Thursday, April 15, 2010

Five Awesome Things

Thursday, April 15, 2010

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]


Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"

Yeeeeah.

Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.

Ready?

*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!


Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.


Uh...

Noisemakers!

I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.


Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.


Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.

[thinking]

[thinking]

[despairing]

[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)
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Caffeinated Tracy said...

This cake is awesome because it fooled every last one of you suckers. It's not a cake. It's a cake COVER designed to look like the most revolting confection ever created. If you stick your finger in the part that appears unfrosted, you'll find a button that releases the airtight seal and gets you to the true treasure hiding within. There's no chance your spouse, kids or houseguests will get anywhere near your hidden prize. It's yours. All yours. Awesome.

Caffeinated Tracy in Lake Mary, FL

stephanie wiley said...

The shinniness really complements the marble slab or is that compliments, can't remember, the shinniness distracts me

elsie said...

I love how all these cakes represent a theme. That theme being "Thanksgiving Dinner". CORN is being eaten, SCARECROWS are, you know, there... There's lots of NOISE, and perhaps if you're eating outside, there's a WATERFALL around (or sewage pipe). And then, to top it off, the finale of having, er... DIGESTED your Thanksgiving meal! How festive!!

Posted by Elsie LeSage

Maren said...

Whether bee, mouse, or hobbit, who WOULDN'T want to live in the glistening dungalo?
I mean, really....
awesome.

Kaethe said...

It provides such a lovely foil to the other cake in the display. One is shiny, and dark, and sort of drippy looking, while the other is matte, and light, and piped.

Anonymous said...

You know, there are people that STUDY poo for a living. Maybe the department is sending off Old Professor Iron Stomach with an appropriate, career-themed cake. I'm just sayin'.
-Sabrina Rose

Lauren said...

At least nothing is misspelled!

CJ said...

The frosting is shiny... and evenly uhh spread......
-CJ Caggia

Melissa said...

A chocolate flood! And chocolate is SO FABULOUS! And SHINY! Oooh, SHINY!

- Melissa S.

jed-laura said...

nobody stepped in it yet- that's awesome :)

Anonymous said...

Well, about the last cake, I think the marble slab and the contrast between dark and light in the photo is awesome. The marble really sets off the, uh, darkness of the chocolate. Yeah, that's it.

WTMCassandra

Paul Koenig said...

Well, like the song thankfully doesn't actually say: Do do that doo-doo that you do so well.

"Let me live 'neath your spell"?
ummmmmm...




No.

Brenda said...

Oh look!! Something shiny! :)

Anonymous said...

first time I scrolled by that oh-so-wonderful scarecrow I thought the sign said "5 star"... and I thought, that is about as far from a 5 star scarecrow as you can get!
sandy t

Anissa said...

Well it appears that the last "cake" is on a tiny marble slab, and where besides the kitchen are you likely to find lots of marble...the bathroom of course! So it's strangly appropriate...eh better than a urinal cake.
-Anissa

Melanie said...

I was just on my way to bathroom and....Oh...shiny...

Melanie Neumann

big andy said...

chocolate. awesome.

Me said...

It comes out looking the same way as when it goes in! What you see is what you get.
AWESOME.
Katie Faris

big andy said...

shiny. awesome.

kathy said...

Kathy M
CHOCOLATE! need i say more?

Krystine said...

What do you mean you can't think of anything? That last cake is so full of possibility! I mean, ANYTHING could be in there! Until you cut it, it's just a bile steaming pile of possibility!

Krystine McCants

T said...

You can see all the straining and effort that went into creating this mammoth beauty! It must have been a moving expericence. The creator must be relieved (and surely wiped out) that it's done. ~CrazyTracy

VLWood said...

I love how it looks to be melting! Who does not like melted chocolate, especially on a marble slab! Priceless! The missing little piece at the bottom, however, makes me gag...just a little.

Cait said...

My name is Cait. Cait the nurse if you want to be specific. As for the last one, it's smooth. I like smooth things. Silk and cashmere are smooth, and they're definately awesome!! Yay for smooth things! By the way, I love the Danish kagemand (cakeman) They're very common around these parts. They might not be so pretty, but they sure taste AWESOME :)c

ABCcreativity said...

it's so SHINY!
shiny things are AWESOME.

Kristin said...

What a gloriously shiny pile of crap. It's such a shiny, reflective pile of crap, I could display it in my trophy case.

sendingtheclowns said...

What I Find AWESOME About This Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Вы знаете какой?
Я думаю, что я только КУПЛЮ книгу.
Я ДЕЙСТВИТЕЛЬНО имею некоторые стандарты, и хорошая доля их не любит быть поставлен под угрозу явным, solicitious ложь. Я люблю книги, но я не буду книжной шлюхой.
Позвольте другим унижаться и ложь для приза...
Не я.

Aisling said...

The last cake is great for those who can't resist scooping up a bit of icing with their fingers. You wouldn't even notice!

sami said...

the glaze is very brown and shiny!

(Samantha Hartley)

Babs Naylor said...

Ode to Mount Poo-vious. Voted the "number two" best volcano to squat for a spell.

Palila said...

The tart on the bottom left looks like it has a nicely-done crust. And the icing on the cake looks exceptionally fudgey.

Anonymous said...

It looks like a very...short....chocolate fountain! Yeah, that's it. A very short chocolate fountain. That's ok, I guess. -Eliza Benson

Little Lovables said...

my 4 year old was with me and for one of the first time ever while looking at this sight, he said, "look at those yucky cakes!"

The last one, he called a "bat cave", though I'm going to up the ante and call it an unfortunate tsunami blend of chocolate pudding and guano assplosion.

Lisa

Shari said...

I am not going to say what the roses reminded me of.. eww!

T said...

Whoever said it's a waste of time to polish a turd never saw this AWESOME creation!

April 15, 2010 10:15 AM

~CrazyTracy (I forgot to put my name... oops)

Addi said...

I don't see a single fingerprint on the entire case mirror! They must clean their display cases meticulously every day!

Tara said...

Oh my gosh! Its Gloppy, from Candy Land! Oh the wonderful memories of cheating at boardgames as a young child...

Mel S.

fairyhedgehog said...

So glossy! And if you're going for the melted Buddha effect, this is the cake for you!

cakewreckcontest.fairyhedgehog@recursor.net

Tiffany Siedschlag said...

The frosting is shiney...shiney things are AWESOME...they make people happy...nothing better in life than Happy Shiney People!


Brought to you by Tiffany...umm...Tiffany the Terrific...the terrific cake eater!!! Whooopwhoooop!!

Laura said...

What's really awesome about that last cake is that the wreckerator didn't let obstacles get in her way. See, that there glob on top was supposed to be a Buddha statue. But she left it in the sun, and it melted. So she put it on anyway, and covered it with chocolate ganache, because, frankly, ganache makes everything better. So, behold! I give you:

THE POO-DDHA CAKE!!!

Laura H. in Iowa

Energyfree said...

You know, smart pastry chefs always use a marble slab since it keeps the pastry cool and obviously the maker of this cake borrowed a marble slab, which is good since it stopped the chocolate from melting entirely off the cake, revealing whatever was hiding on top of that generous 1" of cake! I think it is AMAZING that even setting the cake ON A STOVE, the marble kept the chocolate blob from running......mostly.
~Karen Morton

The VanMatre Clan said...

You obviously ate more corn, now your colon is clean as a whistle. And you had a nice marble slab for clean up so you got that going for you, which is nice.

Rachel said...

Congrats - its so shiny! Not everyone can make it so shiny and smooth. Today is my birthday so this would make a great present (in case your random generator is broken.)

Angie of MI said...

It looks like nice shiny mud and mud makes me think of mud facials, which makes your skin look younger, and looking younger??????

AWESOME

ANGIE BUCKNER

Anonymous said...

This "Cake" is awesome for a few reasons.
1. Its been placed off center on a awesome marble cutting board. Who needs symetry anyway?
2. Its in a refrigerated display, to slow the icings descent on to the awesome marble cutting board.
3. Its Wreckerator Bobs last ditched attempt to salvage his cake making career. And as we all know, beating unemployment is "Awesome".
4. The cake has to contain some ingredients with nutritional value... Right? And nutrition is deffinatley Awesome.

Regards
Chucknorris (from Melbourne Australia)

Michelle S. said...

Hey! If your dog rolled in that cake, he would probably smell like chocolate. :D

Heather said...

I wanna win a book! So, I think the most awesome thing about that last cake is that it is so shiny. Diamonds and other jewelry are also shiny, so shiny things are totally AWESOME!

Becky said...

I'm almost positive that that last -er- confection - contains neither lead, nor mercury, nor asbestos! And as an added bonus, there's enough sugar in there to make my kindergartener feel like she's "...full of bees!! Buzzzzz!!" like she did the day her cough medicine made her so crazy that she was sent home and we took her to the doctor. - Becky K. D.

~m said...

the marble slab is probably easy to disinfect after the cake is done away with! and clean marble slabs are awesome!

mara

Jen said...

Well, according to Urban Dictionary, AWESOME is a 'sticking plaster' word used by Americans to cover over the huge gaps in their vocabulary. Kinda like the way the creator of this cake used melted poo-icing to cover over what I'm sure is an AWESOME cake underneath!

Annie of Blue Gables said...

chocolate? chocolate is good.
I'm thinking though that a dog would have fun rolling in it.
heh heh
~a

Midnight Ramblings said...

Hot, gooey fudge! Just like my Mama (may she rest in peace) used to make! Yum-O!

Eyes Wide Open said...

It looks super glossy? And chocolaty. And uhh... I'd totally eat that . chocolate. mhhm. Where'd I leave my cookies?

Ninja said...

Well. Hm. This is hard.. Really hard. Like others have already mentioned; It's shiny. And shiny is always a good thing, right!? Shiny bald heads and shiny..eh..p**p. Another thing. It's obviously made of lots of chockolate, so it probably tastes good. Probably. And it looks like a mountain! I love mountains! Especially shiny chocolate mountains! Maybe the baker had an experience resembling the potatomash-happening in "Close Encounters". And sci-fi movies is AWESOME!

Rebekah said...

Probably the best thing about the beehive-shaped pile of poo is that I didn't have to smell, touch, or taste it. Let's face it, some cakes are just so repulsive it's hard to remember they're just cake. But hey, that's why it's so awesome. It's so life-like! Life-like is awesome. Right? Right?

-Rebekah L. at ASU.

Ellen said...

Being afraid of the dark is NOT awesome, and cakes get scared too. When covering a cake with an intense amount of ganache, this baker conveniently left a little hole or nightlight, if you will, and consideration for others is awesome.

Anonymous said...

All it's needs is a fly and it would be "AWESOME".

Maggie Pike

Beth said...

That tart in the front left corner looks fabulous!

SisterMaryKate said...

It's shiny! Shiny things are nice.

Kamity said...

Ooh! Shiny! It really brings out the brown!

-Kamis

Anonymous said...

That last one is... so... well, smooth and shiny. Like... something (averting eyes) left out in the hot sun on a humid day. And the sun is good! Happy happy! Even if you are like me and have to avoid it, in order to minimize your risk of skin cancer or something.

Mjx

Walter said...

That high-gloss finish and those distressed edges must have taken hours to complete! This baker would make any HGTV host insanely jealous.

Rebekah said...

OOOOooo! Shiny! And Edward is shiny, right? You know? Edward from that Twilight thing? Or was he sparkly? Anyhow,...

Anonymous said...

All it needs is a fly on top and it's "AWESOME".

Maggie Pike

RAK said...

It looks like it came out nice and smoothly, and that's always good.

ML said...

I do believe that that last cake is the exact shade that my yoga instructor had in mind when he was counseling us on the optimum pooh. Course, he also said it should float - which I don't think this cake could. . . But optimum pooh-color is Awesome!

Anonymous said...

The best thing about that cake is that no one can possibly look at it without thinking, "I can do better than that!" Hundreds--nay, THOUSANDS--of potential Wreckerators who wouldn't have otherwise dared to bake will be pulling out their cake pans and mixing up their frosting. That means more laughs and more cake for us, and nuffink could be more awesome than MORE CAKE!

Beverly, aka Persistence

Jen (the mom of four) said...

It's the cake that keeps on giving...like the Giving Tree...um, yeah, that's it! See the bottom part...looks like a tree stump sporting a bodacious bee hive. Ah...*sniff, sniff*...giving bees a home...such a kind tree...selfless tree...poopular tree.

Oops, sorry...Freudian slip... :-)

Anonymous said...

Is that a car dashboard it's resting on? In that case... could this be an AWESOME edible airbag? Yes: this puts the "ACK!" into "accident."

-Sonia from Germany

theengagementproject said...

That marble slab must have cost at least $16.95 and fancy marble is AWESOME.

Morgan said...

I personally like that it's on a marble slab, lol.

Morgan Wilson

Houpley said...

um...i like chocolate? so there appears to be a lot of it. that's kind of awesome.

p_mac said...

It's awesome because it makes the other cakes look pretty good! Way to take one for the team, Turd Cake; your selfless nobility is an inspiration to us all.

J. Alan Atherton said...

Unfortunately, Johnny always misheard the technique as "Vulcan mind-melt" and so he never had any friends, because, well, just look at what happens!

abi said...

The last cake looks a little like a beehive! And bees make honey! And honey has a mild laxative effect, which can keep your "pipes" from getting clogged! And unclogged pipes are awesome!

Shelley in Kansas said...

Um, yeah, the last cake is really, really shiny. And shiny is AWESOME. Really.

wv: precant. Disclaimer before admitting you are not able to do something (like come up with a funny and AWESOME comment about that horrible mess of a cake).

afrancis said...

The cool marble slab is wonderful and it looks like the chocolate is nicely tempered by the beautiful, glossy shine! Two wonderful bits of praise for the swirly brown cake at the end! Allyson Francis of A Cook's Delight (acooksdelightri.com, but I try to stay wreck-less!)

WV: dinest - After viewing some wrecks on this site, I prefer not to dinest for a while.

Aunt LoLo said...

The chocolate icing is so shiny! I can never get mine to stay shiny like that...

How's that? ;-)

Heather T said...

The glaze is so smooth, so shiny, so much chocolatey yum, so awesome!

Anonymous said...

Ooh, look at that lovely marble slab on which the oozing brown pile is set. That slab could very well be used for cutting cheese, couldn't it? 'Cuz that would be AWESOME if you did - cut the cheese on it, that is.

Anne-Marie McDonald

Dr. Russ said...

What a beautiful sheen of the chocolate turd that any mouse would love to burrow into the perfectly trapezoidally shaped opening. Who wouldn't be pleased?

Pinar B. said...

Wow, awesome depiction of a brown headless buddha! So realistic and creative!
http://jadejewelrystore.com/store/images/3744-brown-jade-buddha-pendant.jpg

Heidi said...

Wow, Mount St. Helens just two weeks after the eruption!! Awesome!!!!

Heidi

Kimmer said...

Underneath all that shine, it's just a regular cake, right? And regularity is ... well, awesome!

Katie T (Mama to 2 R's) said...

It's a very visually relaxing cake. It reminds us that things we normally think of us tough or hard can sometimes be more pliant than we believed. It tells us that sometimes there is no strain involved. Things can happen quickly, easily, and with little effort and maximum relief. It's a confection catharsis!

Marcella said...

I can see what the baker was thinking--these people keep buying and eating all my cake! I never get any! Aha, I know a sure-fire way that I'll be able to eat a whole cake by myself. Mwahahah!!

At least, that's what I would be thinking...

-Marcella

Anonymous said...

Becky Branscum says...

Awesome how durable that marble slab is, It can be dropped and not a crack in it still able to hold up the replica of Mt. Vesuvius!! Amazing!!!!

Susan said...

There's so much chocolate in this cake that it would be medicinal for even the worst PMS day. (And medicine doesn't have to look pretty; it just has to alleviate the symptoms.)
Susan G in southeast Wisc

Katie T (Mama to 2 R's) said...

It's a very visually relaxing cake. It reminds us that things we normally think of us tough or hard can sometimes be more pliant than we believed. It tells us that sometimes there is no strain involved. Things can happen quickly, easily, and with little effort and maximum relief. It's a confection catharsis!

Caranam said...

Imagine how satisfying it would be to throw THAT cake at someone who really deserved it. Think about the horror in their eyes as the chocolate mound of scary came flying at them. Delight in the image of chocolate goo and crumbs dripping down their face and sticking in their hair.

Now that is awesome.

Tiffany said...

A la "Cheese" from the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

"I like Chocolate Milk!" *drool*
---------------------------
That's the first thing I thought of - and let's face it, Foster's is an AWESOME cartoon!!! My favorite is when my whole family sits around the table and does the Cheese vs. Eduardo....

"I like Chocolate Milk!"
"Si, and I like Potatos!"

OR

doitagain! doitagain! doitagain! doitagain!

Even Daddy gets in on the action!

Ya - watching Cartoons with your kids is totally AWESOME! :)

Much love Jen and John!!

<3 Tiffany Bonnewell

Cindy said...

That cake is so shiny the calories slide right off. Yeah, that's it..

Amanda said...

Clearly, the last one is the spitting image of gloppy the chocolate monster from the beloved game Candyland! right? right?

Carrie P said...

One word:

Ganache.

I don't much care how bad something looks if I know, at its core, it is chocolate melted in heavy cream.

Becca said...

It's.....shiny?

Becca Ouren

Farihah said...

the shiny glossyness of er. whatever it is. makes my dull, lustre-less hair so jealous. obviously.

planetnomad said...

Estonia! Faugh! Who cares about Estonia? Send the book to Morocco! Cuz in Morocco, we know that last cake is AWESOME because, um...because, um...it was made by a 5 year old! And 5 years olds are awesomely squeaky, especially when they don't actually live with you.

Crystal said...

It's chocolate, that's the good news right there! Crystal Landon

Stephanie L. McGee said...

You know what's totally awesome about that last cake? It's so shiny! And we all know that the world needs more shiny things. And if we ingest said shiny thing, we can get all that shininess to come out our pores and we can all sparkle. And our hair will be shiny. But most of all, we'd sparkle just like a vampire.

Annie B., Scouter Extraordinaire said...

I guess with a pile that large, there must be a pony around here somewhere. Ponies are awesome!

Kim said...

What a beautiful marble board, it really brings out the complete lack of color in the cake!

pxilated said...

There's chocolate!

Kristyn S said...

The ants are SO lucky to have a (chocolate) anthill to live in!

Becca said...

It's a beehive! A glossy, shiny, chocolate beehive. Just imagine the lovely chocolate honey that might be
in the middle. Awesome!

Becca Knox

GirlfromShangriLa said...

Dear me!

Did you see District 9? Well, that "corncob" in the second picture looks like a female alien-bug in a swimsuit.

Kristyn S said...

The ants are SO lucky to live in a shiny (chocolate)anthill like that!

Lisa R. said...

You know how some cakes are too pretty to eat? Well in this case, it's NOM NOM NOM time. Break out the insulin, this is going to be sweet.

Holly said...

The ventilation fins are a welcome sight, since this cake stinks.

hartman said...

my son has been really sick -- I mean blow out diapers sick. If I saw something that solid in his pants it would mean that he was no longer sick. And not being sick is awesome!

Purveyor of Salsa with Noise said...

Clearly, after receiving a faulty Easter lamb cake, a rogue assassin tried to silence this baker by planting a landmine and venomous snake in the oven. But, just at the moment the snake sat coiled atop the cylindrical landmine ready to strike as the baker opened the door, baby Jesus in his swaddling clothes and carrot-free manger rained heavenly chocolate down over the snake and mine, foiling the assassin's evil plan, and foiling evil plans is ....AWESOME!

R,E said...

*anal evacuation

girlfromshangrila said...

Dear me!

Did you see District 9? Well, that "corncob" in the second picture looks like a female alien-bug in a swimsuit. Ugh.

Can't See Sheep said...

Hmmmmm, say something awesome about the last cake. Okay, but first, how old is the first cake??? Is that dust??? Is their such a thing as frosting dandruff?? WTH is up with that???

Okay, something awesome about the last cake, yeah.

Well, the last cake is covered in lovely smooth chocolate, which is good because chocolate has antioxidants which protect the body from free radicals that age the body & can cause heart disease. It can also help lower blood pressure, cholesterol, stimulates endorphin production & contains serotonin which behaves like an anti-depressant. So the last cake is really is just a big ol' pile of stimulating, anti-aging goodness!

smgf3f said...

It kind of looks like a rose under there. But, every rose has its thorn. So let's just be thankful one of those thorns didn't poke a hole in someones colon. The red would have made us all lose our appetites...for weeks!

Shannon Gann

kathleen said...

The chocolate looks nicely tempered!

Hamilton said...

I'm certain it tastes better than it looks, what with the coil of snake slathered with a glossy sheen of
liver and a live mouse filling. I'm sure it's the next greatest thing since the dog biscuit and beggin' strip sandwich was invented.

Terri said...

Terri Johnson - Hey at least there isn't any flies buzzing around it!!!!

EWebey said...

That last one was real Slick looking. Looks like it would slide right down your....uh...Throat..Yes throat!!

Erin W.

Rocket said...

It's very....glossy.

....Yeah, it's glossy!

A glossy cake is automatically pretty, right?

...Right?

Wendy said...

Ooo! Something shiny! That cake could keep me distracted all day long.

-Wendy

Cindy said...

That cake is fabulous! I reminds me of my family's favorite knock-knock joke:

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Pile up."
"Pile up who?"



Bwahaha! Pile of poo! Haaaaa!

- Cindy, mother of all boys. Four sons. And wife of one husband who also enjoys the occasional potty humor.

Karin Bowman said...

What a glorious shine they put on that...cake! Just like brown patent leather! Yum.
Karin Bowman

Tsosie and Peterson Bunch said...

A clean colon is an awesome thing. And I'm pretty sure someone has a clean colon now.

marlatiara said...

Wow, you really CAN polish a turd! That is one shiny shiny turd! I can see my face in it! Props to that baker!

Diane Karst said...

Now we know that Rodin's Thinker, wasn't just, uh, thinking...that's gotta be awesome...for him. Not to mention a great relief.

Marissa R said...

What a lovely cutting board! it's so square!

Anonymous said...

Well, I sure took a shinin' to that petrified poo.
Shana B.

Cindy 6 said...

there is extra icing on the side so you can stick your finger in the icing without disturbing the rolling hills of the cake.
~Cindy6

Rebecca F. (blog fan!) said...

It glistens. And that is awesome!

And Rachel should totally win with her anal comment. LMAO.

Anonymous said...

Clearly the wreckorator has done an awesome job freelancing Mom's request for a chocolate baseball themed birthday cake. When faced with the bakery's shortage of plastic baseball flotsam, she decided to go all out and surprise litte Jimmy with his first baseball mitt. Then she covered all her bases and covered the whole thing in chocolate. This cake is a homerun!

Becky "O-Dee"

Jude said...

Well, that last cake looks nicely squishy, very soft. And I'm sure it's easy to do. And, really, what more can we ask for than soft, squishy easy to produce...erm...chocolate cakes?

Heather C said...

If you don't eat it, it could be a home for your bees! Think of all the honey!
And, of course, chocolate tastes awesome!

April said...

It's good because that's a lot of chocolate, and you can never have enough chocolate. Even if it looks like crap.

- April (the one who smells like May flowers after she showers)

C said...

The lighting in the photograph is just awesome. The cake reflects like it's almost radioactive.

Anonymous said...

Umm.... chocolate. Chocolate is awesome, right? Yeah! Chocolate piles of shiny, misshappen, oozing, runny, lumpy....... uh -- what was I talking about? Oh yeah - chocolate! Chocolate is awesome! I'm stickin' with that.
MaureenLS

Fifi said...

It's very shiny, and who doesn't love shiny things?

PS - I love poop jokes :-)

Sandy Geyer said...

Okay, think "Music Man" Got it?

Shapoopy, shapoopy, shapoopy.

Anonymous said...

It's so shiny! And shiny things are pretty and awsome!!

Luanne

lulukr@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

It looks like this was a big JOB accomplished! Get it? Job? Bah-dump-bah. (Crickets chirping) Is my grandmother the only one who called it a job??
Rebecca Richmond, wife of Ryan who regularly makes cakes like this

BoringDoug said...

Taking dog for walk while carrying plastic bag-good.
Taking dog for walk with high-tech pooper-scooper-better.
Taking dog for walk whike carrying a classy marble slab for him to do his business on-AWESOME (or at least excellent)!

megan said...

Well the chocolate is so shiny and glossy, the cake must be in really good health. See, cakes are like dogs noses...

Michael said...

It looks to me like someone was extremely constipated and remedied that by taking Ex-Lax. That is awesome on many levels. Ex-Lax is awesome because it relieves the pain and discomfort of constipation. Having been relieved of the pain and discomfort of constipation is really awesome. The look on your partner's face when they see what you have done to their marble slab is hilarious and being hilarious is awesome. And finally, getting that crap out is the start of being healthy again and being healthy is really awesome.

Jenniffer said...

The AWESOME in that cake? Easy!! It looks like someone just lost 5 pounds in one sitting!! Losing weight is AWESOME right??

-Jenniffer White
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

shobelle said...

This cake is what happens when middle school volcano project meets Home (r)Ec. After all, how else would you get the oh, so elusive "already erupted, yet oh, so tasty, pile o' cake"?!

- Shoni B

wv = dystamak: ever dystamak someone for a smart comment?

betsey said...

It looks so shiny and ... fresh! I can almost feel the warmth.

Gabriela Frei said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kero said...

That is the best mud-pie I've ever seen! Obviously they practiced a lot as a kid. It really paid off!

Keri S.

Lynnetta said...

Look at that shine! Look at that sparkle! I mean, come on now, Look how that cake glistens!

Jonni Smotherman said...

Wow!! As a manager of a Dairy Queen restaurant (which I'm really not, I just need to be disguised as one to make this work), I never knew what to do with the Chocolate Dipped Cone Mishaps. Chocolate Dip Cones are awesome! Dairy Queen is AWESOME!

Kate said...

Just look at how fresh that cake is! It must have been frosted while still warm, and the icing hasn't even set yet because it's still oozing off. That's probably the freshest cake that's every been sold in a bakery in decades, if not forever!

- Kate the College Kid

Kate said...

It is not in a paper bag on fire on your doorstep...

Katie "has seen too many Adam Sandler Movies" Phillips

Amanda Allgood said...

You know, it is so hard to get chocolate icing to that right, purable consistency, and they did that with this one, so hey, way to go! I'm also looking at those red flecks on the side of the marble slab. Seems this cake can also be used as a murder weapon. I have to appreciate that.

Dria Roark said...

This cake is awesome because it gives the poo mice a home, such s shiny, piled home.

Meg said...

It looks kind of like Jabba the Hut's head. The fat rolls, the monochromatic brown color, the onlooker's subtle loss of appetite...

And I think just about everyone (except a few misguided Star Trek fans) would agree that Jabba the Hut IS Awesome!

Meg of the moderately-common name

Carrie said...

I'm straining to come up with something but my creativity just stinks...
Good thing that icing didn't ooze over the marble and into the grate thing (what the heck is in the background?)

Carrie, Westport, WA

Dlinthe said...

It's SHINEY! And...it totally looks like a mouse hole down at the bottom. You can't see the mouse, cuz it's hiding, but it's AWESOME!

Becky said...

Symmetry is so yesterday, so this is an excellent attempt at an avante garde interpretation of ... um... chocolate ... and .. um.. stuff... and ..uh.. cake!!! At the heart of it all, it's still cake and cake is goooood.

Tara said...

It's chocolate! I think.

{ bRee } said...

By the looks of this enormous cake PILE you know someone put a lot of EFFORT into getting that thing out. They must have put their heart and soul (and last nights all you can eat buffet) into MAKING it!


your fan,
Aubrey Williams

Gabriela Frei said...

Hey, I recognize that: it's the first place trophy from the Lincoln Log Convention in Uranus. Someone really worked, strained even, to get every last inch of that tower sparkling. It's so shiny, so radiant... just so glistening.

Gabriela Frei

Evn said...

That cake in the lower left looks amazing compared to the cake in the center of the picture. It was probably a great cake to begin with, but compared to this heap of messy goo?

Being made to look good by all the mediocrity surrounding you? You guessed it = Awesome.

-Evn

VeggieT said...

"Wow look at how glossy that last cake is! and that shade of brown, ooh, looks like dark chocolate, I wonder if there's marshmallow inside? Mmmm..."

OtherRobert said...

That marble slab must make it really easily clear off the pile of feces that fell on that poor cake. I bet it slides right off. You know what's awesome? Easily cleanable surfaces.

Cole said...

Let me tell you, I have had a nasty intestinal virus lately and if I could make poo that looked even THAT solid it would be AWESOME! Nice semi-solid poo!


~Nicole "on my way to the bathroom AGAIN" Taddy

Rachel said...

Rachel M

It's a old beehive dipped in chocolate! Recycling is awesome!

Goosey said...

I like to think that the cake on that last one is actually trying to crawl out from under the, uh, the *flow*, there. See it peeking out the bottom? Escaping cake is AWESOME.

(Jennie A., aka Goosey)

Caroline B said...

It's awesome because it has reminded me of a very old joke that still makes me laugh:

"Mummy, Mummy, can I lick the bowl?"

"No, Son, pull the flush like everyone else..."

Gabriela Frei said...

Hey, I recognize that: it's the first place trophy from the Lincoln Log Convention in Uranus.

Someone had to work so hard to get those streaks out, to get that tower glistening, shining so bright.

Swan said...

"Aww, look! You made a replica of a mother polar bear snuggling her cub close while sitting on a tree stump, and then you covered the whole thing in chocolate? That's awesome! The roots sticking out to the right give it so much more realism, and the roots on the left look like more hugging arms! Thank you so much, you shouldn't have. No, I mean you really shouldn't have."

~~Swansong, east coast USA

Phaedra said...

The base to that last cake is really perfectly round, and considering it was made by dung beetles that is truly awesome!!!

Alyssa said...

It's a smooth, shiny, chocolatey covered mountain with a lovely little cave for a cute little creature to hide in. Alyssa Morris

apopheniae said...

"Well, at least we know that the laxatives work, Mr. Johnson. And I'm sure you'll agree that's awesome."

Leisel said...

YEA! Good for you! This big pile of crap cake is to celebrate the end of your bout with constipation. Congratulations on your return to regularity!

Oh, and you can thank us later for ruining chocolate for you forevermore. It'll save you so many calories!

Rebecca said...

Eesh... 311 comments already.

Hi, I'm Rebecca Essssss..... (cuz I'm not comfortable putting on my last name) Anyway - on to the positive comment....

Shiny! Smooth! Perfectly poured!

Katie said...

Chocolate! You can't go wrong with chocolate!

(That IS chocolate, right?!)

-Katie R., chocolate lover

Elena said...

The marble cutting board has an AWESOME smudge on the front that really complements the frosting.

Laura said...

Well, the chocolate does a nice job of disguising what appears to be a chicken leg on top of the cake....and, y'know, it's always important to hide those.
laura shachmut

Andy said...

You have to admit, it doesn't look too hard, and not being too hard is definitely awesome. Besides that, have you ever seen such a sheen on such a thing? Awesome!?

Andre the Giant ('cause he was definitely awesome)

Jenni Lathrop said...

It's obviously a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Who doesn't love chocolate? Who doesn't love frosting? I'd say that cake is all kinds of AWESOME!

Jessica E. said...

Wow - the terribleness of this cake is so awesome, on a scale of 1-5 I give it a solid number 2.

MaryBT said...

Well, when I took Wastewater Treatment Plant Design in college, they told us that shit always runs downhill. However, this cake appears to have shit running uphill! This wreckarator is so talented, he has managed to defy the laws of gravity! Oh yeah, and it's very shiney too. :)

Mary BT from Mi Vida Azar. http://marybt.wordpress.com

Ashley said...

Its not that often you can test the frosting on a cake and no one would notice (that is, if you dare) But Chocolate! who doesn't love chocolate? and there is PLENTY to go around
Ashley Rowser

Peggy said...

It's shiny! And SHINY is AWESOME!

Peg Linge

Cat Skyfire said...

That last one is so shiny, and shiny is awesome.

Nathalie said...

Marble is awesome!!

Sharyn Hamilton said...

Losing 5 pounds in one swell poop -- uh, I meant "fell swoop" -- AWESOME!!!

Anonymous said...

Uhhhh..........It looks like a beehive. Bees make honey. Honey is good.

Kelsey C said...

Yeah... that's pretty much just a pile of dung... no way around it. Though that poor marble slab it's on looks quite nice.

Liz Yohn said...

It looks like a beehive - covered in chocolate! How cute... :-)

Krystal DP said...

That icing does have a nice sheen to it. I've never seen icing so shiny in my life.
Krystal DP

Cecile said...

At least the elephant is feeling better. must be all that corn.

Gayle Choo said...

At least nothing is misspelled...?

Lari R said...

Sure it may look like "that", but did you notice the beautiful marble slab that it was DUMPed on?! A slab so gorgeous it could have only come from the BOWELS of the quarry!

Stef said...

It's shiny. Shiny things rule! Usually.

Chad said...

I think that cake represents Hershey, Pennsylvania celebrating the birth of the Hershey's Kiss and the Hottest Day of the Year! Two celebrations in one day is awesome!

Chad White
chad [at] cupadeecakes [dot] com

Emma R said...

It's served on a slab of marble! If that doesn't scream "classy", then I don't know what does.

Cortney said...

It's shiny and smooth and reminds me how AWESOME it is to be REGULAR! Because you know no one wants to have dull ....

Lori said...

Wow, there are a lot of Loris here.

That cake is so scary that it keeps people from coming to the display case, thereby saving the other cakes from being eaten. It's a hero cake!

-Lori B. (the cool one)

The Ferber Family said...

look at all that CHOCOLATE?! no matter how "crappy" the thing looks you know it has to taste good when it's got about a pound of melty chocolate poured over it.
oh, and my name is addie

Chris Entrap said...

That is the shiny-est chocolate icing I have ever seen! I wonder if you look at the other side your reflection will be magnified?

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