Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Pioneering Pastries

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Today on the continuing "Virtual" Tour we get to visit Ree Drummond, aka the Pioneer Woman. Yes, THE Pioneer Woman. For those few of you who haven't yet been introduced to this 2008 Blog of the Year winner, Ree is a self-described desperate housewife who went from "spoiled city girl to domestic ranch wife in the blink of an eye." Her site is spectacular, with plenty of humor, gorgeous photography, recipes, and more. I highly recommend a visit.

Now, since Ree is married to a real live cowboy, and does in fact live on a cattle ranch, I tried to find some Wrecks to make her and her readers feel right at home here.

[dusting off hands] There! That should do it.


What, a dead cow is too creepy? Nooo problem.

See, the eyes are open, so that's how you can tell it's alive. Much less creepy.


NOTE: I'm about to post some horse cakes. So first, let's pause and say a quick prayer that no equine-related tragedies are occurring - or have recently occurred - anywhere in the world.

All set? Goodie.

Hey, Phil, why the long lip? (Bwahahahah!!)


There, there, Poncy, I'm sure those spots will clear up in no time. What's that? Why, yes, you do look a little flushed. But I'm sure it's nothing, really.


Dude, you are soo not a horse. [backing away] Oh, but hey, don't mind me. You can hang here with the horsies just as long as you like, uh, sir. Please don't gore me.

Well, my dear Wreckies, we have reached the end of today's post...

...but(t) I do hope you got a kick out of it.

Be sure to check out Ree's post on my virtual visit here, and watch for her gorgeous new book, The Pioneer Woman Cooks, to hit shelves later this month.

Thanks to Wreckporters Regina B., K.P., Amanda L., Luci, Livia B., & Kara H.!

- Related Wreckage: FHOTD, This One's For You
Taylor said...

"Ahh! Demon llama! Demon llama!"

Jennifer R. said...

Hahahahahaha!!! The other people in the "Quiet Study Room" just looked over at me...I can't imagine why =)

Chelsea said...

The first cow cake would be cute... If it wasn't a dead cow cake.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

That pink one looks like a My Little Pony with, er...tetanus or something. She's a little on the stiff side.

mn_me said...

where can i order a cake of a horse's rear end? i know just who to send it to...

but the cows... please..

i also know of no horse who'd be led around by a nose ring... bizarre

Shannon Rodriguez said...

Funny...scared my two year old when he ran up to the computer. Then he called the horse, a dog!

SimplySweeter said...

Perfect. All we need is to add naked baby carrot jockeys and we're off to the races! Love it!

http://www.simplysweeter.blogspot.com

Justina Clayburn said...

If you have not read it yet, read the story about her courtship on Pioneer Woman's blog. It's sooooo good!

Jane said...

I LOOOOOOOVE Ree's website! I've been following it for awhile now and was happy to see you mention it. I want her to be my BFF, ha ha!
But those wrecks...ugh. Why does the horse have a nose ring??

Vickie said...

My jaw literally dropped when I saw the horse's patootie! (I want to say a different word, but this is a family, site, remember?) Who would order such a cake, much less eat it?

Kait said...

I know I'm being very picky, but did anyone else notice that the hooves of the horse-butt cake are backwards? Roundy part goes in the front, not the back.

Alix said...

"Please don't gore me."

Great horse quote, dude.

Alix said...

What?.... No nod to "The Godfather" in pastry? You sure are losing your head, Jen.

Get it? Losing your head?

{nevermind}

Zhoen said...

The second one is pretty well done, nearly artistic. The IDEA is bad, especially on a ccc, but the execution (sorry) is rather effective.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

That horse haunts my dreams!

Katiedid1806 said...

What I want to know is WTHeck is that blue thing on the dead cow body? A bow?

And horses do not generally have rings through theie nostrils - bulls do. How strange. I had not noticed the hooves on backwards for the horse butt cake. I think I was too freaked out by the time I saw that one.

lisadh said...

I think the first one is kind of well done, but, really, WHY would anyone ever need to order a cake of a dead cow? Seriously, people!!

jmberrygirl said...

Visiting from PW. LOVE YOUR BLOG!

Jessica H said...

The first cake made me remember the joke I used to tell everyone when I was 5:

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

Still funny after all these years.

Mick said...

Who in their right mind would order a cake with a horses ass sticking out?!

Bizzare.

Though the pink horse with the yellow dots is more up my street..

Cookie said...

The first one is cute except for the whole dead horse thing. Why ruin a perfectly cute cake with xs for eyes?

I'm enjoying the virtual tour. Love the sites you're linking to.

Sharon said...

I think the ground beef cake is kinda cute, but the blue bow on its shoulders baffles me.

That CCC is skillfully done, but uhm...is that Holstein face all icing?

The nose ring cake...it appears someone failed basic barnyard animal identification. Those look like horns (little bitty horns) on it, but that is definitely a horse's face.

Or was it the customer's fault? Someone's husband or son gets sent to the bakery to order the cake. He picks out the horse face. Mom checks up on the order before picking it up and says, "A horse? We ordered a Texas Longhorn!" Quick makeover.

Terry Lee said...

okay, the CCC cow is v. damn creepy. those glassy eyes ... {{{shivering}}}.

am likin' the pink pony, however. don't care for her spottiness, but the cute swirly tail is adorable. you almost can't go wrong with pink.

as an aside, my daughter (another fan of yours) saw your book in barnes and noble this weekend and nearly caused a scene because she was so excited.

will be purchasing my own copy soon and hope to make your austin visit.

karmapearl said...

I'm so hungry, I could eat the ass end of a horse!


....... Wow, look. The ass end of a horse.

....Riiiight.

Anonymous said...

That second one is startlingly realistic.

wv: foryo

I'm going to get one of those horse's behind cakes foryo birthday.

Megan said...

I'm laughing because my 8 y/o daughter took a look and said, "Those cakes are animal cruelty."! She makes a good point!

Michelle said...

Cake Wrecks and The Pioneer Woman Cooks are the two websites I visit every day. I(f my cable happens to be down, I do not miss my email, I do not miss facebook, I miss these two websites.

Studyaid said...

I don't think the horse shoes are on backwards on the last one, I think the hooves have been severed.

Kelly H said...

Shades of Godfather are going through my head!

TerraD said...

Perfect way to end that post!

Trevor said...

I will probably be in the minority here, but I'm not a big fan of this tour of other websites thing. I feel like some of the humor is coming out a little forced or somethign.

Fluffy Cow said...

Not sure if I should laugh or cry about those cow cakes... *off to ponder*

urbangirl said...

Pore Poncy! I'm almost positive those spots will go away (ehem) in the futur.LOL! :)

BellaLovesPink said...

I think I just peed my pants a little, this post is so funny!

The long-lipped, scooby-doo horse is my favorite! And the CCC is frightening!

Amy said...

My husband does necropsy (animal autopsy) in his line of work. The cow head looks like it's ready for necropsy. Ugh.

~Amy B.

summur braley said...

My 2 favorite blogs have merged! Oh happy day! :)

Diana said...

Actually, for a CCC, that first cow is darn good. It LOOKS like a cow head.

Where was the llama?

Susan from Food Blogga said...

Now, the last one is some piece of ass.

cottoncolors said...

A pink polka dotted pony? Why?

wv:conpar
I hate trying to conpar all these wrecks, since they are equally wreckie!

rhonda said...

I'll admit, I love the realistic looking cow cake. Yes, it's a CCC. I don't care, it made me smile and not in the usual "holy crap, what were they thinking?" kinda way that I smile here. Maybe it's because I grew up with a field of cows behind the house and I'm used to seeing them staring at me when I open my curtains. Whatever. If I saw that cake I'd buy it with barely an ironic thought.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Trevor,

Go with it man. Jen is doing the virtual book tour, writing regular post for when we are on the actual tour, writing additional posts for each event, doing 4 interviews a day and, on Friday, we're getting on an 8 hour flight to Portland for our first national stop. And did I mention Jen hates flying?

If it helps, the VBT is over on Friday and the posts will go back to normal. I guess what I'm saying is that Jen would be most grateful for some slack cutting.

And thanks for putting your name. We actually appreciate the occasional critical comment.

john

p.s. I don't mean to sound harsh. Just trying to keep my girl sane.

Julie said...

Oh but there HAVE been equine-related tragedies--four of them in fact, all immortalized right on your blog today!

BritnieAnn said...

Yeah Pioneer Woman! Totally love her website. Thanks for mentioning her!

Lisa Leggett said...

Whoooaaa Nelly! That devil horse is scaring me! But I like the horses patoot, it's funny!

Go East, Young Man said...

@KatieDid1806

I think that blue thing on the first cow is a supposed to a blue ribbon. Like at a county fair.



WV: urpers: *urp* These cakes have given me the urpers. Anybody have some Pepto?

Rebecca F. said...

"NOTE: I'm about to post some horse cakes. So first, let's pause and say a quick prayer that no equine-related tragedies are occurring - or have recently occurred - anywhere in the world."

Bwahahahahaha!!!

Sarah said...

Uhhhhh Jen, I think those horse wrecks are tragedies in and of themselves.

lyla conrad said...

I think the cow CCC (ptooie!) is the best CCC I've ever seen.

リン姫 said...

The first cake is so cute I would actually want that! The second CCC though... it's... way to real and creepy that is for sure. The third one... it almost reminds me of a spider. Aside from the first one they all deserve this face Щ(°Д°Щ )!

kathryn said...

So glad PW's blog is part of the virtual tour!

Goof said...

:D Eeeeeeee I seriously laughed out loud when the last one came up! Great job!

I'm Just a Girl said...

The second cake, when I look at it, I hear an eerie, desperate whisper, "Heeeelllllpppppp meeeeeeeeee!!"

On the plus side, I have a strong desire to watch The Godfather again.

Karen said...

Oh, great, Jen.

You've now provided me with yet another website I've got to visit on a daily basis while my employer assumes I am working!

Love your site, by the way! It's still numero uno in my browser.

Cyndi said...

I can't believe all the missed opportunity's to coin the phrase,"CCC-cup COW cake".

Thanks for the great blogs everyday-I'm never hungry for cake after I've visited!

Jael said...

I think this tour of other blogs is awesome. In fact, I've giggled copiously MORE than usual the past couple days.

Burris said...

What has been seen cannot be unseen. Thanks a lot, Cake Wrecks!

Jones Town said...

This is my first time to your blog. I have only read the first post (about the cows and horses) and I haven't stopped laughing yet! The other comments are hilarious too! Great job!

curegirl0421 said...

SO love P-dub! I plugged her book on my blog too. :) She is so loved.

That horse CCC is terrifying, BTW.

Suzanne Dargie said...

Hooooo Boy! There sure are some talented people out there....unfortunately none of them made any of these cakes.

The dead cow at the beginning is well done, but just very strange subject matter.

And yeah, I noticed there was something wrong with the horse's hooves on the butt cake. They ARE backwards!

S. said...

The fourth cake (pink with white dots) reminds me of the plague of incurable boils...

Samantha said...

I expect those cow cakes to taste like a hamburger.

Ellen said...

Ahhh, now artax is going headfirst!!!

Trevor said...

John (Husband of Jen),

No worries. I've never been one to hide my name. And I was just offering my feedback. I love this site, and it's often been the highlight of my very bad days to come here and see what Jen has posted, along with her hysterical commentary. I'm looking forward to meeting you all at the event in DC. i'm trying to fomulate a truly appropriate wrecktastic cupcake to bring with me.

wondrousitem said...

Whatever kicked that last horse into the sheet-board thing was crazy strong. It's feet are on backwards!

Ha. "Demon Llama"
I love that movie.

Cake_or_Death said...

Dead cow cake is just wrong, but undead cow cake is even wronger.

I'm less disturbed by Poncy's spots than by his (her?) disproportionately long legs and apparent lack of neck.

The horse-butt cake - now that's cool! Fiance and I are planning a cowboy party, and I think we may have found our cake - with the hoof problem corrected, of course.

WV - orippy - o-rippy ti yi yo, git along little horsie(butt)...

Sandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Trevor,

Then Wreck On Brother!

and Sandi?

It's at the bottom. Kinda hard to find...

john

Kathrine said...

What on earth *is* that third "horse" cake?? And why does it appear to be chewing its way through the table at me??

Jenni said...

I'm sorry, but I think the first one is actually pretty good. :p

pinkleader said...

Curse You CW Jen! I've wasted more than a good share of my day engrossed in the romance story of her getting to know her husband. Great story, but arghhh!!!!

Carol said...

I kinda like that first one. But my husband is a butcher and dead cows are kinda of old news. It's the live one with the creepy eyes that scares me.

Caryn said...

My 2 year old came and sat on my lap just as I was scrolling by the pink horse and to my amazement she squealed "Pink horsie!!!" ....I may have to make a wreck of my own!

Lizzy Leigh said...

I used to milk cows for a living, and let me tell you they are evil, stupid and dangerous creatures. The CCC nearly gave me a heart attack!

Bookworm said...

That second cow cake is actually really good....But it's so adorable that I would never meet it!

Jess said...

The fourth one looks almost like the Pantomime Horse from Monty Python. Key word here is almost.

colleenoz said...

That creepy CCC cow cake makes me shiver every time I look at it!
Enquiring minds wish to know- was the person who ordered the last cake implying that the person it was intended for is a horse's ass? Just wondering!
Keep up the good work, Jen! Wish you were touring Australia- maybe next time :-)

Melissa said...

I think I love the horse butt cake. It's so wrong, but somehow so cute.

Am I the only one who thinks the second one is technically pretty well done for a CCC? (patooie!) That icing job on a sheet cake would get good reviews from me, but even that can't save a CCC. (patooie!)

Martha said...

LOVE the pink pony's expression! What little girl doesn't dream of having a pony cake begging to not be eaten with their eyes at her birthday?

redrall said...

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him cake.

Or am I just eating a dead horse?

raw said...

Hey now, for a CCC, that cow face one is actually pretty good.

April said...

The evil looking horse-like cake makes me think of Bad Horse from Dr. Horrible. I've had the song stuck in my head ever since I first looked at that cake.

Anonymous said...

Either that cow has really bad teeth or he's eating a cupcake.

Danielle said...

I just thought you'd like to know that six malnourished horses were found in Baton Rouge Wednesday. The owners are in custody and the horses are undergoing treatment. So, a horse tragedy occurred, but there was a happy ending. Feel better?

Lucille Ball Jr. said...

love the pig!

Nicole said...

Cool, I love Ree!

Wibble said...

CupCakeCow's burning eyes are boring a hole through my soul. O_O *shiver*

bkk said...

I actually like the dead cow cake- maybe it'll be my birthday cake this year...

david said...

Maybe I'm a little bit nutty but I kinda like the cow head CCC. It looks pretty realistic... okay so yea thats creepy but still, points for realism.

Anonymous said...

The cake of the horse's backside ... the hooves are on backwards. They shouldn't be a "U" shape coming from what would be the front of the horse. You should only be able to see the back 1/2 of the hooves on each foot. So, either the blacksmith's an idiot, or the horse's legs have been broken and put back.

Love this blog, BTW!!

Angie said...

Woo hoo! Beef cakes!