Now, I know what you're thinking. "Jem," you're thinking - because you frequently get me mixed up with the 80s cartoon rocker - "Jem, how is it even possible to Wreck a cheese cake?"
Why, like this, my adorably confused reader:
[singing] "This-is-how-we-do-it!" So that's a traditional cheesecake Wreck, but what if I told you it gets even Wreckier?
BEHOLD, THE WEDDING CHEESE CAKE WRECK!!!
Yes, my dear Wreckies, I'm afraid it's true: that is a "cake" made entirely of cheese. And not a sweet cream cheese, either - oh no. I'm talkin' the stuff that gets described with words like "sharp," "green veining," and "stinky feet." And it's a wedding cake.I wish I could say this is a one-time fluke, but unfortunately wedding cheese "cakes" are a growing trend. They're not in addition to the traditional cake, either; they're in place of it. Meaning there is no actual wedding cake at these weddings - just cheese. Cheese! As if that's an acceptable substitute!
What happened to the time-tested wedding arrangement? You know, the one where we bring expensive linens, crystal, and espresso-makers in exchange for a free meal, a little boozy dancing, and a slice of gorgeously decorated, oh-so-scrumptious cake?
Frankly, it only adds insult to injury when someone tries to "pretty" these things up, too:
Fake flowers and ribbon pinned (yes, pinned) into cheese wheels does not an elegant "cake" make.Still, nothing's as bad as combining cake, cheese, and a pork pie all into a single display:
The question is, can you tell which layer is which?Cass J., Anony M., Stella P., & Second Anony., I Camembert it; all the Gouda puns Havarti been used!
- Related Wreckage: "Cake" Cruelty
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 272 of 272 Newer› Newest»OMG WHY??????????????
I'm sure you've heard this comment before, but I just puked in my mouth a little. And I'm pretty sure that's what I'd do if I showed up to a wedding that served cheese instead of cake! GROSS!!!
In the last picture, the top layer is the pork pie. First I was just thinking that replacing a cake with pork pie is far worse than replacing it with cheese. Then I realized that if the bride and groom cut into the top of the cake (isn't the top traditionally theirs to take home? do they prefer pork pie to cake?!) it would drip pork-pie-goodness on the real cake, ruining it!
Definitely detecting some Eurocentrism in these comments. America is the only country in the world that doesn't serve cheese with every meal? Are you kidding? Ever heard of China? India? Africa? South America?
Wrong on so many levels.
Wow... those literal cheese wedding cakes made me quite nauseated... Gross.
Why not just put out a stack of BLT's?
It's All Gouda!!
@msyendor:
Ah, yesss...gustatory perfection (with a fingers-to lips salute)--
MMMWAAHH!
Come--join R.O.C.K. C.H.E.E.S.E.
Bring the little family...
A good time is to be had by small.
=^--^=
At first, I was like "cheesecake for wedding cake isn't a bad idea," I had a cheesecake torte wedding cake, and people raved about it. I got a couple "are you going to serve the wedding cake, too, or are you just wrapping pieces to take home since you served this cake instead," and "wedding cake is supposed to be dry and yucky, this is amazing." But, then I saw the cheese cakes, and, well, no.
(FYI, the cheesecake torte was two layers of cake with a layer of cheesecake in the middle, and filling in between the cheesecake layer and the top and bottom cake layers. So, so good. We had some yellow cake with strawberries between the cake and cheesecake and marble cake with chocolate mousse between the cake and cheesecake. And...now I'm hungry. For cake.)
It's not a good sign when your wedding cake is indistinguishable from a wheel of parmesan. o.0
When my son was almost three my husband had a birhday. I asked hubby what kind of cake he would like. He answered that what really sounded good was a cheesecake. So I make a cheesecake and we stuck candles in it, sang happy birthday, etc.
Hubby loved it, but Jr. was unimpressed. He had never heard of cheesecake before this, but he was up for it, I mean, he liked cheese, and he loved cake... He was quite perturbed with the pie thing that we offered though, which was neither.
A few months later when it was time for little one's third birthday, I asked him what kind of cake he wanted. He made an awful face and said, "Not that kind Daddy had..."
(This has become one of our standard family stories. In fact last week when we were preparing for Jr.'s 25th birthday, my daughter and I were discussing the cake she planned to make. She was guessing he would want chocolate/chocolate, but of course one of us commented, "He just doesn't want that kind Daddy had!")
Look at that three layered cake..Cute..hehe ;D
Solo
Travel and Living
Job Hunt Pinoy
Isn't anything sacred anymore?
I'm another who finds the horror in some of the comments a little surprising -
If the bride & groom would rather have really good cheese, why not?
Someone mentioned left overs - I don't think there were necessarily be more left over cheese than leftover cake,but if there is, good cheese keeps well,and just gets better with age (and most cheeses taste better at room temp. than chilled, too,so having it sit out before cutting the cheese is not a problem)-
It's not for everyone, but there's nothing gross about it.
I admit that, as a European, theer is nothing odd to me at all about the idea of cheese at the end of the meal - either after or instead of dessert. (although you need good cheese for it to work, and in my experience that is much less readily availble in the US than it is in most of europe)
If you have traditional wedding cake (i.e. rich fruit cake) then you could combine the two - a nice mature white stilton + fruitcake (once you've peled off the marzipan) = heaven!
And Pork Pie - no gravy, no vegetables, no juice. If it is a decent pork pie it won't drip anything on to the cake below - the worst that might happen would be a few flakes of pastry. And the prok pie would also go very well with the cheese...
(pork pie link here )
I'm feeling hungry now.
One comment has made me lol "ew the cheese looks like its been sitting there for hours". Wow. From wikipedia: "A newborn cheese is usually salty yet bland in flavor and, for harder varieties, rubbery in texture. These qualities are sometimes enjoyed—cheese curds are eaten on their own—but normally cheeses are left to rest under carefully controlled conditions. This aging period (also called ripening, or, from the French, affinage) can last from a few days to several years."
"Oh So Scrumptious" cake at weddings is an American tradition that started with the pilgrims, according to some tradition websites.
Fruitcake at weddings is all I've ever known. It's why I hate cake at weddings.
Ok, I am obviously going to the wrong weddings. IF there is cake (and I say if because lately people have been cheaping out and not having cake) it usually ends up being some crummy dried out cake that I swear was sitting in the baker's freezer for the past 2 years and forgot about this order and quick thawed it out, or it was fruitcake. Yes people, they still make fruitcake wedding cakes. Just to make you regret that you didn't get them the cheapo dustbuster from the surplus store...you get fruitcake.....
Everyone here DOES realize that the cheese in cheesecake is cream cheese, not the kind you slice off and eat in a sandwich (or with some crackers)?
And what culinary school dropout would try to wreck a cheesecake? I understand a regular cake or even a cupcake, but a cheesecake?!
Hey, I've been complaining for years that the kiddies don't actually get proper wedding cake anymore - forget "cheese" cakes, anything that's not a rum-soaked fruitcake is not a real wedding cake (the fruit is in there to ensure the fertility of the union, and the rum is there to ensure that Great-Grandma is mellow all evening).
Well, okay, that last part is just made up. My Great-Grandma brought her own rum to the wedding. But the part about the fruitcake is all true.
Not all wedding cakes are dried out messes. Mine was AWESOME! It was moist and the frosting was a very yummy butter cream. Everyone loved it and people were lining up to take a slice home after they had a slice (big cake...didn't mind sharing).
I guess it's where you get the cake and how far in advance it was made. Mine was made fresh that morning so it was all good!
Even the top cake that was frozen and pulled out for our first anniversary was still yummy. It was surprisingly still moist and not all dried out.
@Kirsty who said "While I love cake as much as the next gal, when a friend got married she had a cake of cheese for the simple reason that her husband is severely diabetic, and thus cannot (sadly) eat cake."
The reception, where the cake is traditionally eaten, is held to "THANK YOUR GUESTS" for being a part of your day. It is customary to bestow them with your best food and/or wine and pastries. To deny all of your guests to have cake because the groom is diabetic is selfish and a total "in your face" denial of concern for the guests. The groom could have simply had one small portion made especially for him.
Someone asked which layer of the Cake/Cheese/Pork Pie combo the Pickle and Mustard would be used with. Pickle can go with either the cheese or the pork pie. The msutard would almost certainly be for the pork pie.
Pork pies do not contain any juice that would dribble out onto the lower layers, and I assume that the cheese layer is in the middle and would catch any crumbs of pastry that would fall from the upper layer.
Someone else mentioned eating fruit cake with cheese. That's pretty much the only way I can stand eating fruit cake. I'm going on a cake decorating course and they've said we have to bring a fruit cake along to decorate. The whole thing will be fed to my boyfriend. I certainly won't be touching it.
You know, though, most wedding cakes don't actually taste that good. They look like fancy frosted castles but they taste like Styrofoam, because the baker put all the effort into making it pretty and considerably less into making it delicious.
I say this from lots of experience - I've never had a slice of professional wedding cake that was actually good.
So I'll take the Camembert, thanks.
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See, if I WERE so inclined to serve a cheese-based course at my wedding :::small "snertch!" at the thought of ever doing THAT again:::...anyway, my cheese would be a simple wheel of sharp cheddar, accompanied by a very sharp knife. Next to the cheese: a large stack of fresh-baked, very good sourdough bread, a bowl of excellent brown mustard, and some sliced smoked ham. Next to THAT: a big electric griddle. Grilled ham and cheese for everyone...and dammit, CAKE for afters. Screw the dried-out chicken breast with rice pilaf that usually passes for wedding food--in fact, we can take it even farther, and have the soup course be a big bowl of Campbell's Tomato. (Hey, if I was to get married again, my friends and family would NEED some comfort food. Or SOMETHING comforting, anyway.)
wv: lugul. "The wedding guest made a loud hacking noise and said 'Eating all that cheese has given me a giant lugul.'"
Jen,you may have found yourself a really BIG challenge for Sunday Sweets, a superior Cheese"cake". Granted if you did find such a thing it might have to be Sunday Savories that week. :)
Okay, I've already posted that I am totally having a cheese "cake" at my wedding instead of yet another cake that people can make easily at home if they really want it . . . honestly, I can rarely afford good cheese, but cake is always within my price range. But anyway, I was looking over the post, and I can understand that the first couple of piles of cheesy goodness are ugly and worthy of being called wrecks on that basis, but can someone explain to me what is wrecky about that last one? It's beautifully displayed on a lovely little stand, they kept it nice and simple, and, well . . . it's just pretty. Is the so called "wreckiness" of it really based on the fact that it's cheese instead of cake? I just can't understand that, and I keep thinking there's something more that I'm missing.
Sorry, I meant to say cheese and pork pie. But still, can't see the wreckiness of it.
Ohhh, I love cheese! I've seen some really pretty Cheese cakes, as in cakes of cheese.
Yum! Wish I'd thought of it for my wedding.
I don't know ... I think I'd actually rather have a cheese "cake" at my wedding. I love cheese. In fact, Cake Wrecks forgive me, when I get married I might even do it!
This low carb nonsense has gone far enough!
the most horrifying thing to me? all the comments that say, "there's no point in a wedding if you don't have cake.. all i go for is the cake," etc.
silly me. i thought weddings were about celebrating a union. apparently, it's only about cake. that's really really sad.
i have been to several weddings with no cake. one for couple who was diabetic and would prefer not to have something at their weddign they couldn't eat, one for people who don't like cake (i personally have never tasted a wedding cake i liked. i DO like cake, but birthday and/or wedding cake always tastes like ass.) one was a medieval themes wedding,a nd pies were more in keeping.
i love cheese, and i'd much rather have cheese than cake. i understand the point of this blog is to point out "cake" wrecks... if they're not cake, it's not a cakewreck then, hm?
"weddings are for cake."
that's really really frickin' sad, people.
I actually had a cake made of cheese at my wedding, and everyone really enjoyed it. Of course, we had regular cake too, so that probably helped. You can see pictures at http://worthington-photography.com/blog/2009/05/jesse-jonathans-wedding-on-saturday-may-2nd/
Ew. ew. ew. Half the reason for a wedding is the cake, right?!
Actually that looks like my dream cake. Ummmhmm, I love me some cheese. Yum! I think if I ever get married I'll be going this route.
It certainly tastes better then 99% of all wedding cakes out there. Lasts longer, too, and if you have left overs and is more versatile. You can't make Welsh rarebit or pizza with cake!
Because you asked: Ham Cake!
Or, more correctly, Sushi Cake, courtesy of my Japanese language preschool. It's "chirashi sushi" or sushi toppings on rice. In this case chirashi sushi layer cake, sushi rice topped with sliced ham, crab, and egg with a layer of cucumber and veggies in the middle. Mmm mmm!
Oh, and my wedding cake was fantastic! It was this moist wonderful yellow cake with a layer of butter cream and fresh local raspberries. And pureed raspberries in the butter cream. No artificial color or flavors just %100 tart sweet silky joy. If at all possible marry a man who grew up next to a retired pastry chef.
Only five weeks to go till the anniversary cake...
Okay without reading others responses I'm going with cake at the bottom, Cheese in the middle and Pie at the top - Did I get it? Did I Huh Huh.
Now don't get me wrong I like cheese, A LOT, But honestly . . . I wonder if they worked for the Dairy Board. . .
Cheers Jen / Jem (nice cover for the typo slip btw) Come to Toronto on that tour of yours . . . you can even drive to get here.
JBex
What I think is even sadder than people saying they would leave the wedding with no real cake is that someone actually is taking that seriously and getting all upset over the idea that people are placing a larger importance on the cake than celebrating with the bride and groom. It's horrible when someone has their sense of humor removed. Tragic, really.
I can't agree with this post, Jen, I'm sorry. And that's a first for me.
I don't go to a wedding for cake. I don't think a cake is a reason for a wedding. And I'm amused so many people say those are their reasons. Don't you guys love your friends and family that you're celebrating their union? You gotta have a sweet-toothed reason? Tsk.
But anyway. What's wrong with an alternative in a wedding? Cheese isn't bad. A lot of people like cheese. A lot of people don't like cake. I don't find any issue with making cheese arrangements. Not at all.
I will say the examples you gave aren't exactly lovely. Frankly, they're a little scary. I don't think they should be pairing lovely ribbons with speckled cheese. It looks frightening.
But really? Don't bash the cheese. Bash the decorators.
And before anyone goes flaming me over *my opinion* in an *open commentary* blog, lemme say this. I'm not going to bother checking back to see if anyone's flailed at me over this.
The stack o' cheese cake is BRILLIANT. Here's why. When the "cake" is actually just cheese, they still have to serve dessert. Which is usually better than the subpar cake they hide under the average wedding day monstrosity.
And if your friends getting married have excellent taste (like my friends did) you get amazing, delicious cheese to eat AND a tasty dessert plate with three different, delicious cakes on it. All hail the cheese pile!
Cheese > Cake
I'm kinda a cheese groupie--last time we did a count, we had fifteen types of cheese in our fridge. Therefore, I approve, especially of the clever, prettified "cheese cake".
If people adore cheese but aren't that into cake, why not have a nice-looking cheese wedding cake?
Seriously, why do people still pretend that wedding cakes taste good? They don't. I'll take cheese any day over wedding cake.
OH MAH GAWD! That's SO wrong. Want a cheese course? FINE. But turn the dessert into cheese? EPIC fail.
My cousin had a cheesecake wedding cake - OMG, it was SO good. If you're ever out between Buffalo, NY, and Allegheny State Park, there's this blissful, delicious bakery called Butterwood Desserts ( http://southbend-24.pgzn.com/~cakeart/home.php ) Now THAT is how you do Cheesecake Wedding Cake. :D
I wonder if maybe the weddings that had the cheese towers had more elaborate, scrumptious OTHER desserts?? I know that at the wedding hall I worked at for 3 years, we had a few times when a bride wanted a creme brulee or a fruit tart served to the guests, and used either a "prop" cake with only a tiny amount of "real" cake to cut for pics, or wrapped up the "traditional" wedding cake for people to take home (which, fwiw, is a VERY southern tradition - you're supposed to place it under your pillow ad dream of your ow Mr. Right. ;) )
Wow. Not many of you from Quebec, I see. Pork pie may not be a standard wedding food (it's always been a Christmas morning breakfast for us) but it's definately a well-known and much loved food.
And that cheese-cake-pie tiered thing just determined me that if I ever get married, I will share the joy of pork pie with everybody.
Oh Americans make me giggle so much. "Oh yes, this is a well known tradition in Engloscotlandshire". No. No it is not. Someone just decided, of their own free will (remember that concept?) that they'd have a pie/cheese/cake ensemble. Quite smashing it looks too.
Pork pie is absolutely not hot, definitely not sausage-like, and wonderfully delicious.
Oh and our cheese is not like your 'Cheez Whiz' or those insipid burger slices made of plastic. We have a wide range of amazingly unique cheeses that would make any normal person's mouth water with trepidation. Whether in a sandwich, with crackers, on toast or enjoyed in alternating mouthfuls with a lovely fruit cake, it's irreplaceable.
Culture - get you some.
what can I say that others haven't said? nothing! they're all right. wedding cheese instead of wedding cake. It's a shame, I didn't even see crackers to go with the cheese!! or wine (like vintage or something)! what's up with that? (sorry i'm a little buzzed right now! mmm... moscato wine yummy)
i actually like the look of them!! i think they look rustic. i do prefer the taste of cake though.
pityacker....
humility - get you some.
My fiance doesn't like cake. In fact, he doesn't really like ANY desserts except for this stuff called Russian Cream and the occasional cookie. It's a trait he shares with most of his family. I do like dessert and I love cakes, so we're having one, but I really don't see what the problem with this concept is, aside from several of the above being poorly presented. Cheese is delicious!
now the question is: how many crackers do they need to serve with that 'cake'?
I worked as a waitress at big events when I lived in England, and those events included weddings. The cheese cake that's made of a bunch of layers of cheese? I thought/hoped/made mental prayer deals with whatever deity that listened that it was just a trend in England. Clearly not the case. Yikes.
Making it even worse, it was just... cheese. No bread. No crackers. Nothing to go with it. People lined up at the serving table to get a hunk of cheese. Failtastic.
I'm sorry but there's absolutely nothing wrong with cheese as opposed to cakes. It may be heresy to post this here but cheese is wonderful and not everybody has an incredibly sweet tooth - in fact, some people positively dislike sweet things (and those of you drawing in breath sharply might like to consider the state of your teeth). After all the rich food at a wedding, I'd be happy enough with a rich cheese board to finish. I wonder if your attitude has to do with the fact that American cheese is generally horrible? And, BTW, you go on about tradition but the tradition of cakes and all the silly fussiness you see at modern weddings is about a century or so old at best. Tradition my a***.
mmmm - that turned out snottier than I intended. Still in defense of cheese I must ride out. I usually really enjoy your blog too. Pax.
Hey guys,
I honestly have to wonder if you guys have any sense of humor at all.
john
at first I saw "wedding cheese cake wreck" and thought "WTF is wrong with a wedding cheesecake?"
then I saw the pictures.
I was all set to defend them, but ugh. stinky cheese? holy heck.
BTW, I had a "Cheesecake Wedding Cake". Honest to goodness sweet baked cheesecake. And got tonnes of compliments on doing it "different".
Er - the USA is not without it's fantastic non-whiz, non-"American-singles" cheese. And I love a good cheese. I just don't think it's dessert. LOL! More like, mmmm....a course BETWEEN dinner and dessert. drooool.
Oh - and cheese isn't always paired with bread or crackers. Fruit is a fantastic accompaniment as well. Well, and wine.
It's funny to see people who tell us "brash, brutish, crass" Americas to "get culture" while ironically being woefully undereducated about the culture in the USA.
Jen, Jen is sarcastic, ohhh Jen,
Jen is fantastic, ooohhhh
Squiggles and sprinkles
Frosting and flames
Jeeennn, the cake is outrageous, truly, truly, truly, outrageous
Whoa ohhh, it might be contagious, contagious,
Jen is her name, and cake is her game,
Jen is her name! Jen!
with that last pork pie one... I'm assuming that the pork pie was the top layer because it looks like pastry... so I wouldn't be keeping the top layer to eat on your 1st anniversary for luck... How romantic would it be to spend a night in the emergency room getting your stomach pumped??
Hahahaha, we had a 'cheese' cake at our wedding. We couldn't get rid of it, we ended up throwing most of it away there was so much!
A variety of cheeses at your wedding? Sure, go for it.
Stacked like a cake? Well, ok, if you must...
Instead of a cake? ... Are you insane?!?
Nom nom nom, cheese. Good cheese is so expensive, and so delicious -- I would totally go to those weddings just to have some! And fondant sounds gross, anyway. :P
THAT should be illegal. I hope the Bride & Groom were pelted with cheeseballs until bruised. I would SOOOO take my gift back.
Hmm.
Loathe though I am to disagree with your fabulously entertaining blog, I have to assert that, what with cheese being *the most amazing foodstuff in the world*, there is nothing wrong with having a tastefully selected an arranged 'tier of cheeses'-type setup for one's wedding.
Some of the pictured ones are reet ugly though, I'll give you thatmuch.
Easily some of the most delicious cakes I've seen on this blog :D
There is a tradition that the 'single ladies' at the wedding sleep with a slice of cake under their pillow to dream of their future husband.
Sleeping with cake under pillow = romantic.
Sleeping with cheese under pillow = revolting at best...
Anyone else think the groom figure on the first cheese wheel cake looks a bit like a 70's Elton John? sideburns, glasses...? No?
Everybody who's so down on the cheese wheels should hope the couple tries to order their cake from National Cheese Emporium. (google it if you don't get it)
I'm not a huge cheese fan, but I wouldn't throw a hissy if that's what my beloved family member or friend chose for their special day, I would simply politely decline to partake. I really can't believe the shallowness of some people on here, making it about themselves or material issues. If you're being sarcastic, it's far from obvious.
(I'm an American, FWIW)
WV: juduc. What a Hebrew does when you throw a cheese wheel at him (or her)
I'm sure plenty of people have already said this, but I freakin' love cheese. I think that's a really cute idea - though I agree that the aesthetic of these particular "cheese....cakes" leaves much to be desired.
I would recommend doing a cheese....cake with kind of a rustic theme...maybe put a basket on the bottom, and rather than trying to doll it up and cute-i-fy it, just put some grapes and grape leaves, and on top, two baby pears. (Get it? The perfect.............PEAR.) OH SNAP, it's two - two- two puns in one!
Nasty. I can almost smell those cakes from here. Too funky for me. ;) xx
I'm sure there is still dessert at these weddings. If I ever had a big showy wedding, I want would have a cake made of cheese, and lots of pies and chocolate and ice cream for dessert!
maybe next to my amazing cake made of cheese, I'll put a fruitcake covered in fondant with the words "obligatory wedding cake" piped on, just to make everyone happy. of course there would still be a real desert. maybe creme brulee?