Monday, June 22, 2009

Father's Day Wrap-Up

Monday, June 22, 2009

Ok, last Dad's Day post, I promise. (But keep in mind that crossing my fingers behind my back nullifies any and all aforementioned promises.)

Yesterday fathers across the globe were given heartfelt messages from their children.
Messages like, "Aren't you glad you put me through college?"

(And if ever there was an icing color that should be banned, "radioactive vomit green" should be it.)


And, "Penmanship isn't everything."

(I saw "Doty" for a solid 30 seconds before realizing that's a wonky capital "A".)

Or, "Are you getting enough fiber?"

Eww.

Then there are the less complimentary messages, though I'm sure they were just as heartfelt. Really.

Like, "You dress like a clown. And not even a funny one."


Or, "I can't even bring myself to call you 'Dad'."


I think this one is "Squint your eyes and it could almost be golf-related, Grandpa."

(Get it? "Grandpa?" 'Cuz it says "Father's Dad"?
Ah, you're no fun at all.)


I guess a lot of people were hoping for "happy father dads":


And finally there's the classic backhanded compliment: "You're #1...

"...at beating orange bunnies with a baseball bat.*"


Vanessa B., Shylah E., Jujyfruit, Amanda L., Mary F., Lauren C., & Bekka T., I hear that's the most sportsmanlike way to go.


* Yes, I know it's supposed to be a fish. So don't go pulling a "Spaceship Earth" on me, hear?
Fluffy Cow said...

Father's Dad and bunnies. My day is complete. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

The "Deputy Daddy" plastic thingy on the "Your the Bestest" just puts that one over the top IMHO. Usually every successive wreck manages to top the previous, but today you started with the best. OK, the orange bunny meets baseball bat is pretty close.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

"(I saw "Doty" for a solid 30 seconds before realizing that's a wonky capital "A".)"

Sadly, I didn't realize what was going on there until you spelled it out for me...

Judy said...

Okay cake #7....WHAT IS THAT????? The last one is a fish on a fishing rod line but I think your baseball bat with orange bunnies sounds much funnier. :D

Judy said...

Happy Fathers Day. Here's your poop cupcake. No not a whole poop cake. We wanted it to be special...individually sized...just for you...cuz we L-u-u-u-u-v You! :D

Molly C said...

That is not a fish. it is a squat, deformed penis! which basically tells us that dad is really good at.... beating the... (yeah you get what I'm saying right?)

Angie said...

I still can't believe that bakeries try to get by selling things like this... surely the wreckporters were like me & just took pictures at the store/bakery they saw them in & didn't actually pay money for them. Yikes.

And I think it looks more like a bunny than a fish, too.

Anonymous said...

Those brown blobs......gross... what were they suppose to be?? The needing more fiber definitely explains what they really look like!

And... is that Bert's shirt?? I guess Bert kinda was the Dad to Ernie....

Suzy said...

beating orange bunnies- LOL

Anonymous said...

Oh.. Molly C... YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

kjl said...

Uh, the 4th pic kind of made me throw up a little. Were those supposed to look like big piles of dog poo?

Anonymous said...

I saw a golf club about to hammer a fish - at least, until I saw the "fishing line".

Happy belated Farther Salters Dades! :)

CorningNY said...

Molly C--
Thanks for a long laugh to get my day going!

What the heck is that poo pile cake really supposed to be?

WV-- porec As is, that is one porec of a cake.

teacher lady said...

Did the same bakery wreck all those chocolate chip cookie cakes? And was I supposed to know that my dad and husband would want a CCCC- "the official dessert wreck of Farthers' Dad."

Anonymous said...

Note to self:
Never (ever) airbrush a cookie. More specifically, never airbrush grass onto a cookie. Failure to follow these instructions will cause said cookie to be very moldy looking and unedible.
Love,
Me

wv: ousnost- One ousnost serve moldy cookie to their guests.

Becky

Buffy said...

It's hard to drink my coffee when I'm giggling uncontrollably.

Anonymous said...

Even after studying it, Cake #8, the orange one, looks likes "Happy Fatter Dad" to me.

And the "Doty" cake also appears to say "fatten" or "fatter"

"Happy Fatten Doty" ? I'll take it!

Lily

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Thanks for the morning funny. Father's day may be over, but it's not forgotten.

laura said...

Jen, tsk tsk tsk. *Shakes head* I cannot believe you didn't see the plastic tie on that shirt! *Sigh*

Brittany said...

Cake Wrecks has inspired me to make my dad a cake that is beyond my abilities for his birthday... I think I will make a baseball stadium... with plastic ballplayers... and an oversized ball... and perhaps something that resembles an orange bunny hopping on the field... and I will write Happy Birther's Dad, Day....

Erin said...

I would have forever read doty if you hadn't pointed it out what it was supposed to be.

Shay said...

What is up with all the father's day cookie cakes?! What, dad's don't deserve real cakes? awww

stephanie j. said...

Dad isn't even the Sheriff - he's the DEPUTY.

Amy said...

Too funny! Great laugh for the morning, when I really needed it.

~Amy B.

Ms Avery said...

But why is the fish emitting a trail of white smoke?

emillee said...

I am so lost on the golf cookie/cake. What are the blue lines supposed to be?

Anonymous said...

I think the bunny looks more like a gold fish.

nin

Marji said...

I'm glad you told me it was supposed to be a fish. I was completely stumped. The green one still has me confused. I can't even see a resemblance to golf!

Pam said...

I got it, I got it! The Father's Dad thing, that is. hee hee. Thanks for the giggles everyday.

Morgan the Muse said...

but still, why a baseball bat and a fish?!?

HorribleLicensePlates said...

That Father's Dad cake is so funny. What is going on there??

Anne said...

I'm sure this is going to have been pointed out at least six times by posters in between the last time comments were put through and the time mine is, but I'm puzzled by the last one. It's been a while since I've gone fishing, but shouldn't the line come from the top of the fishing pole, not the bottom? Unless there's a new type of fishing poles I don't know about where you put the line underwater and hold the pole by the top.

3CrazyBoys said...

My three year old said, "What is that? Is that a spider web cake? I have never seen a spider web cake before." LOL I guess the golf theory is a bit of a stretch for him too.

Alpha Chick said...

cracking up at those cakes was a good way to start my day.

Judy said...

@Anne: The rod is poorly drawn but not upside down. The black dot on it is supposed to be the reel

Pendant said...

I love how the "golfing" cookie-cake looks like it was covered in green frosting and then had it scraped off for a do-over. So now the whole thing looks like it's covered in a thin layer of mold!

Belle Epoque said...

Those cakes are all ugly...but as long as they taste good, who cares!

Anonymous said...

I actually assumed the so-called "golf" cake is supposed to be a sailboat, and the blue lines roughly represent the sail. What that white line with the triangular thing is is beyond me. Maybe an oar (not usually used in a sailboat, I admit, but the whole cake has me stumped)?

--Lisa

Jessica said...

I also thought the Deputy Daddy thing made it even worse and also didnt see 'DAy' - cifined but I thought it said 'Daty'

Nicole said...

Ok so i totally love the color scheme on the first one...yeah that gree will probably make some crazy poop the next day, but i liked it!!

The beating bunnies thing cracked the the H up!!

Nathaniel and Emily said...

Lmao at the beating orange bunnies crack.

Lindsay said...

okay, so the "golf" one...
definitely looks as though someone iced half of it green (for grass, i guess) and the other half blue (resembling a sky?) and then decided to try another route, so they scraped ALL of that icing off, leaving behind traces of blue and green soaked into the cookie.
and then re-iced it to resemble something unknown to anyone but the actual wreckerator themselves.

anyone agree?

MzHartz said...

Really, can someone explain the golf cake to me? I'm still not seeing it.

And if you hadn't explained Doty, I wouldn't have seen that it was supposed to be DAY either.

Mrs B. said...

"Happy Father's Dad" indeed! That's one glad grandpa! Ugh...they never cease to amaze me...

woodburner said...

Well I certainly didn't realize it was a fish! Beating bunnies with bats was my first guess! ...I didn't realize that was supposed to be an "a", either...

denisewalks said...

Nothing says I love you Dad more than a poop cupcake (wince)

Carolyn said...

Oh! It's supposed to be a fishing rod.

That whole image of orange bunnies and baseball bats had thrown me for a loop so I couldn't see it.

WV is "Jusses." Jusses is served when wrecky cakes get displayed on Cake Wrecks so we may all mock them.

Cory said...

why do they make the frosting look like poop?? don't they know it looks like poop!!!!????? this i will never understand.

~ L. K. said...

I love the two last ones. They're note very representative of anything. This "golf" related one must be an ugly sailboat in an extremely algae infested pond. The bunny one is, as you said, a fishing rod and oddly shaped fish. I wonder if people need to learn more about boats and tackle?

I deeply enjoy the poop cakes.

Jade said...

You made me laugh out loud at work! Thanks I needed that...

jackie31337 said...

That's the most abstract golf cake I've ever seen. I can kind of see disjointed elements of golf in it... allusions to grass, golf clubs, even a semblance of horrible plaid pants. Was it by any chance made by the same wreckerator as the mystery grill/UFO?

WV: mugis. Oh yeah? The cake may be a wreck, but it's still not as ugly as your mugis!

Princesse said...

I have some cakes to show you! Where should I send them?

Judy said...

@belle epoque:

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that ARE concerned with how their food looks and as such we will pay for people to make it look good. So when we put our money down and they don't come across with nice looking food...well, simply put..we Do Care!

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who noticed that "You're" is spelled wrong both times in the first two cakes..."Your" and "You'r"...it's "You're"!

Anonymous said...

I totally saw "Doty" too, and it hurt my brain trying to figure out why it would say that :-P

Etiquette Bitch said...

I'm thinking the last CW is a goldfish blowing white air while golfing?

wrecktastic and hilarious. thanks!

Jacq Cooks said...

OK, I had to study the golf cake carefully but finally realized the big round white thing in the "sky" (as opposed to the sorta-round things which I think are clouds) is a golf ball...the blue lines are the trajectory of the ball into the small black hole. It's a bit like a Magic Eye picture but if you squint and stare long enough...you might just get it!

Jacq Cooks!

Anonymous said...

I *think* the maker of the golf cake/cookie was trying to shoe the ball in motion, going toward the hole. They failed miserably, but I believe that is the reason for the blue and white lines.

Becky

wv: readm - yeah, the instructions the customer leaves for the cake......the decorator should readm.

evil cake lady said...

WHY are people feeling the need to frost a COOKIE?

i just don't understand.

Ali said...

Ali in Exeter...

What's with the Fathers'Day poohs???

Is that like "Dad, i hate you, but here's a cake anyway..."

Bearing in mind it probably tastes OK, is that such an insult?

sunlizzard said...

I've given up on the "golf" cake (no, I can't figure out the blue lines either) and moved on to trying to make out what else is going on in the next Happy Father Dad cake.

What I'm seeing? A mutant-radiation-green centipede on the left, and on the right, the edge of the shoe that's trying to stomp on it. Charming....

Lisa said...

No, no, no!

The green one has nothing to do with golf - it's a radar screen! See the little radar arm and the curvy echo lines?

Katie H. said...

On the golf cookie catastrophe, I was thinking the ball in the sky was a white sun and the lines was to show the flag pole thing moving in the wind. That was the only explanation that I could come up with. However, thanks to Jacq Cooks I can see another perspective. Bad execution. And the discoloration in the background is gross and I love cookie cakes!

Katrina said...

Ok - I've thought about the golf cake for a REALLY long time...and then went away and came back to it again!

Here's the final verdict - The white ball is the golf ball which is going TOWARD the black hole. the blue and white radar grid was supposed to show the movement of the ball, but it's going the wrong way. (I know it's a stretch, but I have NO other clue about the blue netting.)

Irma said...

Not in 1000 years would I have realized "doty" was actually "dAy" if you hadn't told me.

Christa said...

ok so the "golf" one. I was like "Golf? what?!" Then I turned my head to the side, reverted my brain back a couple decades and said "OOOOOHHHHHHH. I see it...sadly. But why did they do that?"
And I also saw Doty until I read your commentary. Then it all made sense.

Rebecca F. said...

Thank goodness you told me that it was a capital "A" in Doty because I stared at the picture for a looong time before I read your commentary and I hadn't gotten it at all....

Bree said...

The last cake's artwork is so lousy, I first wondered why someone drew a microphone next to a Pepperidge Farm goldfish before realizing it's a fishing rod.

On the moldy sailboat/golf cake, I thought it said "Happy Father's Dead." Considering the yucky color scheme, I'm sure any zombie dad out there would love it.

Sissy said...

About the "World's Greatest Day" cake, in my mind, I saw GAY+DAD= "Day" So maybe it was saying World's Greatest Gay Dad? (No? Just me?)

StudentNurse said...

Okay, is it just me, or does the "fishing rod" in the last cake look like Bob Barker's microphone?

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sunlizzard... I would LOVE to see the whole cake #8- the green centipede thing, the mutant airbrushing... there's SO much more going on than Happy father Dad.

colleenoz said...

I couldn't work out why the goldfish had...er...snot coming out of his nose (worked over by the baseball bat?) until I realised the baseball bat was supposed to be a fishing rod (with a curious pink dot on the end and a green dot next to it- huh?).
WV: "anold"- the golf cookie was anold one they tried to jazz up (spectacularly unscuccessfully, I would say)...

You're Dad said...

Hey! I was proud to be named Deputy Daddy. I'm thinking I should have a word with the Sheriff, though

Mia said...

I'm so glad my cake got posted (the first one)!! I still can't decide what I like most - "your" instead of "you're", "bestest," or the deputy daddy thing.
You wouldn't know it, but it actually had a clip on it so my dad wore it after that.
Great stuff.

Miz Dinah said...

Nothing says Happy Falker Satherhood like a giant man-turd cake. Mm-mm.

Genevieve said...

I think the last one is a fishing pole.

Anonymous said...

a) I also saw doty

b) It seems like there are a lot of "cookie-cakes" in the father's day theme... more than any other holiday. Poor Dad, doesn't even merit a whole cake.

DangGina said...

Cake #3 DOES say "Doty." Had to read your caption and then squint to see it any other way. Just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

I looked and looked at the "golf" cake, and what I came up with was the black line is a sprinkler, and the blue curved lines coming up from it are meant to represent water coming out of the sprinkler. In other words, Dad is only good for watering the lawn.

The Fiskeaux Family said...

My husband's Father's Doty gift was getting to read your blog.

Unthinkably-Preposterous said...

Bakeries should send their employees to a basic spelling and grammar course, maybe then there wouldn't be so many screw ups! At least it all tastes the same, right?

Mamawheelie said...

Seriously? I totally didn't see "DAy" until I read your comment about the "ot" I kept seeing as a "wonky capital 'A'". *laugh*

(P.S. My CAPTCHA is "cocare". I'm not quite sure what it's trying to insinuate...)

Jersey Girl in Louisiana said...

Wow. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Seriously, made my day, so thanks.

Jujyfruit said...

The crapcakes were very disturbing in person -- they glistened with an icky "freshness" that made me think there should be steam rising and flies buzzing under that plastic dome! Eww!

I'm rather partial to "World's Greatest Day" -- so versatile, eh? ;)

btw - my captcha is "triede". They really did, didn't they?

lemur said...

I really couldn't figure out what a ballpeen hammer and a goldfish spitting some white stuff on the cake had to do with each other or father's day. Thank you for explaining it is actually about beating bunnies. :)

Cupcakes Lady said...

Ha Too funny! Great laugh just when I really needed it. Class as always. xx