Yeah, yeah, guys, I get it: you want your cake to show some personality, reflect your interests, and ideally gross-out the in-laws. But really, a giant dead animal on your wedding day? Really? This must be another time when my plumbing prevents me from grasping the intricacies of the male mind.At least this one's still showing some signs of life:
Well, as much as the baker, anyway. (Ah, candid photos, how we loathe thee.)Oh no, but look! He's sinking into the Swamps of Sadness! Fight against the sadness, Artax! Don't let it get to you! Just because you're about to be carved up and served on camouflage-print paper plates is no reason to get all down in the dumps! Artaaaaax!!
[sniffle] Sorry. I hate that part of the movie.
Ok, where were we? Oh, right, at the economy section:
Sure, it doesn't feed many people, but then no one will want to eat it anyway. See? A win-win. Plus, mad props to the garnisher; those green spriggy bits are really classing the joint up.Of course if we've learned anything here on CW, it's that a green & purple party hat can make everything allll better:
Like so.
I know we shouldn't look a gift deer in the mouth, but those buck teeth* are cracking me up. I can almost hear him saying, "Gawrsh! Why don't you carve yourself a slice? Ahuck!"
Still, I'll take goofy over spooky any day. And I'm not sure there's a chipper enough party hat in all the world to uncreepify this guy:
Sure, he's smiling, but that smile never quite reaches his eyes, you know? And he won't stop staring, like he knows something I don't.Hey, you lookin' at me, punk? Yeah? Well quit your smirking, or I'll break your antlers off!
Oh, I'm sorry; I see someone already did. Huh. That had to hurt. Well, never mind.
Lauren S., Laura M., Erin C., Kaylee K., & Anony M. you sure know how to rack 'em.
*Get it? "Buck" teeth? Hah, that was the crowning touch, wasn't it?
Related Wreckage: You Say 'Redneck' Like it's a Bad Thing
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104 comments | Post a Comment
The eyes! The eyes!!!!
Awww Artax! That part always makes me cry too :(
"Oh deer..." That was brilliant. That last one though is going to seriously haunt my dreams, I want to unsee it, Jen..
Huge props to you for the Neverending Story quotage. :-D That part was way worse in the book because Artax could talk (?!) and was basically begging Atreyu to turn away so he wouldn't see his final moments. *weeps*
As for the deer cakes I'm mildly alarmed because I almost think my husband would like some of these. He sent me a picture of the camo he/shemale deer cake from this very blog not realizing I read it every day and said, "Here's an idea for a cake for you to do sometime." Thank god I'm not skilfull enough to sculpt cakes so I probably won't have to worry about him suggesting one of these.
A cake. With a dead deer. And lights?!?!? And extra random antlers off to the side like we've finally found the buck graveyard of lore. Lights?!?!? Why are there lights?
wv: restica. Where are the restica deer? Already eaten by the groomsmen?
#2 (aka Artax) is actually pretty well done, I like the cartoonish shaping of his head, but his antlers are way too realistic... I hope they aren't actually real. No one in their right mind would put real antlers on a cake, right?
Shhhh....that last deer...(hiding behind closet door)...he's watching us!
~Amy B.
Party hat deer = guffaw
Looks like some reindeer games going on here!
Daily Gif Blog
DB
Dear God. . . all I can say is, "I'm sorry" for what's happened to the woodland creatures.
Everything can be improved by a party hat!
Try putting one on some of those pregnant bellies instead.
I can't believe that scene is linked on youtube. I refused to watch it.
creepy and sad. no way could i eat deer cake...even if it was a creepy, airbrushed-eyes cake. too sad. too...uck. just uck.
Brilliant Cake Wrecks post Jen! It made me laugh out loud and cry (Artaaaaax!) and laugh out loud in rapid succession.
Why is that last deer so... blurry? Is it just me? It looks like one of those blurred pictures to protect the innocent.
I love it! Well, it made me cry too but I love that you quoted Never Ending Story :) yeah, made my day.
-Kat
Seriously...seriously disturbing.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Maybe that first one is a bride's cake, because that's a mighty girly arrow sticking out.
Antlers by themselves are sheds. Deer lose their antlers every year, and all hunters get excited to find the sheds, especially of a big buck.
Topical! Surely someone will have one made & sent to Matt Lauer today.
http://www.newsday.com/iphone/ny-libike0324,0,7760448.story
I wish they could have somehow incorporated those singing deer head wall ornament things.
Since I'm marrying a vegan, does that mean I can expect a sad, dead looking carrot cake?
I am a hunter and female and still don't get these cakes! Also did anyone notice the head (3rd one down) seems to have to right antlers... ? Extra 'special' ;)
Eww. Repeatedly. Ad nauseum.
Leslie: You could always make one out of cupcakes... HAR!
Giggle at alouette.
And another brilliant post, Jen! I'm writing a check to the Wildlife Foundation with my other hand as I type...
Those festive greens would go over well with my guinea pigs. Not sure if everyone wants dill/anise/fennel all over their deer cake though.
The Swamps of Sadness!
You know, sometimes I wonder if I subscribe to the blog for the bizarre cakes or for the slightly non sequitur 80s pop culture references. I wonder the same thing about watching Psych.
These are absolutely hilarious and gross at the same time. It's like those horrible deer heads on walls...always staring. They seriously creep me out, as do these cakes.
I hate that part of the movie, too...every time I think of him sinking I get so depressed. I will never get that scene out of my mind...arghh...
I thought this was kinda neat the first time I saw it on Ace of Cakes. But now? *shudder*
Ghost Deer is gonna haunt my dreams, I swear.
That last one just needs black buttons for eyes to really work wonders on the subconscious.
These could be a get out of jail cakes for this poor guy who decided it would be smart to bolt and epoxy antlers onto a doe he shot...
http://www.caller.com/news/2009/mar/16/hunter-busted-bolting-antlers-dead-doe/
hysterical! Sick, but hysterical none-the-less.
SWAMPS OF SADNESSS!!!! OOOHHHHHHH!!! It is to laugh! Still laughing!
What is the deal with groom cakes? Isn't one cake enough at a wedding? I'm so glad they are not popular where I live cos they seem kinda stupid.
The lights around the dead deer cake confuse and frighten me.
I *hate* that part of the movie too!! It is really traumatic to a little girl!
I was cruising through these cakes muttering about the stupidity of dead deer at a wedding--what a joyous symbol of "twue love"*--and then I got to His Toothiness. I thought it's a cross species wedding--a deer and a rabbit. It makes as much sense as dead deer groom cakes.
*I have seen one movie here.
I don't know which is worse:
the fact that I'm now having sad flashbacks about that scene in The Neverending Story, or that I can't get that creepy deer face out of my head. Ew. Scares me on so many levels. Those EYES!!
Well, the first cake is *obviously* a deer caught in the headlights, and it *is* a groom's cake...are you seeing the connection?
As for the party hat deer, I kind of love him.
Most of those deer cakes are hideous, but the huge one that showed the baker looked to be executed quite beautifully....I don't think it should count as a wreck :/
LOVE the springy floral touch of whimsy on that last one. Death meets Life. How Ironic.
I fear the desire for a deer groom's cake is much more insidious and Freudian than just grossing out the in-laws or whomever...
Men are sooo transparent and they don't even know it!
(No - you don't want to think about it too hard...chuckle - argh)
Aww, Neverending Story reference FTW!
That was the first time I ever cried at a movie.... then the luck dragon came into the movie and I thought he was a flying clod of dryer lint. That pretty much cured my sadness.
i'm fairly sure the horse actually died when they filmed that scene
wow that really gave me a warm fuzzy feeling in side. I think I'm going to watch bambi
oh the things we miss
thingswemiss.blogspot.com
That last deer isn't Bambi, it's Zombie. It'll be getting up any moment now and start eating the guests.
From laughter to sadness and back to laughter. This post is like one, long emotional rollercoaster. And Bucky the Toothy One had me going "Bahahahahha" and "WTF is wrong this picture?" at the same time.
Look at how different in style the ears are from the rest of the cake on the last one. Clearly this isn't a cakewreck, it's the perfect cake for a fan of Photoshop Disasters!
Men are so weird! I am married to one and I don't even PRETEND to understand him! hehehe...
And I agree with someone else who posted..I am glad I can't do cakes this well because my husband would LOVE one of those crazy deer cakes..gah!
Good grief. What's next, a roadkill cake?
I'd like a possum one, please. :P
um, i hate to point this out, but that baker... well, um... he looks like he's doing something.. um, well let's just say DIRTY... to that poor deer... just sayin'
reminds me of that old Sex Pistols song.... "Who Killed Bambi?"!
The last one reminds me of the Queens of the Stone Age video No One Knows where the deer gets revenge.
Thank you so much for the Neverending Story reference, it made my day, though Artax was a horse. I'm sure you knew that. :-)
I almost peed myself when I saw that 'buck teeth' cake! OMG, was that EVER funny!!
You know, party animal buck teeth Bambi (or was it Bambi and Thumper's love child) at least made me laugh. Just goes to show there is no accounting for taste.
The dead dear surrounded by the UFO lights just too spooky.
Well then, this 'un jes' works real good w/ this pa'tickla post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnJfV5xnym4
"He's daid. Now whut?"
i'm fairly sure the horse actually died when they filmed that scene
Did it, Cupcake Kitten? Do you have a link? I doubt the horse actor actually died, because the poor kid is crying "Don't die, Artax!", and the horse is like "Yeah, whatever."
so glad to see that "my" deer made it...submission #2.
It was, in fact a cake made by Publix, and it was a groom's cake...sort of - used on the evening of the wedding rehearsal. Still, it's the best looking of the lot!
This post reminded me of "Dear Deer" by Kate Mucucci.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/fc30eda5b5/dear-deer-kate-micucci-from-katemicucci
Great cute/funny song/video!
The 3rd one down looks like a deer wandered into the party and got its head stuck in a hole in the table...
ACK!! Wow, I am really surprised that anyone would think that those would pass as acceptable cakes. Would make any child, or adult for that matter, frightened of bambi.
I would take a carrot riding baby over these any day!
DeeDee
http://small-budget.blogspot.com/
I always cried when Artax came back at the end, too. And I really wanted to hug that rock guy...
Love the buck teeth...at least you can laugh at that one. The one with the dead eyes is just creepy and I'd have to seriously rethink my friendship (or marriage if that was a groom's cake!!) to the fellow who thought that was a good idea.
@Kate;
That ingenious incident happened right here in MY state! It was all OVER the news. It wasn't much of a surprise, though--
I done heerd tell of some purty odd folks!
(No, the film Deliverance wasn't filmed "right cheer", but sometimes I think it could've been.)
What I really got a boot out of was THIS (from the newspaper)--
what an OFFICIAL from Fish and Wildlife had to say about the fake deer antlers:
"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural," he said.
Kinda says it all.
>^uu^<
"Gawrsh! Why don't you carve yourself a slice? Ahuck!"
*********************************
I can actually HEAR this being said out loud so clearly in my head that it makes all of my nerves GIGGLE--like being tickled!!! Good ole "Bucky"! And he looks so happy to be there! Even though he's DEAD--what a sport!
Got a question, though, about little No-Neck there on the salad bar...what the heck is that silvery-looking thing off to the left, pointing at the deer departed like a sort of weapon?
Really odd. Maybe a part of another masterpiece? Also, it almost looks like someone stole the little rounded ears off a kid's teddy bear to stick on the deer head. (Maybe that dude from Vt.)
Otherwise it's perfectly so-so.
@kara, I reeeeeeeallly want a Big Mouth Billy Bass cake now... and even though I hate all of the dead deer cakes and would not have one at my wedding, I'm not joking about that.
ick..they all remind me of the three dead deer we saw on the highway last week.
Please tell me why the buck-toothed deer is on top of such a nicely decorated cake? And please, tell me why the last deer is making me sea sick? *sigh*
i haaaate that scene. i love that movie but i haaate that scene. i bawl everytime like a damn baby.
Neverending Story reference = super awesome win <3
Dude. Creepy. How dorkish does it make me that I totally knew you were referring to the Neverending Story?
Aaah! That last one! It's burned its way into my very soul. I'm pretty sure if I was at that wedding/party and saw it in person, the reaction would only be stronger.
Haha...before I knew of Cake Wrecks I went to a wedding when I was 18 where the couple had several sheet cakes that you get from the grocery store with two green army men shooting at two deer, with one on its side with a pile of blood red icing next to it. I wish I got a picture. But "redneck" isn't such a bad thing I guess. :)
Also, my captcha word is "fracker." I thought you should know.
That last deer is really creepin' me out!
tina
-dry heave-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
OH WHY, GOD, WHY!?! BAMBIIIII!!!!!
I am sending you my Kleenex bill, Jen.
I <3 this blog a little more because you referenced one of my favourite movies.
On that third one, I don't know what this is sticking out of the left side of the picture, but the poor deer looks terrified of it.
Why is it that groom's cakes always get to show personality and character - I don't mean these specifically - while the "bride's" wedding cake is usually so generic that it's more or less the elevator music equivalent of cake?
@alouette. Yup, a sad, dead carrot... with a naked baby mohican jockey on top!
Looks like Wedding Cakes I have seen on "my Redneck Wedding" on CMT. I live in South Georgia and know some rednecks, used in the most lovely way, that would not find a darn thing wrong with not one of those cakes. I agree about the one Punk Deer staring, like a dear in the headlights or caught while drunk kids dear shile! Thanks for making my day with a giggle!
Man! Do those lights in the 1st one ever add some PIZZAZZ!!! It looks like it's in a last rites ceremony with fire flies. And you gotta love the bamboo skewer..ahem..arrow protruding from it's side.
The large specimen is done well enough, but it looks like it's slowing sinking into quicksand. By the time the dinner is over, there will only be the tips of the antlers visible!
The absolute BEST one is the bucky the party hat wearin' fella. He seriously made me lmao. I could totally consume some of him...the others, not so much. I have a hard time eating anything that STARES at me.
When I saw that part of TNES as a little kid, I hid behind my couch and cried like a baby.
It made me sad just to click on that link. I relived the sadness all over again.
But these cakes are even worse!
I salute your punnery. I mean, wow.
Speaking of terribly nerdy pop culture references, Mr. Airbrushed Eyes reminds me of the human-faced deer spirit from the movie Princess Mononoke. Whatever you do, don't cut off his head... you'll be real sorry!
And gah, dill on a cake? That violates the first rule of garnishes right there - never put a savory garnish on something sweet!
Awful deer cakes...although hunters would be amused.
Thanks for the Neverending Story reference. It made my day! Now all we need is a Valcor the Luck Dragon cake!
#2...candid photos indeed! LOL
#3...I'd be the one looking for the body UNDER the table!
So hilarious.
I'm under the distinct impression that you do not know the definition of "candid". It means "honest". Really now, have you not encountered that word outside of TV show titles?
Dearest LT,
Once in a great while, someone is astute enough to catch one of the incredibly rare mistakes that Jen makes in grammar or spelling. Sadly, today is not one of those times.
Candid: Adjective (of a photograph of a person) taken informally, esp. without the subject's knowledge.
OOOOOHHH SORRY.
Jen-1
LT-0
Better luck next time,
john
I could never work out how they got the horse playing Artax to stand neck deep in a puddle of mud and look sad. Surely most horses would be looking pretty darn worried, and trying to get out of the mud...
Oh, and at least they're going for ungulates which are reasonably common and not *terribly* cute. It would be a shame if they made a cake out of a pudu or a dik-dik.
Are those Christmas lights on that first cake? Wow.
a hunters dream cake.The Society to Save Endangered Species was formed by Fred Smilek and two of his colleagues; Charlie Mack & Jonathan Korny. Fred Smilek stays active in raising awareness for this cause. [www.fredjsmilek.com]
"Plus, mad props to the garnisher; those green spriggy bits are really classing the joint up."
You mean sprucing the joint up? ;) ;)
Is that photoshopped? cause the branches and the antlers, ect. look a lot better focused then the body. Don't get me wrong, I love cake wrecks, but I believe you have been duped.
I do have to say... it makes sense to have stag cakes at a stag party. Which is what bachelor parties are also known as. Even more sense to have dead deer. Which represent the end of bachelorhood.
Still creepy, but with reason.
Thank goodness you didn't find mine! LOL Unlike the swamp sinking one, mine was buried in the bushes. Great finds as always!
Oh no......Artax.....that part makes me cry =[
Aren't these simply the continuation of an ancient literary tradition, courtship being likened to the pursuit of the female deer by the male hunter? As in Wyatt...
Whoso list to hunt ? I know where is an
hind !
But as for me, alas ! I may no more,
The vain travail hath wearied me so sore ;
I am of them that furthest come behind.
Yet may I by no means my wearied mind
Draw from the deer ; but as she fleeth afore
Fainting I follow ; I leave off therefore,
Since in a net I seek to hold the wind.
Who list her hunt, I put him out of doubt
As well as I, may spend his time in vain !
And graven with diamonds in letters plain,
There is written her fair neck round about ;
' Noli me tangere ; for Cæsar's I am,
And wild for to hold, though I seem tame.
I had to leave my desk and retire to the restroom because the buck tooth one made me absolutely hysterical!!! My co-workers thought something bad had happened. If only they understood how good it was......
I have a question... can you eat something that is looking at you?
it's just creepy
"Since I'm marrying a vegan, does that mean I can expect a sad, dead looking carrot cake?" - great comment. xx
funny thing is my classmate is going to deer hunting (in tx it's huntin' :P)
wv: clogies=a pet name for clogs :P