Saturday, December 27, 2008

Goy Gaffes

Saturday, December 27, 2008

(Ok, so the assumption that these were NOT made by Jews is a leap, I know, but can't a girl hope?)

"A Star is (Not) Born"

Yes, technically a Star of David is two triangles intersecting, Bugsy - but not like this. And I think you can lay off the "poiple" icing now, too.


"The Teal Tornado"

As you can see, this traditionally-colored flaming whirlwind knocked the wording about and blew the second 'k' clean off. Of course, if for the sake of argument we called this a "menorah", then it's also missing a candle. The fact that the "candles" look like Christmas trees is just the icing on the, er, cookie. Mazel Tov!

And last but not least,

"The Religiously Confused"

How much you wanna bet this bakery has a bin of "Christmas Stars" in the back?


Thanks to Ebony W., Shanna M. and Frank R.!
Anonymous said...

oy vey

Laura ~Peach~ said...

that last cake made me laugh out loud! sigh !

Katie said...

Did you notice that the first one with the star of david seems to be an upside down cupcake christmas tree?

Julianne said...

Ahahahaahhaahahaha.

JohnnyB said...

On cake #3 I'm thinking the person at the bakery thought, "I'm sick of all the 'Season's Greetings', 'Happy Holidays', 'Happy Hanukkah' euphemisms. I'm putting 'Merry Christmas' on all the cakes because that's what everyone is celebrating!"

Mary said...

Maybe the third one could be for a mixed-religious household. That's the excuse I'd use if I was the lazy and/or confused person who made it.

Anonymous said...

I'm not even Jewish and I'm offended. Nah, maybe just amused at what people will put on a cake to try to sell it.

sendingtheclowns said...

Teal Tornado!! Hilarious! (It is a lovely color, though...)
I really got the feeling that someone had sneezed right between "HANU" and "KAh."
If so, it *could* just explain how the glimy-gloobery got there.
The little trees /whatnots were an attempt to make it represent an actual something-or-other, like a pedestal on which we have little green pinecones wearing hats. Or the Seven Dwarfs plus a new recruit.
I shouldn't come here before I've had my coffee.

Marcos said...

Don't be too hard on the tornado decorator who left off the second K in "Hanukkah" - there's only one K in the Hebrew spelling, and the transliteration isn't universal. Plenty of other reasons to pick on that cake. :)

I'm guessing that last bakery neglected to stock up on "Happy Christmukkah" lettering...

Michael said...

Actually, I don't notice anything wrong with the first. It's not lovely, but it's adequate.

Michelle said...

I love the teal tornado! And "Christmas Stars"! Although a cake like that could be used in my house as we're a bit confused... I made latkes for Christmas Eve dinner and we have a dreidel on our Christmas tree. :)

MarieA said...

oy vey!

Joe said...

Actually, the whirlwind thing is called a Hanukkiah, after the holiday. A menorah is a seven branched candelabrum used to tell the days of the week. Also, a Hanukkiah needs nine branches, with one higher than the other eight. Just dropping some knowledge...

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I guess that last cake is nice because it sort of includes both groups.

joyce said...

My engineer husband is troubled by the cupcake star. He says its hard to mess up a triangle, and that it would have been so easy to arrange the cupcakes correctly...

Too funny.

Jessica B said...

Really that thrid one was probably a Chrismakkuh cake inspired by Seth Cohen of The O.C. :) At least, thats the sotry I'd use if I was the one selling the cake.

Omm said...

Joe-

Very cool knowledge- I never knew that. That said, are you sure you aren't giving the decorator too much credit...?

In other news, I like how the "Merry Christmas" looks stuck on there like an afterthought, heh.

JAMIE'S CREW said...

What are the white spidery-legs looking things in the third picture?

Jorn said...

I'd much prefer 'Gentile' to 'Goy'== I've run across too many offensive uses of the latter.

Willow Tree said...

I love your blog. It has brought me more joy than I can tell you; sometimes a good laugh can change everything. Thank you.

Blessings, Carolynn

Krissy said...

I'm pretty impressed the Teal Tornado "bakery" seems to think it was good enough to deserve the display holder! LOL "Wow! That's a really good one! Maybe the best we've got!"

Anonymous said...

Jorn,
Goy is basically Gentile in Hebrew. Nothing more, nothing less.
ross

Anonymous said...

Jews for Jesus, the cake version.

Anonymous said...

The great thing about the third cake is the dual purpose -- you can pluck out the plastic things for the "other" holiday you are not celebrating. So much easier than trying to redo icing :)

robyn said...

Well...Jesus WAS a Jew, so that last cake could actually be right...sorta...

Christine said...

I love that you include all sorts of winter holiday cake madness. It's really refreshing to see someone who considers many holidays, even if kwanzaa cakes are really hard to find.

ps. what the heck is a Snotion (my verification word)? Is that like a snot station all mushed together?

wolfmom said...

I think the 3rd cake is a very clever marketing ploy...anyone can buy it and just remove what they don't need...deviously clever, appeal to everyone.
These are funny!

Aviatrix said...

I like the last one. I would totally buy that one, especially if I were invited to a Kwanzaa party I could bring it to.

Verification word is "unispe" as in UNIted SPEcial occasions.

Anonymous said...

Plenty of Christian/Jewish families would love that last cake but holy moly is that a hilarious mess. I suspect that the decorator did in fact have "Christmas stars" in the back and just stuck them on.

The unholy CCC has reared it's hideous head in the form of the malformed Star of David. Which really is not that hard. Come on. I'm not even Jewish and I'm annoyed at that one. It's just lazy decorating.

Debbi said...

I'm thinking on cake #3 the "spider leg" things are papers to separate the slices, no?

The first one really scares me. Not only is it a CCC *runs from the room screaming* but it truly is very hard to mess up 2 triangles.

Oy!

Rufus Opus said...

The last cake could be for/by Messianic Jews, who accept Jesus was the Messiah and still keep their Jewish customs, like Chanukka, pesoch, and everything else. Cool religion, imho.

But still... TACKY CAKE!!!

Hyena Overlord said...

Ick...the whole lot of them.

wvotd...merpric...is that a merman who is a ?

Scritzy said...

Let me guess: the decorator of the "star of David" CCC failed geometry ...

Word verification: misiolob. What someone who had a lobotomy is missing.

Meg said...

You missed Sandra Lee's Hanukkah cake, from the same episode as the Kwanzaa football cake. Oy vey indeed.

oddharmonic said...

I second that the "spider leg" things on cake #3 are papers to separate the slices. It's common for prefab cakes designed to be sold by the slice to have those, although the extra decoration on top baffles me.

Word verification: parch. What happens to your mouth when you eat stale cake.

Sport's Mom said...

Dear Mr. Politicians,
SACRILEGE! SACRILEGE! Somebody stop this politically correct #@$% People are getting religiously confused and it's NOT FUNNY! Okay, well, maybe it is, a little....... BUT IT'S STILL NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
A So Totally Not Crazy Person Who Is Not Addicted To This Blog Completely
Well....Possibly.....WHATEVER!

NipponElla said...

Wait--I know who that last cake is marketing too. I have a couple friends who married each other despite religious differences. She is Christian, he is Jewish. This time of the year they celebrate both religious holidays, so this would be the perfect cake for them!

Corinn said...

YAY!!! Equal-opportunity cake wrecks! XD

I would so totally buy the Merry-Christmas-with-Jewish-stars cake, but then again I'm insane.

Word verification: precave. I would not be surprised if at least one of these wrecks caved in upon being touched.

Anonymous said...

Store-bought cakes weren't really part of my chanukah experience - homemade sugar cookies decorated with pale blue sugar, were.

I'm Jewish and my husband isn't, but we would never buy that last cake for any reason. I'm happy just eating the Christmas cookies our friends give us :-)

- jen

D.B. Echo said...

Forget the inscription. That last cake looks like a "Face Hugger" from Alien! "Merry Chrstmas....AAAAAAAGHH!!!"

terrib said...

You found some!! I think the one with Merry Christmas and the Stars of David would probably go over well in my blended family- I'm Jewish, hubby's not.

All I can really say is that at least none of them misspelled Hannukah, unless you count the "Merry Christmas." The menorah, though, was a huge glaring error.

Fluffy Cow said...

Sooo... the decorator of the tornado took the word "branches" to heart. But forgot one! Soooo funny!!!!

WV- metro (seriously!)

Amy said...

Oy. Oy. Oy.
~Amy B

Doug said...

Why on Earth is the last "h" in "HANUKAh" lowercase when EVERY OTHER LETTER ON THE COOKIE IS UPPERCASE!?

*sigh*

Anonymous said...

Srictly speaking a menorah doesn't need the ninth candle, so that's not a problem with the cake.. many things ARE a problem, I'll admit, but that's not one of them

Harley Quinn said...

That last cake would have been great for me growing up -- My mom's Jewish, Father's Catholic, so we celebrated both holidays.

Reminds me of one year when my mom gave me a huge teddy bear for Chanukah -- it had "Merry Christmas" sewn on it. She got a lot of teasing from me about that.

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

Maybe the last cake is a chrismukkah cake!

Calantha said...

If the last one is supposed to be a cake for both Christmas and Hanukkah, it's an absolute failure. I bet even my non-baking sister-in-law could do a better job. Whoever decorated that cake needs to be slapped 10x in a row.

Canaduck said...

I'm just writing to voice my approval of the "Hanukah" spelling. It's not exactly wrong, though it is uncommon.

By the way, since we grew up in a Jewish/Christian household, that last cake would have been spot on. But it is just plain weird.

jengersnap said...

Love the last one. It reminds me of a family/extended family reunion :)

WV: tryst. Seriously. As in my daily "tryst" with Cake Wrecks, some things just make sense.

aw said...

I'd also like to point out that 'Hanukah' with one K isn't wrong - anything that is a transliteration from another language merely has an approximation in English. The proper spelling, is of course, in Hebrew. For example al-Qaeda/al-Qaida are both 'right' although any one publication might have a preffered transliteration.

Meg said...

haha! I want that religiously-confused cake for my half-Jewish family's Christmas dessert!

Valerie said...

Heh... I wondered if maybe the Merry Christmas with the Stars of David was supposed to be for a family of both faiths. :)

But it is kind of funny any way you look at it! The cookie one though was my favorite. Made me laugh out loud with the flaming whirlwind! :)
I love this site!

Anonymous said...

Well at least they're equal opportunity wreakers

-Frozen Cookie

Cupcakes Lady said...

"A Star is (Not) Born" - Ha I can see what they were trying...unfortunately It doesn't come off, unless you squint your eyes tight! No hard feelings though lol Suzanne x