Thursday, December 18, 2008
Whirled Peas
Thursday, December 18, 2008
That pea-soup-green and grayish-blue color combo is causing a lot of upset in my GI region, too. In fact, looking at this cake is making me feel anything but peaceful. It makes me feel like maybe these color-blind wreckerators should be stopped, you know? Like maybe we should do something about it! What do you say, Heather E.? Are you with me?!?
Ok, here's what we'll do: we'll form a website, see? And then we'll post pictures of all the really bad cakes, yeah? And then we'll mercilessly mock the cakes until the wreckerators are forced to change their evil ways! It's BRILLIANT!!
Oh, wait....
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What's a Wreck?
What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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- The Cutest Misspellings of "Happy Birthday" I Have...
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- Too Hot to Handle, Too Cold to Hold
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- How Many Blogs Have Tribute Parties?
- What Do You Get for an Investment Banker?
- Guest Blogging at Cupcakes Take the Cake
- The Cupcakes Were Made of Irony
- The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
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126 comments | Post a Comment
Maybe it's one of those tricky meat cakes topped with pasta salad.
I'd say they're more like cocktail olives on Earth...
Oh my, whirled peas, indeed! I am not hungry for breakfast now. Yuck. How OLD is that cake? Bleck.
Reminds me of the "Exorcist" ,anyone for some pea soup?
Remember the scene in The Exorcist where Regan's head goes all twisty and she upchucks on poor f
Father Karras? Yep, that's what I'm thinking they used for icing. All those in favor of an excorsism, say aye!
That is hideous. Is it supposed to be a wreath? It looks like pasta heaped on the cake.
liz
I thought the cake had uncooked pasta along the edge for a minute there.
And Jen, while changing the world is an admirable goal, I just walked past my local grocery store's bakery last night and...Well, let's just say it's going to be a long process.
I'm not feeling exactly peaceful, but I'm definitely feeling peasful.
I think you could use that cake to negotiate world peace. Make peace or else everyone eats the cake!
Phoo-D
The first thing I saw on this cake were olives. Ha.
Olive this cake.
Should be titled "Peas on Earth".
At first glance it looked like green olives with pimentos in the middles.
It's a sad state of economic affairs when wreckorators are forced to spare every penny from a bakery's budget by using less coloring in the icing. Every budget cut has consequences. Some consequences are entertainment for others
Yeah I'm with Horrible License Plates. Olive the other cakes used to laugh and call it names. No, wait....
Jen don't rain on their parade. Who doesn't want whirled peas? I'd love some peas on Earth this holiday season.
(on a less punny side note, I've always heard that color referred to as "baby sh*t green"....maybe it's a Texas thing)
Whirled vomit, perhaps? Someone needs a color wheel.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Peas on Earth indeed!
Give peas a chance.
Yuck!
I'm at a loss for words. Were they going for a wreath?
It does look like olives...
Add me to the pile of folks who thought there was pasta topping that monstrosity.
Before reading this site I had no idea how rampant alcoholism was amongst cake decorators. Seriously, barring the chance that they are secretly employing preschoolers in the back, it's the only logical explanation.
That looks like pasta salad. D: Yuck yuck yuck.
Yep, my first thought was pasta also. Glad I am not the only one who saw the pasta salad drizzled on top!
A new word for you: wrecketrate
Disturbing...
Whirled peas? Are you sure you didn't mean hurled peas?
That is one nasty looking cake!
The Courteous Chihuaua...you might be right...a tricky meat cake...gross...but i'm definitely seeing olive and pimento topping....
I also think the inscription is interesting. It's a very bold statement...PEACE ON EARTH!...not "Let there be peace on Earth" or "May there be peace on Earth"...maybe they were charging by the letter and the buyer was as budget minded as the frosting colorist.
I seriously thought that cake was adorned with green olives with pimento. I just threw up a little in my mouth just typing that.
Just arrived at work and want a martini already thanks to this cocktail olive cake. It's 5:00 somewhere...
It looks like an uncooked Digorno tortellini wreath.
My first thought was the preschool art project where cornflakes are dyed green and glued onto paper to make a "wreath," but preschoolers would be neater in their execution of said art project.
It's Tortellini!!
Bev
Maybe its just because its what I had for dinner last night, but I couldnt figure out why pesto pasta was so peaceful. It seriously took about 2 minutes for me to realize it was supposed to be a wreath! Oy!!
aren't peas a common ingredient in pasta salad?
Who thought this would be a good cake that looks suspiciously like a pasta meat cake? And of course, the colors are just horrendous.
"Whirled peas"...more like "hurled peas"!
It's obvious you can't served ice cream on the side with this one. How about a nice dollop of mayo?
I too, saw olives and pureed peas. Something out of a Gerber jar.
That's just gross.
~Amy B.
I, too, see olives. An olive wreath.
At first glance I thought it was some kind of weird olive medly.
So I go to a family member's house for holidays, and there are rarely any vegetables served at the holiday meal. (I try to bring them when the potluck assignments are handed out, you know, being the change I wish to see the world and all). But this cake solves the problem: it has greens! it looks like spinach pasta! or olives! I need never steam a veggie again if my host will just buy this cake for our holiday dessert....
Everybody now! *Slee-eep in heavenly peas...*
Why am I suddenly craving a martini after looking at that cake?
Were they going for the mashed up green olive look? Because...mission-accomplished.
Help! There's deviled eggs and olives on my cake!!!
I am glad a bunch of you thought it looked like olives. So did I. Then I thought about what olives would taste like on a cake. Now I have an upset stomach.
True fact: in 18th century France, the color of that cake was extremely popular in the royal court. The color's name? Goose-turd green. You cannot make these things up.
Word verification: glorn. The sound you make when you see this cake? Or perhaps the mood the decorator was in?
I really have to quit reading your blog before breakfast! Grocery store bakeries need someone with veto power to come by before these cakes are presented to an unwary public. That would spoil all the CakeWrecks fun though, wouldn't it.
Ah, my verification word is a cross between "dire" and "dread." The pea(s) cake is something diread.
Thats just gross. Nikki
Dudes.
Looks to me like they edged the cake with deviled eggs. You know how it gets kinda greeny if you boil the eggs too long? Like that.
Whirled Peas...that's beautiful right there.
the cake? not so much!
It's a Peace Soup Cake. :-)
Nothing screams Christmas like olives on a cake!!
WV ~ Catio. When the cat ends up on the patio.
It really does look like green olives.
Martini cake, anyone?
- "Isn't that Dijon mustard icing?"
- "Uh? Yeah, it is! I was just wondering how i could create a new kind of cake, which might bring peace on earth!"
- "Sure... peace like... none will fight to get more..."
_______
>_<
I think it looks like the filling for deviled eggs. Certianly what I like with my cake.
PIMENTO OLIVES AND CAPERS YUMMY! MAYBE THE FROSTING IS MASHED POTATOES WITH MEATLOAF UNDER!
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
Like everyone else, I saw olives first and I still see olives! It took me a minute to see the wreath. Unfortunately, I saw this right before lunch and have since lost my appetite. Like AZgirl, I now have an upset stomach.
When you look at the close up of the cake, you can see that it has also been haphazardly sprinkled with those metal-looking sprinkles (dragees?). Why? oh Why?? ohhh why????!!! It looks like MOLD on the old pasta salad! Gack!!!
I must be the odd ball - to me it looked like someone had switched out their frosting bag for the deviled egg filling. Mmmmm... deviled eggs and cake. Where's the Pepto?
Do people really buy these cakes? Seriously!
Maybe it's a conspiracy. Maybe the "decorators" (note the appropriate use of quotations!)make these cakes ugly on purpose so no one will buy them, and then they can have the cakes for themselves!!
The depths of perversion that this idea could represent are disturbing.
I saw overcooked spinach with cranberries.
BTW - I keep flipping through the cake book at the supermarket, wondering which design has the highest potential for Wreckage. Just might have to order something to see what I actually get. Would that count as a Wreck, or do they have to be unforeseen?
It looks like it's covered in mushed pimento-stuffed olives...with the pimentos still in there...
I'll have a piece of baby carrot jockeys instead.
thank god they included an exclamation point, otherwise i would have been totally confused...
My first thought was olives. Lots of olives.
WV: byake
"Some paple don't understaynd how to byake."
Looks like olives to me. And not even nice shiny green olives, but the olives you find in the jar that got shoved to the back of the refrigerator eight months ago.
Del Monte Vobiscum, everyone. (That's "peas be with you.")
Word verification: nessness. The spirit of ness during the Chrismtas season. Kindness, happiness and nessness.
I saw pasta salad too! Macaroni shells with dried peas & carrots in a ranch sauce. Just what that cake & world peace needed! :P
I also thought it was pasta salad on the cake. In fact, that's all I can see. I think my favorite part might be the dis-proportionally large exclamation point, like the decorator was SO excited about the prospect of 'Peace on Earth' that they couldn't contain their enthusiasm.
Jen, I LOVE how witty you are! This blog is hilarious! Every day I come to work and I can't wait to see the latest and greatest of the cake-wreck world. Thanks for all the laughs!
Karen asked: "if it IS supposed to be a wreath, what are those nasty brownish black flecks in it supposed to be??"
I think they are supposed to be lowlights, except for there's no consistency to an imagined light source for them.
Or perhaps they are chocolate chips.
Word verification: stantsi. My daughter is going to be stantsi tomorrow morning waiting in the airport, but I am installing some games on the laptop to help with that.
When Nigel prayed for peace on Earth this wasn't quite what he had in mind...
Ha ha ha!!
I think I just saw something like that changing my son's diaper. Yeeeeccchhh.
Love the Yzma impression BTW Jen
Laura H
Peace on earth, wreckage on cakes...
And did anyone else notice that the cake in the background has the same color of frosting (or pasta salad), only with what looks like powdered Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top?
Ulcchhh. That is one of the worst colors ever.
I'm wondering who I should commission to do a Grinch cake for my soon-to-be-4-year-old's January birthday? Any suggestions? Lol.
Mmmmm, banana peppers.
So seriously...it doesn't just look like pimento olives, it looks like pimento olives AND like someone ate a bunch of kalamata olives and spit the pits back out onto the pile of pimento olives.
Yuk olives!
This cake is awful for the pregnant woman's eyes!
PUKE!
~Hyla
from
http://greenearthjourney.blogspot.com
It looks like tuna noodle casserole!! Made me hungry!!
The title of this post was perfect. I loves it!
Who threw up on that cake? yuck!
~Kia
Maybe it was supposed to be:
Peas on Earth
Oh wow. I am home w/dial up so the first thing I saw was the title, which had me laughing & wondering what was to come. When the photo finally came up, oh....
Is that actually a color? Was that stuff around the circumference of the cake supposed to be a design?
Since discovering this site, I've been looking at the cakes at my shopping places and having some giggles.
sagebeasties.blogspot.com
Is that...pasta salad?
Between the wrecks, Jen's brilliant commentary, and these hysterical word verifications, I laugh until I cry every morning. Thank you!
Ick.
Ewww. Looks like pasta salad.
My first thought was egg salad.
I actually spotted this cake at Whole Foods, in their holiday cake display. The green is even more putrid and pea-soup like in person and the strange olive-esque objects in the wreath are actually blobs of red and navy blue icing.
That just turns my stomach.
It took me a full minute to see it was supposed to be a wreath. That is one sorry Christmas cake.
It looks like it has pasta salad on top of it....
This cake makes me say Wow...Gnasty (the 'g' is not silent). It looks like it was under fluorescent lighting. Then I look again and say, oh my no. That's just plain lose-my-lunch awfulness. It should go with the moldy cakes. For reals.
That looks like strained peas. Well, if it is baby food, we can always feed it to the naked mohawk baby carrot jockeys!!!!!!!!
W.V: (although this cake makes me want to say WTF):tursin. When Bob saw the cake, his face started to look tursin and he rushed to the bathroom.
Okay, forget the icing; has anyone noticed the second-grader handwriting on this "cake"? ( No, that was not meant to make fun of the cakes with the inappropriate quotation marks. I really think that the cake-hood of this... item should be doubted.)
Looks like it was decorated with capers and pimentos. Can I pass on this cake? I'll just have some of the candy from the pinata.
In addition to the nauseating color, it looks like it says "Peace or Earth!" to me. Apparently you can only have one or the other.
Another great wreck!!
My first impression was that there was a ring of ziti with pesto ringing the top of that cake. Blecch.
I agree: it totally looks like pasta salad. The really vinegary kind.
I don't know what you people are complaining about. I hear pimento olives on vanilla cake is a very popular dessert in hell.
Totally thought it was pasta salad!
I get it! This is a dove's nest...they are waiting for the dove. The dove represents peace...right? So peace on earth is appropriate written a cake shaped like a nest without a dove because like the dove..peace on earth has not arrived! Right?
wv:colegie: what you call college if you can't pronounce it properly.
Nice to meet you.
I commented your blog as class.
I like cake.
Yore cake like very sweet!!
I think it's channeling pimento-stuffed artichokes.
...sure puts me in a "holiday mood"...
This looks like pasta and olives on top of a cake! Yummy, what a great combo- salty yet sweet! I have been on the look out!
It looks like a very convincing deviled-eggs-left-out-in-the-sun-too-long colour!
I sure hope it was one of those cakes with pasta salad because it sure looks gross.
ewwww....
Whew. I feel better thinking that Cake Wrecks had branched out into fancy, party Pasta Salad after reading these comments!
I'm all for world peace and whirled peas, but I think this has put me off cakes for at least the next day or two.
That cake makes me crave Deviled Eggs - and not in a good way.
Ye gods! Someone vomited pea soup on that cake!
I'm in favor of exorcism before Pazuzu comes and devours us all!
That is one hideous shade of green. Yuck!
Ok, I'm sorry, but that just looks like someone scraped out what was left in a baby's diaper and put it on a cake. I would definitely pass that up on a buffet table!
"Mommy, Joey barfed on my cake!"
Jessica...check out Charm City Cakes, they actually made an Exorcist cake, it looks awesome and the head even spins!
The outside looks like beef stroganoff!
OK you guys, I was doing Ok until I started reading the comments. It was then that I spit eggnog latte all over my husband's computer. I blame you. All of you.
Man, the deli folks are going to be angry when they see what the bakery folks did with the stuff they stole from the olive bar.
I'm thinking olives with pimento sprinkles.
Extending an olive branch of peace perhaps?
To me, that icing looks sorta like Hummus. You know....made outa chick peas? It's what I would have expected to be topping the cakes in the Middle East made for the North American soldiers. The Middle East....land of falafels and hummus! And Babaganoush! I'd eat a cake made of Babaganoush!
Ewwww....I just got a really bad taste in my mouth from this cake. The ummmmm....wreath like thing on top looks like they piped on deviled egg stuffing and pimentos.
OMG....i ACTUALLY though someone had decided to sprinkle some pasta salad around the cake for decorations! :O:O like SERIOUSLYYYY
Peas on earth...just looking at this makes me feel gassy. :-P
PEEEAAASSEEEE!!!!!!!!! This is so totally not peasing my appetite if you peas. :<
Pease pardon the pea joke. I have to go pea now.
Well, at least they are enthusiastic about it.
Word verification: toish
(no comment)
You know everyone says this cake makes their stomach hurt and I'm just really craving some beef stroganoff. Wonder why that is...
The ring around it looks like pasta salad...
Amy
Saw this and immediately wondered "who in their right mind smothered that cake in partially pureed stuffed olives"?
I then went away, feeling rather green....
Ewww! It looks like my great aunt Anna Brown's chicken and noodles... Sans the chicken.
Unless it's hiding under all that frosting.