Thursday, December 18, 2008

Whirled Peas

Thursday, December 18, 2008

For a cake promoting peace, this one sure is an assault on the eyes:


That pea-soup-green and grayish-blue color combo is causing a lot of upset in my GI region, too. In fact, looking at this cake is making me feel anything but peaceful. It makes me feel like maybe these color-blind wreckerators should be stopped, you know? Like maybe we should do something about it! What do you say, Heather E.? Are you with me?!?

Ok, here's what we'll do: we'll form a website, see? And then we'll post pictures of all the really bad cakes, yeah? And then we'll mercilessly mock the cakes until the wreckerators are forced to change their evil ways! It's BRILLIANT!!

Oh, wait....
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Maybe it's one of those tricky meat cakes topped with pasta salad.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

I'd say they're more like cocktail olives on Earth...

joyce said...

Oh my, whirled peas, indeed! I am not hungry for breakfast now. Yuck. How OLD is that cake? Bleck.

Jessica said...

Reminds me of the "Exorcist" ,anyone for some pea soup?

Alix said...

Remember the scene in The Exorcist where Regan's head goes all twisty and she upchucks on poor f
Father Karras? Yep, that's what I'm thinking they used for icing. All those in favor of an excorsism, say aye!

Anonymous said...

That is hideous. Is it supposed to be a wreath? It looks like pasta heaped on the cake.

liz

Craig said...

I thought the cake had uncooked pasta along the edge for a minute there.

And Jen, while changing the world is an admirable goal, I just walked past my local grocery store's bakery last night and...Well, let's just say it's going to be a long process.

HeatherPride said...

I'm not feeling exactly peaceful, but I'm definitely feeling peasful.

Phoo-D said...

I think you could use that cake to negotiate world peace. Make peace or else everyone eats the cake!

Phoo-D

HorribleLicensePlates said...

The first thing I saw on this cake were olives. Ha.

Olive this cake.

Funky Kim said...

Should be titled "Peas on Earth".

Feisty Irish Wench said...

At first glance it looked like green olives with pimentos in the middles.

It's a sad state of economic affairs when wreckorators are forced to spare every penny from a bakery's budget by using less coloring in the icing. Every budget cut has consequences. Some consequences are entertainment for others

Leslie said...

Yeah I'm with Horrible License Plates. Olive the other cakes used to laugh and call it names. No, wait....
Jen don't rain on their parade. Who doesn't want whirled peas? I'd love some peas on Earth this holiday season.
(on a less punny side note, I've always heard that color referred to as "baby sh*t green"....maybe it's a Texas thing)

All Adither said...

Whirled vomit, perhaps? Someone needs a color wheel.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Sue said...

Peas on Earth indeed!

Give peas a chance.

Yuck!

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

I'm at a loss for words. Were they going for a wreath?

Mari said...

It does look like olives...

Misha said...

Add me to the pile of folks who thought there was pasta topping that monstrosity.

Melissa said...

Before reading this site I had no idea how rampant alcoholism was amongst cake decorators. Seriously, barring the chance that they are secretly employing preschoolers in the back, it's the only logical explanation.

Anonymous said...

That looks like pasta salad. D: Yuck yuck yuck.

Crystal Copeland said...

Yep, my first thought was pasta also. Glad I am not the only one who saw the pasta salad drizzled on top!

Nathon said...

A new word for you: wrecketrate

Maureen said...

Disturbing...

writtenwyrdd said...

Whirled peas? Are you sure you didn't mean hurled peas?

That is one nasty looking cake!

Bonnie said...

The Courteous Chihuaua...you might be right...a tricky meat cake...gross...but i'm definitely seeing olive and pimento topping....

I also think the inscription is interesting. It's a very bold statement...PEACE ON EARTH!...not "Let there be peace on Earth" or "May there be peace on Earth"...maybe they were charging by the letter and the buyer was as budget minded as the frosting colorist.

Anonymous said...

I seriously thought that cake was adorned with green olives with pimento. I just threw up a little in my mouth just typing that.

Helen Back said...

Just arrived at work and want a martini already thanks to this cocktail olive cake. It's 5:00 somewhere...

Caroline said...

It looks like an uncooked Digorno tortellini wreath.

The Warden said...

My first thought was the preschool art project where cornflakes are dyed green and glued onto paper to make a "wreath," but preschoolers would be neater in their execution of said art project.

homeschool mamma said...

It's Tortellini!!
Bev

*Michelle said...

Maybe its just because its what I had for dinner last night, but I couldnt figure out why pesto pasta was so peaceful. It seriously took about 2 minutes for me to realize it was supposed to be a wreath! Oy!!

kerry said...

aren't peas a common ingredient in pasta salad?

Anonymous said...

Who thought this would be a good cake that looks suspiciously like a pasta meat cake? And of course, the colors are just horrendous.

5thsister said...

"Whirled peas"...more like "hurled peas"!

Deborah Godin said...

It's obvious you can't served ice cream on the side with this one. How about a nice dollop of mayo?

Amy said...

I too, saw olives and pureed peas. Something out of a Gerber jar.
That's just gross.
~Amy B.

Hi Kooky said...

I, too, see olives. An olive wreath.

Holle said...

At first glance I thought it was some kind of weird olive medly.

Broccoli said...

So I go to a family member's house for holidays, and there are rarely any vegetables served at the holiday meal. (I try to bring them when the potluck assignments are handed out, you know, being the change I wish to see the world and all). But this cake solves the problem: it has greens! it looks like spinach pasta! or olives! I need never steam a veggie again if my host will just buy this cake for our holiday dessert....

Persnickety Ticker said...

Everybody now! *Slee-eep in heavenly peas...*

Why am I suddenly craving a martini after looking at that cake?

Karen said...

Were they going for the mashed up green olive look? Because...mission-accomplished.

KMY said...

EEEWWWW!!!! Ugly cake!

"Wrecheraters" Good word.

I like "Wreckreators", too. As in wreck-creators.

I start every day with a good laugh from your blog. Thanks for helping me get out the door with a laugh.

Karen said...

And furthermore...if it IS supposed to be a wreath, what are those nasty brownish black flecks in it supposed to be??

Anonymous said...

Help! There's deviled eggs and olives on my cake!!!

AZgirl said...

I am glad a bunch of you thought it looked like olives. So did I. Then I thought about what olives would taste like on a cake. Now I have an upset stomach.

Shanti said...

True fact: in 18th century France, the color of that cake was extremely popular in the royal court. The color's name? Goose-turd green. You cannot make these things up.

Word verification: glorn. The sound you make when you see this cake? Or perhaps the mood the decorator was in?

Anonymous said...

I really have to quit reading your blog before breakfast! Grocery store bakeries need someone with veto power to come by before these cakes are presented to an unwary public. That would spoil all the CakeWrecks fun though, wouldn't it.

Ah, my verification word is a cross between "dire" and "dread." The pea(s) cake is something diread.

Nikki E said...

Thats just gross. Nikki

aleta meadowlark said...

Dudes.

Looks to me like they edged the cake with deviled eggs. You know how it gets kinda greeny if you boil the eggs too long? Like that.

xxxevilgrinxxx said...

Whirled Peas...that's beautiful right there.
the cake? not so much!

Anonymous said...

It's a Peace Soup Cake. :-)

Debbi said...

Nothing screams Christmas like olives on a cake!!

WV ~ Catio. When the cat ends up on the patio.

Denise said...

It really does look like green olives.
Martini cake, anyone?

J-Benoit said...

- "Isn't that Dijon mustard icing?"

- "Uh? Yeah, it is! I was just wondering how i could create a new kind of cake, which might bring peace on earth!"

- "Sure... peace like... none will fight to get more..."

_______

>_<

Hilary said...

I think it looks like the filling for deviled eggs. Certianly what I like with my cake.

Anonymous said...

PIMENTO OLIVES AND CAPERS YUMMY! MAYBE THE FROSTING IS MASHED POTATOES WITH MEATLOAF UNDER!
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

Katie said...

Like everyone else, I saw olives first and I still see olives! It took me a minute to see the wreath. Unfortunately, I saw this right before lunch and have since lost my appetite. Like AZgirl, I now have an upset stomach.

sarah said...

When you look at the close up of the cake, you can see that it has also been haphazardly sprinkled with those metal-looking sprinkles (dragees?). Why? oh Why?? ohhh why????!!! It looks like MOLD on the old pasta salad! Gack!!!

Jon & Anna said...

I must be the odd ball - to me it looked like someone had switched out their frosting bag for the deviled egg filling. Mmmmm... deviled eggs and cake. Where's the Pepto?

Mom In Scrubs said...

Do people really buy these cakes? Seriously!

Maybe it's a conspiracy. Maybe the "decorators" (note the appropriate use of quotations!)make these cakes ugly on purpose so no one will buy them, and then they can have the cakes for themselves!!

The depths of perversion that this idea could represent are disturbing.

Lulubelle B said...

I saw overcooked spinach with cranberries.

BTW - I keep flipping through the cake book at the supermarket, wondering which design has the highest potential for Wreckage. Just might have to order something to see what I actually get. Would that count as a Wreck, or do they have to be unforeseen?

Pirka said...

It looks like it's covered in mushed pimento-stuffed olives...with the pimentos still in there...

Jim and Garret said...

I'll have a piece of baby carrot jockeys instead.

phyzish said...

thank god they included an exclamation point, otherwise i would have been totally confused...

Julianna said...

My first thought was olives. Lots of olives.

WV: byake

"Some paple don't understaynd how to byake."

Scritzy said...

Looks like olives to me. And not even nice shiny green olives, but the olives you find in the jar that got shoved to the back of the refrigerator eight months ago.

Del Monte Vobiscum, everyone. (That's "peas be with you.")

Word verification: nessness. The spirit of ness during the Chrismtas season. Kindness, happiness and nessness.

Anonymous said...

I saw pasta salad too! Macaroni shells with dried peas & carrots in a ranch sauce. Just what that cake & world peace needed! :P

edeabay said...

I also thought it was pasta salad on the cake. In fact, that's all I can see. I think my favorite part might be the dis-proportionally large exclamation point, like the decorator was SO excited about the prospect of 'Peace on Earth' that they couldn't contain their enthusiasm.

Anonymous said...

Jen, I LOVE how witty you are! This blog is hilarious! Every day I come to work and I can't wait to see the latest and greatest of the cake-wreck world. Thanks for all the laughs!

oddharmonic said...

Karen asked: "if it IS supposed to be a wreath, what are those nasty brownish black flecks in it supposed to be??"

I think they are supposed to be lowlights, except for there's no consistency to an imagined light source for them.

Or perhaps they are chocolate chips.

Word verification: stantsi. My daughter is going to be stantsi tomorrow morning waiting in the airport, but I am installing some games on the laptop to help with that.

Becky said...

When Nigel prayed for peace on Earth this wasn't quite what he had in mind...

Ha ha ha!!

Anonymous said...

I think I just saw something like that changing my son's diaper. Yeeeeccchhh.

Love the Yzma impression BTW Jen

Laura H

Cammy said...

Peace on earth, wreckage on cakes...

And did anyone else notice that the cake in the background has the same color of frosting (or pasta salad), only with what looks like powdered Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top?

FreedomFirst said...

Ulcchhh. That is one of the worst colors ever.

I'm wondering who I should commission to do a Grinch cake for my soon-to-be-4-year-old's January birthday? Any suggestions? Lol.

Brianna said...

Mmmmm, banana peppers.

bouboule said...

So seriously...it doesn't just look like pimento olives, it looks like pimento olives AND like someone ate a bunch of kalamata olives and spit the pits back out onto the pile of pimento olives.

Hyla Waldron said...

Yuk olives!
This cake is awful for the pregnant woman's eyes!
PUKE!

~Hyla
from
http://greenearthjourney.blogspot.com

emilytasticz0rz said...

It looks like tuna noodle casserole!! Made me hungry!!

Juliet said...

The title of this post was perfect. I loves it!

Kierra said...

Who threw up on that cake? yuck!

~Kia

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was supposed to be:

Peas on Earth

OldMorgans said...

Oh wow. I am home w/dial up so the first thing I saw was the title, which had me laughing & wondering what was to come. When the photo finally came up, oh....
Is that actually a color? Was that stuff around the circumference of the cake supposed to be a design?
Since discovering this site, I've been looking at the cakes at my shopping places and having some giggles.

sagebeasties.blogspot.com

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

Is that...pasta salad?

Debbi said...

Between the wrecks, Jen's brilliant commentary, and these hysterical word verifications, I laugh until I cry every morning. Thank you!

Puanani said...

Ick.

just-becca said...

Ewww. Looks like pasta salad.

Evergrey said...

My first thought was egg salad.

HeatherE. said...

I actually spotted this cake at Whole Foods, in their holiday cake display. The green is even more putrid and pea-soup like in person and the strange olive-esque objects in the wreath are actually blobs of red and navy blue icing.

Anonymous said...

That just turns my stomach.

Shannon said...

It took me a full minute to see it was supposed to be a wreath. That is one sorry Christmas cake.

Kayla said...

It looks like it has pasta salad on top of it....

Catie said...

This cake makes me say Wow...Gnasty (the 'g' is not silent). It looks like it was under fluorescent lighting. Then I look again and say, oh my no. That's just plain lose-my-lunch awfulness. It should go with the moldy cakes. For reals.

Anonymous said...

That looks like strained peas. Well, if it is baby food, we can always feed it to the naked mohawk baby carrot jockeys!!!!!!!!

W.V: (although this cake makes me want to say WTF):tursin. When Bob saw the cake, his face started to look tursin and he rushed to the bathroom.

Anonymous said...

Okay, forget the icing; has anyone noticed the second-grader handwriting on this "cake"? ( No, that was not meant to make fun of the cakes with the inappropriate quotation marks. I really think that the cake-hood of this... item should be doubted.)

Laura said...

Looks like it was decorated with capers and pimentos. Can I pass on this cake? I'll just have some of the candy from the pinata.

slycreations said...

In addition to the nauseating color, it looks like it says "Peace or Earth!" to me. Apparently you can only have one or the other.

Another great wreck!!

RichS said...

My first impression was that there was a ring of ziti with pesto ringing the top of that cake. Blecch.

melydia said...

I agree: it totally looks like pasta salad. The really vinegary kind.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what you people are complaining about. I hear pimento olives on vanilla cake is a very popular dessert in hell.

Tonia said...

Totally thought it was pasta salad!

Penny said...

I get it! This is a dove's nest...they are waiting for the dove. The dove represents peace...right? So peace on earth is appropriate written a cake shaped like a nest without a dove because like the dove..peace on earth has not arrived! Right?

wv:colegie: what you call college if you can't pronounce it properly.

Anonymous said...

Nice to meet you.
I commented your blog as class.

I like cake.
Yore cake like very sweet!!

Jen said...

I think it's channeling pimento-stuffed artichokes.

...sure puts me in a "holiday mood"...

Alicia said...

This looks like pasta and olives on top of a cake! Yummy, what a great combo- salty yet sweet! I have been on the look out!

Crafty Chipmunk said...

It looks like a very convincing deviled-eggs-left-out-in-the-sun-too-long colour!

DesertDarlene said...

I sure hope it was one of those cakes with pasta salad because it sure looks gross.

Mrs. Wentz said...

ewwww....

Melissa said...

Whew. I feel better thinking that Cake Wrecks had branched out into fancy, party Pasta Salad after reading these comments!

Kim Antieau said...

I'm all for world peace and whirled peas, but I think this has put me off cakes for at least the next day or two.

Right As Rain Creations said...

That cake makes me crave Deviled Eggs - and not in a good way.

Skiriki said...

Ye gods! Someone vomited pea soup on that cake!

I'm in favor of exorcism before Pazuzu comes and devours us all!

dmontag said...

That is one hideous shade of green. Yuck!

vanfox23 said...

Ok, I'm sorry, but that just looks like someone scraped out what was left in a baby's diaper and put it on a cake. I would definitely pass that up on a buffet table!

Donna said...

"Mommy, Joey barfed on my cake!"


Jessica...check out Charm City Cakes, they actually made an Exorcist cake, it looks awesome and the head even spins!

Anonymous said...

The outside looks like beef stroganoff!

Dodi said...

OK you guys, I was doing Ok until I started reading the comments. It was then that I spit eggnog latte all over my husband's computer. I blame you. All of you.

Lily said...

Man, the deli folks are going to be angry when they see what the bakery folks did with the stuff they stole from the olive bar.

Katrina said...

I'm thinking olives with pimento sprinkles.

Extending an olive branch of peace perhaps?

Suzanne Dargie said...

To me, that icing looks sorta like Hummus. You know....made outa chick peas? It's what I would have expected to be topping the cakes in the Middle East made for the North American soldiers. The Middle East....land of falafels and hummus! And Babaganoush! I'd eat a cake made of Babaganoush!

Niamh said...

Ewwww....I just got a really bad taste in my mouth from this cake. The ummmmm....wreath like thing on top looks like they piped on deviled egg stuffing and pimentos.

Zahra said...

OMG....i ACTUALLY though someone had decided to sprinkle some pasta salad around the cake for decorations! :O:O like SERIOUSLYYYY

The Alien with a Ball-shaped Head said...

Peas on earth...just looking at this makes me feel gassy. :-P

Anonymous said...

PEEEAAASSEEEE!!!!!!!!! This is so totally not peasing my appetite if you peas. :<
Pease pardon the pea joke. I have to go pea now.

Anonymous said...

Well, at least they are enthusiastic about it.

Word verification: toish
(no comment)

LaurenH said...

You know everyone says this cake makes their stomach hurt and I'm just really craving some beef stroganoff. Wonder why that is...

Amy said...

The ring around it looks like pasta salad...

Amy

morriganscrow said...

Saw this and immediately wondered "who in their right mind smothered that cake in partially pureed stuffed olives"?
I then went away, feeling rather green....

Bete_Noire said...

Ewww! It looks like my great aunt Anna Brown's chicken and noodles... Sans the chicken.

Unless it's hiding under all that frosting.