Monday, December 15, 2008

Dino-Mite!

Monday, December 15, 2008

I must admit, I've been dreaming of the day when I could name a Cake Wreck "Cake Rex" for a looong time now. Heck, we're talking prime potential-mascot material here, folks! So will today be the day? Will it?

Well, let's see:

Uh, this looks like someone was going for a dinosaur-skin rug, but forgot to skin the dino first. He's kind of straddling the lines between alligator, lizard, and dinosaur, too. And what's going on with the back end?

Yikes! Are we sure there's actually a cupcake in there, Ian T.?

Next there's Jacqueline S.'s Nessie:

Actually, since there's two of them, maybe it should be Nestor & Nessie. Looove the shoestring necks and Nessie's pig snout, but those candles are just cruel. Not sure I want to get into the debate over whether the Loch Ness Monster is a dinosaur, either. Next!

Hey, look: someone decorated a block of floral foam with an "after-the-meteor-hit" vignette! The petrified dinosaur skeletons and the still-burning remains of the local vegetation are spot-on. We may not know the occasion, Gwen F., but at least Greg - whoever he is - is being greeted really enthusiastically. (Which is kind of ironic, given the whole death-and-destruction theme.)

So anyway, those are the remains of dinosaurs - do we have any with their skin still on?

What the heck... is that someone's small intestine draped over the side?!? And how much of that is actually cake, Shani H.? It looks like solid plastic.

Um, I don't think this is worthy of being called Cake Rex, either, but get a load of the itty bitty dino-arms sticking out next to the head. Kinda reminds me of my all-time favorite Dinosaur clip:



I've watched that about 8 times in a row now, and that arm-waving action still cracks me up.

Well, that concludes today's search for the ultimate Cake Rex. I'll just keep looking, then, shall I?
Katie Nelson said...

I LOVE that clip about the little arms :o) It's nice to know that I am not the only person who giggles every time I see the clip...

But, that green dino-thing is quite scary - it made my teeth ache just looking at all of that frosting!

Jenniac said...

I sent you a half dead dino with it's tongue out on 12/3...he's for sure worthy of being a cake wreck

Leslie said...

I was about to comment on how the first cake so closely resembles a pile of green poo, but in that back end shot I see the poo is actually off to the left there. (what else could that glob of icing be?)
They obviously missed the previously mentioned "how NOT to make icing look like poo" class.

Zitny Clan said...

Oh, that first one looks like it's covered with green witch fingers! And that frosting will definitely be nasty on it's way out, if ya know what I mean! ;)

An Apron Straitjacket said...

That was nice of them to at least include the dinosaur-skin rug's knocked out teeth next to his face.

Penny said...

The first dinobyte today....I am not sure the decorator has ever heard of frosting the cake as opposed to covering it with green for lack of a better term turds. This is especially true on the back end.

Fluffy Cow said...

The first is an armadillo. A very sick armadillo...

The video clip is exactly how my brother describes me: A big head and tiny arms!

The rest are... um. Yeah.

WV- reacno. A non-reaction.

All Adither said...

Despite the misplaced pooper, I kind of like that first one.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Leslie, I was basically going to say the same thing you did, but then I got to thinking...maybe that's actually what they were going for??? That's what the big hole on the back of the dino and a strategically placed pile of poo-esque icing tells me. Plus, the look on his face is what my puppy looks like after he's had an accident.

Liz said...

In the last pic... does anyone know what the little yellow sign says on the right side of the cake?

Hi Kooky said...

The little guy is cute in the first photo, but: green poo. Poo, poo, poo.

When I first looked at the destructo cake, I thought, "Wow, they're going for detailed realism. They've got some herbivores dining on... orange and red peppers." Then I noticed the herbivores were actually just skeletal remains. That one makes me laugh.

RecoveringActor said...

Maybe Greg! is a big ol' Ross Gellar...and he really like dino skeletor...maybe...

Shay said...

Intestines, bwahahahahaaa

Alix said...

Love the gallery, Jen. But the first dino is actually an asparagus monster. It's obvious hon. Get with it.

miss boo said...

The second one is kind of cute in a way. But still... what situation calls for a cross-eyed dinosaur cake? The mind! It boggles!

Amy said...

Ummm....I really have no comment. Just a horror-struck expression as I shake my head over these wrecks.
Amy B

Trevor said...

The first cake is supposed to be a Fat Buddy. Mike Terry created those (and even showed them off at the ICES convention this past year). I'll try to find a picture in my files of the real one so you have a "missed mark" to compare it to.

Military Crunchy Mama said...

For the first one my son said that it's a "Munion Spider" (whatever that is). After looking at several pictures he said, "Why did they do that?"
I didn't have an answer for him

Bonnie said...

the green thing...is it foam around his mouth or knocked out teeth? that is truly monsterous...I think he might be as close Rex-worthy as you're going to get. Shiny rows of green poo? Priceless...

~Bonnie B~

pednurse said...

At least that last one says "For Display Only"----no one will suffer for the eating of it! LOL

Becky B said...

Everytime I see that swirly frosting made from the huge circle tip I don't know the number of, I want to throw up in my mouth a little. It just seems it can't look like anything BUT what it looks like! And as I type this, I must add the irony of the "word verification" which is showing, "HEINI". There you have it.

Mari said...

That first one looks like a drunken 'baker' tried to make something out of Dr. Seuss! Thanks for posting, you're really helping my diet : )

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

Awesome! That green "cake" is particularly horrifying! I'm all for icing, but it looks like nothing but icing. Please tell me that no one ate it! They'll have green teeth for a week!

Beth said...

I believe that would be the large intestine, or colon, actually. Not that that really improves the situation.

Anonymous said...

The plastic-looking dino - there is a sign at the lower right of the cake that says "for display only." ??

Ream O Rama said...

Y'all don't think that first one looks like a green armadillo?

And the T Rex looked more like "T Rex head on a platter" to me.

Bet said...

Yes, the pile of poo in the first pic is amazing. And is that milk in a Corona bottle?

hots4hobbits said...

HAHA my mom and I went to see Meet the Robinsons JUST for that dino!!! :)

Kimberly said...

the last guy looks like he's being sucked into the primordial ooze... yuck!

Jen said...

That is the BEST clip ever!! That first "cake"... oooh the green poo... And check the weird lizard 'tocks on that thing!!

Tranquility said...

The first two were actually very adorable. The last couple were just plain SCARY! Why were the dino's dead?... On a cake? Creepy!

Lisa said...

"What the heck... is that someone's small intestine draped over the side?!?"

Thank you for putting Monday back on better ground--I laughed out loud (loudly and for a long time) at this question.

Anonymous said...

I don't know, that green glob of a cake up top is the worst thing I've seen in a while.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Is the rest of that plastic dinosaur IN the cake? Disturbing.

Oh, and I love the "little arms" clip too!

Evie said...

That first cake looks like an Armadillo to me. Well, you know, if Armadillos were green :D.

I love too that the cake decorators have just given up on decorating and just chucked inedible plastic on the cakes instead :).

Laura ~Peach~ said...

love the video clip I had to buy the movie after seeing it on the comercials and it is hysterical...

that first wreck reminds me of ... do you recall that tube of stinky plastic stuff with the straw that you globbed it on the straw then were to blow it up like a balloon? well it looks alot like it... or a really sick critter laid some nastys... EWWWWWWWWWWW

milkyway said...

The one with the head sticking out makes me think of the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios... anyone been there? It's fairly fun, but there's one part where you are on the boat going under a pipe, and all of a sudden the pipe bursts open above you and the massive dinosaur head comes down on top of you.

I love the pun possibilities. Totally Rex-tastic. :)

Elizabeth Staley said...

I think that first one would be a great mascot! Hooray for Rex! :)

Rachel T. said...

Love the video clip!! But I feel sorry for ALL the cake recipients of today's posts.

Word verification: scropow - the noise a punch makes in a graphic novel scene.

Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to poo green just from looking at that thing.

April said...

Oh good I'm not the only adult that laughs my head off at that clip no matter how many times I see it.

I think the green poo-somewhat-resembling-a-flattened-dino cake is definitely a Cake Rex.

Leslie said...

Courteous Chihuahua....you know you're right. I don't know how I missed the gaping sphincter staring me in the face.
I never thought I'd use those words when referring to a cake though. I think a little piece of my childlike innocence just died.

Matt C. said...

Earlier this year I was at a party with one of that last cake. The ratio of frosting to cake on that thing is so dangerously close to 1:1 that you might as well think of it as a giant CCC.
For those playing the home game, only the middle of the top is plastic and motion-sensor-activated dinosaur.

blade girl said...

are you sure the yellow sign says, "for display only" or
"to display UGLY"?

Craig said...

You can include me in both the group that thinks the first dino design is a little scatological and the group that cracks up at the tiny arms clip.

Mella said...

I don't want to know how my uhm toilette left overs look after having eaten the green one

greenduckiesgirl said...

That is my absolute favorite clip from the entire movie. The movie is awesome enough but that makes me giggle all the time. Plus the "I'm just not sure this plan was well thought out." Hee!

I love your blog and sent yesterday's link to a friend who loves Coach purses. She thanks you profusely for finding it.

Dana

MonkeyPunk said...

Maybe it isn't an enthusiastic greeting. Maybe Greg is responsible for the mayhem we see.

Kel said...

These two posts have ADORABLE winter cakes. The penguins are so cute :)

http://cookingismypassion.blogspot.com/2008/12/you-know-its-getting-little-out-of-hand.html

http://cookingismypassion.blogspot.com/2008/11/delectable-cake-elves.html

Anonymous said...

I've been a lurker for a while and never posted, but now I must. That first green... dinosaur... thing looks like it was made out of asparagus. Dinosparagus. Bleh. Bleh! BLEH!

-Redgryphon

Elizabeth said...

The Nessie and Nestor cakes are CUTE! - if a little befuddling...

That big head and little arms thing makes me crack up every time!

Karlise said...

The first one looks like an armadillo to me. A spiky armadillo...not a dino.

=Tamar said...

I like them all! The first one is a cartoon. I suspect the after-the-meteor one really was intended to be that way, and there are bones near the guts of the latest meal of the last one - that's too big to be even a proto-human gut. Perfect for, say, an eight-year-old boy.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

"I don't know how I missed the gaping sphincter staring me in the face."

My personal goal for today: See how many times I can work that sentence into a conversation.

stewbert said...

That is my absolute favorite part of that movie. I giggle, too. :)

The Chic Cakery said...

Not to mention that Nestor is doing his best Groucho Marx impression. Yeesh...

DNfromMN said...

the ground on the GREG! cake looks like vomit.

Anonymous said...

"And is that milk in a Corona bottle?"

I think those Corona bottles are salt and pepper.

Word verification: forkines. I don't want to stick my fork-ines into these cakes! I would lose it in the mounds of green frosting!

Licketysplit said...

Greg's cake is AWESOME. Maybe it's due to all the something something I did in college, but I would love to have that cake.

But yeah, I could do that at home with the help of a 2-year-old. And now I'm going to have to.

Katie said...

The green poo cake is bad enough but why is it so shiny? That makes it much worse.

misa said...

In the first cake whether or not they intended for the poo hole to be off center, at least they were smart enough to place the poo pile in the proper place. An "F" for Cake Decorating, but an "A" in Poo Trajectory!

Mandi said...

Is that first one Alf's recluse green-poo cousin?

qnofharts.blogspot.com

Kore said...

Ugh, that first dino cake reminds me of what I cleaned out of my kid's diaper last night.

Valky said...

I'm with Alix on this one: That first one is SO obviously a green asparagus monster. Someone's mom is clearly an evil genius intent on forcing her child to eat his asparagus, even if it is made out of frosting and will inevitably turn his poo green and rot out half of his teeth.

And that clip from Meet the Robinsons? The arm wiggle is made of 100% pure, unfiltered win-sauce.

Anonymous said...

Eek!! There's more icing than cake on that first one!!! Sugar rush anybody?

meowsqueak said...

Of course, "after the meteor hits" would make it a meteorite... ;)

Katy said...

LOL I love the dinosaur clip! That's one of my favorite things about that movie! :D

Jenn said...

Meet The Robinsons is the best movie ever and I'm not just saying that because I am one.

That first dino looked like green poo.

accidental altruist said...

my nearly 14 year old dughter does that dinosaur bit all the time. Now I've seen the original! yay.

camilla said...

Oddly the first one said Alf or anteater to me not dinosaur. I'm sure its just me..................

Trini said...

I usually am a full time lurker, but I just had to add my appreciation for that "small arms" clip. Whenever I need a laugh, I beg the BF to say that line (complete with flapping hands). I usually end up on the floor I giggle so hard :)
I find Greg!'s cake to be the worst of this bunch, the exclamation point is just soo sad.

DenaS said...

I've heard of primordial soup, but not primordial frosting.

Cake for Breakfast said...

Jen!
I'm so happy you included the Meet The Robinsons clip. My husband and I use that line all the time when one of us does something we clearly didn't think through..."Aw honey - that was a little arms plan."

Thanks,
Sarah!

blade girl said...

to katie:
the shininess of the poo indicates
"freshness"

Ekio Locatiare said...

Ha ha haahahah ^-^ I saw that last one in my local grocery (Its a shame really, theres this great little bakery installed in there with all these gorgeous cakes and goodies and right down the counter from them is the normal baker...with that dino sticking out on top of the case.)

I saw it and pointed it out to my husband, who promptly said, "No, you can not use my phone to take a picture for the Cake Wrecks blog." lol, he's caught on to me already!

Deborah Godin said...

First one looks like it was "decorated" by a flock of Canada geese...which have amazingly fast "transit times" Maybe you've heard the expression...?

Cellar Door said...

I have a cousin Greg who should be getting out of jail about now... At least, it's that time of year...

Alexis said...

That is my FAVORITE clip from a commercial EVER! I seriously used to stop fast forwarding through commercials just to watch it :)

Karin said...

That's my favorite clip - I think EVER!

Feisty Irish Wench said...

Oh yay! another round of sugary goodness that creates technicolor um...waste.

muchmorethanmommy said...

That clip from "Meet The Robinsons" makes me laugh every.single.time. I come to your site about every day anyway, but I may be bookmarking this post just for that! Love it!

Lizzie said...

I work at a kids birthday party place, and i see the 2nd and the 4th cake ALL the time. I kind of wonder about the fourth one at times. The lava doesnt always turn out well

Shaun Krisher said...

http://flickr.com/photos/dfluff/2982515008/

it's not a wreck, but I just needed to make sure you were aware of dinosaur comics: qwantz.org

Davor said...

Don't worry about Nessie - there's no debate about it. While there were plenty of big, scary aquatic reptiles back in the day, none of them were dinosaurs. Of course, I do consider penguins to be actual dinosaurs, so they have learned to swim in the last 65 million years... I'll stop. Sorry.

Lisa said...

I think that first one should be classified as a FROSTING wreck instead of a CAKE wreck!

Apple said...

OOO That last cake we actually had for my 6yr old's birthday party.

Wanna see how it's "Supposed" to look (other than whoever tried to pipe my kids name on the side needs to learn how to space things out a bit)
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y66/CoopNWhitsMommy/DSC03566-1.jpg

And only the dino and the thing the dino sits on is plastic (and the trees) everything else is cake! (and the dino roars so that's bonus!)

Laura said...

It does make you wonder how T-Rex got it's reputation as a ferocious dinosaur with such tiny tiny arms.

The clip cracks me up completely. It makes me giggle as much as the clip from "Bolt" when the hamster is asked by the dog if he's ready for action, and the hamster gives his neck a crack and whispers huskily: "I'll get my ball". Because every miscreant out their is terrified of a hamster in a plastic ball. I know I'd be! Oh wait, I am a Cake Wreck Miscreant!

Kristen said...

That clip from Meet the Robinsons is what got me to see that movie. I crack up every single time over that part. :)

Mad Hatter said...

Im so amazed at the talent put in these cakes.

Andrea said...

"Dino-Mite?" Dino-might not!

Michelle said...

I've been watching that clip and giggling over the arm waving too. I love little silly things like that.

My husband also believes the glob of icing on the green frightful mess is a pile o' poo. Awesome.

Katie said...

Oh god, that's a sad excuse for a dinocake.

If you want the ultimate Rex Cake, try here: http://www.mikesamazingcakes.com/

Easy way to find it is Gallery --> Special Event Cakes --> Second row down, far right. Rawr.

Dani said...

the first one looks like poo. extrodinarily shiny and green poo.

showbaby673 ~ LIZ said...

i had no idea about the dinosaur vid...i about spit out my coffee on that one....someone should've WARNED me!!!!!! lol

DesertDarlene said...

Those are funny! As for that first two with the totally green dinosaur done in loops or something, I sure hope that's cake. It looks like something else I've seen in the toilet only bright green.

DesertDarlene said...

And, what's up with the "intestines" in that one photo?

D.B. Echo said...

I just saw the draped intestine/peekaboo dinosaur cake in a local bakery. The most frightening thing was the price tag: $49.99! Man, did I pick the wrong major in college!

Werd Verification word: floos

talda said...

not to worry, i cracked up at that clip before i even clicked on play! i never saw the movie but that was my favorite part of the trailer.

Jen Vesper said...

I love the big head little arms dino as well...in fact...I just made a Cake Rex the other day based on him. *grin* But I would like to think mine was better than these! LOL

Kaitlin said...

The clip about the little arms cracks me up. I cannot stop laughing on it. And btw I just discovered this blog and I love it. It is too funny.

Chedder Fish said...

That's my favorite clip too- I say it all the time hehe.

karlamagne said...

I saw the T-rex-with-intestine-cake at a local grocery store tonight. Apparently, that's not intestine - it's lava, flowing from a volcano. I don't remember lava looking like intestines, but, hey, I learn something new every day :-D

Anonymous said...

We carry the intestine-Rex cake at our bakery. It's one of our displays. I think every store in the chain has the rex-cake as a default display.

Ours looks exactly the same. This is how it's supposed to look. And it doesn't matter which store you go to, the Rex display--along with the rest of the displays for this particular chain--is never made by any of the decorators in the department. Our displays are mailed to us in boxes. Not only is this exactly how it should look, this is exactly what the company wants the customer to see.

The Rex, BTW, has a battery powered motion-sensor, and the actual plastic is about three inches by four inches. The rest of it is cake and frosting. They just switched the batteries out on our display. It jumps out at every fly/customer/dust laden breeze that goes past. It also has sound.

I think I'm going to kill it.

For the record, our display cakes scare me. I've worked here for a year. Not only are the cakes never changed, EVER, but today one of our decorators got bored and decided to touch the displays up with the airbrush. Because, you know, the frosting looked kinda faded. And dusty. And not very appatizing. Now they look very bright and very clean, and they're still the same damn cakes.

However, I don't think we can switch the displays out, or add to them. Two months ago they shipped us a new display cake. Somebody screwed up the icing getting it out. Nobody fixed it. It just went out with smushed icing. Our manager has better standards than that, and so does our lead decorator. They wouldn't put it out smushed if we were allowed to fix it ourselves. The only thing I can think of is that the displays are some kind of special non-food...stuff that fits in with health code. I have never asked. I'm not one of the decorators (thank. God.) and after the fourth month of seeing the same faded cakes on the stand, I decided I didn't want to know.

Absotootly Posilootly said...

AHHH!!! Nessie DOES have a pig snout... but it appears that it's not connected to a head. Maybe some sick, Jack the Ripper decided to cut off her head and neck, tying the snout to torso with a piece of pink hemp.

And while we're talking about hemp, I've never seen a hollow, green, dinosaur that can poop GREEN wiry hemp in the same shape as itself.

Word Verification: Destie. A cross between despicable and plea: aka, it's so despicable that you plea for it to PLEASE PLEASE GO AWAY.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me the cake I had on my 6th birthday. My birthday is around Christmas time so it's only natural that the cake maintain a Christmas theme by featuring the appropriate colors (green and red... which I have always thought look rather blah together... that and red and pink) along with a Santa figurine. This was no ordinary cake however... due to my curiosity/obsession with dinosaurs at the time, I INSISTED that dinosaurs be present atop the cake as well, along with a volcano and palm trees. Let me tell you, that cake was the bomb diggity. That is the only cake I really remember from any of my past birthdays. If I find a picture I will send it in. It's a keeper. Keep in mind, this cake was designed by a creative 6 year-old, instead of a baker.