Saturday, November 29, 2008

So What Happens If You EAT the Frog?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

A loooong time ago I mentioned my Princess & the Frog Wreck collection. I know the suspense has just been killing y'all since. Well, the wait is now officially over!

First, here's what the design is supposed to look like. (Sort of.)


Kinda cute, huh? Oh, and if that "frog" is looking more like a coiled snake to you, just take comfort in the fact that it's all downhill from here. Aw yeah.

First we have "Princess Pumps Iron":

Hear me now and believe me later: she is here to PUMP [clap] you up! Yaw.

I'm not sure what to make of the pile o' frog there. For the life of me I can't figure out what those little black dots are supposed to be - freckles? Warts?

The misspelled inscription on this one is intentional. The mannish princess and bizarrely splayed frog, however, are not.

And you know I always save the best for last:

Now I know it's hard, but try to look past the evil-villain eyebrows for a moment. I mean, there's so much more Wreckiness here to behold! There's the noodle fingers, the complete lack of legs and feet, the chipmunk nose! And let's not forget the "frog", who has devolved into a levitating stack of green bowling balls. Thank goodness he's got his black dots, though; it's nice to know the decorator has his/her priorities straight.


Thanks to Lauren A., Abby B., & Natalie R.!
Anonymous said...

Oh dear...

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

Your blog is insanely funny. I will never visit a bakery again without searching for a wreck!

Anonymous said...

Ugh! What a horrible cake design.. even the original is vile! The princess in the original looks like she's wearing a dress made of carrots!
And since when does the princess have a wand?
I love how the original cake is for a 30th birthday party too.. nothing like taking your time with the whole growing up thing.

All Adither said...

That last one is still probably better than I could do.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Anonymous said...

My son's best friend has had this cake 2 years on a row! She loves it, not sure why?? (She was only 8 when it started, maybe that's why!)
It's horrendous, yet everytime I go to Costco, they have one for display, so obviously people keep ordering it!
And then you Jen for bringing a little fun into my day, each and every day! For that I thank you!!

JDMom

HorribleLicensePlates said...

at least it doesn't say "It's A Gril," ehhh?

Red said...

The poor poor children who were the recipients of these cakes (including the 30 yr old girls & boy on the 1st cake)... and if you DO eat the frog... well... we hope you'll live to tell about it.

Corey Wilde said...

"Please prooffreed this kake" -- that was deliberate, don't tell me otherwise. I prefer to believe in snarkiness over ignorance.

Liberty :) said...

saved the best until last there didn't you!

Ye gods!

Anonymous said...

Daaaaammmnn.


That's all I've got... just damn.

Hyena Overlord said...

See, this is why I drink Bailey's for breakfast.

The first frog looks like the junkyard owner in a Star Wars movie. The rest are sad but the last is scary. Very scary with the built up icing on the princess face, no legs and evil face. Ick. Sadly, the only wrecky things I can find around here are ice cream cones stuck on the corners of cakes then filled with icing in primary colours. Perhaps I'll have to take a pic of that for ya'll

wvotd...Hessica..."Hessica the transgendered princess/witch/evil dead floating clown, turned the prince back into a frog after the wedding. She now claims possession of all his worldly possessions and his title."

joyce said...

Too funny! And your commenters help me notice stuff---like the dress of carrots. And yeah, princesses kiss frogs, they don't whomp them with magic wands. I hesitate to ask for princess frog kissing on a cakewreck.

Cindi said...

This post caught the attention of my 3 yr old twins. They thought the bowling-ball-frog was a baby bear?! And on Arika's cake, they insisted the frog was a butterfly. ;)

Keiko said...

i love wrecks.

That's all you need to say!

John (the hubby of Jen) said...

Ah Corey?

Yupperdoodles. Jen even put it in the post under the pic.

john

Cake for Breakfast said...

Haha! This was my wedding shower cake. My mom is very loyal to Costco cakes because of the layer of mousse filling they put in them, but apparently they only offer 6 designs. Thank you for bringing this cake to everyone's attention!

ellemenope said...

Jen, did you intentionally skip the um... "phallic" nature of the last frog? Oh my!!

Anonymous said...

At least the writing's nice on the Princess Pumps Iron wreck. Thanks for my morning laughs. Loved every day since finding your site.

L said...

Plese proofread this kake.. seriously?

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The frog on Julia's cake looks like he has to go to the bathroom.

The "It's a Girl" inscription was just a waste of icing. If those green frog breasts don't clue you in, I don't know what will.

Deirdrea said...

Actually the 2nd one, "pumping you up" not withstanding, is the best out of all of these wrecks. All 3 of them deserve to be here but the 2nd one really is the best. The frog even looks the most frog like in that cake.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that I have a son & not a daughter.

Passion Fruit said...

haha!
The creator of that last one needs some time in a corner to think about their actions.



I find number 3 strangely endearing though. I like the scalloped border the most on that one...and the frog's eyes a too cute.

manz said...

I actually think that the second one looks better than the first. I mean, sure, maybe the princess is pumping invisible iron, but at least she looks more like a princess and less like Raggedy Anne dressed as a clown. Also, the frog at least has all of his limbs (the first one looks like it's fore legs have been ripped off). And the black dots? There are many frogs that are green with black speckled skin, which I think is what they're trying to get at. Even the first frog has some black dots trying to be there. All of the others are just plain scary, however.

Kamity said...

I must say, I like the Princess Pumps Iron cake better than the original.



Blech~!

Agatha said...

I actually think the second one doesn't look half bad.

Kenzie said...

I believe the black "plague" dots are supposed to be the frogs' warts??

But I'm gonna stick to believing that the frog is suffering from the Black plauge.

~teachmom~ said...

I actually think the 2nd is better than the first, but I do see where there's a problem here....esp. with that last! Whew! And we DO pay these "professionals," right!? Sighs.

An Apron Straitjacket said...

When I pulled up the last cake pic, my 4 yo daughter came over and said, "Ohhh look Mommy, a mean clown and a green bear!".

Anonymous said...

I recognize this cake! It was featured on dooce.com when Heather's mom bought one for Leta's birthday.

I just found it in the archives - http://www.dooce.com/2008/02/05/newsletter-month-forty-eight

Her description of the cake: "I think that's supposed to be a princess? Maybe someone's sickly Aunt Maude who battles recurring goiters?"

Debbi said...

I am once again rendered speechless (much to my husband's delight).

My word verification is "nertd". I am now laughing so hard my puppy is giving me funny looks ...

Mari said...

I kind of liked the second one, for a three year old, anyway!

harrellj said...

Poor Mark, his 30th birthday cake has a princess and a frog on it. Is he supposed to be the frog (and Candice and Julie alternate as the princess)? With the 3 names, it almost screams as a workplace cake and bad planning, since it looks like someone ran to the grocery store, picked a pre-made cake and demanded the inscription.

Jenn said...

Aw those poor little froggies. Obviously someone, somewhere, is dining on frog legs... especially the last one.

Jenny's Vegcafe said...

My daughter Julia was the "poor recipient" of the 4th birthday cake and she thought it was awesome.

And they did a much better decorating job than I could have.

We all have our opinions, I just wish you hadn't lifted my daughter's birthday cake picture from my webpage to make fun of it. It was a happy day for all of us and this just makes me sad.

John (the hubby of Jen) said...

Dear Jenny,

Sorry about that. Almost all of our pictures are sent in by readers and we don't ever go onto other blogs and "lift" photos. The picture has been removed.

John

sues2u2 said...

AAAAGGHHHH! It's attack of the killer frogs w/ their evil smiles & black dots! Plus the whole princess thing. Some of those are, well, I just don't think I can go there!

holly said...

Cake #2 is better than #1. The princess doesn't have pumped up delts, she has puffed sleeves! You know, the kind Anne-spelled-with-an-E longed for.

And people? Read Jen's comments *as well as* look at the pics. The intentionals are usually spelled out there for you.

Sarah :) said...

HAHA. I love your website!

I have noticed, in the last few weeks here, a few Douglas Adams references, and I cried a little each time. I'm just now getting around to commenting about it, but whatever. Things get busy sometimes. (:

---Sarah

Amy said...

Actually I think "Princess Pumps Iron" is the best rendition. But the frogs could all use a little work. Personally, I like this frog:

http://4thfrog.blogspot.com

:)

Jenny said...

Yikes. That first cake is most definitely not what it's supposed to look like. The second is near spot on what the sample cake looks like in the pic at Costco though. We got one for my neice's blessing and it was way cute. Actually, I always order cakes from Costco (because they taste so darn good) and every time I pick one up I'm hoping for a wreck that I can send here and have yet to ever get a wreck-worthy cake. It's always a relief and a sad moment at the same time. lol

Anonymous said...

You have to give the last cake credit... they used it's correctly.

Shay said...

Awww... well I at least like the green fire on the last one. That is green fire right??

Mad Izatie said...

FINALLYYYYYYYY YAYYYY the Princess and The Frog wrecks as promised! :D

briana said...

under the last cake's frog it should read "save the ta-tas!"

Peas on Earth said...

Oh my! :-)

By the way, I disagree with the person who said he/she wouldn't buy a shirt simply because they had your website on them. Oh, Pooh! Isn't that the whole point?? In fact, just before I read that comment I was thinking I needed to comment that the deer in flames shirt needed the URL on it!

Wreck on! :-)

Maomie said...

Oh no...but it's hilarious!

Honey Bee said...

That princess on the last cake had some very scary eyelashes - in fact they looked a bit like my dad's out of control eyebrows!

Liisi said...

Uhh... Why does the princess have a beard?

Serena said...

Personally, I think the second one is actually a bit better than the first... who are Candice, Julia, and Mark, and why would they want a Princess & Frog cake for their 30th birthday? (That was 30th, right?)
At least the 3 year old has a pretty white background, and a prettier-looking princess. The first princess... well, she didn't look so great.

~Jenn Danza~ said...

Forget balls that frog's got boobs!

mmason said...

I think the magic wand is supposed to be a scepter.

And I'm with Cindi's 3 year olds - that frog does look like a butterfly (in drag, perhaps?).

My first take of Cake #1 was that it was a cruel commentary on some 30 year old's birthday. As in "Ha Ha, you're not married". But the fact it was to 3 people (one ostensibly male), kinda blew that theory. Just as well. That would have been a mean BD cake. Then I read the comment that someone got that for their bridal shower!!! Well, I suppose as long as they enjoyed the joke it's all good.

Mistylynn said...

I'm so sorry that there were more wrecks of this cake out there. I almost didn't buy that darn eyebrowed princess when I saw her, but I had to because I was already running late to the baby shower. I still feel bad about it, sorry Nat. She was horrid.
Misty

klynch said...

PBLTTT haaahaaaaaaaaa
love the cakes they are too funny

Momza said...

Okay those cakes are frightening!
Love your blog--I knwo find myself wishing I carried a camera around when I shop, cuz I've seen some real doozies lately! Especially Turkey-themed cakes...{{{{{Shudder}}}}.
THanks for sharing!
http://momza.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

i think the second cake is better than the example cake. the first one looks like the princess is made out of a giant...you know. also, the colors are better on the second one.

Scritzy said...

Some apologies to Neil Diamond here ...

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed
Of being a cake ...
And then became one.

Well, except for the tips and some pretty bad icing,
If you talk about these,
The story's the same one.


Thanks for making me wash a contact right out of my eye with tears of laughter!

Word verification: untswarc. I'm not even going there.

Tracy said...

So, the frog & princess cake for a 30 year old? Is that supposed to be a dig that she's still single?

Anonymous said...

I actually liked the two ones in the middle... O_o It was kinda cute in a child's drawing kinda way.

Anonymous said...

what about the breasts on all of the princesses?? Very strange.

=Tamar said...

Actually, I like the third one best and the second one is better than the first. The frog is cute and the fairy princess (hence the wand) is bearable.

valarie said...

eeek, even the first cake is wierd! the frog has a schnoze, the chocolate, purple and orange make her look like a halloween witch instead of a birthday princess.

The cake should be created to begin with, let alone replicated.

domino_dreams said...

I haven't read through all the comments, so I may have missed a mention, but..

Ok, am I the only one who noticed the oddly phallic crown on the frog on the last cake? Or fireworks shooting out of the head of the frog in another one?

What the heck?

Dave-o-ramA said...

The bottom couple of frogs look an awful lot like they've got three eye-stalks growing out of their heads.

Lizzi said...

#3 is not a frog. It's a frog-leafed clover. Very rare.

Ferris said...

cake number 3, that's not even a frog. it's a green butterfly "standing" (floating would be a better word, perhaps) on the floor for some incoherent anatomical reason.

Cupcakes Lady said...

lol...splayed frog...classic lol xx