Monday, November 24, 2008

Fall Fumbles

Monday, November 24, 2008

(Once again you guys are outdoing yourselves with the Wrecky holiday submissions. So, prepare for some marathon Thanksgiving posts from now 'til T-day!)



It's a football! It's a turkey! It's a...a...stitched up frankencake with pom-poms! And hey, who needs decorating skills when you can just dump the dollar store's clearance bin in with the cake, right, Carol G.?



Apparently Dudley Do Right wishes us all a happy Thanksgiving. Jacquelyn G., do you suppose the decorator actually used shrimp for those ears, or just made it look that way?


"Pumpkins", Lynz B.? You sure those aren't supposed to be melons? (Bah dum bump!)




Kathryn M found this guy. He's supposed to be a scarecrow, so, you know, props to the decorator for really nailing the "scare" part. I know I'm frightened. I mean, it looks like a wookie in a clown suit. A wookie who shaved his face and then used too much self-tanner, I mean.

Of course, scarecrows are pretty complicated to make. So how about a nice candy-corn shaped cookie? Nothing easier than that, right?


Oh come on! Are you kidding me?!?

Never mind, Mary D., just...just never mind.
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Yikes! I think the turkey and the scarecrow were made by Jack the Ripper!

The Kitchen Gadget Goddess said...

Dudley Do Right? Totally a CCC!!!!!! What a big , effing wreck!!!!

Persnickety Ticker said...

Thank you! Those were wrecktastic! Keep 'em coming!

Leslie said...

Ahh nothing starts off my morning right like huge tracts of...pumpkin. And the scarecrow DOES look like a wayward wookie. I really have to say something about that candy corn cookie though - I was scrolling through the post to get to Sunday sweets and my first thought was, "Hey an autumnal gay pride cookie...cool". Candy corn would NOT have been my first thought.

Emily said...

That first one looks like a c-section gone awry.

RamblingDreamer said...

I don't know what's wrong with me. I actually thought the turkey/football cake was kind of cute. I blame my near-total lack of sleep for that.

That last one, though. The candy corn one. ROFL! I'm crushed by the sheer awfulness of that one. It's even upside down - the base of the candy corn is the darkest orange part, not the white. That's for the tip. They didn't even get THAT right. *Facepalm*

What's Her Face said...

I think the cookies wins this one hands down.

Ali said...

Haha!!! The wookie in a clown suit thing was so funny I had to call my husband! On point as usual Jen, keep up the hilarious work!

creativekeys said...

What's going on?!!? I mean, I do realize that it's Monday morning and all - but how do you, oh cakewreck goddess, FAIL to mention that not one, but TWO of these atrocities are dreaded CCCs?!??!?! I've grown to expect MUCH more from you, and always look forward to some witty comment pertaining to the wreckiness that are cupcake cakes.

*sigh* - into the rum and eggnog already? It's not even December!

Anonymous said...

That football/turkey looks like an autopsy was performed! And the candy corn cookie made me spit my coffee out! "A" for effort on that one! (eyes rolling)

Trevor said...

I'm impressed that you didn't even mention two of those were CCC's, which obviously makes them even MORE wreck-tastic!

I thought the scarecrow was maybe the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz. Very ugly, as is Dudly!

Jen said...

Gotta love the candy corn cake. That's pure, unadulterated laziness right there.

catmania said...

Wow - does anyone else think that the 2nd one looks like the Lucky Charms leprachaun, but with a brown hat? The third one looks totally like boobs on top of a big hairy green mutant spider. Mr Scarecrow looks kinda like the cowardly lion & scarecrow mated. Once again, thanks for the much needed Monday laugh.

Amanda said...

Uh, I don't mean to make your day even more wreck-y. But I'm pretty sure that scarecrow is also a CCC. Those tricksy decorators are getting sneaky on you!

Thistledew Farm said...

So funny - can't wait to see how creative it gets as we count down to T-day!!!!

abby snow said...

That scarecrow reminds me of the tree man that was on TLC the other night. http://reviewsion.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/tree-man.jpg

An Apron Straitjacket said...

Candy Corn Cookie or Alien Cult Sign? You decide....

Etiquette Bitch said...

omg. my first thought on cw3 (that's "cake wreck #3") was "boobs." and i couldn't figure why the scarecrow had such puffy legs...til I realized he's a CCC. scary and funny today! the candy corn cookie had me guffawing out loud. thanks, jen!

Lisa said...

Those pumpkins are kinda scary. They look like eyeballs popping out. I am always amazed at what your wreakporters are able to find. My local grocery store isn't that interesting. . .I guess thats a good thing.

HW2K said...

So the top 'turkey' cake is obviously a football cake that they doctored up with some add ons- still wrecktastic, but explains the stitches.

shrewmouse said...

The "Dudley Do Right" cake looks like Lucky the Leprechaun from the Lucky Charms cereal box.

Laylabean said...

I love that the candy corn is even upside down. Isn't the pointy side supposed to be white?

Flartus said...

Those "melons" look like alien pods waiting to burst open after we're stuffed to the gills on Thanksgiving, emerging to suffocate us all on our couches.

word verification: artanger, Will Robinson!

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I think the "least effort award" goes to the candy corn.

Also, it looks like that first cake just had a c-section.

tellicherry said...

It's either a candy corn cookie or a satanic death symbol. Classic!

Misguided Mommy said...

the first one looks like a turkey that had a C-section..must have been some big cupcakes it delivered for that big of a scar

Caitie Miller said...

With that candy corn thing, They didn't even try did they?

I like the boob cake though. I want to get one of those for my husband. He'd love it.

Soggy Carrot said...

Not only is the candy corn upside-down (in addition to its all-around patheticness), but the color scheme is wrong too. Yellow is supposed to be the base color, orange in the middle and white for the tip.

Joanie6726 said...

The scarecrow cake looks like the Cowardly Lion swiped the Scarecrow's clothes.
The candycorn cake? FAIL!

All Adither said...

ZOMG, your commentary is so darn hysterical.

Thanks for the morning laugh.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

loriannjmu said...

The pilgrim looks like he's been stung by bees - swollen with boils on his face. What were they thinking?

Peggy said...

The third cake is obviously the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

But the Candy Corn one, yeah never would have figured that out . . .

Lose That Girl said...

Duddley Do Right has *what exactly* to do with Thanksgiving?? Even in Canada, we wouldn't use him!

docterv said...

The football turkey appears to be shackled with golden handcuffs. It's a very SPECIAL holiday!

And my first thought on the pilgrim was Leprechaun too.

sues2u2 said...

I really appreciate the monday am laugh! It sure makes mondays less painful!

Sara Lou said...

Hey - just because the turkey had an emergency C-Section... no reason to criticize!! LOL! Maybe she laid the golden egg?

Kj said...

The candy corn makes me so happy.

Amy said...

Those are all funny! I like the turkball..er..footturkey..uh..
And the candy corn cookie looks like the Frat house's Greek Lettering. Delta, I believe?
~Amy B

Kansas girl said...

Dorothy knew she wasn't in Kansas any more, but she thought things were going ok, all things considered. She didn't really start to worry until she found straw scattered everywhere and the Cowardly Lion wearing the Scarecrow's tattered clothing...

Meg said...

At first glance I thought our Dudley Do Right pilgrim friend was Quagmire from Family Guy. Giggity!

JennyKitten76 said...

It kinda looks like the decorator of the candy corn cookie is trying to send some message to her AA friends... ;)-

Motorcycle Grandma said...

They are all awful. But the candy corn cookie is totally wrong. How hard would if have been to get a piece of candy corn to use as a guide??

Frozen Gauntlet said...

Are you sure that's a candy corn? It looks like a satanic symbol to me. Then again, everything looks like a satanic symbol to me.

CaliGirl9 said...

#1 equals turkey autopsy by an obvious football fan.

One might argue that scarecrow might actually be a decent template for a Raggedy Annie or Andy CCC. Not so sure about the scarecrow with that color "outfit," but it might be cute in the R A&A reds and such ...

Madame Editor-in-Chief and DJ Anthology said...

The cookie is the laziest piece of baking artistry I have ever seen.

jen bryner said...

OMGOSH! the candy corn cookie is just hilarious! it really 'takes the cake':) hahahahaha

RobynNewt said...

I chuckled through the first four, came up with a few good quips, but when I hit the "candy corn cookie" all was lost. Come on, guys, put in some effort!!! At least cut the thing into a triangle!!!

Josie said...

Turkey had babies by dark alley-cesarean.

Amy Tweten said...

Oh dear. The "scare crow" looks like a cross between a teddy bear and an 80s workout video. What is the world coming to!

Elena said...

The candy corn is in honor of Gay Pride - just a few months late...

Walking With Scissors said...

Poor Dudley Do Right looks like he's got a bad case of mumps. Or a few boils. Or several tumors coming out of his chin. He really should get that looked at. It looks painful.

TexPatriate said...

Pumpkins as melons = amusing
Footurkey (close cousin to tofurky) = ramped up humor
Candy corn (o.0) cookie = EPIC fial.

*laughs until tears squirt out*

"oumary" -- Yep, that's what *SHE* said.

Anonymous said...

ROFL at the candy corn...


and I am not trying to be mean here...

BUT...

PEOPLE.

We can click on your name if we want to go to your website. It makes you look desperate when you need to also put your blog address in the comments EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

Anonymous said...

"looks like a wookie in a clown suit"....THAT DID ME IN!!!! And it's very quiet today in the office since everyone is out for vacation...trying to smother my laughter was an even greater failure than usual.

The 'candy corn'...oh dear...that's just sad....and pretty freakin' funny.

Thanks for making my Monday so much better!

~Bonnie B~

Mari said...

Why does that first guy have a belt buckle on his head?

I guess he's supposed to be a pilgrim, but he looks more like a leprechaun to me...

and the scarecrow does look like a crime victim!

Awesome wreckiness

Kate R said...

I think the scarecrow looks like the cowardly lion and the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz had a freaky love child.

Sarah Pearce said...

If the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion had a lovechild ...

Nevermind, I don't want to see a cake decorator's interpretation of the act.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

My 4 year old is reading over my shoulder with running commentary. When we got to the cake with two "pumpkins" on it she said, "Oooo, mom, it's a scary moneter eyes."

And then at the candy corn cookie she said, "Oooo, mom, it's a triangle orange pizza with whipped cream on it."

Wookie in a clown costume and Franken turkey. I love your blog!!!

Anonymous said...

>>It kinda looks like the decorator of the candy corn cookie is trying to send some message to her AA friends... ;)-<<

That's what I was thinkin'. No matter
how many cookies you wreck for the
holidays, you don't have to take a
drink. ; )

Stacy said...

That second one looks like Super Mario as a pilgrim. And the scarecrow is SCARY.

Laura said...

Maybe it's because I am being dense, or maybe it's cos I'm English but whats the last one as I have no idea what candy corn is.

Laura said...

And why is there a random Special Dark bar hanging out under the turkey-football?

Toni Marie said...

I don't hate the turkey/football cake except the dollar store crap thrown on it. As a football fan, I kind of dig it otherwise.

Wookie in a clown suit is CLASSIC... it's going to be one of those things that will pop into my head from time to time.


word verification: proptlom
And no, I don't have a point to that

April said...

I'm surprised you didn't comment on how the scarecrow and the dudley-do-right cakes were Cupcake cakes. However i must confess, i find the scarecrow adorable.

Ms Ashley said...

The football turkey looks like he just got done with an autopsy!

Bill said...

Wow, that's not candy corn, that's the Deathly Hallows.

Nerd comment, thank you very much...

kayla said...

that candy corn one looks like a really pathetic takeoff on the cover art of "Dark Side of the Moon".

Nancy said...

The colors aren't even the right way on the candy corn, white goes on the top, then orange, then yellow!

TerraD said...

Okay, so that last one is ridiculous. How sad and pathetic that the decorator couldn't even be bothered to cut out a triangle. Definitely not worth the $7/hr. they 're probably getting paid.

Risha said...

Hey Laura, this is candy corn. Named for the shape, not the flavor - it's just a slightly squishy sugar candy.

For the record, that one was the funniest thing I've seen all month!

Aviatrix said...

First thought: Is that a football with pilgrims on it? I then considered the post-caesarian turkey interpretation, but couldn't quite make the lumps into wings or drumsticks. Either way, what are the little figures? Football players?

And then whatever the tool that is used to make the .. squiggles on the Wookie needs to be taken away from that decorator.

I like your reader's "can a four-year-old tell what it is" test for decorated cakes.

Keep 'em coming.

Becky B said...

Even my 3 year looked at the first picture and happily declaired, "It's a football cake!" Incidentally, I saw nearly the same one at the store today and wished I'd brought my camera! Thankfully there are plenty of these to go around.

vv said...

Ok now heaven forbid you make the cooking into a triangle shape but the minimunm you could do is get it isn the right color or hey even better just fromst the triangle portion
How lazy are these people

harmzie said...

The colours on the "candy corn" are actually pretty impressive. Even the blending! It's almost like they HAD a Candy Corn to model from and then... oh, I don't know... ate it?

Where I come from, basic shapes are covered in pre-school. It shouldn't have been too hard to pull this one from the fires of wreck-dom

joyce said...

Dear Laura from England---candy corn is featured in the colored triangular pieces making the turkey feather "fan" in the turkey cupcakes in the post from the day before. Candy corn is big here in the USA at Halloween.

Scritzy said...

My hysterectomy scar looks better than whatever happened to that turfootball.

My first thought when I saw Shrimp Ears was, "What does a leprechaun have to do with Thanksgiving?"

The scarecrow's suit looks like something from the mid-1970s, when polyester was king.

And the cookie ... No. Just no.

Angie said...

Holy MOTHER! How many cupcakes do you think are involved in that giant Scarecrow????? I can't look away from its huge legs. It's GIANT! How many people are you trying to feed with that monster??

clkight said...

looks like the scarecrow and cowardly lion had a love child...

xoxo,
carrie

Nikki said...

Poor turkey must've had a recent c-section...

Nikki

mere9 said...

that last cake (cookie?) reminds me of a 'dark side of the moon' album cover art reject.

Hope said...

The Dudley Do Right looks like he's got the mumps. I wouldn't eat that one for fear of getting them as well.

Abby*Lane said...

That second one looks like the Lucky Charms guy! haha! And that cookie... wow. words fail me.

Alix said...

At first glance, the turkey football does indeed look like it had an emergency Caesarian section, but after careful study I'm pretty sure it's gastric bypass surgery. I mean, look at that waistline!

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com
(desperation free and with no apologies to Anonymous at 11:45)

Jeanne said...

The more I see of this stuff the more I wonder:

are people actually BUYING these cakes/cookies/etc? I mean, I know you'd probably have to buy one just to take the picture to send in, but presumably the stores are paying people to produce this ... stuff; and there are other people who are paying good money to BUY these wrecks!!

Ale said...

I usually just read your blog and barely comment... but OMG! That candy corn is just sad! In all its simplicity is the saddest thing ever!

Cara said...

Ok, that scarecrow has got some really unfortunate hips. And the candy corn cookie? Looks more like a Pink Floyd logo.

Teacher of the Year said...

Anon @ 11:45 - THANK YOU!!!!

Anonymous said...

Okay ... I am pretty much 100% convinced that Dudley is a CCC ... right?

Emily said...

What's with the scarecrow's massive thighs? I mean, it's a CCC. It's not like he needs to stand up on them!

minerva1822 said...

wow..those cakes are sad..yet amusing...awesome blog

Unicorn Girl said...

That's supposed to be a candy corn cookie? You know, you'd think that by now these professionals would have at least heard of cookie cutters.

See you in a bit. I going into the other room to cry.

sweettc said...

ok Ummm I didnt get the entire candy corn thing until i tilted my head and thought long and hard about it.

I had then read the caption and look at it again. OMG I then laughed loud enough to make my boss come and look at my computer screen she is in her office reading the entire blog.

Ty cakewrecks

quinn said...

Deconstructed Candy Corn.

Dig it.

JetpackAngel said...

The 'candy corn cookie' had me rolling on the floor. How FREAKING HARD could it be to at least cut the friggin' thing?!

I find myself curious: do the turkey-football's legs come off? Do you get a drumstick of sugar-coated goodness? Or are they solid icing?

Much to my chagrin, I've learned that my phone refuses to send pictures to my email. This sucks, as I am thus unable to send you some truly atrocious creations that I've seen on display at my job's bakery.

April M said...

I don't know what I liked more, the fact that the "turkey" appeared to have gold "wingcuffs" or that it pooped out a wrapped Hershey's Dark Chocolate Miniature bar!

Feisty Irish Wench said...

First thought was that the turkey cake was actually recovering from a cesarean delivery...of what I don't know, nor do I WANT to know.

Bailey's Leaf said...

The candy corn wins.

Dr. E. said...

Wow... that candy corn cookie is CRAPTACULAR! (points for alliteration!)

Serena said...

Wow... the one is supposed to be a Pilgrim, right? I thought that it was a leprechaun at first--thinking "how do you screw up St Patrick's Day and Thanksgiving??"

Mary D said...

The candy-corn cookie is mine and YES I bought it. Here's why -- it was more than half off. I love those cookies but usually am too cheap to buy one. How could I pass up this Wreck for less than a dollar?

existential.tupperware said...

What exactly is that to the lower left of the turkey/football cake?

It looks suspiciously like the RAT that was just delivered by C-section.

Passion Fruit said...

I laughed and laughed until I got to the cookie. Then I cried.

Really?

Don't they have cutting implements that side of the moon?

Jen L. said...

I started laughing aloud at "wookie in a clown suit" and fell onto the floor at the candy corn. JEEZ. That looks like something I would give my husband if I were kidding.
Oh, the hilarity!

Havocec said...

Are they plastic surgery cakes? I see lots of stitches and some orange boobies.

The scarecrow looks like an ompaloompa that forgot to shave.

Is that triangle cake a candy corn?

wvotd. heast. to heave with great effort. " I shall heast these wrecks into the dumpster"

Emily Kline said...

You fail to mention that both the pilgrim face AND the scarecrow are CCC's!

Jenn said...

The cookie is just WAY too funny and wreckable.

And the "pumpkins" need a censor bar.

Just saying.

Liz said...

I'm goin' with "What's Her Face" ahahahhaha

Hammy said...

Ha, the first one looks like a turkey with a c-section scar.

Maggie said...

Oh, my gosh! That candy corn cake had me literally LOL! And the ears reeeeaaaaally look like shrimp!

Anonymous said...

that first one looks like a headless mouse with stitches, who in the path of a falling garbage can.

Miranda said...

Candy corn fail! Bwahahahaha!

Wow, the holidays really bring 'em out! I'm dying here.

Anonymous said...

Candy corn cookie? Looks like a chip you'd get from a 12-step program for getting through Thanksgiving sober.

Laura said...

Thanks for explaining what a candy corn is. I feel less dense now!

Nic said...

I showed my husband the candy corn cookie, told him what it was and his response was:
"That doesn't look like a candy corn at all. It looks like some kind of medallion used in witchcraft."

Boumama said...

The Dudley actually brought one word to my mind, looking at that questionable jawline--GIGGITY!

Kristin aka kjnohr aka Trekkie Gal said...

Those really do seem to be shrimp used as ears. Can you say EWWWW???

Carmen said...

Whew! I see I'm not the only one who saw the candy corn as a take on the Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon album cover.

Jean said...

OMG...the poor turkey had a hysterectomy!

Alia said...

Dudley Do-Right appears to have a serious case of the mumps!

The Fiskeaux Family said...

Oh my gosh, I have GOT to stop reading your commentary while I'm pregnant. Either that or I need to do more Kegels so I don't embarrass myself...

Shari said...

Love the blog!

But...for anyone who watched TLC or the Discovery Channel, doesn't Scarecrow look Tree Man-esque??

LOL

Anonymous said...

Just stumbled on your website yesterday, and reading through your blogs, very funny, love the cakes haha I had actually never heard or seen CCC's before yesterday haha we don't do 'em here. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I actually thought the scarecrow was cute O_o

Cupcakes Lady said...

The candy corn cake...Laziness of the highest order. Why even bother! lol xx