Saturday, November 15, 2008

And For That Crowning Touch...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

So Shawn sent in this "specialty" cake:

Which might lead one to question what their "specialty" is. Hmm. Things from Down Under, perhaps? [smirk]

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Gee, Jen, I wish I could see that from another angle and with more color saturation," aren't you? Aha! I knew it. Well, luckily for you, Formica D. also sent in a photo of the exact same cake:



Wow. I don't know about you guys, but seeing that top "pile" in all its glistening glory is greatly grossing me out. Ick.

By the way, given that the displayed goods next to the cake went from ghostly strawberries to turkey cupcakes, just how long do you suppose it's been sitting there? Long enough to attract flies, perhaps?
Anonymous said...

I don't know what's more distracting: the, ahem, stem or the oddly colored flowers (which seem more appropriate for yesterday's fireworks explosion cake). Or the strawberries (it took me a minute to realize those were the strawberries to which you were referring). Ack! I need to go stare at a blank wall to give my eyes a chance to recover.

Word verification: promo. These are all holiday promos that misses the mark...

(Apologies if you get duplicates of this; the ol' wireless is acting up this morning.)

All Adither said...

They could've been a little more subtle with that "stem". Imagine what a cornucopia could look like in the same decorator's hands!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Anonymous said...

I WAS planning to eat breakfast now, but I now I feel a little sick...

RooManda said...

Well, it's a cornucopia of Thanksgiving fun! Or it's a frosting ploop...eeewwwww. It makes my teeth hurt!

Vashti said...

NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rose said...

What is it supposed to *be*, anyway? A cornucopia? Isn't it kind of, well, pointing the wrong direction?

Judi Hahn said...

Okay, so is that supposed to be a pumpkin, and that gross thing sticking out of the top is the stem? That's the only thing I can figure. Love your BLOG, look at it every day.

Lori said...

It's really a shame they had to put a pile of doo-doo on top of this cake, because otherwise, I kind of dig it. I like the technicolor dahlias on the the side.

Donna said...

Amazing, they managed to capture that pumpkin at the exact moment the firecrackers inside exploded!!!

And for added effect, when somebody said "oh sh**", they decided to put that on the cake too!

Now we know why you never carry a pumpkin by the stem.


Word Verification: unticked...I think that's what I just did to my cat, I un-ticked her.

Becky B said...

That was very appetizing on this Saturday morning! icky.

Ms Unreliable said...

Us poor Australians are always the butt of poo jokes. So to speak.

Sixth Street Preschool said...

duh--during the Halloween Season, it was a giant slug and now during Thanksgiving time, it's obviously a cornucopia overturned by a precocious boy...the little rapscallion!

pitchersbakery said...

This is awesome, it like a huge orange marshmallow with a big pile of poop on top and yes its been sitting so long its growing colored fungus off to the side, oh wait it that a pumpkin growing flowers... oh woops... hehe i thought it was, ahhh never mind its all the naughty talk that really gets my mind thinking.... lol

phillygirl64 said...

OMG...is it possible that this cake was available at more than one store?

and as far as that stem...who says you can't polish a turd?

joyce said...

EEEeeewwwwuuuu Glad I ate breakfast already. That is gross. It glistens.

Laura said...

I'm guessing that is supposed to be a pumpkin due to what look to be ghosts surrounding it.

Needs to be a few flies buzzing around it and voila!

Kim said...

Either that cake has been sitting there for so long that the season has changed. Or, they actually sold the first one and made another one.

I'm not sure which one is worse.

John (the hubby of Jen) said...

Phillygirl64,

I stared at the two cakes for a while cause I thought the same thing. I mean who leaves a cake in a window long enough to completely redecorate around it. Then I noticed the icing ridge next to the flower and the peak of...um.."icing" on the "stem" and grasped the truth of it. It's the same.

Maybe they can put some hearts on it for Valentines day.

John (the hubby of Jen) said...

Oh,

And let me just say, that cake is sitting in a window with a bunch of other edible items, which leads me to believe that the cake is real and not a styrofoam display.

How unfortunate was the person who bought that? Yeesh!

Jane said...

That poor cake never stood as chance...

sues2u2 said...

Are you sure that it's not the battery cable still attached to the automatic cake froster & it got buried in the cake?

I'm just sayin!

Deborah Godin said...

Before I would even think about serving that cake to anyone, I would have to go get one of those little doggie baggies and scoop up that...pumpkin handle.

Afterthought: the flowers should go in there, too.

rnwannabe said...

As I am studying bowel elimination in nursing school right now, all I can see is a large colon on top of the cake, not so much the fecal matter that everyone else sees.

Stephanie said...

Alright. That's it. First thing on my list tomorrow is a canvas of local grocery cakes. Here in regional Australia, I've seen some real "winners" and I keep forgetting my camera. Since neither Halloween or Thanksgiving are holidays here (though both are catching on, the former because grocery stores are figuring out that Halloween is a great money-maker and the latter because we can't live without pumpkin pie and turkey), we ALREADY have Christmas cakes! That's right! I thought Christmas came earlier every year in the US and then I moved here and Christmas decorations go up in stores at the end of freakin' October! (The toy catalogs actually come out in July so that parents can put things on lay-away!) Our local grocery store bakeries also love their clear gel icing, which is ok in it's place but not when you plan on tipping one cake for display. Then it looks like the inscription is crying. I can't wait to go on Wreck-hunt!

Katie said...

What is so funny is that I was so grossed out that it took me a good minute to determine that was supposed to be a stem. Um, yuck!!!

Reese said...

Wow...that's....something.

Alix said...

Ah....FINALLY a cake worth a stinkin' Jackson. I mean, just the icing alone.

(Word verification "oration" and, ironically,I kept my comment on the short side for once.)

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com

Joanie6726 said...

THAT'S a stem???? Yikes!!!

A Paperback Writer said...

What is it SUPPOSED to be? A pumpkin? But why would flowers be growing on the side of a pumpkin?
A trophy for a girls' basketball team?
A sofa cushion with a spring growing out of it?
A statement against the genetic engineering of vegetables?
Or is it just a flowered ball with dog poop on it?

Melinda said...

That cake seriously makes me GAG when I look at it!! Besides frosting should never ever be that color!

Melissa said...

Talk about a huge fial. Oops fail.

I want to know how many in the Cake Wreck Nation now pack their digie cameras and do a stealthy stroll by the bakery display cases every trip to the grocery store now!

I, for one, am guilty as charged.. :o)

intothethickofit said...

The cake decorator obviously doesn't have a terribly juvenile sense of humor which, I think, is necessary to prevent a dookie cake fiasco.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Well...the most I can say is...at least it looks um...shiny? (I was going to go with creamy, but didn't want to induce puking in hte comment section...oh wait...)


Word Vert was ingeni. Definitely not a descriptor for that wrecktastic pile.

ipa said...

OK - somebody has been into the stool softning gel tabs again.
Or - they own a rottweiler who poops on cakes!

Can someone send me the recipe?

Thanks

Hi Kooky said...

Ack! A pumpkin stem? A cornucopia? A... big, thick, shiny brown spring? Heavenly days, WHAT IS THAT OFFENSIVE MASS?

Jim and Garret said...

We lost our jobs, sold our home, and are traveling the country in an RV. We call it temporary retirement. As we travel the US, we pickup our food supplies and I run to the bakery, with camera in pocket, eager to snap a photo of the next wreck. Jen, you have so many wreckporters at your disposal. How's that for power?

Our travel MISadventures:
jimandgarret.blogspot.com

Jamie said...

That is HILLARIOUS!!

Anonymous said...

I've heard of frost on the pumpkin ----- but never poop on the pumpkin!

jackie31337 said...

Did anybody else see the "flowers" as sea anemones? That was the first thing that came to mind when I saw them: a pumpkin encrusted with anemones, and maybe some kind of sea slug crawling on top of it.

Hyla Waldron said...

its POOOOOOP run for our lives!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

~Hyla
from
http://greenearthjourney.blogspot.com

Kenya Starflight said...

EWWWWW! No wonder nobody has purchased that cake -- I wouldn't eat it if you paid me to! X(

Anonymous said...

I have cows, and I KNOW what is on top of that cake! Ewwwww.....

Kathy in SC

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

That is probably THE hardest I've laughed at a cake before actually reading your commentary.

HARDEEE HAR HAR!!!!!

My husband was lurking over my shoulder when the picture came up. He FINALLY gets my Cake Wrecks obsession!

asillylittlegirl said...

That is soooo awesome!!! I can almost see the steam piping off the first pic...the ghost on the left side in the background kinda looks afraid of it...or mebbe he's hiding because he let go of that motherlode, wait ghost poop is invisible, isn't it?!

Karen said...

Personally, I think it's Schlock

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Turd alert!!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Looks like a pile of doo doo on top... will someone please get a shovel and get that off of there.

our3qtgirlz said...

That is DEFINITELY the same cake in both pictures...the same bent over -um- "stem"...the same three orange ridges to the right of the 2nd flower from the bottom.

Can we pretend that one photo was taken on Halloween and the other on Nov 1st--let's just say this bakery is really on top of their Thanksgiving decorations--just to make me feel better...it's really grossin' me out. UGH!

word verification: obtnessi--what I'm going to obtnessi my lunch if I look at those photos again.

msyendor said...

Giant Maggot!! Aaagh!

Twistie said...

Did anyone else notice that the price card appears to be jammed into the stem?

Even if the rest of it wasn't as unfortunate as it is, that would still slow sales, I have no doubt.

Who wants to buy a cake with a slice taken out of the massive shiny colon turd on top?

Atelle said...

Even without the... erm... stem? the orange sweaty, lumpy, cracked icing is a wreck.

Kisa said...

I swear i'm the only one who saw the stem and thought "oh lovely day, I just want the chocolate!!"

yes I DO realize what it looks like.
But I DO realize it's chocolate, and will turn into what it looks like anyway...

so who am I to complain?

Obviously, I'm hormonal and need chocolate!

Cirrus said...

This is a mean thing to inflict upon a sufferer of morning sickness. Excuse me while I lose my breakfast.

Anonymous said...

What do you expect for 19.95?

Seriously folks, these decorators are allotted all of 15 minutes per cake.

I wonder what kind of cake YOU could produce in that amount of time?

Anonymous said...

When the ghosts came out and the turkeys went in they did an air brush update. That would explain the brighter color on the second cake but the same ridges that John noticed.
Kudos for the great air-brush job.

Lisa said...

IF by chance it is meant to be a pumpkin, where's the little lines running DOWN the sides of said orange catastrophe? And doesn't the stem of a pumpkin have the same VERTICAL lines?

At first look I thought it was some weird orange like fruit - you know, like an orange, with one dirty great big caterpillar eating its way through said weird orange blob like thing. Of course, if that were the case, and in my defense it does look like some segmented worm/caterpillar type thingy's butt I would have expected the front end to be appearing from somewhere on the orange blob thing.

Of course, the reason I thought that was I never knew pumpkins had flowers and such growing out the side of them ;)

Ell said...

But those strawberry-ghost-things were kinda cute, don't you think?

Anyway, that cake looks so disgusting I actually want to eat it. How's that for reversed psychology?

(Word verification: motru. Actually souns like a good name for the cake, Motru - the poop cake.)

Anonymous said...

This might be a page for your Wrecks or Sweets, depending: they're in Russian.

tony a.k.a. isweatbutter said...

THAT HUGE TURD IS DEFINATELY "SPECIAL."

Becky said...

That stem is just wrong, wrong I tell you, wrong.

Havocec said...

That looks like a giant earthworm burrowing into a rotten pumpkin.

eckkk

Kathleen Taylor said...

urk...

I posted a shout-out to your site on my blog today. Thanks for the chuckles...

FreedomFirst said...

Haha! I actually took a photo of a cake very similar to that at our local grocery store, but since my photo software is on our old computer, I haven't gotten around to hooking it up, and downloading, and then transferring and uploading the photos.

It was smaller, and minus the flowers, but it had the little green vines and the pile-of-poo stem, and to top it off there were little piles of poo with vines decorating the plate around! It just looked all wrong.

Anonymous said...

And to think, what poor soul does buy that wreck will get a mouthful of stale cake. And possibly other stuff. It can't be sanitary when a cake has gone from one holiday to another, untouched.

Kirsten said...

Perhaps the creator of this....umm, item, wanted to give the impression that the 'flowers' are exploding out of the 'pumpkin'? Could it be a post-modernist comment on the first 'Alien' movie? Or perhaps..............HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry, I'm laughing so hard I'm dripping tears all over the keyboard.

Word verification: vablougu. Yep, this 'cake' IS a total vablougu. And I don't mean that in a good way. :):)

Lisa said...

since I'm a pro-photographer and all my gear would be well, kinda not so inconspicuous (giant camera, even bigger lens lol), I'd be seen (I've been seen and 'spoken to' by management on more than one occasion, but I'll never leave $5grand of gear in my truck ifyaknowwhatimean) but since I do have my iphone, and although I generally avoid the bakery area of the grocery store, I'm gonna have to start venturing that way in the hopes of finding some pretty nasty cakes. And there are some horrors....

I really do not think that any place like walmart, albertsons, safeway, coles (shoutout to stephanie since I'm an aussie living in the USA), king soopers etc, will ever be exempt from wrecking. Especially since most places like that don't pay the people enough to really care.

But thats all the more fun for us!

Jen Price said...

$20 for the protruding piece coming out! Yikes!

Carrie said...

"he called the sh** poop!"

My first thought was "the decorator brought her dog to work"

Nasty.

Havocec said...

anon..those Russian cakes are spectacular.

angeljoy said...

I thought that was a random elephant trunk poking throught there...

pbolesworth said...

I LOVE your blog! When I was first introduced to it I went back through all your archives and looked at every single cake. My favorite is the one where it was supposed to be a really gorgeous William Wallace plaid and it turned into a drunken Rastafarian mess!

Every time I see a cake I wonder if it's the kind you would feature but I never take a picture. And the comedic anecdotes really make your blog special!

Keep it up! I've told everyone about your blog!

Patty B!

Scritzy said...

Um, yeah, that's ... really appetizing.

Not.

Columbia Lily said...

I don't even know what it is supposed to be! Most of the time you can at least guess what the intent of the decorator was, but I'm thinking....basket handle? cornucopia? misshapen tree? Surely the intent was not to actually depict what it looks like it is.....

Anonymous said...

it's so realistic that i can smell it. and that's even grosser..

Mary said...

Hopefully it hasn't been sitting there that long. The scariest thought is that they made more than one of these.

Dea said...

I know the bakery that's from, at least I think I do - at least, the store from which it came. And they reproduce their "specialty" cakes over and over again during the season in which they make them until you're sick unto death of them!! I worked in their bakery myself, actually. And they - GASP! - sold FROZEN bakery items, including the most gorgeous chocolate mousse cake with a huge brittle chocolate ornate fan on top - it was amazing that it came from across the country, in one piece, and lasted months. And every. single. one. looked EXACTLY the same. Hence, my near-certainty that this is the same chain (well, the case, sign, strawberries, turkeys, and poo also) that this is the place I once worked....this isn't 2 pics of the same cake - it's two different cakes....just really, REALLY amazingly wrecktastically same decorating talent...

Sherry said...

Ew, that's disgusting!

As for the Halloween/Thanksgiving thing, if the photo was taken in Canada, those two holidays are really close together (both in October). Just saying.

MamaLeah said...

Ok so is it a pumpkin cake (notice in the first picture its next to halloween decorations) or a cornucopia ( in the second picture its next to Thanksgiving stuff) hmmmm? The sad part is it has either been made twice on purpose meaning someone bought this disaster or it has still never been bought since Halloween. LOL

Anonymous said...

Aside from the rather unfortunate stem (that is what that is, right?) it's not even that bad of a cake. Oddly colored perhaps, but not that bad.

Anonymous said...

Actually, my first thought was that it was an earthworm, burrowing into the cake. Then, I thought it might be a wilted, flaccid palm tree.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

oh ick. I can`t get past the "pile" to evaluate the rest of the cake.

Michael said...

My 5 year old daughter wants to know if it's a pumpkin or a slime. i think that sums it up nicely. i voted for slime myself

Michelle said...

Here's an even scarier thought. What if it hasnt' been sitting there that long? What if they made more than one? *shudder*

Tiff said...

That looks like a pile of poo. . . old poo

Spencer and Kami said...

Wow - that thing on top looks way to much like an over sized maggot...

Sorry to be so gross, but really, what the heck is that supposed to be?? It can't be the stem on the pumpkin...can it??

Kami

CaliGirl9 said...

Oh. The color looks like what comes out after a barium enema, well sort of.

How ... unfortunate.

Word verification: inessne. Cousin to insane.

Care Bear said...

Looks like someone has been taking their colon cleanse. Yuck!

Anonymous said...

I also noticed that the fruit tart (to the left of the cake on the lower shelf) is still there! This has to be an October 31 / November 1 picture!!!

Goff said...

This reminds me of the thing in Hagrid's hut at the end of the third Harry Potter movie. It looks like a giant mealworm or maggot coming out of the pumpkin.

blade girl said...

I'm w/ Lisa: where are the vertical lines? *IF* it's a pumpkin, they should be vertical on the pumpkin AND the stem.

If they made it for Halloween...shouldn't it be more of a jack-o-lantern? Maybe that's the plan in case the cake remains another year...to carve out a face by scraping off the....fireworks explosions?

Kopperhead said...

No. What is that? Really. It makes me scared to go near any bakery!
Spam word: jaduset
They sure did.

Liz said...

*shiver*

Nicki said...

I know what this is!!! It's a poopkin!!!

Havocec said...

It has to be from the same bakery. The same fruit tart is in the bottom left side of the screen.

The turkey cupcakes with the pilgrim hats, is very American. Canadian celebrate Thanksgiving but we don't have any historical events involving pilgrims or natives to go with it.

Is that a fly holding the card in place on top of the turd worm?

I have to stop obsessing about this cake.

word verification: palies...is that like friendlies except we're pals

Miranda said...

Wait, that's a stem? gaaahhhh. I thought it was a failed cornucopia or something. good lord. it looks like, well, what it looks like. X___X

Anonymous said...

jackie31337, that would actually be kind of neat: a cake done like a tide pool, with light cocoa frosting to suggest light brown rocks, white chocolate barnacles, and a concave top in which lurk tiny buttercream sea anemones and chocolate shellfish.

Jenny Islander

Word verification: Prepla. If those pictures are two different cakes, this wreck is done to a preplaed design. Which makes me wonder what designs they use for baby shower cakes . . .

Amy said...

It looks like some cows got loose in the pumpkin patch and left a few 'patties'..ewww!
~Amy B.

Anonymous said...

It's not even the same cake..look at the flower placement on both..they are clearly different cakes..and yes that is way too much cornucopia icing on top..but overall I don't think it's that bad..either of them..

Sheila said...

The words, "Steaming pile of poo" are now stuck in my head.

Angie said...

Eeeeeew!

Jessica P. Wallin said...

I kind of think it would be a really pretty cake if not for the big steamer on top!

Skiriki said...

You fools! It is not a pile of poop...

...but a veiny tentacle of a Lovecraftian horror -- maybe a Chtonian -- pushing out of the pumpkin, now that the stars are right.

And then you will wish that it would be just poop.

Put on your mad cultist robe, and start chanting "Ia! Ia! Chthulhu fhtagn!" and hope that the Great Tentacled One has mercy on you, and you will be eaten first.

LaurenH said...

I have the story for this one! Someone made the initial cake (the orange parts) and was told "Your cake is a pile of crap!"

And in response they added the....uh....pile of crap.

"You're wrong! THIS is a pile of crap"

Tanya said...

Is it just me or is that Turkey looking right at you saying "get me outta here, somthin stinks"

Word Vrification: watrusn
"what are you son"
Or maybe What..runs

Yénifer said...

EWWW!! What is it even supposed to represent?!?!

*reading comments* Wait, is it supposed to be a pumpkin? But pumpkins aren't all smooth and... Oh, a cornucopia? Yeah, but it doesn't look like... oh, never mind. It's just gross. And that's all. even though orange is my favourite colour.

Catherine said...

Why does it look like someone took a poo on the cake?

Anonymous said...

Oh my, is that a gigantic maggot?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that a giant worm is burrowing into that cake!

Anonymous said...

HOLY...S**T Oh, wait, that is what it is too!

OMG... This is horrible! Guess it is better then eating a cake that looks like a body. Well, maybe.

Debbie D

www.deborahdennert.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

To our3qtgirlz and the others who mentioned it: the October 31/November 1 scenario is possible since I took my photo on November 1.

Cheers!
Formica

PS I carry my digital camera everywhere I go. Weirdness abounds, and not just in the bakery department.

Tatersmama said...

Ewwwwww !!! I swear I saw *steam* coming off that thing.
Whatever it is.

Anonymous said...

Ya'll are missing out one of the best parts; in the first picture there is a cake in the background at least as worthy of notice. Looks like chocolate twinkies standing on end all around a pool of white frosting. Truly this bakery is a mecca for wreck hounds. And the strawberries! I thought they were fruit covered in mold. How special!!