Saturday, October 11, 2008

Sorry, You Can't Have Any

Saturday, October 11, 2008



I guess you'll have to make do with just the roses, Jessica P.
ad said...

Good timing for teaching the new grad about the unfairness of life, I think...

Sleepwalker said...

Don't we all, honey. Don't we all.

Rach said...

Can we also make a comment on how incredible misshaped that graduation hat is?!

Anonymous said...

Well, at least the decorator passed her penmanship class, right?

Rosemary said...

--and at least it doesn't say "Congratwat, JeSicah."

Mrs. C. said...

Ironically, the script is gogeous!

knittinginnowhere said...

I love the uneven border around it too... a nice classy touch.

MetalNoir said...

This is a nice-looking cake: completely presentable. It's fun, and I can forgive the minor aesthetic shortcomings because of that. I suppose it bears inclusion here because it displays that "knowing irony": the people who conceived the cake are well-aware of what's going on.

Model Citizen aka Bonnie Rue said...

nothing says "tough titty, it's time to grow up" like the absence of sprinkles...

Rachel said...

It would be wonderful if she had the sprinkles....poor kid....now I want some sprinkles!!

Anne said...

I wamt sprinkles? What is "wamt" exactly? The hat looks like a pink foil wrapped Hersey kiss upside down. This is a classic cake wreck!

Anonymous said...

I can just hear the conversation between the customer and the baker. "That's right,a graduation hat and the year '2008' on top. Oh! and I want spinkles on it as well." "Okay, ma'am I can do that...."

Anonymous said...

Oh & the handwriting is so pretty!

Libbie said...

Okay, this is it. My favorite wreck of all time (so far.) I think it's the fact that the decorator obviously has been doing it for a while, based on the lovely writing. Yet the decorator couldn't figure out that "I want sprinkles" meant...I want sprinkles.

Winner.

david santos said...

Really beautiful!!!
Have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! my new favourite!!!!!

and the penmanship is fantastic!

Hyla said...

LMAO! It is a beautiful cake, how could they not know! I just do not get it, they did such a wonderful job and then they ad that, don't they know that doesnt fit, don't they see this????? Where's the coffee?

~Hyla
http://earthyfinds.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Having met Other Humans I probably already know the answer to this: Could someone be THAT dense??

Anonymous said...

I'd have had to have bought the cake, just for the humour of it.
I like the handwriting, though.
Amy B.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't she have just one sprinkle? Well I guess not.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if she was bummed that she didn't get a Contralulation's, Congradulations, Congratwat, Cangratalation, ConGrat ulation? (Or however you spell it in whatever language she speaks.)

By the way, I want a BMW. I would never ask for it to be put on a cake...I might just get "I want a BM" on my cake!! And probably in brown icing.

The Crossing said...

woooooow

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure I know what happened here...
"And I want sprinkles on it, too"
"OK, and what do you want the writing to say?"
"I said I want sprinkles!"
"...yes, but the writing...?"
"I told you I want sprinkles!"
"*sigh*"

sarah sundae said...

I want them, too.

My Life, My Style said...

I just found your site and I looooove it so much! Maybe that is because I love everything that has to do with cupcakes and cake.

Have you seen this blog?

http://howtogainweightonavegandiet.blogspot.com/2008/09/cupcake-teaser-ok-enough-with-teasing.html

She makes the most ADORABLE cupcakes!

I wish I were as talented as some of the cake-decoraters you highlight. But my creations would probably end up in your "wreck" category!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's actually a nice-looking cake, but then again I am neither a purist nor a perfectionist.

I think I just found a new motto. I want sprinkles. If any politicos come knocking at the door, I shall tell them that I will only vote for the party that will give me sprinkles!

Kirstie Sequitin said...

i asked for the same thing when i graduated.
... nothin.

Women on the Verge said...

Do you suppose all of her gifts were sprinkles? I mean, really, at least it would be a minor consolation.

Natalie said...

this makes me laugh and just a little sad all at the same time.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Awesome. I love this stuff!!

Anonymous said...

I wish we could get the reaction of the buyer on some of these cakes. I mean, other than the jaw dropping to the floor as they stare at something totally wrong... Then wonder how to point out that it's wrong...at the same time realizing that the party is in two hours...

Katy said...

oh, how i LOL'd...
that was brilliant!

Boozy Tooth said...

If ya can't get sprinkles on your graduation day, then when can ya? Geez... harsh.

Meg said...

I must agree the penmanship is quite lovely. So lovely that it looks like this person must have had plenty of practice writing on cakes and yet he/she makes this lovely blunder! But seriously I love sprinkles I would want them too. But what better time to learn about the harsh realities of the cold, unfeeling real world?

Anonymous said...

I love this one. It's even better if you read it in Veruca Salt's voice.

http://yousuckatcraigslist.com

Anonymous said...

This is so wonderful in its simplicity.

Rebecca said...

I love how nicely done it is.
It's beautiful really, and then there's..... THAT!

Denise said...

It's almost as if the cake is talking to us...pleading with us...for a handful of sprinkles.

Anonymous said...

I cannot stop laughing. That is just amazing. Whoever made this order -- what were you THINKING???

Angie McCullagh said...

Oh my holy hell...I laughed out loud. OUT LOUD. That is so rare.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Persnickety Ticker said...

Life without sprinkles is just so not fair.

What a cruel yet sugary way to learn a life lesson.

Anonymous said...

i guess the old rolling stones song is true.

"you can't always get what you want".

Ann Hedvig said...

lol

Kopperhead said...

I'm going to put sprinkles on everything I eat today in honor of Jessica P. Yes, even the broccoli.

pika23 said...

Maybe it's my pain meds...but it took me a second or two to comprehend the actual mistake...now I'm giggling my butt off. Wow...this is SO my fave of all time!!!!!! reminds me of the time when my husband had to spell out his name for a form of some type that was being mailed to us . His name is spelled JON no H. So when he spelled out is name to the operator, he said J-O-N without the H. The week after he receives the catalog in the mail... adressed to JONNOH Reeves. Get it? they thought No H was part of the name I guess

Anonymous said...

Aw, that's sad... the cake is beautiful in general, I wonder if those are her school colors or just her favorite colors?
Too bad about the sprinkles, but how can you actually put that on a cake? Wouldn't you think "hmm, maybe I should call & see if 'i want sprinkles' should be written on the cake, or if they actually wanted sprinkles..."

jaclyn said...

The fact that the rest of the cake is pretty darn good for grocery-store decorating makes the mistake HILARIOUS. And sad.

Anonymous said...

i love this site & its hard to believe that some of the cakes are real! i work in a bakery & could never imagine actually giving a customer a cake like that!

Marian Perera said...

Didn't they ask for anything else in the center of the cake? Shouldn't there have been a message for the graduate, as well as the sprinkles?

Love the blog, by the way!

Anonymous said...

Is there an area under '2008' that looks like it has been re-iced - sort of a smoothed over bit as if something that was on there went wrong??

Anonymous said...

Ironically, sprinkles may have ruined this pretty cake.

~Lea

Anonymous said...

The sense of longing is leaving me positively verklempt.

If only I had some sprinkles to share with this poor grardutwat...er...craguate...um...maybe it's gerdutate?

Chrissy said...

This is my favorite site!! I come here everyday (right after my email) and I have hooked my friends on it too! Thank you so much!!

Also, this cake LITERALLY made me laugh out loud. The cake and the headline you put with it is all I needed, I will be chuckling all day!

Anonymous said...

They used the last of their sprinkles on Wendys' cake..LOL. I can not dis the artwork on the hat nor the penmanship.. the reverse shell border could use a little bit of help. But, all in all, the decorating is passable. And, if this cake was created in a grocery store they could have done an in store credit to the bakery department to get the graduate some damn sprinkles..

Barbara said...

I think it's a possibility that the order form had a blank for the customer to fill in. For example it might have asked "What do you want on the cake?" meaning, written on it. Not even this saves the hapless lout who didn't get it, though. Barbara

Tarot By Arwen said...

No no no. This is a metaphysical yearning put into sugar sweetness. We all want sprinkles in life. So this quite profound really. It is the Jedi Baker of the Universe delivering a much needed lesson to the graduate. Have what you want, you can't always. Work for it, you must.

A Paperback Writer said...

Oh, the irony! The irony!

Brock said...

Cakes just want sprinkles! I for one appreciate this cake's honesty

D.B. Echo said...

OK. I had to Google this. Aside from references to Cake Wrecks, a lot of sites out there reference a quote from The Office: "I don't want Garbage! I want Sprinkles!" - after Dwight has killed Angela's cat Sprinkles, and has offered to replace it with a feral cat he calls Garbage, because that's what he likes to eat. (I have no idea, this is just what I've read. Even though I live and work in the Scranton area, I don't watch The Office.)

So could this be an Office reference?

Beth said...

This is my new favorite. It makes me happy that all people do not have common sense when most of the time it drives me mad!

Jennifer Good said...

LOL. This just made my birthday.

ksaldria said...

My best friend is a sprinkle addict. I would so get her that cake...and cover it in sprinkles.

Excellent wreck. I scared the cat off with my burst of laughter.

Anonymous said...

This is so totally my favorite category of wreck! I HEART the literal translations. Keep 'em coming!

Anonymous said...

Living in LA the first thing I thought of was Sprinkle's cupcakes! So for a second I thought the grad had asked for Sprinkles (as in cup cakes) and her well meaning Mom told the baker "She said "I want Sprinkles for my graduation cake' ". And the more I think about it maybe that was the case? But a classic wreck nonetheless!

Carie said...

....interesting. In my job as a decorator, if I have a questionable inscription, I ask the person who took the order or hmmm, wow maybe even call the customer????!!!...............DUH. I want sprinkles...........add SPRINKLES!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Kids today, expecting sprinkles... In my day, we were lucky to get just ONE sprinkle, no way we'd be audacious enough to ask for more than one!

E.A.D. said...

There is no way anyone at the party could have kept a straight after reading that.

Jonathan said...

Well, if the cake wants them, the it should have them.

Rachael M. said...

Does NO ONE ever think to themselves, "Gee, "I want sprinkles" is an odd message for a cake" as they pass their giant container of sprinkles???

Anonymous said...

Wow! You have officially scared me out of ever ordering another "professionally" made cake again. Thanks alot! ;^)

Anonymous said...

I think her sprinkles ended up on my daughter's birthday cake.

As soon as I can I am submitting the pictures. I didn't ask for sprinkles and I swear it looked like they dropped 3 jars worth on there!

Lobbie said...

The brevity of this post makes it one of the funniest ones yet.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

lol omgosh I can`t stop laughing. That one really tickled my funny bone.

Anonymous said...

Perfect.

joyce said...

I'm with Barbara on this one---the form was misleading, perhaps. But, Vickie's comment was a hoot---3 jars of sprinkles on your daughter's cake?? No wonder this cake did not get any. Too funny

Anonymous said...

So lets look again at this beautiful cake... oh wait what is this, the border on the bottom is missing a few swirls, that’s okay you'll get it... wait! What’s wrong with this pile of roses and rose buds? oh I see you forgot all the vines needed to connect the roses and buds... silly it looks so weird with one rose bud chilling off by its self up there at the top... ps you really messed up with the sprinkles but that’s okay, next time right? lol love it!

Anonymous said...

This cake made me laugh more than any other cake on Cake Wrecks. The simple demand, not only so out of place on the cake but also completely unmet by the decorator, make this cake a winner.

Six Green Zebras said...

I ordered a cake today...the first since stumbling across this fine blog. I'm terrified about what may be waiting for me come Monday afternoon. Who knows, maybe I'll have a wreck to report.

amybowen said...

One of the funniest ones yet!

Carina said...

That's just happiness.

Anonymous said...

Bakery help wanted: Simpleton needed to decorate cakes. Must have neat handwriting, be able to follow directions exactly as stated, and color co-ordinate your clothes.

Ability to make descent icing roses and reverse scrolls is a plus.

Mad Izatie said...

Now I want sprinkles too. Damn.

Anonymous said...

"Sprinkles" becomes a really, really weird word after you read it enough times. Sprinkles. Sprinkles. Sprinkles. How is that a real word?

Ro said...

"I want sprinkles on it" ... hahaha

Anonymous said...

I love sprinkles!

Sariah said...

This cake would go great with my BIL's college graduation. The band played "You can't always get what you want". No, I am not making this up!

Anonymous said...

OK! Enough about the sprinkles; you graduated, eat the cake and get on with your life!! lol I soo laughed at this one!!

Emily said...

That is a very sad cake. It wants those sprinkles so badly... D:

KLZ said...

Sadly, it has taken me many weeks of watching your site to realize that many cakes are pre-made with all the pretty decorations, sent to the store with clean faces, and left to the destruction of poor penmanship and spelling. I finally figured that out when bad writing, odd spelling, and strange phrases were shown with otherwise perfect cakes.

Now that I have understood this mystery, "I WANT SPRINKLES!"

Scraplin said...

Funny stuff! The cake in general is not bad, the writing is decent, but WTF were they thinking with the I want sprinkles? LOL I think I would have called the customer back and verified the writing before putting it on the cake. I have to do it all the time at our bakery, because when something doesn't make sense on the order, that's what you DO!

Anonymous said...

"And what do you want on it?"

"I want sprinkles."

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking (or hoping) in cases like this, it's a case of the cake decorator not speaking English very well.

a mysterious blogger said...

It could have been a phone order. Even the Creator doesn't know what will happen to those poor cakes that come from a phone order.
It might also be from a nonsensical web page form with ambiguous boxes such as "What do you want on your cake?" when they really mean "Insert cake text here:"

Misa said...

Ok, not just LOLing, but also crying. Where's my emoticon?

Ms Unreliable said...

Maybe if she asked nicely...

Anonymous said...

Oh my - that is so sad. That one gave me a huge laugh this morning! lol

Misty said...

Funny! What's better is how nice the writing is. How can you get that decent at cake decorating but still not have a clue?

Bero *hearts* the Office! said...

Hi, so I actually know Jess P. and I went to her college graduation party so I saw the cake in person. One, this blog is hilarious. Two, the comments on this cake made me see the cake in a whole new light!!!
So the "I want sprinkles" is actually a phrase from our fave TV SHOW "THE OFFICE" in which Angela's cat Sprinkles died, and Dwight give her another cat named Garbage. She goes "I don't want Garbage I WANT SPRINKLES". So Jess thought it would be funny to have it on a cake, and on went the order to Costco. When I went to pick up the cake that day before the party I couldn't stop laughing at how awesome the cake looked. COSTCO CAKE IS SOOOO DELICIOUS!!

But other people at the party actually did think she wanted sprinkles on the cake. LOL

classic cake wreck!

Anonymous said...

This is my new favorite wreck. And I don't know what makes it funnier, the actual assertion of wanting sprinkles or the post title.

Anonymous said...

Man, it ruins it to know the backstory- that they actually WANTED the cake to say that. It was much funnier to imagine it was a mistake.

D.B. Echo said...

DINGDINGDING! bero *hearts* the office confirmed my theory! (See my October 11 comment from 3:33 PM.)

Steph said...

This made me LOL.

kikibibi said...

I "want" sprinkles...

I want "sprinkles"....

hmmm, this could get even funnier. Literal LOL, you know it!

(and Bonnie Rue - hilarious comment!)

Beth said...

good thing it didn't say I want "sprinkles"

Nicole Wilson Conley said...

oh my gosh, i cracked up very loudly at work when i scrolled down to this one... i haven't been by the site in a while (i had forgotten to add it to my bloglines - madness!) and i seriously almost fell out of my chair. so great.

nicole w.
raleigh, nc

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! I love it. This almost tops the (alleged) Walmart cake. Excellent. What a great laugh!

Anonymous said...

As a cake decorator who does not have 10 years of experience under my belt, in fact I don't even have 2 full years yet. I think its a perfectly nice cake. You can whine all you want about the imperfections but someone has to take home the not so perfect ones and whoever ordered it obviously wasn't gonna do it themselves. So either take it or get a 50% refund since you still gotta pay half for special orders even if you dont take them home with you.
-MK

verminjerky said...

I just had a brand new experience. This made me laugh so hard that when I finally stopped laughing, two or three minutes later, I felt as though I had just completed a night of wild passion.

Seriously. I lay back in my chair and relaxed with a heavy sigh, at which point this analogy occurred to me.

This one is that funny.

Anonymous said...

I just laughed so hard I cried.

Adhis said...

Oh, yes, this is a laugh out loud funny!

I especially like the pink dreidel on the top left.

Sarah said...

Haha! I scrolled all the way to the bottom to write that I thought the dreidel made it a lovely Hanukkah cake, but someone beat me to it!

Anonymous said...

i dunno why, but this is the funniest one to me, lmao! it should be the title of a song, and have that cake be the picture on the cd.

Anonymous said...

MK said...
As a cake decorator who does not have 10 years of experience under my belt, in fact I don't even have 2 full years yet. I think its a perfectly nice cake. You can whine all you want about the imperfections but someone has to take home the not so perfect ones and whoever ordered it obviously wasn't gonna do it themselves. So either take it or get a 50% refund since you still gotta pay half for special orders even if you dont take them home with you.
-MK

October 17, 2008 4:16 PM

Ooooo-kay. Ummmm, maybe you don't get the gist of the site if you take it so personally when someone criticizes a cake that is less than perfect. And IMHO, nobody here is whining either. How is it whining to get a chuckle out of something that looks like a no-brainer moment on the part of the decorator?

If I order something that's supposed to be 'professionally' decorated, I expect it to look professional. And I wouldn't pay one red cent for something I didn't approve, but particularly something I didn't even walk out of the bakery with.

Cake store: Here's your cake!
Me: Umm, that's not what I ordered. And it looks awful!
Cake store: So what. Pay for it anyway.
Me: NO!
Cake store: Okay, then let us keep it and pay us 50% anyway.
Me: Bwa-hahahahahahahahahahaha! You're kidding. Right? Really. You've got to be kidding. You're not kidding? *walking out door empty handed with same amount of money as I entered with*

Personally, I get a gianormous laugh out of all the cakes here. And amazingly, I feel a little better about the ones I've turned out knowing there are people paid to do this stuff, and theirs look waaaay worse than anything I've ever done. *evil grin*

Travis said...

Am I the only person that thinks the picture on the cake looks like an acorn wearing the graduation cap?

Unknown said...

I actually smiled looking at that cake. I almost never smile. I either keep a straight face or I laugh my head off when I'm in a conversation with someone. I love it when something makes me smile !!! <3 ;D

~Insanity keeps me sane~
Annie

Anonymous said...

I was at work when I found this post. I started to laugh so loud that tears come out of my eyes and my boss started asking if I was ok.

docreport said...

(In the tone of the Simpsons Comic book guy)
Best wreck ever

Anonymous said...

the hat looks like a turnip.

Anonymous said...

am i a bad person for thinking this penmanship isn't really all that great?

JillyBiehn said...

Okay, so I've read the "official" explanation, but as I read I couldn't help thinking, "What if the sprinkles aren't a WHAT, but a WHO?" Whole new perspective. *nods*

Anonymous said...

I LOVE The Office. And the graduation cap is actually pretty good compared to some of the ones I've seen on this site.

Roller shoes said...

nice post,thank you for share

Kim said...

Best. Cake. Ever.