Wednesday, October 22, 2008

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming! The Mutant Eyeball Decapitators are coming!

Field Wreckporter Lydia A. reports that these insidious body-snatchers have abducted a bevy of ballroom dancers, and are currently terrorizing local bakeries' display cases. They carry the heads of their hapless victims and are often accompanied by disgusting black squid-like creatures, which has prompted at least one 8-year-old boy to declare them "way cool". Readers are encouraged to keep an eye out for these monstrous mini-menaces.


And by the by, these perfectly illustrate my #1 problem with doll cakes: synthetic hair in the frosting = me being reintroduced to breakfast the unpleasant way. Yech.

UPDATE: It's official: y'all are feeling the love for mutant eyeball cakes. Who knew? :)
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

I was getting ready to head to the restroom, then I saw this post. Now I just need to find some new pants.

Trevor said...

on one level, I want to compliment the decorator for being original. On the other hand a) I agree about the synthetic hair and icing b)It is pretty gross!

horriblelicenseplates said...

Oh my! That eye ball! I think most children would cry if they got this.

joyce said...

I have to ask, is the eyeball edible?? The bright orange matches all the ads and do-dads on the website. Color co-ordination!

Heide said...

Clever premise for an otherwise tacky doll genre.

M K Glass said...

You know, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

Small Shake said...

there are no words for this...

The Lili Effect said...

That was horrifying. I would like to see more photos to be able to better understand it... but then again, seeing more photos may just disturb me more...

I'll be glad when Halloween themed cakes are no longer in season... I'm to squeamish for this stuff.

Alix said...

Usually you can take my full concurrences to the bank, but this time I must diverge slightly. Ever the lover of Halloween, I think these mutant eyeball decapitator cakes are awesome. You just can't do any better in the imagination department. Plus, they are so anti-Barbie it makes me bust out in smiles. And so what if you get a little synthetic hair in your icing? I guarantee you, you've had worse organic tag-alongs at McDonald's.

Alixandra Hice

http://myspace.com/ladyfishmusic

Jenn said...

It's like something Spike would make in "Toy Story."

Jenn said...

Not Spike. What's his name? Sid. That's what I meant. :)

Kansas girl said...

I'm with Alix. I like these. If you must have a doll cake, this is the way to do it.

creativekeys said...

If you think about it, this really ISN'T a wreck. Yes, it's hideous (but c'mon - it's Halloween, things are supposed to be hideous!), but, I see it as a metaphysical commentary on the evils of barbie doll cakes.

Plus, I've got three sons, and although I'm a very 'girly girl' we all HATE barbies in this house, so we think it's cool.

alex awesome said...

oh no! i thought it was spun sugar for the hair, not synthetic. GROSS. Spun sugar would be a way cool way to simulate hair.

Jessica said...

Eye can't believe someone would buy this.

I love a bit of cake said...

Doll-hair-in-the-icing aside, I've always been repulsed by the smell of plastic dolls. The thought of that horrid plastic-y/baby-vomit odour near something edible literally makes me dry wretch....

ad said...

Okay - now they're doing it on purpose to get CakeWrecked!

Katy said...

This is PERFECT for my 12 year old twin boys - they would absolutely love it.

Much better than a "normal" doll cake, yuck.

Leslie said...

You know this baker probably is a little brother that used to pop the heads of his sister's Barbie dolls and has now made a career out of it.
I think what was most amusing to me is the one in the far back right...her head seems to have a sort of, "Oh dear, mercy me!" expression on it. Not true horror, just mildly worried that she's lost her head. (how will I ever kiss Ken like this?)

Rev. Syung Myung Me said...

The Residents are back... and this time they're pissed! And in drag for some reason.

(actually, I really like these ones!)

Mella said...

Am I supposed to eat that or is it ready to launch an attack on the earth to kill us all

jaclyn said...

I disagree. This is a freaking awesome Halloween cake. I want one!

mooP said...

I dunno, I think its pretty cool and original, and very appropiate for halloween.

Someone asked if the eyeball is edible, and I think it is. If you look carefully, it looks like the eyeball is a foil covered chocolate that I see all the time this time of year.

Serena said...

That is appalling. Definitely agree with you on the doll hair... not cool.

On the plus side, I think the eyeball is one of those Palmer's peanut butter filled ones, and those things are AMAZING. I'm addicted to them, they're the best part of Halloween. :)

Anonymous said...

I find that oddly and disgustingly amusing.

Tho' I do have to agree with the synthetic hair bit.

-Amy

mrs. q. said...

Ditch the doll head and nasty frosted hair (blech); otherwise, these are pretty hilarious! It reminds me of the year I made a cemetery cake for Halloween with cookie gravestones and a doll's hand coming up out of the earth a la Carrie. Wait, I need to find a photo of that... sounds like a wreck to me!

What's Her Face said...

Why the eyeball? How did an eye overtake Barbie? She couldn't fight off an armless, legless, defenseless eye ball?

Liz C said...

Best doll-in-a-cake I've ever seen!

And I agree with Alixandra -- I guarantee that you have unknowingly eaten much wore things than a piece of plastic hair.

It rocks!

Cheri said...

When the page loaded the first thing I saw was that eye staring at me and I literally jumped and thought, "AHHHH!" I almost said it out loud even.

sarakate said...

Blech! These look nasty.

At least when I do doll cakes for my friends' kids, I put the hair in a ponytail so that I avoid the whole hair in the frosting issue!

Poetry Sue said...

Yikes! My son would run away screaming... who are they marketing these too?

JC said...

take a look!

http://sfbokhandelnmalmo.blogspot.com/2008/10/let-them-eat-cake.html

a cake wreak, I believe.

The Seeker said...

I think it's too funny! At least for an adult or older child. Take that you all too perfect Barbies!

All Adither said...

Better synthetic hair than real hair!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

kerry said...

i am definitely torn. they certainly are imaginative, but i don't think i'd like one looking back at me.

RainbowEclipse said...

I love that the bakery apparently expects to sell many of these, as there are others just like it lined up in the background...

Anonymous said...

I have got to stop checking this site before breakfast. Ewwww.

Poetikat said...

Whose "Eye"dea was that? I was afraid of the Old Maid in a deck of cards. I'm pretty sure I would have had to be sedated if anyone presented me this as a child. Then again, boys may SEE things differently.

Kat

mary said...

I kind of like them. Kooky good fun.

PamperingBeki said...

Now that's just freaky!

I'm sure my 6 year old would love them though. ;-)

Hyla Waldron said...

What the hell is this?? These are wacky! I could not eat ANYTHING with hair in it, blech!

~Hyla
http://greenearthjourney.blogspot.com

Banana said...

Those would actually be cool cakes if they weren't holding those...hairballs.

Angela said...

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

Flartus said...

Small Shake: yes, yes there are words. There are the ones I uttered when opening this page: "What the...?!??"

However, I can see the anti-cheesy appeal of these little freakouts. I wondered if they were a reference to the Corpse Bride or some other such cultural phenomenon of which I was unaware.

the rabbi's wife said...

Ick, ick, ick! Reminds me why I'm glad I live in a country that doesn't have Halloween.

Brianna & Matt said...

i concur. hair, real or synthetic, anywhere near my food makes me be "reintroduced to breakfast the unpleasant way"

Woof said...

WOW these cakes are so cool. They are alien eye creatures removing their masks... The one huge eye and the head in the dolls hands is just brilliant. After hearing me state this a co-worker made a comment of me being on the level of an 8 year old! Well most of us guys are...

My Ice Cream Diary said...

If you were to shave off the synthetic hair it would reduce the gag factor and increase the freak factor. Win-win.

Corey Wilde said...

The nieces and nevvies all agree, this is the coolest cake they've seen. I think children have a much higher tolerance, a love even, of the grotesque than adults.

Jim and Garret said...

I'm thinking it's kinda cool, and not a wreck. It's Halloween and an awesome way to show it.

kitchenrefugee said...

unlike the shark attack cake, this is grossness I can revel in, probably because of my deeply rooted anti-Barbie leanings.

But is that orange stuff frosting or wool? Looks like the evil decapitator eyeballs met their match in a mass outbreak of tea-cosies.

falnfenix said...

i agree with Alixandra...they're brilliant!

The musishian said...

These cakes are creepy and demented. Would be absolutely perfect for fans of Silent Hill or the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

Zelik The Red said...

I think any hair in the frosting is bad.

Woof said...

Let me explain more... the way I see it is they are alien eye creatures removing their masks. The one huge eye is the real alien monster head and the doll head is the mask to fool us humans... just brilliant.

Kathryn Johnson said...

Love it!

DoodleBunz said...

What in the fish IS that *thing*? How disgusting...

Brenda said...

While I wouldn't want one, they certainly are unique. I'm not in total agreement that it's a wreck; more just odd and unusual.

Oh well, love the site, makes me laugh everyday.

Anonymous said...

Eyeball cakes!!
Love it! Too funny.
Ah, what a macabre sense of humour. Much like mine.:o)
Amy B.

Hi Kooky said...

These cakes are fabulous! The hair in the icing adds to the glorious grossness! I love these cakes. This is a case of SO WRONG = SO RIGHT.

Of course, I'd never present one to a child. Although now that I think of it, my 7-year old boy would probably laugh his head off if he saw this (no pun intended).

sues2u2 said...

I agree about the hair being pretty nasty in the icing but the rest of it is pretty cute! I would bet that the eyeballs are edible. I saw some @ Wal Mart that I almost bought for a pumpkin cake I want to make.

Quarter to Three Studios said...

i'm reminded of the naked baby carrot jockeys in my lack of understanding. i mean, i love halloween as much as the next person (well, probably more than the next person....) but i think i draw the line at eating anything eyeball- related.

Floating Princess said...

Those are awesome! I would totally buy those!

Alex said...

Is it wrong that I actually love these?

Havocec said...

m k glass said You know, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

Then it a sport.

Faith said...

Frankly, I love these. I'd have them at my house on Hallowe'en. In fact, I may have to find out who made them!

Kimmy said...

...I kind of want one.

It's creepy and I love it!

Havocec said...

I don't like the hair/icing either but the cakes are kinda cool. And on November 1st you can get one for half price.

Darn, I was in the grocery store and forgot to look in the bakery. There are some weird ones around here.

sciencegirl said...

Awwww, that's not wrecky; it's cool. It's Halloween! It's supposed to be gross!

Julie said...

I looked at these.. trolled a few other sites, came back and looked again. Did some work, and I'm back again.

The more I look, the more I like the beheaded, alien eyeball, anti-Barbie concept that's going on here.

The longer I look, the more inclined I am to do something like this myself for a Halloween party :)

Sydney Hell said...

Wow! I LOVE doll cakes, the thought of hair in the frosting never occurred to me till now. Yeah it is kinda gross huh?
But these are totally brilliant!

Psycho eyeball dolls a-go-go!

TornadoBaby said...

Oh lawd.... I jumped when that photo uploaded suddenly on the page.

Original idea, but definitely looked better mentally than for real...

"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just a game... find the eye!"

I found them, and all the other missing eyes. They mutated....

~Jenn

janet said...

I actually kinda like it. But then again, I have an appreciation for blatantly craptastic things like plaid pants and floral couches.

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

If I had to guess I would say these cakes were made by a boy who was the middle child and has some issues with his mother not putting him in dance class.

Kansas girl said...

My brother didn't just pop the heads off my Barbies, he also chewed off their toes and half their feet. (Poor Barbies, couldn't wear pumps any more 'cos they wouldn't stay on. Had to wear their go-go boots instead.) Some chewed-off feet, or any body parts really, would go nicely with these cakes. Just pick a few off the shark cupcake mountain from the other day, and you're good.

If the eyes are really Palmers chocolate though, that's wreckish right there. Palmers is nasty and waxy. IMHO, of course. Though I have not tried their peanut butter eyeballs, I confess.

Liz! said...

I'm with the 8-year-old boy...way cool! in a sick and twisted kinda way :)

Crochet by Momma J said...

Disturbing . . . yet I can't stop looking at it . . . it's like it follows you.

Marianne
www.crochetbymommaj.etsy.com
http://crochetbymommaj.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Those cakes are fugly, and I want one!! The perfect anti-cake, for Halloween or whatnot.

Jessie said...

I think these are cool. They are a classic horror movie in cake-form! Much better than cheesy pumpkin cakes or whatever.

As for the synthetic hair... Hey, its plastic right? So not that much different than the doll itself being stuck in the cake. Furthermore, its not like all the hair is going to fall out and stay in the frosting. Chances are when you move away the head, all the hair will pull away with it.

TB Tabby said...

I agree with Banana. These cakes are pretty cool, and nicely suited for the season.

Diane said...

EYE WANT ONE! I may haave to re-think my Halloween cake plans this year, and freak out my grocerystore bakers. Again.

dameruth said...

Long time reader (and fan), first time commenting . . . these are freaking *fabulous*! What a great idea (notice I restrained myself and didn't say "eye-dea").
Finally, something an 8-year-old boy and a 38-year old woman can agree on. It probably helps that I work in a biology lab where we *study* eyes, but I would *so* bring one of these to a holiday get-together . . .

84 said...

WANT! Now if they could just make some where the doll parts are candy instead of plastic,and the heads got nicely done frosting instead of that frizzy mess.I love the eyeballs.But I'v alwasy been a fan of Halloween.

Rachel said...

Honestly, my biggest beef with this cake - and these types of cake that try to be so cutesy - is.....where's the beef? I like pretty and creative cakes as much as the next person, but I also like cake. And, while Eyeball Barbie might make a nice Halloween centerpiece, it would hardly feed a small crowd at the presumed Halloween party. Too much cute, not enough carbs, says me.

Darth Rob said...

Wow, I love those, so original! I dont know if someone already said it, no time to read 80+ comments, but those eyeballs are foil wrapped candy. I ate a bag of them last week.

busdriverbob said...

just curious, is that a cake on the floor in the background?

Anonymous said...

When my son was 9 or so, he would have killed for one of these! Love it! After I landed back in my chair after elevating about a foot and shrieking so loud I scared the dogs, of course.

I think I still have one of my son's old mutant eyeballs kicking around here. Hmm, Halloween isn't far off...my son may be 2,000 miles away, but my husband lives right here. :)

Utok said...

I love it.

sarah said...

Seriously, as a mommy of 2 girlie girls, EYE LOVE THIS CAKE. I'm do recreating (stealing) the idea and making one with a popcorn ball (recipe at halfassed kitchen) and a fondant eye ball. Excellent EYE-dea for the Halloween carnival.

MaryO said...

OMG ! Straight outta a 50s sci fi !! Be still my heart! :-)

I'm ROTFLMAO !!!!!

Beth said...

At first glance, I thought, "Dead baby birds - dear god!"

On second view, as halloween cakes go, the "pull mask off to reveal eye-ball-headed alien" concept is kinda cool.

Still, the "Dead baby birds - dear god!" reaction would keep me from being able to indulge.

asillylittlegirl said...

Seriously, is there cake underneath all that crap?!

Licketysplit said...

I could have done without the head. The eyeball alone is statement enough.

Tracy said...

OK well it being Halloween and all those are kind of really awesome. I have a thing for eyeballs, though.

JJ said...

These are actually better than the doll cakes with the heads left on. Have you ever seen those cake doll heads???? Those things can give you real nightmares.

Melinda said...

Pretty clever actually! Perfect for a Halloween party! Creepy but not too disgusting.

IDBUG said...

I agree with all: cute, but PLEASE!, no hair and no horrible plastic smell near my food. If I received this I'd probably disappoint the giver, because I can't eat stuff that has a weird smell or possibly has foreign objects in it--I won't even try because I've experienced the results too many times already (finding pieces of plastic, onion skins or extraordinarily woody vegetables in something as I was eating it). No way I'm going to tempt fate ever again.

If there was a sugar/fondant/marzipan alternative for the body/head, and there was no hair, or it was spun sugar ...

Michael said...

I think we are forgetting that no matter what the holiday, people are supposed to be able to eat the cake. this cake does not make me want to eat it. it makes me not want to eat at all.

fug estate said...

That is TOO CREEPY. Fortunately this is the right season for it, being Halloweeny and all.

Still. TOO CREEPY.

Squidley said...

I have to say, as a Texan, thank you for correct usage of an apostrophe in the word "y'all" - not that I expect anything less than perfect punctuation from you! I've got to get me one of them eyeball-head ladies.

Katy said...

Yuck! I'm just not that into gross halloween stuff.

Emily said...

We have this high-end glasses shop here in Philly (two branches, actually), called Modern Eye. Their shops have eye-based decorations everywhere - painted on stuff, in the center of fake flowers, you name it. Along with very comfy Victorian-looking chairs, go figure. They've won awards/been in magazines for their interior design, because it's so wackily awesome.

Their mascots are a man and woman just like these, albeit in swimsuits - but in any case, with a single huge eyeball for a head. You can get t-shirts of them, even. So you can guess what these cupcakes remind me of!

Aimee said...

Oh my my my. To what depth are we reaching when we somehow get up one day, go to work and decide.. "Todays the day people. We are rippin the heads off dolls and shovin on eyeballs!"

Who does this??

Dea said...

Eeew, the hair is WRONG. I like the eyeball cake, but the doll hair - just, just.....so not RIGHT!!!

Monica said...

Ooooh, and here I thought I'd be the lone freak who liked these! I think they're fab. And my mom would love 'em too. In fact, I kind of want to make some myself. The occasional synthetic hair would be totally worth it, imo.

ksaldria said...

Great. As if dolls cakes weren't creepy enough.

Katrina said...

When I called my husband over to see this, I had accidently hit something that made the picture far more than screen sized and it was showing the skirts of the figures. He starts with "I know she doesn't like cupcake c-" as I was scrolling up and that's where he stopped speaking, followed bya shocked pause, moving into laughter. I think he agrees with the 8 year old. My 14 year old daughter thinks they are beyond 'way cool' and are simply awesome.

Wendy said...

This is so awesome.

Nicky said...

I actually really like these as Halloween cakes. After all, it's the one time of year when dessert should be horrifying!! There's clearly a healthy dose of self-awareness in the design of these cakes ...

sonyacarlson said...

I think this cake is wreck-tastic, but maybe, just maybe, the creator was inspired by Ralph Waldo Emerson and his transparent eyeball. I can't say that I remember what the meaning was, I just thought it was weird. However, someone thought Emerson was cool.

Yénifer said...

Despite the fact that orange is my favourite colour, that cake is gross (IMO)! I'm eating D:

Carmen said...

I just wanted to say this blog is hilarious! I love it! :)

Mad Izatie said...

It's scary and it looks ke it belongs in a japanese horror film.

holly said...

Omg, way too cool. I love 'em! And I am far from 8 years old or male. The rest of my household now wants eyeball cakes, but they are all male so I'm not surprised. These cakes would go perfect with the IV running red punch bowl and the rubber hands holding candy at a Halloween party.

Sarah+2girls said...

Was this picture taken in CT? I just saw these in the store the other day! I immediately thought of sending a pic to cake wrecks, but I guess Field Wreckporter Lydia A beat me to it.

CanadianChick said...

I love it.

I agree that:

fake doll hair+cake=bad

fake doll bodies=icky

but all things considered, I think they're brilliantly funny...

Mad Hatter said...

Those are so kool!!!

Michele said...

What the heck??? lol These are sad, sad, sad! Definitely not something I would run out to buy. Guess I am in the minority on here today though! lol

Dark Phoenix (Nixa) said...

What is Sauron doing on that cake?

b said...

I had to look at if for a minute to figure out what it was!

I do hope I have a pic of this, but as a joke one year I asked my hubby for one of those doll cakes. Since Barbies always seem to have a theme, I asked that mine have the following theme: Prom Night Carrie Barbie, which ended up being probably the average doll cake, but with the added element of being covered in globs of dripping red gel icing. He said the decorator acted frightened of him when he went to pick up the cake.

alicia policia said...

This cake is awesome!!! I _love_ it, and I plan to do it myself, but I know that I'm gonna have to add some blood and gore to mine. : ) How did I never think of doing this? It's brilliant!

And may I add, it is far more creative than any yawn-inducing-fondant-figure covered concoction that I've seen of late.

I'm gonna be popping the heads off everything I can put on a cake now. Hmmm...giant eyball headed baby carrot jockeys -- now THAT would be cool...

Skiriki said...

Wow, it is like Grant Morrison "Sea Guy" comic all over! Mickey Eye cakes! Awesome!

Holli said...

JC's link goes to a cake of Spike from Buffy!! That, my friend, is no wreck! It's freaking fantastic! I recognized it right away, and never would have imagined he could look so good in marzipan. Mmmmm....good enough to eat!!
Holli

Bren said...

I think these are awesome! Ew on the synthetic hair, obviously, but if I saw these in the store I'd buy one just for laughs. And then eat it, of course.

Eric said...

"If you keep making that face, one of these days...you will get stuck making it."

or

"Dr. Eyecare, you can't scare your patients into wearing their glasses."


www.goinggreenaccidently.blogspot.com

Laura and Tom said...

Oh wow. Props for the imagination though!

-Laura

www.fromuktous.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! in drag!! performance art to a new high!!http://www.pluginmusic.com/news/archive.php?id=920

Miranda said...

Advertise these things somewhere that goths hang out. You'll do mad business, trust me. I don't have a single friend who wouldn't love these things!

In fact, you know....I have the cake supplies...I could just get the eyeballs at party city....


MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

--Miranda, the mad goth chick

Anonymous said...

Ewwww. Not loving the eyeball people. And I agree, yuck with the synthetic hair in the frosting. Makes me think I'll hack up a hairball just thinking about it!

RATSAWGOD said...

Definately not a wreck. I dig Halloween, and these are pretty much the ONLY cupcake dolls that I have ever liked. Were I an 8 year old boy, I would have thought these were hysterical. It's over-the-top, but it's SUPPOSED to be over-the-top.H appy Halloween!

kyooty said...

(insert SCREAM) well if they were going for scary...

Fuzzy Izmit said...

That is the coolest thing ever. I just love them! Creepy... but not because they are horribly done! Great job!

Nikki said...

I HATE doll cakes but my only complaint about this is that they didn't simply toss the doll heads (total agreement on the hair + cake and frosting = nasty). It's so anti doll cake though and absolutely creepy that I actually like it!

butcherbaby said...

HAHAHAHA!! BEST CAKES EVAR!!
i want one of these for my birthday! seriously! and i'm female and, er, well past the age of having dolly cakes.
but then again i have a thing for eyeballs......

and PS: Residents and Tolkienr eferences FTW!!!

Laser Potato said...

All these comments and not one single Medama-Oyaji reference? Come on, I thought it was obvious. He's as well-known in Japan as Hello Kitty.

Wildroses said...

I have to admit, I would TOTALLY buy one of these. XD 10/10 for imagination! Also a 10/10 on the disturbing scale, perfect for Halloween! I can see why it's a Wreck though. My taste has never been the best~

hyphen8 said...

I'll just say: WAY better than standard doll cake!

Cupcakes Lady said...

Looks like a toy scene from The nightmare before christmas...when jack takes over christmas town! lol xx