Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wrecks Takes a Field Trip

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Today, class, we're going to see an example of how other sugary foods can become Wrecks.

Here we have what looks at first glance to be a perfectly normal hamburger:


But check out the description sent to me by the "architectural foodsmiths" over at Bompas & Parr:

"The burger, known as the Monnow Valley Burger, is comprised of a hamburger patty with two slices of melted cheese, tomatoes, secret sauce and onions sandwiched inside a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed donut and garnished with a slice of gherkin. The Monnow Valley Burger contains up to 1000 calories and 45 grams of fat."

Daaaang.

This is nuts! I mean, c'mon, "architectural foodsmiths"? They stick a Whopper in a Krispy Kreme, and they get to call themselves "architectural foodsmiths"? Really?

I guess in their defense, they also created this snazzy little number:

That's pork and tomatoes under that sugary-sprinkled donut shell, my friends. Awww yeeeah.


Now that I've whet your appetites, I'm sure you're demanding to know just where you can procure one of these culinary delights. Well, if you live across the pond you're in luck: they debut this Saturday, September 20th, at the Abergavenny Food Festival in Britain.

And here's the kicker: Bompas & Parr are billing the Monnow Valley Drive-Thru where the burgers are served as "the ultimate American eating and entertainment experience". So going by their press release, the "ultimate American experience" equals hotdog-eating-contests, theater performances in which the actors are dressed as "a flock of burgers", screenings of the movie Pulp Fiction, and of course thousand-calorie-donut-burgers.

Wow. So much to be offended by, so little time.

Actually, I'm kind of torn: this could in fact be brilliant satire, considering our American love-affair with gut-busting fast food and general idiocy. I mean, the show "Flavor of Love" alone should by all rights get us kicked back into the Stone Age, so if donut-burgers and hotdog-eating-contests are the Brits' way of poking fun, huzzah and well played. If, on the other hand, they honestly think Pulp Fiction and prancing flocks of burgers epitomizes US culture, then let me be the first to remind Bompas & Parr that we Americans may be fat, and have questionable taste in entertainment, but we can occasionally tell when we're being insulted. And furthermore, we don't like it very much. (Being insulted, I mean; not the other stuff.)

So there.



Many thanks to Bompas & Parr for the photos and info. Guys, I don't know if I should shake your hands or slap your faces. Maybe you should send me some of those donut burgers so I can make an informed decision.

And as for the rest of you: field trip over! We continue with our regularly scheduled Cake Wrecks tomorrow.
Under the Radar said...

Ugh. Please post a disclaimer- "Do NOT check Cakewrecks on days when you are recovering from the stomach flu."

-Is it possible to relapse from a photo?!? Good job, guys.

Under the Radar said...

Oh- and let's not forget that this is the country that brought us a dessert called "Spotted Dick."

Seriously. It's SUET pudding with currants. Now I AM relapsing.

wifeogeek said...

I've heard that everything is better with bacon....I may rethink that.

Tiffany said...

It's just like the American restaurant in the Mr. F episodes of Arrested Development!! All they're missing are gallons of soda!

Gross!

Zeunasc said...

This was actually "invented" a few years ago by a minor league baseball team in St. Louis, although the Brits may have perfected it. Check it here:

Krispy Kreme Burger

Some Other Jen said...

Hey now, Pulp Fiction is better than _all_ those other things listed. In a deliberately-bad-yet-awesome sort of way.

t said...

...Okay. This is... interesting. Living in the UK at the moment (for school), I have to say that this is more Scotland than U.S. -- after all, though many State Fairs will sell the deep fried Twinkies, they ORIGINATED in the UK, in Glasgow, probably.

As for this representing the ultimate American experience, I think there's a disconnect; people in the U.K. have trouble with the scope and size of the U.S. -- California alone could fit Scotland inside and still have room for England and Wales (but we'd have to leave out the islands). Instead of this being the American experience, maybe it's only, say... Memphis? I mean, don't you see Elvis eating that pork thing? With peanut butter, of course...

...but whatever else this craptastic architectural foodsmithing might be, it surely is not representative of American me.

Yankee in England said...

Actually this is beign held in Wales. England brought you the Spotted Dick. Way to go to the Welsh for deciding deep fried Mars bars were not good enough for their party

caradea said...

They just stole ideas from the US
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_Burger

Gotta show some deepfried battered pizza from scotland.

kirsten said...

no need to travel across the pond! This is most likely an homage to the Luther Burger of Decatur GA and elsewhere. I believe it's also called the Vandross in some circles.

John said...

why pulp fiction? that's one of my all-time favorite movies and there are a couple of hamburger references in it (Royale with Cheese and the Big Kahuna Burger). but there is also tons of swearing, killing and drug abuse. it's fun for the whole family!

Karen said...

And breakfast was going so well until I read this blog... Ewww!!

glitzee76 said...

That's actually a ripoff of the Luther Burger, which was served at a restaurant in Decatur, Ga. (Mulligan's) before they closed down last year.

Seen here.

Trevor said...

UGH! I can't even IMAGINE eating something like that. Just when I was about to have a healthy breakfast too....

Anonymous said...

I was reading along and I got the words Krispy Kreme and I threw up a little in my mouth. Not that I have anything against hamburgers or Krispy Kreme for that matter. But together, they sound positively vomit inducing.

Anonymous said...

A favorite recipe of Paula Deen:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paulas-home-cooking/the-ladys-brunch-burger-recipe/index.html

Her special ingredient is a fried egg.

Lisa said...

Nastiness. Plain nastiness.

I like to mix my sweet and salty, but a burger and pickles on a Krispy Kreme is sick.

Kelly said...

It's wrong that I'm hungry, isn't it? I'm so ashamed.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

RED ROBIN does the fried egg burger... my sons girlfriend got it and it was actually (OH dear will I actually say this) it tasted ok... I woudl nto want it but I had to taste it ya know... but to mix a krispy kream and hamburger... that should be illegal... ack

Eunice said...

Both made my stomach lurch. In a bad, gag me, kinda way.

The Barnes Crew said...

Gagging, gagging, gagging!!!! That is just disgusting!!!!

As if eating a big burger and Krispy Kreme donut by themselves isn't bad enough...no let's slam them together and consume our caloric intake for the day all in one meal!

Aggh...

Ruth said...

Oh my god, that's disgusting. At first, I thought they were cakes that looked like hamburgers and thought to myself, "Oh, okay, it's unappetizing, but it's kind of cool that someone could do that."

It is absolutely foul that someone would put a burger between two halves of a donut. I will go throw up now.

Winona said...

I see zeunasc beat me to this: I remember hearing about the Krispy Kreme burger a few years ago from the Gateway Grizzlies ballpark in Sauget, IL. Still haven't had a chance to try it, but since I have successfully braved poutine, I'm up for about anything.

Sorsha said...

I first saw the burger and went 'Huh, not so bad...'

Then, I took a closer look.

Sweet Zombie Jesus.

That is the unholy trinity of fat.

Meg said...

Do they think that they came up with that idea? I don't really understand, the concept of a burger on a Krispy Kreme (as horrible as it may be) has been around for a longggg time. :(

Katy said...

mmmmmmm, donuts and pork products. Two of my favorite things! If there was cheese on it, and it was served with a glass of wine, I'd be good to go.

craftygeekmama said...

There are so many things wrong with a donut burger in the first place but did they have to use Krispy Kreme donuts? I'm calling foul on that.

April said...

this is oddly appetizing.

Paul said...

Disclaimer, I'm not a Brit rather a Paddy from next door...

I'd say that there's probably at least some irony at work here.

Ultimate might be a bit off the mark but certain elements are very much references to US pop culture. I don't know about the UK but certainly I'm not aware of a permanent drive-in cinema in Ireland.

Pulp Fiction is probably just chosen as a film with a prominent burger reference, and also one where a certain age group will know a chunk of the dialogue more or less verbatim, ala Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Actually there's a thought somebody obviously came up with the idea for this event and needed a hook, "The ultimate something experience". What other word could you drop in there, Obesity? Elvis? There are enough elements in there that it's sufficiently recognizable, and using 'American' is a little more exotic than 'Milton Keynes'.

Perhaps they should have gone with "Morgan Spurlock" and shown "Supersize Me" instead.

Trust me though, I'm pretty sure that people know that not everyone in the US is like "The Simpsons", "Desperate Housewives" and so on including your choice of Quentin Tarrantino films.

Leslie said...

AWESOME commentary!

I agree, I am not sure how I feel about the true American experience thing. Kinda insulted? But like you said, if it's suppose to be satire, then I'm all for laughing at our culture. We are a bit on the chubby side (myself included) and prone to enjoy no-thinking-required TV (my current fav is "Wipeout", but then again, I loved the Japanese original, so it's not like we're the only country to enjoy mindless entertainment)

Personally, I heart bacon and donuts, but I'm really not sure I want to eat them in the same bite. I tend to separate opposite flavors.

graduatedlearning said...

I agree with Tiffany, it made me think of Arrested Development's "American" restaurant in little England.

http://soundsliketomatoeswordpress.com said...

"Ah, yes I'd like to order the Krispy Kreme Burger with a side of heartburn. Does that come with a heart attack? Yes? I'll take that to go."

amelia-eve said...

I remain not all that impressed.

A regular Big Mac manages to pack the same 45 grams of fat into a mere 540 calories (suggesting that only 90 of its calories are NOT from fat, including the lettuce and pickle). And it doesn't even involve bacon or donuts.

I have always been a little curious about those deep fried Mars bars, though.

pooka said...

I'm having a coronary just looking at it...dear gods!

sciencegirl said...

But wait, before we're too scandalized at donut-burgers epitomizing the view of American food from Britain, let's be glad they haven't discovered that REAL American favorite: Deep Fried Twinkies. Available at a fairgrounds near you!

-Nancy

kerry said...

as bad as the cheeseburger on a doughnut sounds, the bacon and tomato on a doughnut (with sprinkles, no less) sounds even more vomit inducing. barf.

avocadohead said...

OK, I'm neither American nor British, so a pure unqualified foreigner's opinion:
Ingredients: American (check)
Result: disgusting (no nationality)

And if you want to go for bonafide American weird food (just to balance the deep-fried Mars bars and Spotted Dicks): the Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick have been amusing the US blogging community for quite a while - and they are microwaveable.

NB: Did I mention we Germans invented the Currywurst?

choiseul said...

I'm, uh, actually in Scotland currently (university study abroad). Maybe I'll have to pop down this weekend and see this for myself. And drag the other American exchange students, and maybe the Aussies, with me.

Michelle said...

Oh, I think I am going to be ill.

Da Mouse said...

Under the Radar, I don't have the stomach flu, but I was feeling nearly as sickly as you are when I read this.
Oh my goodness...krispy kreme and a burger. Yack!
It reminds me of a sandwich at a resturant here in Huntsville, AL--Mason's. It's the Monty Cristo. (I think I spelled that right.) It's a ham sandwich, deep fried, with confectioner's sugar sprinkled on top, and served with maple syrup. My husband got it once just to try it. He said it was good, but too much to handle. I don't think he'll ever get it again.

Lis Garrett said...

Ugh. That's just disgusting.

>:-(

Princeton McKinney said...

My son has been making donut breakfast sandwiches for years. He doesn't use the Krispy Kreme's, he uses a local bakery donut, and puts sausage, egg and cheeese on it. He loves it. I have never tried it, I kind of like my donuts by themselves. Plus, I don't burn 20,000 calories a day like he does. (OK, I'm exaggerating, but he burns a lot.)

But love that Pulp Fiction, yes I do! I'll take a couple of helpings of that.

Kaish said...

mmm.. main course AND dessert all in one bite...

I think i'll be avoiding Wales this weekend.. Abergavenny specifically.... i'm staying firmly on the ENGLAND side of the border.

Eeeeeew.

mhb said...

This post nearly made me vomit. I take this as evidence that I am a True American Patriot: Yes, I am going to a county fair next week where I will enjoy questionable entertainment and deep-fried foods, but this whole "Limeys Take It To Its Logical Conclusion" thing makes. me. sick.

funnycide said...

The concessions guy at Yarmouth-Dennis Red Sox games does burgers in donuts (I think one is the burger on a DD old fashioned and the other a patty buried in a jelly donut, barrrarrarf), but he calls them the Hurler and the Sinker. Basically, he just doesn't take it as seriously as these people. :)

frenchy said...

I was hoping the whole thing was sugary treats done up to look like a burger. I wasn't expecting it to be a real burger inside of a donut bun. yawn

Manda said...

Ewww! I was already nauseous from seeing the first pic, then I scroll down only to see that pork-filled, chocolate-covered mess. I think I'm going to vomit.

April said...

I've seen these Krispy Kreme burgers floating around on the web for a while now and I still can't get over the nausea that accompanies each photo. 1000 calories? jiminy cricket.

mb said...

I have heard of these burgers before when I liven in NC (where if it ain't fatty or fried, but both are better, it ain't good) but I could never stomach them! In the burger's defense... it looks better than it sounds, without sprinkels of course!

meg said...

Can your cholesterol levels increase by looking at pictures? Because I'm pretty sure that my body has just deposited a heaping load of it in my arteries. I don't particularly love doughnuts, nor am I a huge fan of burgers, but I eat both every once in a blue moon. Tolerable apart, but together...GAK.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

That's so weird, my colleague just showed me the Paula Deen burger (that anonymous posted above) yesterday! Paula Deen's is actually worse because she doesn't split the donut, she uses TWO as buns!
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/03/paula-deen-is-trying-to-kill-us-part-4-bacon-donut-egg-cheeseburger.html

Anonymous said...

Umm..no thanks. I think I just started my diet. ;)
~Amy

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Oh, yuck. No thanks, I'll take my burgers, bacon and donuts seperately!

Karen said...

Wow.

Poetry Sue said...

Holy Smokin' Joes Batman! That is awesomely gross. It probably would have been much better on a Dunkin' Donut. Krispy Kreme is so over played. hmmm its kind of a train wreck... you know it may make you sick to look but you just can't help it....

Carnalis said...

it is fun (even, perhaps, having a poke of fun) but it is also excellent advertising, and they look cool .. even if no-one would seriously (surely?) consider this a valid snack.

We brits like satire - but we only poke fun at peeps we really like.

@t .. people in the U.K. have trouble with the scope and size of the U.S.

???excuse me??? now who is making assumptions?

Deaf Brown Trash Punk said...

welll greeeattt. now i got a craving for a burger.

Anonymous said...

At first I thought it was alright. And then I saw Krispy Kreme. And then you add on the Bacon Burger + Frosting.

Then I thought about keeling over and dying.

As for the satire...I find it oddly amusing in it's own offensive manner...However, I would like to watch THEM eat those burgers.

: )

-Amy

msyendor said...

My I-Hop breakfast: 2 eggs, sunnyside up, and bacon between two buttermilk pancakes with warm maple syrup poured over. And, yes, a butter pat, too. And a pot of black tea to clean the palate and bring out the flavor in each bite. Ymmm.

Manders said...

EEWWW!!!

Anonymous said...

i'm pregnant, and that first burger is looking a little appetizing. is that wrong?

Hyla Waldron said...

YUK!
http://earthyfinds.blogspot.com

Twistie said...

da mouse, the Monte Cristo is a classic sandwich that has been around for a very long time. Not my favorite, but hardly something new. Even Disneyland had a version at one of their restaurants in the 60's. It's that classic.

under the radar, did you know the raisinless version of spotted dick is called "Drowned Baby?" Ignore the name. It's tasty.

Deep fried Twinkies originated in Scotland, not the US, though we have definitely done our best to make it a national food.

I'd also like to say a word in favor of suet puddings. I may be American as apple pie, but I've loved a good suet pudding since early childhood when my mother made them every Thanksgiving and Christmas as a treat. You don't taste the suet. It's simply the form of fat used to make a moist, cakey treat that can be flavored with nearly anything you please. The suet gives a similar texture to the dessert as butter does in a cake, and the amount used is comparable. What you taste isn't suet, but whatever flavor the pudding is. Ginger is a personal favorite.

As for whether we're being insulted or not...I think this is actually a pretty good parody on a certain slice of American culture, and our culture is diverse enough that you really can't parody all of it at once.

But I'm not touching those burgers, which, as several readers have already pointed out, have been more than available here in the US for at least several years.

So...Krispy Kreme burgers, Quentin Tarrantino, drive-in movies...yeah, that's all American. The drive-in movie theater is all but gone, but it's a part of our heritage. It's nice of someone to keep the flame alive, even if they are in another country.

Brooke said...

All I can think of right now is Jim Gaffigan and the "Donut-Ham-Hamburger" bit from his Beyond the Pale tour....I think someone owes him a check!

Maya said...

having had maple bacon donuts at Voodoo Donuts in Portland OR, I can vouch for the formula
donuts + bacon = awesome.

Chris said...

As disgusting as that may look, I can't help but think that it does combine salty and sweet... I'm willing to try it. I'm not saying it's something I'd order again (worrying about cholesterol levels and arteries seizing), but I wouldn't refuse a bite. Then again, I've had worse in my mouth(um... that came across worse than I intended.)

chris said...

oh lighten up, it's nothing compared to the cultural ignorance and sterotypes of other nations that the american media displays.

do you think they'd ice a message on the burger if you asked nicely?

Anonymous said...

I hate both burgers and donuts, so my first reaction was "Wow, two vile tastes that taste worse together!"

Anonymous said...

DISGUSTING!

suze said...

awww, I thought that was a beautifully executed hamburger cake. All glossy and shiny and pretty. You know, cake that looks like a hamburger. Not a meat cake. Gaag.

Then I read a bit. Now, I am the first to say that Krispy Kremes are so good I swear they have heroin in them they are so addictive. And god knows I loooove a good cheeseburger, have been known to drive 15 miles at midnight so shut a craving up. And I love the salty-sweet combo of GORP. But, keep thing in their places people!

YAAAK!

SuzannE E

jules said...

Hilarious, as I am sure it was meant to be, but disgusting. I have heartburn just looking at those.

Ginny said...

Hate to tell them.....but it's not an original idea. The late singer Luther Vandross used to eat a hamburger that was about a pound of beef, sandwiched between two jelly donuts. Not a lot to question as to the circumstances of his early demise. :)

And by the way...ewww! Thanks for the entertainment, as always!

John Seavey said...

I think I might actually be OK with it, if the donut weren't glazed. That's what's getting to me, the thought of picking up my burger and getting frosting all over your fingers. Isn't the point of the bun supposed to be that it makes it a relatively clean finger food?

Not that I'd eat it, even then (I have enough trouble losing weight) but I'd at least understand it as something edible.

Justine said...

The "ultimate American burger experience" is to be stuck behind the wheel of a minivan stuffed with six kids in sports uniforms fighting over one video game. Once you have the "stage set" you arrive at the Sonic Drive In after dark when everyone is so cranky and tired that you make them all order the same thing so they won't fight over the food when it arrives. When the food comes you pay a gajillion dollars and then watch helplessly as sodas, catsup, and fries are ground into the upholstery and carpet by your offspring and their team mates.

That is the true American burger experience! At least for most of us! :)

Leslie said...

One word sums it up for me.
"Urp"

Josie said...

Dieting enough and swearing off sweets and fried foods and burgers have actually made this seem like an all-in-one way to fulfill my cravings. Forever. One bite and I could be done!

Pleiades said...

That is the most unappetizing thing I have ever seen...

S Crespi said...

I'm surprised you didn't bring up the infamous hamburger cake (http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=hamburger+cake). I ate one of these with a side of giant cake fries and a little ramekin of red icing (ketchup). Yum.

Alison Purnell said...

The chippy down my street in Yorkshire has an "Americana" pizza on the menu. Toppings? Tuna and Sweetcorn. You can't get a more British pizza than that (unless you added chips) and they call it Americana!!

Jen said...

@Brooke: hey, someone just sent me that Jim Gaffigan clip! Here, listen for yourself
.

talida said...

The New York Google cafeteria serves these http://tinyurl.com/5wgdhr, and with bacon too: http://tinyurl.com/5wy2dp

Warren said...

The Krispy Kreme burger was, to the best of my knowledge, first proposed in a 2006 episode of The Boondocks, an animated series on CN's [adult swim] based on the Aaron McGruder comic of the same name.

In that episode (series ep #10, "The Itis", aired 22 Jan 2006) Grandpa talks about a Krispy Kreme burger. Prior to that show airing, I don't believe anyone had even thought of the idea.

The Illinois story broke five months after that episode aired.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Boondocks_episodes

Amanda said...

I didn't read all the comments, but if they truly wanted to insult us, they should have battered at least one of those creations and deep fried it.

irie said...

It'll give you the "itis."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0530303/

irie said...

Re: my previous post:

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I present to you The Luther. A full pound of burger patty covered in cheese, grilled onions, five strips of bacon, all sandwiched between...
Riley: Two donuts!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Two *Krispy Kreme* donuts

Crochet by Momma J said...

I have got to stop checking your blog after eating lunch - ewwww!

Anonymous said...

It may not be a cake either but speaking of donuts and burgers: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ccaviness/2625223578/

thenewsarahsundae said...

That is so gross. No words can describe how I feel right now.

Kristy said...

Well, it IS American, because Paula Deen made this exact burger (on a Krispy Kreme) on a show within the last year or two. It was for a ladies luncheon. Guess we know where these "Foodsmiths" get their inspirations.... Food Network.

You can watch her make it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y86j3fvViz4

Ophelia said...

@alison purnell - how amusing you bring up tuna and corn on pizza: they're two of the three Japanese pizza staples (the third is mayonnaise). Running a close fourth is shrimp, of course. The first food I ordered when I came home (after five years in Japan) was a big, meaty, fish- and corn-less pan pizza from Pizza Hut.

As for the Krispy Kreme burger, I'm all for it. Unless you plan to eat it all the time, eating something really unhealthy once in a while isn't going to kill you; and humanity has proven time and again that sweet and salty things go well together. If you want to deny it, what about those salted nuts-and-dried-fruits mixes? Sweet, and salty.

I've also had the opportunity to try a number of world cuisines and the "sweet" plus "meat" combo crops up surprisingly often, indicating to me at least that it's not universally revolting.

Maybe it's the form factor that makes the difference for people; chicken cooked in a sweet pastry sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon is a far cry from a half pound of beef stacked with cheese between two doughnuts :D

Michelle said...

Wow, that is scary. I feel lucky that I DON'T live across the pond right now...

Angel said...

Wow, these look like pregnant cravings instead of something you'd actually want to eat.

Funny, I'm pregnant and these don't look the least bit appetizing.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

Thanks for making my diet stick today. 1000 calories for a BURGER? You have to be kidding. Not to mention all the levels of wrong that is for putting such a glorious piece of meat on a donut!

An Apron Straitjacket said...

Yikers! They could've just named them "Heart Attack Special" and "Heat Attack
Special with Sprinkles".

Dorfmunder said...

Our Frontier League ball club park (Gateway Grizzlies) sells the Krispy Kreme burgers at concessions. They call it "Baseball's Best Burger." Blech.

ubyssey.volunteers said...

Umm, Big-On burger in Abbotsford, BC has had this burger for a long time. It's so delicious! Tom Green worked there once to do research for Freddy Got Fingered.

kitchenrefugee said...

It's Ramadan, I'm fasting and I was feeling a rumbly in my tumbly because I'm not eating lunch.

But *now* I don't feel hungry at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Thanks! :o)

Aaron said...

Unfortunately I've eaten a Krispy Kreme Burger when I was drunk before. I can assure you it is a terrible combination of flavors. The taste is just bizarre. I would not recommend it to anyone.

skatej said...

Hahah pregnant anonymous, I was JUST thinking that somewhere in the world a poor pregnant woman is craving that exact burger!
As for them making fun of us, all I'm going to say is, if we get to have "traditional" Irish pubs with people dressed like leprechauns and English pubs called Sherlock's and make the waiters dress up like early 20th century dandies, they can make fun of our high caloric obsessions.

Sheri in Rehoboth said...

Oh God, I just got back from having lunch (and it HAD to be a burger, didn't it?) and now I feel like I'm about to hurl after looking at those donut-burgers.

I love a good burger and a good donut, but I have never even THOUGHT of combining the two. YEEEUCK. (burp)

Kim said...

Oh god, the plastic-looking cheese is foul all by itself.

kahara said...

Ugh. My veins slammed shut just looking at it. Now I'll need a four-way bypass.

Deanna said...

That's OK. They probably owe us for all those years we've made fun of their teeth.

Erika said...

Please excuse this comment if it's a repeat of what someone else said. I unfortunately lack the patience to read all 99 of them before me.

This burger wreck reminds me of a much tastier version featured on (I think) the food channel that /was/ a cake (or dessert). It had a chocolate mousse "patty" in place of the meat, kiwi slices for pickles, strawberry slices for tomatoes, and cheese made out of a caramel-like candy made with passionfruit juice, to give it that cheddar color. All on a donut bun.

It's still a "no thanks, I couldn't fit out the door after eating that", but not quite as gross as actual meat and cheese on a donut. Ew.

Anonymous said...

This isn't much different than McDonald's mcgriddles sandwich, right? A sausage patty between two layers of syrup-soaked pancakes. I guess it is American!

Dea said...

GROSS! Ick! But yeah - like the UK can talk about anything culinary - BEANS for breakfast? Spotted Dick? Haggis? Blah....I think I could stomach the donut burger over any of that...

yousuckatcraigslist said...

@frenchy:

There is an all-donut version: In Boston there is a bakery (can't remember the name) that makes a cheeseburger donut:

Cheeseburger donut!

It's a glazed donut with a chocolate donut "patty", with creme drizzled on top to make it look like cheese.

And they serve it in a styrofoam clamshell.

Anonymous said...

After reading about the Krispy Kreme burgers a couple of years ago a group of us would not rest until we made them. Now, I don't eat meat, so I was only a witness, but everyone there said it was among the best things they ate and compared the experience to dipping sausage into your maple syrup and wrapping it into a pancake - in other words it was like a McGriddle without the egg. I believe it was rated higher than the deep fried mac and cheese (which was wrapped in bacon before it was fried).

I would consider it an American delicacy myself.

Stopher and Nicolle said...

i believe they have this at every fair in the states. we had it with chicken at the LA County Fair. chicken with a donut has got to be better than burger...

Jo said...

hmmm,Abergavenny, that's not that far away...

;D

Shay said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

irie said...

The episode I posted of Boondocks aired in January 2006, which means it had to have been written well before that, as the show is animated, which still takes months of lead time.

That's the earliest I heard of it, but it certainly doesn't mean that was the origin. We should do a search!

Edith said...

Bompas and Parr organise rubbish events. I went to their 'Architectural Jelly Banquet' in London a few months back. They charged 5 GBP (10 USD) entry (fair enough), but then the jellies on display were not for eating, and if you did want any jelly you had to pay 2 GBP for the tiniest portion of jelly I've ever seen. The entertainment at the event was lame, the only upside was that a drinks company was doing a promotion where they gave you a voucher and you then got to stand in a queue for an hour to get a free drink. That was the most enjoyable part of the event.

It could have been such an amazing thing; I was bitterly disappointed. Avoid Abergavenny.

(to answer your question, they're probably being 'ironic' rather than taking the piss.)

**Melissa** said...

Big fan here!! Just to say I really enjoy your blog and that it took a while to open your page today, it says there's an error on the website??? I hope it's just today because I like reading you everyday!!!

SpamWriter said...

I think it's time to head out for dinner... It's making me hungry...

I'd take it apart for a "burger salad" and dessert too!

mmm... hamburger...

Ashley Sumners said...

This reminds me of another similar horrible thing that I saw a while back. It's in a series called Paula Deen Is Trying To Kill Us:
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/03/paula-deen-is-trying-to-kill-us-part-4-bacon-donut-egg-cheeseburger.html
Disgusting.

Sarah said...

I've been craving burgers for the last few days. Not anymore D:

Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_Burger

this has been around for awhile.

holly said...

At first glance, I'm thinking 'kinda gross'. I'm not a big donut fan. But then I thought about it. I've eaten besteeya at my favorite Moroccan restaurant. It's phyllo dough stuffed with ground chicken, eggs, cinnamon, and almonds, and dusted with confectioner's sugar. When I first read the menu, my reaction was the same, however it is one of the best things I'v ever tasted. Ya never know.

Twistie - is suet pudding anything like fig pudding? Because that is one of the best things, IMO.

Anonymous said...

The Luther Burger was actually ORIGINALLY invented by the greatest R&B singer ever to have graced a studio and stage...Luther Ronzonzi Vandross.

The story (as told by him & by his mother after his death in 2005) goes that he was cooking himself a homemade hamburger when he realized that he didn't have any hamburger buns. He did, however, have a box of Krispy Kremes. So as a substitute, he used 2 doughnuts as buns. Thus, creating the famous Luther Burger.

Anyone else who claims to have invented this is a liar & a thief.

God bless you, Luther. Thank you for wonderful baby-making music. May you rest in piece.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Amy, Drinker of the Beers, Spewer of Bad Word said...

the gateway grizzlies serve a Luther burger that is a double bacon cheese burger on a krispy kreme

Frugal Vet Tech said...

Ugh, that makes my stomach turn (and I don't have a weak stomach).

Kimberly said...

Ew. 'nuf said.

CarolAnn said...

This years Texas State Fair will feature chicken fried bacon. I kid you not.

Calantha said...

I think my left ventricle just shut down. Medic!

I like mixing salty and sweet, but that.......ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Willis Family said...

This is wrong on so many levels. WOW!!

Anonymous said...

I had the munchies. I saved this under "diet tips". I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

Megan D. said...

Good grief. Wow. Just, wow. I sure hope they have some thick gravy milkshakes available to wash those burgers down! You can tell who's had one by the greasy brown mustache they have on their upper lip!

And a group of burgers is not a 'flock'. It is called a 'glut' of burgers.
You're welcome.

Mel said...

I've worked at the baseball stadium that has the Krispy Kreme burgers mentioned by several posters for the last 6 seasons. Each season they figure out some new concoction to top the year before.

And no, I've never eaten any of them. The sight of them grosses me out.

pika23 said...

I would eat that...this coming from someone who eats choc chip cookies dipped in ketchup. mmmm...it's the sweet salty thing.

Anonymous said...

LOL, I live near Abergavenny, I should go down there and have a try XD

Skiriki said...

Whenever a chap from Jolly Ol' Blighty (That's Great Britain) says 'pudding', they mean 'dessert that can be pretty much whatever from an actual US-sense of pudding to a cake-like thing'. The latter is closer to Spotted Dick (which is a shamelessly good dessert, and now I crave for some), and if suet is not your cup of tea or unavailable, substitute it with some butter.

That said, I once ran an analysis of Fool's Gold Sandwich (and Elvis Diet myth that accompanies it), and you can see the results of it from here:

http://skiriki.livejournal.com/47489.html

Anonymous said...

Bleah!

I once saw directions, OTOH, for cute individual children's birthday party desserts made with sliced leftover pound cake, cut, arranged, and frosted to look like grilled cheese sandwiches. The article also suggested "french fries" made from sticks of fresh papaya as a side dish.

Under the Radar said...

@ Twistie- Awesome!! Next on CakeWrecks: "Drowned Baby Suet Pudding Baby Butt Cake!!!!"

>YARF<

and @ megan d- WOW I didn't think this could get any worse!! GRAVY MILKSHAKES!!

Amy said...

this could in fact be brilliant satire, considering our American love-affair with gut-busting fast food and general idiocy

And, of course, mindless violence.

smartcookie said...

Check out the Luther Burger in Sally Sampson's book Recipe of the Week: Burgers (Wiley 2008). If you are so inclined, you can make a donut burger of your own!!! haha. According to the author, Luther Vandross invented / loved this burger.

shannon said...

i kinda want to vomit, but i have to say (and sorry if someone posted this already) that Jim Gaffigan should get royalties off the idea...lol...just reminds me of his joke from a few years ago ("Beyond the Pale" comedy special) of the "Donut Ham Hamburger"... even funnier now that it's a reality.

clueuin said...

To Anonymous (the prenant one); Although somebody already mentioned it. Yeah, that was the first thing on my mind too when I read it. (Well techinacally it was the 2nd thing I thought because when I 'saw' it I thought Jen was going to say it was a cake. Boy was I wrong!)
I was going to comment on whether or not it was a satire but ya'll commentators are to good man! (Tsk I had some real good comments too! And you would have loved it Jen it was short and to the point. Well [Shruggs]
Rule Britanna! You stoled Indian curry, and co-opted German food, so hey you can't win them all! Better luck next time!
Peace,
Clueuin

Born a Brit said...

The ultimate?????? What????? That, my friends, shows why we can't trust the Brits no matter how many wars they've sided with us. That statement is just plain insulting. I'll have you ignorant Limes know there are French restaurants in the USA too!

While most traditional British food is absolutely nasty, we can't make fun of their cuisine anymore because the Indians and Pakistanis have saved the food in that country.

Crazy Raven Productions said...

If by "whet your appetites" you mean "made you throw up a little in your mouth", mission accomplished! Ugh. Maybe in college, but not now.

Stop and smell the Daisies said...

This blog made me CRY! Seriously, I laughted until I cried!
Thank you!

Heidi said...

I like that they modeled their food after a restaurant in GA that went out of business and a minor league baseball team that is using the Krispy Kreme burger as a ticket sales gimmick - because the team is hanging by a thread. I know when I'm looking for quality recipes, those are the sources I usually turn to ;D

Heidi

Sarah said...

maybe its just my hormones, but that first one looks really yummy! Mmmmmmm!

Nykie said...

Donuts are a type of fried cake, no? So these surely work as cake wrecks.

Da Mouse said...

Twistie,
Thanks for the info. I had only come to know it at Mason's over here. Obviously, it's not anything new to deep fry and sprinkle sugar on anything now-a-days. :D And, I have to admit, I'm first to say "Hey, I want to try that...one day" when it comes to deep fried anything.

fueledbylil said...

the baby's mouth actually kinda looks like a giant moustache.

better late than never said...

Please don't think that these pretentious jellymakers know anything about being American...they are only out to make a quick buck (excuse the pun). I am British (and living oh so close to Abergavenny) and they offend me! They are on the 'fringe' of the food festival where they belong. Flock of burgers! Ridiculous!

seryan said...

At first glance, I saw the mouth on the baby cake as being a gag. Then I realized that was my reaction.

- Seryan

buttercup31 said...

Can you actually refer to yourself as an "architectural foodsmith" if you've simply taken something that has already been created (and done better) and added a gherkin?

Meike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ruth said...

In Bompas & Parr's defence, they really are artchitectural foodsmiths, not bakers. Their food is for looking at, not for eating.

Their Jelly Banquet was not actually about eating jelly, but about making jellies that look like buildings, designed by architects, including Norman Foster.

ezzie lou au said...

if you think burgers made from donuts are bad, you should check out the all aussie bogan burger

http://www.taste.com.au/news+features/articles/412/bogan+burger+not+for+the+fainthearted

Mauri said...

It's the Luther Burger!!!!!

I saw this burger on an Episode of the Boondocks, when Grandpa opens a soulfood restaurant. They also had a version of it (I think w/o donuts) on The Simpsons called a "Good Morning Burger."


BUt come on, is it really that different from McGriddles (which are pretty tasty.....)

cinnarose said...

Oh please, my friend had the market on the doughnut bacon sandwich *way* before these people! Proof: http://flickr.com/photos/techgirl/1562946576/

shichan said...

I'd like to point out, in light of a hamburger and krispy kreme union such as these... unique confections, a Jim Gaffigan skit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSeN4ZogP3o&feature=related

after thirty seconds it should make sense. ^_^

I LOVE YOUR BLOG. <3333 I used to work at a 31 flavors and had a small taste of cake decorating, so this is a load of fun for me. ^_^

thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

LOL!! That's not a hamburger..THIS is a hambuger cupcake
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lecupcake/2869308129/
Another Flickr find.....

Dominique said...

Architectural foodsmith? Good lord, I feel sorry for people who actually go through training to have anything to do with the architecture industry, only to be lumped with the kind of people who promote heart-disease for a quick dollar. Now where's my Krispy Kreme!?

Yénifer said...

My stomach is rolling... I can't get this expression off my face, either - it's the sort of expression that maggots typically provoke in people. Oh, my stomach... What an appetite killer those abominations are to me...

Helena said...

This is the sort of thing that makes me ashamed to be British. Ok, not quite, but you get my point. Perhaps I should just say that I'm English and point out that Abergavenny is in Wales. Abergavenny is also a small, depressed ex-mining town so we may have to forgive them for their culinary sins.

But anyway, British food is actually quite nice, contrary to popular belief. It's only because we had rationing in WWII and when the American GIs came they didn't much like the food that we had to make do with. But food HAS moved on since then! There's an American girl in my year who moved here 8 weeks ago. Whilst we're still trying to convince her about Twiglets, she is actually coping lol.

However, there are still pockets of utter terribleness. Like the time I went to Coalford, an incredibly depressing ex-mining town. I went into a coffee shop and asked for a piece of cake, which turned out to be stale (yum, yum), so I went to the bakery. When I asked for a sticky bun, it turned out to be a bread roll filled with squirty cream and half a glace cherry. *head desk*

Just for reference, the British invented Korma curry in Birmingham, which is now regularly served up in India (I've seen it with my own eyes).

Has anyone here had proper Christmas Pudding with cream? That's REALLY nice.

Helena xxx

kjward518 said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

wolfsilveroak said...

Ever heard of a 'Luther Burger'?

Named for Luther Vandross, it's a Krispy Kreme donut with hamburger patties, sharp chedder cheese, and 2 slices of bacon. The donut has been sliced in half, then grilled first.

Yeah.

No thanks.

Nulono said...

WANT!

Anonymous said...

ha. my mom and i actually saw the previously-referred-to paula deen episode where she concots a similar "brunch" item just this wewek, and we cannot stop talking about it. were were both sick and watching the food network, and we saw a "food to come" kind of clip of the burger right before a commercial break- i swear we argued throughout all the commercials with something along the lines of "that's not a burger" "yes it is, mom" "no, that's just too gross for words..." "but mom, it's PAULA DEEN"...
Although she spices it up by placing the meat, egg and bacon between TWO donuts - no cutting corners for Mrs. Deen.

i still cannot believe this really exists.

m_write_blog said...

That burger is a variant on "The Luther," a favorite snack of R&B singer Luther Vandross. No kidding.

http://www.snopes.com/food/origins/luther.asp

Rhiannon said...

Just to counter the sheer hatred of Bompas and Par (who I think are pretty nifty)...
I know its a while since this first came to air, but if you actually go on the Bompas and Parr website, they don't claim to have made the bugers as a new idea - they actually say "Visitors were treated to Luther Burgers" (http://www.jellymongers.co.uk/drivethru.html)

Nulono said...

Am I a bad person if I want one SO BAD!!!

OMG WANT!

Rick Missoula Bike Rider said...

After a great bike ride it might refill the engine. I don't like sweet with my protein.
Rick

Anonymous said...

Wow. This is so gluttonous that there is a piece of me that WANTS to like it...but it just looks so stinkin' gross.

Cupcakes Lady said...

As bad as the cheeseburger on a doughnut sounds, the bacon and tomato on a doughnut (with sprinkles, no less) sounds even more sickening. :| Not for me! xx

Lucy said...

Ugh. Speaking as a veggie, that is revolting. Even if I did still eat meat, I would not touch anything like that! It's like your arteries are clogging just by *looking* at that monstrosity! :O