Friday, September 19, 2008

Mixed Signals

Friday, September 19, 2008

Some cakes are hard to read, and for once I'm not talking about the handwriting:



A screaming baby paired with "congratulations"? Ah, that's subtle sarcasm at its snarky finest.




Here's a tip gleaned from years of family reunions: the second Mrs. Klass asks "What's that supposed to mean?", it's time to leave. Trust me.


Of course some cakes are more subtle, like this one:


"We'll wish you luck, but we don't have to be happy about it."


Or just baffling, like this one:


I'm not sure if this guy is supposed to look afraid of being eaten, disapproving, or in pain from his "shades" melting onto his face. Say, there's a bit of unintentional ironic realism for you: sunglasses melted onto the face of the sun. Heh.


If Mr. Future's-So-Bright's feelings are ambivalent, though, these cookies are clearly ticked off:


Poor angry cookies. At least their pain is my sugary gain - and I get the added bonus of talking smack to my food. "What, you lookin' at me, punks? Huh? How's about I drown you in some milk before biting your heads off, then? Yeah, not so puffed up now, are you, tough guys?"


And finally [smirk],

All that black - and black roses, no less! - makes this look more like a final retirement cake, if you catch my drift. It gets double Wreck points for the "Retiremet" misspelling, too.



Brittany M., Elizabeth G., Jessica C., Linda N., Monique R., and Jill C., many "thanks".
kitchenrefugee said...

I wonder if I am the "first" to post? I "doubt" it though.
I hope someone will identify and translate the language on the unhappy cookies, which look a wee bit piratical to me. Arrr! (It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day). I'm guessing it's Czech or Polish, am I close?

Amy said...

Damn, I haven't left enough space for the whole word. I'll just leave out the "n"--bet no one will notice.

Scott Sherlock said...

All right first picture... Close you eyes and think Mario... Open them. That's a heck of a mustache on that baby... DA DA DA DUN DA DAH!

Carolyn said...

Hey I love that baby cake. It looks quite well done! And I'm all for keeping it real when it comes to babies and kids. Better to let that new mom know what she's in for! (This is a mother of 5 speaking!)

ChatRabbit said...

Ouch- that first one looks like a circumcision cake.
Congratulations, indeed!

Cindy said...

Maybe I'm weird, but if there was a cake like the "Good Luck Jerry" cake at my going-away party, I'd be touched. I'm seeing that they really are wishing Jerry luck, but they can't smile about it because they don't want him to go. Snf.

The sun cake looks like the decorator put a smile on, then either decided or was told that the smile looked too small and needed to be wider, so she added a bit of icing and voila! Painful grimace!

Anonymous said...

I would pay double for angry cookies. I'm inspired to make them...

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Make of it what you will, but when younger brother was born, Mom made birth announcements that looked just like that first cake.

I think the unhappy cookies are Romanian. The cost converts to approx. $2.90 USD. If anyone makes a trip to Romania, I'll pitch in to bring some back.

Hyla Waldron said...

Hahahahahahahaha! lmao!

~Hyla
http://earthyfinds.blgospot.com

The White Family said...

Romanian. :)

April said...

Hah! I love the image of you talking smack to a cookie right before you bite its head off. You should do that in public then report back here. :)

kerrie said...

Actually, that baby cake is really funny and quite well done. I'm still not thrilled with the idea of cutting into a baby cake, but … this one is pretty cute.

And those cookies are awesome. Hope they taste good.

Flartus said...

Arrrgh! Can't believe I forgot about Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Anyway, I really like the first cake--as a childless-by-choice woman, it makes me smile. And it's done very well, too.

On the other hand, that "ball and chain" cake just looks like "pile o'poo on a rope." I can see the hostess now--"Who wants extra poo??"

Brenda said...

Maybe that "retirement" cake is really supposed to say, "Happy Interment" ?

Andreea said...

It's Romanian. Weeper Cookies (I think fancies would be a more appropriate term) with Jam. :)

Kari said...

The language is Romanian. :-)

Kari said...

Oh, and for the words: "Sportul" is the brand name. Under that, the words on the top of the circle say say "fancy cakes with jam", and underneath, "weeping". (The price label says "weeping fancy cakes.)

Binevenit! :-)

The Brain Twinkey said...

Great stuff! I love finding blogs like this. Anything that makes me laugh is good quality fun! I'll be back.

http://braintwinkey.blogspot.com

TBD said...

about the pirate jelly cookies - the language is Romanian, "Plangacila" = weeper and they are also called EmoCake ;) (cost ~$3/package)

clueuin said...

Too Funny!
And the baby cake well that's realism for ya! ;)
Ball and Chain, yep makes me want to go out and get married! Hyuk!
Hey! And on the frownie cookies, just imagine the fun you have smashing it into crumbs if your having a bad day!

Peace!
Clueuin

Anonymous said...

I think the first two are actually pretty funny. I don't know if they're really "wrecks" so much.

8 is the new normal said...

Awesome! You take DOWN those cookies! Tell 'em who's boss girl! Yeah!

sues2u2 said...

On that baby cake? I love that the "congratulations" is on the baby's diaper! Is this to congratulate the new parents on the numerous disgusting & no doubt smelly things to come their way?

The rest of them? Hilarious as usual!

Hotch Potchery said...

I am glad that was a screaming baby....when I first glanced at the picture (I usually like to read your commentary before I look carefully), I thought that baby was gagged...eesh.

Ale said...

I guess the language on the cookies is romanian,sportul studentesc is a romanian footbal club.
anyhow this blog is offers me everyday a laugh so thank you very much:-)
Ale

Annalee said...

The screaming baby is AWESOME!

*Michelle said...

While the first two are great wrecks - the angry cookies just might be my favorite!!

paul said...

It is Romanian. Plângăcilă is the brand name. Fursecuri cu gem means Cookies With Jam.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the "Retiremit" is German. For...something.

MetalNoir said...

Hey--I'm LOVING these appropriate cakes, being a cynical guy (the "Congratulations" cake, the ball-n-chain wedding cake, and the poopy-face "good luck" cake are all great).

A word on the unhappy cookies:

In Pittsburgh where I live, the Eat 'n' Park Family Restaurant chain makes what they call Smiley Cookies. They've been doing this for decades now. Here's what one looks like:

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_6QShpZ0i1Ds/RkdoBt2-pXI/AAAAAAAABWs/JGsf84ER-bw/PC310179.JPG

King's Family Restaurant, a competing chain, began making Frownie Brownies a few years back as an answer to the Smileys:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3038/2653561627_26b6a954b9.jpg?v=0

I'd rather eat a brownie than a too-sweet iced sugar cookie any day.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think they spelled it 'retiremit,' as there is a dot by the 2nd 't.' BTW - Isn't cake supposed to represent happy times?

Rob said...

That baby one is pretty cute, even if the poor kid is crying. I think that unlike the other baby cakes, this one would at least be edible given the cartoon nature of it, right?

As for "retiremet," I'm happy not to be ready for it if it means that a sad picture of me is going to be immortalized in fondant and black frosting roses. I mean, really... BLACK?

As always, hilarious.

DNfromMN said...

I think there needs to be a cakewreck special on black frosting. Even on the baby cake, ew. That's up there with the electric blue as far as unappetizing.

And those angry cookies look so familiar. WHY? For some reason I remember cookies with a face like that and I'm associating that with delicious. Google won't translate it, but it appears to be Romanian.

Deaf Brown Trash Punk said...

so um... is the "Good Luck Jerry" cake supposed to refer to cancer or something? Sure sounds like it.

Obsidian Dragon said...

I actually think that the first one is hilarious. Oh, irony.

Anonymous said...

Unhappy cookies and a depressing retiremit cake. Ahh, irony.
~Amy

Anonymous said...

So as for the 'angry cookies'....they are actually the crying cookies, they are Romanian...need I say more. And and they are layered cookies with a layer of jelly or jam in the middle.

Amanda said...

That baby looks more like he's been muzzled than screaming. Maybe its congrats for finally getting the baby to shut up?

Kudos to kitchenrefugee for celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Dea said...

Gotta love a frilly pink cake with a big ol' black ball and chain - with sprinkles, because THOSE make it FUN!

These are cracking me up - I want to try the angry cookies! lmao

Temperance said...

I like the sarcastic edge to the first two. But the cookies are adorable.

monster said...

Too much black icing...I'd hate to go to those parties and have "blackmouth syndrome" after getting stuck with the piece with the black icing!

Ray said...

Kudos for whoever recognized that was a screaming baby, because it kinda just looks like a diseased kidney laying across its face

FunnyHairpin said...

"I'm so hoppy to be retiring!"

BTW, I posted an entry on my site about Cake Wrecks a few days ago.

Tanzie said...

I must admit though, the baby likeness of the first cakewreck shown is not so bad!! Props for that!

PandaBear said...

Do people actually BUY the cakes from bakeries when something is misspelled? They would have to offer the cake to me for free AND give me another because I wouldn't dare put a cake like that in front of my guests! That is just so unprofessional.

People, people, people, if you aren't sure how to spell something, there is this wonderful word book called a "Dictionary", ever heard of it??

3BG said...

I want my food to be happy about being eaten damn it!
Those cookies remind me of a really bad Stephen King book based movie. "Yhe Langoliers?" Maybe

Anonymous said...

Okay what is that black thing supposed to be on the Mrs. Klass cake? It looks like a pile of ants...

Cassykins said...

I enjoy Mr Retiree's shirt in the photo. It looks like a cake wreck all on it's own!

Mongoose said...

Oh, that first one is just too good. If I had kids and they or their girlfriends got pregnant, I'd get them that cake. And then inside the cake would be an envelope with a 30-day eviction notice from my house.

I guess it's lucky I don't have kids, eh? If I ever get pregnant, I'll buy me that cake myself.

And next time I bake cookies they're gonna be all kinds of angry!

mary said...

I'm getting arch spasms just looking at how the baby's toes are curled in such an awkward way.

And, it kind of looks like "Hoppy Retiremet" to me, which doesn't mean anything, but certainly adds to the, uh, uniqueness, of the cake?

Lindsey said...

I love the first two cake, I don't think they're wrecks at all. They're well-done and hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I once made heart-shaped cookies for valentine's day with very jaded, cynical faces. My boyfriend loved them.

Fluffy Cow said...

Looks to me like the baby was wearing a sleeping mask that slipped down!

And, YEAH I want some angry cookies!!

and um... BTW- AARRRGGHH!

joyce said...

No excuse---but was the "artist" trying to match the camo-hunting colors in the retiree's shirt to the piping on the cake??

And "congratulations" on the diaper--no wonder the baby is crying.

spirko said...

I see that Mrs. K's cake is supposed to be a ball and chain, and boy is that hilarious. That never gets old. Apparently.

But at first glance, I swear I thought it was a cartoon-style bomb (of the "Spy Vs. Spy" vintage. I guess that would be even more insulting.

Carrie said...

Avast! I want yon pissed off cookies to give to many numerous people...

emocookies - LOL Arrgh mateys... too funny!

Allison K. O'Connor said...

I love this blog, I check it often when I need a little pick-me-up! I think my favorite cake from this post is the baby. It also looks like it has something over its mouth! Funny stuff.

missexpatria said...

Re the sunglasses one, I have a theory/fantasy: The person who wanted the cake tried to write something to the baker in an online format, it was misconstrued as an emoticon, and got animated by the email programming code. Voila! Cake Wreck!

Tanya said...

The baby cake is actually pretty cute.

Those mean face cookies are awesome. I need me some of those.

It took me forever to figure out that big black glob was supposed to be a ball and chain. I must be slow.

writtenwyrdd said...

I found your blog via Judge a Book by its Cover blog and spent an evening laughing my butt off! You're hilarious, and the pictures don't hurt either.

Jenster said...

I just discovered your site and laughed so hard I might need a new lung! I rarely order professionally done cakes and now I'm soooo glad.

I want to let you know that I linked to your site so others can enjoy your wonderful blog.

http://visitorsday.blogspot.com/2008/09/free-straitjacket-friday-now-with-cake.html

Arial said...

Is that supposed to be a pacifier in the baby's mouth? Why use black for a mouth or a pacifier?

kristin said...

Still making me laugh!! One of the funniest blogs I know!

kodoswasbetter said...

I totally didn't think it was a crying baby. I thought it was a baby with a Tom Selleck Mustache

Greg

Anonymous said...

The baby reminded me of something out of Charlie Brown cartoons, like when they get frustrated and yell. That could be an infant Charlie Brown!! He's crying because he has no yellow and black striped shirt!

Carolyn said...

I really enjoy this blog - some friends told me about it and it has me cracking up almost daily!

I can't help it - I now want a screaming baby cake (I am 8 mo. preg) It's hilarious in a twsited kind of way ;) (I'll pass on those creepy, headless baby-butt cakes - yikes!)

Amaocha said...

Aye my suspicions be right about ye emocookies. Romanian writing n' one. Me lovely wench confirmed it, she bein' a Romanian beauty n' all.
Yarr!

Can't say I dun appreciate cryin' babe cake and Ms.K's cake .

Twistie said...

Great. Now I'm going to have nightmares about furious/weepy cookies coming to seek revenge for all their brethren I've eaten over the decades.

Black frosting on cakes is a bad idea. A black frosting ball and chain on a wedding cake has to the one of the most appalling things I've ever seen done to pastry.

Tenorman said...

The "Retiremet" cake is actually a wreck because of the mis-spelling. Might even be worth it to send it off to another similar blog spot...FAIL!!

CaliGirl9 said...

Yarrr! Methinks I will be a bakery wench this weekend and bake me some frowny cookies in the galley! It be me mood after a busy week!

Avast mateys! Have a good weekend!

Anonymous said...

that last one looked like "Hoppy" retiremet to me...

readsalot said...

This blog makes my day better. Thanks for all the funny pics!

Kate said...

I think the baby cake is awesome!!

Are you sure that the ball and chain cake was done by a professional? There's aluminum foil on the board- not very professional!! :)

Duane said...

I would not want to be the one who ended up with the diaper part of the baby cake... especially if the case is chocolate :)

Jorge Patiño said...

The baby is sort of cute. I like it :s

Renee said...

oddly enough a friend of mine is taking a trip to Romania next month with some friends. I sent him the link and he has promised to bring me back some! I will report back.....

Trevor said...

My Romanian co-worker has confirmed they are indeed Romanian. She says even she doens't know why they are so unhappy though!

Lisa Wilson said...

The baby cake (on top) looks like a sleeping eye mask is over the baby's mouth. It doesn't look like it's screaming. Weird.

Princeton McKinney said...

The baby cake is kinda cute, other than that scary black mouth. I never got a retirement cake. Oh yeah, I fired myself twice before finally retiring! Love the cookies.

Celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day
http://blackwordswhitepaper.blogspot.com/2008/09/aaaaaargh-ten-things-you-need-to-know.html

Anonymous said...

Noticed the vertical swipe on the ball and chain cake. You mean they fixed it and this is what they WANTED it to look like???????

Risk Taker said...

I saw a link to your blog on another blog that I was reading and I couldn't stop looking at all the different cakes you have on here. It's just funny! I didn't know people actually made crazy cakes like this.

Tara said...

My 2 yr old just stared at the screen saying, "Sad cake. Sad cookie..."

Sheri in Rehoboth said...

I would have been quite sad if my retirement cake had black roses and black trim. How positively...funereal.

My coworkers did a beach theme for my party when I retired this May, so the cake MAY make you a little seasick, but here it is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sheriava/2529447932/

Catherine said...

I agree about the baby cake -- it looks like the baby's mouth has been covered with black tape! Maybe the baby is being held as a hostage...

Amy said...

That retirement cake looks like it was from Wal-Mart so no surprise that it was spelled wrong. I will never buy another cake from Wal-Mart after having my cake not get made last time.

KT said...

Did anyone notify Cliff Huxtable that this man stole his sweater???

Anonymous said...

So why do Romanians enjoy weeping jam cookies? There has got to be an explanation!

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the "Jerry" cake was for Jerry on Big Brother 10.... And in that case, it's perfectly appropriate.

Chris said...

I have to laugh at the smiley faces, especially the frowns. LOL And I like the angry cookies. Where can I get me some?

fug estate said...

Oh goodness, that baby cake makes me shudder. The mouth is bigger than the word "congratulations". With that much focus on the screaming, maybe the designer should add "and Good Luck!"

Those pissed-off cookies are the best. I know of a few birthday parties where those could be put to good use.

Poetikat said...

If they HAD to put a photo on that cake, you'd think they could have got one with the husband in something that looked a bit less like a road map.

Kat

John said...

i think jerry is getting a vasectomy.

Jennifer Armintrout said...

Oh no. What is going to happen to Jerry?

Marketing Gurl said...

Love Love love the baby cake!

Chromesthesia said...

If those unhappy cookies have chocolate in them I want them.

faunablues said...

I think some chocolate ganache underneath the fondant diaper of the Sarcastic Baby Cake would be a nice touch.

CVD said...

Oh my gosh Jen! This one kills me. I'm laughing at all of them of course, but then I get to this one. I can't help it. The angry cookies?!?! And then the Retiremet cake?!

Hilarious. Thank you!!

JustAGirl said...

Is it just me, or does the "a" of "Happy" look more like an "o"? Or am I raising more inappropriate questions by trying to figure out what a "Hoppy Retiremet" really means?!?

ashleybayles said...

Nothing wrong with black roses.. i had a red rose that was spray painted half black when I graduated from high school.. it matched my dress perfectly!

bionelly said...

I just have to say I found it funny that the ad at the bottom of the page (for me, at least) is for diaper cakes, which seem like a worse offense than a meat-and-sushi cupcake-cake made to look like a realistic baby with a misspelled inscription with unnecessary quotation marks. Seriously, why would you make something that appears to be a cake out of something that's not only inedible, but is going to end up with an unspeakable "filling"?!?

Myst said...

I love the baby cake! Thanks for making me laugh out loud this morning!

Tales of a Saxy Ballerina said...

I don't think thats professionaly made. Does anyone else see the maceys (or wal-mart?) bakery sign on there?

Libby said...

When I looked at the retirement cake the first thing I saw was "Hoppy Retiremet." What, If I might ask, is a retiremet, and why would you want it to be hoppy? Just wondering. Anyways, I didn't even see the black roses until I glanced at the paragraph underneath the photo. Yup, it's late, and yes, I'm blind!

Anonymous said...

I'll admit, as someone who has survived 3 children so far, I'm loving the first cake.

Mina said...

The screaming baby cake... are you sure its not a "Happy First Diaper Change" for the father?

With "congratulations" written on the diaper and the fact the baby is crying/screaming, I'd guess its the baby's first poo and I can't imagine a mother getting this cake.

Belle said...

If i look at the first one too long it looks like someone put a black bandanna over his mouth to stop it from screaming. Either way, wrong message.

Just Ducky said...

The confusing sun cake looks like it was inspired by the intro to Look Who's Talking. At any moment, I expect to hear Bruce Willis voice come from the cake.

Cupcakes Lady said...

I like the sarcastic edge to the first two. But the cookies are adorable. Love em! lol