Monday, September 8, 2008

I Think I've Just Been Punk'd

Monday, September 8, 2008

If you guys thought the first wedding disaster cake was bad, hold on to your pantaloons.

Alright, let's set the scene: here's what the bride asked for, only in all white with minor green accents.




Now, I would tell you to take a moment to prepare yourselves for the horror you're about to witness, but frankly no amount of time would be adequate. So just go ahead and scroll down now.



I'll give you a moment.

[whistling]

Back in your seat now? Good. Because believe it or not, there's more. Aw yeah.

1) The top tier still had the Springform pan under it.

2) The cake "base" is a metal sign.

3) I swear I am not making this up.

Ok, so the bottom levels are covered with a fondant lumpier than the Bearded Lady's thighs, and the top tier is the wrong shape and isn't even iced completely. I see all that, and yet you know what the funniest bit to me is? Those green lines up the sides, which I can only assume are attempts at "ribbons": not only are they as unlike ribbons as icing can possibly get, but they don't even line up! Somehow that last bit of lunacy just sends me over the edge.

(This post is also the first in a new category: Missed Marks. Because nothing is quite so wrecktastic as when you see what it was supposed to look like.)

Now like you, I'm sure, I was highly skeptical about this being a "professional" cake. However, the e-mail came from the bride herself, and she seemed outraged enough to be telling the truth. (Yes, a replacement cake was procured at the eleventh hour.) I can only assume the icing and generic tips in the photo were purchased to try and "fix" the cake after it was picked up. In fact, Vicky C., if you're reading this, you might want to chime in on the Comments section now, just to back me up here.

[crickets chirping]

Vicky? Er, Vicky, c'mon now, this isn't funny.

[crickets still chirping]

Seriously, Vicky: tell the people I'm telling the truth. Vicky? Er...Vicky?


Vicky?!?

UPDATE: YES!! Vicky the bride has spoken!!! Check the Comments section for her assurances of this cake's validity. (You'll have to scroll waaaay down; you guys are certainly letting your voices be heard on this one, aren't you?)
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Liz said...

What the...I thought our wedding cake was bad....(no tiers like ordered, just the layers plunked down on each other and barely enough to feed everyone.) Poor bride.

~Liz

Yvonne said...

OMG. If that would’ve been my wedding cake, I probably would’ve killed the cake designer. And not even as a figure of speech.. I would’ve seriously injured him/her.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Words escape me.
No, they don't.
Holy Sh*t.
I refuse to believe this is real.
Stop making fun of my thighs.

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe that she would have accepted delivery (ie- picked this cake up and left the store) I would still be standing there waiting for a new cake to appear.

I love this blog!!!

A happy cake lover

The Engelhardt 4 said...

I think we should all know the name of this bakery so that NONE OF US WILL EVER USE THEM! I still think the plaid cake came out about as bad as this one did. Bakers should just be honest if they don't think they can replicate a cake!! YIKES!!!

Anna said...

was the cake maker a meth addict?

jenjifer said...

Can anyone explain what the mini marshmallows were going to be used for?? I can imagine that they would have somehow made the cake look even better, right?

yanicka said...

oh.my.god

Don't know what to say. Poor poor dear. I hope the replacement cake was ok.

Dottie Parker said...

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. That was just horrifying. If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room with a cool cloth on my head, pondering the meaning of the bag of mini marshamllows in the background.

Katie said...

Did the picture the decorator was working off get wet? Maybe chewed on by the family pet some? A piranha perhaps?

Yikes. I think her cake got dropped. And kicked. Maybe that piranha thought it would be as good to eat as that picture...

I'm glad you told me what the random lines were, I thought the cake was melting. I admire the effort, but no amount of fixing would save that, glad she found something else.

Yikes.

Did they get to keep the pan? Were they charged extra? ;) I know! It was protection from the piranha that seemed so determined to eat this thing.

Rachelle said...

Oh. My. God.

When I get married, I'm going to toss down a platter of Oreo cookies and call it a day. Screw all this "pretty cake" business.

Amanda said...

Oh my.

1) I'm so glad that bride came up with a replacement cake.

2) I'm also so glad I made my own wedding cake. Wow. Talk about unnecessary stress!

Amy said...

That is one seriously horrible cake. I can't imagine the stress that bride went through.

monster said...

See the bag of mini-marshmallows? I think that's what they shoved UNDER the bottom layers of fondant...they decided they didn't put enough IN the mini-marshmallow fondant so they added more!! Anyway, looks too gross to even eat. Bleeeeeechhh!!!

sherri said...

Oh, this one and the first wedding cake make my heart cry. The only wedding cake I've ever made is my own because I would never want the responsiblity of making a bride happy or, in these cases, so so sad.

shannon said...

OH. MY.

Matt said...

This cake is inspiring, really.

It's the kind of thing that makes you want to learn how to decorate cakes, if only to reduce the likelihood of creating something so perverse.

Kat said...

Oh, Vicky, why did you do it?
(And why didn't you do it more convincingly?)

Ummm... what's with the mini marshmallows? Is that what's causing the fondant icing to be so lumpy?

Geez.

Anonymous said...

I would like to know what the bag of mini marshmallows right behind the cake will be used for. The bag is close enough to the cake that it appears there is some plan to use them ON the cake...

annie said...

I'm wondering if Vicky can tell us more about the mini marshmallows... I'm intrigued.

Melissa said...

I can't believe this to be professional by any stretch of the imagination... just because someone charges you for a cake doesn't mean it's professional... yikes!!!

Laura said...

Reminds me of the plaid cake. At least they used fondant this time, instead of buttercream for the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

yeah, that so isn't real. Nice try though!

shoesonwrong said...

Wow, it's a tough choice. I can't decide which missed mark I like better, this one here or that plaid one you covered awhile ago. (http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/07/inspiration-vs-perspiration.html)

Either one would give me a full-on heart attack if I were the bride.

Cat's Creations said...

I really don't believe that's a professional cake. I teach CHILDREN to decorate cakes. Last year 12 kids between 10 & 14 years old made MUCH nicer stacked wedding cakes cakes than that. I think you've been had but it is funny anyway.

lelah said...

I remember seeing this before, and seeing that it wasn't a fake. I got married around the same time I saw this, and it definitely gave me nightmares!!

Jan said...

I think that it's more than likely a kitchen cake. Maybe you should make them produce a receipt or something. We have a lady nearby who is a semi-pro and does weddings, but does them out of her own kitchen, I think she doesn't use ziplock bags though, LOL.

Brett said...

What is wrong with the cake at the top?

Granted, it looks like a stack of Tiffany boxes, but it looks nice and professional. Or is that the replacement cake that was procured at the 11th hour?

Amber Grannis said...

Holy smokes! And I thought my sister's wedding cake was bad. And what's up with the marshmallows?

Florellis said...

wow... this is when you check references and pics of past cakes!
I've just recently discovered your blog and I love it!! keep up the good work... hope I never see one of my cakes here! lol

CaliGirl9 said...

I had to read this description several times ... I kept saying "no way," we're being punked.
1. Clearly the first Tiffany's Blue cake is three squares descending in size. When did two squares of descending size and a round become the same thing? New geometry?
2. That's fondant on the bottom layers? Maybe pre-applied cellulite fondant.
3. Why are there mini-marshmallows on the counter behind the cake?
4. Is 4-H green even the right green?
5. Nice cake plate.
6. I think we need a new definition of professional ... I do wonder what was shown to the bride as examples of this baker's work?
I feel terrible for the bride. Not a nice way to start a marriage with a cake wreck like this one...

Lily said...

just hideously hilarious

Scott said...

Oh that's truly awful. Where that bride my wife, the perp would be lying face down in a gutter somewhere, with the decorator shoved... Well, you know.

Anonymous said...

I call shens. Unfortunately, I think a lot (well, not a lot, maybe 5% or so) of the cakes posted in this blog have been--ah--tampered with. (I still keep coming back, though!)

hopemcg said...

What do you s'pose the mini mashmallows were for?

Digits said...

I'm not a suing type of girl but something like that...
I mean, its not even a complicated cake!

Cindy said...

This has got to be the ugliest cake I've ever seen!

George Ramilton said...

It helps to think of the story behind the cakewreck as a sitcom:
Baker gets a bad case of chicken pox, baker's dimwitted but well meaning husband has to finish cake orders while baker is in hospital, hijinx ensue.

whywouldyouknitthat said...

Redneck Cake Decorators! That could be the only explanation! Do these people operate out of a Uhaul or something?

Lindsey said...

This was, quite frankly, one of the more horrifying things I've ever seen.

Lisa said...

OH NO!! Terrible, just terrible.

Lo said...

This is 100% not real...where are the GOOD and REAL wrecks?? LAME.

Smoochiefrog said...

OMG!!!! Are you freaking kidding me???? My 16 yr old can do a better job than that!

That poor, poor bride.

Anonymous said...

I have....no words.
~Amy

CRUSTYBEEF said...

I would probably jack up the cake like the green giant professional did with the little minis, however, I'm no pro---but it does look kitchen made (in looking at the surrounding evidence)

Stick with Red Velvet cupcakes instead that's what I always say.

crustybeef

peachfish said...

I strongly suspect shananigans...even an inexperienced baker could do better. Maybe it was a friend that they asked to do it?
I suspect the mini marshmellows are there for "leveling" purposes. I have heard of some folks using marshmellows under the corners of cake to raise the corner up so it matches the height of the middle of the cake (rather than leveling the cake with a knife like a sane person).

Summer Rippe said...

For everyone wondering about the marshmallows in the back ground: I think that they were used to make MMF (marshmallow fondant). This is pathetic enough in its self-what self respecting decorator would use that for a wedding cake? For cakes you make for yourself, OK, but you are not going to get a cake like what the Bride requested with that stuff!

Doody Mac said...

Holy s**t.

I have never decorated a cake before, short of smearing some icing over a sheet cake and adding candles, and I am fully convinced I could've done a better job than this, just from watching cake decorating contests on Food Network.

Out of curiosity, I want to see the replacement! :)

Carol said...

Whether this is legit or not it gave me a good laugh this morning! (I absolutely LOVE the plaid cake story, btw...I keep going back to it and cringing...lol)
I always want to decorate cakes after I read your blog...keep it coming!!

Anonymous said...

FAKE.

A Blogging Babcock said...

Okay...I guess I'm a little skeptical. What kind of store did she order it from? Really....

Tara said...

I call foul. I think someone made an intention wreck to get on your page. The Marshmallows, are no doubt there because MMF (marshmallow fondant) is popular among home-based cake decorators. Also, the picture was obviously taken by the person who made the cake right where it was made, and not by anyone else (any bride would refuse delivery of a cake like that--and since when do brides pick up cakes and take them to their own kitchen? They're usually delivered right to the venue). WE are the ones who have been punk'd.

ophelia said...

This really looks like a child's effort. Even the worst cake decorators, and I've seen some bad, bad cakes, will put their cakes on something other than tinfoil (even tinfoil on a metal signboard).

If the bride truly received this cake as her wedding cake, I honestly can't imagine what she saw as a sample. Who orders a cake without seeing a sample of what the decorator can do? If this was the best the decorator could do, why on earth did the bride go with this decorator? My friend is a cake decorator (she does fine work), and some of the brides she's got to deal with will haggle their little hearts out, trying to get a beautiful cake for next to nothing; but none of them would pay a cent for something this awful.

You may, unfortunately, have been punk'd ^^;;

Cat Skyfire said...

The mini-marshmallows are for the cocoa. Faced with a cake like that, there are two choices. Drink heavily (which will only make the cake worse) or consume lots of chocolate. Cocoa is a nice, liquid chocolate. But, of course, you need the marshmallows to go with it...

Anonymous said...

I bet the mini marshmallows were to make the ring of dots around each layer.

I still like the plaid cake the best (or worst, however you see it), although this is a worthy 2nd place.

Feisty_Granny said...

My take...
That is kitchen foil badly wrapped around a cereal box as the 'cake plate'.
The tips are ones you can buy at the grocery store for about $3.
The 'pastry bag' is a Ziploc baggie.
The mini marshmallows are there, because s/he was attempting to make marshmallow fondant.
The darker green looks like canned frosting; the lighter was the same with added powdered sugar.
Leave the pan on?! Do you know how much those things cost??
---
No cake decorator made that - not even someone trying to make a nice cake made that... Someone trying to get a picture posted on your site made that.

lilypie said...

it looks like the fondant from the top layer was peeled off in the attempt to fix it. the green of the bottom border is smeared on top of the second tier.

maybe they were making marshmallow fondant to fix it?

but yes. i agree that thing is horrific. my eyes are trying to vomit. :P

maisnon said...

I think the mini marshmallows were going to be used to get that beaded effect around the lower edge of each box (see the top photo for the desired effect.)

Anonymous said...

Um, Brett, if you can't figure out what is wrong with the first cake you may be qualified to be a cake wreckerator. Nothing is wrong with it. It is the good cake. Followed by bad cake. Good/bad cakes. The point of the post.

CakeEater said...

I'm in the list on non-believers on this one. Why would the bride even pick it up? The marshmallow bag leads me to believe its MMF on the cake - again, a home-made cake. The green icing at hand...the dark green accents on the top tier (supposedly from the baker) is ON the light green (supposedly from the "fixing.")
If the bride picked up the cake looking like that, she deserved to have that wrecktastic design.

Aaron said...

@ Brett (September 8, 2008 10:20 AM)
The cake picture at the top is the reference pic the bride gave the baker to show her what she wanted. Except instead of a teal cake she wanted it to be white with green accents. Then the baker delivered their version down below.

Anonymous said...

Wow. This one makes me very sad, as opposed to the plaid one which made me laugh. This one crossed the line. Maybe the sad part is that the bride thought it was salvagable. I agree with you Jen, the ribbon outlines are the most befuddling part. But it is all very confusing. I want to know who hires bakers for a wedding without seeing some examples of their work. I don't get how anyone could present "work" in this state.

Alex

Erica said...

Brett, darling, you need to read the text accompanying the pictures. The top picture is not a wreck, but it is what the bottom picture is supposed to look like. Oh wait... if you didn't read the text with the images, then there is no way you will read my comment! LOL. Here's hoping you figure it out...

Anonymous said...

Had this happened at my wedding, I would have gone completely Bridezilla on the bakery. Fortunately we were smart enough to use a reputable bakery, rather than letting a epileptic, colorblind squirrel try to make our cake...

Stephanie said...

Are you seriously kidding me right now?! Oh dear...it's beyond bad.

Anonymous said...

I'm also calling shenanigans. I don't believe anyone would pay good money for this cake under any circumstances. Has Vicky ever responded?

Jen said...

Of course it's very possible that I have indeed been punk'd, but here are a few of the e-mailed details to answer some of your questions:

1) The bride's parents picked the cake up the night before the wedding. That's why it wasn't rejected at pick-up and the photo is in someone's kitchen.

2) The baker was a member of the groom's family, but was supposedly a pro with "tons of experience". No portfolio, though. (There's your warning sign!)

3) The replacement cake was a simple grocery store sheet cake.

@the courteous chihuaha: LOL - my apologies. I didn't see any five o'clock shadow in your profile pic. :)

Laura said...

I know what the marshmallows are for! They're for lighting on fire and throwing at the baker!!!

Lori said...

I'm not buyin' it. That counter and backsplash are clearly residential. And there is the icing right next to it. You've definitely been punked...or Vicky was...

Calc said...

Blogger whywouldyouknitthat said...

... Do these people operate out of a Uhaul or something?


Yes. As they drive down the road, apparently.

kenju said...

I once had to decorate (with flowers) a wedding cake, which, when it started to fall apart during delivery, the man who delivered it laid it on a up-turned sheet pan, which was about 10" too wide for the square cake. She put it on the cake table that way, and I had to find a way to disguise the aluminum pan that stuck out on all sides. It was horrible!

readingwritingliving said...

no, that can't be real. I think you've been punk'd.

Anonymous said...

Since nobody else has mentioned it yet, don't the lower layers with their stripes kind of resemble tidy whitey underwear? Ewww.

An Apron Straitjacket said...

The baker was a member of the groom's family? Oh snap that should make family get togethers a heap load of fun.

"Oh look, here comes Aunt Ruth, the one who RUINED my wedding."

Julie said...

Even if it is a fake, it's still a horrible cake. Definitely made me laugh.

metabonbon said...

Certainly it would be extra super funny if it could be verified as a true wedding disaster, but even if it turns out to be just a home-baked cake with less lofty aspirations ... it's still pretty darn funny. Something about sagging fondant and melty icing makes me giggle every time.

Love the site; keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I think what really makes this Still Life with Cake complete are the ghetto-licious accessories:

~The bag o' marshmallows, which were used... for what, exactly? Filling?

~The rack full of god-knows-what-all in the background.

~The ziplock-baggie-as-pastry-bag (oh no they di’int!) with four UNUSED frosting tips. Which begs the question of how the “ribbons” were done...

~The leftover puke green frosting on the plate that the baker’s rugrats presumedly dragged their fingers through.

~And the coup de grace: that narsty blue towel RIGHT NEXT TO THE CAKE.

All in all, a nice addition to the “baker’s” “portifolio”. Yeetzah!

Nancy ~

Tanya said...

Words wouldn't even begin to describe the rage I would feel if this were my wedding cake. It's almost unbelievable how the "baker" allowed this to be sent out. Hopefully this is a lesson learned: NEVER order a wedding cake without seeing a portfolio and if the portfolio isn't believable (such as the pictures look like they were lifted from the internet or a magazine), do your research. Don't let bad cakes happen to good people.

Anonymous said...

If MY parents picked that up for me and didn't reject it (even if the baker was a future member of the family), I'd kill them.

Jessie

Maire said...

I can barely stop laughing to comment! There are tons of real "kitchen professionals" out there but this is not from one of them!!! when i saw the comment that the bottom layers were fondant i just lost it. (btw, the marshmallows are probably a fondant ingredient). This absolutely "takes the cake" for worst wedding cake ever!!!

Crochet by Momma J said...

Wow - I think my 7-year-old could do better than that!

Anonymous said...

i'm shocked and amazed that the bride's parents thought this was an acceptable cake when they picked it up... i call fake!

Cheza said...

That is why you get a plain cake and awesome fillings.

Sherry said...

I'm with Tara -- how would someone end up with a picture taken at the place of creation?

I think cake wrecks has hit the tragedy of the commons phase -- it's a bummer, but also a compliment to how original the idea of it is, and how well you've executed it.

Dana said...

wow. fake or not, it's ridiculously horrible. the decorator was either sobbing and trembling with terror as they were working on it, or laughing hysterically as they acted out their plan for revenge toward the bride.
i'm a kitchen baker. i use MMF. i live in a redneck town and still my 5 year old would have done better.

Sunshine said...

That is the ugliest mess I've ever seen, and thanks to you I've seen some pretty ugly cakes lol

Fluffy Cow said...

Real of Fake... it's still a freakin' redneck wedding cake from hell.

TheOtherJennifer said...

*snork* Caligirl9 - "Is 4H Green even the right green?"

IMHO, no green is the right green in this scenario.

Bride's parents picked it up the night before? Stale much?

Twistie said...

The more I look at this, the more I'm glad Mr. Twistie and I chose to have homemade individual fruit tarts over a pro-made cake.

Karie said...

I can't believe this is a professional cake. The decorating supplies and green icing slop is all over the counter. Someone just wanted to be on your site I think!

Katrina said...

Oh My Goodness!

letters to elijah said...

too funny! your site is a hoot!!

orianna2000 said...

My own wedding cake arrived in the wrong shape and the wrong colors, but despite that, it looked beautiful and tasted amazing, so we didn't make an issue of it.

But, this reminds me about a bride who had her mother-in-law offer to sew all the bridesmaids' dresses. They were supposed to be replicas of the dinner gown from "Titanic", an elegant dress embroidered with intricate beadwork. A few hours before the wedding, only one of the dresses had arrived and it was a monstrosity of cheap satin with huge loops of silver sequins randomly sewn on. They had to scramble to find replacement gowns. (Here's the full story: http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_wedding/humor/etitanic.shtml)

triLcat said...

Suddenly, I'm not so sorry that we had no wedding cake at all. And I'm feeling a little less bad for how pathetic my attempts at birthday cake were for my 1-year-old.

(besides, her cake was DELISH)

Trevor said...

I think you're being Punk'd as well. There's green icing in a ziplock bag. Most likely someone used that as their piping bag without a tip to put icing on the cake. There are marshmellows there, which probably means someone was making MMF. I really don't buy this one. Well, other than the fact that it's ugly.

I fear this will be an on-going problem you'll have, finding the real wrecks from the fakes. At least the homage cakes will tell you!

And to the poster who said most home bakers prefer MMF. They're wrong. A lot of people use it, yes, but not that many. It's much easier to pre-buy something decent tasting

AzĂșcar said...

I can't even handle that.

OH MY STARS!

Robyn said...

Oh my gosh! I just found your blog and I am laughing so SO hard right now! Thanks for making such a great blog!

Elizabeth said...

My guess is that it melted, which is why the fondant looks like cellulite and the icing is droopy looking.

Anonymous said...

The second one was not a purchased professional cake. The supplies are there on the kitchen sink. Probably someone practicing fondant for the first time. As the other commenters state- no one would even accept it from a bakery. Now- she may have had a friend make it, but I really don't believe it's from a bakery.

Anonymous said...

Was it worth posting? For sure not a real wreck.

Definately Punk'd if you believe otherwise.

clueuin said...

Do you even have room for one more comment? Here it goes!

Oh no you didnt don't quite cover it hon.

The next sound the baker should hear is, "Dead man walking!"

Clueuin

*daisy said...

i call shenanigans, but i still love you cake wrecks!

I really dig the sitcom situation put forth by George R. Let's go with that!

Plus, the fact that you called that you might be being punk'd totally saved face- I did check the comments to see if Vicki the bride was going to show up.. ha ha ha!

cake wrecks forever!!

phillygirl64 said...

Oh the humanity!

heather said...

I have ZERO artistic skills and am often embarrassed to bring cake or cupcakes anywhere. After this, I feel much better about anything I've ever made.
(I mean, just for fun as a treat. Never as the centerpiece of a celebration. No. Even my worst decorating job never looked quite this bad!)

denise said...

Yes, I believe you were Punked - anything for that 15 seconds of fame *LOL* IMO, too much evidence there shows a home-made cake (intentional wreck attempt). I'd guess the mini-mallows were for the (marshmallow?) fondant. A shame it was made to look so lumpy cuz marshmallow fondant is actually Very easy to make, Awesome to work with and tastes Great...

You have a Fabulous site - Thanks So Much for the Laughter ;-)

Sarah said...

I would have force fed the "baker" every single last crumb of that cake. I am by NO means a good baker, but I have made cakes that look better than that. And I'm sure being a wedding cake, the "baker" probably charged a pretty penny for it.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Even the most incompetent baker would know to take the cake out of the pan!!! My suspicion is that this was done by a woman with no training, working our of her home, passing herself off as a pro.

I hope the bride sued the balls off her.

I am SO glad I'm making my own wedding cake.

Kia said...

Holy.....what the %$#@ is THAT? Did a two-year old make that cake????

~Kia

Brooke said...

Oh. My. Dear. Lord.

That's possibly the most hideous wedding cake I have ever seen.

Also question - what are the marshmallows for?

Brandy said...

Sheesh, I can do a better job with one pan, a Betty Crocker cookbook from the 60's, a wooden spoon, and a roll of waxed paper!

Probably helps that 1) I'll at least try, and 2) I'm not colorblind!

Wow. Yeah, I would have done serious bodily harm to that "cake designer" as well.

Anna, I agree. Drugs MUST have been involved!

ladulcinea said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHA
HAHA
HA

Oh god that is truly truly awful.

I heart this blog.

Josh said...

I think this cake is actually not a "real" wreck. It looks to me as if the picture was taken by the person making the cake in their own kitchen. This may be the cake the bride got for her wedding...but I doubt it was done by a "professional" baker. It quite possibly came from Aunt Margaret who said "don't order a cake from a bakery. I've been taking a cake decorating class..." The marshmallows were quite possibly used to make the fondant (8 cups marshmallows and 1/2 cup of water melted in a microwave and mixed with powdered sugar...very effective recipe). I would say Aunt Margaret bought the pre-made icing in a tube with the interchangeable tips (which would explain the bright green color). Although it does not take away from the shock of how terrible the cake is, especially when compared to how it was supposed to look. I'm just so glad none of my cakes have ended up on here!!

Brandy said...

Sigh.... For the price of a "professionally decorated cake", my hubby and I had a GORGEOUS wedding at Paris Las Vegas. And they included a cake from their kitchen at our reception. You know, from the bakers who are on Food Network Challenge?

(Father in Law lives in Vegas, so we go there a lot, it wasn't like a sudden decision. I carefully chose the site that suited us, and our wedding was wonderful!)

And we'll always have Paris..sigh!

Ypsi said...

It looks like 2 pairs of tighty-whity underwear with green trim, stuffed and stacked on top of each other.

What? The? FFFFFFFFFF?

Eden said...

I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt b/c I've seen some cases where "family" has decided to do something for an event and it's crap. But I see the marshmallows AND a tube of green frosting in a Ziploc bag so I'm pretty sure this photo was taken in the maker's kitchen.

If so, how would the "bride" have gotten the photo? "This horrible cake you made that I'm trying to replace... can I get a copy of the picture you took of it?"

Why wouldn't the bride have provided her own photo of this disaster? When my husband picked up my daughter's 2nd birthday cake w/o checking it and I opened it up to find it blank (no "happy birthday" message but the Lilo & Stitch beach scene was airbrushed on), I still took a picture of it myself.

Jennifer said...

I've never commented before. I personally still think the plaid wedding cake was worse, but I look at this one and think.... I'm actually speechless.

Seriously?!?

Bianca said...

I was never scared about my wedding cake, until I saw this. Luckily, I based my cake on a variation of one my baker already made himself... but still!

Karen said...

Wow. I think that the baker had been out partying at the groom's bachelor party the night before, and slept until just a few hours before the bride's parents were to pick up the cake. At that point, he realized he really shouldn't have promised this cake, but still threw a few cake mixes together, put them in the oven, and ran to the store to buy the frosting and a platter. The store was out of platters, but there was a decent looking sign outside in the garbage, so he took that instead.

When he got home, he didn't have time to let the cakes cool before frosting them, thus the melting frosting. He didn't even have time to do all of the frosting himself, so he gave the round layer to his kid, which explains why the top layer is still in the pan and why it looks like something I would have done when I was 7.

In the last 10 minutes before the cake was picked up, the baker added the green edging, and let his child add the ribbons. By the time the brides parents arrived, he had his proud creation, indistinguishable from the tiffany's version. Right?

Anonymous said...

I have to speak in defense of marshmallow fondant. I used to be a pastry chef and I have made traditional fondant and nobody likes the stuff. MMF is easy to use and quite tasty. I did my wedding cakes in MMF in June and my guests enjoyed them very much.

Sair said...

I love your blog. Had to show colleague at work this blog - she's a very competent cake baker and icer and she was astounded at your past few posts.

Keep up the good work!

Love,
Sair x

Morgan said...

This wasn't even funny, this was just sad. I feel sad, now.

Shannon said...

Oh my word. That is just so sad. So hilariously sad.

Heather said...

Yes, the second cake is horrible - 'real' wreck or not.

My problem with the story is the first cake - why would you source a cake of Tiffany boxes, in Tiffany blue, with Tiffany accessories beside it and then ask for it in green instead? If it's in green it's just going to look like a stack of squares with a ribbon on top. What makes Tiffany, Tiffany is the blue ...

Leslie said...

I'm joining the group of people that think you were punk'd. The bag full of icing on the table with the cheapo decorator tips? That's what I used to use to draw on my kids' cakes until I got a real piping bag. Unless they were trying to fix it (which I doubt)...and the road sign is just a bit too much.

Anonymous said...

You HAVE been punked. The "fixed" layer on top is iced in both the light green, and the dark green that the supposed decorator used. Unless they got that very icing from the decorator......not likely!
The main ingredient for the fondant used on the cake is right there beside it...the marshmallows for MMF.
Everything points to a really big PUNK'D submission.

aloria said...

I would bet my money the mini marshmallows were to make the fondant. You can make a ghetto kind of fondant using marshmallows-- recipes are all over the web.

Joy said...

I love the professional kitchen, my Nana has those cabinets in her 1970's kitchen!

downunder sugarglider said...

the site has become a victim of its own popularity

i beati said...

I'm having a serious accident sandy

The Seeker said...

I love your blog. Some of your earliest posts are the best!

Victoria said...

That is so, so horrifying... I can't believe it. If that was my cake... ugh, I don't even want to think about it.

Mary said...

In response to the very first comment about marshmallow based fondant being "ghetto", I don't know where aloria is getting that. I've made half a dozen batches of fondant from marshmallows and it's smooth, tasty, and pleasing to work with.

As for this actual post, I'd advise the bride to sue for treble damages and take the baker on the People's Court. Judge Milian always rules in favor of the ruined wedding day.

Kat said...

THIS is why I eloped.

Amy Ellen said...

Oh my gosh that is one of the worst thing I have ever seen. I swear my jaw hit my computer keyboard. That is so awful. OMG that is so very bad. Someone really could not judge their own abilities obviously..... WOW thats bad.

Mona said...

These are hilarious!
But any idea why, when I typed in the URL of your blog in Facebook and tried to send it in a message my friends, I couldn't do so? A box came up saying "some of the content in this message has been reported as abusive by Facebook users". What?!

Julia said...

I'm sorry Jen, I heart your blog a whole bunch, but I think you really missed the mark on this post. This is so obviously amateur work. Vicky should definitely remember to move the marshmallows and grocery-store icing tips before taking the photo next time.

On the other hand, I think those "Tiffany Box" wedding cakes are beyond tacky, so the first photo totally counts in my book as a wreck! ;)

MostEmailedNews.com said...

it still looks tasty to me.

- T

www.MostEmailedNews.com

gothicbeauty21 said...

It would be great for people to read all the comments and see the explanations before they spouted off the "truth" :P


The poor bride. I've had a lot of cakes made by an at-home-pro, one of those little old ladies that's like your 6th cousin 5 times removed, that's baked her whole life. She does great work. Apparently this Aunt tried to pass herself off like one of those bakers...and failed.

Anonymous said...

this is definately fake, the fixings are all there, and the kitchen is unsanitary looking. Not a professional job

Anonymous said...

The funniest thing about this post is that most people don't bother to read the comments before posting their own.

Marshmallows for MMF, cheapo frosting tips, ziploc bag...ALL COVERED, THANKS!

Anonymous said...

fake or not, i refuse to believe anyone paid for this. if it was indeed a wedding, who cares if the decorator was professional or not? it's sad! however i will continue to visit cakewrecks and hope to find funny wrecks again in the future :-)

@ anonymous, September 8, 2008 1:53 PM: your post made me really angry. there's no need to get racist or classist about it. just not funny.

Sarah-Jane said...

This is a fake- FOR SURE!
There is no way on earth that anyone would accept this cake- Parents of the Bride or Not!
in my experience- the parents are more picky than the clients themselves.
Any baker- or decorator with half an ounce of self respect would never present this cake to a client!
A definite punking by my standards!
Love the site though! It makes me roll around laughing with your fabulous commentary!

Marcy said...

i think you've been punk'd because anyone prissy enough to want the tiffany's box knock off cake would also be uptight enough to freak out if it wasn't just so at every stage along the way. the pathology of the bride (as concluded through the cake type) and willingness to give up control (as evidenced in the cake wreck) just don't add up.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you've been punk'd or not, but what I wouldn't give for people to even skim the comments before they post! I got curious and started looking to see if anything definitive had shown up one way or another and after the fifth repetition of any given set of "proof" about it being a fake, you start to want to argue the other way just for variety.

-Lee

bionelly said...

Heather said...

"My problem with the story is the first cake - why would you source a cake of Tiffany boxes, in Tiffany blue, with Tiffany accessories beside it and then ask for it in green instead? If it's in green it's just going to look like a stack of squares with a ribbon on top. What makes Tiffany, Tiffany is the blue ..."

I would think that they probably weren't aware of the significance of the blue, and just thought the stacked gift boxes looked neat, but wanted it in their wedding colors. I know that before I read your comment, I wouldn't have thought twice about ordering a cake that looks like that, but in different colors. One person's Tiffany box is another person's plain old box.

Bill said...

I'm calling BS on this. There's bad and there is intentional. This was intentional. The other wedding cake, the one with the plaid design...also fake.

Anonymous said...

Oh god. That is...I mean what the hell...just...GAH!! This horrific disaster of a cake has broken my brain! What psychosomatic drug was the decorator ODing on when they looked at this thing and thought: "Yep. That looks totally like an edible cake and not something the bride would maul me over." Poor Vicky, at least she was able to get a replacement before she had to display that thing at the reception. Yeesh!

Astrid said...

ROTFLMAO !!!!!!! :D

unpenseur said...

See, I half believe you were punk'd.

But then logic sets in. What intelligent person would leave the evidence in the picture? If I were trying to fake a cake, I'd make it look like I had just got it. Scoot the marshmallows, the icing bag and tips, etc away and just have it sitting there on the counter. Much more believable, neh?

Or maybe the person who submitted it isn't very bright. Who knows?

Mad Izatie said...

it looks god awful. and why is the top one green and the bottom ones white? was the decorator blind? did they decorate the thing in the dark? shit almighty it looks atrocious. and atrocios isn't even a strong enough word.

Anonymous said...

i also think you've been punked ... but what's the point of punking cake wrecks? cake wrecks is a totally innocent, lovely blog. seems like a waste of cake and makes no sense to me.

www.simply-the-best.ru said...

very unusual design :)))

Parenting Boys said...

I don't even know what to say! I cannot imagine anyone charging money for this?!

Thank you so much for sharing though. :D

Anonymous said...

This is obviously home-made. Check out the cake decorating flora and fauna on the messy counter. Why would the "professional" supply the photo with the cake? That's the only way the customer would get it.

Sheri in Rehoboth said...

That is just...tragic. But count me among those having a hard time believing that was made by a professional (unless it was specifically to get on this blog).

Bianca said...

For the people who are mentioning the plaid cake as equally fake... I am not so sure about that. The picture looks as if it is at a wedding, and the bride was very active in replying to that one.

This one? Well, we've all gone through it, and Vicki still hasn't escaped her cake depression to comment!

Jackie said...

ahahahahah
I don't even know what to say! xD
that's awesome

Paige said...

OMG I FIGURED IT OUT!! Here's what happened: the "cake" was delivered with only TWO layers (in the NyQuil green) and some kind, misguided soul tried to "fix" it by making a third layer for it, but they didn't have a) a square pan, b) the same green icing, and c)a recipe for fondant. Voila! So this is probably a picture of someone's attempt to fix the "professional" cake. So it's twice as bad. *sheds tear*

Michelle said...

I'm actually starting to enjoy the Fondant Ghetto discussion. I think we need a whole blog devoted to ghetto fondant.

Laura said...

WOW!

I read this post twice, yesterday the remarks about "seeing the original cake" didn't make sense. I just realized now that the cake above is what the cake on the bottom was supposed to look like...

joyce said...

http://whywouldyouknitthat.blogspot.com/ they should have ordered this knitted one

i_am_not_kidding said...

Somehow, I feel slightly frightened looking at this cake - on so many levels. I just cannot believe, no offense to the bride, that there was just no "inkling" this "wedding cake lady" (to be kind) was less than professional? No clues at all? Was there a book of previous work to view, people to call for references, an actual address to visit - with doors and windows? I clearly am asking more questions and providing answers - not a good way to start my Tuesday (wink). M in Oklahoma

jencoe said...

OMG! I think the bride would get off on probation if she attacked the baker! I thought I was upset when my wedding cake had icing flowers that were too dark to match my colors...but this...this could ruin a marrige.

Micksmom2 said...

sweet smokin' judas, somebody needs to get this decorator into rehab immediately! Never drink before you decorate.

jengersnap said...

Actually, it looks like someone started to try to fix it. Look at the enlarged picture (click on it). The spatula has the neon green ribbon scraped off from around the bottom of the top layer, and the top of the second layer shows evidence of the scraping. The lighter green in the baggie appears to be what the bride's family tried to refrost it with, probably so it would go with the wedding colors better. Sure, they failed, but at least they tried to save some of the train wreck from derailing before they gave up and got a store bought.

~Jenger

Jenny said...

@paige -- that's what I assumed, that this was a photo of someone's good-hearted, last-minute attempt to fix the professional cake. Hence the local-kitchen look, and hence having the picture in the kitchen at all (both of which have been cited as proof that it's a fake.) Adding disaster to what was already disaster doesn't make it a fake.

Vicky (the bride) said...

This is Vicky (aka the bride). Yes this cake is real, the baker (who manages a catering company) told me I could melt marshmallows and....crisco to try to fill in some of the 'gaps'. My mother in law and a friend tried to salvage the cake before we decided it couldn't be done, which is why you see the bag of marshmallows and the tips, my mother in law tried to fix it before I saw it since she had picked it up. But yes it is real, I have witnesses and tears were shed over this.

Kristin said...

I actually buy this (and by buy, I mean believe, because I would never buy this cake!). My former sister in law, needed to go "cheap" for her wedding, and decided to spend a fortune on invites and skimp on the cake. She asked a friend who wanted to go profession to make a three tiered blue and white cake. What she got looks similar to this mess. But at least it tasted good.

Anonymous said...

This cake has quite clearly been Photoshopped. I can tell from the pixels. Also, I've seen quite a few shoops in my time.

Dea said...

OMG, Vicky! You poor dear! Though, LMAO, you will at least have a funny story all your life, right???

What did the replacement cake look like??? That's what I'm dying to know!!!

Faith said...

Jen, you should post Vicky's response in the body of the post. I can't believe all the people that didn't consider that someone had brought this home with them, attempted to fix it, and took a picture of it for possible proof in a law suit (which is what I'd be doing if someone expected payment for such a monstrosity) after they realized just how far gone it was.

Vicky, I'm glad you were able to find a replacement cake! Its unbelievable that someone in a professional catering position actually thought that would be ok to present for you at your wedding!

Christina said...

okay, this is my take on the subject. i think her parents picked up this cake and realized it was crap. being the kind, yet overwhelmed parents they were, they tried to FIX the cake the best way they could. that could account for the counter full of ingredients and the frosting not matching. the bride wakes up before dear old mom and dad can fixing the disaster that is this cake and she *although very mad* has enough good sense to take a picture of the mess for a future laugh (or lawsuit). of course we all could have been punked, but that is a lot of effort to make something that ugly..i can't bake myself, but i am sure i could do loads better than that.

when i saw this picture, it too reminded me of the Titanic dresses from hades. some people are just too embarrassed to admit they have failed or are in over their heads and pretend the subject does not exist until it is too late.

Patricia said...

Dear God...how depressed can a baker be...looks like someone was having a really bad day! I nearly choked when I saw the picture of the 'real' cake after the 'hopeful' cake! Thanks for a good hoot on a rainy day in Maine!
Patricia

Chris said...

I think there's a lesson here: Beware of drunk bakers...

Mini-Marshmallows: I use a homemade fondant recipe that uses marshmallows and powdered sugar (it's smooth, works well quickly, and--as for fondant goes--it tastes pretty good). I'm wondering if they were attempting that... and f'ing that up, too.

Anonymous said...

WOW What a horrid cake. I thought our wedding cake was horrible when the decorator used the wrong type of dye to get black icing that she piped all over the place. And our entire wedding party pictures show everyone with solid black teeth. Nice...............

Louise said...

I think it's real. I used to work at a bakery, and we'd package up tiers and instructions for building the cake to send with people who were outside our mileage range of delivering. If the people who picked it up didn't bother looking at the quality in the store. . . or didn't drive carefully. . . they definitely could end up with this!

That's why we always showed ours to people IN STORE, so if it got home and was wrecked, hey, not our fault!!!

I too, would attempt to fix it and take a photo of it it. Hence, like Vicky said, the kitchen stuff.

Also, just because someone is a "professional" does NOT mean they do good work. However, it also does not mean they can't find a customer base--after all, there is NO accounting for taste. I learned that after a "professional" in-law did some work for my wedding. . . I thought it was HORRID and the in-laws thoguht it was lovely. YIKES.

The Black Dog said...

I came here via Consumerist.com, and I am already addicted to the site. Bravo for creating this, I'm adding it to my blogs worth reading section on my blog.

Oh, and many apologies to Vicky for this cake, I hope you got the bakers to refund your money.

Dea said...

Since I'd never heard the Titanic Dresses story, here's a link to that story - it's pretty darned funny, and just a bit scary! LOL!

http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_wedding/humor/etitanic.shtml

Anonymous said...

Hate to be a dissenting voice here, but I think that using the metal sign (which appears to be under an actual cake board) is actually really creative. At least they know that the cake is on something sturdy.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy the wrecks on this site as much as anyone else. But you know, I'm really dismayed by the comment posted by Anonymous on September 8, 2008 1:53 PM, and by the absence of any sort of comment, forget outrage, at the writer's explicit bias against a particular ethnic group. How come no other commenter seems to notice that sneering description of "parents from India"? And how come Jen herself allowed that comment to appear, when comments here are moderated? Is this silence assent? Is no one else offended? Why has no one said a word?

I feel nauseated. If I stay silent about this, I am as culpable as anyone else, and as bigoted.

- Not Racist, I Hope

James ~n~ Amber said...

So...I really thought the so-called "ribbons" down the side of the cake was just runny icing! This is seriously wrong and yet, so hilarious ! Thanks for always making me laugh !

Rachel said...

Poor Vicky, I hope you can get another cake in time! /hugs

I really feel awful for you, I know how stressful it is planning a wedding and things going wrong like this are the last thing you want!

Hope you two have a wonderful day and don't let the cake spoil it for you!

Keep us posted on how it all goes!

Bev Sykes said...

I made my daughter's wedding cake last week and don't you bet that I was thinking about this site all the while I was working on it! It wasn't great, but she loved it. And no, I will NOT post a photo of it, or it might be added to the collection here!

At least it looked better than this one.

John (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hey all!

This is John, the hubby of the great Jen. Allow me to apologize for the comment posted earlier by Anonymous which had a derogatory comment about Indian people. It has been removed.

I have begun to help Jen moderate some comments while she answers the thousand e-mails she gets daily. We try not to censor content when we can and, frankly, I usually just look for "bad" words. That said, we have had a few slip through and you should know that I truly appreciate your input when it comes to matters such as these.

If you would like to comment, please remember that there are hundreds of thousands of people who will read what you write. The whole point of Cake Wrecks is to laugh at goofy cakes, not to belittle one another based on ethnicity or anything else.

Thanks.

fug estate said...

Oh man....I'm glad Vicky's cake day was saved, because that cake belongs on People's Court as Exhibit A (like a previous commenter said) *smh*

adozeneggs said...

I'm a baker and all I can say is shocking, simply shocking. Who would ever let the customer even see this nightmare of a cake, let alone try to charge them and then tell them to melt CRISCO, crisco for god's sake, with marshmallows and fix it themselves? After paying? Just Shocking!!

Christie Lavigne said...

this is absolutely hysterical - I love your blog. And this post in particular, wow!! Poor bride, poor cake, poor readers! I'll never look at a perfectly presented Tiffany box again. :)

Brandy said...

Oh, Vicky, you're so brave!

If my mother brought this cake to my wedding, I think I would have ascribed it to her passive aggressive hatred of me!

I hope your replacement cake was better (although how could it not be..) Could you share pix? Your original choice was wonderful (not prissy!), and I hope there was a good reason for the cake wreck (illness of the cook, or their child, an earthquake, or other huge event..) and that the 'cook' could someday be forgiven!

--
(Jon, I agree, there is no reason for ANY site to have comments that belittle ANY race! Thank you for helping Jen with moderating, you both are doing a great job!)

christine said...

PLEASE POST VICKY'S EXPLANATION IN THE MAIN POST so people will quit saying idiotic things. Thanks!

Karyn said...

I cannot stop laughing.

Oh, the humanity!

Vicky, I'm sorry - what a bloody nightmare for you! (If it helps, the original, desired cake? Is lovely - and your taste is impeccable.)

Seriously, can you rupture something from laughing too hard?

vicki said...

What's that smell? Oh, just something the bull did.

This is. not. a professionally prepared cake, nor even the work of a talented amateur.

Please, I thought Cake Wrecks was about more than ugly cakes. Anyone can make one. It takes true talent to make a professional Cake Wreck.

Katie said...

I really hope poor Miss Vicky didn't actually have to pay for that wreck!!!! or the one she had to buy to replace it! sheesh!!!

Jennifer said...

Vicky,
I just want to warn you that the person who made this cake....she hates you. She hates your guts. Beware.

Ann Hedvig said...

Ohh my gosh! How can someone hand this over and not be emberassed....

Melissa said...

professional caterer does not equal professional cake decorator/baker. What is the definition of professional around here? Just because you pay someone to make a cake doesn't make them pro.. however, it doesn't take talent to get a license to run a business... UGH!

Sherry said...

I agree with vicky. And IMHO someone who submitted a hoax coming back and saying it's not a hoax doesn't count as verification that it's authentic.

Granted there are first times for everything, but this is the first time that a supposed professional has left a pan in a cake AND the first time a cake's been posted after it was supposedly repaired -- I'm assuming that extra information was provided only after people cried foul.

Just to many derivations from the cake wreck norm for me to buy it.

The bottom two layers look passable, if not great, absent the different colored frosting drips that just happen to coincide with the color of the second batch of frosting.

I bet this was a passable three square layers cake, something happened to the top layer, and someone tried to patch something together, gave up and dripped some of the second batch of frosting on the sides to try and make it harken back to the quite verifiable plaid disaster and tried to pass it off as a "professional wreck"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get a life.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I do love this blog. However as a cake decorator, I know that you do NOT pick up a tiered cake. A professional would assemble the cake at the reception hall. Sooo quite frankly, I think the "bride" is lying.

Rochelle

Anonymous said...

OK -- as a cake decorator, here's some insight into this "wreck."

1) The two bottom layers possibly could be from a "professional." Square pans are not all that common, and the sizes are comprable to the original design.

2) The (once) three tiered cake was iced in butter-cream, and then covered with fondant. Again, standard baking practice.

3) The cake was picked up by a family member, who placed them in a warm wehicle. (CLUE: THEY took delivery? Unusual, unless someone was saving money because there was a long ride ahead leading to the "cover-up"...read on)

4) In unreasonable temperatures (like over 80) the butter-cream under the fondant began to melt, leading to the cellulite-like appearance of the 2 bottom tiers.

5) The top tier: maybe smashed by a sudden car stop, or, maybe the green fondant bow melted as well, and oozed coloring over the top tier.

6) The cover-up begins: "someone" peeled off the top tier's fondant, exposing the butter-cream below.

7) "Someone" (we see your kitchen -- HA!) then called the baker in a panic, likely after the shop closed, asking how to repair/make fondant. Hence, the directions to melt marshmallows. Yes, this is a step in a home-made fondant that some like, though it is generally not used by larger bakeries.

8) The tell-tale error (as Poe's sub-floor heart gave it away too) -- this cake WAS reconstructed: the ribbon traces are not contiguous. See -- the lines show the cake was turned.

My Lord -- why do I even care?

* goes off to pipe butter-cream roses*

Anonymous said...

Can you believe this post has gotten more comments than the ire-provoking Meat Cakes??
this is at least comment #199. wow, lot's of folks are upset about this one.
I do think Vicky's story would carry more weight if we had a picture of the original, as picked up, cake. The post-repair attempt photo is very confusing and has caused most of the angst here. Clearly there was a cake that was poorly constructed and may have been payed for. And if someone was going to punk Jen, they would have had enough sense to hide the evidence. But we still don't know how bad the wreck was before the repairers had at it.

ensie said...

Gotta say, to whoever says you don't get a tiered cake delivered put together...my tiered wedding cake came assembled from a professional.

I fully believe this is a professional cake. There are ALL levels of professionals. Anyone can slap down the money for a business license and start charging money.

Stop all the hating and just enjoy!

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