Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Any Occasion Will Do

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'm the type who thinks cakes are good for any occasion. Apparently, so are the people who ordered these:



After all, how often do you get to congratulate someone on "completeing" their jail sentence?

Wow, that often? Ok, never mind.

(Say, are those orange things supposed to be flowers or carrots? Either way, I'd be sorely tempted to stick some plastic babies on them.)


Alright, for those of you who are being congratulated: make sure you always thank the ones with the fat checkbooks.


Yay appropriate quotation marks! And thank goodness the decorator didn't choose to take a more literal approach to a cake celebrating potty-training.




Pete and Pete's lady, this one's for you:

Frozen peas only go so far,
So Ladies, here's a tip:
Be sure to buy your man a cake
When he gets the ol' snip-snip!


Yeah, I know: I missed my calling as a traveling troubadour.


Thanks to Wreckporters Monique R., Kyla S., and Stephanie P.!

Also, in the interests of full disclosure: the Bail cake was a gag. The others are legit, as far as I know.
J.L. Scott said...

This website does make me wonder - what won't someone write on a cake?

Lidian said...

You just made my day - I'm laughing as I type! This blog never ever ceases to amaze.

Hallmark needs to catch up with a line of cards to go with these cakes. Say, you could write the verses inside!

Linnea said...

as a mom of a newly potty trained kid, I wholeheartedly support this reason to eat cake! I felt like throwing an entire party!

Cathy Davis said...

Seriously? Wow...

Andrea Frederick said...

OK that is a little bit much. Some people need better things to do. WOW...that's all I have to say!

Chicka said...

See, now that's what I forgot after hubby's vas. A reception with cake!

~K

Ruth said...

These may win my vote for my favorite cake wrecks post ever.

V. Nicharico said...

LMAO!! That's awesome! I'm going to have to remember the vasectomy one ;)

Tracy said...

When my daughter was potty-trained, she got to choose new underwear. I guess I didn't realize the occasion called for a cake...

Mari said...

Haha, I sent a picture of that last cake to my husband. His response was, "Does that cake say what I think it says? Congratulations on not plaguing the earth with any more of your seed?"

Mom of Three said...

Wow! Little did I know I was supposed to buy hubby a CAKE!

Maybe it's not too late.

(Hilarious cakes, per usual!!!)

Anonymous said...

Only goes to prove that there's no wrong reason for a cake. I guess? LOL
~Amy B

Kara said...

I thought it said 'fail sentence' at first. Don't ask what that means, because I don't know, either.

Carol said...

The last one has me cracking up.

But yeah, if you are gonna get thrown in the pokey, definitely remember to thank those who sprung ya.

Leslie said...

Maybe Pete's first crop of kids were such nightmares that his procedure was a cause for celebration throughout the neighborhood?

Anonymous said...

I do hope you are going to issue a Wrecks 2009 calendar. Please be sure to include all those lesser-known holidays so we can order cakes for them.

Wreck on, cake decorators, wreck on.

Gretchen said...

We're a cake loving country, and these just prove we're willing to use any excuse to snarf down buttery sugary goodness.

janet said...

I'm kinda surprised the vasectomy cake doesn't have little sperms swimming around on it.

Flartus said...

I'm guessing the decorator of Pete's cake is of the male-type persuasion, as the handwriting attests to an unsettled state of mind.

Marie said...

Oh, can I have the piece with the potty? I don't think that cake could be any less cute. Where's the fireman cake when you need it?

Kat said...

Hysterical, as always! Thanks for my daily laugh! =)

Becky Sosa said...

These are great. My kids missed out I didn't realize potty training was a cake occation, but we have had cake for so many other occations, First football game of the season, first missing tooth, first E on behavior report card (that was hard for my son), Oh and just because its Sunday cake.

Juliet said...

I agree with JL Scott: what *won't* someone write on a cake?

It seems like any occasion calls for a cake. I got out of bed this morning! Where's my cake congratulating me on that? ;-)

Trevor said...

These are just priceless today. This is one of the best posts yet. I'm never surprised by what people will put on a cake!

Blablover5 said...

I think all news should be given in cake format.

Just imagine how much more fun it would be to get "Sorry 'you're getting' the death penalty"

pika23 said...

well Jail sentence could be an inside joke...like maybe they quit a job they hated or retired. Or got a divorce? I dunno...but leave it to people to literally mean Jail sentence.

Bobman said...

All I can think of with the "Congrats on competeing [sic] your jail sentence" cake is the cake from Back to the Future. I forget exactly what it said but it was a similar sentiment for Marty's uncle.

*Michelle said...

OMG! I love the idea that someone posted about a Cake Wreck calendar! I would buy 1 for me and 3 for the bakers I know. Problem would be picking just 12!

Jen said...

I can get behind the potty training cake and maybe even the jail cake, I mean, felons like cake too right?
But the vasectomy? I guess it's the least you can do to make your husband go through that but I don't remember getting a cake when I gave birth so why is he special? I'm not bitter, I promise. ;)

fluffy cow said...

Hey... any reason for cake is a good reason. Hummmm.... I DID get out of bed this morning!!

Kazuki said...

Ok thankfully I'm not the only one who thought the "j" in the "jail sentance" looked almost sorta kinda like an "f."
Thank you Kara! (earlier commenter)

mike. said...

I look at that vasectomy cake, and all I can see are those two lonely blue roses in the corner.... :(

MsFrisby said...

Sept. 24th is National Punctuation Day! So, thank goodness that you were able to post a cake with the correct usage of quotations for this very special day.

MsFrisby

Anonymous said...

I just realized what a terrible friend I am. How could I NOT have gotten a cake for my friend when she got out of jail??? After barely surviving her own emotional hell for 2 months, I really should have gotten her a cake. Dang.

Beth said...

Get out of jail cakes are so 1985! They did one in Back the the Future for Uncle Joey.

http://tinyurl.com/2bf5gx

Tracy O said...

Absolutely priceless!

I second the calendar idea - you've already got 10 on the favorites list - and four more here! Maybe the bail one belongs on the cover...

Thanks for making my day - every day!!!

Tracy

Josie said...

So... who has to eat the toilet bowl piece?

Twistie said...

Kara, you're not alone. I thought it said 'fail,' too.

As for the potty cake (potty,cake, potty cake, baker's man...no?) I think I'd rather just hand the kid a cupcake or something as a reward. There are some things I just can't imagine sharing out loud with enough people to consume that cake.

In re: the vasectomy cake, a friend of mine recently announced his wife's fourth pregnancy and his intention to get a vasectomy pretty much simultaneously. I wonder what the cake at the shower should look like? I'd ask Miss Manners, but she would just say that a fourth baby doesn't get a party simply for happening.

Jennifer said...

I had someone come into the bakery where I worked and asked me to write, "Congrats you're HIV free!" Every occasion is an understatement.

-Jen

Deaf Brown Trash Punk said...

haha. Well I'm gonna throw a "congrats" party for my BF when he gets out of prison.

TB Tabby said...

It's only a matter of time before we see a "Sorry to hear about your diabetes" cake.

amelia-eve said...

I thought the jaunty orange decorations on the first cake were a nod to those colorful prison jumpsuits!

Nosnin said...

I'm a cake decorator and you would not believe how common potty training cakes are. Personally I think it's a little over the top.

joyce said...

Toooo funny !!!! I'm with Marie---can I have the piece with the potty?? For thirty years I have cleaned that potty...

Can you imagine picking up and paying for the "Bail" one?? Yikes.

It is tempting to have a cake made that says: Glad that test came back positive !

adularia said...

Wow, I'm really glad I'm not the only one thinking an entire cake to celebrate potty training is a bit much.

Though for extra fun you could combine that sentiment with a Teletubby-pies theme, and make potty training that much more educational. Blue #40 in... blue #40 out!

Elvira said...

Am I so out of touch that I didn't realize that finally being potty trained calls for cake? I am just a horrible mother I guess. I wish I had gotten a cake for my C-Section. Oh the images that come to mind!...

Telefil said...

...kids get rewarded with cake for learning not to pee in their pants? No wonder they grow up with a massive sense of entitlement.

"Mom, I didn't hold up a convenience store and kill a man while stealing his car, today. I think that's worth at least two tiers, right?"

(I kid, I kid 'cos I love)

Wiebe Family said...

aaah too funny, I wish I would have thought to bake my husband a cake to go along with his bag of peas....hilarious!!! I think i might just do that still....

miki said...

What is it about the round cakes that makes me want to put my face directly in them? They always seem somehow tastier-looking than the others. Must be a hangup dating back to my first birthday party...

Teanna said...

Like kara, I thought it read "fail sentence." So I assumed it was one of those situations where the cake decorator wrote the actual instructions on the cake. Then I wondered what the heck "fail sentence" would mean. Maybe it was a case of bad penmanship? Hmmm. When I realized it was "jail sentence" it didn't seem so ridiculous!

Niamh said...

First off wow! People will celebrate just about anything just for the sake of eating cake. I thought about getting a potty cake for my son when he was potty trained but figured it would have been a waste of money since I figured he would have a relapse. Which yes he did LOL.
As for the calenders I have the perfect place to have them made and sold plus the owners of this site (if they make them) gets to keep some of the profits from those who buy them. I highly encourage them to check it out:
http://www.zazzle.com/create

Anonymous said...

What a great idea a cake wrecks calendar would be!! A great gift for that person who has everything!!!

Vicki

CaliGirl9 said...

LOVED the vasectomy cake. I think physicians everywhere who perform vasectomies should provide the vasectomized with a gift certificate for such a cake. Or at least provide a smaller version at discharge from a surgi-center (Along with the obligatory bag of frozen peas!).
However, the decor should consist of dying or trapped spermies instead of roses. Much more symbolic and meaningful!

Carrie said...

A vasectomy cake! I wish I had thought about that when hubby had the snip earlier this year! I'm notorious for cake occasions at our house (the 6 month old got a half-circle cake for his half birthday, get it?), so a vasectomy cake would have been perfect! I'm with the other poster who got her kids new undies when potty trained, but a cake would have been fun! I'll remember that for next time!

phillygirl64 said...

OMG...one of my dearest online friends is named Pete! But he and his wife have grandkids, so it probably wasn't for him...but I wouldn't put it past his wife to get this for him ;)

Crochet by Momma J said...

Too funny!

Yvonne said...

My mother bought a cake when I got my period. I was mortified. It said "welcome to womanhood."

debbiearnn said...

OK. You CRACK me up every DAY with these cakes.
hahahaha

I was thinking the same thing about the orange carrots and the babies.

heeheehee

I love this blog!

AND there's ALWAYS a good reason for CAKE!!!

Anonymous said...

I requested the calendars --
and I'd like to add to my order with a dozen or so Wrecks on greeting cards.

I'd like to give the nakedmohawkbabyjockeys to all my expectant friends. And hey, with today's batch, I've truly got a card for every occasion.

*sobbing* ...please, please, pretty please!?!

Laurie Laws said...

I, too, want to jump on the calendar bandwagon. Let us know if you decide to do one. I would buy about 10 for my friends.

Diane said...

I am going to get one of those vasectomy cakes for my husband. What better reason to celebrate.

Debbi said...

Jen ~ I am a graphic designer ... I certainly can design a "Cake Wrecks" calendar for you ...

Rachael M. said...

No wonder Americans are obsese!

Get out of jail?

Celebrate with cake!

Used the toilet?

Celebrate with a cake!

Voluntarily give up your fertility?

Celebrate with a cake!

When do we get so see

"Congratulations Jenny on Becoming a Woman" With all red roses and borders, of course...

ladycrim said...

I also thought of "Back to the Future" upon seeing the first cake. At least that one had an amusing illustration on it ...

Dea said...

Hmmm - I think my hubby would agree - the chicken wings and bottle of scotch he got post-vasectomy trump the cake any day of the week! LMAO!

Anonymous said...

I love how the vasectomy cake has a nice "pairing" of *ahem* round (some might say, "ball-shaped")blue (blue!) roses, dangling from severed little green vas deferens--I mean, rosebud--stems.

Manders said...

I am totally behind the potty training cake, as well. After finally getting little Aiden on the toilet, I am sure this mom wanted some cake for herself!! (It's a long process!)

As to the vasectomy cake...We won't go there! ;-)

Lisa said...

holy cow.
Can't......stop.......laughing......

LilBit said...

Hmmmm.. a potty training cake.. what a GOOD IDEA!! why didn't I think of this sooner?!

"Okay son... once you start using the potty.. you get CAKE to celebrate!" ...

maybe that will work? hmmmm..

Julie said...

I loved your blog. I can't read it during the day though because I don't want to burst out laughing in court (I am the clerk) - that would be bad!

NMrunner said...

a cake for going potty?! are you kidding me? is there a special one for going poo-poo?? LOL

Krista said...

My husband recently got snipped. I feel very sad that this idea didn't come to me sooner! I guess I could say, "Congratulations on your successful vasectomy!!" HAHA! That cracked me up!

Anonymous said...

I feel like I've been potty training my middle child forever and I'd be more than happy to make a congrats cake for him once we're finally done :)
- Julie
(http://www.cakesandkids.com)

Tanzie said...

For more "quotation mark" fun you should check out:
http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

La Pixie said...

I love your blogs, and these are some great wrecks!

because your blog is so great, I gave it some bloggie love. please visit me to see.

http://chroll.blogspot.com/

holly said...

Huh. Vasectomies, jail and potties. I'm thinking of some cake occasions I could do in my house for teen boys-

I love you! You put the seat down!

Thank you for using the same glass more than once!

You took the trash out, way to go!

Congrats! That is the laundry hamper!

We could do cake morning, noon and night here....

Jennifer said...

I heart your blog so I gave you an award! http://thefreebiediva.blogspot.com

Pam said...

Your blog frequently makes me laugh out loud! I just made a spectacle of myself while doing this in the Barnes and Noble cafe (where I am availing myself of the free WiFi because I still have no phone or electricity thanks to Hurricane Ike).

BrainGaius said...

Been reading the wrecks for a couple months now. Awesomely terrible wrecks. (Criticism ahead)

I'm sorry, but those quotation marks ARE appropriate because "go" is being used ironically. Remember class, what is irony? "The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention" Thank you, Mr. Bender, now finish watching Fry's Opera.

See, go being used as a euphemism for bodily evacuation and go used in the nebulous, encouraging sense. (/criticism)

Love the blog, though! :-)

Jen said...

@braingaius: [scratching head] Er, I was actually celebrating the correct usage of those quotation marks when I said "Yay appropriate quotation marks!"

See, for once I WASN'T being sarcastic. ;)

manicpaniccomix said...

These are truly truly fantastic..great wreckporting.

Anonymous said...

On the first one I read
"Congradulations
on completing
you fail sentence"
Which would also have been funny lol

Cynthia Z said...

wow... that's so appropriate to have a cake with pretty flowers on it after a vasectomy... Bet Pete feels like a REAL man now.

Amy said...

A friend of mine is active in AA. At the end of each month, his group has a birthday cake for those who celebrated "sobriety birthdays" that month. When it was his turn to buy the cake, he had it read: "Happy Birthday Drunks"

Allergy Mom said...

I made my son a red velvet cake when he potty trained (It was an Elmo thing)...I should have realized that one was for "Welcome to Womanhood."

My bad.

Anonymous said...

I'm going back to see if the fireman cake might have been a better decorative background to use to bare, er, bear the vasectomy message. And does anyone think that "hose" being held by Happy Harriot on the fireman cake represents the common denominator between the jail sentence, the commode and the vasectomy? Lois

andie said...

I'm thinking these are all thematically related. See, Pete should be congratulated on the vasectomy, because now he won't have any more no-good kids who are destined to be imprisoned. Hm. Not sure how the potty fits into this, though. A little help?

Holli said...

Niamh, maybe if you'd gotten your kid a cake, he wouldn't have relapsed...;)

Mine just started making it through the night without accidents. I'm thinking definitely cake worthy. =D

stephanie said...

i seriously think this is the best blog of all time.

Helen said...

Surely there are enough bad cakes out there for some sort of 'cake a week' desk calendar?

I'd buy it for sure - as long as you ship to the UK!

Susan said...

OK then.........LOL. And "completing" is spelled wrong too. All the lovely people out there decorating cakes with words who don't know how to spell.........it just cracks me up

Debbie said...

I've just discovered your blog site and can I just say that I've appreciated every laugh and giggle you help to provide.
But, really, a vasectomy cake? Isn't anything sacred anymore?

Truly...let them ALL eat cake has new meaning!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I got a cake to celebrate his vasectomy, but I never thought to get it personalized. Darn! Missed opportunity.

Anonymous said...

The jail cakes remind me of the one from Back to the Future for Uncle Jailbird Joey. ~ Evil Jim

Calantha said...

Ah, bruised blue roses. The perfect decoration for a vasectomy cake. especially if attached to a pair of blue blobs of icing that look like dubiously like more organs.

The first one: Was it carrot cake?

Anonymous said...

oh, yvonne and amy! your comments had me cracking up!

i am having trouble getting my little boy potty trained, but when we DO get there..i'm buying a cake for ME!!

this site cracks me up! i am about to go into labor (37 weeks!)!

Stephanie said...

I love the calendar idea. But there are so many random cake occasions! You need a page a day calendar so you can include all the new cake-worthy holidays and occasions (with witty verses and banter)!

(No, really, PLEASE? I would send them to SO many people.)

(I fully realize this takes the Cake Wreck Calendar idea out of the realistic possibility range but figured I'd run with it.)

Cakes are great as usual!

clueuin said...

O.k ditto on the whole calendar thing. You Jen, gurl, would be making money hand over fist!
Give me a heads up when you make them. (I say when because there is no "if" about that hon! You should make one.) Jen your blog rocks!

To Pam: Keep your head up babe, we're praying for you here at Riverside Chruch in New York and will be sending you guys down there some supplies and such.
Good luck!
(Free Wi-fi rules, don't it Pam!)

hnybny said...

I sent in the vasectomy pic and yes, the woman at the Stop & Shop bakery was amused at the personalization.

Kyla Springall said...

Ok...so the bail cake was mine for my 19th birthday. I feel like I need to share the story.

As was disclosed, it WAS a gag (I was not in jail.)

I was throwing myself a birthday party and thought it would be totally egotistic to order myself a cake that said "Happy Birthday Kyla!" I couldn't possibly dream of going cakeless, so my friends and I brainstormed for the most bizarre cake wish we could think of...we finally picked after going through Dairy Queen's list of images they could ice onto the cake.

We spent much of the party taking pictures and posing behind some prison-bar chairs that I had. It definitely the highlight of the party!

As a side note, I feel like this blog inspires me to go out and purposely try to find wrecks, rather than waste my time with awesome cakes...wrecks are much more fun!

Maddy said...

O.k. you've won me over already. I'm a subscriber.

However, I think if I'd given my husband a cake like that after the snip I suspect he would have cut off my cake allowance.
Cheers

Cupcakes Lady said...

Lol poor Aiden ;) xx