Friday, January 7, 2011

Cheat Sheet Cakes

Friday, January 7, 2011

"Excuse me, but what is this cake supposed to be?"

"That? That's a princess tiara, of course."

"Seriously? Wow. I never would've got that. Uh. Thanks."

....

"Sorry to bother you again, but could you tell me what this icing blobby bit here is?"

"It's a telephone."

"And this one over here?"

"That's a poodle."

"And that?"

"Tank covered in butterflies."

"I...see. Thanks."

.........

"Hi again. I was just wondering...."

*sigh* "Look, lady, do I have to label everything in this bakery for you?"

[brightening] "Oooh, if you wouldn't mind..."

"FINE."










(If you're thinking this is getting a little ridiculous, just wait.)

Theeeere it is.


Thanks to MWD, Sandi G., Joshua L., Betsy N., Ed P., and Nicole P., who know better than to believe everything they read. (That's obviously Oscar. [head tilt] Or maybe Rizzo.)
The Boob Nazi said...

I never would've gotten the princess tiara one....

Fluffy Cow said...

Somehow, the labels don't really help. They seem more like insults.

Sara said...

wow, the princess tiara must really be working out a lot!! look at those muscles lol!! am i the only one that thinks it looks like its trying to body build? haha

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Now there's a Kermit that Jim Henson would be proud of!

Stoich91 said...

*reading*

...how could it get worse???...
"Kermit the -" WHAT THE!!!???
...ahhh...ok. Now I see how it gets worse.

:D Hey, at least they're proud enough to label the wrecks or conscious enough to realize how lamely unrecognizable each piece is. So, yeah...

HAGEN said...

Oh God, poor Kermit!!!!!!!

Danger Boy said...

Poor Kermit. He looks more like Pac Man after a 3 day bender.

Trevor said...

Um, really, that's Kermit the Frog? *wagging finger* "I don't think so."

T.T. said...

Thanks goodness they labeled the Giant Cookie, I thought it was pie :p LOL
I am a little disturbed by the Cupcake CCC...Doesn't that violate some sort of physics rule?

Katie said...

I'd like to believe the Giant Cookie is just some passive-aggressiveness getting let out.

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Baahhahaha

Love the "Giant Cookie" It cracks me up!

Cheri said...

Apparently Captain Obvious is now a professinal cookie decorator.

Tamara Marnell said...

How long have frogs had beaks? You'd think I would have noticed that by now....

Anonymous said...

Talk about false advertising! I'm not buying that princess tiara...(and I MEAN that). That ear-less "teddy bear" looks more like a gingerbread cookie wannabe. flagging a taxi. or that "bus"

that kermit the frog is very suspicious, and what the heck is in his mouth? did he pull a "Christmas Story-stick-your-tongue-to-a-metal-pole-and-see-if-it-sticks" routine and now it's covered in gauze? poor Flick. I mean, "Kermit." in a turtleneck (how ironic! get it? turtle? nvm) or scarf.

cupcake army is more like it, CCC.

but the best, the one that made me LOL, the giant cookie, labeled "Giant Cookie." How stupid is the clientele/staff at this store (er, "bakery")? it's a message cookie. why is the message "giant cookie"? now there's no room to personalize it. what occasion are we buying "giant cookie" for? maybe they can use it as an insult baked good for someone with a huge rump? or a token of love for someone with a huge significant other? (in which case, that cookie might not be considered "giant" by the recipient. gulp!)

Susan said...

I think the giant cookie one is funny and ironic. The others are just sad. Though I am slightly amused at the very pretty writing that labels some of these monstrosities.

Then there's Kermit, they couldn't even write. How can they call themselves professionals?

Donkaloosa said...

I hate to say that the cupcake cupcake cake (what else would I call it?) is the best looking one of the bunch. The school bus looks like it's been in one too many wrecks, the tiara looks more like one of the old plastic "wigs" that were a play toy back when I was young (they were sort of like a conehead but shaped like a hairstyle). And Kermit? Poor, poor Kermie... Jim Henson is spinning in his grave.

wv: clestre: what you make with cupcakes to make a cupcake cake --- it's a clestre of cupcakes

Rachel said...

Why does Kermit have a giant doobie in his mouth?! KERMIT?!!?

My favorite has to be Giant Cookie, though.

Anonymous said...

Not sure who the heck that Kermit looks like, but its most definitely not Rizzo. (or Kermit.)

-moochmom

MK said...

so what exactly is that supposed to be in Kermit's mouth?

BB, Miami said...

I would have gotten the giant cookie, and maybe the...

Actually, just the giant cookie.

JayKuz said...

I thought kermit was a T-rex emryo.

Also, why doesn't that bear have ears!?

TriGirl said...

"A tank with butterflies"...lulz :)

Tricia L said...

Pretty sure that Kermit is actually the Geico Gecco. The Giant Cookie made my day. Thanks.

Esther said...

Kermit??? I thought that was Godzilla eating an airplane (he obviously pulled the wings off first).

Craig said...

#1 A CCCCC. Well, it's better than a CCC (patooie!).

#2 A short bus. How appropriate.

#3 Making progress on the piping skills -- one hopes the person holding the bag (as it were) can soon graduate to real cakes.

#4 If it had ears, there would be no room for the label. Waddaya want for $4.00?

#5 "Another order for 'BABY in the USA'? I'm not doing that again!"

#6 Kermit, Kermit. There must be better ways to keep Miss Piggy at bay than letting yourself go like that.

Cat said...

Giant Cookie is awesome. I have to believe that the "wreckerator" who wrote that intended the joke. I just have to.

Zia Madeira said...

I was thinking "yes, this helps considerably! I get it... even if it's dumb." And then I got to "giant cookie" and lost it. Wow.

Anonymous said...

The princess tiara one is rather pretty--for a CCC. Even though it does look more like a giant blue crab.

Elizabeth C. said...

To be fair to the Kermit Wreckerator, whipped cream in a can is a really difficult writing medium....

BADKarma! said...

Evidently, Kermit is now moonlighting as a Pokemon... O_o

WV - flogie: A masochist frog which appears on cakewrecks and moonlights as a pokemon.

~flying gurl~ said...

Rizzo? only if you have smoked/ah tilted yer ah er ummm never mind...poor Kermit where are his eyes? Snorted on Flogie...The Teddy bear without ears and the GIANT COOKIE...priceless...

mladybright said...

I have no words. Other than those four... or eight... or...

Oh, never mind.

~~Di

Busibe -- those wreckerators were busibes, getting all those labels on there.

elissa said...

The cupcake isn't half bad, actually, especially for a CCC.

amchornetgirl said...

Oh poor Kermie...that's just cruel!

Aliza said...

It's really quite sad when you need a label to recognize a cupcake... that's made from cupcakes!

While the wreckerator didn't know what a school bus actually looks like, at least they spelled it correctly!

It may look like a blue crab (is the princess feeling blue today? is her disposition crabby? or is she naughty and caught something?!), but the decoration's actually done rather well.

Lack of ears is the least of that bear's problems.. unappetizing swirls and a shocked, mal-formed face seem a bit more serious!

"giant cookie" Love it!

Someone, please show that wreckerator a pic of the ever-adorable Kermie! Head shape... and tongue-less (thankfully with a missing fly!)

Anonymous said...

The princess tiara makes me feel like I am looking at someone's dyed fallopian tubes. Not exactly what I want to be thinking of when I eat cake:)

-AJ

Loo-E Loo-I said...

wv: Paishin

I was losing my paishin when I couldn't figure out what these cakes were supposed to be. Then the bakery put labels on them for me - how nice!

Oh. Never mind.

LOL I thought the same thing about Kermie - looks like a sick Pacman. Maybe from smokin' too much.

*snicker* Giant Cookie *snicker* Here's your sign!

Fiammetta said...

So... is it a cupcake cupcake cake or a cupcake cake of cupcakes? Maybe it'd be easier to write it as 2(cup) + 2(cake) cake? Or should it be (cup + cake)² cake? Okay, let's steer clear of that territory... I haven't done any sort of mathematical equation in at least 10 years. Not even one involving cupcakes.

Who bit the ear off the teddy bear, neatly placed the cover back on, and put it back out for sale?

Anonymous said...

The poor Teddy Bear reminds me of the cartoon I saw of the Chocolate Rabbit Hospital...an ear missing here, a leg bitten off there...where are his poor ears?

Rachel H. said...

Okay, the "princess crown" looks like a blob flexing its muscles. *flex*

mimiheart said...

Actually, my wv. is the description for all of them: messess

Poor Kermit.

Herouth said...

I think they won't be sued by Disney[*] for copyright/brand infringement. Because that thing, like in the old Lassie book, looks nothing like the real Kermit. Maybe that's what the wreckerators were going for.


[*]As far as I could figure from the 'net, Disney owns the rights to Kermit. Strange but True.

D.B. Echo said...

The cupcake cupcake cake with the word "CUPCAKE" on it has just caused legions of hipsters to declare "We're totally beyond cupcakes. Now it's all about pie."

WVW:
cocoprew: A beer made of chocolate and prawns.

pikkewyntjie said...

Okay, so we have to label everything now.

Snarky Comment about cakes:

"Kermit" looks like he's performing a lewd act on the word "the". I guess Sesame Street has really changed since I was a kid! This episode was brought to you by the number 69.

Snarky comment about word verification word:

WV: buthoust
The word that popped into my mind was "butt house"

lundy911 said...

Kermit looks like he is smoking a doobie.

Anonymous said...

A cupcake cupcake cake???? My brain just exploded.

kater said...

i laughed so loud at danger boy's "3-day bender" comment that the kids came down to see the new wrecks.

wv - hendispe: if you hendispe-n to me, i drawle on yer cekc.

Shannon said...

that poor teddy bear looks like it's getting sucked into a black hole!

Micalah said...

Haha! Thats so funny! The labels don't help much. It seems like the baker knows that the cake is bad. :D

Naazju said...

There is NO WAY that is a princess crown. The baker must think he has a sense of humor.

Texpenguin said...

Argh!!!!! Recursive cakery! Won't this cause an endless loop in the software, resulting in ((cupcake) to the nth power) cake)?!! Now I know why all those birds and fish died--they gorged themselves to death on the impending infinite cupcake doom. It really IS the end of the world, all because one baker just couldn't stick with misshapen monkeys and footballs...

WV: reosyc EX. Those birds got reosyc on all that cake.

scbeachchik said...

Ohmygosh! YES that tiara (I'm sorry "princess crown") totally looks like text-book illustrated fallopian tubes! And that poor ear-less teddy bear...poor poor teddy.

NightNurse said...

I'm surprised the school bus cake has only two visible wheels; give up the sudden and selective concern for perspective and one could have gotten 2 more chocolate cupcakes into the, and I use the word loosely, design.

This labelled ccc (patooie!) also makes me think of the day I was stuck in downtown city traffic behind a large yellow school bus. I suddenly realized the black painted lettering on the back door spelled EMERGENY EXIT DOOR. School motto had to be "We can't teach your kids to spell but in the event of a crash we'll get them out!"

Shelly C. said...

Seriously, that looks about as much like Kermit the Frog as I do! (And no, I'm not green.)

SoupAddict Karen said...

As someone who worked in grocery store's bakery/deli while in college, I can totally see how these happened.

Manager: Could you label today's new bakery items? [Meaning, put the bar code labels on the packaging - they arrived without]

Disaffected Assistant: Labels? [slurp] whaddoya mean?

Manager: Get yer finger out of the icing bucket and pay attention. Label the bakery goods that arrived today so the customers know what they are.

Disaffected Assistant: Oooh. [Looking at the pastry bag in his finger-licked hand as light bulb clicks on] Okay.

LizzyBean said...

Kermit doesn't look like himself anymore.

The Giant Cookie one was freaking hilarious.

techgator said...

Thank you for making me laugh every post! :))

Diane said...

Why does that poor bear have no ears?! It would have only taken 2 more cupcakes!

Anonymous said...

I haven't baked a cake in like 20 years, but seriously, I could do better!

Nikki said...

that "teddy bear" (intentional quotes of sarcasm) looks more like a concerned gingerbread man... and I'm VERY glad they clarified the Kermit... I would never have guessed it!

wv: phongyb: the filter that bakeries put on their phones rendering all orders as bizarre gibberish to be traslated however they choose.

Anonymous said...

I loved the Giant Cookie! I would totally do that if I thought I could get away with it at work.

I seriously have at least one person every week ask me "Where are your giant cookies?"

The sad thing is that the cookies are in the first section and the top shelf of the bakery.

Maybe they'd notice the giant cookies if I labeled them...or not.

Anonymous said...

I honestly thought that "Kermit" was a green-feathered, white-beaked bird.

archersangel said...

i would've thought the giant cookie would be obvious.

Eating With Hudson said...

Too funny this blog! I love it.

ilze said...

Remarkably strange - all those labels are spelled correctly!

Plangkye said...

To be fair, most school buses I've seen do in fact say "School Bus" on the side.

lizzied said...

I have one word for the last one: Sleestack.

Anonymous said...

WTF????

Carol said...

It's a good thing that the frog was labeled Kermit, because no one who has ever seen the "real" (cute!) Kermit, would guess that's who it's supposed to be.

deb said...

"Giant Cookie" - what? If you have to label it, probably time to rethink your career choice.

Arlene said...

Why does that "tiara" look like it wants to put a stranglehold on anyone that dares even try to cut into it? And scary though it is I thought that "frog" looked like a pac man gone awry lol.

Pirka said...

Actually, that supposed "Kermit" cake looks a lot more like Audrey II...FEED ME, SEYMOUR!

Laura said...

ha, if some of those weren't labeled, they wouldn't be cakes: they would be Rorschach tests!

Anonymous said...

Teddy's got no ears!!!!

He's got NO EARS!!!

No EARS!!!!!!!!


Oh no!!! Who could be so cruel as to chop teddy's ears off?

Poor teddy - we'll all need years of therapy after seeing him in that pathestc state......

tiny purple elephant said...

The tiara is actually well done.
Kermit the frog had me laughing!!!!
Love Kermit, but that looked more like a lizard and the tongue!!!

salamandermuse said...

Kermit is definitely doing something naughty!

wv: shede: the act of making lewd and inappropriate illustrations in cake art; demonstrating questionable morality with icing (i.e.: what is in Kermit's mouth?)

Anonymous said...

this is hilarious. also funny: http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!!

Kimberly Chapman said...

At least "Kermit" seems to be appropriately medicated.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, firefly.... mourn mourn. Love the cake though

Anonymous said...

The first cake I ever decorated, I was 12...it consisted of candy bears I stuck to the cake and piped balloons that they were each holding....even THAT looked better than a lot of these cakes! Wow.

Anonymous said...

Its a cupcake cupcake cake!

Euryale69 said...

Where's the one that says "CAKE"?

Boy George said...

Aren't those school bus wheels just too darned *cute*? That cake cracks me up!

mandy_Reeves said...

Kermit the Frog?? more like Kermit the Forg. <---reference to one of the estest ever Sesame Street skits ever!

Hester said...

Haha, the teddy bear looks like a Chewbacca gingerbread man.

Anonymous said...

A CUPCAKE made out of CUPCAKES? In a CAKE? That's so meta.

Bhakti said...

I love that school bus! I could just imagine someone at that grocery store bakery had been watching ACE OF CAKES and felt inspired to kick up his game a little at work. =D

On the other hand, the person who created that blue soft-shell-crab- looking princess tiara could might want to consider catching a couple of episodes of ACE OF CAKES! Lest I jest...I'm sure a lot of love went into the making of that cake. Not so sure about the Kermit one, though.

And if Andy Warhol had labeled that giant cookie "Giant Cookie" it'd be on display at The Museum of Modern Art.
Sad, but true!

Abigail said...

That kermit blew me away