[lowering lights]
[tiptoeing closer]
[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?
Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....
[tiptoeing closer]
[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?
Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....
Oh.Sheesh, what'd they frost that thing with, marshmallows and warm head cheese?
Hm?
OH, right! Sorry, sorry!
Aw, you're looking a little pale. You know what would help? More cake.
[nodding knowingly]
How convenient! The Oreos come pre-chewed!Whoa, there, pal. You sure are sweating a lot.
Quick, take a look at this:
I'd say the fly died after seeing the moldy strawberry. What do you think?Wow. I've never actually seen someone turn that shade of green before. Fascinating.
Well, listen. Maybe you shouldn't scroll down any further.
No, really, I mean it.
You really shouldn't be scrolling down here in your condition.
Or any condition, for that matter.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, this last cake is really, really gross.
Like, life-time-trauma level disgusting.
You're still scrolling.
What are you, some kind of sadomasochist?
I'm telling you, this thing is NASTY.
Well...
Ok.
But don't say I didn't warn you.
Last chance to scroll back!
Aaaand...
Prepare to squirm:
[yelling] The bathroom's the first door on your left! Happy New Year!
Anony M., Carissa S., Jessica, & Anony M., thanks for kick-starting my New Year's diet plan.
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128 comments | Post a Comment
What is going on with that last cake? Photoshop? A bizarre restaurant? A broken freeser? Whatever the case, I'll pass thanks!!
How did they bake that without melting the gummi worms?
Oh my... is that last one... real? x.x
Oh, dear Lord...please tell me those things are fake...please?
Wow... the worm one has got to be the first cake I've ever seen that actually made me react with a gag reflex. Though that marshmallow and heaven-knows-what one is pretty impressive too.
This is the first comment I've posted on your site, but I LOVE the cake wrecks blog, especially the Sunday Sweets! Keep up the awesome, hilarious work. :)
Is that raw ground beef frosting? And I can't imagine those are anything but real worms.
Wow - that last one was really gross. My 4 YO boy on the other hand, wanted that piece! Boys can be so gross! - Linda
Is that...raw beef??? *erp*
WV: reado--I need to reado muh pants after that last cake...
wv:reado--I need to reado muh pants after that last cake!
That is so gross!!! You should have warned me!
Well you've just made my diet SO much easier. Blurgh.
Oh, sweet lord...please tell me the worms are fake. Please? Even if you have to lie.
These cakes are for pigs and birds.
The moldy is for the pig trough.
The nightcrawlers-obviously for the birds.
Love this blog.
mocking
OMFSM. My stomach was making awful gurgly noises right after that first cake ("warm head cheese"? That's the way to start your day, yessiree.) and I almost had to bolt when I saw the moldy strawberry. That last one, though...
[breathes deeply through nose]
NOT cool, man, NOT cool.
Carmiehead, the Un-Stalker
*who could use some Pepto right.about.NOW.*
So much for eating breakfast! My stomach will be churning for quite some time after that last one! Blechhh!
That last one is like the Lady Gaga meat dress of cakes.
Barf.
I really don't understand how that last one can be real. The, er, cake is sliced sharply and cleanly, but none of the worms appear to be harmed...no obviously partial worms to be seen.
My Eyes! My Eyes! Not to mention my stomach!
Please, please explain the last cake.
It's fake, right? (Please let it be fake, please let it fake.)
Um, I've seen the whole "dirt and worms" thing in many variations... and those don't look like gummy worms... I thought the dead fly on the furry strawberry was really, really bad. But that last one is .... scary!
What a great way to start the new year. This reinforces why I NEVER purchase pre-made cakes.
What's worse than earthworms (I'm guessing those are earthworms) in a cake? Maggots in chocolate. Yes, this is real and, fair warning, do not look at the video of this unless you want to avoid chocolate for a week afterwords.
http://www.theorlandoblog.com/kissimmee-target-sells-maggot-filled-choxie-chocolates/1102
Are those worms real? Please say no.
No seriously.
Other than actual maggots I can't come up with how they made the last one look like that!
I'm still traumatized from the nauseating fruitcake post. And now hHamburger filling?
Please please PLEASE tell me that is coconut in the last cake.
Honestly I couldn't stare at it long enough to make my own determination.
*shudder*
Seriously, what is the deal with that last cake? You're keeping everyone in suspense!
Could you have warned us first? Maybe with a title, "read this on an empty stomach"? Really Gross.
At first I thought the last cake looked really yummy and that you were pulling my leg and then I saw the worms, the WORMS, THE WORMS...I've just this minute eaten the last slice of Christmas cake but all I can think of is the WORMS.....
That last one reminds me of an Irish-language movie I saw a few years ago. Two strangers find themselves in the same train compartment on a trip across Ireland, a businesswoman and a garrulous blind man. The man carries on an inane mostly one-sided connversation throughout the trip before unwrapping a slice of cake he had bought before boarding. The cake is pink - I forget if he asks her to confirm that it is pink, because that's what he wanted, or if she lies and tells him it is not pink. But after a few bites, she tells him she sees a worm in it - well, half a worm, since he appears to have eaten the other half. (She may be making this up.) The man has a panic attack, fumbles for his medication, and collapses, possibly dead. The train arrives at its destination and the woman gathers her things and leaves.
WVW: matorti: The act of killing someone with a worm-ridden cake.
Oh, geez. The Irish short film I mentioned above is called "The Cake." The blind man is Brendan Gleeson - Mad-Eye Moody!
WVW: reptorns: Reptilian creatures that will avenge the death of anyone murdered by cake.
OK I was warned, i shouldn't have read this post.
I found out Christmas Eve that our family will be expanding next fall.
This morning my body decided it was time for the nausea to kick in. And then I had to check Cake Wrecks.
I think now would be a good time to go lie down.
It's fake, it's fake, it's GOT to be fake...That's just..omg...I shouldn't have looked at it...I think this post needs to come with an R rating...yech...
WHERE did people find such disgusting cakes? And did they call the health department?
Oh man. It took a few seconds to realize that the last cake was not as 'yummy' as it looked. At least you gave us fair warning...
There was no video at the link that Techydad posted but I found a cached link that worked (in case you really, really want to see maggots coming out of chocolates!).
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:XYHBglJXMt4J:www.theorlandoblog.com/kissimmee-target-sells-maggot-filled-choxie-chocolates/1102+target+sells+chocolate+with+maggots&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
I'm trying to be charitable, and assume that first cake was a lame attempt at a stack of pancakes with syrup and butter, but it's JUST NOT WORKING... (running screaming like a little girl)...
id still eat the oreo one.. pre-chewed and all. :P
I was already sick before reading your post, now, I'm above the toilet !
This is disgusting !!!
And how briliant of you to collect them...
And, like everyone, I would like to know what happened to the last cake !!
Dang, girl!!!
Okay, so you DID warn me.
Sick as I am, I had to keep scrolling down. I cannot for the life of me figure out if those are real worms or not. They look far too real to not be. Please.. I have to know!
The gag reflex was working quite well on the first cake.... I do not know why I continued. Is it the same reason why we have to answer the phone at night, or go out of the house, or run down that dark road???
The same reason we go to horror flicks, cover our eyes, but have to peek?
Well, I thought I was going to go have some breakfast after I just checked a few websites. You cured me of that.
~~Di
The last one is NOT full of earthworms people! First of all, what would earthworms be doing in a cake? Maggots I can see but earthworms? Second, its nicely placed next to a bowl of cream, that looks nice and fresh so it's not like the cake was there for ages and then got worms. Cuz there is no way someone found out their cake had worms and still went on to serve a nice slice with a garnish and hope the guys just didn;t notice.
I have a pretty strong visual constitution with most things (except bugs and spiders), but wow, you challenged it today, starting right out of the gate with that head cheese thing. But the worms?! Real or fake, it matters not, the visual is burned into my retinas and I have a sudden urge to watch Pink Floyd's "The Wall" ... waiting for the worms...
Bravo!
I've seen some pretty realistic gummy earthworms, so I'm thinking they used those? And just made a frosting that looks like ground beef? I think we'd all love to know the story behind that last one!
The last one reminds me of a worm farm. Must "not be for human consumption" or the loser of a really bad bet!
I would actually enlarge the photos and try to figure them out if they were not so disgusting. The first one is really the worst. I think I could give a passing glance to the worms on the last one, but what the heck are the lumps on the first one.
Congratulations, those cakes have reached a new all time low...or high...I'm not sure which it is since this IS about cake WRECKS. The warm head cheese was bad enough, but that wormy cake... Oh, my... It is beyond words.
If you zoom in, the worms are photoshopped in.... thankfully! At first i thought it was an "art" cake, made of dirt. Seems to be a chocolaate cake with lumpy icing....
Wow. Those cakes were SO bad that my cookies tossed themselves!
Omigod, for real? Those worms look too flesh to be gummies.
Did Anyone notice the price on the moldy strawberry one? 12,99 for a moldy cake haha!
Dear God. What is that... thing?
That last cake, it looks like earth worms coming out the side. It's got to be on purpose, they still put a fancy bowl of whipped cream on the side
I'm thinking the last cake is a) real worms and b) was created via some method other than application of heat to celebrate a happy occasion for some lovely zoo animal (or other wild creature)
So, happy 5th birthday/anniversary/New Years to Tammy the Tasmanian Devil/Willy the Warthog/Gene the Genet, etc.
Nice Princess Bride reference Fluffy Cow. To the Pain indeed.
Jen, you are evil.
pure.
evil.
(and yet I keep reading :)
Hey, at least the Oreo cake comes with Pepto-bismal frosting!
(Not even TOUCHING the worm-cake...in any sense of the word.)
As soon as I saw the "squirms" reference in that last one...I knew there would be worms..I was prepared...almost. lol
Still waiting to find an explination to the last one in the comments... nope not there... HOW one earth did they do that????
Actually, I think the first cake was the grossest of the bunch, but I have to say I'd probably hesitate before tasting that last one. I'm pretty sure those are gummy worms, but still... o_O
Well, I see Ralph & Earl's bakery is in full production.
That first one looks like a shrink-wrapped stack of pancakes with the traditional topping of mini-marshmallows.
The second one (note how I declined to use #2) should work for those who need Pepto about now.
If the Kwanzaa kake is an "edible hate crime," (sure about the 'edible' part, Gordon?) the third one is a crime of another sort.
I don't want to give the game away on #4, but I note that no worms were harmed in the slicing of that cake. Said slicing appears to have been done by -- what do they call someone who makes photographed food look much better than reality? -- oh yes, 'a politician'. The filling appears to be gelatin parfait, which is an 'interesting' concept all by itself.
When people ask me why I don't drink, I can now offer them four more reasons.
Later & greater!
That last cake is going to haunt my nightmares tonight!
Thought I was golden 'cause it's hours after breakfast. I was *wrong*, oh so very wrong. D:
Urp,
leorising
How? What? WHHHHHHYYYYYYY??????????????
Really, you need to explain that last one...is that for real? Like, really real? I know you gave a warning...but it was not sufficient. Wow, that's nasty.
I definitely have to agree with Treeling. That last cake has to be a celebration treat of some sort for some sweet and deserving zoo animal. Right? RIGHT?
The strawberry cake is *not* from the United States. You can tell by the price tag above it.
America uses a *period* to separate the dollars and cents, not a *comma*. The price tag in the picture clearly shows a comma separating the dollars and cents.
HAHAHA!!! That is TERRIBLE!!!
Oh, and _The Monster at the End of This Book_ would be a great follow-up read. Not NEARLY that nasty, but same entertaining approach! :)
Thanks for helping with my New Year's Diet. Blech.
@techydad... I once got a particular brand of chocolate bar I used to absolutely LOVE, and it had maggots in it. Haven't been able to eat that brand of chocolate bar since.
In other news... OMG, the dead fly. DEAD FLY. The wormy cake didn't get me as much as that did. *shudder*
Techydad & Margaret - I can't go watch that video. No lie: about 25 years ago, I was a tweenager and bought some Reese's peanut butter cups from a Target in Ventura County. Ate one and accidentally broke the second in half. Dozens of maggots were squirming around in the peanut butter. I was literally traumatized for life - I vomited, screamed, and, to this day, can never eat anything without breaking it in pieces & inspecting it. I wish there had been digital cameras & lawyers on every corner back then because I could use some money for food therapy. My mother wouldn't even let me take it back in for a refund. I hate Target and I hate Hersheys.
Brilliantly disgusting! ewwwww... why do I keep thinking about those cakes?
I was okay with the last cake (it does have the slightly off look of a very good photoshop job) but the mouldy strawberry did get my stomach reeling a bit. Why would they still have this displayed!!!
HAHA! Those are so nasty. LOVE it! "love" as in "those are really really disgusting and would harf my brains out if they were physically near me but I like to laugh at them"...that kind of love. THANKS FOR THE GIGGLES!!
No, no.. please, say it isn't so..
Mmmm. Protein.
Maybe it was a break-up cake. You know, the opposite of the will-you-marry-me, hide-the-ring-in-the-dessert thing?
"I had this cake made just for you, to show you how I feel. Now close your eyes; open wide...."
At least a couple of those cakes were Pepto-bismol pink. o.O
The one with the fly/moldy strawberry could happen if there were no more bakers....
None of these are as disgusting as the ashtray cake from last (?) year. Nope, not even the one with the worms.
Check this site out...it has the same pic as the last one. My vote...it's fake.
http://www.weirdthings.org.uk/top-8-weird-and-bizarre-food-dishes-in-the-world-would-you-eat-it/
Ok, either something is wrong with me or I have an iron constitution. I just thought these cakes were funny! And I have a really loosy-goosy gag reflex, too. But seriously, that last cake looks like the best April Fool's Day cake EVER!
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms...
Um... didn't mean it. *gulp*
$12,99 is a lot for a mouldy strawberry!
As my Dad would say, "I wouldn't touch any of these with a shovel." And I'm with Treeling on the zoo animal birthday thing, though I can't for the life of me figure out why they'd put it on the good china...
It was a full 15 seconds before realization set in that those were indeed real worms. I really should have read the warnings you posted that I blithely passed by - thinking yeah yeah it can't be that bad. Uh-huh.
Welcome to FEAR FACTOR... Cake Wrecks-style!!!
Yeesh... Last cake, real worms and... is that raw meat as filling? I really should dare one of my friends to eat that cake. Yup.
I work at a bakery, so naturally the boss and I were talking about cake. He told me a horror story about biting into a Ho-Ho and finding it was full of maggots. Well, wouldn't you know it, someone gave us a box of Ho-Ho's, and I told my husband of my boss's gross story. So we pulled the ho-ho apart, just to be on the safe side, and it was FULL OF MAGGOTS! Quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I will never buy prepackaged snack cakes again, which makes me sad because I used to love them.
And, these wrecks are fantastic!! Sickening, and fantastic!
Oh...my, that last cake. wrong, just soooo wrong. ick.
(bluasargjhdkghdgkhdghdkg) why didn't I listen, WHY?
Please tell me that that last cake was a "mud cake" that a four-year-old made, to add some spice to mud pies.
Haha! I love it! Go to www.micalah17.blogspot.com!
That last one is pretty gross! I wonder how they did that!
Oh my God! So gross! I feel like I'm gonna puke...
Oh please someone tell me that last one is a manip! Please, before I hurl.
Using a reverse image search engine called Tineye, I found several non-doctored versions of the worm cake. One of them is here: http://bookit.com/travel_guide-m0g0c-Mexico-Restaurants-Pie_in_the_Sky-937.html
I was unable to figure out WHY someone made it into the worm cake.
The worms in the last one were definitely Photoshopped. They're only slightly pixelated in relation to the rest of the cake, but you can just tell.
More to the point, what's with the pink 'icing'--looks like ground-up ham!
Also, that white smear on the bottom... ech.
WV: Ingesin: (v) the act of eating a [wormy?] cake.
"There's no way I'm ingesin that cake, Marge! It's got bugs in it!"
There's nothing wrong with that! Just a little protein.
saaaayyyy....that looks an awful lot like my worm composter..... hmmm...I say let the worms eat cake!
that is the first time since reading this blog i've gagged for reals. ugh, blech, eww, gross, yuk and sick don't even begin to encompass on how repugnant that is. NO word exists in the english language that makes me shudder with horror and disgust..no, wait.....Javier, my ex b/f. We should name that cake Javier.
Gag, blech, gross, yuech, bleach, ick, ewwww and sick connot even befin the repugnance of that last cake. In fact I don't think a word strong enough exists in the english launguage that can make me shudder in disgust like the that wormy meatcake...wait..Javier, my ex b/f. You shou;d name that cake Javier
Please, please tell me what the last cake is or is supposed to be... I am...I'm flummoxed. Help! Jen? Help!
On a totally semi-unrelated note:), I got the Cake Wrecks book for Christmas and DEVOURED it (hee, hee, hee). No worms there...just pure deliciousness!
The worm cake is FAKE, guys! It's a very good photoshopped image from the art site Worth1000.com, entitled "Gateau Avec Worms":
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/147196/gateau-avec-worms
The original cake photograph is here:
http://i56.tinypic.com/1zxxnqp.jpg
Sorry y'all got fooled, Jen & Co. Next time, check out suspicious photos using TinEye.org. Like so:
http://bit.ly/eLyWcu
Okay, that is gross. If those worns in the last one are fake, the bakers did a freaking good job making them look real.
And to WoodElves... she did warn you.
No. Just... no.
That was actually kind of cruel, even with the BLATANT EXPLICIT warning. I still feel sort of blindsided.
Sort of... violated.
Thanks. Thanks a lot, Jenn.
Going to go toss my OWN oreos now...
If you look closely at the last cake (none of these really bothered me because I don't eat cake!) it has been photoshopped! There are no cut worms and the entries and exits of the existing worms are not blended enough to make it appear that the worms are going or coming, they are just there. I've worked with enough photos to know the difference and it was VERY FAKE!
I was going to say something like "Well, we got those nasty cakes out of the way for this year, so every thing else is going to be peachy nice" but then thought that Jen might consider that a challenge to out gross these.
Naw, she's too nice to do that to us, her loyal fans.
She is, right?
Well, it does appear that someone was having Jenn and John on, by swiping a photoshop entry:
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/147196/gateau-avec-worms
Wow! The nastiest cakes you've ever posted! Like everyone else, I'm wondering what the story is on the last one.
Blechhh, O_o that about covers it
AUGHGHGHGHHGHG!!!!!!!
At first I was all, "OMFG THAT LAST CAKE OMG WORMS EW." And then I read all the comments about it being fake, and was relieved.
However - I mean I read ALLLLLL the comments, so you guys now have me terrified I'm going to find maggots EVERYWHERE. I didn't watch the chocolate video, I couldn't bring myself to. Maggots are one of the few things that make me insta-vomit.
Oh those nearly made me swear of cake of any kind forever..but not quite. Lol what on earth are worms doing in that last cake? Did the wreckerator figure they would be someone's "tasty" surprise instead of a nice pudding filling? Ugh I would so sue them lol.
The worm slice is photoshopped. Others have posted the link to the photoshoppped version - here's the source image: http://diyhades.wordpress.com/2010/06/05/and-so-the-internet-was-surfed-a-bloody-ancient-post-from-two-months-ago/
Thank you: I was already sick with the flu when I read this and couldn't stomach any food - after this I know I'm not allone anymore - so thank you for the comfort. ;)
I think we're missing the point here. Regardless of whether the final cake was photoshopped or not, there's a freakin' mouldy strawberry and a dead fly one cake up! Now that was the one to make me gag.
WV: ooftespi - the noise I made on the way to the bathroom to hurl.
Thanks Jen! Now I can catch some friends out and watch their faces >:)
'shopped or not, that last one is heinous. (Just 'cos it isn't "real" doesn't mean you can't post it as a wreck... or gross us out with it.)
Love you guys!! Happy New Year!
wv - diffest: I think I'll go to the bathroom and let my stomach diffest itself of breakfast.
First: KittyKat, congratulations on the new addition!
OK, I have to agree with "Brittani with an i" that now I am slightly paranoid about finding maggots in pre-packaged food. No WAY am I checking out the video...and Anonymous, I can't believe that your mom wouldn't let you go back with that nasty candy bar. The store should have known about it and pulled the rest off of the shelves. (OK, so chocolate and HoHos are now ruined for me...until, at least, I forget about these stories. Which could be about the 12th of Never. I suppose that my diet should thank you all.)
Firstly, have had worm and chocolate chip cookies before and it tasted like a peanut butter- chocolate chip mix; HOWEVER, the worms were WELL "processed" (cleaned, finely chopped, ground, mixed, whatever you wanna call it). It's not bad IF YOU CAN'T TELL. Secondly, what IS that... "icing"?! A LITTLE CONTEXT, PLS DX
UnBELIEVEable!!
Have you humans never seen a piece of gagh cake? It is traditionally served with Klingon blood wine.
Worf
I'm about 99.9999999% certain that last photo is courtesy of our old friend PhotoShop.
It's still good for an "ewwwww" moment, however.
Maggot Choxie upstaged cakes by landslide.
It actually did my heart good, though. Having been diagnosed as having a soy allergy meant I could no longer have prepackaged chocolates as nearly all of them contain "soy lecithin". I already have lactose intolerance so I was avoiding most chocolate in the first.
But it does make me happy that having such annoying afflictions can keep me away from maggots.
WV: catacc!-an exclamation of having gagged and possibly thrown up a little due to gross cakes. Ex. When I looked at the cakes posted on cakewrecks this afternoon I catacced.
I have seen realistic gummy worms, but.....
Did you say the bathroom was the first door one the left, Jen? Thanks!* runs*
Interesting that the last one was photoshopped... I just thought the worms had hidden as the knife went through, then had fun exploring once there was daylight and were blocked by that sludgy icing. Kinda like the ones in my garden do when I'm digging in the flowerbeds...
And to those readers who complained about not being warned-- um, didn't you read Jen's witty comments?!
about the comments about maggots in prepared sweets. I have no idea what a HoHo is, so clearly am safe from that but... in chocolate?! "Your Honour, it was justifiable homicide" (against the manager of the manufacturer's plant). I guess that justifies sticking with the good quality stuff...
Mouldy strawberry-- the price sticker implies this is a French-speaking province or country. I'm *really* hoping it's not Quebec, or else I'm never eating across that border again! I know federal standards would never permit that cake to remain on sale...
And KittyKat-- congrats!
OK, I'll admit it, I kept scrolling down, and yes I too have now been put off chocolate cake. Nancy G.
Now that's just mean.
I'm with Brittani. None of the cakes phased me in the least but all the comments about maggots almost made me want to hurl in real life. I hate maggots. BLECH. *shudder*
My stomach was already a bit uneasy when I read this, and these cakes did not help. But I actually think the last one bothers me the least. The first one is the one that I had to look away from.
WV: neslyz - I sure could go for a neslyz Crunch.
the last cake is obviously Photoshopped. you can tell on the bottom, right-most worm. it is way to perfect, and has such perfect edges. not to mention how 2Dthey all look. i dont know about the meat frosting. that could be real; but if they pulled off the worms so nicely, im sure they could do it with the frosting.
That last one... are those real?
PLEASE tell me they're gummi worms!
Even if they are, EWWWWWW!!!!! Unless this is for Halloween, this is WRONG!
Now, I have a very weak stomach normally. However, I was able to make it through the cake pictures (taking care to spend no more than 3 seconds on the last one).
The stories about people finding... stuff in food?? Now I'm queasy, and terrified.
Well, at least I won't be gaining any weight before my wedding in a month :-P
I love the Worth1000 contests; so glad to find one entry so far afield!
I agree with the one other poster who found the moldy strawberry and dead fly to be MUCH grosser than the obviously fake worm cake. Real gross is always grosser than fake gross.
The last piece looks like a photomanip of this perfectly fine looking slice.
http://diyhades.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/chocolate-and-coffee-cake-with-cream.jpg?w=300&h=225
found on tin-eye. Honestly I was disappointed. Was looking forward to an interesting cuisine story.
the last cake looks like the filling is some sorta home insulator for heating. the womrs i have nothing to say to that