Friday, October 8, 2010

No Offense

Friday, October 8, 2010

Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone - carrot lovers, grammar Nazis, Canadians - we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh, yeah, non-offensive.

I forgot to mention that I'll be randomly choosing cakes from our archives, so there's really no telling what cakes we'll end up with. Rest assured that the commentary will be completely inoffensive, though. Promise.

Okay, here goes. Our first cake is #4,312:

"Hey-o! Are those supposed to be balloons, or, like, what?"

Huh, this inoffensive stuff is easy! Nothing to it.

Okay, next we have cake #245...

Hm. Inoffensive. Okay. "Boy, oh boy! What a fine, upstanding reputable bird that is! I salute pay respect to the baker who came up with imagined this design! That's not a peacock, is it?"

Alright, so this is kind of hard difficult. I'm sure I'll do better on the next one, though.

Cake #8,062:

[biting lip] Uh. Hang on.

[looks up e-mail]

Well, according to Stetson here, this is actually a bakery display in Colombia. [drumming fingers] Hm. Oh! I know: "Hey, was this decorated by gorillas or something?"

Yeah, I think I'm hitting my stride again. No *way* I'm going to offend anyone with that.

Next!

Cake #4,207:

[crickets chirping]


NEXT!

#793:

OH COME ON!!
Really?!?


Okay, last one. [Shaking digital dice] C'mon, inoffensive!

Cake #2,093:

I give up.


Denise, Lisa M., Stetson J., Brindy W., Karin D., & Megan C., if you're still reading this, thanks. I think.
Kelly said...

HA HA HA HA!!!! You're cracking me up!

Joy said...

*Snicker*

Anonymous said...

Ah, Jen, you've made my day yet again! Thanks for all of your hard, um, I mean "dedicated" work!

Liz said...

I really like when they mix military warfare with butter and sugar. Viva la revolution!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, well I suppose the last one could be ghosts or something...

I love this blog.

Hermite said...

LTR, FTR. Your blog is beyond a doubt one of the funniest out there. It always makes me laugh and I have never been offended by anything. Today, though, you actually had me pounding on the table and howling with laughter.

Superb.

Anonymous said...

Don't you mean "guerillas"? Fighting gorillas though would be much cooler

Steph said...

Excellent. What non-cooperative dice you must have. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, boy. Prepare to get blasted by people who find some of this post offensive.

I found it funny and shocking at times. Seriously - a swastika cake?

Keep up the good work.

Kashmir said...

I am offended at the lack of offensive content in this post!

Nah....cakewrecks.com rules.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Those last three are just... wow. And is there something wrong with me that I could just stare at the "turkey" cake and snicker all day?

Tricia L said...

Please tell me that last one is ghosts. Please!!!!!

Cyllan said...

Ahahaha, your post got me spilling coffee. Thanks for the morning laugh! XD

ania said...

Argyle on a cake! Fantastic!

(You are such good sports.)

Anonymous said...

I always feel sorry for the cake decorator...

Can you imagine someone coming in and order a swastika cake? Or a drunk baby? The decorator has to be thinking, "Hmmmmmm... Uphold my morals or pay the rent?"

As a decorator myself, I've had some customers come up with some half-cocked, I mean cockamanie, I mean RIDICULOUS ideas especially for bridal showers.

Sometimes you just have to say no.

Promise said...

@Anonymous -

Yes, fighting gorillas *are* much cooler, but STILL not as cool as a Fighting Gorilla Cake!

Linda said...

That's it. I'm offended. Well, offended that I laughed so hard I hurt my cheeks.

Das said...

Oh, this made me chuckle! As a new follower I'm deeply impressed by your self control and ninja diplomacy skills xD

I want to rearrange the pics so the badass baby is raised by the Klan cupcakes and becomes a Nazi cake decorator, then has a nervous breakdown (represented by the abstract balloons cake,) joins the Colombian militia and grows into an upstanding guerrilla who enjoys the occasional big brown (pea)cock on his days off.

It's a movie waiting to happen!

Fluffy Cow said...

As soon as I quit laughing, I might be able to figure out if I'm offended or not.

Margaret said...

I'm not going to search for pictures to check this while I'm at work, but isn't the swastika the wrong way round?

If so, is is subtle subversion of the customer's order or inadvertent wreck?

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw once - a t-shirt guaranteed to offend someone. Nuke the Gay Baby Whales for Jesus. Yep, you read it right. Not that I'm approving of it, but the inclusiveness provides a lot of humor...

Great Aunt Maude said...

Were those cupcakes served at the annual "White No-Iron Percale Formal" perchance?

Lucky Wife/Bookaholic said...

That. Was. Awesome.

The Boob Nazi said...

You lost your not-being-offensive-ness with "grammar nazi" ha.

I can't believe someone would have that second to last cake!?!

Kelly said...

Is that swastika backwards? I think it is.** Does that mean they don't really mean the hatred?

Keep up the stellar comedy Jen!



**I'm a history major, not a klan member. That's the only way I know what it's supposed to look like. :)

Chy said...

Okay, useless trivia time! So the funny thing with the swastika cake is that if it really was meant to be a swastika they wrecked it... cause the way it's placed is actually the symbol for Buddhism, very peaceful and loving and not at all offensive. I guess the question is... what part of the world did that cake originate from?
Which makes it more funny!
Love the blog!

Gween said...

With so much in-offensive material in one post it's a wonder you didn't strain something.
I hope you're at least taking a nap after that!

Stephen the Gorilla said...

I am a gorilla and I am offended you don't think we can decorate cakes well.

If I could find an attorney to represent jungle mammals I would sue you. As I am not interested in violent backlash, you will not be finding a pack of cheetahs waiting in your shower, either.

Stella said...

awh, you included the turkey for the Canadians because it's our Thanksgiving this weekend!! Thanks!

Wendy P said...

A pumpkin patch?

A very proud male turkey and exploded frogs?

Don't know what to say about the baby with beer and a gun, except that may be how he was conceived?

That Nazi cake is so sad. Maybe it has a file in it and was made for an inmate?

I know Halloween is coming, but those ghostly cupcakes should probably be sold as Kluxcakes.

Shana said...

Ok everyone, settle down, we don't want our beloved CW to become flaccid, urrr um boring... yeah, boring. Today's post was a win for the fantastic duo that is Jen and John!

H.J.D said...

There are no words. There is only more vodka.

Natalie said...

The first one has to be a pumpkin patch.. Right??

I am choosing to believe that the baby with the beer bottles and a gun was a groom's cake...for a 4th of July wedding..for a Scottish-American groom..
I mean men are all babies, right? Oh, sorry, that was probably offensive.

AdamOndi said...

I particularly enjoy that the KKKupkakes are chocolate.

mimi said...

Wow. Quotes make everything better.

Multicolored "balloons".
A "turkey".
No comment on the Columbia cake...
"Baby" drinking "beer".
It's a "Buddhist" Symbol.
Those are "ghosts".

See, now nothing can be seen as "offensive".

Donna said...

Anyone who is offended probably needs to be. Nuf Said.

True hilarity for a Friday! :)

Brooke said...

Possibly my favorite post ever.

Moggypie said...

Hey! "Hm" is spelled with two 'm's or don't you know that? It's "hmm"! I'm offended now! Gr! I mean, grr! Off I go in a hufff. I mean, huff.

Anonymous said...

In defense...that's not a Nazi Swastika.
There are a ton of swatika's, most are not evil. =)

Kelly Hills said...

Actually Margaret/Kelly/Chy, the swastika and sauvastika are both common symbols in Eastern religions in general, not just Buddhism. The swastika is pretty commonly used in association with Kuan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy and a reincarnation of the boddhisattva of compassion.

From a Nazi sympathizer POV, yeah, it would be a wreck, since the "left-facing" form is the sauvastika.

However, the symbols themselves have basically the same meaning in Eastern religions, and are swapped (left or right facing) more for balance issues than meaning issues. (Religion-dependent, of course - in Hinduism it's two different aspects of Vishnu, while in Buddhism it's a tantric representation of the universal mantra AUM, and so forth.)

...you learn these things fast when you're a pale blonde Buddhist. ;-)

Jenzilla said...

I love it and the heck with those that have no sense of humor, we don't need'em! And I would like to apologize for the Canadians with no sense of haha it's usually one of our better traits. Keep up the good work!

Terrrs-uh said...

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you made my day and it's only 11:00 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hilarious stuff :D

Kami said...

Dear Jen,

I love you. Never, never change. I don't know where I'd get my daily laugh otherwise.

BengalBasset said...

Krazy Klan Kupcakes! (Or maybe ghosts of the Coneheads? )

Kelly said...

Hey Kelly Hills! Thanks for the clarification on the swastika symbol, or whatever it is.
I am kinda wondering though, if it's not supposed to be a nazi symbol, why is it in a white circle on a red background?

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hola,

The Nazi cake, and it is a Nazi cake, was made for the cast of Cabaret.

Yupperdoodles.

john

Anonymous said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

This is anonymous because I'm too lazy to "Choose an identity"!

Anonymous said...

Hey I'm Canadian and I found this post hilarious! I'm sorry some of my fellow citizens are so sensitive. Lighten up fellow Canucks!

Anonymous said...

Extra hilarous this morning! I thank you, my coffee-covered keyboard.. not so much!

Classic Steve said...

Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with the ghosts until reading these comments.

~beth~~artist~writer~dreamer~ said...

ROFLMAO....the peacock was the best one yet! No the Viva Columbia...but you need a pot plant in there..or wait...the kkk cup cakes...geeze what are these people thinking...what am I thinking?

elissa said...

The one with the baby makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't mind the cupcakes so much--I saw them as ghosts first and had to look for a minute before I could figure out why they might be offensive, except for the humongous amount of icing.

Tamara Marnell said...

And now, a song:

"Casper, the bigot ghost,
The lynch-happy ghost you knooooow,
Though minorities might
Look at him with fright,
White supremacists love him so!"

I'm sure my lyrics didn't offend anyone, either.

Danger Boy said...

Awesome post. You rock as always!

Maureen said...

Awesome! Funny! Thank you once again for brining humor and smiles into my life.

Anonymous said...

Drunken baby topper aside, I *love* the argyle pattern on the bottom tier of that cake!

Kat said...

The offensiveness is part of the charm :) Just like Family Guy. Don't change!!

Rhubarb said...

People who have nothing better to do with their time than get offended by a wrecked-cake blog really need to eat some sugar or something and get a leif. Yes. A leif. Eriksson, Davidsen, any of 'em, really.

Gary said...

It's the cupcake-k-k.

smile politely said...

Excuse me, pardon me for interrupting, I couldn't help notice that my fellow Canadians were apologising for their fellow Canadians with no sense of humour. (Please not that I have just proved myself to be Canadian by the "u" in humour.

Connie Moreno said...

Ya...I can't think of anything either!

Kelly Hills said...

Kelly, that's why I said it was a wreck from a Nazi POV - the swastika was a sauvastika. I just clarified the rest cuz uh, I'm pedantic? :-)

(Altho having it for the cast of Cabaret is hilarious - too bad it was the wrong way!)

Abby Normal said...

“SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj”

As one of thousands of Americans who suffer from narcolepsy, I’m am highly offended by the casual way yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

sarahswmbo@gmail.com said...

Don't let the dedicated clan, er, group of nay-sayers stop your commentary. You're a straight shooter, er, talker when it comes to nailing, um, identifying outrageous cakes. :-D

Jennifer said...

So. Funny.

The commentary on the turkey cake really had me cracking up. And the Klan-kakes, seriously, who would make that and think, "YEP, THAT'LL WORK." Or, since they're a wreckerator, maybe they're thinking, "Ep, that"ll wrk all in caps"

Jen, you are positively hilarious, even if someone else gets offended.

Heather D. said...

Hilarious! Sad to hear about people being offended. I think the non-offended crowd is a lot bigger than the offended crowd. And heck, it's your blog do what you want and if someone doesn't like it then they don't have to read it! I like all your posts and I even make sure my daughter gets to see some too, she loves your site! (she's 3)

Stacey@StuffbyStace said...

Who knew that Nazis liked cake???

I can see it now...

Nazi Guard: "Fuhrer, what would you like for dessert?"

Hitler: "Get me a raspberry cake with lemon curd filling and vanilla meringue buttercream, and put a big swastika on the top...NOW!"

yeesh!

Aliza said...

As a Canadian who values good grammar and appreciates the crunch of carrots, I'm offended that you would think I would be offended :)

Not quite sure what the squiggle disk lollipop's supposed to be, but it wasn't too horrible (and was probably rather tasty) until it started leaching.

Is the turkey/peacock shedding springles, or are it's droppings multicoloured? If so, no wonder it's eyes are so huge in shock!!

So, guerillas like cake too. Not sure if the term "viva" applies with that kind of weaponry. Unless those soldiers are soldiers of cupid and they shoot love bullets???

Beautifully done cake, but if the wedding came after a drunken conception of a baby, shouldn't that be a shotgun, not a handgun? (At least the decorator didn't have the baby drinking from *those* bottles... alcohol's a teratogen, and the brain isn't fully developed until around about age 4)

And for those pondering the swastika, I think the colouring of the cake (red & black) belies the possibility that it has anything to do with the original (and peaceful) meaning of the symbol. Perhaps the decorator was trying to undermine the message... or else the cake is just further evidence of the ignorance of bigots.

If the cupcakes were photographed at Hallowe'en, they're just cute ghosts. If it's the same bakery that did the swastika, then they're not that innocent (cue soundtrack)

VPIReiner said...

LOL!!!!! WAY too funny! How great to end the week on such a high note! Keep it up, Jen (and John!).

BTW, I'm surprised that the bakers actually made the swastika cake. There is a bakery near where I grew up who refused to make a cake with Hitler on it... check out the article... "Poor kids" is all I have to say.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28269290/

Tracibub said...

I'm glad I am a stay at home mom because I would've been removed from the office from laughing to hard if I were at work. What a fabulous post for today!! Excellent use of inoffensive verbiage!

The swastika cake is a botched Nazi flag. Yes, the spines go the wrong way, but the cake is red with a white circle with the emblem upon it...thus the replica of the flag.

Sherri said...

Awww, go on, be offensive, please! People have to have SOMETHING to complain about! I mean, if you go all correct and careful, you'll be depriving someone of an opportunity to indulge his/her only talent!

Besides, a Wrecked Cake is already offensive, so you're starting in a hole.

Is it just coincidence that my CAPTCHA word is "Brateri"?

Little Lovables said...

srsly, some of the best commentary I've seen yet, on the blog AND the comments :)

Laura P. said...

ok, so while I don't get the whole concept of the drunk baby cake, I am totally digging that little gun! the details are superb! if they could blow that up into like a 8" by 8" size or so, I would love that on my birthday cake in a couple weeks! would absolutely make my day!

hilarious post, as usual. all you offended people? get a life.

Angie said...

TOTAL win. Total.

Anonymous said...

Were those ghosts or little KKKs on the cupcakes?

Kelly said...

Kelly Hills--
I'm kinda wondering if the wreckerator messed up on purpose?! Like not knowing what it was for and decided to do it backwards?
Maybe I'm reading too much into it...

I'm sorry, but if I were in Cabaret I would have picked a different design for the cake. One that doesn't give a baker nightmares.

KellyGrrl said...

I love it... I am literally cracking up at my desk... People are looking. hahahahahahaha

Craig said...

#1 I know, those are nerve cells. The red ones are the most active. Although that doesn't explain what is going on in the upper left area, where something seems to have been spilled... Eww.

#2 The Bevis Bakery strikes again.

#3 So Colombia is a land of flaming hills, giant soldiers and palm trees covered in snow? What the wreck?

#4 The wreck is the concept. As much fun as it is to [poke gentle fun] at wreckerators -- er, I mean, decorators -- sometimes the blame, er, error in judgment lies elsewhere. Newspeak is a very difficult language to master.

#5 The reversal was probably intentional. It gets the reference across without itself being a problem. Clever.

#6 To paraphrase Freud, sometimes a ghost is just a ghost.

I'm afraid, though, that today's post may be seen as patronizing by the easily-offended community. It isn't enough to treat everyone exactly the same -- we must treat everyone exactly the same in a way that makes them feel special. I hope that didn't make sense...

gamingkitty said...

Kelly -- according to the documentary I was watching on DVD the other night, the Nazis were not consistent on their swastika-orientation. I've seen photos of Nazi tanks with this version painted on them.

Wall Stickers said...

I just can't believe someone would put a swastika on a cake... and that someone would actually WANT it! *facepalm

shadow said...

I think you've found yourself a new Spaceship Earth, Jen. :D

WV: featio. I just... no. No, I can't do it.

Karin said...

I was thinking maybe the turkey cake was an ode to turkey breasts? That's what I saw anyway.

Teresa said...

OMG, I am crying I am laughing so hard.

Anonymous said...

Most. awesome. post. ever!!!1!

At least I finally know an answer to a question that has puzzled me for eons: Nazis like cake too.

How someone can like cake and do the things they did is the next unanswerable question ...

Anonymous said...

Jaw dropping and not closing for five minutes. Those "ghosts" are obviously the work of someone with no clue....

Galiandy3941 said...

I find it offensive that you're trying so hard not to offend me. Are you trying to say I'm some kind of wuss who can't handle stronger comments?! LOL!!! I loved this.

kayk said...

I'm astounded (though not offended) at the ratio of frosting to cake on those cupcakes....

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! The placement of the "ghost" cupcakes was perfect...I mean terrible. Though the Nazi cake is totally disturbing at least I know the cupcakes were a woopsie.

Rebecca Reece said...

HA! One of the funniest blogs I've come across in a long time! Subscribing now...
~RR

saradickens said...

The turkey cake description may just be your finest ever, in the past, present, OR future. I died laughing.

Anonymous said...

Funniest.post.ever. I think I might have peed in my pants had I not made a pit stop in the little girls' room right before I logged on.

Wait, was that offensive?

The commentary for the "turkey" cake was the funniest thing I've ever seen, although the KKK Ghost Cupcakes were pretty funny. Hmm. (or hm) -- Ghosts of KKK members?

Anonymous said...

I think you should have Satire Cake Day and see how each country could try to top the Colombia "gorilla" cake. Oh, I forgot, they are almost all good saatires, but I mean really putting out that "nationalism" This was one of the best posts - still LOL. And I LOVED the turkey cake. It's just like the turkey pictures of my childhood. I want one. Norine

The Black Dog said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Only you could make trying to be boring utterly hilarious.

Lessa said...

The only thing that was offended was my sense of good taste. A Swastika cake?!? Seriously?!

Nicole said...

Do you think it's possible that those last 3 cakes were at the same event? Love it!!

elissa said...

@Craig:

May I stea-- I mean borrow this?

"It isn't enough to treat everyone exactly the same -- we must treat everyone exactly the same in a way that makes them feel special."

Priceless.

kmawesome said...

@DAS
LOVE the new order and fabulous story that goes with it....thanks for the turkey, will be thinking of it all this weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving (Canadian Style)!

Nahhh said...

Judging by the wet spot on the balloon cake, it's a tribute to that commercial for incontinence medication.

Andy said...

Winter.

jilly-bear said...

Actually the "Swastika cake" isn't - it's bending the wrong way. That is actually an old symbol of good luck. But yeah, most folks don't know that and will think its something else.

I thought the little ghosts were cute - pointy heads and all. *snicker*

Love this blog!

Protojew62 said...

The Nazi cake IS offensive~can't believe any reputable baker would agree to that!
The Turkey/Peacock/Penis with feathers cake was VERY..uh..."interesting!"
Love love LOVE your website!

MsChanda said...

too freakin funny....people are crazy....I look forward to looking at these...I figure if you don't know what you are doing yet you do it anyway for people to see, then it deserves to be laughed at....

Wes said...

The Swastika cake is okay. Its not tilted. Straight up and down its an old symbol for good luck.

Miss Mina said...

I am SOOOO OFFENDED!!

You know...

OFF-ENDED as in turned on my end...

...because I fell OFF my chair LAUGHING!

Jen, I know you've read this a thousand times already I'm sure, but don't change, don't stress the 3 people that decided they didn't want to laugh daily anymore, their loss. I mean, really, 3 people compared to the hundreds-NO-THOUSANDS who read your blog. You have a disclaimer, if they can't read it, then.. they...are..em.. illiterate? yea. That's it.

KEEP EM COMING!

P.S: Is it just me or did anyone else look at the columbia cake and go "What? That flame thing coming out from between the guys legs?" and didn't blink at the fact it's a Guerrilla cake?

WV: Cente - I cente chair flying when I was off-ended laughing at your post!
Miss Mina

http://velcrowallpaper.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I think I've been hypnotized by the turkey/peafowl cake. Can't seem to look away...

Daisy said...

There's a bakery near me called "Kathy's Kreative Kakes." I wonder if they made those cupcakes?

(Excuse me, kupkakes.)

Jeff said...

How can you post Mel Brooks themed wrecks without offending someone? The Nazi flag would have been the perfect cake for the cast party for The Producers, and the ghosts cup cakes make me think of that scene in Blazing Saddles where Sheriff Bart and the Waco Kid infiltrate Hedley Lamar's recruitment line.

I was once in the tech crew for a community theatre production of The Sound Of Music at the local Jewish Center. Come intermission, all the smokers of the cast rushed outside for a cigarette. Nothing like seeing hoardes of nuns and nazis catching a smoke outside the Jewish center.

D.B. Echo said...

"Nein, you dumbkopf! Mein swastika is the wrong way around!"

...or maybe that was just a throwing-star design for a ninja-themed birthday.

Bluefairy said...

The Swastika cake is ok, as long as the buyers got what they wanted. It's actually done pretty well. In fact, except for the first two cakes, all the other ones are rather fine. Sure, the cakes' themes might seem in poor taste, but that's not the baker's fault.

R. said...

This post is offensive to narcoleptics. Especially dyslexic neo-Nazi Canadian narcoleptics. Probably not your core demographic.

Jenniffer said...

Why are you trying SO hard not to offend anyone? I find that very offensive!! ;)

Anonymous said...

I understand why we can't offend the birds (they can be mean!), but why can't we offend guerrillas again?

Anonymous said...

Dear Jen, John and company,

Please hire Das.

The post was funny...but I about cried when I read it again through Das's eyes.

Wreck on!

JennyF said...

That was fabulous. Dying laughing. Thanks for a great post!

Cutelilsnot said...

o. ma. gawd. A turkey with man-boobs.

Anonymous said...

This was an hilarious post, that had me in stitches after a long, hard (oops, sorry), day.
I am amazed that it seems not to have occurred to anyone other than me that the picture of the swastika cake was merely posted backwards?

Keep up the fun and games, guys!
Even the comments are uplifting oops, sorry again. I especially like the one about the "swastiks-orientation" Too cute!

Anonymous said...

As Ricky Nelson once sang in "Garden Party", "...you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself"... words to live by. Especially in the CakeWrecking blogging business.

Wreck on! I've yet to be offended by ANYthing you've posted.

Merry from Annie's Book Stop

WV: debes - Jen and John have debes blog on the interwebs!

Anonymous said...

On the swastika, in that orientation (fits in a square, not a diamond) it is the symbol Hitler TOOK the swastika from -- the Chinese symbol for power. He ruined it, but that symbol was absolutely harmless and benign before he did. It remains innocuous in Chinese ancient cultural themes but probably doesn't belong on a cake because of misinterpretation.

Rooh said...

As a Canadian, I'm offended!

Kidding :)

You did that post really well - I kept smiling a's they got harder to keep PC.

Have a great weekend ...

Can't See Sheep said...

I'm Canadian & this site is too much fun to be offended about any of it. What a great post, Nazis, drunk babies & little KKK ghosties, hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, love it!

Aliza said...

@Jeff-- nuns and nazis outside a JCC? love the mental image. Thanks for the guffaw.

@NAS -- now that's a brilliant ordering of the cakes for a conventional CW story line (ie if Jen wasn't trying to not offend they hypersensitive readers out there who've probably already left).

Love how on this blog, so many people know about the origins of the swastika, can tell it wasn't oriented correctly on the cake, and can launch into a debate about whether that was an error or not-- all without a single questionable hint of an opinion (ditto for the ghost/KKK cupcakes, which I suspect are meringues-- best comment there is about the cupcakes being chocolate)

Amanda said...

Choking... on... laughter...

Elizabeth said...

I love this blog and it's had me LOL more than once, but this time I got a guffaw out of Wendy P's term of "Kluxcakes." AHAHAHAHA!!!

Cynthia said...

I don't know who made the swastika cake, but was anyone else reminded of the family who named their child "Adolph Hitler Lastname" and couldn't find a bakery that would make him a birthday cake?

Who "saved" the day? Oh yes, the source of all things Klassy...WalMart!

WV = quipbola

Jen was affected by a severe quipbola infection and it stole all of her usual wit.

Wolverine Girl said...

I had to laugh at the KKK cakes. The shops have started stocking Christmas decorations, and I saw som white porcelain Santa Clauses with hats, sans bobbles, that stood straight up. First time I've ever seen Klansmorons in Australia :D

@Shadow and all the sauvastika people - it's a swavastepcot.

@Daisy - does she make KupKake Kakes?

@Jen and John - you guys are awesome, brilliant, funny, and people who are that easily offended have no business being on teh interwebs in the first place. They probably get their knickers in a knot at the bad spelling on icanhascheezburger. They'll probably be terribly upset at my use of the word "knickers." Try not to let them get to you, so many of us love you.

Amy said...

I find this post highly insulting to heritage turkey breeders. Anyone can see that cake #245 is clearly not a peafowl, but an adolescent broad-breasted bronze tom. As if the public does not already have disastrous misconceptions about these fascinating creatures, now we must contend with ignorance of the cake and icing variety. Shame on you and your tasty, tasty propaganda.



...Did I win an internets?

Freya said...

you *totally* just offended narcoleptics everywhere! shame on you! That was hilarious...
AGAIN.

Anonymous said...

Cake # 4,207 -- just asking... is that blood on the floor behind the baby beer bottle pistol?

btw - love the 'difficult' turkey.

~~Di

Jennifer said...

So, the ones in the last photo are going to be made into a KKK CCC?

tiny purple elephant said...

ugh.. why is the first one wet...

Anonymous said...

Wtf??

Babies, booze, handguns and ARGYLE!! How offensive can you get- do you know how many argyles died to make that cake! Irresponsible- that’s what you are!!!


BTW, was this “the best defense is no offense” thinking on your part??

-Barbara Anne


OMG- my verification word is "pulsenag" (as in: if you have a pulse nag Jen & John)

Anonymous said...

The pedant in me says that there is a difference between ghost cakes and KKK cakes: ghosties have a cute little curl on their quiff. At least, according to Ghostbusters they do...

She (yes, the pedant is a she) also says to Andy at 3.16pm: Did the lack of a "u" html tag prevent you from putting in the underline? Or were you going for the even more minimalist version, the "single full stop"?

Hopefully she's out of my system now. Thankyou for another hilarious post!

BnE's Mommy said...

I so needed a good laugh!

Mary said...

LOL that was funny as heck.

The Wildman said...

Canadians don't get offended...and if we do, we apologize

MissRon said...

I can't stop laughing. The peacock one is so funny! Oh man, please please please don't ever change! :-D

p.s. wonder if the baker doing the nazi cake wrecked it on purpose making the arms face to the left instead of the right?

thisisCaketown said...

Nazi cake deserves to be wrecked. They should of added airbrushing and sprinkles and some random balloons.

Katie said...

@WolverineGirl-it's NOT a swavastepcot, that's just what tourists call it. It's actual NAME is Swavesteship Earth.

Anonymous said...

oh my goodness!! i had to throw my head back laughing at the last one

N-JO said...

My husband, on seeing the turkey, said "gee, when I was in school, they had us use our hand for the outline..."

Arlene said...

Oh my goodness.. I cannot stop laughing..though I am wondering who the heck orders a swastika cake???? Oh don't answer.. I am too afraid to know.. even wreckerators wreck offensive things this is good to know..

Malweth said...

The swastika cake is really the least offensive.

As others have mentioned, it is a Buddhist symbol (the nazi swastika is mirrored and rotated). Red is a Chinese symbol for good fortune. (The white is probably for contrast).

I don't think we should expect an ancient symbol to be abandoned because of its one perversion.

Julia said...

The bird on cake #245 is clearly the rare and beautiful poocock.

WV "ressess": after viewing these abominations I must have a ressess to recover...

Karenlibrarian said...

I was actually asked once to put a swastika on a cake! I worked at a hotel and the head chef was Swiss. He wanted a cake for Hitler's birthday. I am not making this up. (He claimed it was for a joke). I refused so my boss had to do it. She said how could I be offended, since I wasn't Jewish? Wish I'd complained to HR.

Kathleen said...

hahahaha - loving it! All are great (as usual)but the best, I have to say, is your ever-so-careful description of the turkey.

Andrea said...

I think this might the funniest thing I have ever read! AWesome!

Anonymous said...

Your website is my all time favorite! YOU ARE SO WITTY! Keep up the great work :)

Allie said...

This Canadian approves of this post. Happy Almost-Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians!

Melyssa said...

I was reading this while watching Carlos Mencia who, as I'm sure you are well aware, is an equal opportunity offender. He picks at EVERYONE! So... I vote you go back to your normal commentary and if people can't handle it, they can quit reading. I love you! Keep it up.

Tinatatertoes said...

My husband looked at the last one and said, "Oh. KlupKlakes," which made me snicker. Since I'm Jewish, and he's Black, this post had something for everyone. This blog often makes my day. :)

Anonymous said...

The last one is clearly kids dressing up for Halloween as ghosts.
And the one before that has the counterclockwise version (sewastika) not the offensive (to non-East-Indians) swastika. So both are blatantly inoffensive.
Harmod Jorgensson

Pamela said...

The baby is Baby New Year. I didn't read all the comments so I don't know if anyone figured that one out. In Texas, at least, people shoot off their guns at midnight on Jan 1st, and I assume the empty beer bottles are a nod to the hangover most folks have on the New Years Day. I'm a cake decorator (most fun job ever!), so I spend a lot of time trying to decifer weird ideas, symbols wanted, and terrible sketches from customers. I think the Swastika was reversed as a protest that will undoubtably go right over the customer's head.

Anonymous said...

Tasty, tasty propaganda..

FTW!

Kim in ID
200 miles south of Canada and totally not offended in the least. ;)

Anonymous said...

Not surprisingly, the swastika cake was made by an ignorant decorator... it is drawn backwards (the arms should face right). I only know this from having to do a lengthy paper on use of symbols during wartime efforts and a quick wikipedia check.

TheCakeChick said...

LOL! That is so non-offensive! Haha! I love your blog!

Corri Anne said...

Perhaps cake #1 is for a fertility lab tech...after all...it does look like a festive take on little swimmers under a microscope. It should read...
Happy Birthday...good job getting so many women pregnant!

And with the "turkey" cake...All I saw at first was the huge knockers on that bird...it was only after looking at the caption that I realized it was standing at attention...and those were a more southern set of twins :-)

wv: aphose...At first sight I thought it was a peacock...but it turned out to be a phose.

Anonymous said...

Ghosts--- ghosts-- maybe they're ghosts?

Anonymous said...

Vinaigrette Girl here.

Cake number one is surely a neurological mapping cake, designed to encourage someone revising for HumBio 3A, and as such should be encouraged. (I refer you to "It's Too Late To Apoptize" and other smash bio-hits for further clarity...)

Or maybe it's Oliver Sacks's birthday cake. Either way.

Cupcakes Lady said...

A Nazi cake, wonder what the filling was?! Infact i dont want to know. Some people. ;0 x

linkcorreon said...

What are the odds that the swastika cake is kosher?

Anonymous said...

They're... ghosts... of... well, no, not CHRISTMAS past per se, but.... :s

Joy said...

The "swastika" is actually the indian symbol for rolling waters. With the border on the cake I'm thinking maybe that was what they wanted and didn't intend to have a Nazi celebration. Just my $.02 worth.

Romeo said...

You lost "in-offensive" at "Grammar Nazis". LOLXDROFLWTIME!