Monday, July 26, 2010

Conventional Wisdom

Monday, July 26, 2010

It's possible that I just spent the last four days relentlessly Twitter-stalking everyone at San Diego Comic Con. Possible. You can't prove it. What do you mean, when did I shower last? I'm going for an authentic experience here! Gimmie back my Funyuns.

Anyway, coming down off a convention high - even one acquired vicariously through social networking sites - requires a gradual withdrawal. Yesterday's Sweets helped a little, but really, they were just too good. I need a visual sucker punch to knock me back into reality, you know?


Theeere it is.


Convention...high...evaporating....


And for that final cold blast of reality, this should fit the Bill:

"Oh nooooo!"


I could probably end there, but frankly, this is too much fun.


First rule of cons: always pick a costume that's size-appropriate:

This also applies with cake kits.


Second rule of cons: a lone mask does not a costume make.

Come to think of it, that *also* applies to cakes. And cookies.


Third rule of cons: Lace is never intimidating.

"Join me, Luke, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and...what? What's so funny? Why are you laughing?

"Is it the doily? It is, isn't it? Hutt nuts, I told Palpatine no one would take me seriously in this thing."


And finally, the Na'vi Nazis are here to show us what happens when you mix your sci-fi references:


See, I told them not to open that ark. [shudder] Blech.


Thanks, Deborah, Laux, Shawn F., Tharry, Lizzy S., Julie Anne D., & Shanell C.! See y'all at Dragon*Con. ;)

Note from john: The first cake is supposed to be Iron Man. We think. Most likely. Probably. Okay I'm like 63% sure.

Nappy Blob Blob Katelynn!

glitzee76 said...

What is that first...thing...supposed to be, anyway?

Tricia L said...

Oh ... my ....

Is it any wonder why the first one is marked down to $8.33? Until I enlarged it (twice) I had no idea that it was Ironman. Actually, I had no idea it was anything.

And I believe that is Pooh rather than Mr. Bill. Why Pooh was in a galaxy far, far away, I have no idea.

Donkaloosa said...

What in the hell is that first cake supposed to be??? I don't even want to try guessing since I'll surely be way, way off.

Tyree said...

The last one's going to give me nightmares. *shudder*

JRM said...

Putting Mr. Bill in carbonite had to be deliberate, but why? And if it wasn't deliberate...*shudder*

Kelly said...

Darth Vader with lace? HILARIOUS. Maybe it was done to insult the dark side.

I personally thought the Han Solo attempt was cute . . . like a cartoon homage or something. Yeah, something like that. He's still a little cute.

Anonymous said...

The sign over the left head in the last one says it all!

Sharon said...

The first cake I thought was a basketball jersey and I still have no clue what it's SUPPOSE to be, although I'm guessing something sci-fi.

Poor Han, as Mr. Bill. If the wreckerator was not a sculptor, then they should have declined the order.

Darth looks so sad....

Sharon's Edible Art

Heather said...

That last one is downright scary!

Suzanne said...

Ironman? My first thought was "BACON"!!

Love the Mr. Bill reference. I'll have to dig out my old VHS tape of Mr. Bill classics today.

Becky said...

I like the Yoda cake, I think its really cute!

1Kathleen said...

I NEED to know what happened to the complexion of the Walrus in the next to last cake? Did he eat something that turned his skin that color?

Beccy said...

I have been reading Cake Wrecks too long; I guessed the first one was Iron Man! No thanks to any mad skills on the part of the wreckorator.

Dawn Marie C said...

I actually really like the Mr.Bill in Carbonite...

Kellie Jensen said...

the signs above the Na'vi heads are a little comical too.
It took me almost a full minute to realize that first blood spattered scrap of skin was supposed to be iron man.

stuckinmypedals said...

That first one is disturbing, like makes my stomach queasy kind of disturbing. It's really supposed to be Iron Man? Is this one of those pictures you have to stare at for a really long time until the image emerges?

whizkidforte said...

I dig the "corpulent, small belly badges Care Bears" CCC, although almost all CCC's make you cringe.

Anonymous said...

Oh my.

OMG!! Iron Man... wow, um wow. Like, you sure it's not a really bad wife-beater torso?

Seriously, I think Yoda isn't bad. Not for what is usually here....

LOVE the Mr. Bill reference... but the two little bubbles down under his 'feet'? He's sooo cute in carbonite - and I know they never did do that to him - think it's time for a retro show.

I seriously had to double take the Care Bears. Thought those were the nose pieces. HA! Nose pieces, under those eye blobs... scare the little kiddies with Care Bear nightmares. "Mommy, the evil eyed blob cake ate all but my Love-a-lot Bear's face!"

Poor wittle Batman. Poor wittle white Batman.

Sweet conversation with Darth. I can hear it in my head. But why does it sound like Rick Moranis?

~~Di

WV- fusled. I'm just so fusled by these CCC things - WHAT are they????

Catherine said...

I think Darth Vader mated with a St. Bernard and the lace cake is their child.

Carey said...

I thought the first one was a slab of meat... I have to agree with anonymous- the sign over the left head in the last photo says it all!

Carey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Boob Nazi said...

First one: Iron Man?!?

Christy said...

Oooohhhhhhhhhh iron man...

I thought it was a flesh colored bathing suit on a peice of raw meat. I didn't get it at all.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Mr. Bill in Carbonite is a wreck. I think it's adorable...if it was on purpose.

Candace said...

Hilarious! As usual. Aboslutely loved the star wars ones... Yoda was gray, not green, and an almost chibi Han Solo in pewter. Nice. And poor darth vader... Doily Darth.

That first one too... I'm gonna GUESS Iron Man?

off topic question... Ever watch the British show, The IT Crowd? Seems like your kind of humor, and one of the main characters is named Jen. You can netflix it. :)

Churndash said...

After I decided it probably wasn't a wife-beater t-shirt, I decided the first one was The Face of Bo from Dr. Who.

Ironman? really?

Anonymous said...

Yes, give us a clue as to what the first one could possibly be. My first impression was that of some sort of coffin. Hmmmm, that last ruffle-framed image looked like a decomposing sea lion. In all, a rather morbid post, guys, (snort, snigger) Norine

fembot said...

The Mr. Bill one has to be deliberate, surely? Tell me it's deliberate, please.

(If it is, it's hella cute.)

NiteNurse said...

IRON MAN??? Not Likely.





That first one is definitely balloon weiner dogs gone horribly, horribly wrong.



Terrell

Meredith Travels said...

First cake- DEFINITELY bacon!

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Word. That first one. Is that..... it couldnt be.... bacon? UG! Iron Man? Puleeze! And does anyone else find the aisle signs over the last two cake heads funny?

Anonymous said...

My first impression on the first one was "slab of meat", but I gave it some scrutiny before moving on. I had decided it was a swimsuit on a tanorexic torso before reading the iron man clue. Wow...

Isolder74 said...

#1 looks like a grinder cranking out sausages to me, John....rather then anything resembling Iron Man.

Remember, come to the Lightside we have real cupcakes!

Squidley said...

I honestly thought the first one was a Silence of the Lambs cake... It puts the lotion on its skin... Horrifying.

KB said...

So, I was pretty sure that first one was Jar-Jar Binks with his eyes shut, until I saw the Iron Man things placed to the side, you know, for reference...

Bryan said...

Did anyone else think that the last picture was a cross between the movies Avatar and Saw?

WV: bilbollo - a new virus you will contract if you eat those two scary, blue cakes.

Larissa said...

On what planet is that first mess Iron Man?

Anonymous said...

Did anyone other than me read #4 intially as cake "tits"? Which amazingly seemed to fit.

Jenifer said...

I believe the Han Solo in carbonite is from Lego Star Wars, and I kinda like it. My sons play the game on the Wii all the time.

WV: lumshr: I'm "lumshr" what the wreckreators was smoking when s/he made the ridiculously oblong Iron Man face cake.

Anonymous said...

I think my favorite part is the "baking nuts" sign in the background of the last picture. I didn't realize that you had to label the employees.

Mama Martinez said...

Oh! Iron Man! I though it was a flesh-colored nursing bathing suit and the white lines were slits for, well, the nursing part.

EN said...

Should I worry more that I did know instantly that the first one was supposed to be Iron Man?

Palida said...

The first one actually reminded me a bit of Lady Cassandra.

Craig said...

#1 At last, documentary evidence that bacon does NOT improve everything. Say it isn't so!

Moving swiftly on, two earless, mutant bunny-things with faces for noses. As if that wasn't creepy enough, check laser-eyes on the right. "We care -- about your nightmares!" Do cake kits come with instructions? Pictures? Warning labels?

Doily Boy is hysterical. "Come over to the grey side, Luke -- I think we can really spruce this place up!"

Between the blue skin (yes, I know it is supposed to be) and the bulging eyes, those two heads look like they were asphyxiated prior to...winding up where they are. Or maybe some thoughtless person let them see a mirror. Cake, anyone?

Green said...

While Churndash thought the first one looked like the head of Bo from Dr. Who I think it looks like Cassandra, the last human from the first? second? episode of the refurbished series.

GrnEyes said...

Wow, a CCC (patooie!) attempt at Iron Man *SAD*

Yoda's misshapen head/face on top of a poo pile with a straw stuck in it

Mr. Bill (or his evil twin?) encased in something that looks like a laminating project gone wrong

What to say about the Care Bears? Another childhood memory destroyed by creepy eyes and frosting that looks like it was applied with a fork

A Batman mask on a poorly iced sugar cookie. Wow. Nuff said.

Oh Darth, you look like a black Lhaso Apso with a frilly collar! So pretty! :)

May said...

"Hutt nuts"???

SO stealing that!

Jamie said...

I realize the first one is supposed to be Ironman, but it looks like a human colon.

Lynn said...

I lost half my morning reading the reports from Comic Con. I'm blurry eyed and I think so were some of the people who made these cakes. You can still get passes for Dragon*Con in Atlanta. Come down, sign some books, see the parade. Joss Wedon might not be there, but Stan Lee will and two city blocks of storm troopers just for starters

Anonymous said...

Just showed my sci-fi loving husband this post . . . shudder we did at Yoda with light saber for arms and laugh we did at Darth in Lace :)

Love Candace's name of "Doily Darth". Hilarious!

Meagan said...

While everyone is stuck on the Ironman ccc, I can't take my eyes off the Na'vi one.
1- are we positive those heads are actually cake? If it is, I am amazed at the ability to carve a head so well and then mess up the rest
2 - good use of black licorice :)
3 - who eats heads? Na-vi or otherwise. Where do you carve from? ugg!
4 - why are their faces melting? gross!
5 - what are they on? paper waves? they didn't live on the water.
6 - Are their eyes - gummy lifesavers?
and worst of all 7 - where are their bodies? I don't know which is worse - the severed head or a whole body?

Georganna said...

I would also like to point out that the iron man cupcake cake has been reduced.

lisadh said...

Wow...um, yeah...uh, that last picture? Yuck.

Janelle said...

my 4 yo dd knew right off that the first one was Iron Man -- probably because it reasembles one of her own drawings. my favorite bit, though, is that she's sure it's Iron Man made out of HOT DOGS!

salamandermuse said...

"Let me guess, that's made out of sausage" My 4 year old son looking over my shoulder at cake number 1. I don't think I could have said it better.

Anonymous said...

Face of Boe commenter FTW!

WV: halmg... i got nothin'.

andygirl said...

what in the hail is that first one supposed to be?

Anonymous said...

Are we sure the first on eisn't Cassandra from Dr. Who?

chris said...

:D That first one--supposed to be Iron Man, right? Except it really, really looks more like Cassandra from Dr. Who. Which is even more disturbing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra_%28Doctor_Who%29

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else see a woman's chest instead of ears on the carebears?

Tiffany said...

Thanks for the note John.... I was certain that the first cake was a swimsuit on a flat chested woman.

Christin said...

the first one? what the hell is that? and the batman cookie? it looks like my 3 year old cousin did it.

Anonymous said...

I got Iron Man right away on cake #1. I think the slit eyes gave it away. And if nothing else, the color scheme is pretty close.

Also, the Mr. Bill in carbonite rather resembles the scene in Legos Star Wars . . . which is awesomely cute.

scyllacat said...

Oh, good, @Squidley had the same thought I did. I was totally going with Silence of the Lambs sewing project, really. But I did eventually come up with Iron Man.

Some days, you eat the cake, and some days, the cake wears your skin for a coat.

Christine said...

Such a shame they tried to ice it, if they'd stuck with just the mask the gingerbread batman would have been adorable

noricum said...

Thanks for the ironman tip... I too thought it was a flesh covered bathing suit with flat breasts on... hamburgers?

teri said...

This site is the most wreck-tastic thing ever! I have become a daily follower after a few times of checking it out. I'm really loving the comic-con based cakes, that made my day especially the "iron blob" cake and Darth Doily!

Karen said...

Ohmyword. The Iron Man CCC...*shudders in horror*

Actually...just all of them. But the Iron Man one just...makes my heart ache.

Sharon said...

The creatures from the blue-black lagoon...

Are you sure the Na'vi in the last photo are cake and not styrofoam wig stands with icing?

Anonymous said...

I was sure the Carbonite cake was Caillou, in which case I'd say it's about time.

Leona C

D.B. Echo said...

I recognized that first cake as Iron Man before I even saw the entire picture! What's wrong with me?

T said...

thanks for clearing up the Iron man thing... I was having a hard time distinguishing it from my welcome mat.

DV in lace was the best! maybe I'll show it to my 6 yr old so she won't be afraid of him next time the movie is on?

and the "baking nuts" sign above the Na'Vi seems very appropriate... they're nuts if they think this is "baking" at all..

Sapphragette said...

See now I thought the first one was a Pokemon character...who was having some sort of weird close personal thing with some jelly (OMG are those things TROUT???)

Sandye said...

I thought the first one was a heraldic shield outlined in bacon....

Winona said...

Mr. Bill in carbonite = BRILLIANT and not at all a wreck.

Cat. said...

Oy, that pink Care Bear had tits on its forehead. Talk about breast augmentation gone awry...

Also, the pair of Na'vi down there should seek some kind of soothing mask; their faces are, quite literally, melting off.

Kat said...

The Darth Vader cake actually looks more like a black pug.

KC

Fluffy Cow said...

Ohhhhhh... IRON man!!!

*facepalm*

Anonymous said...

I can't remember any Na'vi cake from the post -- seems trauma blocks horrendous sights out of my mind quite well.

Thank goodness.

~~Di

Susannah said...

I thought the first one might be a ladies swimsuit or a man's wife-beater t-shirt. Iron Man definitely did not come to mind.

Anners said...

wow. I totally thought the first one was a nude-coloured bathing suit with those little censor bars in strategic places. or ironman. of course.

Jenny said...

The Care Bears are going to kill me!

Janna said...

I think the first one is supposed to be Iron Man...or a casket.

Jen said...

Why is Batman naked?

Megan said...

Are we sure the first one isn't a swimming suit?

Julia said...

I agree that cake #1 must be Iron Man, but only once I viewed it full-size and saw the plastic things next to the cake. That is definitely a missed mark.
And the Na'avi are seriously creepy.

Laura said...

Is it just me or do the Care Bear ears/things floating above their eye pieces(?) look like boobs? Aww poor poor Tony Stark... but maybe he could use the hit to his ego?

I'm off to ponder the meaning of life and to shed the last bit of hope I had for humanity. lol

snye said...

the ironman cake looks like it has giant slices of pepperoni coming out the sides!

tottergirl said...

What the heck is that first one anyway? It looks like a hunk of badly rotted meat. It is totally nasty!

Anonymous said...

good lord, what is with bakers

craftinqueen said...

"Are those Care Bears? They look more like Care Weasels!" - my husband puts it in perspective.

Andrea in St. Louis

WV- unnes

"Unnes to git more decor-ratin' skilz!"

Melanie S said...

How is Mr. Bill encased in carbonite a bad thing? It's awesome :)

Anonymous said...

That first cake looks like someone threw slabs of bacon on it drew in a couple of lines for eyes and then tried to hide the fact that it is a CCC! I could swear I saw cupcakes at the bottom of whatever that cake is lol.

Beth said...

Ironman? Too funny. I loved the little faces on the big Care Bears!

Amanda said...

I'm glad you added the note about the first cake. WOW. I adore Iron Man, loved the movies, but I did not recognize the cake *at all*. I thought it was a... torso. With red around it. And white lines for some reason. -hides in corner-

Anonymous said...

In the last one, the sign "Baking Nuts" above the aisle must be used to describe the decorators lol

Aviatrix said...

I didn't realize that Ironman was only a headless, dismembered torso. Is that what he looks like under the suit?

Anonymous said...

That first one: glowing dragon face or sunburned American Indian torso in a dirty tank top?

Anonymous said...

@anon 9:48 LOL so true! What IS the burned n'avi head hair made of? licorice or dirty mop?

Anonymous said...

those green lifesaver eyes on the n'avi are CREEPY! baking nuts indeed

btw, what kind of store has a whole aisle devoted to baking nuts? (kidding)

Anonymous said...

@ mama martinez: nursing bathing suit! LOL that's creative!

Ai said...

... Are those Avatar things even cake? Oh wow.

lucindalynne said...

I, too, thought the first cake was supposed to be Lady Cassandra!

moisturizeme said...

The Lady Cassandra, for the win!

Mr. Bill in carbonite = awesome, but who wants to eat that metallic grey icing? Bleah.

"Hutt nuts!" lol

Elizabeth S. said...

Oh. They've encased Mr. Bill in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure the first cake is a bathing suit. These are true wrecks!

Lovin' like crazy said...

C'mon, Jen....

Hutts don't have nuts. DV wouldn't say that. I expect realistic snarkiness when I read your blog. Get it together.

Seriously, your commentary is what makes this blog great. Cake wrecks are just the vehicle for your talent with wit and sarcasm. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

I totally got Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen for cake number one as well!

Wikilink to the eppie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_End_of_the_World_(Doctor_Who)

Link her character page (with photo!) on Tardis Wikia: http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Cassandra

zombie tomato!

Cupcakes Lady said...

Na'vi Nazis....lol...I like that one ;) xx

Jamie said...

I totally didn't get the first cake was Iron Man either, I thought it was a jersey with blank lines for empty numbers. I agree it would be a good Lady Cassandra cake though.