Friday, May 28, 2010

This Weekend, Pig Out

Friday, May 28, 2010

Since Monday is Memorial Day, I thought you guys might appreciate a few food tips before your weekend get-togethers kick off.

Tip #1: So long as you have beer and bacon, all of your male friends will be happy.

Which is why I, as a girl, think it would be hilarious if you substituted all the beer and bacon with beer and bacon cakes, like this one. Just think how pleased the guys will be at the surprise!



Tip #2: Know your pig.

Calm down; I mean the animal.

Sometimes I think a vegan named these things. "Haha! I will name THIS one 'jowl butt,' so NO ONE will EVER want to eat it! Mwuhahahahaa!

Now, who wants some niiice fresh asparagus?"


Tip #3: Sometimes it helps to channel your inner Freddie.

Ewwww.


Tip #4: Or, if you're like me and subscribe to the "no guts; too gory" philosophy of food, try the all-inclusive cooking method:

Just don't forget the apple.
I don't know why. Just...don't.


Bonus: When you're done, you'll have a lovely centerpiece!

"I see you eating that jowl butt. And, yeah, I'm totally judging you."


Never mind all that, though, because the important thing to remember here is the glory of bacon.


Apparently it even makes 40 better. Although what that has to do with a mountain range at sunset is beyond me.

Julie B., Kellie B., Jade B., Dorota, Monica I., & Melissa C., notice how I didn't say anything about head cheese? Yep. Some lines you just don't cross.
Anonymous said...

oh that is just so nasty, I had to make my first comment on here!Why would anyone WANT to have a bacon looking pig cake?
shudder
Kathy T

Dave said...

(first comment, heehee)

Hilarious and disturbing all at once. but, you kinda have 2 "tip #3"'s

wv: rucked - uh-nuther way of talkin' 'bout these cakes

Anonymous said...

These are all really beautifully-made (except the last one, auuuuugh!), but I'm pretty sure I'd run a mile if any of them were in the same room as me!

Scarlett Robyn said...

actually,
it says:
"Even Makes 40 Beter!"
Ha!HA!HA!
thanks!

Jenniffer said...

A second dose of Cake Wrecks?!? This is a special day indeed!! My hubby would SO want those bacon cakes!

Julia said...

I feel compelled to point out that head cheese is actually delicious if it's well-made with quality ingredients. It's pretty common here in south Louisiana.

Also, #2 is really cute!

Jen said...

Whoops! Well, we did establish a long time ago that I can't count. ;)

Thanks for the heads up, though, Dave.

PinkPrincessAli said...

I like pork, but....ew.

Anonymous said...

Well...these are almost as gross as the real thing. Gotta applaud them for that, at least.

leslie said...

LOVE #1! The plastic wrap and label really "take the cake". AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Ahem. Sorry.

PS: Thanks for getting rid of that really scary header with all the doll bodies. {shudder}

WV: recidui The left-over pieces of frosting after the whole cake as been cut (but not in my world - that's in OTHER people's worlds.)

Anonymous said...

#1 and #2 are kinda cute..and appear to be well made. I think #3 was made for someone who is going to be a butcher or a chef...but is rather odd. #4 & #5 are well made, but CREEEEEEEPY!!! #6...well, it's definitely a wreck!!

But...no I think I'm going to go have a BLT as my hunger has been inspired by the first cake in this post...LOL

Debbie said...

I wonder if it's possible to make a bacon flavored cake. That would be a real surprise to the eater.

I admit, I'd definitely try a bite.

bevw said...

Uh. May. Zing. I love all of these. In fact, I want to order a few of them for friends' birthdays. <3

Bippy said...

Wow! They really went whole hog!

Amy said...

It might just be me, but the pork cut diagram was adorable. I'd not only eat it, especially if it turned into a sort of pork meatloaf cake, but I would cut along the lines so everyone gets a proper cut of porkcake.

Kris said...

I would pass on all the cakes except I do really like number 2. I think it's adorable.

Anonymous said...

That last one looks like bacon that's been in the fridge for a month! Yuck-O!!!

AlexDreamz said...

I want to know why they only cooked HALF of that last pic... I mean, do need raw bacon for some things, and cooked bacon for others... but I am totally unaware of any recipe that calls for "slab o' bacon, cooked on one side"!

The Black Dog said...

I have friends who absolutely love bacon and they're aware of this site. I don't know if they're going to laugh at the wrecks, or scream in horror at this bacon blasphemy.

~Mar said...

OMG! That first 'pig roast' cake looks like a brown Dumbo!!!

Stella said...

Thank you. Much better than the cows..hahaha.suuuuueeeeet.

The Dream Police Person said...

I love it! Even when I'm going through a rough patch you still manage to make me laugh.:)

Tatersmama said...

I like 'em all! (well, except for that last one of course)
But this just ruined my thoughts of bacon and eggs for breakfast.
Just sayin'.

Jessica @ One Shiny Star said...

Gotta love me some bacon!!! Yum!

Alysa said...

The pig head center piece is awesome lol :) It reminds me of a pig roast that we had at the Cerebral Palsy Camp I worked at a few years ago. I set up a "Kiss the Pig" contest to raise money for the camp. Six of the staff members were nominated to participate and the kids & parents donated money to the person that they wanted to kiss the pig. It came down to a girl and a guy...The guy could care less about it but the girl really didn't want to do it so she was putting $20s in the guys jar! But the parents thought it was hilarious so they made sure she "won" :)

sweetbiscuit said...

"bacon makes even 40 better" is my new life-motto. I love cake-wrecks!

Galiandy3941 said...

As for number three....I'm wondering, good luck with what exactly?

Jade B said...

Ha. I made the 3rd one for a retiring meat cutter. It was great because the whole party was full of meat cutters who weren't grossed out by the cake at all. This was also my first attempt at using fondont(for the cutting boards).

Anonymous said...

I actually kind of like the cuts of meat cake. It's pretty cute.

Nat said...

What can I say....... Never been more glad to be a vegetarian!!!

Anonymous said...

Ahaha the pork slices cake looks like the one from the Good Eats episode on chuck roast. Know your meat!

Fanboy Wife said...

I like the meat-reference-chart one the best.

I'm a little afraid of flavor of the various cakes. Do they make pork frosting?

Anonymous said...

You tried to gross me out but I got hungry bwahahah

Emily said...

mmmm. bacon!

gotta check Jim Gaffigan's take on bacon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nT9P8MMpsE

I can hear him sing/whisper "bacon" as i scroll down

halfbakedcake said...

To whomever asked if bacon flavored cake was possible, why yes, yes it is. I don't know if it's kosher (heh) to post this link, but my friend makes these all the time and they're yummy. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/maple-french-toast-and-bacon-cupcakes-recipe/index.html

I took a class whilst getting my degree in Food Science that I simply called "Meat Class". The second cake is AWESOME...I'm going to email that to my former meat professor. He had a picture of a guy that had that very diagram tattooed on him. So, so awesome.

Robot Pop said...

mmm...bacon.

Today, I was perusing the books at a local craft store and came across a cupcake cake how-to book...GAH! Why?

Yeah, so I did what any Cake Wrecks fan would do and buried it deeeepppp under some bottom shelf dusty books. Stopping the spread of "the CCC sickness" one cupcake (book) at a time.

WV: reepio- Seeth reepio wasth the beth spath wobot eva!

Ulrike said...

#2 reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ59OJegy94 (Two minutes in.)

Anonymous said...

I love the "Boar's Head" cake! It's perfect for a medieval Christmas celebration. I would love to see that carried in at the head of a grand procession. It's totally not a wreck.

The boar's head in hand bear I
Bedeck'd with bays and rosemary.
I pray you, my masters, be merry
Quot estis in convivio.

Caput apri defero
Reddens laudes Domino.

The boar's head, as I understand
Is the rarest dish in all this land
Which thus bedeck'd with a gay garland
Let us servire cantico.

Caput apri defero
Reddens laudes Domino

Barb

Cait said...

OMG. Jennnn. This is so right up your alley.

http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2010/05/28/debbie-goards-amazing-geeky-cakes-pics/

Arlene said...

Ewww that third cake makes me never want to eat meat again... but fear not I will eat meat.. I just won't shop at that bakery lol. That first cake though wow looks pretty good to me anyways.

Can't See Sheep said...

OMG what does memorial day have to do with slashers???

That last bacon is going to cause someone food poisoning, it's only partially cooked.

Alright, Lord of the Flies theme cakes again, I love it!!! Creepy, judging piggies! I like this new trend memorial day/ Lord of the Flies celebration.

Sage said...

I enjoyed Memorial Day when I was in America in 2000. The pig images are just so wrong I said EEEEEEEEEWWWW really loud haha ...

Anonymous said...

I'm actually kind of in awe at the first one...kudos to the baker for taking a weird request and creating a very well-done cake of it! (Subject is wrecky, but the cake is awesome)

2nd one is cute. AND well done.

3 makes sense (well...sort of ) now that we have the explanation from the creator...a retirement cake for a butcher...ummm, okay. Another well-done cake for a really bizarre request.

4 and 5? ORLY?

That last one, though...yeesh.

WV: Evibley. Evibley, some of these cakes are "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear".

Linda said...

Wow these cakes would confuse my senses.

The last 2 cakes of a roasted pig reminds me of mooncakes in shape of a pig! They come around the Autumn Festival (Chinese culture)--really cute and yummy (haha but filled with red bean or lotus paste, etc)! They also come fish shaped.

Felis said...

...Would these bacon-things help if you want to make something bacon flavoured?

http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=bacon&x=0&y=0

BrrShudderTwitch!

Mosir: I mosir do regret knowing about the bacon-flavouring stuff, mosir-tainly!

super08 said...

Hi, just wanted to share that the pig cake with an apple at the mouth would probably be an immitation of a dish/delicacy from the Philippines wherein they roast a whole pig and then serve it with an apple at the mouth when put on the food table. :)

Anonymous said...

those wicked little vegans....

Anonymous said...

are a stake through the heart and a heart of steak connected? just wondering...

Anonymous said...

a mountain range at sunset! LOL
(it does look like a nice watercolor from an amateur)

never mind, "where's the beef?" (as in the commercial, I know it's pork!)

the question is, "where's the fat?"

jo said...

I love #2! It's cute :) would be perfect for a butcher. Or for someone from a pork loving background. In some cultures (ex. Italy) they eat EVERY PART of the the pig. They really do provide a lot of food!

I really love a good pig roast. However, I don't think I'd want a cake of that. confusing to the senses.

You just reminded me--I'm taking my kids to a farm today to help weigh pigs. And yes, they are quickly growing piglets. There's a pig map on the wall similar to this one! (with a lot more detail)

Anonymous said...

@ Amy, cute idea! it would be so much fun to serve that way!

"Jowl butt, anyone?"

wv: humme. what a happy person would do while carving up these cakes.

baconlover said...

"Bacon is the fairy dust of the food community" To make anything taste better they wrap it around it or sprinkle on top.

"the pig is an amazing animal. You feed a pig an apple and it makes bacon!"

"I like dogs but pigs would be a good companion. when they die you could have a barbecue. 'Sorry your pig died. Can I come over for breakfast?'"

"The success of Kevin Bacon is somehow tied to his name."

ah, pork. the source of all happiness. religions that restrict it are just cruel. (joke)

thanks for that funny video post, Emily!

off to a slow start said...

Is Cheryl a butcher or a serial killer? Just what are we celebrating here? And why does that steak look like a heart?

Why am I now thinking of Sweeney Todd now...a shop selling meat pies made out of human victims. "Good luck in your new business, Cheryl!"

Or maybe it's a creative divorce cake....

ThatDeborahGirl said...

Cake#1 Did they actually wrap that cake in plastic & put a grocery store sticker on it?

Cake #3 Is that real meat on the cake or is it cake? And the utensils?

The animal "head" cakes are hideous. I could never eat that.

Oh my, I love cake wrecks.

Jade B said...

@thatdeborahgirl- no it's not real meat :) it's cake and very very red frosting and the utensils are made of fondont.

Anonymous said...

in cake #1, the beer can is cake, too. right?

and for those of you scifi fans of SGA, remember the scene from the episode, The Storm. the one where while the marines are guarding the gate, they discuss the things they miss most about being in another galaxy? Bacon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aET0crK2iY0

Heidi D said...

I think 'head cheese' is the most disturbing.

Rebecca Grace said...

Ohhh, these are so GROSS!! But in a good way! I wish I could get one of those nasty bacon cakes for my husband's birthday, just to see his reaction (and to capture it on film forever)...

Anonymous said...

... now I'm really going to barf.....

Anonymous said...

So does the US Memorial day commemorate deceased pigs?

If so - why?

A said...

That boar's head cake....eeeyagh! I don't want to eat a severed head of anything cake that's staring at me!

At least this post made a silk purse out of a sow's ear?

Amber said...

You know, on the first picture, there is totally a hidden Martin Luther King, Jr. right underneath the price label, a little to the right.

Melissa said...

What EXACTLY is Cheryl being wished "Good luck!" for? Graduating Butcher school maybe? If that's not it....then I'm scared.....

WV: upulc
I'll upulc before anyone can make me eat Cheryl's cake!

Aliza said...

TWO postings in one day! How awesome!

The first bacon cake is amazing... while my reaction was "ewww, as a cake?!" I know some people who would consider that the stuff of died-and-gone-to-heaven. However, I'm not sure if I'd call that can "beer". Yellow water, maybe ;)

The rest were well done but... I'm now considering keeping kosher ;)

Craig said...

#1 Since most guys -- including me -- are cake (eating) fanatics, I doubt they'd mind.

#2 Actually well-executed (pardon the pun) -- where is the wreck?

#3 Seriously disturbing. The 'steak' looks like a heart, so what is Cheryl being wished luck with -- her trial? Does anyone else hear the signature music from Psycho?

Speaking of t-taxidermy, #4 looks like a baby elephant, what with the outsize ears and extra-long snout. Poor Dumbo... Nicely caramelized, though. Eww.

#6 Also seriously disturbing. Maybe it's just me, but two things I like in a cake are: it's not watching me eat it, and no herbal garnish. In fact, I would call those requirements. Diet aid.

#7 Bacon may make 40 better; what would have made the cake better? A pre-decorating visit to the local butcher? Dialing the airbrush down from 'tactical assault' to 'decorate'?

Craig said...

I don't want to 'hog' the comments, but I just thought of an obvious one (with apologies to anyone already posted with the same idea):

The bacon cakes should be frosted with lard. (Apologies to anyone who just ate before reading that, as well).

Craig said...

Jen isn't the only one with counting difficulties.

I'm calling this one on myself: 1,2,3,4,6,7? I learnt them countin' numbers real good. ;-)

BTW, I loved the Sweeney Todd reference on the Cheryl (Chessman?) cake.

Evalis said...

ah head cheese. Worked in a meat warehouse once... dropped every type of meat at one point or another. Generally the boxes just fall and stay down, but head cheese boxes... well... they bounced like rubber balls. That aside, i do like the pig diagram.

J. Turner said...

All I can think of is poor Piggy and Simon in Lord of the Flies. "Kill the pig. Spill his blood!" Ug. If I ever teach sophomore English again, maybe I'll a pig on stick cake making contest.

Mikewind Dale said...

Just stick cake #5 on a pole. Ooh, how about a giant candy cane?

Anonymous said...

The #2 Cuts Chart was my husbands idea to bring to pig roast. The butchers there loved it! I just thought the little piggie was cute. The cake was Tomato Soup Spice Cake with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting! So, to me, it tasted better than it looked!
~kellie b

Cupcakes Lady said...

Not more meat cakes....thats just wrong! xx

Kristy said...

The pig's head cake reminds me of Lord of the Flies!