Monday, May 24, 2010

The Baby Cake Gets Cut Down to Size

Monday, May 24, 2010

You know how sometimes you see a baby cake that's not too horrendously awful, and your first reaction is something like,

"
Aw, just lookit that face! Who's a cute widdle boopsie woopsie baby? Is it you? Yes, it's you!!"

(Actually, sorry, that's John talking to our cats. My bad.)

Anyway, my point is that while some of these baby cakes might be just the teensiest bit cute, you have to remember one very important thing:

It's all fun and games 'til you cut the cake.


Yes, I have an example. Brace yourself.

Here we have the standard old man baby cake:

I say we call him Benjamin. ('Cuz he's cute as a Button!)

[Quick side note: in case you're wondering, as I did, why he's on a food court tray: it turns out that's a new type of cake board popping up in bakeries. Weird, I know. Ok, sorry to interrupt. Let's move on.]

And just so you get the full effect:

Just lookit that face!

No really, look at it. Aren't you glad the eyes aren't open?

[shiver] Whoah. I just gave myself the willies. (Or should I call them the "bennies?")


Okay. So, ├╝ber realistic baby. Been there, done that. However, here's where things get...

...cutting.

I would insert some side-splitting commentary here about how stabbing someone in the back always gets you the cold shoulder in the end - but as you can see, there's no need. He's already "waist"ing away!

Oh, Oh! Wait! I have one more:

Hey, Benji! You just got served!

Bwahahahahahaahaa!


Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.

Anyway, we still haven't gotten to the worst part yet. The worst part actually, literally, in real reality, honestly gave John nightmares. Seriously. So now he won't let me post it here. Instead, I'm going to link to it. But please, all joking aside, choose your clicks wisely. I'm here to make you laugh, not give you nightmares - and this thing puts the "ick" in "squicky."

Ok, enough warnings (since I'm sure they're having the opposite affect anyway): Click here to see the final photo.


Thanks to Kimberley K., who will never again say to a child, "I could just eat you up!"

Note from John: I initially made that last picture a separate post and linked to it, not realizing it would show up in Google readers before the actual post. Oops. Sorry to those of you who clicked on it with no warning! Oh and if the new link doesn't work, you may have to refresh the page.
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~me said...

DEAR FSM!!! That's just not right.

Although the "stuff of nightmare" picture makes more sense (that hit my blog reader first for some reason). I had NO idea what I was looking at.

Kind of wish I still didn't

elizabeth said...

That last photo came up first in my reader feed. Yeah, definitely nightmare fodder, with no warning. I wondered how people dealt with the actual cutting of the scary baby cakes. Don't think I could do it myself.

Andrea said...

Who does something like this? Don't people think this through?? Eyagh!

Kira Zobel said...

I'm glad it's not a red velvet cake..

The Boob Nazi said...

ahhh! I don't get how people want to cut into babies. SOOO creepy.

lilly piri said...

This cake is for cannibals :(

Ekio Locatiare said...

Holy wow! That is really creepy....Yeah...I think I'd have been gagging at that shower.

Katie said...

If that last photo doesn't convince bakers that realistic baby cakes (maybe baby cakes in general) are just WRONG, I don't know what will.

I think I like my cake in abstract, geometric shapes.

Anonymous said...

WTF this is not right

Wendy said...

Saw the last picture first and couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was...not sure if I'm better off knowing.

Giik said...

Good thing it's a chocolate cake and not a strawberry cake...maybe.

Heather said...

So wrong. So very wrong. So very, very, VERY wrong...

*hides under bed*

Jessica said...

No couldn't do it. I have trouble cutting into a picture of a person on a cake.

JelliDonut said...

This creeped me out so much, I will not be able to eat breakfast. Seriously. WTF? I don't leave too many comments here, but this is just awful!

EG said...

That's truly rather horrifying.

Jess said...

That goes on to my hated list of thing you can't un-see. Seriously disturbing.

Alex Getts said...

Whoever ordered that cake needs a serious smackdown! There is NOTHING right about that!

Taylor said...

"Baby, the other other white meat."

Jasry said...

That last pic actually made me jump. Urg, no WAY would I ever make something like that, no matter what the customer was willing to pay. That's just wrong on soooo many levels.

CarrieP said...

Oh, God.

I thought it was a cake of sushi. A California roll.

D Dennis said...

Why, why, WHY did I let myself click on the link?? My eyes! They burn! My stomach! It heaves! The HORROR! It's like the Bride of Chucky had an affair with a Cabbage Patch Kid and got herself knocked up. With THAT being their offspring. That's the most disturbing thing I've seen in ages. That poor mother. I hope she recovered from her shower before she had her baby.

Cathy in AK said...

I usually just lurk here, but...Egad! Cakes that resemble real people or animals are cute/cool, but I don't think I could eat them.

Same with pinatas offered in birthday/holiday catelogs. If they are shaped like animals or have pictures of characters, bands or tv personalities, why would you want to smack it with a stick???

Ken said...

Well, yes that is quite disturbing... but imagine if, when cutting the other end, hot, melted chocolate fudge came running out...

I think I lost my appetite for cake for a few weeks...

CarrieP said...

Yep, definitely a rainbow roll. See, the pink is salmon, and the green is avocado.

TRUST ME.

Nancy said...

That it is on a LUNCH TRAY just makes it so much worse!

WV: Potbo - When you want to give the gift of medicinal herb to someone on their birthday, you put a big potbo on top.

Connie said...

The picture in the LINK seriously made me want to cry.

Tori said...

I'm going to echo the "at least it's not red velvet cake with raspberry filling" sentiment. Creeptastic indeed.

Sylph said...

I was thinking what Kira Zobel already wrote - SO glad it's not red velvet!!!

Kevin Phair said...

When I saw the chopped up baby face last night with no explanation or warning, I thought it was sushi.

Jimh. said...

That's somehow wrong, no matter how you SLICE it!

That last photo is a CUT about the rest?

OOoooh, the bad puns keep coming! I'll try to stop!

how about tasteless jokes?

why'd they start at the side? So they could watch the expressions?

Great post you two!

Wendy said...

You were so right! That was at once hilarious and disturbing.

bamatam said...

Yeah- I got the last photo first, and I thought it was supposed to be one of those 6-foot-long party sandwiches, made of cake. I thought it looked gross, but no biggie. THEN, when I found out what it was today, I was really disgusted! (shudder...)

Nobodys Nothings said...

i saw the last photo first, and i won't lie to you... it was highly disturbing. i actually thought that maybe i was looking at a sliced up whole roast pig cake or something. *shivers* yuck.

Kimmie said...

I have never seen anything more disgusting or ill-advised. I'd love to know who really thought that was a good idea.

Give me carrot jockeys any day!

melon said...

Hahahahaha! That is so nasty!

Jenn Holton said...

*Long sustained scream of horror*
*breathes*
*screams some more*

YOU HAD TO POST THIS THE DAY AFTER MY SISTER GIVES BIRTH TO HER FOURTH BABY?!?!

WHY?!?!

Promise said...

Okay. I guess I'm a sicko or something, cause that last photo made me laugh. Not with glee, but at the ridiculousness of it.

Lauren said...

I'm so thankful it was NOT a red velvet cake....I was bracing myself for that! :( Sickos. This idea for a cake makes no sense; it's just nasty!

Trevor said...

i must be demented. That photo didn't freak me out. I looked at it and thought "It looks like a Dali painting"

diddleymaz said...

Oh thats sick, WTF were they thinking??

Mary Connealy said...

Please, may we all LEARN from this.

I can barely stand to cut up one of those cakes with an enlarged photo on it.

Nightmare indeed.

Anonymous said...

The link won't work for me... :( can you post a new link?

Mary Connealy said...

Baby, the OTHER white meat?

Top comment of ALL TIME.

imspiffier said...

I think I'm going to throw up. And that will look better and be more appetizing than that wretched cake.

Anonymous said...

Oh the HORROR! That last cake was Japanese horror movie scary!

Doc said...

Peptide cake, with mint frosting?

Kae said...

Aw, geez...that's just not right. Not right.

NiteNurse said...

After 3 nights on, taking care of newborns, I can only HOWL with horror!! Realistic baby cakes have always been the only cakes that truly disturb me (bring on the fung-y feet and the squishy piles)

Going back to sleep now w/ the relaxation DVD turned to HIGH. My condolences & understanding to John.

Wv: BULAB: an organization one of you could start: Bakers United Lobbying Against "Babies"

Anonymous said...

"If they are shaped like animals or have pictures of characters, bands or tv personalities, why would you want to smack it with a stick???"

I think that depends entirely on the character.

YEAH, PIKACHU! I'M LOOKIN' AT *YOU*!!
*waves stick menacingly*

Laura W. said...

If it makes you feel less guilty :), I saw that in my reader last night and thought it was a carrot. The horror didn't come until I read the explanation this morning, thankyouverymuch. :)

*shudder*

betty crocker said...

O. M. G. NO!!! Poor lil baby!!!! I agree with Kira-at least it was red velvet!!!

Julie U said...

Awesome! I needed a boost to my diet! Thanks for reminding me and enforcing that cake is out!

Tricia L said...

I had kind of decided not to click on the link. Then I read the comments and decided I absolutely will not, ever, never, click the link. If it is that disgusting, it obviously should be banned by law, and the baker should be committed to the State Home for the Criminally Ill-Advised.

wv: molla
Holy, molla, that link must be disgusting.

Sherri said...

This just reinforces my belief that Cakes should not, under any circumstances or for any reason, look like animate living things. No cake babies, cake brides, cake dogs, cake cats, cake caterpillers, cake butts, armadillos, etc.

Cake should look, in my opinion, just like something I want to eat...like CAKE! I'm all about the killing, mutilation and happy, happy eating of CAKE.

Not babies. No eating of babies!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's a celebration cake for an anniversary of Jonathon Swift's work?

mocking

Caroline B said...

I love babies.......but I can never eat a whole one.


(very old joke I know, but so fitting......)

Jenni said...

SO WRONG. JUST SO WRONG.

Jacqui said...

Quite possibly one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. *shudder*

C said...

I consider myself tough, so I scoffed "how bad could it be?" as I clicked on the link.

It was worse.

I clicked back as quickly as I could, before the image had a chance to fully embed in my brain. Tonight under the covers with the lights out, we'll see how successful that was. *shudder*

Courtney

Anonymous said...

I just happen to have a four-month-old son named Benjamin nursing in my lap right now. And After seeing those pictures, I think I might never let him out of my arms!

Sharon said...

I'm not sure which would be more disturbing: getting served part of the face or the seat of the diaper.

I'm inclined towards the diaper.

Tricia L said...

If I'm not mistaken, this is the precise reason Duff Goldman refused to make "people" cakes. Though apparently he has no problem with you hacking up your favorite pet in cake form.

Stephanie :) said...

My face froze in horror for a few brief seconds. *shudders*

@ Anon at 11:08am - Brilliant!

Jamie said...

Wow, I took your tale of John's woe for hyperbole, but... looking at that photo reminded me of that time I spent two days reading through random SCP's (scp-wiki.wikidot.com/ ; an entertaining and sometimes totally creeptastic wiki) and then had to sleep at my parents' because I had wigged myself out that badly.

[insert winky face here to imply this story could also be hyperbole]

Here's hoping I forget that photo before bedtime!

Johnnyb said...

I am reminded of the Star Trek episode where Brent Spiner is a cake and other cast members are eating him.

Angela said...

I think we should all be thankful that they decided against a strawberry filling.

Johnnyb said...

I'm reminded of the Star Trek episode where Brent Spiner is made into a cake and other crew members are eating him. That is what that picture reminds me of.

Anonymous said...

Ah! my eyeballs are burning!

Casey said...

omg, when is it a good idea to make a cake like that. Im pretty sure i could even bring my self to have a piece of that.

jo said...

ooh! sushi! (last photo)

at least it wasn't red velvet cake...

Kristine said...

Let's stick to plastic babies in cakes. You know, the kind you remove before cutting. Those are just wrecky. This IS the stuff of nightmares!

@tishushu said...

Aaaaaaaaah! *screams and runs and hides*

Tishana

Ann said...

EEEEEEWWWWWWW!

Jonathan Swift said...

I find this cake inspiring.

Amanda said...

Uh,um, oh my, uh, why?

All I could do after I saw the last picture was laugh at how gross and ridiculous it all was...and disturbing.

Aliza said...

Could this post be sent out to all bakeries with the skill to make a realistic-looking baby cake, as a public service advisory to NEVER, EVER, make a cake of a person that will then be sliced up and served?

The thoroughly inept bakeries, of course, are entirely welcome because we can happily laugh and then mock them without getting queasy first :)

PS and since nobody's mentioned it... baby that young sleeping face down, not a good idea. "Back to sleep" prevents SIDS. Another public health message for the day :)

PPS Loved CarrieP's and CarolineB's comments

kim said...

Argggghhh!

Cheryl said...

Was that last picture from "Saw"?

Julie said...

The cake is just ridiculous...doesn't everyone know you're supposed to put babies down on their backs, not their tummies. C'mon, people!

Picture #2 reminded me of Tom Petty's "Don't Come Round Here No More" video from back in the day.

Reading Rachel said...

That is possibly the most disturbing cake that I've ever seen. Who would eat that? Can you imagine if you were served the face? AAAHHHH!

acertainjustice said...

oh come on, it'll take more then that gros....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh

Jennifer said...

AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHH! My eyes! My eyes! That cake is disturbing on so many levels. Put this in the category of "Things you can't Un-See."

faunablues said...

all I can say is... that's a nice bread knife.

Flea said...

SUSHI BABY!!!

Beth said...

I will never look at a baby cake the same again. Never. Bluhh!

Olive said...

Ummmmm.....creepy is not the right word. IT was horrid. I clicked on the link thinking....hey how bad could it be....its just cake. WRONG! I WAS SO WRONG. Some people are sick.

What is worse is they ate it....so wrong.

queeniek said...

Ummmmm, ick! Life-like baby cakes give me the willies!

Quisty said...

I actually came across this cake photo when I was researching ideas for my sister's baby shower cake. It creeped me waaaaay out BEFORE I saw it hacked to pieces!!! I joked to my friends: What kind of people would willingly want to HACK into that? And who gets the hiney? Blech. Seriously, seriously wrong.

Rachel said...

JohnnyB, it was Troi who was the cake...but that wasn't half as disturbing as this was. *shudder*

Quit talking about sushi, people, please? *big eyes* I adore sushi. If I connect it with this cake, will I ever be able to eat it again???

Seriously...creeeeeeeeeeeepy. So very wrong. Genuinely scary.

Keele said...

Perfect cake for a Jonathan Swift/ "A Modest Proposal" party! See! We can give this a posative take!!

Anonymous said...

Yea...um..I don't know how anyone can enjoy cutting that cake. Wonder who got to eat the eye. *shudders*

John and Sarah Sperry said...

THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shouldn't have clicked on the link. I'm going to be sick.

Let Them Eat Cake said...

Reminds me of the display at the Field Museum of Natural History (in Chicago) that had 2 human bodies cut into cross sections - one horizontally and one vertically - so you could see what was inside.

Now we know why babies are so sweet - inside of them is cake.

ZealofZebras said...

I wonder if it's a cellular peptide cake.

With mint frosting.

(Kudos to those who get the reference. You rock.)

Stephanie said...

*looks at last picture* ACK!!! O_O That is just so very, very wrong...

Susan said...

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! That's so awful!

Anonymous said...

I sometimes feel like y'all are more easily creeped out or grossed out than I would be, but that last one definitely made me uneasy. Yuck-o. I totally get where you're coming from.

pauraque said...

Beware the link. It cannot be un-seen.

Wendy said...

Creepy doesn't begin to describe that. There's no way I could eat much less hack into one of those!

Jennie said...

So, so very wrong.

Kat said...

Wow, I saw the nightmare picture first, and totally didn't parse it. I wish I still didn't!

Remaix said...

...I really shouldn't. Which means I will.

*clicks link and looks at photo*

...right. I'm going to therapy now. o_o

Hanah said...

I know it's just a cake, but super super sad!! Poor little baby Benny (cake)!! :( I hope this doesn't catch on!! Too sad!!

Little Lovables said...

oh hell, why did I get all brave and click that link?

it put me in the mood to go kick some ass

Alexis said...

This is soooo Garbage Pail Kids. I think perhaps 'Baked Benjamin' or 'Cathy Cut-Up'.

Must admit that I lol'd at the linked picture. It's just so disturbing. Laughing must my coping mechanism.

Katherine Erickson said...

My stomach literally lurched with disgust at that last photograph. Dear God!!!

~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizard said...

GAHHHH!

Buttercup Bento said...

And it's even better when you check out this site just before bed. Nice!

Auntie Meme said...

My reaction to the last pic: "Yuck. Fondant."

Monica said...

This is why Charm City Cakes try to make their figures more cartoony! THIS!

sendingtheclowns said...

Oh, fer cryin' out loud. It's a cake.
!!!
Freaking UGLY...but still a CAKE.
It doesn't look remotely real.
Or remotely edible, for that matter.
So I wasn't scared of/by it.
(Because it's so FREAKING UGLY!!!)
The weirdest thing (I think) is the way it looks in the cut-up photo: look real closely at the mouth...Go on! Can you see it?? It has taken on a grimace--as if the *baby* had started to pucker up to cry! Wow, HUH??
I think that is amazing.


Too bad it's so FREAKING UGLY.



=^e.e^=

~Nikki~ said...

That's so perfectly done, but as a cake that is TERRIBLE! It would be like cutting into a real sleeping baby! Oh no.....


check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Eat Cake said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

SO SO SO SO SO upsetting

dawn said...

I'll take hot dogs riding poo waves over that last photo ANY day! Really... Real hot dogs on smelly poo waves... *wretch*

Anonymous said...

I.cannot.stop.laughing at the sheer ridiculousness/horror of it. Um, thanks?

The cut in shot looks like someone is about to get a piece of...oh, nvrmnd, family site and all.

Spotgirl said...

Okay, I seriously got chills when I saw that pic. Why don't I listen when people say not to click? Shudder.

Julia said...

That link came up first in Google reader...yikes! Literally made my six-year-old look at the screen in open-mouthed horror. (Of course, kids always walk past the computer at the most inconvenient times. "It's not a real baby, honey!")
What a horrible idea for a cake...ick!!

Moxie said...

Maybe I'm just fed up with my children today, but that's hysterical. Red velvet cake would have made it better. [Note to self: offer to make next baby shower cake.]

I even shared with my son Benjamin and we had a good laugh.

Yes, I'm evil. I'll just let myself out...

JayneCobb said...

Is it bad that I howled with laughter when I saw that last picture?
Huh.

Kimberly said...

Disturbing!!!! Looks like something a serial killer would do.

W.Peabody said...

Had to stop eating cake for health reasons, this just made it that much easier. :P

Bernie said...

Holy blessed honorable Cripes!! That is just horrific and creepy...*shudders*. What the frigg man? WHAT THE FRIGG?!?!? (i admire the art as much as the next guy, but wow. Just 'wow'.)

Becky said...

Even though you warned me NOT to look at the photo...I DID...

and now it's burned in to my eyeballs...

YIKES!

Papi and Wee Granny said...

Now I know what happens to the damsel in distress when the hero doesn't find her in time.

Or, the new movie, "UpChucky."

Anonymous said...

Old wives tale said that if a mother had a bad scare before delivery something would be wrong with the baby - hope she wasn't jinxed!

Anonymous said...

my 2 1/2 year old son just said...'mommy I don't like him, he's scary'

so true

ncflaggs said...

Oh dear lord, WHY WHY WHY would you take a photo of the cutting of the head??? Really? As if the mere fact that you are cutting into a rather realistic baby cake weren't bad enough, you HAD to take photos of the face being butchered? REALLY?! Sick people! I swear, if anyone shows up at MY baby shower w/a baby cake, I disown them!

Madeleine said...

I saw the set up pictures. I read the text. I was duly warned. "How bad can it be?", I wondered.

*click*

Pretty bad.

Donna said...

At least the cake isn't red velvet!

jeriniam said...

That final picture is horrifying! Truly!

brian t said...

Whether or not that cake gives you "the willies" might depend on just how anatomically-correct it is under the diaper. Just as long as there's some chocolate sauce in there too ... !

Jonathan said...

My 8 year old and I have wonderful bonding time over this blog... we were not pleased with the people who decided this cake wasa good idea. neither of us understand why making a realistic baby, cutting it or eating it is a good goal. For the love of Pete, make something else.

The Vagabond Priest said...

Eeeeeeeeeeee. I was one of those google reader people who got the first picture, and sat there saying "Dear God, what IS THAT THING?" and wondering if it was some cake on the theme of "To the Pain".

This is just as bad, and I might join you all in NightCake on Elm Street.

unseeliepixie said...

Wow... while I'll admit I can't stand children, no baby deserves that(I can think of a twelve year old, but not a baby). I'm not too squeamish, but it definitely weirded me out...

SarahSarahSarah said...

well it was kind of scary as I'm pregnant, but I'm surprisingly hungry for cake now.

Anonymous said...

I should have heeded your warnings!! That's is just plain wrong! EEEWWWWWWW Never have I ordered a Baby Shower cake and been offered that. However, I will be on the look out. I love my friends and desire to keep them as friends for many years!! LOL

jonna said...

Ewww. Why did I look??

Timestep said...

My 10 y.o. was looking over my shoulder as I was looking at the last posted (not linked) picture and said "aww how cute....what are they DOING to him."

I had to explain that it was a cake, not an actual baby.

Anonymous said...

At least they cut the head in slices & not quarters.

ASDmomNC said...

That has to be one of the most disturbing things I've seen in a long time. I have no idea how a pregnant woman could stomach (hah) that.

Anonymous said...

Horrifying for sure, but I'm just very thankful that they went with a white cake and NOT red velvet.

paulina said...

I don't know why in the world people ask for a baby cake... it's a horror how you have to cut it... well.... I do cakes and I really refuse if someone ask me to do a baby cake... lol :)

Anonymous said...

Huh.

The close up of the FREAKY BABY FACE pre-cutting was way way worse, IMO. It's actually somewhat improved by being cut into slices.

I actually went to go look at it again just see if I was missing the horribleness. *headcocks* Nope. Still just looks like a baby doll cake head. Only less creepy.

SugarFrosted said...

Oh.aaaaccckkk...I clicked the extra link and...I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit...

I have seriously never understood how people can cut up and eat baby cakes or preggo belly cakes or even cake-to-look-like-my-dog cakes...too much like dissecting a loved one.

Too creepy!

Table for Seven said...

At least the rest of you were smart enough to not look at the link while your three year old was standing beside you. When he saw the first two pictures he said, "Look, a little daddy." Then when he saw the picture in the link, he said in a very sad voice, "Little daddy died." Seriously.

I can't imagine having been at that baby shower.

Anonymous said...

Relax people this is all part the the Governments no child left behind program.

Now clean your plate.

Bree said...

I love horror movies, but seeing a realistic baby cake being sliced into is way too much.

I'd like to know what's wrong with a cake that has balloons and baby blocks with a simple Congratulations (provided the baker can spell) on it.

ujraluca said...

hm, i do consider myself strong. i can watch a japanese horror movie without a hiccup.
but.
erhm.
anyway, thanks for the experience and keep up the good work, this site is great.
cheers from Europe.

Lorilynne said...

OH. MY. LORD. If I ever went to a party where a cake like that was served, I would promptly leave.

Morgan said...

So here I was thinking "I'm pretty hard, it's just a cake, that won't possibly give me nightmaaAAAAAAUGH JESUS CHRIST WHAT"

WHO
WOULD
DO
THAT

Loew said...

Poor kid has forearms like Popeye. However, with a knife in his head it's probably the least of his problems.

Melinda said...

If I'd eaten, I would've lost it right then and there. The rest of the post was funny, yes. That las picture is something I will stay awake to avoid tonight. Yikes!

mandyj212000 said...

OK.. Number 1- cake should never be in the form of a baby! I don't care how cute you think it is. Think ahead people!!!! It might be cute at first, but what is cake for??? Yup... think ahead!!!
Number 2- Why couldn't it just be a binky or a really big diaper? It wouldn't have been so gross.. even the diaper would have been better!!

Korrie said...

OMG that's just sick! LOL And sadly, funny. My 8 yr old son and 10 yr old daughter are laughing hysterically. They want to eat the face. They're weird kids.....it's possible I dropped them as babies. ;-)

SJ said...

Maybe the dingo ate your baby... The dingo, ate your baby.

ecuakim said...

Oh my gosh. That was terrible. Really and truly terrible. I audibly gasped and closed the browser window as fast as I could. Terrible.

The Dream Police Person said...

Jebus, that link scared me! It actually took me about 5 seconds to figure out what it was... But of course hilarious as usual! :D

Nicole said...

Not gonna lie, I cracked up laughing at the end result. I obviously have an absurd sense of humor, lol. Just remember its only a CAKE. A freakishly terrifying cake, but still, yumtastic nonetheless!

Going Postal said...

I would LOVE to have a realistic baby cake at my party. I would shriek with glee and wave the knife all around and make all sorts of slashing motions towards the cake and freak all the normal people out.

And that is what they would all deserve for serving cake at my party. The only cake I like is on this blog. *sigh* I hate cake.

Am I disowned now?

TinkDoll said...

YIKES!!!

Poor decorator. It was great work, but I couldn't eat it.

Fanboy Wife said...

Mmm! I just love soylent cake!

Renee said...

I got the cut up baby first too and now it all makes sense to me.

I screamed when I saw it. LOL!

It reminds me of how on Ace of Cakes Mary Alice said "I don't know why folks order cakes of their dogs...and then cut into them. Kinda sick!" (they usually make them with red velvet cake for the full effect!)

Angie said...

OK, I thought it was a pretty ugly cake right from the get-go, and I can't imagine why anyone would have wanted it in the first place. But one you start cutting it up, well...I'm torn between finding it incredibly disgusting, or finding it hysterically funny and laughing myself silly. Or maybe both.

Jill said...

Dessert, after fava beans and a nice chianti. Seriously, though, this is very wrong.

Carrie Miller said...

After I showed my husband the full array of photos of the infanti-cake-cide, he said (with a straight face) "I hope they enjoyed their cake". I can't imagine serving something like that, not even on Halloween.

Ky said...

Why, oh why did I have to click on that final photo! I should know better after looking at these posts for some time now!

Timba said...

GAH.

Amanda said...

Oh man, what if it were made of red velvet cake? Or angel food cake with STRAWBERRY FILLING? :o

Anonymous said...

When I clicked on the link, the words "Oh God" just flew out of my mouth involuntarily.

Anonymous said...

At least it wasn't red velvet cake.

Belle T said...

This is the ugliest cake I have ever seen. Who makes these??? Who would order this? Looks like Chucky! That last picture?... yurg!

Sarah B said...

Love your puns!

Keeley said...

I showed this to my husband, and he's repeating, ew, ew, ew. I think it's hilarious, especially the cut-up head. The most disturbing thing to me is that the cake itself looks more like cream cheese with parsley rather than a baked good. Or maybe a sushi roll. OK, I admit to having a weird sense of humor.

A said...

The only thing that could be worse than that last pic would be.....*thinks* ...I got nothing. That whole cake is so very wrong on so many levels.

redgirl said...

Aaaah, so THATS what it was.

I thought it was a disturbing carrot. Didn't notice the eyes and lips lol

dominique said...

I am seriously scarred for life. Those people should be ashamed for purchasing such a thing, as well as the sadist baker who made it. Bleh.

Anonymous said...

Brought me back to my old art history class. Replace "baby cake" with "homunculus" and suddenly it's easier to look at.

Margaret said...

Congratulations!

Your site has never, ever grossed me out.

Until now.

That last photo was just....ugh. I wonder if some of the guests left the room and/or lost their appetites and didn't have any cake?

Gary said...

As I keep saying, cannibalism is just not cool/amusing/cute/pretty.

Stop eating babies, you freaks!

Theresa said...

I think it's hilarious! I wish the inside was red velvet cake and the butt end was chocolate. Mmmmm poo diaper :)

Sarah said...

This is insanity! Love your blog!

Miranda said...

Cannibalism FTW? :/

That's really, really disturbing and gross!!!

Taylor Lindsay said...

I think I can safely say that that last picture is one of the scariest friggin`things I`ve ever seen.

MissNay said...

cake died for me today.

i thought the roadkill cakes did it. i really did. then i saw this cake. i can't even use punctuation that's how upset i am.

on a random note, my verification word was spine. no joke.
wow.

Jenni said...

I actually thought when you prefaced that picture with all the warnings.. how bad can it possible be? I enjoy horror movies, gore, etc. How can a cake actually be that disturbing so as to give my nightmares?

Lesson learned. *shudder*

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"At least they cut the head in slices & not quarters."
-----------------------------
Oh, yes. THAT is precisely the distinction that *I* was about to make. (?)
("I'm SO pleased to see that head sliced and not quartered," I would have said. "There's more to go around--smaller pieces, but more OF them. It's more JUST.")

=^g.g^=

(WV: "mennis"...The person who made that cake is a mennis to society.)

Vivian Guest said...

Why, oh, why did I click!? You know what this means don't you? All of us that are having nightmares because of your warning that just made us want to click are going to have to come over to your house to sleep tonight. Please, for the love of all that is holy, serve pie! Cake would just send us over the edge...

(Maybe I shouldn't have stopped seeing the therapist.)

Anonymous said...

I've never posted in the comments before, but really.. WHO DOES THIS? Who cuts into the cute baby cake and EATS IT? After the first cut, how did everyone not run screaming from the room in horror? And who thought, even further, that chopping up the teeny baby face was a good idea, and then took a picture?!
WTF indeed!

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"Old wives tale said that if a mother had a bad scare before delivery something would be wrong with the baby"
~~~~~~~~~~~
The way I heard that one was that the baby would be born with a *mark* in the shape of whatever it was that scared Mom.
There was another OWT about the significance of cravings, but I can't remember how it went.
Maybe it was "If you crave cake, you'll have a baby that looks like a cake that looks like a baby."

Arlene said...

Oh my.. and I just HAD to click that link.. shivers and screams..why oh why must they make cakes like this??? There are no words to describe what I am feeling right now other than horrified and nauseated..must find another wreck to make my mind forget..

Anonymous said...

I'm judging myself now, because I seem to be the only person who actually found that hilarious (for the record, I also don't have children).

Sarah said...

You think that's disturbing... A few months ago I saw this cake actually being cut on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m71U2jJp09w

Anonymous said...

OH DEAR GOD. I think even goatse is less disturbing than that last picture. *shudders*

Anonymous said...

That last pic is kind of a cool illusion actually. Anyone can see it's just a ball of crudely painted cake and fondant, but it's still enough to plunge you into Uncanny Valley for a few seconds.

As for the HORROR!...meh. Fake cake baby face vs. the real thing, intact and screeching through a torrent of mucus. No contest.

WV: extusne - what you say after sneezing on a baby cake, even if there weren't any appetites left to ruin

hazey-sunshine said...

Gah! :)

Anonymous said...

Well, that image is now firmly burned into my memory! I know what kind of dreams I'll be having for the next few weeks.... :-/

Allicat said...

I came, I clicked, I cried.

Actually closed the whole browser in my panic and desperation to get away from that image. Although it does make me wonder, which would be worse, slicing the face or leaving the disembodied head whole...

Althestane said...

@ sarah:
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, that youtube video of this cake being cut is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much worse than the still images! I thought I could keep reminding myself that it's a cake, but i only got 2 seconds in before I closed the laptop. fast.

Tara said...

I was looking at the original post with my three year old daughter on my lap. She commented appropriately at how cute the little baby was.

Then she saw him with a big gash on his side and said, "oh, he's going to have to go to the doctor!"

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