Thursday, April 8, 2010

More Monkey Business

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I don't know where the monkey-themed CCC trend started, but we here at Cake Wrecks think it's just bananas.

I'm having a hard time figuring how those cupcake apendages are supposed to be legs. I mean, even the monkey looks confused. Not good.


Good grief! Well, you know those Hollywood monkey CCCs: Their faces just get more plastic every year.


This next little critter looks less like a monkey and more like my high school French teacher*:

"Monsieur Maurice! You and your poo belly are under arrest! Drop the mustard bottle and hand over the garden hose, s'il vous plait!"

*My high school French teacher was a woman. The resemblance is uncanny. I'm not kidding.


You know what they say: "If it's shaped like a star in a wheelbarrow, then it's just begging for a face and a tail."


I'm pretty sure that's an Irish proverb, Ashlee M., Malisa I., and Jenn & Tim M. Now, quit monkeying around and get back to work!

- Related wreckage: Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo
The Boob Nazi said...

Oh man, the third and fourth ones are TERRIBLE. The third looks like a huge pile o' poo.

DebbraSue said...

Whiskey
Tango
Foxtrot

Aside from the fact that I don't like monkeys, these CCC's have left me totally speechless.

Great job on the commentary, Number 1.

Kathryn H said...

I suppose it's possible, but I've never seen a monkey with a hare-lip.

Anonymous said...

Great Job number one. Loved the french teaching monkey with the mustard bottle.

Frank

WV:lessesse Iwould like to see even lessesse monkey cakes!

Taylor said...

How can we be so sure they were attempting a monkey on the last one?

Diana said...

OK...so if I tilt my head sideways, squint, tap my heels together three times...I can almost believe that the two lighter coloured cup-cakes on #1 are supposed to be the monkey's tummy...what are the two lighted coloured cupcakes supposed to be on the last one?
0-0
(I've been reading Cake Wrecks for too long...haven't I?...I wasn't always this way?)

Katiedickson said...

"If it's shaped like a star in a wheelbarrow, then it's just begging for a face and a tail."

It is indeed an Irish proverb.

The Land of Saints and Scholars prides itself on its CCC-related wisdom.

Fantastic blog, as always. Did you know you have a huge fanbase in Ireland?

WriteCards said...

Oh my goodness! These are just "nasty!"

Gotta laugh at your French rendition:

Monsieur Maurice! You and your poo belly are under arrest! Drop the mustard bottle and hand over the garden hose, s'il vous plait!"

But shouldn't it read, "Monsier Maurice! Vous and zee poo belly are vunder arrest! Drop zee mustard bottle and hand over zee garden hose, s'il vous plait, pretty peas!"

At least, that's how *I* remember French!

WV: faste I think I shall faste from these cakes! I don't do poo!

Kaede said...

I do believe the top and the bottom design are suppose to be the same.

Bronwen said...

I know you live in the Orlando area. Pray tell, you didn't take French at Lake Mary High School, did you? That poo-belly monkey looks awfully familiar...

Allen's Brain said...

Yes, but you DO recognize them as monkeys, so there's *some* success there.

VeggieT said...

wow that last "cake" has got to be the worst CCC ever... ya know that gives me an idea, jen maybe you should stage the "world's worst cake" competition. You could have real bakers wrecking for the prize, and online voting of all the cakes that you've posted...

rick said...

Et en vrais Francais (sort of, comme ci - comme ca) courtesy of Google translator (since my last French class was in 1973):

Maurice monsieur! Vous et votre ventre poo sont en état d'arrestation! Drop la bouteille de moutarde et de la main sur le tuyau d'arrosage, please vous plaît! "

wv: hadessin
I wish I never hadessin that pooh monkey CCC!

D Dennis said...

I was thinking, 'It's more like monkey droppings,' the whole time. And I was ready to duck just in case one of those chimps decided to start throwing it.

wv: seenasi--I don't know about you, but I seenasi monkey poo all over this one.

Mrs Mom said...

I think we had the same French teacher in high school..... nightmares!!!

Your French Teacher said...

"My high school French teacher was a woman. The resemblance is uncanny. I'm not kidding."

I also happen to read Jen's blog. Sorry "Number 1," I’m afraid a review of your final exam reveals you in fact failed my class. As of this moment you are a credit short of the state requirements and your status as a high school graduate is suspended until you make it up. If you hurry you should be able to register in time for summer school. See you in June!

Anonymous said...

Hell is monkey poo...

Onyx said...

Those were monkeys?? I gotta get new glasses!
All they really needed to add was mohawk baby carrot jockeys.

Yeah! That's the ticket

Tricia said...

So wrong, so very, very wrong. Bakeries would do well to print out some of these CWs (complete with comments) and create a book of what NOT to do. Every trainee must sit and look at the book for one entire day. The last page should read:

"Cupcake cakes are evil. Never make a cupcake cake. Never. Ever."

(Just finished icing two dozen cupcakes for meeting tonight. Plain cream cheese frosting, no sprinkles, no coconut, no flotsum, no dusting of anything. Thought of you, Jen, the whole time I was icing them. That's just sick.)

burton said...

Tragically, "Poo Monkey" leads the pack in terms of recognizable ape anatomy.

This trend of bakeries celebrating monkey deformity is deplorable. As is the fact that I can't say "monkey deformity" with a straight face.

Meaghan said...

I kinda think the French Monkey is cute!

Keeley said...

Ah, it's good to be back at Cake Wrecks! My life got crazy as hell and I have been away since December. But yesterday and today I have been checking out the archives and reminding myself why I love your blog. Thank you thank you, with tears of joy in my eyes.

Anonymous said...

That last one completely boggles my mind. How could anyone think that looks like a monkey? It looks like something under a microscope lens. A strange virus with a star-shaped, smiling amoeba nearby, perhaps, but a monkey?!? Seriously? I hope the baker labeled the box for people so they wouldn't have to guess.

-Holly

Anonymous said...

Monsieur Maurice looks like some bug with a belly stinger.
They're all horrors.
Mocking

WV:bedica
Maurice might be a bedica bug...

amanda said...

oh my gosh, we had the same french teacher!

aw "revoir"

Anonymous said...

The icing on the last one actually looks yummy...so rich and chocolatey. Poor Chernobyl monkeys.

trek said...

Piles of monkey-poo on cakes.
What next?

Anonymous said...

Your french teacher was a woman named Monsieur Maurice?...explains a lot....

jj said...

Thanks so much to whoever made the last monkey, for putting an extra line of poo icing over the individual poo swirls. That way, there is an indication they meant that big mess of cupcakes to be a tail. Otherwise, I never would have guessed.

FabFrugalFood said...

All monkeys are French, of course. (Anyone?)

Am I the only one who sees something obscene about those two tan cupcakes in the middle of the last one's body?

Cupcake Vigilante said...

um... ok, so that last one... are those two lighter brown cupcakes supposed to be a monkey BUTT?! Cuz that's sure what it looks like to me... (_)_) !!!

http://cupcakevigilante.blogspot.com

Cheri said...

I would say that these bakeries should just give up, but then there's be no reason for me to snort my coffee from my nose each morning when I visit Cakewrecks.

Anonymous said...

I hate those stoopid poo monkeys.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

Ummm, yeah. Of course those look like monkeys. Sure. Mmmmkay. 0_o

(I know the last one could be poo-riffic but that's the FIRST one that actually looks like tasty chocolate icing. The first out of HOW many?? Whereas M. Maurice looks like...a pile of poo. =P )

WV: quetsmon--"No questmon! Dat's no monkey, mon!"

vanessa said...

There's no right way to eat a rhesus, is there?

ara marie said...

Wow. I miss normal looking cupcakes. What's wrong with just icing them and putting some sprinkles on them?

The monkeys are the final straw.

Anonymous said...

Did anybody else notice that some of these cakes were laid in a very similar pose and yet look so different?

WV: quethip
That's what wreckers need for cleaning up their ears and listen closely to the customer's instructions!

Zoey said...

I have heard of monkey flinging poo, but never a poo belly. So wrong...

Erin N.

sendingtheclowns said...

Judging by the sorta stunned and loopy expression on its face, the only thing ("the ONLY," she says...HAH!!)
that first one needs are those little pictures of stars and squiggles spinning over its head (like in the cartoons, you know) to indicate that the stupid thing has been severly beaten up. That would make it PERFECT.
The second one should be labeled: Reduced CALORIE (and flavor) -90% recycled plastic.

I'm scaring myself thinking that these things were made by real monkeys.
(It's scary because they may not know the minimum wage laws.)

And @ Anon who said: "I hope the baker labeled the box for people so they wouldn't have to guess." Heh heh... you're funny. Labeling the box is the LEAST of THAT baker's problems...

=^@.@^=

Malia said...

what I wanna know, has anyone ever actually bought and had the stomach to eat one of those "poo" looking cakes?

Abby Normal said...

FabFrugalFood said...
All monkeys are French, of course. (Anyone?)

-------------

Ha! Le singe est dans l’arbre.

Stephanie said...

in general, one should consider that any use of brown frosting swirled, stacked or larger than a quarter is going to look like poo.

Anonymous said...

Merde!

C'est un gâteau à saveur de merde de singe enseignante de français

Marcy W. said...

Wow! That last one is NOT EVEN CLOSE!! What are those two light-colored cupcakes in the middle supposed to be? Or do we not want to know?

Love the French monkey with the mustard bottle. You always make me smile (and laugh out loud)!

WV: wineren - You will not find a wineren this bunch of cakes.

Christy said...

Oh my, those are horrifying poop monkeys, lol. For some reason I am getting a chewbacca feel from the first one.

Larisa said...

my 5 yr old just said, "What in the what?!" I had to tell him what the cakes were supposed to be.

sendingtheclowns said...

I *meant* "severely".
"Severly" would mean that its head- or something- was cut off.
Which is not a bad idea, though, is it?

Lori said...

I am disappointed...so many monkeys, but none of them have wings!

Anonymous said...

"Macaques au merde"

Is it just me or that really sounds better than it is?

Anonymous said...

My question is, who would go in to the store and say, "Hey, what I am really looking for today is a cake shaped like a monkey"? What would be the correct occasion for a monkey cake?

basho said...

Um...
Oh never mind!

beesus said...

The plastic-faced monkey is not unlike the mask a serial killer might don before having at his victims....which is the opposite of delicious, unless you are insane.

Anonymous said...

Ever wonder what happens to the "wreckerators" who get fired for screwing up cakes? Check out the San Francisco Jersey here: http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/san-francisco-giants-eugenio-velez-jersey-misspelling-040710?GT1=39002.

Cake Genie said...

I want to start a campaign - NO MORE Chocolate Swirl CC's to be piped with a plain nozzle - no matter what, they all end up looking like a pile of poo. Whosoever started this trend should be force-fed Monkey CCC's till they burst. This may conjure up some nasty pictures in your mind, but probably not as bad as some of the wrecks !
WV - scurami - the ancient art of folding scuba diving suits !
(sorry if this appears twice - this is my first comment & not sure I'm doing it right !)

Shalmeno said...

@ Anonymous: "Poor Chernobyl monkeys" and @ Vanessa: "There's no right way to eat a rhesus." My co-worker just came over to make sure I was okay; I was laughing so loudly. Thank you - I needed that!!!

Fanboy Wife said...

Are those two light colored circles on the right the monkey's butt?

burton said...

Vanessa,
I am humbled by the brilliance of your question.

snuzzle said...

The saddest part is I'm pretty sure CCCs 1, 2, and 4 are all from the same "pattern". If you squint real hard at #1, you'll see what I mean.

Lilly said...

The first one's actually kinda cute once you figure out where the limbs are.

WV: croaf--the sound I am making looking at these

Cheri said...

You know it's bad when your daughter looks at the picture and says, 'That looks like a dog.' To which you reply, 'It's supposed to be a MONKEY.' And she states, 'Whoa! Seriously?!? It looks like VERY bad dog.'
And, SHE'S 6!

Anonymous said...

I'm finding it easier to imagine that most of these cakes (apart from your french teacher) are not monkeys but dogs- brown poodles.
I'm not sure what kind of guidance on the design is given but a CCC is a lot like looking for star signs in the night sky- a lot of imagination required! Of course, stars a pretty whereas these cakes are not.

WV gabityr
Just gabityr here and there, put some chocolate frosting on it and I'll be a monkey's uncle, you made a wreck!

Banana said...

very impressed that you got 'monkey' out of that last CCC... it's like one of those gaudy images you have to squint at to see the sailboat

Anonymous said...

A lot of us must have had a very scary French teacher for Maurice to remind us of her!

Every time I look at that picture, all I see are poo logs for limbs! It's just gross!

The rest just leave me speechless.

---Ashley

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"Did anybody else notice that some of these cakes were laid in a very similar pose and yet look so different?"
~~~~
Hmmmmm...(How to put this delicately...?)...I guess it's the variety that makes it exciting. Or perhaps the challenge of the new conquest while exhibiting a *fixation* for a particular, repetative quirk of some nature...or
or...

Gypsy said...

Now I go to sleep and dream
of cakes topped off with whipping cream
and laugh my way through cakery wrecks
monkeys, lambs and wedding hex.
I thank you so for all these things
that bring me smiles, give my heart wings!
Sigh. You are the best medicine!
Aryd'ell in Western NC

Chakolate said...

Hey, Jen!

I was surfing the intarwebs and found what I believe to be a picture of you as a child:

http://babiesmakingfaces.com/2010/04/07/funny-baby-pictures-eats-a-birthday-cake/

You were such a cutie!

Chakolate

Lanae Brown said...

If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey, even if it has a monkey kind of shape. If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey, if it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey it's an ape!

Monica said...

The first one isn't SO bad, comparatively speaking...except for the body, but the head's pretty good...well, kind of. Ah, who am I kidding? They're all full of poo.

Bethany said...

My two year old loves monkeys. So I showed her these pictures, and here are her comments, in order of the photos:
1. "Is that a monkey?"
2. "Oh, that's a monkey!"
3. "Um, that's NOT a monkey."
4. "That's not a monkey, that's a... starfish?"

Yeah, I think she's right.

Arlene said...

Blargh! Those "monkey" CCC's are the ugliest bunch of poo a wreckerator can come up with at least as far as I have seen. Yuck who on earth could even stay in the same room with them without either laughing or trying not to gag? Brown frosting is never a good idea to decorate anything apparently since it always ends up looking like poop!

CookieMonster said...

"Monsieur Maurice! You and your poo belly are under arrest! Drop the mustard bottle and hand over the garden hose, s'il vous plait!"

hysterical!

Wolvie Girl said...

So why were the monkeys flinging poo at the cakes?

Jenna said...

i am LOVING that fireman cake. such priceless idiocy went into that!

El Stupido said...

Oh, wow. I didn't realize that was a monkey until the 4th time I read that post. :/

Barbara Anne said...

vanessa said...
There's no right way to eat a rhesus, is there?


OMG- that's hysterical!! (I ate a Reeses PNut Butter cup earlier)

Actually, if these were all of monkey butts they'd be a LOT better looking...

Christina said...

My 3 year old just came over and asked what was on that last CCC. I said "It's a monkey." She says No, it's more like a starfish and a bunch of seashells. And she's been pretty forgiving about some of the wrecks in the past.

Scarlett Robyn said...

Apart from the Monkey face I couldn't tell that the last one was actually a monkey. Or a cake, for that matter.
Funny as always,thanx!

Ally said...

POO BELLY! I'm dying with laughter. Love it.

clan of the cave hair said...

I'm just a little unnerved by the pornographic nature of those monkey balls...i mean cupcakes

StaCee said...

ok... as my husband tells me daily, i'm going to hell... but why is it that 2 of those monkeys are showing their butts and giving "come hither" smiles? what kind of sick person makes a monkey like that?

Jason Legler said...

Oh my god, the commentary on these is just brilliant. I'm still giggling 10 minutes later.