Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Literal Letter of the Law

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

On the plus side, at least we know these bakeries are taking notes.


Aw, nuts.

Ok, so they have no idea what the notes mean, but they are taking them.


"Bring it in the a.m."

Heh. And I thought *I* wasn't a morning person.


Ah, the mind of a Wreckerator.

"It's a good thing they're buying a big sheet cake; otherwise there's no way this would all fit!"

(Note: those clover-looking things in "40th" are supposed to be hearts.)




Michele K., Sandy S., & Laurisa R., you know what these Wrecks need? More candles. Srsly. Step it up, ladies.

- Related Wreckage: The Problem with Phone Orders
The Boob Nazi said...

I just don't understand how they don't realize what they're doing!

Taylor said...

I'm such a child. I can't stop laughing at the fact that someone named "Peter" has a "Nuts Allergy." How unfortunately ironic.

Kashmir said...

* sigh * * shakes head *

Fredjonesiii said...

You have GOT to be kidding me. Are people REALLY this stupid? How much common sense does it take to fill one of these orders? If someone's not sure that something should be on a cake, wouldn't you at least CALL the client to ask?! Jeesh! Sometimes I just want to grab these bakers' shoulders and shake them until their (dried-up) brains rattle.

Gary said...

I'm unreasonably amused by the fact that the first cake is an obvious rip-off of the "Thomas" design from yesterday's wrecks.

It also reminds me of when I started my current job, and was sent out of town for a week of training. The same intern who had been in charge of travel arrangements made a name-and-address directory of everybody in the program, including the new people. On the directory that was printed out and distributed to everybody, next to my name was, "Non-smoking room- allergic to cigarette smoke."
Just in case any of my co-workers want to invite me for a sleep-over, I guess.

Philangelus said...

The horrible thing about the "nuts allergy" cake is their complete incomprehension of what to do about it, meaning the cake is most likely NOT nut-safe despite the fact that it was specified on the order form.

I certainly wouldn't feed that cake to a nut-allergic child after seeing those words printed on it.

Yes, it's funny that they wrote it, but not so funny if the kid anaphylaxes because of a cakewreck

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

bAH! i just fell out of my chair

Anonymous said...

ok so to me cake #2 looks like it says "Bang it in the morning"....which leads us down an entirely different path altogether...

One Girl in All The World said...

I sincerely hope that the "bakers" that piped these cakes don't speak English very well (or at all!) and were just copying letter for letter what the instruction sheet said.
That's the only plausible excuse I can think of.
Otherwise....well they do say stupidity knows know bounds. Or indifference, as the case may be.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Don't you think you should have a basic understanding of syntax and the English language before you can be allowed to write on a cake?!

Shameful! And hysterical!!!

Lauren Borquez said...

LOL These are my all time favorite type of blunders I just laughed really loud and randomly in frount of the customer at my desk :)

Al, Wendy, Max, and Lil said...

Our friend was in charge of ordering a beautiful, engraved vase for a retiring boss. It was a large silver vase. They engraved it. The last line of the engraving said "and for any questions about this order call Mikki at 555-1234" WHAT are they thinking?!

KatjaMouse said...

Jen. I'm positive new submissions have been corrupted. I'm sure that most bakeries across the country have started posting your best work in their break room and decide to let a couple of intentional wrecks slip juuuust in case they end up on your site. I bet somewhere there's a Safeway decorator patting herself on the back right now for "Bring it in the a.m."

Baker's Cakes said...

Apparently 40th can NOT have a <3 as an "0" ...

Sarah said...

You know, even though the wording on the first cake is abominable, the rest of the cake is really well done! It makes me think of what yesterday's cakes should have (mostly) looked like!

TheUnlikelyTriathlete said...

The second and third cakes look like they were done by the same person; great job with the pathetically sparse streamers and sprinkles! At least other than the lettering, the first one was pretty decent.

In other news, even if the people decorating don't read English that well, wouldn't their bosses know that and... oh, never mind, obviously I am using waaaaaay too much actual thought here.

ksaldria said...

I don't know which of these hurts my head more :(

WendyMom said...

Um- am I the only one who though it said "Bang" it in the am? Nice, very nice.....

wv: trifu- I would much rather have a trifu than any one of these wrecks!

Swan said...

I don't see the 'i' dotted in the word 'bring'. Is it 'bring'? Or 'bang'? Maybe...maybe it is a note of encouragement for Mike to do well at something the next day? "Good luck in that race tomorrow, bang it in the am!"

Or...maybe the jeep cake is a reminder note? "Bang it [the jeep] in the morning, preferably with a baseball bat, and turn the key gently three times to the left while the wheels are turned all the way to the right or it won't start." ?

YogaGal in the NW said...

CLASSIC CAKE WRECKS!!! These should make it into your next book.

Anonymous said...

Well, at least they got one of the 40ths right on that last cake...you know what they say, 3rd times the charm.

Miranda said...

WTF, people. Are they sleepwalking?

Also, it looks like Cake 2 says "Bang it in the A.M."

SO NOT GOING THERE

Anonymous said...

You just can't fix stupid (which is probably a good thing; just think of all the wrecks we'd be missing if you could!). The "Thomas" wreckie from yesterday needs to meet today's "Thomas" wreckie to see how it's done. Sort of.

WV:avedea - Do any of these people avedea as to what they wrote?

Jennie said...

That first one is really a shame... it was SO CLOSE to actually being a very lovely cake!!

VeggieT said...

*crying*

Amelia and Justin said...

I've been reading this blog for a few months now, but this is the first time I've posted.

I just have a hard time believing that there are this many stupid people in the world. It makes me a little sad to think about it. So, instead I think I'll go eat a piece of cake to make myself feel better.

Sheila Bennett said...

[shaking head] These 'literal' wrecks never cease to amaze me. How can anyone NOT pay any attention to what they are reading/writing on a cake??

VeggieT said...

I'm just wondering if the ones who take the orders, and the ones who actually decorate the cakes are different people? and to further this idea I'm also wondering if the ones taking the order understand English, and the ones decorating the cakes only pretend to understand English, thus causing them to simply copy down everything that was written. Just wonderin'

Albatross said...

Are you kidding me?? How could they not know what not to put on the cake? That is just ridiculous.

Scarlett said...

This made me laugh out loud!!! Who ARE these people?!

Cottagecheap said...

Am I the only mom who thinks if my kid had a nut allergy...I wouldn't buy ANY storebought cake. The tiniest trace of nut or oil can cause a reaction. Seriously mom...making a cake at home...way less time than an ER visit...or worse....

Anonymous said...

I must say that, with the exception of the added "nuts allergy", the thomas the tank engine cake is fantastically executed...especially considering the wreck in the prior article! The penmanship is nice too! C'mon, give them some credit!

LeftWingLock said...

Way to rub it in that he is 40 by mentioning it 3 times on his cake...

Jenn said...

Yeah, they seem stupid, but for all the baker knew, it was an inside joke. I have put seemingly nonsensical phrases on cakes in the past for jokes that only the people getting the cake would get.

I honestly blame the people who put in the order. The order form usually says 'PUT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT THE CAKE TO SAY'. Obviously they're not following that one simple rule.

Sparky said...

I want a t-shirt with that last cake on it.

...Despite the fact I don't know how it would fit. Maybe happy 40th on the front, and the...rest...on the back?

You're right, it's a good thing the customer wanted a sheet cake for all of that text!

Robin said...

Baker 1 "Oh this Thomas cake is done? Looks good, now we just need to do the lettering."
Baker 2 "Yeah here's the order slip. It says **NUT ALLERGY** really big, underlined with asterisks. You think they want that on the cake, so they can identify it?"
Baker 1 "I dare ya."

Anonymous said...

my brain hurts....

Fluffy Cow said...

*facepalm*

Little Lovables said...

Wow, some crazy things going on right here. I sincerely hope they don't charge extra for all of the words they have to pipe on.

wundermary said...

Is that dude posing with a bed of nails?

Sara MK said...

I just ordered the Cake Wreck book - CANNOT WAIT! I love checking the blog each day to see what giggles I can get!

Katy said...

Another vote here for the idea that the people who wrote these don't speak English. There is no way you could write all of that in ICEING and not notice it.

And yes, job well done on cake number one. Even if the kid with nut allergies won't be eating it. :)

Etiquette Bitch said...

I love that on the last CW, the directions illustrate what they wanted, but in the actual inscription, they didn't execute properly.

Etiquette Bitch said...

ps- i'm with anonymous who thought the tractor cake said, "Bang it in the a.m." Whee!

Anonymous said...

writing on the SIDE of the cake. that's creative. *ahem*

Blue mud on the tires? how did that happen? messy messy. maybe it'c icing.

I wonder if they made the first cake nut free or just made a note of it? I'll have to warn my sister-in-law....her son has a nut allergy.

I could just see some idiot wreckerator doing this to my sister. she'd need a gluten (wheat) free cake. And I bet it would have a note, but still be made of flour so my niece couldn't eat it.

Michelle S said...

I am just amazed that there are this many wrecks out there! Don't people think?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

wv: diter
these cake samples should diter anyone from ordering a cake from these wreckerators.

Anonymous said...

lol @ Taylor--good point! would that make the Peter with the nuts allergy uncomfortable or what? maybe it's a case for a eunuch.

Anonymous said...

Anon: "ok so to me cake #2 looks like it says "Bang it in the morning"....which leads us down an entirely different path altogether..."

you just gave me an image from the American Pie movie. and the boy, and the pie... *shudder*

I wonder if it has a custard and banana filling? *smirk*

Rebecca said...

So, I submitted the 40th bday cake at the bottom (not sure who Larissa is).

Yes, it's a bed of nails. George the Giant, sideshow performer at your service. www.georgethegiant.com :)

His wife didn't fill out the form wrong, she wrote the directions in the "INSTRUCTIONS" box, along with the directive to have the photo cover the top of the cake. They actually shrunk an 8x10 down to 5x7. No idea where they got that from.

Brought to you by Costco.

Anonymous said...

Clearly, "stupid is as stupid does."

Vinca Leaf Quilts said...

LOL...somebody beat me to the punch on Peter's 'nut allergy'.

Oh, Cake Wrecks...how I missed thee!

I think the bakers at my local Wal-Cake are getting suspicious. When they see me, they're overly eager to help me. I can no longer take furtive pictures to decide if they're wreck worthy or not...

lisadh said...

I think cake 1 should be the cover of the next book: well executed decorating, ill-advised writing.

Classic wrecks, Jen!

DCBecca said...

Is it, perhaps, customary for the chain-food bakers to do several rounds of shots prior to the days' decorating?? I just can't get my head around how someone could miss the instructions versus the message.

Stay in school, kids!

Alyssa said...

I also thought the second cake said "bang it in the am". Lol. Sooooo lol. Who doesn't like to bang their cake in the am?

jengersnap said...

I love how George the Giant's candles stick up at you just like the nails he's laying on in the photo. At least the wreckorator was sharp on that one!

Jaye said...

While they may be taking notes, they aren't following them! The 0 in the 40th cake is SUPPOSED to be a heart and yet it is just a plain '0' lol....eh..at least they wrote out the instructions so you can squint your eyes and PRETEND that 0 is a heart! :)

Anonymous said...

Heh. I read it as "Bang it in the AM." Probably thanks to Peter and his nuts allergy. Heh.

Freakin Loon said...

I too read "Bang it in the AM."

Lori said...

I really don't know where they're finding these people to employ. I work in a Jewel-Osco, and the college students who work in our bake shop do WAY better than this. I have yet to find a wreck worthy cake in 3+ years of working there. The closest I've come was a giant cookie with "happy bithday".

SimplySweeter said...

O.!
M.!
G.!

Stoich91 said...

Oh. Oh! *Candles!* That's what those things are in the last picture. Gee, and I thought the twirly colorful ones were overkill... Well, we either have some very smart aleck-wise-guys running America's bakeries or a bunch of, well, you get the drift. The cakes say it all...literally. :D sigh

Sara said...

These have to be made by someone who doesn't speak English. There can be no other reason why anyone would think that's what the customer wanted.

rerun said...

i love wrecks like today's posts....
it could happen......

Mia said...

Cakes 1 and ckes 2 are sitting on the same counter!

Kimberly said...

I also thought it was "Bang it in the am" which sounds like a bad come-on line!

WV: gesims: what you have when you bang it in the a.m.

Kelly's Clay Creations said...

That is hilarious! Too busy, over worked, tired, or just dumb? oh my.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
ok so to me cake #2 looks like it says "Bang it in the morning"....which leads us down an entirely different path altogether..."


I'm so glad I wasn't the only one that read it like that! I laughed hysterically just at that for a good five minutes!

Anonymous said...

I ordered ur book, Cant wait!

Ashley said...

I love the jeep one. I know it says "Bring it in the a.m." but it looks like it says "BANG it in the a.m." lol and peter...nuts allergy...I've died and gone back to seventh grade.

K said...

The 2nd cake looks like 'Bang it in the air' .................haha!

thisisstar said...

Okay, I'm going to be the first to bring this up.

I see you're started to watermark your photos with your URL.

I have no problem with this.

What I do have a problem with, is that you did it in quite possibly the world's most loathed font, Papyrus. (okay, second most--most loathed is comic sans)

Papyrus is like the cake wreck of the design world.

For examples:
http://www.papyruswatch.com/
http://www.ihatepapyrus.info/blog/

Please, I beg of you, change the font you use to watermark with.

Do not sully the sheer awesomeness of this blog. Because Cake Wrecks is awesome, and papyrus is not.

signorafosca said...

I thought the heart was a Mickey Mouse head, actually.

BentoMakingMelissa said...

Good grief. Where, oh where!, did these wreckerators leave their brains?
Talk about just "going through the motions" - they obviously aren't THINKING about what they are writing on the cakes.
Sheesh.

The Shitty Astrologer said...

Cake Decorator Vertigo Batterhead Syndrome is very serious...

Anonymous said...

Hey, at least #2 got sprinkles

-Lisa F.

Kore said...

I bet these make great inside jokes. I can just see these famiy members high fiving each other and saying "Bring it in the a.m.!"

Fanboy Wife said...

Wouldn't you at least realize the error halfway though icing the words? How can they seriously sell these cakes with a straight-face?

Mary Connealy said...

I read that last cake, and your note and the cake and your note and the cake...repeat about ten times before I got it.

I don't think cakes are supposed to be that hard. The hard...alone...should have clued in the decorator.

sarah said...

ironically they came so close to getting yesterday's train cake right ...

Emily said...

I looked at wreck #2 and could have sworn it said "Bang it in the morning."

Vicky said...

I love your blog, it starts my day out with a laugh - thanks

melissa klyce said...

hahahaha i thought it said "bang it in the AM"... i was trying to figure out what possible occasion this could mark...

Anonymous said...

These are my favorite type of wreck. It's like they're zombie icers - just writing exactly what they see without any brain activity at all.

-Holly

Summer said...

The 40th birthday cake is my favorite wreck of all. Kudos to that wreckorator. They got it so spectacularly wrong it boggles the mind.

That said, I would proudly display that one at my party. What a conversation starter.

alvina g(ee) said...

these cakes made me laugh out loud; First time in awhile I haven't relied on the fabulous commentary to make me laugh! love these ones. So hilarious :)

jillb-ilslp said...

Mike is 16, after all, so I'm pretty sure "Bang it in the a.m." works.

Tina said...

The first cake was not wreck until "Nuts Allergy" was so nicely piped over the greeting! What a tragedy!

peewee said...

it's amazing to me that the wreckerator on the first cake can have SUCH good writing, and yet, apparently can't actually READ.

JonB said...

I read the tractor cake as a challenge: "Bring it in the a.m." Like he's being challenged to tractor pull at dawn.

Marie said...

I also read cake #2 to say bang it in the a.m. Lol what I can't believe is where did they find these people and why did they hire them to decorate cakes??? My birthday is coming up soon and as I think about ordering a cake I am suddenly very very afraid.

angie and tyler said...

it has to be someone that doesn't speak english so they are just copying the letters.

Ophelia The Princess said...

I see I wasn't the only one to see "Bang it in the a.m." - I was wondering for a moment if it was really an appropriate cake for a child.

Mira said...

That one cake looked like "Bang it in the am". And that's what I'd do if I got a cake like that. Bang it right upside someone's head.

Handful of Love said...

I think the morning cake says "Bang it in the morning" which just makes it even funnier!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else see "Flappy Birthday" on the first cake or was that just me? Guess it's better than "flabby" but still...

Sheila said...

Hmmm, maybe the people decorating these cakes don't read or write English?

Mary T. said...

If I got the "Bring it in the AM" cake, my mom would just say that she was encouraging me to get up earlier.

That's actually a pretty cool way of saying it, imo. Especially since the monster truck cake makes me read it in a super-manly announcer voice.

BRING IT IN THE AM!

sjjannen said...

Glad I'm not the only one to read "Bang it in the a.m." Although, I suppose it could be a nice little note of encouragement.

Shell said...

Just a quick note -

"Bring it in the am" has become a catch-phrase in my household, just as "Nappy Blob Blob" has... Excellent find!

Michele

Anonymous said...

Bring it? Because I distinctly see Bang it in the am. Not that there's much difference. Maybe they should just make brownies?

Kristi said...

"Bring it on the AM" also looks like it could say "Bang it on the AM"

Gale said...

My thoughts:

Slightly worried the first cake might have had nuts in it (since they obviously didn't get the gist)

OK, I can see where "bring it in the am" might actually by a stretch of the imagination be something you could put on a cake (you like jeep riding early? bring it on!)

BUT that last one! NO ENGLISH spoken in the decorating section of that bakery, I'm guessing. In fact, I'm guessing a language with a whole 'nother character set, like Chinese.

Iron Chef Kosher! said...

I am the most stunned by the first one. Professionally done, looks beautiful - impeccable - even the writing is lovely. And yet someone that intelligent couldn't figure out that "nut allergy" was NOT FOR the cake??? That's the ultimate face-palm.

LB said...

Taylor: Nope. I thought it too and am ROFLMAO.

AnnaBanana said...

See now, in the second one, I saw "Bang it in the morning."

Uhm, well, that's nice, but not appropriate for a 15 year old's cake...

Amy S. said...

I laughed so hard at "Bang it in the am," my husband came across the room to see what was so funny. Needless to say, I think I've heard "bang it in the am!" about 30times since . . .
And I'm with 2nd Poster Taylor: "Peter" has a "nut allergy." Oh, god. I can't breathe.

Anonymous said...

So, I work in a bakery and sometimes the decorators will make mistakes like misread a sloppily written letter, but come on... 1) How could they not look at that and think, "Hmmm... I don't think they wanted that part about making the zero look like a heart on the cake..." and 2) what kind of order forms are they using?? Ours have a CLEAR place for what you want written and what is supposed to be decoration. I just don't get it... did they not stop and say hey, did you want all of this written on there??

Anonymous said...

I do cakes... and some of the orders that are taken are unbelievable. IF i did what they wrote i'd be on cake wrecks

Anonymous said...

I think this is probably an issue of the relationship to the manager. The manager got sick of answering questions, and sick of mistakes. S/he said, "JUST WRITE WHAT'S ON THE ORDER!" in a scary and final way. The employees felt powerless to respond, except through subtle passive-aggressive cake decorating.

Anonymous said...

becca says...
when I worked in a bakery, we had a cake decorator, but the people who worked the counter were also expected to be able to write on the cakes. So anyone who could count to a dozen was allowed to have at the frosting tubes... probably explains how a really nicely done cake can have some nonsensical inscriptions.

Anonymous said...

I thought it said "BANG it in the morning"

Who doesn't like a little in the morning?

Lorena said...

Am I the only one who thought the truck cake said "BANG it in the a.m.?"

Cupcakes Lady said...

"Bang it in the AM." Thats what it reads to me lol ;) xx

ali said...

hmm i like them...

Anonymous said...

Ok, i am really starting to think that some people are doing this on purpose now to get on the blogs! These are little extreme in their stupidity.

Alexis said...

Completely besides the point of the cakes..........why is that guy leaning on a bed of nails in cake #3?

Anonymous said...

it is possible the baker doesnt speak english ... he or she says write message ... n ppl write nothing special or nut allergy ... it will obv trip them up ... n these pictures could come from anywhere in the world

Anonymous said...

My Daughter told me about this site every time I read these I have to close the door so as not to wake my husband I am giggling so loud. You see he works in a grocery store so he sleeps days and works nights. Your going to get me in serious trouble but keep it up. Please!!!!!Many times you have brought me to tears with laughter. I worked in a store bakery so I have been witness to these wrecks.. lololololololol

Anonymous said...

Anje

Bad supervision in the kitchen of non English-speaking decorators. Still makes LMAO. And yeah, Peter with a nuts allergy.... Poor kid.