Friday, February 5, 2010

Happy Wending!

Friday, February 5, 2010

So Jen and I are in Texas, a state which apparently holds a deep and sordid hatred for me. See, I'm sick. Not dying-in-the-hospital sick but sick, nonetheless. And it's cold. And wet. And in the past week, we've moved ten thousand pounds of knick-knacks across Texas which, it turns out, takes approximately 7,000 hours to drive through, the whole time praying we don't plow into some random cow or windmill. Oh yeah... did I mention Jen's a bit grumpy?

So I'm doing today's wreck, and I'm pretty much just gonna rant. Let me set the stage:

Expensive wedding in the Philippines.
The finest catering.
The perfect beach setting.

And this:


I know, right? I feel the same way. But what I want to know is how hard is it, when you're on a freaking tropical island, to find fruit that isn't so close to being rotten that it makes your kids tipsy. And what's with the icing?!? I've iced a few cakes in my time and I've never seen anything like that. I take that back. Last week, my cat licked my shmeared bagel when I wasn't looking and it looked a lot like that. I mean seriously people!

*propping self up in hotel bed*

And another thing!

...

Nah... that's enough. Just one last thing: I've met a ton of Texans while I've been here and one thing is true of them all: they're all so stinkin' nice. What I want to know is how do you stay that way when your state is constantly trying to KILL YOU?!?!?!?!

*ABLEMFTHPTHGAK!!!*
(me sneezing)
(yet again)

Thanks to Erica.

Related Wreckage: Tour Wreck
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Anonymous said...

This is it. the state makes you nice ...or... 100 degrees for 2 months!! try coming in august...yuck! but you have to be nice...

Kate said...

Allergies and winter in Texas really are the worst things about this state. Come back in the spring. Then all you'll have to deal with is the allergies! Hope you feel better!

Yellow Rose said...

Sorry you're sick-but like most commenters said, allergy season is in full swing & kicking all our butts (natives & foreigners alike). I second some of the recommendations of tex-mex, barbecue,margaritas & beer, and you definitely need to get you a few half-gallons of Blue Bell ice cream "the best ice cream in the country". Hope you feel better soon!

ManilaWeddingVenues said...

Get well soon. I love your jokes haha lol

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

The only time Texas has tried to kill me since i've been here is when I first got here 11 years ago from Milwaukee. I went to Palo Duro State Park in the panhandle and they had horses for rent. I was going to rent one and asked where the guide and the trail were located. After they gave me a blank look they told me that one simply rents a horse and takes off into the canyon on one's own for as long as one likes. Now I had ridden a horse or two in Wisconsin on a girl scout trip at age 11, but they didn't ask me my level of experience. Later that day, sans horse, I got lost and became convinced that Texas would let me die in that canyon after dark. I escaped just in time.

By the way, you're not sick, it's allergies. It just feels like being sick. Exactly like it.

Jo-Momma said...

WOW, rotten fruit! Seriously, I stink at making cakes and I think I could have made smoother icing.
BTW, the people that have said TX is the state for allergies, they are so right. A local allergist here said he PICKED East Texas because he knew he'd never be poor here, lol.

Sabrina said...

Now we know what a stucco cake looks like. Maybe it was actually intended as a home-warming gift: they can patch their ceilings once the ceremony is over.

Diane said...

I'm sure the fruit is of superior taste and quality and all, but... hello, fruit presentation? Maybe they should've thought of things such as peels and cores and not been so slapdash with putting WHOLE FRUITS ON THE CAKES.

Born & raised Texan here and I take two allergy meds a day on top of the prescriptions I use to regulate my asthma. We're sweet because we funnel all our aggression into our roadside behavior; by the time we've driven to wherever we were going, we have nothing but sweetness and light inside us.

That and the witheringly hot summers; they're hot enough to chasten and humble even a Donald Trump type. I laugh when someone complains about a hot summer day = 90 degree highs. Hello 105 with about 5,000% humidity!

Chrystal M. Smith said...

My son called this a "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" cake.

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