Friday, February 26, 2010

Clean-Up on Aisle 12

Friday, February 26, 2010

Parental Note: Today's Wreck may expand your child's vocabulary in some unsavory ways.


When Steve S.'s coworker received a transfer to a different branch, the store decided to get the coworker a going-away cake. The inscription was your typical "You make our store better!" kind of thing.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem, no matter how badly the Wreckerator mangles the inscription.

But then, normally the company in question is NOT BJ's Wholesale Club.



Which, naturally, someone chose to abbreviate.




Lunch break just got awkward.


I would like to point out that Steve submitted this Wreck because "better" looks like "bitter" - and he thought that was funnily appropriate. And it is, but clearly Steve's mind did not go to the gutter where the rest of ours are. (More's the pity.)



- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job
The Boob Nazi said...

hahahahahaha I love it.

Julia Spencer said...

That only makes it funnier! :) HA!

I Figured I'd Say It First... Sarcastically said...

Okay, I'll go first...

How dare you corrupt everyone's minds! This is disgusting and vulgar and MY KIDS READ THIS WITH ME! I am boycotting this site now! And you think for one minute that Blah Blah Blah!

Mike Owens said...

If BJ's are "Bitter" without him, what exactly are they with him?

Cassie said...

I. AM. SPEECHLESS!

Tigerwolf said...

I can’t get past the brown roses. Maybe that was some sort of subtle message, too? Oh, dear…

^..^

WV: mukedro.
"I mukedro sis on dis caik!"
"What? Don't talk with your mouth full!"

jess said...

Missing where my mind went, makes it even funnier!! LOL

Venus Doom said...

Perhaps Steve's mind DID go into the gutter with ours, but took it one step further.

Ew.

Terry Lee said...

hi-larious title, jen! ;-)

anyway, personally, i think it should say (assuming we're going with what they wrote): bj's is better with you! bj's is a company name (singular).

but i'm just a blow-hard when it comes to grammar. heh heh

Kelli said...

And of course BJs shouldn't be possessive.

The Shitty Astrologer said...

Ha! It's a don't ask don't tell cake...just eat it and shut up!

Nathan said...

The lesson here: subject/verb agreement matters!

Putting it out there said...

The biggest problem is that the decorator wrote are rather than is. Perhaps BJ's had a sense of humor when ordering?

morriganscrow said...

Metallic and salty too....

Or so I hear. ;)

Katie said...

Haha...this is the funniest one in a long time.

Ashley said...

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHA! FANTASTIC!!!

colleenoz said...

To me it looks more like "BJ's a _fitter_ with YOU!"

wv:chipsyph, considering the topic, not going there...

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Aww, they're better with you too.

Jeremy said...

This takes me back...You know, maybe had I given her a cake like this, things wouldn't have gone sour in our relationship.

The More You Know(tm).

Joseph Pentangelo said...

The "are" is in error, but the apostrophe in "BJ's" is a proper part of the company's name.

Alex Getts said...

It's the Michael Scott sexual harassment cake all over again!

Anonymous said...

Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job
ahhh, no.
related wreckage should be:
Costco, China, fireman, hose.

Garage Sale Guru said...

We all have to admit the fact that we all thought the same thing when we read it... well, yup, dirty minds thing alike!

Anonymous said...

presumably, the party-makers would have put an order into BJ's BAKERY dept. for this lovely cake. The fact that THEY screwed it up makes it even more priceless!
-moochmom

Brandy said...

Oh, I think "bitter" fits right into the gutter.

Anonymous said...

I guess my mind isn't in the gutter...I have no idea what you're talking about.

em

Neil (SM) said...

Yeah, you wouldn't say "McDonald's are better with you," right? It would be "McDonald's is better with you." Yes, the apostrophe is correct--it's part of the store's name, "B.J.'s Wholesale Club."

So, if it were about the store it would have said "B.J.'s is better with you." Since they used "are," it's pretty obvious where their mind was!

Heather said...

I'm sorry, but what adult in their right mind (or maybe not) can look at that cake and say " This will do. Makes complete sense to me!!". My mind immediately went into the gutter, came back out, and then crashed into it again. Love your site by the way.

Anne said...

There's a BJ's opening up a block away, and now I'm going to snicker every time I pass it because of this cake. Ah, yes, I'm mature...

Melissa (& Billy) said...

Just when I think nothing will ever surprise me again...

...something like this happens.

0_o

Anonymous said...

I was going to read all the comments, but I don't think it will do my mind any good. Funny one Jen! I'll leave it at that.

Karen said...

I was absolutely clueless so I thought I would read the comments to see if that would help... thanks to Terry Lee I found the gutter in question.
My problem was I am at work so my kids(all adults) weren't nearby to translate for me!

Kamity said...

All I can think is, "Good luck in China!"

dharmamama said...

The tag "questionable taste" made me laugh even more than the cake itself.

Poor guy (or his partner!) - though I've heard what you eat can affect the bitterness.

dharmamama said...

OK, the "questionable taste" tag *and* the electrolux ad made laugh!

Anonymous said...

Maybe the co-worker was very "popular" and the cake said exactly what it was supposed to say. Did we ever consider that?

Rachel said...

Hahaha! That is too funny! I heart Cake Wrecks

Siouxzr said...

Whenever anyone mentions shopping at BJ's I have to suppress a snicker. Thanks for making it, that much harder to do.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Oh GOD! I can't stop laughing....tears forming....OMG!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

arensb said...

Maybe you should have saved this one for Steak and BJ Day on Mar. 14.

lisadh said...

OMG! That is too freakin' hilarious!

Great submittal!

And I am in Austin, so I will see what I can do about attending the cake show. Thanks for the reminder!

jj said...

Steve's co-worker is transferring between two stores, so I guess that sort of justifies the use of "are." Still, I hope this doesn't become a company slogan or something, bitter or otherwise.

And I'm guessing that in order to work there in the first place, you have to prove that you can't think of any jokes to make about the name of the place. That leaves most of us out, it would seem...

ROFL

Anonymous said...

Thanks for using the word "unsavory" in your warning today-- nice!

I wonder if the wreckorator really did know what they're doing on this one-- it would be hard to not mess with someone who obviously didn't see the potential for dirty jokes here! Even the most innocent comments are making me giggle today. I'll work on being mature about life tomorrow...


wv: quite-- Wait, that's really a word. I don't know what to think!

nanshi said...

ahahahaha!!*breath* oh my goodness!

o.o I honestly wouldn't mind getting a cake like that. It's a compliment!!!

(but maybe not from work)

XD

Onyx said...

Trying hard not to laugh out loud in a quiet class

Ashley said...

Ha ha, even if the word is "better" or "bitter" it still sounds dirty to me!

melissbaker1 said...

Should I feel embarrassed or proud that my husband had to explain this one to me?

Anonymous said...

It has taken some time to work out what you Americans are sniggering about........well really, how extremely uncouth........we are not amused............snort, giggle,guffaw!!!

Drop the Deuce said...

Maybe it's a pineapple filling cake. They are supposed to make BJs better too.

heather said...

Every BJs I've ever been to has their own bakery... they MADE this cake! LOL!

Also, I was driving down the street with my 2 young sons in the car and overheard this:
"Where's BJs?"
"Thar she blows"

I almost wrecked my car...

Bettina said...

Damn, sometimes I wish to be a native english speaker. It took me a 10 Minutes of endless browsing through the comment section to figure it out.
I feel like a fool but have laughed about it anyway.
Love it ;)

Tatersmama said...

Hahahahaha! I LOVE this! Poor Steve sure is naive though, isn't he?
Oh where's my darn tissues when I need them?

word veri: deturier.
If you work at BJ's and transfer to another store, let this be a deturier to you too!

Anonymous said...

XD I love it c:

helenabucket said...

A "BJ" cake?
I wouldn't touch the icing on that cake with a 10-foot pole.

(insert additional dirty jokes here)

Anonymous said...

Melissbaker1 - I'm with you. I had no idea.

angie and tyler said...

Maybe BJ's IS better with you?

Mellodee said...

My mind goes into the gutter just as easily as anyone else's, but thinking this one is a gutter-wreck is way off the mark. "BJ's" is the name of the place they work. If you keep that in mind then this is obviously not a mistake or a poor abbreviation or even close to a "dirty word". The only questionable thing on this cake is the "are" vs. "is" quandry. BJ is NOT all that common an abbreviation for the gutter thing. As far as I'm concerned the cakes are usually bad enough or funny enough on their own. I don't think every wreck is just one step away from X-rated!! I have been noticing more and more lately that sometimes you push things a bit too far in a search for the snide or titillating joke. That's a label this cake does not deserve. After all, as someone once said (it might even have been Freud),
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

Gary said...

Are you sure this wasn't an intentional pun?

I'm sure people who work at a place called "BJ's" know lots of jokes about the name of the store.

Of course, the real problem is that the wreckorator wrote "are" instead of "Epcot."

under a rock said...

I did not get it and had to read the comments to ge the joke....

Jason said...

My visa check card number was recently stolen. The first fraudulent charge was for $130 in BJs...gift cards...

Marie said...

Oh man.. cannot stop the hysterical laughter. My husband was reading over my shoulder and nearly choked on a cookie he was eating. Serves us right for looking while eating lol.

Lola Cutter Hensel said...

It's only 2:06 AM, and this just made my day.

Anonymous said...

@ Mellodee--

I have to disagree that this is not a common abbreviation. I have known of this term for over 20 years, which would put the first time I knew of it back in junior high, if not before, and for the record, I am not even the most fast-living of people. It was ruled out as consideration for my children's initials, in fact, for their own sakes in junior high one day. It's the same reason that no one names their child Richard anymore, either. That's just being proactive. ;)

Anonymous said...

Maybe the one who ordered the cake was an ex-girlfriend or "buddy"--"better" if the cake ordered and cake recipient were on good terms, "bitter" if not. The cake is either a secret message if they're on good terms, or an insult if not, considering most of us are going to read it the way we read it.

jo said...

Terry-Lee, you are totally right. That's what I thought. the fact they screwed up the verb is what makes this so much funnier and suggestive.

Mary said...

That is funny as heck! I wonder what the other epople seeing this cake thought....lol

Emily said...

It actually took me a few minutes to figure out what you were talking about! I guess that the joke whooshed over my head.

For the record, I just thought that you were making fun of the grammar or something.

Rebecca said...

Thank goodness for Gary.

I can't believe there is so much conversation about grammar.

It is cake. And it is funny.

papawow said...

Holy smokes, that's too funny!

Southern Utah girl said...

What's the big deal - it's the name of the store ;)

Michele T Myers said...

I think all of the talk about grammar makes it that much funnier.

Heather's post, at 2/26 11:02 a.m.: "My mind immediately went into the gutter, came back out, and then crashed into it again," describes this cake wreck perfectly.

Chef Anthony said...

My mind went where everyone else's did. Love this site.

Anonymous said...

I just didn't get it at first!
I thought about it for a while.
Then started laughing.

And for the lady boycotting this site .....come on,,,,,you'll be back and you know it!
this is one cake...and it wasn't meant to be nasty on purpose....isn't this the whole idea of cake wrecks anyway???

The Black Dog said...

Ten bucks says the decorator was giggling so much that it's why the word "better" looks like "bitter" I know I would be.

Anonymous said...

fake. good idea though.

Sarah said...

Ha Ha. I thought the same thing as Anonymous. The cake was made in the BJ's bakery.

I used to shop at BJ's for Gas, where they had extra long hoses at the pump.

Sarah

Anonymous said...

those insulted have dirty minds....
i just didn't get it for the longest time...i never would have thot that till i saw people getting mad

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that it a VERY common term for a specific "act." And I'm a total prude, so get with it people!
Funny, funny cake.

Anonymous said...

One of the best! Definitely worth a LOL!

Laurie Two Shoes said...

I can't even imagine when or where Mellodee went to Jr. High School if BJ is not a common abbreviation (for something other than a store)for her.

I am not proud to admit it, but I think that cake is funny whether it says "better" or "bitter." The subject-verb agreement is just the icing on the cake.

Anonymous said...

@ Mellodee:

...until it's a cigar at BJ's.

Anonymous said...

whoever wrote this:

I Figured I'd Say It First... Sarcastically said...
Okay, I'll go first...

"""How dare you corrupt everyone's minds! This is disgusting and vulgar and MY KIDS READ THIS WITH ME! I am boycotting this site now! And you think for one minute that Blah Blah Blah!"""

I'm shocked! how does your KIDS even know what BJ stands for??? other then names, which it didn't for you information.. Get your kids and your mind out of the gutter....ugh!

KimberlyQ said...

I guess congratulations are in order for Steve. Now everyone know. ;) HAHA!

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the people who don't get it. Well, really, I feel sorry for their husbands : ) Awesome cake...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 2:18,

that comment was written by "I figured I'd say it first... Sarcastically". Hopefully you were being sarcastic too, because she definitely was.

btw, I totally took forever to figure this cake out :P.

Fignie said...

I'm not sure what's funnier ... the wreck itself ... or all the comments after!!
Yes, my mind went "there" ... And laughed!!!

anomelie said...

Um, I think Steve's mind DID go to the gutter. I mean, have you ever had experience with a BJ? Bitter indeed. *shudder* Unless your man's been eating a lotta fresh fruit. That does seem to help...

Alexia said...

@ Anonymous
February 27, 2010 3:49 PM

Dude they were being Sarcastic. Because they knew SOMEONE was going to get all prudish about it.

btw: it was soooo funny.

Alexia

WV: conshes. I can't do it. lol too funny.

Anonymous said...

HEY JEN!

Check out this cake wreck/fail:
http://failblog.org/2009/10/21/cake-fail-3/#comments

Spelling fail!
-Madison

Jewelry Classes with Lauren LeClair said...

Growing up behind a BJ's store, I thought I had heard all the jokes.

This one takes the cake.
Er, no pun intended.

Anonymous said...

As a public school teacher in suburban America, I'm sorry to tell all you parents out there that if your child is in the 6th grade or above, they probably know what this term implies. Your denial of this is where the trouble really starts. Talk to your children, please!

kimbalaya said...

My husband's first response (following his hysterical laughter) was "I hope it's not Bavarian cream-filled!"

Anonymous said...

Actually, if you re-read Jen's post she says that the company in question is NOT BJ's Wholesale. The baker took it upon themselves to abbreviate the company's name...whatever that was.

Jewelwho said...

In all honesty...I don't get it... Could someone please explain...
Oh wait...I just read the comments...now I get it...ew...

kim said...

This was the funniest thing ever! Thanks for posting. I still can't stop laughing! HA, HA, HA!!!!

Damon Scott Hynes said...

A real hummer-dinger of a cake.

Laurie said...

Wow, Joseph Pentangelo, your penchant for grammatical perfection must make you the life of every party! While you are absolutely correct in your assessment, you apparently fail to appreciate the humor of it. Correct papers some other time...lighten up and LAUGH a little, it was funny!

Laurie said...

Yeah, I think Steve's mind *did* go to the gutter on this one...anyone that's ever been a "giver" (so to speak) can attest that they are indeed quite (ahem) bitter. Now, if they ARE better with Steve, well, YAY Steve! What's your secret? I need to tell my hubby asap! (I really am a giver at heart, but if we can fix that bitter problem, I'll be a much happier wife!):P

Anonymous said...

The baker must have done this on purpose. First, BJs is not possessive. Second, if they were thinking clean, then they would have at least said IS instead of ARE...

Anonymous said...

At first I missed the gutter where everyone's minds landed in until I found out by reading previous post that 'BJs' can be an abbreviation for 'BlowJobs' oopsie!