Monday, September 28, 2009

You Can't Get There from He-ah

Monday, September 28, 2009

Hi, Guys! Anne-Marie here. I live waaaay up north, in the beautiful state of Maine (State motto: "Crap, it's cold!").

In case you were wondering:

1. No, we do NOT all own snowshoes and snowmobiles.

2. Yes, we CAN make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night without the use of a jacket or a flashlight.

3. Yes, we actually DO use the word 'wicked' in everyday conversation, and not just for the entertainment of you tourists.

Next, a few more Maine factoids:


State flower: The Pine Cone. Sure it smells like sap and dirt, but when your nose is frostbitten, everything pretty much smells the same anyway.


State pet: Moose. (Granted, this isn't terribly realistic. I mean, that grass is green.)

State Bug: The Lobster. Break out the butter, folks!

(Little known fact: When you drop a lobster from approximately three feet, it almost always lands on its shell.)

So there you have it: A summary of all things Maine. Next time you're up here, make sure you try the bug. It's only two bucks a pound, ayuh!

Thanks to Allie M, Samantha P. and An O. Nymous, who are obviously wikkid smaht.
Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

I love the Moose-Dragon. That's wicked awesome!

peaches1111_00 said...

That moose looks like it has bat wings.

Adnoxious said...

I love the look in the first lobster's eyes. "Help, please, anyone? My head seems to have collapsed into my body."

adnoxious.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hey Anne-Marie, I know the state of Maine is lovely (as are the people there), but I'm pretty sure the northern-most chunk of this country is actually the beautiful state of Alaska...

Half Assed Kitchen said...

His antlers look like they're made of garbage bags.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

Pine cone...or.....

Lorraine said...

Being from Michigan, I really enjoyed this post very much. Made me laugh out loud, first one of the day - of the whole week!
Now a bad way to start out my Monday, eh?

Rachel said...

No wait - is the moose a cake? Why? Why?.... Why?

inhaletears said...

awwwwwww. that lobster looks like a lil' critter that just got stepped on. *heart breaks*

Elizabeth said...

I believe the northernmost chunk of this fine country is in Alaska.

WriteCards said...

Pine cone cake? Perhaps the butter for the lobster cakes will help out there! (Love the "winged" look on the moose.)

My husband has never expressed an interest in this blog (in spite of my constant snickers), yet tonight, he was sitting beside me as I opened the page. His comments:

Pine Cone -- "Is that a brain?"

Moose -- "Is that a real moose? Who would want a cake shaped like a moose?"

Ah, dearie, you finally got the point!

Stephanie said...

Hmmm...A pine cone cake. Why?!?!

Everytime I think I've seen it all, you all prove me wrong! LOL!

WriteCards said...

Pine cone cake? Perhaps the butter for the lobster cakes will help out there! (Love the "winged" look on the moose.)

My husband has never expressed an interest in this blog (in spite of my constant snickers), yet tonight, he was sitting beside me as I opened the page. His comments:

Pine Cone -- "Is that a brain?"

Moose -- "Is that a real moose? Who would want a cake shaped like a moose?"

Ah, dearie, you finally got the point!

Veronica Wald said...

Hilarious as always :-)
(But WHITE font is really much easier to read than black)

Gentoo said...

Ha! I didn't know you were a Mainah too!

katesma said...

Uh-oh, Anne-Marie, you put an extraneous comma in the commentary! The lobster lands on "its" shell!

Anne

Brian Tiemann said...

Even not counting Alaska, Maine isn't even as far north as the western lower 48 (it doesn't extend up to the 49th parallel, believe it or not).

Sorry, can't help myself. Ignore me. :P

writtenwyrdd said...

I live in Northern Maine, and we don't say wicked hardly at all. That's a Downeaster thing.

And somehow you guys missed a potato cake. (Surely there's a bad potato-themed cake in your wreck-ives?) We have lots of potatoes up he-yah. Ayuh, ayuh.

Officer Apostrophe said...

As a member of the punctuation police, I'm afraid I have to issue you a citation for that apostrophe in the sentence before the last picture. "It's" is an abbreviation for "it is"; it's not the possessive form of "it". That would be "its". Now you have learned about both geography and grammar today. :)

Nightfalltwen said...

I'm in New Brunswick, just on the other side of the Canadian border from Maine. Hi theres! *waves*

Zombie Edward said...

My boyfriend's middle son LOVES moose. He'd probably flip if he got a moose b-day cake. Since he is turning nine soon, the craziness of it wouldn't seem like a wreck to him.

Beth said...

What lovely cakes! They look great when your eyes are frozen shut, anyway.

I understand the cold. As you likely learned in Geography class, Minnesota is the furthest North of the 48 contiguous states--although I don't blame you for forgetting that details. As someone from Minnesota, I recall that fact, in spite of the fact that the school is only in session during months when it snows (September through June).

Jess said...

Yeah...I was gonna say what Brian said. The northernmost point in the contiguous United States is in North Dakota, but there are LOTS of places that are more northerly than Maine - Parts of Washington state, for example.

Theresa B said...

I'm a Minnesotan, and we're pretty much on parallel with Maine. Some of us actually do say "you betcha," and the worst irony is that when you say "Minnesotan," you inevitably sound Minnesotan.

Linda said...

I'm from Maine...way up further north than most people actually believe there is population. We don't say ayuh (that's a coastal thing, lol).

Since we didn't have many lobsters up north, I always grew up thinking the state bird was the blackfly...and that was also the state bug....oh well. Better informed now.

Krystal said...

hahah a perfect representation of Maine if you ask me.
after all these years I lost the backwoods,down east accent but still say wicked ALL the time...
These cakeswrecks are wicked funny.

jackie31337 said...

That pine cone cake looks an awful lot like the finnish käpykakku. If it's made it to the other side of the Atlantic, I would be very surprised.

Helen said...

Yes! Two of my favorite things combined: Cake Wrecks and Maine! People here in Kansas City make fun of me when I say "wicked", but I just can't help it - especially when I get together with my sister.

Kimbrena Cravens said...

I think you might like Rhett & Link's Maine Man Song. ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcDsd_sMtiw

Hungarican Chick said...

Up NAHTH... Not North. get it right. ::sigh:: I miss Maine. Missed you in Portland. Damn.

Mama Mclain said...

The Pine Cone Cake looks like a frosted.... um... turd. There I said it.

JJ Sobey said...

When you post with white text, you can't read the text in a news reader, like Google reader. Defeats the purpose of publishing a feed. :(

Yarn Princess said...

I think YOU are wikkid smaht.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

J J Sobey,

Bwoops. I think it's all fixed. Sorry about that!

john

Gina said...

i think those are real rocks on the lobster? but it wasnt a rock, it was a rock lobster!!

MamaLemma said...

Brilliant! I have family in Central Maine (and they still say wicked and ayuh, so not just downeastahs!) And Gina -- thanks, now I'll be singing that all day.

ashleyalvina said...

excellent commentary :)
highlight: plane.

Terry Lee said...

to me, a native texan, anyone north of the red river is pretty much a damn yankee. ;-)

great wreckiness today, anne-marie! do y'all really consider moose (meese? mooses?) pets?!

Anonymous said...

Now I'm homesick!

edeabay said...

As a Mainer by birth (who fled that place many years ago) it is nice to see a little piece of my homeland pop up on Cake Wrecks.
Love the pine cone thing, mostly because my husband can't get over how ridiculous it is that it's our state flower. Maybe when I go visit for thanksgiving I will replicate one of these.

siltedrepose said...

Love the commentary!

yatski said...

jackie31337:

Yup yup, käpykakku also translates to 'Pine Cone Cake'..

Too bad most Finnish cakes sold in stores aren't potential Wrecks.

They are plain, simple and uninteresting. (That's why I envy you.)

tracylee said...

My boyfriend is from Maine and transplanted to the West Coast a year and a half ago. He's actually back in the Bangor area for a few weeks right now to sell his house. Yes, it's cold, and for some reason, he likes to collect pinecones out here - he must be homesick!

eileen pennington said...

since she said "way up north" not sure why everyone has to declare war on her comments. sheesh.

she did not say she lived in the northern-most part of the country. take a chill y'all.

as for the cakes. hahahahaha!

Heidi said...

Hehehe. My mom has lived in Maine for the past, oh, seven years. She's actually moving down here to sunny FL this weekend! She is in for such a shock - she calls me every Wednesday on her way from the bank and complains about the *horrendous* Maine traffic. Gosh, she must live in a town of 3,000 people. Must be hard dodging all those snowmobiles. I admit I will miss sending her Christmas photos of us in shorts!

Thanny said...

The northernmost point in the 48 contiguous states is in Minnesota, not North Dakota.

Julie said...

My husband is from Maine and I got to go there for the first time this summer! What I learned: Lobstah rolls are wicked awesome.

Anonymous said...

I dunno, the moose looks pretty good, aside from my suspicion that it's actually a plush stuffed animal.

Kim said...

Maine does have a geographical claim to fame: it's the eastern most point in the US.

Also did you all learn this in school, or do they just teach it to Mainers, that if you stretched the Maine coast out straight it would reach all the way to Florida.

Raised a Mainah, now a transplanted Ma$$hole!

Tiffany said...

You FORGOT the State Bird... the Mosquito!!! I love main, but everythime im there i get eatten alive!!! - Tiffany

Cindy said...

Just wanted to know what makes the last cake "traditional". Is it the lobster with the splayed legs on blue icing? Is this a seasonal cake? A special day cake? It also seems to come with a gold rating according to the label on the box. Hmmmm.
Cindy Mitchell

wv: ledis Ledis ponder the history of this cake.

Kristine said...

Ooooh - my sister Ann-Marie is living in Maine now! Coincidence? I think not!

Amanda said...

From one Maine-iac to another, I can say that this post is wicked funny and all very true.
Cheers! Amanda from Houlton (AKA too far and not worth the drive)

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I spent a year working in Bah Habah (Bar Harbor) Maine and I never heard anyone say wicked. Plus, lobster was still expensive because its a tourist trap. But I definitely remember the black flies. Oh yah. The black flies.

That moose was just an extra horse head cake that didn't sell and they slapped some trash bags on it.

Kim said...

I was relieved that the moose cake was a moose - at first glance I thought it was a strange fat bat. It makes a much better moose than a bat. My other comment is a question...a lobster is a bug? I'm from Texas and we do have bugs big enough to strap a saddle on, but is a lobster an aquatic bug? EWWWW

karmapearl said...

Nice Pet Semetary reference. ;)

Colleen said...

Maine sounds a lot like over here in Michigan. [and yes, we DO have fingered gloves, not just mittens]

rachaelwrites said...

People in MA say 'wicked' too.

That plane lobster is scaring me. . .

AlbinoBlueCrab said...

what are the black things dropped on the first lobster? Did he find some fine caviar to munch on?
Love state bug = lobster! Whenever I saw one of the old Maine license plates, I'd always think a cockroach crawled up onto the plate and was hitching a ride!

Alix said...

Jen had better watch her back, is all I have to say. Those captions were hilarious.

NYCGirl said...

C.W. made Newsweek!:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/216133?GT1=43002

Jennifer said...

I thought the 'pinecone' cake was a bike helmet cake.
Still strange, of course :-P

Morgan said...

I'm from Canada (Toronto, Ontario) and this post made me laugh out loud! I thought we were the only ones who had to put up with questions like: "What's it like to live in an Igloo?" or "Where did y'all park yer dog sleds?"

I'm happy to know our neighbours in the northern states have to deal with it too!

Anonymous said...

"Mainiacs" are wicked awesome!!!

LOVE the Moose cake!

Angel said...

Can't wait to see Seattle! It was cool meeting you, and we had a great time hearing you talk about these wrecks in person. Thanks for inspiring such fun!

FrauDrK said...

Hooray! Never knew you were from Maine!! I currently live elsewhere (Northern VA), but I'm a true Mainiac, not just because I was born there, but because both my PARENTS were born there (Mainiacs will understand). Awesome cakes-- but as the daughter of a botanist, I can tell you, it's not just the pine cone that is the flower, it is also the tassel which goes with it--that's where the pollen is. Yes, it is technically a flower!! Though you certainly wouldn't know it from that cake!!

Thanks for all you guys do on CW!!

Capability Bowes said...

The last lobster cake has a label on the box that says "Traditional". Is the making of such awful things one of these scary American traditions we hear so much about in Yarrup, like wearing racoon-skin caps, decimating the indigenous wildlife and human populations and then posting messages saying "Other countries' traditions are.... scary" when confronted with a cake made to resemble Zwarte Piet?

Anonymous said...

i just moved from maine. it's warmer than alaska, but yeah it snows from september to june. i love the lobster with red bones sticking outta its sides!!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

The moose reminds me of a friend of mine who accidentally hit one while serving in the the armed forces in Alaska. The moose was unhurt but left, um, several presents on the windshield out of sheer fright! This cake looks like it represents one that didn't make it...Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like roadkill!

And hey, I have used 'wicked' in conversation, and I'm not from Maine =D

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Boy Capability,
You do come out swinging don't you? And are you really still upset over the Zwarte post? Wow... Yarupeans have thin skin. Btw, where is Yarup? ;}
john

James, Andrea, and Clara Smith said...

I love the moose! The antlers need help, but he's so fuzzy and cute looking. We like them up here too . . . in Alaska.

Deb said...

Anothah Maine-ah heyah, though I'm technically 'From away'. Love the Maine cakes - wicked cool, though I didn't see any with jimmies on them. The lobstah ones are cunnin'!
Because of my love for the state, I do a weekly post titled Why I Love ME and I'm finding out lots of people love ME! They really love ME!

Allison said...

My son saw the third picture and thought that it was a red cactus.

Kachine said...

Wicked Cool!! I'm a Mainah born and raised. I left the state for a grand total of three months then came runnin' back home. Everyone makes fun of my accent at work (they're all from-awayahs!) but I just smile and say "Ayuh."

I LOVE the moose cake! My oldest son's nickname is moose because he's so big. That would be perfect for his next birthday! lol

Too bad you didn't find a cake celebrating the funnest part of livin' in Maine. Mud Season!!

Rose said...

Oh Cake Wrecks- taking on home sweet home! Best way to wind down my Monday. Again, I would like to add to the comments noting you Ann-Marie made no claim to being Maine being "northernmost." Back off, people! We're only claiming to have the suckiest state flower, and tastiest underwater arthropod. Thinking of Maine-inspired cakes, and the show of native pride in the comments section, I would love to see a cake based the the old "a cat can have kittens in the oven, but that doesn't make 'em biscuits" saying...

holly said...

Well hello there, fellow Mainiac! Technically, I'm not 'from' Maine, but all my maternal family has lived there since, probably, it was part of Mass. I was just there last month, as I have been every summer for my entire life. We have a camp - not a tennis camp, not a golf camp, not a 'cottage' - but just a CAMP, waaaay above Bangor. Up in The County. We put out the wharf every summer, we park our cars in the dooryard and we drink pop. We also eat beanhole beans, smelt and beans and new potatoes in cream. I would like to say I eat red hot dogs but I can't stand 'em!

holly said...

Amanda! If you happen to come back to read the posts - we do our grocery shopping in Houlton while we're at camp. The Elm Tree is a long standing *MUST* every year.

Anonymous said...

Mr Capability - While I am not proud of the white peoples' role in treatment of Native Americans in this country, let us not forget that they were Europeans first, some only a generation or so (or not) from the Old Country.

Ex-Mainer said...

I'll tell you why some people in Maine may want a moose cake. If you have survived hitting one with your car in the great state of Maine, then you're darn right you deserve a cake! I totalled my car hitting one in Lewiston. Didn't get a cake though. Just a few cuts and bruises.

Haiku Joy said...

Nothing says "birthday"
like licorice posing as
Rubbery moose lips.

jj said...

We aren't the northernmost state, but we DO get the sun first. That's got to count for something, right?

It's nice to see my state featured. You missed the Adirondack Trail, red tide, potatoes, and flannel!

Next time?

Heather said...

Yes, lobster are bugs. Their closest relatives are cockroaches.

I can't stand them and don't mind pointing out that little bit of trivia anytime someone asks.

Beckie said...

Born and bred Maine-ah here. Well some of us do have to use flashlights and jackets to use the bathroom at night. At least when we're up-ta camp. Then it's wicked cold and dark at night. And it only snows from Nov till April. We just don't get spring, we have summer, fall, winter and mud season here.
As for the bugs, real Maine-ah's know it's the black flies that cause all the trouble. Yeah we have mosquitos, but the black flies will carry you away.

supersonic-gabi said...

I never knew there were so many mainers that read this blog!

I am a mainer as well, I live in the middle of lobsterville USA. You should hear these people talk, its insane. I only use wicked every other sentence. these guys use "guy" "wicked" and every other stereotypical maine slang word every five seconds.

Also, I can get lobster for about 4 bucks a pound, just sayin'.
Booyah

CarolinaGirl said...

Luv the moose...

Sixxlet said...

A LOBSTER is your state BUG? A lobster is a bug? Really????

amy kelinda said...

Your commentary is the best. THE BEST, I SAY.

Anonymous said...

Is that moose cake made of actual foodstuffs? The antlers look like Naugahyde and the fur looks, er, furry.

Anonymous said...

@ yatski and jackie31337:

nice to see I'm not the only one spotting the similarity between finnish käpykakku and the pine cone cake here. But I am surprised to find out how many of you think the pine cone cake as something strange. ah well, maybe it's the cultural differences since it's not an abnormality amongst cakes here in Finland - and it's pretty tasty too! :)

Brittany said...

hahaha wow, I saw the title, and was like Oh, look'a theah! she's frum roun'heah. I'm tellin you.

Wonderful little Maine Post! not enough mention of snow, but awesome none the less!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this as I am a relatively new Mainer!

But, I'm not sure why everyone felt the need to correct you and say that Maine actually isn't the northern-most state. You never claimed it was--you only claimed to live waaaaay up North, and I think that's what most people consider Maine to be.

Anyway, I just thought I'd back you up since you never made the claim:)

Gina said...

these are fantastically hillarious! my family's from Maine, Kittery to be exact, its beautiful up there. I long for the days of $2/lb Lobster, instead of the ridiculous rates we get here in Texas. There needs to be (at least on here) a salt water taffy/York Beach themed cake.

Anasatan said...

I have just gone and ordered the lovely lobster cake for my daughter's 15th birthday. She saw it and thought it was the most random cake she had ever seen, and insisted that it be her birthday cake.

Craig said...

Ah, pine cone cake! Here I was, thinking 'moldy artichoke', except the bracts are pointing the wrong way.

Garnish with pine nuts and serve it up with some chocolate bark and a cheese log. Mustn't forget maple fudge. Wash it all down with some branch water, perhaps? Tree-mendous.

This would be good for a beech party.

I'd throw in some more arboreal puns, but wooden you know, I'm stumped.

wv: exant. A good ant is an exant.

Anonymous said...

Maine is actually quite warm for the vast majority of the year.

Anonymous said...

Nothing says, "traditional" like a lobster cake. Notice the sticker.

Anonymous said...

Maine isn't way up north. And it isn't all thart cold either.

thewritingspider said...

My mom's fam is from Maine - spent many a cool summer at Old Orchard Beach. Props to the "You can't get there from he-ah" title! Wicked awesome post all around.
- Sara

Cupcakes Lady said...

I love the moose. The antlers need help, Fuzzy and cute looking. Mint! ;) xx

Briana McF said...

Hey! I am from the easternmost point of the US (Lubec, ME, not Eastport, contrary to popular believe) and these are funny! Terrible but funny. It is beautiful here and most of the downeasters have the accent, I don't but I do say wicked, a lot :)
-Briana

Zoe said...

wow, that looks like good o'l rochester, ny. (to all you non new yorkers, yes, there is a place in new york were it is NOT city) rochester is upstate. NOT winchester county. its next to lake onterio.