Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Series of Unfortunate Monograms

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Who thought this was a good idea?

Or this?


(Never in my life have I so fervently hoped that a cake was chocolate.)

Or, Aunt Flo help us, this?


"So, when's the party?"

"At the end of the month."


Amy M., Jenna B., & Kim W., URQTs. At least, I like to think that you are. Not in a creepy way, of course, or like I know firsthand because I secretly stalk you or anything...that would just be weird. I mean, look, I'm just trying to give you a friendly compliment, in a completely platonic, non-stalker-esque kind of way, Ok? Ok. As you were.


- Related Wreckage: Can You Make a Freudian Slip in Icing?
Nellie said...

No monograms on their towel either, please. What are those things on the side of the other cakes? Maybe chocolate might help.

Katrina said...

The funny/SAD thing about the KKK baby cake is that it's actually quite nicely done!

Wide Awake Wife said...

The first one looks like a wedding cake and you would hope that the bride realized the monogram, tought it was amusing and went for it. Either that or she was completely ignorant of it and the guests had a good laugh!

mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

Mrs. CH said...

That triple-K name is unfortunate, but I love the cake! Especially the little blocks and the bottle!

The Angry Jackalope said...

My dear friend is named Kim and her daughter is Kayla and her son is named Kaden. Kim's mom bought her a necklace with all three of their initials on it for Mother's day. It was lovely, but, alas, Kim had to return it.

Melinda said...

That SOB wedding cake is hilarious! The KKK baby though...uh...hopefully seeing that on her cake prompted mommy to realize what a terrible mistake she was making.

Kelly said...

Maybe the other side of the blocks on the baby cake say N O T, just to clear up any confusion. I do like the baby footprints on the sides. Maybe they're stamping out racism?

Brigid M said...

This makes me feel a lot better that my boyfriend and I are "B & J"... although we'd just go for the single last name monogram.

Jen said...

I'm hoping that only the baby's first name begins with K, and the decorator was just being a little too enthusiastic about it?

sleepsong said...

I had a friend in high school named Kevin K. who told us that his parents were going to give him the middle name Kyle, but then realized his initials would be KKK (and they're Jewish), so they gave him Oliver instead. Because having "KOK" written on your backpack in middle/high school is oh so much better... (Try saying it aloud.)

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Oh dear, those are a bit unfortunate.

BarbJ said...

I went to HS with a friend who's initials were KKK. Her parents were from the Phillipines and no idea that 3Ks would mean anything here, lol.

April said...

The baby cake is cute, but I am wondering about the perspective of the pacifier (is that what it is?) nipple vs the bottle's.

wv: coitero - ha!
Will someone who is braver than me please define this?

SuSuseriffic said...

That baby cake is pretty sucky..what kind of bottle is that..and what is that next to it...what kind of deformed pacifier is the size of a golf ball and poop brown color...or is it suposed to be something else?

Julie said...

Woah. Just...Woah. I want to know WHY the baby cake says KKK - Is that really the baby's initials? That's a lot of K's!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

The parents didn't really think those initials through, did they?

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Tameson said...

We have both of those sets of initials in my family so I didn't really get offended at either of them. Guess I'm desensitized.

sendingtheclowns said...

Gee, I don't know...
Those baby footprints, buldging out of the cake sides as they are, actually look as if a bunch of captive babies are trying to kick their way out of their fondant prison.
Sort of reminiscent of "Sing a Song of Sixpence," which goes like this:
Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of steak,
Four and twenty babies baked in a cake.
When the cake was opened the babes began to wail,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to prove itself a fail?

>^??^<

Morta Di Fame said...

This is so hilarious!

Meredith said...

The "KKK" cake is cute but I'm torn on the baby footprints. On one hand, they're well done and sweet...on the other hand, it looks like there are alien babies inside the cake trying to muscle their way out.

Deray said...

Maybe it was the decorators fault and the first cake should have read S & B? I'm sorry for the baby if those are really his/her initials. I could see this being the decorators fault, as well, maybe only the baby's first name starts with a K.

Jerry said...

I should know better than to eat while reading this blog. I really should.

I like to think SOB stands for Silly Old Bear. The cake is quite pretty though.

wv dises I imagine the bride saying she will smack an SOB who dises her cake.

MalMal said...

Our son *almost* has the initials ASS. But... we're just not that mean.

Sendingtheclowns, I LOVE your song.

wv: alichsol. Hopefully the guests have enough alichsol...alcmahol...get drunk enough not to notice the wedding cake.

La La said...

There is a Ramones song "The KKK took my baby away!" I bust out laughing when I saw this post!

kojak said...

The top one took me a minute to get. It is subtle. The bottom one? Not so much. I also enjoyed the link to the freudian slip cake. I can't believe how much I love this site. Keep up the great work!!

*~*Lis*~* said...

*snicker* hoping the cake was chocolate! you're bad

jackie31337 said...

My last name starts with a K, so when we were considering baby names for my daughter, we were really carefully not to accidentally spell out anything, or end up with KKK initials. You would think these people realized the implications of their initials at some point before seeing them immortalized in cake....

Kate said...

My parents intentionally named my brother Kyle instead of Zachary so that their three kids would all have first names that started with K.

Like it never occured to them that might be a bad thing.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

deckardcanine said...

I'd be SOBbing myself.

Renee said...

I have a friend who's initials are now KKK, so I guess it doesn't matter what you name your child they'll mess it up when they get married. LOL! But DH & I thought long and hard about our kid's initials hoping they wouldn't spell anything no matter who she marries.

I've never understood the Monogram thing myself.

Missie said...

I am with sendingtheclowns on the baby footprints. Coulda been sweet, but ended up kinda creepy. Reminds me of the old series "V",when the baby lizard thing burst from the woman's stomach. "Happy baby shower, Martha! Hope the kid doesn't do a roundhouse and come flying out your belly button! Let's have some cake!"

anotherJuli said...

I went to school with a guy whose name was Kajun Klark Kelley. I can't recall what he said when I asked him about it.

Sharon said...

Sendingintheclowns needs a lil break. o.O

Or plenty of black coffee...

But that's a pretty good suggestion for a deliberate wreck: baby feet sticking out of the sides of a cake

Stacey said...

Maybe the "O" was supposed to be a wedding ring and was really poorly done? So: S -wedding ring- B? One can only hope...haha

sammik said...

My own parents almost gave me the initials KKK. They, unlike the unfortunate person with the baby cake, realized their mistake BEFORE putting it on my birth certificate.

Anonymous said...

And this is EXACTLY why my wedding cake is having only our last initial monogramed on it. Otherwise it would say ARM. Not as bad as these too but still pretty embarrassing.




Word Verification for ousifin: Ousifin idea was it to put these initials on cakes?

ksaldria said...

Lulz at KKKake.

Brittany said...

LOL forever at the SOB cake.

Debbi said...

April ~ loved your WV. I am so not even going there ...

My WV is berst. I may berst because I am laughing so hard at these cakes!

Rocco Galatioto said...

A cake is worth a thousand words!
Rocco

http:galatiotophoto.blogspot.com

Lynn said...

What were they thinking ? The cakes are pretty in spite of the monograms !

Anonymous said...

After my mom had to endure the tirades of a sister's friend about how much she hated her initials (WAR - great fun during the Korean and Vietnam era, I'm sure), my parents tried to think through our initials very carefully, but they somehow missed that my sister's spells the name of an animal if you do first name - last name - middle name. Still, an animal is far better than an organization known for racial violence. Or even an less than endearing epithet.

Word verification: shilver. Learning there are babiesh out there with KKK namesh shent a shilver up Sean Connery's shpine.

Jacob said...

I don't think two cakes counts as a series.

Sili said...

I'd completely missed the KKKake. I thought the problem was the babyfeet - if it'd just been that, I'd have said that I hoped it to be red velvet cake.

Eric E. said...

Jen you never cease to crack me up. I'm dying at your strong desire for the KKK cake to be chocolate. Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

(Sigh) So many parents overlook the initials a child will have when naming their baby. Though they can have interesting outcomes. From among my friends, there's a SHT, an ACE, and a GOD.

Rob said...

Our daughter almost ended up with the initials KKK. Fortunately, we noticed before in time and changed the middle name from Kathleen to Margaret.

sendingtheclowns said...

@ Sharon:
Break? Who, me? Shirley you jest.
Now, coffee--yes, yes, YES--but no blecchhkk coffee for me, thanks. Lots of cream and non-dairy sweetener. Aaaahhhh.
Got some brewing right now...care to join me?
By the by and FYI, it's actually "sendingtheclowns," not "sendingINtheclowns." It's my take on the song, "Send In The Clowns," from the musical "A Little Night Music." No biggie. Keep the change.
>^~-^<

eeyore19 said...

I can remember around 1980 there was a local music group with triplet sisters whose names started with K. They called the band "Triple K". Even at a young age, I knew that wasn't the greatest band name to go with.

BethStev said...

My initials are BS... may they never end up on a cake.

Hyena Overlord said...

*LMAO* Love the baby feet on the side, (sings a song of sixpence as mentioned above).

S.O.B. Yes, she'll call him that someday. It's appropraite his future name be on the cake.

wv: meres...surname of Francis Meres

Suzie Q said...

I know a JAM and a JAR XD
Yeah, I'm sincerely hoping that "K" is only the baby's firs initial and the deocrator got carried away with it.
I'm wondering whether that "O" on the SOB cake is a poorly done ring as well. Either way, someone dropped the ball on figuring that one out!

Scritzy said...

Re the SOB cake: From what I've seen of wedding-cake monogramming, the letter in the middle is the new last name of the couple, and the other two letters are their first names.

For instance: Sarah Michaels is marrying Bill Owens. Small S, big O, small B.

Monogramming also works that way for someone with three initials: Sarah Jean Randall would be small S, big R, small J. Check out any place that does monograms for examples.

Since I dropped my first name when I had my last name legally changed, I only have two initials. I am thankful.

And the baby cake? Um, yeah.

Kaede said...

Umm, the monogram cake
the way it is written with the capital "O" in the middle means her last name will begin with "O". Her married name (if she takes her husband's name) will be something like Susan Barnes Omstead. Omstead being her husband's last name, Barnes replacing her middle name and Susan being her first name. Her initials will be SBO.
On the KKK cake, maybe the mom is having triplets. It happens a lot now days with the wonder of infertility treatments. Many families name all their kids with names that begin with the same initials or sound, Cathy, Carl and Karen. Two families I know matched the last name and the first name in sound and letter for all four of their children. Samantha Smith, Sinclare Smith, Stacy Smith and Stuart Smith. I have no idea what their middle names (if any) were. I found it bad enough that I had to teach the SS.

CorningNY said...

My son's initials are DNR...probably not awful unless he's in a hospital and stops breathing.

The wedding cake made me laugh. Sooner or later, EVERY groom is an SOB...

GAMZu said...

LOL!!!
When we got our kids hamsters, they were eager to name them. My son who was turning five was very proud of his ability to make up words by spelling. So instead of choosing a nice sounding name, he first chose random letters to be put together to form a name.
After some experimentation, he came up with S-O-B.

Over the next week or so, he told everyone in school and in the street that he has a hamster and his name in S-O-B.

:O

Anonymous said...

My Husband and I are Pat and Kris (most spell it Chris anyway). Hi-effing-larious the first anniversary cake we got. Then the next was a good giggle. 10 years later and the comments aren't the funny anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love to see other's light up but a decade of the same joke just isn't that funny anymore.

My son's initials are WMD. He was born in '02 and there were a lot of jokes what a little 'bomb' he was. Followed by "awwwww" after realizing how inappropriate that was at that time.

bob said...

am i the only one who doesn't get the KKK one?

Jason said...

Bob,

KKK= Ku Klux Klan (did I spell that right? I wouldn't know since I'm not a white supremist LOL)

*Lizzy

DangGina said...

Bwa! Ha! Ha! Hilarious! (Especially your comment about hoping the KKK cake was chocolate. HA!)

Katie said...

My parents totally wanted to give me a middle name that would have made my initials kkk, but they thought better of it. That is how I became Katherine Ann instead of Katherine Kay.

hotpants™ said...

Never in my life have I so fervently hoped that a cake was chocolate.

AHAHAHAHAHA! I may have snorted when I read that.

Sewing-Chick said...

After my friend got married, her initials became STD. They should have put that on their wedding cake :)

Cadey said...

My sister's last name begins with a S, and she almost gave her first daughter a name that started with B. But then she thought about what it would be like to have the initials B.S., and changed her mind. Thank God.

Anonymous said...

I honestly went to school with a girl whose name was Kandy K. Klann (I think the middle initial was for Kay, but I'm not positive about that). I always thought her parents were either astoundingly naive, or racists, and in the town were we went to school, either was possible.

Stacy said...

Quite sad, because the KKK and PMS cakes are actually quite pretty.

Lady H said...

Wow...those were some hilarious "wrecks"!

justme said...

Am I the only one who noticed how appropriate the dark red colour scheme is on the PMS cake??

LOVE the others. My friend was in the room with me and couldn't figure out why I kept laughing!

Kellie said...

Wow. No comment on the irony of the *red* ribbons and roses...?

I'm making a checklist of how NOT to order my wedding cake (for the distant future) based on those I see on CakeWrecks! Thanks for the research, Jen! :)

~Kellie

Kimberley said...

My initials are KGB and I've always wanted them on a monogrammed towel.

Lady Anne said...

Our middle daughter married a delightful fellow with the last initial G. She said all of the boys in the family had the middle name Albert, and they were naming their son Jackson. JAG - not bad. However, they fiddled around with names for their daughter - there aren't many J manes for girls, and then decided to forget the whole make-a-word thing!

BTW, did you add the PMS cake later? I missed it the first time around. Nearly as bad as SOB.

Shanti said...

My kindergarten was named the Kandy Kane School. My mother likes to tel the story about how one day they put up a sign reading "KKK: Kandy Kane Kids."

Needless to say, that sign came down extra-quick and never was seen again.

At least, I hope not...

Word verification: eafts. Really.

Samantha said...

I have a friend that almost ended up KKK, but his parents luckily realized in time and decided to spell Kalvin as Calvin. But most people still think his initials are KKK. And I really feel sorry for the little guy whose initials made it to the cake. I wonder if the decorator realized what he/she was writing at the time?

The Angry Jackalope said...

My son's initials are SHT. We really debated over it for a long time, but we decided to go with the names that honored our family members and the HST variant wouldn't work. He's six now and we have informed our families that he will never, NEVER hand his full monogram on anything. Sorry, kid!

cakegrl said...

I had a couple recently whose monogram spelled ASS, tried as hard as I could to get them to let me slip it in there somewhere but they didn't let me put it on the cake. Too funny.

Lucy's Pocket said...

I monogram itemss-- and I am always astounded at some of the monogram requests I receive:
Most recently- pMs aSs bUt mAd sAd (twins_ and yUk. I gently recommend that maybe they would want to go with initials instead-- but no one ever does.

Lucia said...

awesome cakes!!!
~lucia

La La said...

I would have loved to see the mother of the groom's face when she saw this cake. Ha Ha Ha! Way to start off a marriage!

Kari said...

My mother's initials were KKK growing up. She says they never thought anything of it until she was pretty old. It's a good thing she married a T, or I'd have been KKK, too!

Robyn said...

So why does everyone assume the KKK cake is made in the USA? In some cultures it wouldn't have the same meaning. Its just like so many people on Twitter getting upset when we in New Zealand were discussing our national rugby team - the All Blacks!

Passion Fruit said...

Woo Hoo! These are fabulously awful.

Thanks for the laughs!

nicole said...

OMG, thanks for making me laugh so hard today.

Oh, and my mom's initials were KKK. She got married at 18 and changed her name. Coincidence? I think not!

Katie said...

My initials before I was married were KKK. I went to Catholic school and had to wear a uniform; one year for Christmas, I received a monogrammed sweater to wear with said uniform...I only got to wear it once - Sister Kathleen made me take it off, and sent a lovely note home to my parents.

Sue said...

My mom's name was Barbara Mills - B.M. until she got married and became B.M.E., thank goodness.

Susan the shoppe owner said...

Hilarious!

Shaina said...

This is awesome! My husband and I were married almost 9 months ago, and I desperately wanted to incorporate our initials into our wedding. Our initials are S & M.

It didn't happen.

Anonymous said...

I just have to comment because my husband and my monogram would be "ASS".

I always thought it would be funny (and confusing for guests) if we got monogrammed towels.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me the last cake is not red velvet!

Kay said...

I wrote a post about these over in my wedding blog, and credited you.

http://bloggerofthebride.blogspot.com/2009/07/unfortunate-monograms.html


Thanks!

-Kay

Melissa (& Billy) said...

That last one is especially unfortunate, since it is rather lovely.

I do think the ribbon and rose color is, uh, rather ironic, though. 0_o

Paula said...

PMS - those are my initials!!!

Adam said...

Arthur Seymour Sullivan (of Gilbert and Sullivan fame) stopped using his middle initial after a friend of his sent him a little drawing of donkeys, saying it reminded him of his dear friend A.S.S.. It happens!

Anonymous said...

Monogram aside, on the other side of the baby cake, it looks like the baby is burying its face in a green pillow...?

Anonymous said...

it really adds to the PMS cake that the color scheme was that dark rose red, huh? *barf*

Kate said...

I'm suddenly very grateful to my mother, who made absolutely sure my initials (KAB) didn't spell anything too weird either in order or in a monogram format. My aunt wasn't so lucky. Before she got married her initals were BAR--not bad, until someone gave her a pendant with a formal monogram and they realized it read BRA.

Melissa said...

Haha! My husband is Scott and I am Melissa. What do you think people wrote all OVER the car when we got married?! S & M. Sad thing is they didn't even realize it...

eileen marie said...

HAHAHA! I almost wet my pants! My new last name begins with an "A," & our wedding colors being black, white & a splash of red, I wanted a giant red "A" on our aisle runner and our cake. Scarlet Letter, anyone? We ended up making our first initials red & the giant "A's" black. :) But man oh man-PMS, SOB?! My ex boyfriend's mother belonged to some club whose initials were "KKK." I saw a flier on their fridge for the next "KKK" meeting!

Mo said...

I've been reading your blog for months now and it just cracks me up. I really had to comment on this one.

My fiance's dad wanted his initials to be S.O.B. But his mom put the kibosh on that immediately.

That being said, our initials are S&M. I told him that if we get anything monogrammed it would have to be M&S because we just dont need that.

Anonymous said...

Wait, THAT is a pacifier?
It was until I read the comments that I realized. Because with the blanket and the impossible size ratio, I thought it was a bald baby head!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the guests didn't notice it, being so busy looking at the cubes...

Dr. Feelgood said...

My wife (Amber) and I (Tim) forewent the traditional monogram on our wedding napkins after pencilling out a pleasant design. We looked at the napkin and saw it: T&A

I couldn't convince her to keep them.

Jackie said...

I went to school with a girl, she, her brother and their dad all had KKK as initials I grew up in the country so it probably was intentional sadly.

Armenda said...

Ha! This is exactly why my fiance and I are not having anything monogramed! It would be aSs.. nice. I've thought about getting some guest bathroom towels done and see how uncomfortable it makes people.

Ranee said...

I dated a fellow in high school whose initials were S.O.B. I don't know if his parents didn't think or, worse, if they thought it was funny.

wv: dismou (n) a groan or grunt of dismissal. He didn't even bother to say goodbye. All she heard was a dismou.

Rawpower95 said...

Reminds me of my cousin's wedding cake that said "LSD" on it.

brista said...

I love the PMS cake. It makes a statement yet is elegant and demure. I hope it was for a hysterectomy/menopause party or a Red Hat Club meeting!

(But...it was probably just some old boring wedding.)

Anonymous said...

I as really glad, upon reading the comments, that I wasn't the only one thinking the baby footprints looked like there were kids trapped in the cake.

Anonymous said...

let's see...in my family there is my cousin is KKW (if she ever gets married, I pray the guy's last name doesn't start with a K); her sister EEW; my grandmother's initials using her first name, maiden name and married name are PMS; my mom's sister is (by birth) WSS, and now that I think about it, it reminds me of wuss; my dad's sister by birth is BMW; and I am NEW. yeah, my manager had fun with that when I started my job. I was literally the "NEW" girl. I also know a girl by the initials SEW, and my mom used to work with a girl who married a guy with the same last name as her first name, so she's now K*K. I have to know what her middle name is!!!

monograms are not one of my favorite things, so they will never be found on anything in my home.

I also wonder what was going through the decorator's head while making that KKK one, IF those are the child's initials. if it was the decorator's fault and they just got "carried away"...ummm...therapist please?