Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Well, at least it didn't say "Happy".
(And you have to admit: the glowsticks are an inspired touch.)

Mmmm, cancer rat.


Slice of dead Lenin, anyone?

I mean, it looks just like Lenin's perfectly preserved corpse, so I know you're salivating already. Why, just look how excited the kiddies are!

"No, not the cold shoulder; I want a slice of the iron fist! Now quit Stalin and get me some Lenin-ade to wash it down with, or this joint won’t be getting any high Marx from me."

Of course the best part was saved for the VIPs:


Ah, a little jawbone with a scoop of ice cream on the side... [kissing fingertips] magnifique!


Ellie P., Whitney G., & Ann W., I think I'm going to need a Unicorn Chaser, stat.

- Related Wreckage: Any Occasion Will Do


UPDATE: Wow, thanks for all the entries in the dead Lenin caption contest, guys! The winning caption is a combination of what Taylor, Jenniffer, the Suttons, & Anne S. wrote. Oh, and my friend Abby came up with "slice of the iron fist."

And here are a few more that made me laugh:

"Lenin cake again?" - Ivory Girl

"I said I wanted a LEMON cake." - Judy

"Well, it’s better than cancer rat.” – Chris

"Crotch, please!" - BookTender
«Oldest   ‹Older   401 – 548 of 548   Newer›   Newest»
Helen said...

"Oh my God, is THIS what happened to Grandpa?"

John and Marissa said...

"But I want to eat his heart!"

Gillich said...

"Daddy, can you give me a bigger piece?"

Beth said...

Girl: "Save the neck for me, Clark!"

Julie in Arlington said...

Is this a reenactment of the siege of Leningrad?

World's Drunkest Dad said...

Have your revolution and eat it, too.

frigglesnitz said...

"Seriously, I think this was the display cake..."

WV- tedolist - "I'll put that right on my tedolist, thanks."

Joshua Logan said...

The little girl's caption:

"This cake tastes like a red herring!"

buzzy said...

"Mom, Why couldn't I have just stayed home?"

Buzzy

lifeofleisa said...

"Is that Lenin gluten and sugar free? Mummy said I can't eat dictators with gluten and sugar."

Liz Larkin said...

"Mom you lied! This tastes nothing like Beatle!"

Lara said...

save the neck for me, clark!

Renny said...

"I want the Aorta!"
That girl is going to medical school, after all.
Of course, if that is Lenin, she said it in Russian. So it would sound more like this, "Я хочу аорту!"

Mandy said...

Holycrap, there are a lot of comments. Yowzers! ;o) Well, at least they're not all about the deep meanings of children's literature, eh?


I think she's saying:

I want the mustache! I WANT THE MUSTACHE!


(Wow, me and Elizabeth think identically. except for the caps.)

Mandy said...

MANCAKE!

Anonymous said...

Don't give me the cold shoulder!

heather said...

"save the neck for me, clark!"

oh, how i love national lampoon's christmas vacation!

Curses said...

I don't know what the girl's saying, but she'll make a very awkward funeral guest in the future.

Lindsay said...

I CALL THORAX!!!

Rachel said...

"Oh mummy, can I have the mustache?!"

Leslie Jackson said...

The little girl is saying.... "Give me his heart! i want his heart!"

Angelique said...

OH MY GOD, what am i eating?

homeschool mamma said...

"Oh daddy please can I have the clavicle?!"

Bev

EFG said...

I said I wanted the moustache!!

Julie said...

The little girl is saying "How come I get stuck with the shoulder...AGAIN!"

Mark said...

The mustache is mine, the mustache is mine!

sendingtheclowns said...

Little girl under server's elbow:
(Thinking): "Mister, you've got about one nanosecond to get your freaking elbow away from my head or you'll be IN that bed with the stiff!"
I'm not quite sure that the little girl on the left is saying anything, either. It looks sort of like a big YAWN, to me!
That, or she's about to sneeze--because the look on the glasses-man is like, "Oh, crap--I forgot to give little Sproinka her allergy meds, and that thing must be LOADED with preservatives!"

But I still want to play along, though, so:

Little girl on the left: "Hey! I have a yellow chenille bedspread just LIKE that!"

OR: She's just been struck with an idea: ("Whoa--I just had the most AWESOMEST idea! When I get married, I'M gonna have a life-size me and my husband AS the wedding cake! And-and they can stand side by side... and have a little tiny CAKE on their HEADS! And-and- I can send the picture to CAKEWRECKS and EVERYTHING!")
>^~~^<

Martha said...

No, no, no! Farther to the left! Not the flower! The heart, the heart!

Anonymous said...

Is that a booger in his nose or a spot of green frosting?

Crystal Pistol said...

What was his slogan again? Peace! Land! Bread! And Cake!

Dea said...

little girl:wait a minute....did that cake just blink!?

oregonmom said...

Little girl: Are you sure it didn't move. I swear I saw it move. I don't think this is safe to eat. I SAW IT MOVE.

Indy said...

"OMG, he's still breathing!"

Donna said...

Caption: "Oh darn, I thought you said it was JOHN LENNON. In that case, just give me the finger."


WV: lipater...I wonder who was the lucky lipater on that Lenin cake.

Barbara said...

The little girl is saying "oh ....he's a cake. " and then puts her plate away. Sorry, such a creepy cake called for a little cannibal 'humor'

Catherine said...

"No, not the shoulder! I wanted the ear!"

Jedesign said...

"I want the thyroid!"

Anonymous said...

"Oh I hope it's borscht and veal cake!"
Delighted little girl on Left, Lenin Caption Contest

Pathetic Otologist said...

"I SAID I wanted a part of his TIE!"

Carrietastic said...

"I CAN HAZ TASTEE DED COMMUNIST"

Chris las vegas said...

We want the wish bone.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I always get the shoulder!

mokie said...

And that was the end of communism. Well, except for the piece we took home for Grandma...

Julie said...

This is the first time anyone could accuse Uncle John of having taste. : )

smauge said...

"I bags the jugular!!"

natalie said...

"Look mommy! It's a Black Forest Bolshevik!"


Thanks for the hilarious photos you post on here. I love this blog....


-natalie

klixtopher said...

"Oh yummy, cherry filling!"

or

"Hey, this guy wasn't one of the Beatles!"

RainbowGnosis said...

What, no Watchmen cakes today? :-P

Giusi. said...

HAHA holy HELL! over 400 comments/!??!?! lol DAMN.

that DEAD person caked is seriously just EFFED up. i don't even have a comment for it
: // wtf???!!??!!

Alison said...

"Ah ah ah ah ah CHOOOOO!"

SarahMama said...

"It tastes just like I imagined!"

Sarah

Kristy said...

"I want the " 'stashe"!
Wow, what a neat idea, glow sticks on cake, lol!

Liv said...

I thought she might be saying, "That's it - go right for the jugular!"...

Seriously...a dead Lenin cake is quite disturbing! Well, I guess it could be worse...some bakery could have a "Communists in Cake" exhibition, and add a Marx & a Stalin cake to the collection!

Hmmmm...don't mind me! :P

Kevin said...

"Wow, and I thought communism was a lot to swallow..."

C said...

OMGOMG, is that yellow cake with fresh Bolshevik icing?

Bebesteph said...

"But Mommy, you told me we are all same underneath!"

AFWingMom said...

Just wanted to say that I've really enjoyed your blog! :) Fun stuff!
AFWingMom

BigMomma said...

I am deeply disturbed and a little peckish.

Hope said...

But I wanted the nose!

Kelly said...

"Something just fell out of his nose...can I have that?"


wv: calsifee If you want extra vitamins in that glowing frosting, I'll have to charge you the calsifee.

sami said...

I am just throwing in my vote for Just Jim's response. Funny!

Brown said...

Lenin Caption:
"So that's what a classless society looks like!"

"Can I have the red square?"

"Wow, communism really fell hard."

Polly said...

Little girl: "Ewww, why do I have to eat armpit?"

Otherwise, the glowsticks on the 3 Mile cake are pure genius.

^-.-^

Stephanie said...

Gimme a piece of his head,pretty please!

Anonymous said...

What I want to know is, who gets the crotch?

jeana said...

OMG he moved!!

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

"arrrrggggggggggggggggg don`t cut him THERE!"


there is something sick and demented about a dead person cake, I don`t care who that person is.

Lioness said...

Being a huge fan of sarcasm, I love the 3 Mile Island and the Cancer Rat cakes. (Although the 3 Mile Island one could have been done A LOT better)

The Lenin one...well...I'm just lost on that one. Why?
Seriously, Why?

Ellie said...

Oh, I wanted the nose.

Ellie

purplewowies said...

My caption:

(man cuts out eyeball and gives it to someone else)

Girl: Hey, that's not fair! The eyeball's the best part!

Yes, I'm aware he's cutting into the arm, but that's the best I could do. On to commenting about the cakes.

The cancer rat and corspe cake... eww! And the glowstick cake actually made me scream in PAIN.

KCSB said...

"No, I want the heart! Give the liver to my brother!"

Nikki said...

little girl: "BRAAAAINS..."

Christie said...

aorta cut it a little to the right~

Anonymous said...

Little girl: [yawn] I saw this on YouTube AGES ago.

The Baxxterr Gallery said...

I waited in line for hours in the freezing cold to eat CAKE??? I thought this was a communist cannibal convention!!

Anonymous said...

OMG they killed Dr Phil!

ME said...

"Even though Uncle John was a cannibal, I can't believe he went to this extreme!"

~Jana
hobbiesmakemehappy.blogspot.com

ME (A) said...

Obviously she's channeling Randy Quaid from Christmas Vacation when she says: "Ooh, save the neck for me Clark!"

The Suttons said...

Little Girl: "Aw I thought for sure it would be RED velvet!"

or

"Man I wish I had a nice tall glass of Lenin-Aid to go with that."

or

"That's it just a little off the left *wink wink*"

AaronJamesPatterson said...

"Yay! I always wanted to play 'Swallow the Leader'"

Ludovica said...

The Lenin Cake really takes the biscuit! There is no more That is the ultimate cake wreck. WHY? Its the most gruesome thing possible

Shira-chan said...

Little girl: "How come we didn't eat Grandpa when he died?"

Most. Disturbing. Cake. Ever.

David M. said...

Little girl: "Oh my god, is this cake left over from the Revolution?"

When it comes to cake, I say "Better dead AND Red!"

Jean said...

Wow, is that German chocolate cake?

Birdie said...

"Yummo, communism has never looked so appetizing"

Robin S. said...

Comment for the Lenin cake:

"Dibs on the 'stache!"

Scritzy said...

"And now we know what Hell is like."

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

Lori said...

"Can I have the mustache?"

knightsofneech said...

"scuse me mister!!! Daddy said I could eat the heart!"


(oh mum-she-by...oh mum-she-by..oh mum-she-by...) -The cannibal native chief from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

From Lisa C.

Allie J. said...

Little girl: Oh boy! Red velvet cake with strawberry jelly filling!!

my mom says:
Little girl: Why is it bleeding?


(Is it just me or does the cake look like a bald version of the server cutting into it?)

Hanna said...

Comedian Eddie Izzard had the famous "Cake or Death" routine... this, on the other hand is Cake AND Death :)

Jen L. said...

Whoa! He just blinked!

Stillapill said...

The Lenin cake reminds me of the 1989 movie "The Cook the Thief His Wife & Her Lover", a movie in which the cook actually roasts his wife's lover and serves him "whole body"-style on the table. Ugh!!

I think the girl is saying, "OMG! They are totally serving the cake the wrong way. You're supposed to start at the feet and move upward. Geez!!"

mulause - mute applause... what the audience did when the Lenin cake was brought out.

D.J. said...

She says,"Out of my way kid, I already called the shoulder!"

D.J.

Susan said...

"Uh oh... someone's got a chip on their shoulder."

Double N said...

"MMMM. Shoulder! I LOVE shoulder!"

O.K. That cake of Lenin....EEEEWWWWWW. I have a pretty strong stomach, but that kinda made it do a back-flip.

The Three Mile Island cake..well, I thought it said "Three Mike Ireland"...HUH?

The rat cake. Think about that. A rat. A cake. Blech!

Rach said...

She's not saying anything--she's singing!!

"You say you want a revolutio-on, we-ell you knoooooooow"

Espresso Mom said...

"Uncle Bert?!"

Mika said...

The little girl says, "I just saw him breathe!"

Anonymous said...

Judy got it best!

Gracie said...

Look! He even has long nose hairs like daddy!

Gracie said...

Look! He even has long nose hairs sticking out, JUST LIKE DADDY!

MikkiMouse said...

Caption:
"Sweet! I get his heart!"

ibeoncaffeine said...

"Where's the beef?"

The Momma said...

"To each according to his needs. I need more cake."

The Momma said...

I always thought communism would taste more bitter.

nurjmo said...

"Please sir, I want some MOREEE!" - notice how she's already got cake there...:)

Thank you, Jen, for such an amusing blog - sure brightens up my day! :)

The Momma said...

Don't give me the penis. I heard them say he screwed an entire nation.

Elizabeth said...

"I thought I'd be safe with just a small bit of shoulder...I was mistaken, it's still creepy."

It does take some talent to make a cake so life (scratch that) death-like. It wouldn't sicken us so much if it was poorly done.

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I 'nose' exactly what piece I want!

Stella

Katie said...

"So, this is what they meant when they say someone is cream-ated."

Sherry said...

I want the drumstick! Can I ? Can I? Can I have the drumstick?

Scott H said...

"How come we didn't get to do this when Grammy died?"

Scott and Katie said...

Gives a whole new creepy meaning to when Marie Antoinette said the starving masses should eat cake.

It's SoyLenin green! SoyLenin green is people!

Anonymous said...

girl: "who cares if it's a Lenin cake, I just want my photo on Cake Wrecks!"

girl: "my mom always taught me not to take my first bite until everyone was served.It'll be a long wait"

Scott H said...

"So that's what they serve at the Communist Party."

Angie said...

"Oh, I called for the left cheek first!"

Eric said...

"Rush said this is the only thing socialism is good for."

"Can I have a scoop of capitalism with this?"

"I LOVE Communism, it's tasty."

"More please!"

Procrastinateher said...

Mmm, I'd eat that dead person cake. Legal, tasty cannibalism people :)
What, you don't want any? All the more for me heheheh.
Who got the crotch?

Those glowsticks would work if Three Mile Island was the name of a show or place that'd had some weird X-Files stuff going on...

Sidenote: doesn't 'word verification' imply that the letters have to make up a word? I'm pretty sure arhesse isn't a word.

head in the clouds said...

" He's full of chocolate! Did you know he is full of chocolate.....HE"S FULL OF CHOCOLATE!"

Remember that this is being said in a little girls voice.

Eric said...

This just proves what Lenin said,

"Any cook should be able to run the country."

www.goinggreenaccidently.blogspot.com

motherzucker said...

Wait, Lenin said, "Any cook should be able to run the country." I'm thinking the girl is saying, "So THIS is what happens when grateful cooks run the country!"

Ann said...

little girl: "Go for the jugular! Go for the jugular!!!

SojournerTruth said...

Um, I don't think this was what Marie Antionette meant...

Nowax said...

Oh Boy! I hope MY piece tastes like formaldehyde!

Lorena said...

By the way, Lenin-ade is real. And quite tasty.(Yes, I've had it)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leninade

Jumper said...

I call dibs on the cancer rat!

Ian Andreas Miller said...

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/3838/plb10ru8.jpg

Cartoony Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky approve of that cake.

sendingtheclowns said...

"Awwww, LOOK! He's got a TEDDY BEAR in there with him!"

Jen said...

OMG too funny. Love the captions

Alison P. said...

"Quit Russian me! Is it best cut with an ice pick or a hammer?"

I've been reading Cake Wrecks for a while, but this is my favourite. I have a History degree and love bad puns so it was really a shoe in for favourite.

You guys are so funny.
- Alison

April said...

I think the little girl is just haranguing the server with, "Hey! You cut her a bigger piece. She got more frosting! I wanted a flower!...." The server is taking deep breaths so that he doesn't turn around, hold the knife to the girl's throat and say, "How would you like to join him in cake's sweet embrace!"

Kelly Cook said...

There is a great ska song about a cake of VI Lenin... just go to itunes, the band it Johnny Sokko and the tune is Vladimir Lenin... it's worth a buck

Dea said...

LOVE the puns!!!! LOVE THEM!!! :D

saachanx said...

MY COLLEGE IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER (ish) FROM THREE MILE ISLAND! And I went there. My boyfriend snuck me onto the engineering trip there. :D Aw, this holds a special place in my heart! Not really. I'm just a lame Japanese major who has a bunch of nerds for friends. And I loooove them.

Angela said...

Quick! Before he wakes up! x)

love2spooge said...

lol dead Lenin cake :D
i would like to try it :)

Anonymous said...

Next time PLEASE give a warning - I just f***g puked!

bardiera said...

I, personally, can forgive a Lenin cake given that the Russians have such a wonderful attitude towards cake. Any country that has full on gateau style cakes on the buffet for breakfast at their hotels has got to be allowed their little idiosyncrasies.

Italo said...

LENIN CAKE! Perfect cake. :)

Ellie said...

I am so proud. Don't ask me why one of my colleagues wanted to celebrate three mile island.

(Ellie P)

emtffzartman said...

I am the one who thought of and had the Three Mile Island Cakes (there were two) made. They were for a hospital that is within the area that would take patients if there were another problem at TMI. It is a lil sick, but funny.. Glad to see people like it!

Anonymous said...

that Lenin cake reminds me of the video for Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More". I had nightmares for weeks after seeing that for the first time when I was like 7 or so. Lenin is ALL cake. Alice still had a singing head, flailing arms, and kicking legs. *shudder*

Anonymous said...

it would be even more hilarious if the innards of the john lenin(sp?) cake were Red velvet XD

Puck said...

All I can say is .....

Click here.

JG said...

wow, these are great!

Misara Cousland said...

Anyone else notice that the "dead cake" looks a liiiiiittle like a bald version of the guy serving the face? This must have creeped him out.

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if you knew that Leninade was a real product? It's pretty good too.

http://leninade.realsoda.com/

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