Well, at least it didn't say "Happy".(And you have to admit: the glowsticks are an inspired touch.)
Mmmm, cancer rat.
Slice of dead Lenin, anyone?I mean, it looks just like Lenin's perfectly preserved corpse, so I know you're salivating already. Why, just look how excited the kiddies are!
"No, not the cold shoulder; I want a slice of the iron fist! Now quit Stalin and get me some Lenin-ade to wash it down with, or this joint won’t be getting any high Marx from me."
Ah, a little jawbone with a scoop of ice cream on the side... [kissing fingertips] magnifique!
Ellie P., Whitney G., & Ann W., I think I'm going to need a Unicorn Chaser, stat.
- Related Wreckage: Any Occasion Will Do
UPDATE: Wow, thanks for all the entries in the dead Lenin caption contest, guys! The winning caption is a combination of what Taylor, Jenniffer, the Suttons, & Anne S. wrote. Oh, and my friend Abby came up with "slice of the iron fist."
And here are a few more that made me laugh:
"Lenin cake again?" - Ivory Girl
"I said I wanted a LEMON cake." - Judy
"Well, it’s better than cancer rat.” – Chris
"Crotch, please!" - BookTender
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538 comments | Post a Comment
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 538 Newer› Newest»"oh you got lucky! I wanted the armpit!!"
Can you imagine getting the lips and chin???? Bleagh!
"When I die I want to be turned into a cake, too!"
"Why does Randy get the spleen? He always gets the spleen! I wanted the spleen! MOMMMMMMMM..."
"Can we please have Kruschev next year?"
"I want the drumstick! I want the drumstick!"
I want the heart...I want the heart
My caption:
"I think I saw his eye move. Are you sure that this is cake?"
Or
"I always wanted a piece of him!"
*yawn* "this cake isn't as good as Aunt Thelda's last year. At least I could ask for a gum-eyeball..."
"OMG!! HE BLINKED!"
Lenin? LENIN? What were they celebrating?
little girl: "Hey, quit Stalin and give me another piece!"
OOOHHH Can I pick my own piece??? Then I pick the nose.
I think the little girl is the great-granddaughter of the screaming guy in that Edward Munsch painting ;)
Jesus said "eat of this bread, for it symbolizes my body"
Marie Antoinette said "Let them eat cake!"
Lenin said "Let them eat cake, for it IS my body!
"Eek! Mommy said that only happens in movies!"
Also, I think the glow sticks were an inspired move, but that might just be me being weird...
Daddy, I want a piece with lots of icing- and a rose!
So I sit down for my lunch break, take a big bite of turkey sandwich, and scroll down to see... rats and corpses in cake form. Thanks for ruining my appetite!
I think she's saying " Sure, as long as there's no cream filling?"
I want the mustache!
"Ew, is that a worm coming out of his nose?"
I hear the eye is the BEST part!
-JessicaT
"Seriously? You gave Robby the carotid artery last time! This is just SO UNFAIR!"
"Can I have a piece with a rose on it?"
WV:swonde...this website is swonderfully evil and delicious
"I'll have the clavicle!"
daddy no! I said I wanted elbow...NOT shoulder! i HATE you!
Oh my, so many things that child could be saying...
"Holy Kremlin! That's just offal!"
"Crotch please!"
"Thanks Dad! This is the best birthday party ever!"
"Does anybody smell formaldihyde?"
"Great suit, man..."
"Waiter deoderant: Fail! Fail! Fail!"
"What? No giblet gravy?"
"Did this happen to grandma when she went to heaven, too?"
"Great and Glorious Soviet Socialist Republic WIN!"
"I can't believe it's not corpse!"
"Cannibalism is fun!"
Dad: "We're commerating the Siege of Stalingrad. Grandma told me they had to result to very creative cookery for the glorious Union of Soviet Socialist Republic in those dark days of hunger and struggle."
"Down with the proletariat!"
"I want the nose piece! I don't care if James Lipton* already called dibs. Fine then, I get the cochlea."
(*see bald, bearded man behind her)
Girl: Please to give me blanket or pillow. I don't want to eat an old man's arm.
Her Father (glasses, beard, behind the server): Is Lenin! Our great leader! You vill eat the arm and like it!
(sorry for the Boris & Natasha accents - I'm a child of the 60s)
Whoever thought to make a Lenin/Han Solo mashup cake is a GENIUS
"Mmmm...Socialicious!"
"Moooommmmmmm!!!!......What are you doing???"
Little Girl: How come I have to eat the armpit?!
"Mmmmmm....Lenin! Nom...nom...nom...nom...nom...nom...."
Any Eddie Izzard fans out there? Just goes to show that you don't have to choose between cake or death.
"I wanted a cake shaped like a horse, not John Lennon!"
Well....at least they aren't making me eat a Michael Jackson cake.
Look, Dada, there's a quote:
"Any COOK should be able to run the State...."
"I wanted shoulder, not some icky toe fungus!"
Well.......at least it isn't a Michael Jackson cake.
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
"Dead dictator cake? What a 'revolutionary' idea!"
"Mommy,they're stabbing the sleeping guy!"
"In Soviet Russia, cake wrecks you!"
I promise I'll be good! PLEASE don't turn me into cake!
Can I have a little more brachial artery filling on that?
"but moooooooooom! i wanted chocolate! this cake tastes like Marxism and vodka!"
'Tastes like chicken!'
"Yea! Dark meat."
That's just grooooooss.
I am just glad they didn't use red velvet cake. Scary. I think the little girl is saying she doesn't want a chunk of shoulder, she wants the dudes nose.
Oh, crap. Kyle wins.
I want a corner piece!
The last picture reminded me of Sacha Cohen in Sweeney Todd....
"I shava the beard."
Don't give me the armpit! I don't waaaaant the armpit!
Oops that should have read...
I want a CORONER piece!
(not corner)
Janie said...with all those brains and heart...you probably had to have a courage just to eat it...as for the rat..think it was a red cake? YUCK
"I want the heart!"
Well, Russia has a museum with a whole section dedicated to deformed babies in jars. The Lenin cake is pretty tame compared to that...
"I want the breast!"
"Dibs on the funny bone"
There is sooooooo much wrong with this thing that words cannot describe.
"Mommy, when I die, can I be chocolate cake?"
~Flemmily
She is quaoting Willy Wonka in the new version Everything in this room is eatable even you, that is called cannibalism and is frowned on in most cultures. Well that is what I thought when i saw this!
"Is that grape Kool-Aid on the other table? Mmmmmm"
Anyone else get a "Tom Petty / Alice in Wonderland" video vibe from eating a person lying in state cake? Shivers.
She´s thinking: ¨Oh, no...if thís is the cake-version, then whát did we have a the communist party last night?¨
Or, perhaps,
¨Hey, they´re giving me the cold shoulder!¨
"Daddy, does this mean that we are really, really poor? I mean, we're eating Lenin!"
"Yes father... I am proud to remove Comrade Lenin's embalmed body from Red Square. He deserves a proper burial in mah BELLY!"
Ok, I didn't read all the posts I'll admit--but I'm voting for this caption:
The Kitchen Gadget Goddess said...
"No fair! I wanted the cold, dead spot where his heart was supposed to be!"
This made me laugh as I was attempting to eat a scone--bad combo.
And that Lenin cake has got to be one of the biggest stomach turners you've posted. And I was eating. :(
WV: comablim....What the Lenin cake looks like it's in...
"MOM! I wanted CHOCOLATE!!"
"Communism is morally, ethically, spiritually, physically positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead. It is not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead."
"Good! Let's eat!"
"He'll not be giving me the cold shoulder again" :)
ooooooooo, I want his heart! Why is it cold? Is this ice cream cake?
You can't split the shoulder in half! I wanted the whole thing!
I wanted to say "Hey, I think it's still moving!" but two people wrote that already...
There better not be real hair in that!
Hey! I wanna piece of the moustache, mister!
"Yeah, yeah. No amount of political freedom will satisfy the hungry masses, but a bigger slice than that freakin' sliver would help, Comrade!"
Go for the jugular!
Girl:
"You know, my mom said chocolate was better pre-Peristroika!"
W. Reynolds
NYC
"My mom told me that I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend. I say that's Bolshevik! I destroy my enemy when I eat him limb for limb."
This cake must be from a future cannibals of the world rally?
WV: Inuroo. After hearing her daughter say that, her mom yelled, "get inuroo...." but stopped abruptly when her daughter shot daggers at her that indicated she might be the next destroyed enemy.
"DADDY! I wanted a Beatles themed party with a LENNON cake! Can't you get anything right?"
Look close....second girl on the left is coming back for seconds. eeekk.
That other poor child in the middle looks traumatized. I would be too!
Becky
Dearly Beloved,
We are gathered here today
to eat Cancer Rat.
Little girl is saying "Cool, they included Maggots!"
"I said left TESTICLE, not left ventricle!"
For a communist dictator, he really is very sweet on the inside.
For a communist dictator, he really is sweet on the inside.
"Next year, can I have a dead cancer rat instead of a dead russian cake?"
Daaad, I wanted a piece of his chin!
She's saying
"I get the wishbone!!!"
I think the little girl looks like she's about to throw up on the cake. I know I would.
"Daddy... Daddy... why are you cutting that man's head open?"
I can SO see that kid doing her first animal dissection in school. "Teacher, why doesn't this frog taste like cake? Lenin did!"
ew! i don't want any blood on mine!!
(...and the tom petty song is "don't come around here no more")
Is it wrong that I want to make a Soylent Green joke?
Lenin cake is made out of people!!!!!!!!! We've got to stop them somehow...
lol
Who knew an ear tasted like chicken.
Lookin4ws
"Eat up, fat capitalists. Soon you will be crushed beneath the iron boot of the proletariat!"
"Oh, look! It's all red and runny inside! Is that strawberry filling?"
"Yes! Armpit!"
Ahhh, red velvet? I wanted German chocolate! Waaaah!
"Byyyye... Lenin!" (sung like 'By Mennen')
"Whether in cake-form or a mausoleum, Lenin's in things!"
Okay, I think I'm out of caption ideas now. That's fun though. Jen should do this more often.
myolderbrothers.blogspot.com
"I think he's moving!"
Shame, Comrade! Cake is the opiate of the masses . . . and it goes straight to my thighs.
ugh the armpit, I hope it is shaved
ugh the armpit, I hope it is shaved
Nose, I want the nose.
No, I said give me the heart! I want the heart of Mother Russia!
MMmmmmmm RIBS!
But *I* wanted the SPLEEEEEEEN!!!!
The girl is saying - "OOOOhhh can I have an eye! Please!"
"But Eddie Izzard said, Cake or Death? I don't want both."
She's saying, "DO NOT WANT!"
or at least that's what I would be saying.
wv berrific: used to describe something terrifically bad. "The Dead Lenin Cake is berrific"
So I said, "But Mama, it's a dead person!" and Mama said "You'll eat some Lenin and you'll like it!" so now I have to eat the Father of Communism.
"Hey! Where are the glowsticks?"
Or perhaps the classic: "Where's the cream filling?"
Ewwwwwwww!!! I thought it was a cake!!!
"When Daddy said we'd be having a celebrity over for dessert I was hoping he meant that Mariah Carey was gonna bring us ice cream cones"
NO! I want his heart!
The girl: "I call Daddy's left eyeball!"
p.s. i <3 cake wrecks =)
hey that piece of arm is bigger than mine!
"I've heard of eating your heart out, but this is ridiculous!"
"Wow! That looks just like my Uncle Murray! Gimme some chin!"
"It's amazing how they even captured his ever present 5 o'clock shadow."
"Hey Look! Uncle Bob's likeness is dead-on! Cool!"
and the little girl said; "mmmmm revenge is sweet!"
I said I wanted linens on the table at my party, not Lennin!
She looks to me like she's yawning: 'Not another dead Socialist for dessert, Mom.'
"I didn't know Lenin had a mustache!!!"
I said I wanted linens on the table at my party, not Lenin!
I'm more of a McCartney fan, myself.
"STOP CUTTING THE CAKE! THAT'S THE ACTUAL CORPSE!"
"Hey Mom?"
"Yes Dear?"
"Remember the priest with the bones from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?"
"...yes?"
"Can i do that?"
"No, you are not sticking your hands into the cake."
"Aw, but Mooooom!!"
"No, there's no heart anyways"
"There might be."
"I said no."
(at this point, she gives up on Mom and asks the servers. I'll leave that conversation to your imagination)
Oh! It's just cake? I thought it was the real guy, never mind then!
"I thought that Mama said this guy was full of beetles an' wings!"
She looks like she's saying...."oh but DAAAADDYYYY!! I wanted Lenin's MOUSTACHE!! **Hrmph!**"
I am imagining the most super-fun (and delicious) medical school ever.
How about one more:
"This cake is commulicious!"
Jared
WOAH Grandpa got turned into cake! I call part of the nose and a rose!
As humorous as the wreck is, I'm getting a rather hearty kick out of the comment "I can't believe he used to play with Ringo!" left above.
I'm really rather hoping he was trying to be funny in his wrongly identified "Lenin/Lennon".
"But I thought uncle Joe was dead?"
or
girl:"can I cut"
guy w/ knife: "sure kid"
girl:*stabbing* "and thats for stepping on my doll and for calling me princess" *etc*
Suggested caption:
"Grandpa?!?!"
WHYYYYY is the Lenin cake LIFE SIZE? Isn't a cake of a dead body traumatizing enough without being the same size as the person? Also, how many people were at this event (whatever strange human-eating ritual it was...) to eat a human-sized cake?
The girl is clearly just yawning, she was much more impressed with the Stalin cake she ate last week.
"Daddy always said a new bike would cost me an arm and a leg. Well, with Lenin's arm I am halfway there. Hooray!"
Leslie S.
"he just winked at me! i promise!"
"Better dead than eating a Red!"
"Mommy, this doesn't look as yummy as the cookies with Trotsky's ashes baked in!"
"You guys gave me a Lenin cake for my birthday last year, and it gave everybody the Trotsky's."
"Lenin, though a brilliant man, was unwise to hold a communistic revolution in Russia, as it was still under feudalism. Therefore, there wasn't the same alienation from the product or ability to experience the horrors of capitalism, which is why communism hasn't worked so far. With that said, GIMME THE PIECE WITH THE GOATEE OR I'LL SCREAM!!"
"Ooo look! He's red on the inside too!"
"In Soviet Russia, cake cuts you!"
Sorry, couldn't resist.
"PAPA!!?!?!"
Who makes a dead body cake! EWWWW!
The glow-sticks, the rat...WHY? On second thought, those should be combined to create a radioactive rat. You know, for when cancer research goes horribly wrong.
And for the girl, I think she's saying, "OMG, yall!"
i think she is saying
"if i can eat grampa, can i eat my brother too?"
Someone savoring their cake is saying, "He always did make the best cakes."
OMG! The corpse cake made me so nauseous. Yuck!
Dibs on the eyeballs.
oh my cake it has a last name, it's L E N I N....
As totally bizarre as that Lenin cake is, I have to admit it is extremely well made. And that doesn't even look like fondant!
I have never been moved to nausea by a cake before. I'm not a squeamish person. Lenin-cake, however, got me gagging at my desk. The Three Mile Island cake ain't helping; I had Chernobyl nightmares all last night, and this is NOT what I needed.
Congratulations on finding truly horrifying pastry.
"I made you a dead Commie...but I eated it."
"Wow, this is WAY better than Misha's party! HER mommy only served dic-tator tots!"
"That's not a CUPCAKE Socialist, is it? (ptui!)"
wv: dedee. "In order to be considered for today's Cake Wrecks feature, you must be a dedee."
she said,
"I FREAKING LOVE CAKE!"
...who cares what shape it is?? Come on people!
First of all:
I've seen Lenin in his tomb, and that cake is very creepily accurate, pasty shiny skin and all...
Second of all:
"I'll take the shoulder this time, but when there's a Putin cake it's my turn to have the shiny bald head!"
I think she's rethinking her decision to become a doctor!
Server guy: You are what you eat.
Little girl: But I don't want to be a communist!!!
She is saying "Oh no, dictator again!"
I want the heart! I want the heart!
Mommy why are they cutting into our dead leader?
I vote for Judy's "Lemon Cake" comment as well, that's priceless.
Or, maybe it was a phone order! (what wreckorater was thinking)...lemon, lenin...whatever.
"So that's what my innards look like.....huh."
"I didn't know THAT'S where cake came from! Eeewww...."
Заполнение тапиоки взгляда Ohhh!
Translates to: Ohhh look tapioca filling!
This is the best caption yet! What happens when you neglect grammar and punctuation when entering text into a translation site.
You came up with "Filling of tapioca glancing." They could not translate the "Oh" because of the surplus of "hhhhh." (I won't even start with the fact that the "filling" is translated as filling in documents, not cake filling.)
Filling of tapioca glancing. Aw, yeah.
Psst! The best meat's in the rump!
(Simpsons Quote)
"How did Grandpa turn into a cake? OMG you want me to EAT him??!! NOOOOOO!!!"
"Yum, This doesn't taste like just any old communist...did you use buttercream!?"
"that pansy-ass knife is not going to cut through bone, captain. MOVE."
"OMG they used red velvet!"
"This cake tastes surprisingly good for having been sitting in a glass coffin for the last 80 years."
"Filing of tapioca glancing"
That makes me VERY happy.
That, and 375 comments...
She's reciting this poem:
There is a well known portrait/upon the classroom wall/it shows the face of Lenin/so dearly loved by all./ His eyes are kind and honest/with cleverness they burn./ He tells the Soviet children/ that we must learn and learn!
Oh no! Not the jugular!!!!
This reminds me of the "Star Trek: Next Generation" episode where Data gets into the holodeck with Freud. At the end of the show, Counselor Troi gives Data a cake of himself. Data wonders what Freud would think of that. Troi responds, "Relax, Data. . . .sometimes a cake is just a cake!"
In spite of that, I think Freud is rolling in his grave over this one. Ewwwww
What the little girl is "saying"? I don't think she's saying anything. I think she's drawing in a gasp of breath that's about to come out in an ear-piercing scream of pure horror.
"He moved! I swear he moved!"
WV- talinarm: I want some more talinarm off that last cake, please.
More chin, please!
NOOOO....I don't want armpit!
"Lenin creme--my favorite"
urgh, dead lenin mummy cake. It's bad enough to have a person-cake. It's another level of bad to have a dead-person-cake. It's another thing all together to have a dead-person-cake resembling said person's mummified corpse.
"Is this what the Bible means when it says, 'The jawbone of an ass?'"
Btw, I only recently discovered your blog. I spent like three hours reading and laughing. I facebooked it to everyone.
Wreck on.
"Is this cake fondant free?"
"Grandma's death cake was SO MUCH better"
"The neck bone's connected to the shoulder...they shoulder's connected to the arm bone..."
"Hey, wasn't it about a week ago we watched that movie together?"
Wow...that's all I have to say...
-Lindsay A.
"I love Lenin cake after a Chairman Mao pig roast!"
"No!! I told you I wanted his foot, not his shoulder!!"
Please, please, someone, do some research and find out the backstory on the Lenin cake!!!!!
Research question: WTF?
Place/date/occasion/consequences. . .
"NOOOO! Daddy, he's killing him! He's killing him!"
"Dibs on the spleen!"
"Lenin? I thought it was supposed to be Lennon."
"Don't eat me too!" *starts crying*
Little Girl: "In Communist Russia- Lenin eats you!"
"I think he has a runny nose..."
If you put the dead person cake with the bride cake it becomes that new movie sequel, "The Corpse Bridegroom". Beef cake (not) married to cheesecake. Have a heart, cat got your tongue, the terrible puns keep rolling in. Hey, I never thought to get a cake like that, but my oldest child was born the day 3 mile island blew and yes the glow sticks are an excellent touch.
"Oh my God, is THIS what happened to Grandpa?"
"But I want to eat his heart!"
"Daddy, can you give me a bigger piece?"
Girl: "Save the neck for me, Clark!"
Is this a reenactment of the siege of Leningrad?
Have your revolution and eat it, too.
"Seriously, I think this was the display cake..."
WV- tedolist - "I'll put that right on my tedolist, thanks."
The little girl's caption:
"This cake tastes like a red herring!"
"Mom, Why couldn't I have just stayed home?"
Buzzy