Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The "Year" of the "Grad"

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Grad Wreckage is still pouring in, and here I'm rapidly running out of snappy titles. Drat.



In higher education, time loses all meaning.


See? Even the footstool-wearing stomach-cloud knows "that".


Talk about a repeat-offender: we've got you on 19 counts right here, Wreckerator!

And one more for you "unnecessary" quotation marks fans:

Congrats "class" of "09"?

Looks like someone couldn't take the quotation mark abuse anymore and decided to teach that cake a lesson. It kind of worked, too; it's much harder to notice the quotes now.


And speaking of hard-to-read cakes, there oughta be a law against squiggles that look like words:

Elle? Ollie? Edie? Why does the confetti look like writing, and the diploma scroll look like a Seuss hat? Especially when everyone knows you're supposed to make them look like Swiss Rolls, like this?

(Wreckerators, some day you and I need to have a chat about curly ribbon.)


And you thought your senior prom was awkward.



David R., Anony, Judi I., Jenny T., Kristin L., Sarah F., & Steph H., way to "go"!


- Related Wreckage: And They Say Customer Service is Dead
Stephanie said...

0901 is an actual graduating class for military schools.

Judy said...

Just what did the people of the 4th cakes graduation cake graduate from? The Freddy Kruger School of Horrors?

Anonymous said...

Wow, these are just... sad. I almost feel bad for laughing at them.

That said, what's with the footballs on the one graduation cake? It looks like a generic cake at the local grocery store, but surely it has to be for the football team. I mean, I'd hate to think the bakery is discriminating against the newspaper and chess clubs - or the teams for basketball, soccer, baseball, cheerleading...

Fluffy Cow said...

The red cross Seuss hat has made my day!

I seem to be worrying less about the upcoming generation... they can't possibly get much worse that the people who made these cakes.

Mandy said...

Anyone notice the teeny tiny "congrats" on the Swiss Cake Role Diploma?

Eternal Lizdom said...

Man- I wish I was a member of the Class of Dave...

Molly C said...

I had a dream about CCCs last night. It's official. Cake Wrecks is infiltrating my dreams.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The second cake is for Casper's graduation;

The fourth cake would make an AWESOME poster for a teen slasher movie;

The sixth cake is celebrating a young girl's transition into womanhood.

Auntie Meme said...

I went trolling for wrecks yesterday in the local supermarket. Falker's Day "ties" galore. But apparently they don't do CCCs. That's why I'd never heard of them. Let's hope the decorators stay away from the CakeWrecks site.

Matt Frye said...

Re UMFO 0901....that's not someone's mistake, but rather how the military does class numbers.

UMFO refers to the Undergraduate Military Flight Officer (UMFO) course, not some "University of..." and 0901 refers to the first class (01) that graduates in [']09.

Stephanie said...

I'm thinking the Wreckerator who did the first cake took a little trip in a time machine just prior to decorating said cake... that's the only explanation I can think of.

Alix said...

Wow, those are rich! Love the bloody congrats cake. Nothing says party on like a gruesome blood soaked cake. Or is that just runny red mascara? Either way...

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Hahaha! My favourites would be the 0901 and the one that looks like it's bleeding :P I wonder what education must've been like in the year 0901 :P

justfrosting said...

Oh Jen--the curly ribbon discussion is WAYYYYY overdue. I look forward to the complete seminar.

"and you thought your prom was awkward"-I just spewed diet coke all over my monitar...now how do I explain THAT to the IT guys?

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Poor, poor "grads" with their sad, sad cakes.

Angie (www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Liz said...

Cake #4 looks like it should be Carrie White's cake "they're all gonna laugh at you!" Happy Graduation what's left of Bate's High '09

~Liz

Maria said...

i think the fourth one just couldn't take the "quotes" abuse anymore and is weeping for the future of humanity.

and the sixth one... um... please tell me i'm not the only one who's first thought wasn't "swiss roll"? anyone? anyone? bueller? come on, i can't be the only perv... can i?

Angie said...

Just out of curiousity, does that first cake say "UMFOgettable"? As in unforgettable?

That's just not right.

Lindalou said...

Brilliant comment on the last cake.

Judy said...

We hired a decorator at one of the bakeries. The first thing he did was buy a copious supply of curling ribbon. Turns out he was a one trick pony and couldn't produce a cake if his life depended on it without curling ribbon. Since CCC's get a hyuck pitooey each time they are spoken of I think curling ribbon cakes AT LEAST deserve a pbbbbbrrrt! :P

Curling ribbon: the tools of destruction of no-talent cake decorators

Bryna said...

I kinda like the stepstool CCC. :) Call me crazy, but I do!

Melinda said...

Awww, why did people have to ruin our fun and provide an explanation for the 0901 cake? I liked it better when it made no sense.

And yes, discuss the curly ribbon! Every time I see it I think of how the texture must be if a piece broke off and ended up in your mouth...and then I gag.

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

hehehe, ok. It took me about four reads of the first cake to figure out what they might be trying to say, and I'm a military wife. People need to leave the puns to the experts(UMFO - military- using it to complete "unforgetable"...). It's still a wreck even if you understand it... at least that's what I'm assuming it's from. And the last one is priceless. hehehe.

Charlene said...

Swiss roll, eh?

O-kay....

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Ah yes, the bleeding cake. How appetizing!

JoMama said...

Why is the poor cake "crying"? Did it get a boo-boo? Speaking of boo, the CCC looks like a ghost with a hat.

Anonymous said...

I like the cake with the hat and the diploma.

Even if it is a cupcake cake.

And even if they've decided quotation marks are the equivalent of punctuation jazz hands.

Anonymous said...

(Seuss)

desibarbossa said...

Aww man, I wish *I* got a Sweeney Todd cake for graduation. My CNA instructor just made us get a sheet cake with a grad figurine on it :-P

Amy said...

The fourth cake down looks like someone bled all over it. Good for those graduating vampires! Is it red velvet inside? :-p

The last one sounds like a messed up love triangle.

~Amy B

wildmaven said...

"diploma scroll"?? "Suess hat"?? Looks more like a nuclear power plant with steam coming out of it and a red cross on the stack to boot! Go wreck!

Freya said...

in answer to your snappy title issue, hows about "congruptiations" grualuates!
i love your site, keep up the good work! -freya

TeratoMarty said...

Rocky Horror Picture Cake!

Hyena Overlord said...

I thought the Dr. Suess cake said "eww" all over it.

And nope, didn't notice the congrats on the swiss cake*L*

The scrolls look like my dogs rawhide chews.

Deputy's Queen said...

OMG ok I am really sitting here LMAO at this one.. it was great especially the stool wearing cloud cake...hahaha

Anonymous said...

OH these are the best in awhile. I'm laughing out loud. I love the one with an opened tin can (opening a can of whoop-azz?) of Red Cross First Aid. THe best part is the little squiggles all over it, I saw "eeeeeeeee" somebody shreiking in terror. That's one scary "class" there.

And the "class" of "09". Perhaps it's making fun of how the class has no class. Lily

The Hoffman Kids said...

Saw this today and thought you'd enjoy it.
http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/06/photos-from-the-jell-o-mold-competition-events-food-art/

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Crap...now I want a swiss roll.

Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/2009/06/list-of-raffle-prizes-ever-growing.html

Jessica Brown said...

Seuss hat? Looks more like a smokestack to me.

VB said...

Ow.

Even after I read about the diploma roll looking like a Seuss hat, I took about 2 minutes to find it.

I didn't consider the diploma roll itself because I was trying to figure out how the Red Cross fit in.

Morgan the Muse said...

Well, at least, they probably all tasted good. Hopefully.

LaLanya said...

Ahhh come on Jen show some love for the curly ribbon. It adds so much class, so much style, and sometimes (if you use it right) so much (one eye brow up and nose wrinkled) ewwwww.

Stephanie said...

In regards to the first cake, they should have just left the border alone. For me, the yellow squiggles is the most atrocious aspect of that cake. Oh, and the first thing I noticed about the fifth cake was the red cross. I had no idea what it was supposed to be until I read your remark.

Miranda said...

Seriously those were done by pros? Icing that isn't smooth, scribbles in place of decoration, etc... aieeee!

Cyndi said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the bleeding cake was a Carrie prop.

*shudder*

WV: ostle - These graduations cakes are simply ostle.

Debbi said...

"... quotation marks are the equivalent of punctuation jazz hands."

OMG! That is The. Best. Line. EVER!!!

Anonymous, may I use that line? That is so stinkin' funny!

Angela said...

See, even the "class" of "09" cake is crying. Or injuring itself in some manner.

And man, I'd like to be part of the class of Dave.

Cait said...

I love the bleeding "class" of "09" cake. It looks like someone tried to put it out of its misery.

Amy Ellen said...

The last one was too funny, of course thats only due to the comments!! Love your humor.

Amy

Mekoveya said...

Did any one else think that those diploma's looked a little bit like cigarettes? Especially the first one with all the curly, smokey writing? What kind of message are we trying to send the class of '09 anyway?

Emily said...

Even if you understand the first cake (military, as has already been explained), it's still a wreck...uneven centering, the "gettable" is something I'd like to forget, and the tadpoles swimming around the border... poor "class"

Judy said...

Squiggle borders the 2nd tool in the arsenal of the cake decorators with no talent (curling ribbon still being #1)

Really Jen, I think we're all ready for "the talk".

The curling ribbon talk that is :D

WV: Whoeste - whoeste be those who go to cake decorators with no talent and expect beautiful cakes.

Anonymous said...

The first thing I thought when I saw the second form the bottom was
pipe bomb, but that's just me.

Anonymous said...

My cousins husband went to a small (tiny) christain school and was the only person to graduate his year so maybe that's what's up with the last cake.
She has a good time giving him a hard time about it. She will ask him at random times if he is at his high school reunion,or how it felt to be valadictorian, or to graduate at the bottom of his class (or the top). All in good fun.

Anonymous said...

I saw something totally diffrent at first glance of cake #6.

msyendor said...

Oh, hey. New class graduation. Not Carrier. Twilight.

NLC said...

Okay, has no one else noticed the TERRIBLE icing job, and the big swipes of icing on the cake board for the UMFOgettable cake? I mean, even if it IS written correctly...I'd be takin' that baby back for a refund.

Loth said...

'UMFOgettable'... What are they trying to say?

"You're just so, um, fogettable?'

Anonymous said...

I love the Swiss roll diploma ccc solely for the one teeny-tiny plastic Congratulations thing. Totally makes it.

Nicola said...

It might be the fact that I work at a sexual health clinic, but that curly-beribboned swiss roll scroll looks a lot like a badly-drawn penis to me!

Mamawheelie said...

Thanks, Matt Frye, for the explanation. I knew the "0901" was a military class number (my husband was in the Navy), and was going to guess that the "UMFO" ended in "Officer", but your response is much better than mine would've been. :D (Now, the edging on said cake is questionable, but...)

Jen said...

Anonymous alluded to this above, but I'd like to use quotes correctly and point out that it is "Seuss" rather than "Suess". In my opinion, "Suess" is the CCC of the children's literature world....

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to point out how the swiss cake roll diploma looks like a toilet paper roll and the two brown cupcakes look like a doodie. :)

Lynn said...

Oh, no !
More plastic junk on cakes is just not right and when it is repeated over and over, it is worse...lazy decorating alert !

Glory von Hathor said...

Great, now I'm probably going to look up clips from Carrie on youtube before I go to sleep. I can see where this is going.

Scritzy said...

Ah, the vampire grad cake. You knew there had to be an entire class made up of "Twilight" fans, didn't you?

Anonymous said...

I personally graduated in the class of Andy, Dave and Steven, but we didn't get a cake :(

Jessica said...

I was at the drug store earlier and they had Father's Day and graduation stuff on clearance. Some of the plates said :

Con"grad"ulations!


Made me think of Cake Wrecks, but at least they used quotes to show they knew they were spelling it wrong :)

Trish said...

The bleeding cake is WAAYYY nasty. I coulda eaten a piece if not for the "seepage". Cake and seepage do not work together!

On the subject of curly ribbon, why do decorators put ANYTHING inedible on a cake to start with?! If you have to unload mega poundage of undigestable crap before you eat something, what the heck is the point of putting it on there in the first place? If I can't slice it and stuff it in my face ASAP, I don't want it!

Hawkeyerant said...

The second to last cake totally looks like penis-wrapped-in-a-bow. Congratulations, grad!

Wolvie Girl said...

The Dr Seuss hat red cross diploma looked more like an open can to me, and those strange random squiggles look a bit like worms. So graduating is like opening up a can of worms? Well I suppose it is in some cases.

Meanwhile the one below looks very disturbing, for all the reasons other posters have listed. And what's with the curly ribbon anyway? There's already a ribbon done in icing, so it's just superfluous. And I thought curling ribbon was meant to look pretty, this stuff looks like roadkill.

Big Doofus said...

I used to like cupcakes until you exposed all of the cupcake abusers in cakedom.

denestria said...

Oh dear god! Whatever you do don't follow the Jello link Hoffman posted if you ever want to eat Jello again in this life time. I think I'm going to be sick.

Anonymous said...

Um, is that cake supposed to say "UMFOrgettable" or "UMFOgettable"? Because I don't see an "r" there.

Amy said...

Please fix the tag on the "0901" cake. The number is correct, which makes it not classifiable as a cakewreck.

The border, and crooked spelling, however, put it squarely in the cakewreck list.

The tagline just shows the wrong reason for right now.

Athena said...

Aagghh!! The quotation marks! Make them stop!

I see an updated version of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" with Mickey trying to stop the hordes of quotation marks from enclosing all that is said...

ThemePark said...

Hmm, the squiggly line on the Red Cross cake looks more like arabic than an attempt at writing actual English words.