First, fellas, take note: This is NOT how you do it.
"So I was picking up some salami, right? And I see this cupcake thing. Anyway, long story short, I figure, hey, it's cheaper than a real one, and I could go for some nosh right now anyway..."Once the engagement is set, some couples like to celebrate by getting something big, shiny, and misspelled:
+-+copy.JPG)
While others like adopting fun new aliases...
Some couples like to keep the guests guessing:
"So did they get their degree, or are they getting married?"(Answer: getting married. Yes, really.)
Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:
+.+lw+.+engagement+copy.jpg)
Aaaeeeeiii!!"Pay up, Bub, or your fiance loses her other hand."
Hey, Paula T., Anony, Veronica, Amanda G., & Anony 2, [pointing with two fingers] engage.
(I've always wanted to do that.)
- Related Wreckage: Hey Nurse, Slip Me Some Tongue!
(I've always wanted to do that.)
- Related Wreckage: Hey Nurse, Slip Me Some Tongue!
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135 comments | Post a Comment
That disembodied hand is a little off. Er, alot off.
Ew.
The hand cake! Argh. Though it is a well-done severed limb.
I so saw a cake for you yestertday. A badly done grill with plastic shish kabobs. If only I'd had my camera.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
HOLY SNIKEYS! That last one is HILARIOUS! XD
Holy crap. I vote no more engagement cakes. Ever.
I'm the first commenter...yippee!! The hand one is definitely freaky....don't think I'd want to eat that. I LOVE your blog...it makes me smile daily!!
Bwaaahahaha! That creepy hand cake made me laugh out loud! As for that green cake - well, it's gobsmackingly awful. A most unappetizing colour.
holy crap that is creepy...
Marry Me or Else????
WV: kedge (v); to frost to a depth of 1 inch or more.
"Madge, be sure to kedge around the side of that CCC. We don't want them to know we built this from cupcakes."
That last cake looks like the future Mrs. Thing decided to take a page out of Chidi Ogbuta's bridezilla handbook.
You know what would make that hand oh so slightly less creepy?
Nail varnish.
Actually, thinking about it, NOTHING would make that hand less creepy!
The last picture of the severed hand is one of the worst ideas I think I have ever seen. It's right up there with the pregnant and real baby cakes. Thanks for the daily laughter, I love your posts!
that last one is actually pretty good...if your into horror and dismemberment
Those are some short and stubby fingers on the hand cake. You'd have to chop my fingers off at the first knuckle to get those proportions.
No matter how bad my day is going or how tired I may be, your comments to all this stuff makes it that much better. I usually end up laughing out loud at some of the things that you write, my coworkers think I'm crazy. Thanks for being that small amount of joy in my day. It really means a lot to me. :)
Is it just me or are the fingers oddly short on that dismembered hand? And did they drain it of blood like Dexter's brother did to his victims in season 1? That just makes me think that she is dead, not just missing a hand. But then the fingernails would each be painted a different color.
Severed hand accompanied by "Your Day Has Arrived"...
Crikey!
The "alias" cake should be cross-posted over on The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.
Not only is the severed hand fascinatingly horrific but the disproportionally small fingers really added to its pizzazz!
That severed hand is just ridiculously creepy!
wow, that last one is a doozy! thanks for providing me with daily belly laughs that i have to disguise from my coworkers.
Hmm. I thought the chocolate one said "Congratulations OR your engagement..." Which will it be?
that hand is extra creepy!
Ah! The hand is straight from the Addams Family!
And would I be a wreck myself to say I actually liked the cake with the big gem (minus the incorrect spelling and messy handwriting).
Oh, and the quotes around the name were perfect.
fun stuff,
"Kelly"
www.yourbestwedding.blogspot.com
As a shower treat, my mother-in-law, picked up a "royal" ice cream cake. I'd send you the photo, but it was only a wreck to us. The decorator managed to spell both of our names wrong. You'd think as mother-of-the-groom, she'd be able to tell the store what to write.
Oh my gosh! That hand! Is that Thing from The Addams Family??? Creeeepy! And that green mess of misspelled wreckage...sad. just. sad. don't they do some form of screening when they hire bakery workers? And look for things like...oh i don't know...a high school diploma? they should require spelling exams in the application. lame.
First, ACK to that had....then....
I bought a cake wreck for Father's day (on purpose). I shared it on my blog, if you want to check it out. (don't worry I sent them this way!)
http://babystepscottage.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-intentionally-bought-wreck.html
Hey, did anyone tell you? You got URL-checked in the July WIRED (pg 64) alongside http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com which I think is fantastically appropriate. Congrats!
Allison (@whenwill_love)
HILARIOUS!! the "ransom" one was priceless.
With this ring, I'm asking you to become Mrs. Stubbyfingers.
OMG, The 'hand' cake is just so perfectly horrible...I mean it is really, really horrible.
"Your Day Has Arrived"... for what? For a hand transplant? Is that supposed to be the donor hand? Ewwwwwwwww!! What a creepy cake!!!
Oh, my, I may have nightmares about the hand cake. It's really a pity about the pink and green one, though. It's almost a sweet, except for the ridiculous misspelling. I don't mind so much when a grocery store cake with that nearly inedible icing has a misspelling, but a really pretty cake like that just breaks my heart.
I say we hunt down the person who started these CCC's (Pitooey)and storm their house with pitchforks and torches. Okay town, are you with me?
You just know that people were lining up asking for their favorite digit with that severed hand cake.
The CCC ring get even wreckier for me when I start wondering if they really needed that many cupcakes. Who's supposed to eat them all? I suppose this is for a bridal shower, but with The Question it seems like the wannabe groom feels like he needs to stuff cupcakes down his intended fiancee's throat in order for her to say Yes. On second thought, I'd say yes to a man who feels the need to overindulge in cake (although a little more thought into the cake wouldn't hurt ;)).
Mmmm, that strawberry one looks yummo!
The green one looks gross, and the hand is frightening!!!
Becky
That hand will haunt my dreams. (extra creepy since it looks like gauze @ the wrist)
@Carrie,
Whoa girl, ease up on the mother-in-law. You've got her for life now too you know. You're going to have to learn to play nice in that sandbox.
Nothing says "We're so happy for you" like a bloodless, severed hand and an ominous warning. Maybe she's marrying into the Mafia?
The dismembered hobbit hand is too disturbing. "Bobby, would you like a finger or a thumb?"
~Gwen
Nothing says "Congraduations" as well as a corpse-like severed hand atop the cake.
They got that dead look down perfectly, too.
~Amy B.
But... it's green. I know it is spelled wrong. But.... it's green. Ewwww.
omg the dismembered hand! I love how the cuff looks a bit like a gauze wrap and the hand appears to be drained of all it's life. Must have sounded like a much better idea than it turned out to be.
You know, it really is a shame about that second cake with the big gem. I agree that it was actually a very pretty cake until someone ruined it with horrible writing. There is no excuse for that green monstrosity. And the hand cake? (Shivers) It really does look like gauze at the wrist.
I am so happy to say that I've never seen CCCs at any of the bakeries around here. Must be a regional thing.
Do you think they saved the middle finger from the hand cake for someone special, like the mother-in-law to be?
*ducks*
The hand cake reminds me of a fish wrapped in newspaper being sent in "The Godfather" to announce a violent demise of someone...a commentary on marriage perhaps ?
Wonder what the bride-to-be thought of it ? And if she was not amused, what happened to the persons who made ordered and made it ?
Love that last one, but in regards to wanting to say "Engage" at someone aloud...your nerd is showing! But don't worry, you're in good company because you can bet your triquarter that I said "Engage" out loud in a flawless Piccard lilt... and did the point.
Love the site - thanks for the daily laugh!
I especially like the n's on the chocolate explosion cake, written so they look like r's
Congratulations....OR your engagement. YOU ONLY GET ONE, you "fake people"
Jen, when you made the Picard joke, I think I fell in love with you a little bit.
Proposal by cupcake cake? No thanks. I was old fashioned and used the "squish bugs" method. (I started to get down on one knee but had to move positions so as not to go down in the middle of a swarm of ants! ;-) )
I think everyone else has voiced my thoughts on the cakes themselves. I have nothing of value to add on that front.
I have to say, however, that I absolutely loved your closing line. *geeky happy dance*
Creepy!
That last cake is scary! And "vomitable"....
At least they were considerate enough to bandage up the bloody stump!
Just had an incident with a knife and my hand, so the last cake made me jump a bit. And then I began to laugh...how sick is that cake?!
The last cake is WAAAAYYY too creepy! They could have at least made the hand a bit more feminine...? And painted the nails a nice pink or red or something? UGH...
DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/
Did anyone see Cake Boss last night with the crazy bridezilla who ruined a perfectly beautiful cake?? Oh, my heart ached (mostly that someone was marrying such a horrible person).
Why is the "diamond" on the CCC completely iced... But the "ring" cupcakes iced individually? I will never understand the CCC decorator ~Carrie~
The hand cake is particularly disturbing to me. I just couldn't look away (even though I wanted to). I think perhaps it's the perfection of the hand - the nails are juuust right, the bones protrude juuust so off of the hand...
CREEPY!
Keep it up! The amount of wreckage you continually find never ceases to amaze me!
Long time reader, first time commenter,
Kelsey
As a jeweler, I find these especially painful!
Putting aside the ironic note to the cake, that 3rd one looks really good... Mmm...
Did anyone notice that the Hand cake looks like it is plam up but the fingers are plam down? Or is it the lighting in the photo?
Since we're discussing spelling errors, I think the correct spelling for the scream of horror at discovering a severed hand on your engagement cake is "AIIIIIEEEEEEE!" (Capitalization and number of "i"s and "e"s optional.)
It looks like a possessed hand in which the fingers have spun 180 degrees. 'Cause isn't that the palm of the hand underneath?
"Or freaking out the family with something that looks like it should come with a ransom note:" ROFL!
As I recently got engaged, we were thinking about doing a small get together to celebrate with friends, but these cakes have put me off.
Especially the CCC. *Shudder*
Eloping never looked so good...
I am choking back a laugh at "Your day has arrived". It's so thriller-killer action movie-ish! Like something Arnold would say as he holds a bazooka on his shoulder. Daaaang.
And poor Amanda better be marrying into the green after a cake like that. Bleech.
wv - redid. One hopes the wreckorators redid these orders free of charge
The last one is hysterically awful. The severed hand is bad enough but "Your day has come"? Wahahahahahahaha.
my friend's comment when i showed him--
"all I can think about is Tom Lehrer's 'I Hold Your Hand in Mine'"
I'm going to have bad dreams tonight.
HAHA. I heart this blog... I spent hours here the other night laughing and trying not to pee my pants while my husband kept raising eyebrows at me.
I'd agree with everyone about the hand cake, but coming from someone who made herself a "Norman Bates Sinking Marion's Car in the Swamp" cake for her 18th birthday... well, I can't really say anything.
Lol, these are ridiculous.
Wow, that dismembered hand is Something Else. I'm glad my friends aren't that 'creative'. Eesh.
all that hand cake needs to be truly creepy is slightly different lettering. you know, the red dripping blood letters used for horror novel covers?
YOUR....DAY....HAS....COME!!! Mwah ha ha ha!!!
I love that last cake!!! [in a grim reaper voice] "Your day has arrived!"
Hand cake....most.disturbing.ever.
at first, i was just staring in disgust at that hand.
then i thought hey, at least its not a foot.
seriously though...ew.
wow that hand one is pretty creepy. lol
Jenn
HOW DO I DRAWED HANDS?
Did anyone else notice that the hand has the fingers on upside down?
that last one is rather scary, I have to agree. Wow.
alright, it's bad enought that there's a disembodied hand on it, but check out the little note. "your day has arrived" or "your time has come" or "mwahahahaha!"
Ok, the hand one is several many different kinds of creepy. The cupcake one reminds me of the wedding I went to a couple weeks ago. The 'cake' at the ceremony was, I kid you not, several boxes of cupcakes. Not even homemade ones either. Store bought, with price stickers still attached and all.
WV: phalverg (adj); uncomfortable or otherwise awkward.
"Seeing the baked potato bar and cupcake 'cake' at that wedding made me feel very phalverg indeed."
"Your Day Has Arrived"?
Cut-off hand and thinly veiled death threat aside, that's a pretty damn offensive message. Unless maybe you are a gay person who has been waiting for the law to change. Otherwise the sugary subtext is...
Congradulations Miss Desperate! You're plan worked! You're previously meaningless life is now imbued with validatation!
I'd rather get a poo-themed CCC.
Regarding the hend:
It looks like wreckerator reversed the pinky and ring finger. Maybe the ring only fit on the pinky.
It's also classy how they hide the index finger and thumb under the daisy. He/she must have grown tired of marzipan manicures.
@ Emily - No I didn't see the show, just the commercial. But I hope he charged her the FULL amount for the cake she ruined.
@ amo ( amanda) No it's not thing from the Adamms family. It's the... ummm..."girl"...he proposed to. LOL
That hand is creepy. Worse than that football player's head.
Somehow, after seeing the last cake, I have The The's "This is the day" stuck in my head.
Now everyone repeat after me, one word at a time, very slowly, in a low-low tone....
"Your
Day
has
come" *add raspiness here*
Moving on I wonder who decided it would be a good idea to put a glass doorknob on a cake?
your commentary on the hand cake is hilarious!
btw, we celebrated a graduation AND an engagement the other weekend, and tempted as i was to write "congratulations on your graduation and engagement", or "congradulations (misspelled on purpose) on all this new stuff you're doing", we went with "happy engraduation." i thought you might like that.
The alias cake looks tasty! Oooh! I didn't know thing from the Adams Family got married!
anybody see the sienfeld episode about man hands?
It doesn't matter how crappy my day has been, I can always count on Jen to make me laugh tell I need to change my pants! That's why I only read this website at home.
OMG...."engage" does Patrick Stewart say that word in your head every time you read/hear/write/say it too???
I thought I was the only one.
That cake is so funny.
T. aka bigcityguide.blogspot.com
uh, was that second pic one of those crystal doorknobs?
that hand cake will give me nightmares for years to come ... i'm fairly certain my answer would be 'NO' to anyone who would present that cake to me ...
Aaargh, the last one is terrifying!
EEK! This makes me glad I never had an engagement party! Yikes!
http://cakedreamer.blogspot.com
For everyone complaining about the short, stubby fingers on the last cake--I finally found a cake that has hands that look like mine--well, except for the better manicure on the cake. Much better than those spidery things on the pregnant belly awhile back.
Egads, I was sailing through these engagement cakes when that severed hand cake caught me totally off guard (at least they didn't embellish it with a red cuff or anything...)
yeah, that last CW looked like a threat.
And the green "congradulation" cake? graduating, marrying, or celebrating st. patty's day?
Jenzy and Al's cake was kind of pretty 'til the let someone write on it.
WV: pless. Pless pay attention in English class!
HOLY CRAP! THAT LOOKS LIKE MY HAND!
Except my diamond isn't that big.
Still ... *shudder*
What is up with severed body parts on cakes or made to be cakes? I know most of them are executed quite well, but it's still creepy. And this is coming from someone who loves horror movies.
If it wasn't for those quotes, the strawberry cake would be perfect. I'm sure it was still yummy.
The all green cake is gross. It looks like a huge chunk of mold.
OK ladies in the group, what if a man was to propose with that ring CCC-wreck, only to fish out a box from the "gem" with a real beauty? Would anyone be prepared to take a practical joke during a proposal? (I think I'll be beaten to a bloody pulp before I could even try to get the real ring.)
Lynn said...
"The hand cake reminds me of a fish wrapped in newspaper being sent in "The Godfather" to announce a violent demise of someone..."
*******
That's the first thing I thought of, too!
"It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."
Scary~~~~someone could be sleeping in the...BAKERY...tonight~~~
=^()()^=
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As for the "ransom note" thing:
Look on the "bright" side; the groom-to-be has time to think it over--(after all, she's only going to lose the other hand)--and he's already got the ring back, which he could always sell if need be.
I don't know. When it comes to proposals and weddings, many people seem to be all about repulsive displays of spending, contrived protocol, and unrealistic expectations. Honestly if it was Mr. Right (no, not the idiotic fantasy-romance novel Mr. Right - but a real man with real character), I'd accept a proposal spelled out in cheetos and a wedding in the backyard. It's not about impressing people for me. It's about landing the man of one's dreams. The celebration and "pretties" are always fun, but I wouldn't turn down a chance at happiness if I didn't get that.
Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs! I've really needed it, especially after the past 2 weeks that I've had!
LMAO! That was the funniest thing i have heard all day! (and i have the biggest drama queen EVER as a 4 year old daughter...my day is hilairious!)
Holy Moly that hand...i'm still giggling!
That gree thing is hidious, makes me really wonder what the instructions on that one were...
Cake number three: "Congratulations OR your engagement"? Do they have to make a choice between the two?
The last one is very scary. Very very scary.
Does anyone remember the movie called The Thing?...anyway the severed hand is gastly along with the rest of the cakes. Har Har Har
My 4-yr-old saw this and screamed "AAaaaaaaaaa! What's that?!"
The hand cake has to be the worst (best?) passive-aggressive wedding proposal i've ever seen.
I am pretty sure I would have said no if my Fiance asked me with a cake, especially the ones above. But I have to say, the hand is amazing. So hilarious.
That last one made me die laughing. It reminds me of a cleaned up hand from Reanimator.
And the text doesn't seem in the slightest bit like a celebration!
"Your Time Has Come" almost like saying "Marriage is like the mafia... You never know which limb you'll lose..."
does jenny and al's cake have two sets of quote marks together after the congradulations? like the wreckerator knew it was wrong to put them around the word, but had to put them somewhere
did anyone else notice that the fingers on that hand look like they're on back wards? the hand looks palm up, but you see the front of the fingers. so wrong on so many levels.
Sending the clowns,
Nice to know there's a kindred spirit out there who thinks the way I do and reads every single comment...we just can't help it...they are as funny as Jen's Wreck posts !
All I can think of upon seeing the disembodied hand is "SHE HAS MAN HANDS!"
WV: sycli. The man hand on that cake was sycli mesmerizing.
Make it so!
"Gradulation" immediately followed by that terrifying pallid severed claw made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself!
We're getting engaged soon and now I really want to request an On Purpose Wreck to celebrate.
Lynn said...
"Sending the clowns,
Nice to know there's a kindred spirit out there who thinks the way I do and reads every single comment...we just can't help it..."
********************
Yeah--that's it! We can't help it!
Now, if only MORE people were like us, we might have all avoided that train wreck of a thing concerning a certain tourist trap in, oh, say...Florida? (Starts with an "E," but don't make me say it!) heh heh
>^~-^<
This blog is highly addictive, and should come with a warning!
(I wouldn't pay any mind to the warning myself, but I'm just saying...!)
Loved the Star Trek reference, Captain! :)
amazing.
I laugh whenever I think about that hand cake, In my opinion it would be best for an invitation to see a horror movie.
Jen, I love your blog. I do. But since you spend so much time making fun of spelling errors... "fiance" should be changed to "fiancee," since it refers to the bride-to-be.
Pretentious accent mark optional.
The severed hand has extremely pudgy fingers!
Hey lol I LOVE this site lol.. anyways.. I worked at Weis markets and we get books with cupcake designs in it that we are required to make.. in the decorators defense.. that ring cupcake cake is in the book of stuff we are supposed to make for the shelves lol... and the hand is creepy lol. Well made but disturbing!
-Shay Neary (Senior at Keystone College in Pastry Arts. PA.
That is a MAN HAND! ROFL! :D
These seem to be more in the line of disengagement cakes -- especially the last -- but anyway...
#2 & 4: I suppose a prom would be a 'way cool' venue for a proposal -- by the time graduation rolls around, the groom-to-be will have finally have acquired the courage to tell his mother, thus the combined theme.
Alternate explanation: Women who appear to be in college for no obvious reason other than meeting men are sometimes spoken of as seeking an 'MRS' degree.
#5 He asked for 'her' hand; he got it, reversed fingers and all. Reminds me of the famous question: "What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?"
How can 'she' pick up anything? Must...purge...mental...image...
Or maybe 'she' is already engaged and the cake was sent by 'her' orthopedic surgeon. Though one would think it should show what 'her' hand will hopefully look like after the operation.
I love your blog. I was laughing out loud specially with the hand cake... Maybe from the Sopranos? My 3 years old thought I was "funny" Thanks!
Adriana
Severed hand...very creepy. Its just not right x