Friday, June 5, 2009

And Now, MORE Weird Wedding Cakes

Friday, June 5, 2009

Aw, you know you love it.

Monica G. thinks this cake from the Wilton website looks like it's covered with rocks. I, however, say it looks like a pottery project. Covered in rocks.

And here we have...

A fish tank.

In a wedding cake.

That is all.

(Thanks, Phyllis L.)

If that isn't fishy enough for you, though, there's always this option:

(Look closely.) I am amazed, Karin. Completely freaked out, but amazed.

(UPDATE: Nope, these aren't Koi fish. Or imitation crab meat. For a close-up and explanation, go here.)

Laura M. tells me this next one is a "new take on a croquembouche gone awry". Now, I have no idea what a "croquembouche" is, but from looking at the photo...

I'm going to guess it's French for "albino booby tower".

And lastly, let's take a "peep" at Courtney S.'s find:



Hm. Now why does this topper remind me of the final scene in Beetlejuice?


«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 281   Newer›   Newest»
Real Food, Real World said...

One can only hope that the fish in the tank weren't able to see the cake underneath.

I was already trembling a little because of that third cup of coffee this morning. Now I'm actually shaking. Yikes.

snarkygurl said...

A croquembouche is a French wedding cake. It's a pretty much just a tower of creme puffs, which can be good or bad (I've had both kinds).

The Cat's Pajama said...

What is the cake that looks like bleeding fish??? I am a bit disturbed.

stevendeah said...

OMGoodness...these were too weird...and funny! That chocolate cake looks like something my chocoholic d'ter would choose, though... and I would actually politely decline a piece of wedding cake (never happens) if it involved either of those fish cakes (esp after cleaning out a goldfish tank for a few months)... but I almost spit on my screen when I saw your comment on the albino cake PHAHAHA!!!...and I'll have to admit, while a little strange, that peeps cake IS creative.
TFS...I love to laugh! =)

Melanie said...

My three year old (who loves this site) said, "WOAH! Why is there a cake with ROCKS on it?!"

Catmania said...

"albino boobie tower" - ROFLMAO. The peeps cake is just too bizarre for words, and it DOES look like the beetlejuice scene. What the heck is on the third one from the end, harpooned fish is my guess?? At any rate, you have one again made my morning :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, um, not such whether today's or yesterday's are weirder, but "albino booby tower" is the funniest line from your commentary on both sets.

Seriously, a fish tank? Or peeps? I'd almost rather have the polygamous topper than either of those.

Word verification: bicri - The bride and baker were bicring over whether or not the cake was exactly what she had in mind when she said "croquembouche."

John Armstrong said...

A croquembouche is basically a towering pile of separate profiteroles (cream puffs) that guests can pick off and eat individually.

bttrflybabydoll said...

Are those dead dolphins? I just can't figure it out.

And, you said booby! LOL

Melinda said...

The creepy dead fish cake is messed up.

Sully said...

Fish tank in the cake...that is so nasty. ::Shivers::

evilsciencechick said...

gaaaah! is that cake covered in koi, or used tampons???

so very wrong...

Jennifer said...

I hope the dead bloody fish cake was just an experiment in a pastry class, or an art project or something... If there's really someone on this Earth who had that as their wedding cake, I'm moving to Mars.

Michelle said...

I've been reading Cake Wrecks for a while now but today is the very first time I've been rendered completely speechless. Bleeding shark cake? I can't even beging to imagine the situation where someone would actually make/want/create such a thing.

Wow.

Anonymous said...

Croquembouche- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croquembouche

LOVE the peeps cake...awesome.

Anonymous said...

I need an some explanation for the third cake. My mind is going to a gross place with that one.

Leslie Jackson said...

I love the "Peeps" cake! I'm a little worried about the fact that the heads were removed to be replaced with "Peeps"!!!

Shelley said...

What the heck is that red and white one?

utaduta said...

i think the peeps cake is awesome! i hope they are stale, thats when peeps are the best! :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, just wow.

The first one I expect to see water trickling down from, does it not look like a fountain?!?

I don't think I could eat anything that had been assembled around a fish tank.

Are those Coy fish? Seriously? They look like you could peel them off and eat them one by one, which is just weird.

I have a strong love for some Peeps. I also love cake. Put the two together, and this girl is in heaven!

Becky

wv: wharcar - something I expect to be made into a wreck someday.

Promise said...

The chocolate cake: the "rocks" are chocolate truffles. Mmmmmm.

The dead fish cake: Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot.

You'd love croquembouche, Jen. It's sort of the traditional French wedding cake. It is basically a big pile of profiteroles (cream puffs) with caramel syrup gluing the whole thing together. Wikipedia actually has a couple good photos of properly made croquembouches: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croquembouche

Jeremy said...

Albino Boobie Tower. Great indie band name, for sure.

Stephanie said...

I don't even know what to say.

Megan C said...

Croquembouche is a dough cake that originated from France. I learned that from The Weekenders!

Special Sauce said...

Fish! Why!?! In a tank or covering your CAKE? WHY??! WHY??! That's all I can ask, for the speech/language centers of my brain just exploded.

JoMama said...

Are those DEAD FISH on that cake?!?! Who has a cake like that and how did they come up with the idea?? Freddy Kruger?!Wow, that is just bizarre.

I think that first cake looks like a pottery project that someone pooped on (sorry for that image)

Marcelle said...

I think I've seen a picture of porpoises being slaughtered that looked like the third cake. I really hope that's not the inspiration... I wouldn't be able to eat any of that cake!

Although, to my shame, the peep cake looks tasty, even if the topper is a bit creepy.

Missy Ann said...

#3 Appears to be covered in used tampons. *ewwwww*

Viewtiful_Justin said...

I had an extreme guttural reaction to that last one. Peeps are SO GROSS!! I can't believe they
d ruin a perfectly good cake by covering it in that demon spawn candy.

Cynthia said...

Oh dear, those cakes are sure special :P

And for educational purposes:

A croquembouche or croquenbouche is a French dessert, a kind of pièce montée often served at weddings. It is a high cone of profiteroles (choux filled with pastry cream) bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared almonds, chocolate, flowers, or ribbons.

The name comes from the French words 'Croque en bouche' meaning 'crunch in the mouth'.

The choux buns can also be made with savoury fillings.

Seth said...

If I'm not mistaken, a croquembouche is one of those towers of creme puffs. Like a giant stack of Ferrero Rocher candies. I believe they're dipped in a sugar glaze and stuck together. Or at least that's how I think they're made. If not, hours of watching the Food network as taught me nothing!

Loyal reader and frequent LOL'er, and spreader of the hilarity,

Seth W.

Kim said...

It's actually Croque-en-bouche and it's a tower of cream puffs.

http://images.google.com/images?q=croque+en+bouche

Cassykins said...

Ok I'll admit it, I kind of like the fish tank one. Shoot me now, but I love fish. However the tower of koi is not my cup of tea. At first I thought it was a jacked up tower of twisted candy canes.

Belle Ecrivaine said...

To me, the dead fish cake looks more like someone had a terribly bloody nose and too many boxes of tampons to stopper the bleeding.

Anonymous said...

White bleeding fish!!? What does it MEAN??? You have to find the explanation for us, for mercy's sake, Please.
Thank you

Anonymous said...

I can't stop looking at the peep cake topper...that's just hilarious.

#3 looks like a pile of severed thumbs. I keep trying to get closer to the screen to figure out what they're supposed to be, but I'm just baffled.

KatieHen said...

the last one is definitely my favorite! I laughed outloud! Also, what the heck is that on that French cake? That looks disgusting!

Christa said...

are you kidding me...PEEPS?! UGH!

Suzann said...

I just posted a link to the Peeps group at Ravelry. Love the cake and hope they are stale, mmmmmm

Anonymous said...

Those are macaroons, so it really isn't a croquembouche...

Anonymous said...

Croquembouche is delicious! It was my wedding cake. One of our guests complimented us later, telling us that he loved the "Timbit cake" (for non-Canadians, Timbits are Tim Hortons' donut holes).

I wonder if those Koi fish are gummi candy? There's not much that would make me decline a slice of cake, but the fish would do it.

Angie said...

The dead animal (seals? sharks? fish?) is beyond disturbing. I'm afraid I'd vomit on that cake - but would that make it look better, or worse?

wv - calatcho. That cake does kind of calatcho, saying, "Come! Let me gross you out!!"

Alina said...

I LOVE Peeps! creep wedding topper though. I would have just put a couple of bunny peeps on the top as bride and groom

Alina said...

I think the Koi one is creepy but cool too!

knitwit said...

Prediction: Tonight I will have a nighmare in which giant Peeps go around decapitating people and using their bodies for world domination. Thank you for that...

Anonymous said...

The "bleeding fish" cake is imitation crab meat, styled in a cake but for a station appetizer table

Lis said...

Ok the horriffic Bleeding Fish Cake looks to me like Sharks (Dolphins?) that have had their dorsal fin cut off... which is leading to the blood... I'm not a fan of sharks really, but this freaks me right out!

Christianne said...

Hi Jen!
Always entertaining to browse Cake Wrecks.

A Croque-en-bouche is a French pastry desert that consists of puffed pastry balls filled with cream (cream puffs), mounted into a tower and wrapped in sugar/honey strands. It a is great show-piece and I believe is popular for weddings.

digbugsgirl said...

I think # 3 is supposed to be koi fish. Some people are obsessed with those things (my mother's husband is one.) It wouldn't surprise me if he asks to have a koi fish buried with him.

Haiku Joy said...

Promise hit the nail on the head.


"I dunno. It needs
More whiskey-tango-foxtrot.
Where's the dead pet store?"

Jessi said...

The first one looks yummy. Ugly as sin, but yummy. Dead fish, do not look yummy. Also, I feel compelled to stand next to the fish tank one to catch it.

It's what the youngsters are doing these days said...

What does it say about the prospects of the bride and groom if their cake consists of a pile of bloody shark corpses. Although it is interesting to read the different interpretations of the cake in the comments. It's like a gross, edible, if not somewhat indigestible, Rorschach test.

jen renee said...

glad i'm not the only one who thought that was a tampon cake.

Dawnspring said...

Changing the topper would make the Peeps cake go from being a Wreck to a Sweet. I love the idea and the overall look of the cake, just the topper is too bizzaro for me.

Would have been better if they'd had two Peeps chicks, one with a veil and the other with a bow tie.

the Koi cake is...interesting. Very well done! But...yeeeeeesh!

I think I may be the only one who likes the chocolate truffle(rocks) cake. But that's cause I'm a serious chocoholic. :)

Lizard said...

Fish tank cake is soooo gross.

We have an albino booby tower and an albino slaughtered shark tower... great combination!

Also I LOVE peeps.. but that cake is total Beetlejuice.

wv:dentiosp:The kind of specialist you have to see after eating something that looks like poo-ed rocks on a pottery project.

Anonymous said...

re # 3, I saw twisted candy canes at first too. Then it morphed into second-hand feminine hygiene products. Yuckeroonie!!

Ali Mae said...

I love how the bridal veil is like one giant fish net. Awesome.

foobella said...

We really need an explanation for#3. Really.

Vashti said...

I kinda love the Koi fish one! I know weird. And Jen........"ALBINO BOOBY TOWER"!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

I have spent the day puking my guts up and just as i was feeling a bit better along you come and make me laugh so hard I have to go back to the bathroom!
YOU ARE A STAR!
Please make an "Albino booby tower" tshirt!

Brava97 said...

I'm totally on board with the Peeps cake. We love our Peeps in Seattle -- every year, the Seattle Times holds a contest seeking the most creative tableaux using Peeps. Just google Seattle Times Peeps and view the slideshows. Amazing.

Molly said...

I agree with those who've said the third cake is intended to be covered in live Koi, not dead fish. (Koi are often white with red, round markings). However, having THAT many Koi all crammed together in a very small space still sort of makes it seem vastly implausible that said fish could be alive...

Atlantys said...

Yes, I'm sure they're meant to koi, or Japanese Coloured Carp, too (but the red, blood-like airbrushing seeping onto the cake board is really very unfortunate). If they are koi, they're Tancho Kohaku, a variety that are white with one round red spot on the head. They're a particular favourite of collectors and the Japanese in general, because they're said to resemble the Japanese flag.

Andy said...

That second fish cake looks like what you'd get if an old lady had a candy bowl shaped like an inverted wedding cake and you went and took out the ribbon candy that had been in there for 10 years.

duncnjacksmom said...

Not only are these cakes horrid and disturbing, did anyone else notice that the fish tank cake was leaning? Sure hope it didn't fall over!

foobella said...

If I'm repeating something that's already been said a million times, forgive me, for the comments up to this point don't mention this:

www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400938580/

'3 ft tall. Made to be displayed as part of an awareness campaign depicting the cruelty of the brutal killings of sharks to make sharks fin soup usually served at Chinese weddings"

Tlou said...

they look like koi fish

Anonymous said...

That third one -- imitation crab cake?

And a nice finish with the Peepheads!

Justin T.

Julie said...

"Albino booby tower" almost made my coffee come out of my nose!

That koi fish thing is just nasty, but it is a nice touch that some of the red blotches are heart-shaped. How romantic.

Anonymous said...

A Peep cake would be awesome...but only if the Peeps are properly stale! ("fresh" Peeps [shudder])

The cake topper is oddly cute...the happy couple and their peeps!

Mary said...

What the...? Does that one cake have a bunch of dead whales on it???

Laura said...

I have to say that a secretly love the peep cake. We were fond of peep-based art projects growing up. I seem to recall a mobile called "Peep Show"....

But the fish cakes freak me out to no end. I hate hate HATE fish, and I would have to refuse cake (which is a sin in my family).

And I agree about the fish cake, I SO thought it was used tampons. GROSS.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

ok...i could deal with the first few cakes, but that peeps cake is going to give me freaking NIGHTMARES!!!

Aurora said...

How sad is it that, of the options available, I *want* to believe that wedding cake is just koi? Because my first instinct said speared shark. (I mean, look! They have little stabby marks and everything!)

D-:

Kisa said...

I think the first, while strange looks really good..
are the balls of chocolate Ferror Rocher?! If so.. YUM!
A Croquembouche was already described, however that one looks like they dipped them in white chocolate or vanilla and gave them a "vampire tit" appearance ...
which is just wrong.

The fish tank, is actually rather neat.. though it is leaning or just a horrid picture? the one that looks like it's bleeding fish is terrible..
My father would have probably LOVED the peep one.. freaky deak that he is :P

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Poop Mountain, man.

Yota Armai said...

The 3rd to last cake is just wrong. I really wish I could unsee it. Why anyone would want a stack of gutted fish (Beluga whales?) for their wedding cake is so far beyond me that I can only assume that they were trying to make some sort of eco-friendly political commentary in cake.

Like the vegans who give you flyers on the mistreatment of chicken while trying to convert you.

**No whales were harmed in the construction of this comment.**

WV: props - Mad props to Jen for another amazing post!

PS - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is my favorite code for WTF! I thought I was the only one who knew it.

Andrea said...

That bleeding fish cake is truly, truly disturbing. I may have nightmares. That pastry chef (and I use the term loosely) should be arrested, put away, and forbidden to ever bake again!

grimperspective said...

I'm sure I will be wondering all day and late, late into the night as to what kind of couple feels the best portrayal of them is standing atop a cake of dead fish. yep....And now I'm wondering about their registry.

Wendy said...

Why I love this site:
Cake #3. I thought it was candy canes...I'm hoping it is candy canes. It scares me.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot? My new favorite phrase.

There's a PEEPS group on Ravelry? I'm joining now!

RiηηαЯαiηb๏wlici๏us™ :] (aka KelseyKeltastic. :]) said...

W.T.F.
(W standing for WHY.)

April said...

I wish my wedding cake had been a giant tower of bloody bandages. Maybe the happy couple met in the ER?

Cakedreamer said...

I definitely think the "fish" one looks like bloody tampons. EWWWWWWWWW. Who would want to eat that cake! Ack.

-Cakedreamer
http://cakedreamer.blogspot.com

kateohkatie said...

Uhh...whales giving birth?

tiggergirl0325 said...

Ok, I HAD to figure out what the dead fish one was and found this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400938580/

"3 ft tall. Made to be displayed as part of an awareness campaign depicting the cruelty of the brutal killings of sharks to make sharks fin soup usually served at Chinese weddings."

This strangely makes me feel better than the thought of a bride saying "you know what would be awesome for our cake?! DEAD SHARKS!!"

Alli said...

I was thinking exactly the same thing...the Beetlejuice couple! The bleeding fish one is just absolutely disgusting and weird.

Gina said...

Yes to Beetlejuice! (Thought that before I ever scrolled down!)

And thanks for trying to get me into trouble! I had to cleverly disguise my fit of laughter over "albino booby cake" (can't even type it without giggling) as a choking/coughing fit. I annoyed the whole office! Why didn't you mark this "Not safe for work"?

Love it!

Dawn said...

The first 3 cakes are really cool! I mean, the first cake does look like pottery filled with dirt, but I have a feeling that it is delicious!

And the fish tank is super cool. Too bad its not level! And can you imagine the amount of work that went into that tower of fish? Impressive.

The other two, however, are... woah. The peeps scare the heck out of me.

vix said...

WOW! and I thot the armada was bad yesterday. (I still can't figure out how they made all those arms stay in that postition)

Are those dis-embowed (sp?) fish? EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW!

BB said...

Why does that first cake immediately remind me of the South Park song from Chef about his chocolate salty balls?

Twistie said...

It's funny. The others are all far worse, but I know it's the Peeps cake that will haunt my nightmares tonight.

Also? Albino booby tower is the best description ever.

Philamaz said...

See, I'm thinking that the "koi" cake is actually clubbed baby seals. Maybe this was for some sort of crazy PETA event? They do weird shock-value stuff like that...

Rebecca Welch said...

*shakes head*
The peep cake...too much!

Anonymous said...

That doesn't look like bloody fish, it looks like Manatees that came a little too close to a boat's prop.

Wow. I'd love to hear the back story on that one.

Anonymous said...

I am really, really glad I wasn't the only person to see tampons in that dead fish cake.

"Would you like another piece?" "No thanks, I've still got the string stuck in my teeth from the last bit..."

By comparison, bizarre dead fish are positively lovely.

Tuxedo Elf said...

There's a fish tank. In a cake. A fish tank, in a cake.

I have seen it ALL now.

O.o

Signed, a very confused fishkeeper.

La Beq said...

I think the fish tank cake is kind of cool...

Anonymous said...

I'm actually kinda sad that someone who runs a cake blog didn't know what a croquembouche was. :/

Heather said...

My 2 year old agrees with Monica G. He saw rocks.

I imagine it as a pure chocolate and truffle 'cake' and it looks delicious!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

Wow. Something looks...fishy.

(seriously, the fish tank is listing dangerously, and the goldfish/koi cake creeps me out)

Peeps!cake--Oh good grief.

Croquembouche!cake reminds me of someone unwrapping a bunch of white Rocher and sticking them onto a cake. Which isn't a bad idea taste wise but it looks kind of odd. Same with the pottery cake, though it looks so wonderfully chocolatey.

Creativity is one thing. These are...entirely something else. 0_o

lifeshighway said...

You had me at: "albino booby tower". Diet Coke up the nose.

shine said...

Why is there a cake made to look like intestines? White...bloody...intestines?

Also, that peep cake totally FREAKED ME OUT.

Anna said...

Okay, I'm sorry. I really am. But the white and red cake looks like a giant heap of bloody tampons.

TA said...

I think the dead fish cake must have something to do with shark fin soup - a very expensive Asian delicacy. To make it, sharks are caught, their fins are hacked off, and they are thrown back into the ocean to die. It's barbaric.

Maybe that cake is an obscure way of wishing the bride and groom wealth and affluence. ick.

...or maybe it's a social commentary about wastefulness and hedonism. After all, the comment, "let them eat cake," was uttered by someone who "gargles with shark fin soup." (as they say in Hong Kong)

Either way, it's dreadful.

KritterBugg said...

Albino booby tower! OMG!!!I can't stand it! SO FUNNY!!! And the "Peeps" people, totally creepy!!! I have to say the fish cake was pretty creepy too, it looked like a bunch of gutted fish... They should have picked a different color for that at least!

DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/

Kelly said...

"Albino booby tower". I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. Oh you bring joy to my life!!

sharalyns said...

Those "rocks" are chocolate covered espresso beans, I believe. My husband has 3 giant bags of them from Costco...

Joellyn said...

That chocolate one is ugly, but it DOES make me want some chocolate

silly philly said...

I'm actually kinda sad that someone who runs a cake blog didn't know what a croquembouche was. :/

Unless it's routinely iced and decorated, it generally wouldn't show up on this non-French blog, so it doesn't make me sad. I AM sad that what look to be delicious (albeit boobie-shaped) meringues aren't availabe in the lunch-room vending machines here. Meringue or cream-filled-choux, I'd eat it.

Amy said...

The fish tank cake is odd, but the bleeding sperm (or whatever??) is gross.

I like the pottery cake.
~Amy B.

silly philly said...

*gah!* Left out...

The croquembouche-gone-wrong looks, upon closer inspection, as if it could be made of white-(not!)chocolate-dipped Mallomars.

That is all...for real this time :)

Anonymous said...

I'm assuming the couple who requested the third cake really love shark fin soup??

Ariel said...

A croquembouche or croquenbouche is a French dessert, a kind of pièce montée often served at weddings. It is a high cone of profiteroles (choux filled with pastry cream) bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared almonds, chocolate, flowers, or ribbons.

The name comes from the French words 'Croque en bouche' meaning 'crunch in the mouth'.

The choux buns can also be made with savoury fillings.

Alternative spellings include croquenbouche and croquebouche.

Christina said...

I think my WV says it all: terroar, as in: I am terroarized by the dead fish cake.

Skye said...

Thank you, these are MUCH wreckier than yesterday's!!!

The fish tank... the bloodied, unidentifiable fishy bodies (or tampons)... the PEEP HEADS?!?!?

You have made my day.

SimsKatie said...

The big pile of stabbed-dead fish is a little much...

Cboldwoman said...

The top one is obviously covered in malted milk balls. ...mmmm...malted milk balls....

one-eared pig said...

I LOVE the Peeps!

tinimaus said...

That red-and-white one looks like it's made of knotted-up bloody bandages. Ew.

Sander said...

Eww. Who would want a tower pile of what looks like bloody gauze squares? Is the bride a school nurse where skinned and bloodied knees rum rampant?

crissy said...

Um...Is that a tower of bloody tampons?!

J said...

the dead fish/dolphin cake is super creepy. I'd sure love to know the backstory on that one.

Ericrazy said...

what the..?! bloody tissues? used tampons? severed fingers wrapped in gauze? what are those things?!?! ... better question... do i want to know? o.0

madrobins said...

Okay, that first cake looks like a pottery project liberally sprinkled with Krispy Kreme donut holes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And the tower of dead fish? What can one say but Eeew?

But I love the last one. I mean, it's a cake for the bride, the groom, and all their peeps.

learp17 said...

We had a croquembouche cake for a family dinner on our wedding weekend and it totally rocked. You are right on about the albino booby tower though. That one is freaky looking!

The pile of fish is absolutely bizarre.

Sandy said...

Am I the only one that kind of likes the chocolate rock one? Perhaps I am just imagining the taste. Mmmm...chocolate rocks.

On another, more grotesque note, is that supposed to be used tampons on the white/red cake????? Not even chocolate could have helped that.

Anonymous said...

The shark-fin cake is amazing... particularly the close-up. http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400939386/in/photostream/

Of all of them, it's the least absurd, but the most horrific-looking. At least it's for a cause. I'd rather have it than a listing fish tank!

smiles :) said...

creepy, creepy creepy! ugh, especially the peep-headed bride and groom? I lay that blame at the happy couple's doorstep, that was a very specific request! :( *shudder*

Julie said...

French for "albino booby tower" - classic!

I have to agree with those who thought the chocolate rock cake looked kinda good. Maybe it's my diet speaking for me though...

Callahan said...

Wilton cake looks like edible chocolate bowls filled with delicious truffles. I would help eat that cake.

Miranda said...

The peep thing is hella creepy. As for the dead gutted fish? *shudders* oh my god. I have a phobia. I am afraid of fish. I would have run screaming from the reception hall. Also, it's in rather poor taste!

The croquembouche thing is ok to me provided that it tastes good.

Bree said...

The first cake isn't that bad despite it looking like something somebody pooped all over; it would go over well in my family.

The bloody tampon fish cake is disgusting. At first I thought it was peppermint icing mixed with red food coloring frosted and woven together, then I saw the fish shapes. Some couples really go too far in making a statement. You can express yourself without grossing your guests out.

I can't get behind the Peeps cake...I hate those things.

Lisa said...

Those are - ? Those are sh - THOSE ARE SHARKS?? "A tower of albino boobies?" Peep heads?? I can't go on.

This is maybe my mostest favoritest entry EVER.

flamegoddess65 said...

yaaaah you're better than me. i saw the wilton cake and thought "yup. poop." mhm. mature, i am not.

leftyposters said...

I'm disappointed in myself. I have a morbid, and dirty mind that I pride myself in, yet I didn't see anything but Koi fish in the third cake. It makes me sad that I couldn't see a gaggle of horrible things in that cake.

I guess it just shows the level of depravity you need to see these things! I'm outdone!

WV - "Chomm" I'd totally chomm that chocolate cake if offered a slice.

Alix said...

albino boobie tower OMG!

Anonymous said...

WHAT is the third cake?? What are those? I'm dying to know!!

Christina said...

#3 is covered in Koi people! It's a type f fish, not bloody dolphins or tampons.

The peeps one is creepin me out!

Kathy McC said...

Yes, I am glad I am not the only one who thought the third cake was bloody tampons. Or severed fingers.

Ian said...

Sure that was a Jonathan Adler Booby Cake

Rufus Opus said...

Regarding the last cake...

WHATUP, PEEPS!

Vinessa said...

YIKES! Add me to the list of folks who immediately thought "bloody tampons" after seeing that cake.

That rock cake does look yummy, though.

Jessica said...

Ewwww I cant stand peeps. That cake looks downright nasty! I thought the dead fish one was bad, but now Im not sure which is worse...

Suzanne Dargie said...

I love fish and at one time owned 5 fish tanks....although one held hermit crabs.....anyway, I can see someone possibly incorporating a little fish tank into their wedding cake. But as another person put it, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot indeed about the DEAD fish cake! At first I thought they were Koi and I thought, "Oh how cute.." then I realized they'd been gutted or something! That's just horrible.
The wedding guests of all the other cakes in this post must have been rushed to the hospital afterwards in hyperglycemic shock!

Niki said...

can i venture a guess that the dead whale cake is for someone who really really really wishes their name was captain ahab?

Anonymous said...

I have actually made the Wilton truffle tower for a bridal show before and it went over really well- everyone loved it. Of course, I scaled down considerably on the truffles...

I'm really lovin' these wrecks! I think yesterday's was great though- everytime I think of "chucknuts" I can't keep myself from giggling. I first seen it at work and almost snorted. Luckily I held it together and didn't get any weird looks ;)


Samantha

Passion Fruit said...

Those really supposed to be dead fish?

I am so disturbed. I thought they were tampons at first to be honest.

Dead, bleeding fish is much more disturbing.

WV: djoulawe -- hopefully the name of the DJ at my wedding!

Sharon said...

I wonder how long it took for the cake layer beneath the fish tank to collapse under the weight. It's already leaning dangerously in the photo.
They shoulda gone with gummi fish in a jello aquarium instead of the real thing.

husky mom said...

The local French bakery makes croquembouche cakes for weddings, but I've never seen an "albino". http://www.jeanmarcchatellier.com/croquembouche.html

Muum said...

so.. funny. and validates my anti - sea-food stance.

Amy said...

Love the Peep cake - wish I could do my own wedding over again so I could have one of those bad boys!

Oh and why is that one cake covered in bloody punctured lower intestines?

Angie said...

To me the first one looks like a chocolate cake covered with chocolate truffles. Considering your comments, I'll assume I'm welcome to grab your share. Yum! :D

Angie

Gladys said...

See, I actually read all the comments before I post, so I am absolutely TWITCHING to be the first one to mention: "croquenbouche"= 3-dimensional French version of a CCC! (Except without the ghastly lashings of unnecessary frosting.)

The shark-fin-protest cake...Now, I'm all for protest. Hell, I spend a good portion of my life protesting, except for some reason people refer to it as "there goes Gladys, bitching again". But picking your wedding day to protest, and using your wedding cake as an instrument of that protest, is only cool if the outrage you're protesting is something that's actually cake-adaptable--say, white cake vs. yellow, or artificial vanilla vs. vanilla extract. Any protest that involves dead animals, blood, decay, mold, or the use of cupcakes, should be shunned forever as being beneath the natural dignity of cake. And that goes double for dead sharks that look like used Tampax.

The Peeps cake...count me into the "ah, bliss!" crew, although I could live without the decapitated bride and groom Peep-topper. Peeps as a whole, however, are delicious, satisfying, and suitable for use as an art-form, as well--as the fine folks at the Chicago Tribune understand:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/chi-peeps-poll,0,3294378.poll

Kimberly said...

Okay - so if they were Koi, wouldn't there be more than a single red "slash" on at least one of them? Can you imagine the wedding photos? And what if the reception was held in the same hotel with an adjoining wedding with the fish tank cake - that would be an outstanding Bridezilla episode!

and yeah for peeps!

Karen said...

Is that koi?? It looks like bloody fingers.

And, yeah, I'm a little in love with that peeps cake.

bin said...

Thank you to those who have posted an explanation for the dead shark cake. I found it to be extremely disturbing (after my initial impression that it was fake crab meat shaped into a cake), and I was hoping it wasn't what I thought I was seeing.
Well, now I know it IS, but there is an explanation.
Although I don't see how making it into a wedding cake makes sense?
Or is Shark Fin Soup a popular wedding dish in China?

Kiley said...

#3 cake explained here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400938580/

RememberMe said...

This peep cake is way less scary. Dress the peep, don't just stick it on a body. That's the key. Now you know.

http://jeri10-2009blogs.blogspot.com/2009/04/make-your-own-wedding-cake.html

RememberMe said...

Even better:

http://www.peephut.org/images/BrideGroom.jpeg

I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I'd be googling "wedding peeps"

Marji said...

Oh good heck, "albino boobie tower." I can't think of three words that could be any funnier when combined than albino, boobie and tower.

You scored big with that one. I'm keeping track.

Amanda said...

The koi cake is so not cool. At first glance it looks like a tampon cake. Used. At that wedding, not only would I decline a piece of cake, but I don't think I would eat the meal either. In fact I don't think I would be able to eat for a while after seeing that...

RememberMe said...

This one's the best:
http://www.lifeofacupcake.com/2008/03/peeps-wedding-cake/

And, to go with the smoking lamb cake:
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y47/jennypower/peep10.jpg

Sue said...

Ok, if you look at the next photo in the link to the shark cake (http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400939386/in/photostream/) you can see that these ARE sharks with their fins cut off, NOT koi, NOT bloody tampons or anything else weird.

I also get the impression that this wasn't someone's actual wedding cake, but a protest piece to get people to stop serving shark fin soup at weddings.

Glory von Hathor said...

Wow. Who knew that the modern artist Dave Falconer (creator of Vermin Death Stack, 1998 and Vermin Death Star, 2000-2002) had gone into making cake sculptures of tiny dead carp?

Aunt of 14 said...

I want to buy the Peeps cake. My mom is a fanatic about peeps, and this would be the perfect birthday cake for her!!!! Maybe I'll make one....

Jenn said...

"I also get the impression that this wasn't someone's actual wedding cake, but a protest piece to get people to stop serving shark fin soup at weddings."

Well, yeah, but why put a bride and groom on top of the cake then if it isn't a wedding cake?

Annie said...

I hate to ask this . . . but is that a cake made to look like used tampons? Is that the reason for the "fishy" pun? Or is it dead fish? I am at a loss.

Anonymous said...

That fish tank cake is listing to the starboard a bit.....

Jenny said...

Ohhh my gosh. Officially scarred for LIFE! Really, who says "Hmmm...what to put on the wedding cake. I KNOW!! DEAD FISH!"

woofless said...

Sorry. I looked closely. I don't see sharks, porpoises, koi, or even guppies.

I see tampons. Used tampons, from a "light flow" day.

That's disgusting. Now, the chocolate cake on the other hand? Even if they WERE rocks, I'd eat the cake & lick the chocolate off. As it is, I think they look more like chocolate donut holes. Yummm :)

Erin said...

I, too, thought that the dead fish were used tampons at first. Yummy.

Shelley said...

Here's a plug for your book. http://savershelley.blogspot.com/2009/06/book-deals.html

Heather said...

Seriously, what is up with the dead dolphins? And the fish tank? WHY?
I just voted for your blog at the Blog Luxe awards.. good luck!!

heyitsbeej said...

The pile of white things with red on them looks like a bunch of brutalized dead mice. Ew.

The chocolate one with the "rocks" made me think of Chef from South Park...."Hey everybody have you seen my balls, they're big and salty and brown! If you ever want a quick pick-me-up just stick my balls in your mouth!" (The song Chef sang to promote his tasty treats, Chocolate Salty Balls)

Sunny said...

The bleeding fish cake -

Look closely, you can clearly see shark heads.

The whole thing consists of definned sharks - pectoral and dorsal fins removed (for shark fin soup).

I'm not sure if the couple getting married that got this cake are activists or connoisseurs, but either way, that's one disturbing cake.

The Black Dog said...

"Albino Booby Tower"

Oh Jen, this is why I keep telling my friends about this site.

Nathan said...

I see someone else has commented that the bleeding shark cake and its origin, so I won't rehash that.

But if you check out other photos in that same flickr photostream, you'll find some odd ones...especially since boobies seems to be a theme in one of todays wrecks:
Without further ado, the boobies galore cupcukes:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400297851/in/photostream/

FelixAndAva said...

The chocolate cake looked yummy to me (total chocoholic).

The fish tank cake had me worrying about the health of the fish stuck in there.

The gross Rorschach cake, I didn't want to look at closely enough to figure out what was going on in there. Amazingly, IMO, the actual explanation is probably more disgusting than some of the commenters' theories. That takes "talent" (or dementia, I'm not sure which).

The cream puff tower, no real comment.

The Peep cake was adorable! Granted, my diabetic husband's pancreas would probably explode if he was in the same room with it, but it's still cute.

WV: "eurgh" - how appropriate for cake #3, since I'm sure most people who saw it in person reacted with about that sound

Anonymous said...

OK, the third cake looks like it's covered in koi, that fish you see all the time in japanese paintings. Still doesn;t make it any less of a wreck. If you like koi there are SO many better ways to have a koi themed cake than to cover every inch with 3-D squirming fish.

Anonymous said...

Is the first cake supposed to be a chocoholic's dream? Are those rocks really truffles? If so, that's an interesting concept--give everyone a truffle as well as a slice of deep dark chocolate cake frosted with ganache and watch the chocoholics in the room stare at their S.O.s in a haze of chocolate-fueled lust, then start the dancing--and yet it wouldn't work. When truffles get warm, they leave smears of chocolate on everything. Fingers. Cheeks. Your lap when you can't hold on to them because they're slippery.

Word verification: Hableez. What Hispanic people find themselves reading when they ask for an inscription in Spanish and get a Cake Wreck instead.

Elizabeth said...

Is is koi? or dead baby seals? either way, its terrifying....

Kitty said...

Now that we know what was behind #3, I think it's absolutely awesome. If you look at that Flickr page, the detail on the sharks is pretty damned good.

melly said...

So I don't know what's worse, what I thought the red and white was before I enlarged it (used tampons) or what I think it is after (dead whales).

Either way...seriously disturbing.

Chey said...

Albino boobie tower...*giggles like the college student that I am*

The dead fish/dolphins/tampons (well, they DO bear a resemblance...) cake baffles me though. WHY would someone want something like that? Do I even want to know the backstory?

thingsmymothersaid said...

'albino booby tower' is the best thing I have heard all day.

Michelle said...

That bleeding fish cake is the GROSSEST cake I have ever seen on here, and that is saying quite a lot. It doesn't help that we just saw an episode of "River Monsters" that had flesh eating fish that could take care of a body in a matter of minutes that looked eerily like those fish. *shudder*

Becca said...

Here is a close-up detail on the shark fin soup cake :)

It's actually quite amazing detail!! Imagine how long that took.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400939386/in/set-72157600883128862/

Anonymous said...

is it bad that i want to eat the pottery with the rocks cause it looks yummy?

wv: honoba = The wedding cake baker hit the honoba too much before making the cakes...

Natalie said...

Wow. Those are astonishing.
Honestly, my first thought about #3 was that someone had made an intestine-cake!

Then I realized it looked like sharks with their fins cut off, and that didn't make it better or make any more sense.

Thanks to foobella for the fliker link. At least now I know what the freaking heck the baker was doing! Jen, your job is more dangerous than I'd realized.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I hope the marriage that was celebrated with the third cake works out. If not... well, there aren't really "plenty of other fish in the sea" for that couple, are there? Because they're all dead on the cake.

~Elanna

Morgan the Muse said...

albino boobie tower... that made my day.

The Parker 5 said...

Oh my gosh.....is that supposed to be bloody gauze??? Ewwww.

Anonymous said...

The Shark Fin Soup cake is actually pretty amazingly made and striking.

So many sharks are killed to make shark fin soup at Chinese weddings, what is sad is that shark fin is tasteless and the soup is flavoured with chicken stock. Utterly pointless and cruel.

Alessandra said...

that bloody cake looks like toilet paper! (at first I thought of a different thing but I'm not going to say it) Some people is sooo disgusting hahahahahahahaha.
And that bride definitely has balls. I wouldn't dare to give the face after that.

Lynn said...

EEK...that shark gummies cake is icky ...wonder if it's another attempt to disguise piled up cupcakes ?

I kind of like the Peeps Cake...it does remind me of the "Beetlejuice" couple too ! ( I would have chosen pink peeps for the bride and blue peeps for the groom )

And the cake type that originated in France ? They can have that horrid thing back anytime !

Trish said...

So if a croquembouche is basically a pile of cream puffs guests pull off, do you just walk by and grab an albino boobie?

Anonymous said...

I am going to be wondering about that dead fish/tampon cake for days. Please find out something for us will you?

Princess MAR said...

I am totally speechless after seeing the dead fish cake. Wow.

The peeps cake just made me piss myself laughing because my mom is a total fan of peeps and I could totally see her crazy personality doing something like that!!! To a good laugh of course!!

Guma said...

If the first cake is chocolate and truffles, it can look like pottery with rocks.

But I do know that a croquembouche is a um... conglomerate baked good balls of cake or fruit clued together with chocolate or icing. Each ball is a serving, eliminating the need to really cut the cake, but the core is generally Styrofoam.

NotABaker said...

What. The Hell. I don't understand the bleeding fish cake. It makes my head spin a little.

mizzyN said...

are those koi fish stacked onto one another on the third cake? ewww. looks like the after effects of someone bombing a pond.

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