Thursday, April 30, 2009

Jen Pipes Down

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Although the past few days have been fun, I think we're all ready to just let some Wrecks speak for themselves, don't you?


Wow. Very eloquent, Beth H. I never knew that "fithy years plus nine" equaled a "Happle Birthday." Or that random capitalization and periods (the punctuating kind, that is, not the monthly kind) were so in vogue these days. Maybe. i. should. Try. it.!.*

Ok, Monica S., I promise: As soon as I find some "underware", I'll remember to wear them.


Um. What?
Julie S., did this come with a translator?


Or not to cool?
That is the question, Jodee R.


Exclusionary cake really is the best kind:

Unless of course "But-Ringo" is some kind of unfortunate nickname. Which would make you wonder how exactly...uh...you know...

Yeah, maybe we shouldn't follow that thought train too far down the tracks, eh, Glynis E.? Yeah. Hey kids, just look at that ugly airbrushing! Woo wee, is that ugly! Haha!

*Hey, I just realized that when you combine a ! with two ..s, it looks kind of like a cute little chicken head. See? .!. No? Ok, I've officially been at this computer too long...
laura said...

I like the chicken head, let me be the first to say it!
.!.

Blair said...

I really want to know the stories behind the cakes! What did they order for it to come out like that!?!?!?

Anonymous said...
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Fluffy Cow said...
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lois said...

I need that little heart cake.
(Well, I need one that has the rest of the quote that you so thoughtfully provided.)
I hate air conditioning, so it is always a dilemma come summer.

elb said...

I see the cute little chicken head and it is, indeed, cute.

Clay Doodles said...

Regardless of the misspelling, I'm wondering who would remind a 17 year old to wear underwear on their birthday cake?!? Wow, that is sad!

Wendy said...

Wow. I do love the white ruffles and confetti on the Don't Forget to Wear Underware cake, though.

Jessi said...

That is some really ugly airbrushing. And I feel so sorry for but-Ringo.

Christina said...

It looks a bit like the first cake was corrected after "Strong". If only they were that careful with the rest of the message.

And the third cake...well, at least they got "anniversary" and "all the best" right...the caps are a bit much, though.

*is trying to look on the bright side today*

Baking and Mistaking said...

I see the chicken head!
But still...step away from the computer Jen.

Jamie N. said...

Yeah, I think most of those cakes need a translator. haha

Valoria said...
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Justi said...

Love em', lol! I get a headache just reading them......LMAO!

Amanda said...

More disturbing than the mispelling is the fact that the don't forget to wear underware cake is for a 17 year old!!

Cottagecheap said...

That last one made me seasick!

and I think Captain Kirk did the first with all the 'pauses'. :D

HorribleLicensePlates said...

.!. clucking insane!

El Comodoro said...

"equals. Happle Birthday," huh?

You gotta wonder about that. It's almost like a really low rent haiku, done by someone that might not be familiar with the English language. At all.

Or its some fresh-thru-customs Latvian stoner that's found a quick way to clear 7 bucks an hour.

Dorci Harris said...

Cake #3 looks like it was written in some sort of backwoods Nell-speak.

Glad you're back!

Haiku Joy said...
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poornamelesscat said...
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Michelle said...

As for the chicken head, keep in mind it can look VERY much like something VERY different--some long "object" attended by two smaller, rounder, "objects," eh? Just warning you before you go posting the little bird's head all about.

As a side note, I think the Ringo cake looks extremely tasty, and is one of the only airbrushed cakes on this site that is actually an appetizing color.

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catmania said...
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Glynis said...

That last Cakewreck is my submission. I am so proud! (Poor Ringo)

Mequet said...

Man, who knew that I could read the term 'chicken head' so many times and it would be referring to....not what it usually refers to? As for the cakes, all I can say is what the.....?

Hyena Overlord said...

I like the chicken head .!.
>( )<
/ \

These cakes are clearly signs of self sabotage. They were put together with some time and effort then brutally defiled with bad spelling and tacky airbrushing. It's like doing the dishes, but doing them badly so you won't be asked to help in the kitchen again.

wv..goings...there are some strange goings on in some bakeries.

gharkness said...

but, but, but....I thought it was FROM Cool, not "To Cool...."

Wendy said...

I see the chicken head!! Yay! And also, I am snorting with laughter...

Jennifer Elizabeth said...

Why leave Ringo out? He's my favorite?!?

Lissa said...
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Pink said...

I totally see the cute little chicken head.

And that 3rd one...that was professional?? Looks like somebody put their own aimless esl ramblings on there.

Judy said...
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jessmg7 said...

Maybe the last cake is supposed to say "Best -- Ringo"?

THE TREASURE NEST - ELFIE'S PLACE said...

Yeah Michelle - thanks for THAT image ~~ Oh well, at least it appears to be a "Happle" one.

Poor But-Ringo how sad.

Glad you're back "jEN." (<- just pretend it's on a cake)

E

Justfrosting said...
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Lura said...
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Half Assed Kitchen said...
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Tracy W said...
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Trevor said...

I think the last one actually might say "BEST - Ringo" meaning that it came from someone named Ringo. I have poor writing, and somehow I see that there. It could just be me though.

are you SURE the one needing a translator is from a professional bakery? Really? I'm going to cry now.

deckardcanine said...

I think the "everyone but-Ringo" is supposed to be reverse psychology so Ringo can have a happy birthday. Of course, that's unfair to everyone else.

teacher lady said...
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karina said...

.!.

That is EPCOT. You can tell by the font!

Ceci said...

Hey, when they cut that "to cool" take, they'll be splitting an infinitive!

eh? eh?

Bridget said...
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McBee said...

Love that they need to remind a 17 year old to wear "underware"

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jackie31337 said...

Michelle saidAs for the chicken head, keep in mind it can look VERY much like something VERY different--some long "object" attended by two smaller, rounder, "objects," eh?
That was my first thought, too. I must have a dirty mind, or spend too much time around people who do.

As a side note, I think the Ringo cake looks extremely tasty, and is one of the only airbrushed cakes on this site that is actually an appetizing color.
I think you might need to adjust the colors on your monitor. The colors look pretty unappetizing to me.

goldengrl said...
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Glynis said...

Trust me, it DIDN'T say "Best Ringo". It said "But-Ringo". And now he's famous on Cakewrecks.

drk said...

i'm sorry, who needs to remind their 17 year old to wear underwear?? isn't that sending a bit of the wrong message? (besides, of course that it's spelled wrong....)

BITTER OLD BITCH said...

That third cake...

I assume the 35th wedding anniversary it is referring to must have involved cousins, with the creator being one of them.

...it's the only legit explanation for all that mess. *blink* *stare*

selvig said...
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Scritzy said...

Let me guess: The next cake the person decorated said "All your base are belong to us." ;)

joyce said...

What is wrong with me?? I don't see the chicken head?! Help!

I agree with Judy---the underwear reference was definitely a momism. I remember the admonishment to wear clean underwear because this is somehow important to ambulance personnel.

TexasLauren77 said...

I have. no words.!*

Jen said...

i <3 .!.

I thought of the non-Latin phrase,
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi
(Always Where Under Where)
when I saw the 17 year old's cake. But then something of 3 years of Latin had to stick, right?

Of course it could be a shout-out to the panty-less starlets of Hollywood.

laura said...

Joyce, You say you don't see the chicken head. I thin that what you need to do is extremely dangerous, but you will see the chicken, no doubt. All you need to do is stare at the computer screen for way longer than is healthy, and, I can assure you that the chicken will appear before your blood-shot, burning eyes!

Jessica said...
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Kathryn H said...

I want a But-Ringo shirt.
--or underware. You decide.

Amy said...

That's not a chicken head. THIS is a chicken head: >:<> And this is a turkey, in case Thanksgiving pops up again any time soon: >:<>~ You're welcome.

Dea said...

I, too, would LOVE to see the order sheet, or know what the customer asked for.....or have a translator....

I see a chicken too, Jen...

Melissa said...

I'm thinking that I would be glad to be Ringo, since that means I wouldn't have to eat any of that oddly colored frosting and pretend to do anything other than smile :-)

.!. totally chicken.

StuffCooksWant said...
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Amy said...

Gosh, that red/white misspelled cake just made my head hurt. Then I saw the ugly airbrush and have to take some aspirin! Wow! Ouch.

~Amy B.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

Wow, I really, really hate when "too" is misspelled like that, but I hate it more when people write "loose" when they mean lose. Just think of 'loser' people. It's not "looser"!

milk and cookeez said...

.!.

That's the best looking thing here today.
The air brushing looks like camoflauge in Willy Wonka land-quick hide me from an Oompa Loopa!

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Judy said...
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VeggieT said...

I think that last one belongs in the "Passive Aggressive" Cakes secton. Happy 30th to everyone "except" Ringo... I like the Chicken head as well, and if you do ! and . in a long row...

.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

...it's growing grass!

Klucky said...

I do see the chicken head too Jen!

.!.

I like this one better though:

~:>

Hehehehehe!

Thanks for making my day...everyday!

jengersnap said...

(hugs Jen)
You're baaaaack!
And what a comeback. My eyes are crossing trying to read the one written in raspberry jam lettering.

The Ferber Family said...

was that second one for britney spears?? :o) or should i say .!.

onionpencil said...

.!. hmm, better in some fonts than others. anyway, you make my day a happier place bok! bok! xxooo 8D

Kara said...

'And DON'T call me Butt-Ringo!!!!'

Jessie said...

Thank you Michelle for pointing out the male genitalia look-a-like. I was beginning to think that I have been teaching high school kids for too long (one year) or something!!

I instantly saw the man-part, but eventually saw the chicken. After I squinted a little. :)

Oh, and .!. Teehee.

Cheryl said...

.!. Yup, it does look a bit like a chicken head. When it's all the rage, you can smile with pride and say, "Yup, I came up with that one." ;)

Cheryl said...

Who's Cool? I don't know him. What? Oooooh! TOO Cool!

sylvia said...

These can't really be professional cakes, though, can they?

Fluffy Cow said...
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jodea said...

Yay! The horrible CCC I found around valentine's day was posted! "To cool!" ;) Hehehe!

Leesa Perrie said...
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Scientific Chick said...

Wow, that Ringo cake just blew me away. At least he can brag that this disaster of a cake was not meant for him. I'd be happy about that.

Another other mother said...

You would think that if there was one word that anyone who is paid to decorate cakes (no matter how little training they have or how stupid they are) could spell it would be the word HAPPY.

Lindalou said...

Appreciate the chicken head. I might make it part of my official signature. Way better then :)

Jaime said...
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Emily said...
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Tristan's Mom said...

I have to wonder if some 17 year old had a history of forgetting their undies (be it underware or underwear). So much that they needed a cake to remind them??

I love the chicken head. :)

lisadh said...

Great comeback, Jen! Hilarious cakes. My head hurts, but I'm laughing, so it's all good.

Haiku Joy and poornamelesscat - you both made me laugh!!

joyce said...

Okay, the dots on either side are the eyes? And the top of the exclamation point is the crop? But, where is the beak? Is it like a peeps marshmallow head staring at us? Do I need a special font and font size?



.!.

denisewalks said...

That airbrushing was bad, but it would have been only mildly awful if they had omitted the black.

sendingtheclowns said...

Wendy said...
"I see the chicken head!! Yay! And also, I am snorting with laughter..."
***********
*I* see the chicken (or quail)head, too...but I'm snorting something else...

((Just kidding!))

Jen--watch out! A cat is stalking your chicken:

=^ )) ^ = .!.
..and he's almost got her!

JM said...
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Melissa (& Billy) said...

The last cake personifies the term 'Technicolor yawn.' Blargh!

'To Cool'--what, is it a cake that's going to a beatnik party? Will they all snap their fingers as it's brought in? 0_o

The misspelled (and incomprehensible!) one reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons when Lisa asked Marge if Homer had ever written a love letter. "More like a love postcard," Marge clarified, and showed Lisa a souvenir Homer had sent from Duff Brewery. It sounded an awful lot like that cake! 0_o

the girl on the street. said...

haha i love the underware.

sendingtheclowns said...

I GET that Dave has Been Rolling Strong for Fithy years and all. Or is that Fitly?
But I just don't get the extra NiNe tacked on like an amended prison sentence. Exactly what was Dave rolling, anyhoo?
>^??^<

mary said...

i think that cake is actually addressed to "cool".

you know. the entity. maybe it's cool's birthday or something. or maybe "warm" is sending "cool" a going away cake.

yessss.

Kelly said...

As usual, your comments SLAY me. But the chicken head was over the top! I think all of these fantabulous mistakes have started to mess with your vision.

.!. will be my new e-mail signature, even if no one else understands.

Mary said...

The first cake made me immediately think of the movie "LA Story" - when Steve Martin's character was dating SJP's character, Sandy, except she spelled it SanDeE* - and I like the chicken head...I got it and I've only been on the computer for 15 minutes!

The Masked Mommy said...

This post was freekin' hilarious! It's always funny when the cakes are bad enough to speak for themselves ;-)

Jessica said...

Too cool LOL I like the chicken head too but then I raise them so I am partial. .!.

Jessica

DangGina said...

Cake #3--I think it's actually written in Russian...

jenncgf said...

Hey, maybe the 17th birthday cake was for a girl and they misspelled "underwire!"

:D

holly said...
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Melinda said...

I love the anniversary cake! I don't have any actual affection for it...I just think it's amazing that someone, somewhere thought that was coherent.

Jenn said...

long live chickenhead!!!

.!.

Kaysha said...

.!. That's fun! I'm surprised they spelled "anniversary" correctly. And Ringo is my dog. He's not allowed to eat cake.

Pink Farts Website said...

Dear Jen:

What is the freaking e-mail address in which i could e-mail you? I have a million bajillon cake pictures to e-mail you! Anybody can tell me where to e-mail her?

Please tell me!
www.pinkfarts.blogspot.com

Megan said...
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Jeffrey said...

If you combine a comma, 3 periods and an exclamation point like this: ..!., it sort of looks like a rude gesture.


Just sayin'

Jumpyham said...

The last one is tellitubby poop revisited.
Once again, the Engrish people are after us with the heart cake (When are they gonna learn when to use real English???) It makes us Grammar Punks weep, sob and everything in beetween.....

Jo-Anne said...
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Summer said...

Love those cakes.I love that small little cake.So cute..D

http://www.soloden.com

Katy said...
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Moni said...

Hello! I'm Monica S., submitter of the "Underware" cake! Some people asked for the story behind it, so here goes...

My cousin Bobby, who actually turned 18 yesterday, accidentally let it slip that every once in a while he goes "commando." And the cousins always tease him and bring it up at the most unexpected moments to embarrass him. So, on his 17th birthday, I decided to run out and get him a cake and invite some people over. We didn't realize the misspelling on it til right before we lit the candles. The cake ended up being used in a food fight because he was so embarrassed!

Needless to say, Bobby now knows to wear "underware" or else he knows the cousins will call him out!

Jennifer said...
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Solo said...

I'm with Blair.Please tell their stories..;D

http://www.solofoodtrip.com

Petrina said...

BWAHAHAHA!!! Snort, gasp...
LOVE it, love you, don't ever leave us 'cause you are the BEST!!!

ed said...
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Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

lol :P That cake to their mama and "mayee" (???) for their wedding anniversary is absolutely hilariously weird :P

P.S. lol! chicken! .!.

Anonymous said...
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The Angry Jackalope said...

I'm guessing the first cake should have looked more like this: Dave's been rolling strong for 50+9 years = Happy Birthday! It doesn't make much more sense, but it helps.
As for the third cake, well, perhaps it should be "To Dear Mama and Pa Mayee on their 35th wedding anniversary, all the best". But that only makes sense if Mayee is the last name.
Never mind, none of it makes sense. It's like trying to find meaning in tea leaves, clouds or piles of stained clothing. I quit.

LorelieLong said...

If you put one more period on each side of the "chicken head" it looks like a different type of bird entirely. Let's call it the NYC offical bird, 'mkay?

nikki said...

The last one, I don't think the painting is professional. My daughter decorated her own cake last year. We had the bakery make a cake frosted and piped in only white, and she bought cans of spray to make it look tie-dye (we bought to save time). She then sprayed it similarly, and wrote her own words.

Looking at it now, I guess it's technically a wreck! We thought it was great since she did it herself. I'd send a link, but now I'm scared!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunate spelling aside, the "underware" cake looks DELICIOUS. Mmm, goopy white icing.

Lulu said...

I see your chicken head and I raise you a ô¿ô cute little dude peeking over the line.

GINNY said...

Nope. Add two (). now what does that look like?

(.!.)

haha. sorry. lol.

Lizzi K. said...

The "underware" cake looks more like it says "underuone" to me.

I think that other cake says, "To dera mama and am mayee tkein 35th wedTV eh anniversary"

I am not sure what that means, but amazingly they spelled anniversary correctly!

Lizzi K. said...

Oh yeah I took the but-Ringo cake to mean that everyone else was turning 30, but Ringo was turning some other age...



>^-.-^< (sleeping cat)

Emma R. said...

Holy Cow Jen, that .!. is cute!
I know it's been said a hundred times already.
this is my first comment here ever so I'll say this now:
LOVE CAKEWRECKS!!keep up the excellent funniness :)

Mei said...

I see chicken head. Can you figure out how to make a rabbit for me?

thomast said...

"To Cool" is obviously a birthday cake for some kid whose parents named him after the Parenthood character.

elesa said...

thanks. That But-Ringo cake really made my day.

::poltergasm:: said...

i thought people stopped reminding seventeen year olds to wear underpants in the seventies. then again, i didnt wear them @seventeen & it was the eighties--but i was married & we certainly had not yet been forced to forget the seventies influence &, truly, its stunning existence.

on that note, i see yr chicken head & raise it, [pun intended]:
--@
o||o [please ignore dashes & leading, blogger wouldnt let me leave spaces nor fiddle w/ leading, but it's, ah, anatomically correct elsewise}

something like that.
i am not good at ascii art, mind you, but i really think an occasional change in font size might be of assistance.

stormcloud said...

"to cool or not to cool"

ROFL!!!

Passion Fruit said...

Number 3 --- Aww man...What happened there?

I feel an unsatiable need to KNOW WHY and WHAT it says!

Jill said...

I guess John, Paul, and George will be the only ones having a happy birthday...

Anonymous said...

Good lord, you make me laugh out loud! Thanks for that.

Sr. Mina, BSP said...

Are you sure that one cake says "Don't forget to wear 'underware'"? From my own eyes, it says "Don't forget to wean 'underware'". That r looks too much like an n. So who needs to wean their underwear? This cake may have been made for a mommy who was tired of changing diapers and its time to potty-train the child.

*I added the ' marks because underwear is not spelled 'underware'. Its not like you're wearing tupperware under your skirt or pants.

Teri said...

I don't see no chicken head...
Wait, is that a double negative?

Yes, it is. *Brain splode*

Right.


Tbh, it reminds me of something the guys in my class would laugh about.. and I'd probably join them, but I'll just pretend I see the chicken head ;)




Perhaps the "But-Ringo" could mean "Happy 30th to everyone BUT Ringo! You can have a spectacularily cr*ppy 30th!"


Who knows.

Jeanette said...

First time to comment, and long after the original post, but WOW! I'm amazed nobody else has commented that while 'anniversary' IS spelled correctly, the combed icing around the 'r' and 's' is disturbed as well as around the '5' for 35th. Why fix those parts and still leave us struggling to translate the rest? Why!
Jen, LOVE the chicken head .!. (eye, comb, eye) Thanks for bouncing back after Epcot / Earth Day.

Yiskah Sarah said...

I think that "the gang" of Cool and the gang are a little disappointed they didn't get a cake too. Just cuz Cool is so cool doesn't mean the gang isn't cool too... they kind of have to be in order to be in Cool's gang.
Am I wrong??

Yiskah - not quite cool enough to get her own cake

Brian said...

Am I the only one with a dirty enough mind to say that .!. looks like a penis, and not a chicken head? maybe we sould put it on a cake--icing really helps us see the flaws in our otherwise genius level cleverness. :D

Shades said...

Ringo could be their dog that has destroyed previous cake celebrations

Cupcakes Lady said...

Is Ringo not 30...or is he just not liked do you think??? ;) xx

Adina P said...

Well...at least they spelled "Anniversary" correctly--that is quite the feat. Then again after reading through too many cake wrecks I start lose my grip on correct vs. creative spelling!