Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I make no bones about my bid for Wrecky World Domination, and I think you'll all agree that Cake Wrecks is an excellent model for government. [insert joke about Wrecky administrations here]

Anyway, I can tell my evil plan is working, in part, by the number of Carrot Jockeys successfully infiltrating society at large. Here are just a few of the NMBCJ sitings I've had reported:

Here they are flying/gallivanting in classic carrot formation through Mallory H.'s home...


Spreading spelling errors in Ann S.'s...


Terrorizing Jennifer and Krista in their "stealth CCC" mode...


Circling up for a little Jockey powwow over at Maggie H.'s...



And even easing the pain of "workforce reduction" over at Ryan J.'s.*

You know how ELSE I can tell my bid for Wrecky World Domination is working? By winning all three Bloggies Cake Wrecks was nominated for at the Ninth Annual Weblog Awards on Monday. That's right, my loyal wrecky henchpersons, thanks to you Cake Wrecks is "officially" the Best New Blog, Best Writing of a Blog, and Best Food Blog** of 2008. Woot woot!

Next stop: Disneyland. That's right; I shall not rest until I've ridden the Matterhorn enough times to make myself physically ill. And that, my friends, is a campaign promise. [nodding seriously]


*In case you're wondering what that is, Ryan explains "We had trouble finding anything like the babies from the infamous cake screw-up, so we used a rubber fetus we had laying around. Don't ask me why we have a rubber fetus hanging around." Roger on that, Ryan; I won't ask.


** As sweet as victory is, the fact is I've never considered CW a "Food Blog", and feel undeserving each time an award site places it in that category. So allow me to to give a shout-out to the other, more appropriate, nominees in that category. If you like to cook, or even to just read about people who do, check them out:

Chocolate & Zucchini

The Pioneer Woman Cooks (Also the winner of Best Blog of the Year. If you haven't already, go see what all the buzz is about. )

Smitten Kitchen

Bakerella (The one, the only.)


Emily said...

Wow. Just ... yikes. I KNOW it's the stuff of nightmares, but I think I'm going to need therapy after that CCC.

But hey! Congratulations on the awards!!

Jeanne said...

Love them all, but the last one looks like a penis sprouting from a chile relleno.

Sue said...

I read yesterday that you had won in all nominated categories. Congrats three times over!

Kendra said...

The cupcake monster looks strangely like Jabba the Hut.

Kashmir said...

Congratulations on all points! I adore your blog. You are that to which I aspire.

DangGina said...

I hate all these cakes so. much. Except, guess what? The CCC is actually the least nasty to me this time around; the person looks more like a skeleton, and somehow a skeleton riding a carrot is less disturbing than a naked baby riding a carrot.

Never thought I'd even ponder the possibilities...

ValGal said...

Oh those are great, but the first 2 lacked the most important carrot jockey element... the mohawk!! Get it right wreckers ;)

kyooty said...

I have to go back and remember the first carrot riding babies.

Anonymous said...

http://www.yemiipic.com/russian-cake-art.html

not related to the jockeys, but interesting stuff.

kristyn

dmontag said...

I suspect that the "Birfday" is an intentional misspelling, probably an inside joke.

N.starluna said...

"Penis sprouting from a chile relleno"

That just made my morning!

Doublebanker said...

birf-day...never seen it spelled wrong that way!

Daily gif blog

DB

Dave said...

Not being familiar with this strange concept of babies riding carrots, I too thought that was a penis poking out in the last pic.

Truly Hideous Gifts said...

Congratulations!!!!! :)

Trevor said...

You know, the Powwow cake looks more like a hot tub party to me!

I have several friends on the web who do "happy Birfday," so I think that was actually intentional.

Dustythemomhaskins said...

WOW, a lot of babies riding carrots. HMMMM, who's idea was that. They should be fired for that one. YIKES, hilarious. I would cry if I was given a cake like that.

Katie H said...

Love the carrot jockeys! It's always been a favorite of mine. However, I am disturbed by the CCC, not only because it is a CCC, but the baby is terrifying! WTH? However, I do applaud the ingenuity of both the CCC and the rubber fetus since they couldn't find any naked mohawk babies. It's the thought that counts.
wv: rellyze I didn't "rellyze" the last one was a rubber fetus at first.

Anonymous said...

I first thought that Ryan's cake looked like a kayaking fetus. After reading Jeanne's comment, I can't see anything but a chile rellenis. Hahahaha!

Once again, this site is better than coffee for keeping the morning moving!

Kelley Marie said...

That CCC made me laugh SO HARD just now! It's a good way to start the day!

digital sage said...

Normally I might be amused by the laid off cake, except I was just downsized. Now it's just sad I didn't get a cake. And I don't know who first created the baby-riding-on-a-carrot-theme, but it's equally funny and disturbing to look at.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Now I want to see a kitten on a tomato.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Meg said...

Congratulations! I for one am excited for Wrecky World Domination! :)

Long live Jen! Long live the Carrot Jockeys! ;)

Amy said...

Uh...
Oh, no...
Carrot babies, again! (run away screaming) :-p

~Amy B

RBG said...

Congratulations on the awards! Well-deserved in all categories, for sure. I look forward to a "wrecky" update in my blog reader every morning!

Leslie said...

You know I've got all this leftover fondant and gum paste from my Wilton classes...I'm never going to use the fondant because it's the nastiest thing in the world next to chile rellenos sprouting man parts.
I think I'll try making some NMBCJ's out of it and decorating a cake with them. Why the heck not.

Bridget said...

way to go!


...and thanks for mentioning the other blogs, for they are all pretty much awesome as well! :)

Kelly said...

Yes definitely "birfday" is a joke, we always say (and write) that in our family.

Sheryl said...

As one of my favorite wrecks ever, how could I not love all these wanna-be NMBCJs?! But honestly, that CCC? Best. Wreck. EVER. Do you suppose it really was for a girl named Jenn, or that it was an homage to you, purposely spelled incorrectly?!

Amy said...

The CCC looks like a demented um...goblin...thing...yeah....Jeanne makes me want to go take a second look at the rellonis....

-Amy

Lose That Girl said...

Congrats on the awards! Very well deserved! Your site provides so many laughs!

Mandee said...

Congratulations, Jen!! Have fun on the Matterhorn! :D :D

Exit, pursued by a Bear said...

um.....is this business of putting babies on carrots something particularly American? We don't have anything QUITE like them in England. In fact, we don't have ANYTHING like them. I'm confused. Elucidation please.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Congrats on the awards! We love your blog!

Karen said...

I'm just not understanding naked infants on carrots ....

Laura Toepfer said...

kakistocracy is (and I'm not making this up) "Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens."

Clearly a cakeistocracy would be a huge improvement. Plus edible.

Anonymous said...

Is that a prescription bottle in the upper left hand corner of the first photo? Do you need drugs to wreckerate a cake? The garbage left lying around the cake is distracting. Hope next time they clear the clutter before trying to showcase their billiant talent.

When you look at the Birfday cake do you see Happy 4Dth, not 40th?

Jen, "Congradulations" on the three awards!!! Love reading your blog - what a wonderful way to start my day!

kara said...

Congrats! On both your awards and your world domination. I'll be behind you on it!

Nihilady said...

Congrats!!! Congrats!! Congrats!!

Carolyn said...

So, these are all tribute cakes, right?

The 40th Birfday cake seems especially like it was done that way intentionally.

And I cannot imagine someone else coming up with NMBCJ on their own without having read this blog.

Anonymous said...

I've been in a Catholic church which has those little rubber fetuses out in the vestibule to take as a reminder about the sacredness of life and how we must all fight against the murder that is abortion. They come with a little note card. I picked one up to see if I could use it as an eraser.

No go. :(

Just so you know.

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

wow - congrats to you!! I know I voted for you. :)

madrobins said...

These are wonderfully wreckish, but...I want to know what a "4D birfday" is. I mean, I'm glad it's happy, but I'm working with all manner of odd imagery here.

Andrea said...

I think the Birfday was intentional. It also says 4Dth...

Or maybe I'm wrong and they wrote 41 and had to change it to 40.

jojo said...

HaHa, I thought I was the only one who saw the perscription bottle. Any guesses as to what's in it?

Congrats!

Mugsie said...

Congrats on the awards!
Oh man, this is so whiny, but I'm a little sad my NMBCJ/poison birthday cake is not here with its brethren.
On the other hand, that CCC NMBCJ is completely priceless.
Wreckers are everywhere! :D

chefann said...

My husband LOVED his intentional wreck! (#2 in the post)

@ ValGal - I wanted the babies with the mohawks, but all I could find were the ones with normal hair.

@ Anonymous (12:24) - yes, it says 4D, instead of 40. It was an intentional misspelling.

I'm sure the fine bakery crew at my Costco thought the person (me) who ordered that cake was nuts.

Aviatrix said...

I saw a cake covered in regular unridden carrots yeterday, and immediately thought of you.

plus I've been in a Catholic church which has those little rubber fetuses out in the vestibule to take as a reminder.

That is the weirdest thing I've seen all week. And I spend a lot of time on the internet.

Anonymous said...

very creative.Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com

Anonymous said...

I am an American and I am as baffled with babies riding carrots as anybody else in the world. That is very strange imagery indeed. Someone please explain it.

Callisto said...

Omg, I absolutely LOVE the one for Jenn, with the baby made of frosting and toothpicks. That is so freakishly cute.

The Milfords said...

I must be missing the whole carrot/baby connection. That's just weird.

Chey said...

Alright, congratulations on the triple-win! =D

Anonymous said...

i wrote "birfday" on my dad's cake. as i write it on my brother's cakes as well, it's an inside joke.

so i don't think it was spelled wrong.

sometimes it's not the decorator, i think it's just weird things that customers ask for, if you can believe it.

sendingtheclowns said...

Okay, count me in with those other posters who have no idea where the HELL the tiny-plastic-baby-riding-a-carrot "concept" CAME FROM.
I'm not even sure if I want to know...but what the heck; I'm game (mildly curious), if anyone wants to clue me/us in.
If you have the inclination.
Take all the time you need--it's not urgent. At all.
Muchas grassyass!

p jane said...

Congratulations on the Bloggies! You beat DOOCE, which is a huuuuuuuuuge accomplishment right there. (I read and love Dooce but am well aware of her enourmous following, so kudos.)

Oh yeah, cute cakes!

Anonymous said...

How about "Baby carrot jockeys in a foaming hot tub with walnut paneling?"

Anonymous said...

Cakistocracy---I vote for a corner piece with a rose on it!!!

Amber said...

#4 reminds me of one of those Esther Williams movies with synchronized swimmers. The babies and carrots look like they're in a hot tub getting ready to do a series of showgirl kicks.

gayle said...

Am I missing something? Is there a "thing" with babies sitting on carrot cakes?

Curious.

sendingtheclowns said...

Oh, and another thing: IF we simply must associate babies with a vegetable, I say we go with cabbages. After all, babies born in cabbage patches are a way more common occurrence, and easily referenced.
The common carrot just doesn't have the same mystique...

Scritzy said...

I have just lost my taste for chili rellenos. Thanks a lot! ;)

(I shouldn't be eating them anyway. Too fattening, expecially since I slather them with sour cream.)

Word verification: siolat. I sure siolat a bunch of carrot-jockey babies today.

Ali B. said...

Where can I buy little carrot jockeys??? My sis-in-law just loves carrot cake... :) Seriously, could someone give me a lead? Thanks!

Zwee said...

First off, CONGRATS!

2nd: Re: the 'Birfday' cake...
It looks like it says "Happy 4Dth Birfday" rather than "Happy 40th".
This is doubly funny to me as 4D would suggest, to me, 4th dimension...and since Einstein put it out there that time (or the space-time continuum) is the 4th Dimension, I just have to say: WELL DUH!
How could you have a birthday without the 4th dimension. But kudos to the decorator for bringing the passage of time into sharper relief for the birthday boy (or girl.) :-)

MadWoman said...

Congrats! That's pretty cool!

The NMBCJs are kind of creepy on their own but WHY would anyone put them on a 40th birthday cake? Just wrong!

cindy said...

I love Pioneer Woman. Your blog and her blog are the only ones I read besides close friends and family! And her recipes are to die for and the photographs make my stomach growl...

Anonymous said...

Dear Ryan:

The author of this blog may not ask but curious minds want (make that need) to know: Why do you have a rubber fetus?!?

-- Loyal Cake Wreck Lover

Anonymous said...

I would love to know where one can buy the kind of babies that are used in the first picture or second picture. Does anyone know? can you tell me?

This is my favourite cake wreck ever and i would love to have this for a party, but i don't know where to find the babies!

I've looked across the internet through so many "miniature plastic babies pages" but haven't found anything like them! there is just something special about these babies.

I would appreciate the help!

Jennifer said...

@ValGal: I, too, felt gypped (oh, wait, wasn't there an argument over that word in the comments here one day...?)... Errr... I felt *very disappointed* in the lack of mohawk-age of the nekkid carrot jockeys.

And LOL @ kayaking fetus.

Love the CCC tribute to Jen.

mp. said...

congratulations! and good luck riding the matterhorn. every time i'm at disney, it's closed.... looking forward to each scary new wreck and splendid sunday features!

(and why-oh-WHY does someone have a rubber fetus? why do they even make a rubber fetus? where do you get one? yuck, i SO don't want to know...)

Fleetingeyes said...

I'm not getting the reference (if there is one)... But congrats nonetheless!

MeghanJG said...

Congradulations! :)

hoppytoad79 said...

Yesterday at work, someone brought in a carrot cake and there were (duh?) icing carrots on it. As I cut my slice, all I could think about were the carrot jockies.

jencook said...

Jenn here! My creative roommate Krista made the CCC, and it was the funniest birthday present I've ever received. The best part? The arms were matches...you should see the picture with flaming arms!

dykewife said...

congrats on your win!
i have to ask, what is it about putting those icky plastic dolls on carrots? i mean, did it suddenly become popular because it was on your site? maybe you're the trend setter. what's next? wedding wrecks on purpose?

Etain said...

Ok...first, I'm so happy for you on the awards. I love this site so much, it isn't funny. Or is it? Anytheway, I'm not normally a commenter type person, but I had to say, "penis sprouting from a chile relleno" may be the funniest thing I've ever read. I literally laughed out loud. Awesome.

Mallory H. said...

It's not a prescription bottle, it's orange icing dye! I too was unable to find babies with Mohawks, but if you look close, you'll see that I sharpied some on!

Crazy Catholic kid said...

...I actually have a few rubber fetuses lying around. Someone must be a pro-lifer since that's who hands them out. Never thought to use them on a cake though.

Becks said...

The infiltration of the naked baby carrot jockeys into pop culture is a true testament to your influence!

Congrats and best wishes.

B

Becks said...

The infiltration of the naked baby carrot jockeys is a true testament to your influence on pop culture.

Congrats!

Thank you for the smiles!

Laura/Notepad said...

Where do people get those babies for the jockeys? I need some! :P

Congrats on the awards!!

Katie said...

What if it was a baby shaped cake with a mohawked carrot gallivanting on top of it? Would the world end?

sues2u2 said...

Congrats on your awards! That is outstanding!!!! Go Disney! (yeah, I'm sooo into the "!" sorry *grin*)

Pauline said...

Plastic baby supplies : you can get them at good craft shops (the look so cute, six at a time in a little hang-sell bag). Cake decorating shops sometimes have them. They are fun to add to all kinds of art works!

I keep a supply of plastic babies on my desk, along with the buttons, beads and sequins...

DIvyblaze said...

I have to say, all the baby carrot jockeys in the first image look like miniature naked Butt-head clones (where's Beavis? :( )

Congrats on the well-deserved awards! :)

Wolvie Girl said...

I love the original NMBCJs and these cakes are a wonderful tribute. The baby on the CCC looks a lot like Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo after he's been out in the sun for too long, and that fetus in the last cake looks like a penis to me too. Especially funny, considering its juxtaposition to the word "laid" :P

Another Scorpio said...

Don't assume that Birfday is a misspelled word. I loved having birthdays so much that one of the first words I learned to say was birthday, but it came out birfday.

Rebekah said...

Shocked! Shocked am I to find a misspelling by our beloved author! "Sitings," indeed... I think she's testing us. ;o)


WV: grethn
The involuntary sound I made in my throat (like Gollum) the first time I saw the NMBCJ cake.

Judy said...

The first one just looks.....YUCK!... the decorator must have learned how to make carrots but has absolutely NO other cake decorating skills what so ever! What a mucky mess.....eeeeewww!!!!



WV: Ptiatio - Potato....as said by a 2 year old

Toriisen said...

Congrads! What are you doing with your winnings?

RamblingDreamer said...

Exit, pursued by a Bear:

I think the Americans among the readers of this blog are just as confused. It's not an American thing... At least, it's not one I'm familiar with. I've seen carrot cakes with icing carrots. The jockeys are a new twist. I'm wondering what's up with them, as well.

Teri said...

Haha, they're everywhere! I'm waiting for an occasion where I can work a few in myself.

I love the round cake where they're all sitting in a circle, like evil baby geniuses planning world domination in a carroty hot tub.

Katie H said...

You know, it occurred to me last night that the CCC baby looks like it was made of tuna salad with peas for eyes.

rusty said...

The cupee dolls on the cake are terrifying!

Jo said...

Congrats on the bloggies!
On the fetus, you probably got it from a booth at the local fair. I know the ones I've gone to always had the "Right to Life" people handing those out to show how babies already have all their parts formed at a certain gestation.

Denice said...

Birfday is almost definitely an intentional misspelling. One my friends and I have been using for years now, WAY before the way LOLCATZ thing.

chefgrace said...

Congrats, Jen. You are AWESOME!

I want the fetus piece, please.

The said...

I think "Birfday" is an intentional misspelling for a couple reasons.

1) clearly some people here do it, probably as a "childish" way of saying "birthday"

and 2) There are certain accents (I'm thinking of some London accents when I say this, but I'm sure there are more) that "th" often sounds like "f". So the person sounds like they're saying "Fank you" and "Birfday" and so on. It's always possible this person had that sort of accent among people who DON'T, and is being summarily teased.

Robin said...

Maybe the first was was for Octomom!

all the food in the world said...

at first I thought the "CCC" "masterpiece" was the rubber fetus cover in frosting... its by far the most disturbing... and hilariously crafted...

Kelvin said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Joannah

http://myscones.com

Anonymous said...

nice cakes.The Society to Save Endangered Species was formed by Fred Smilek and two of his colleagues; Charlie Mack & Jonathan Korny. Fred Smilek stays active in raising awareness for this cause. [www.fredjsmilek.com]

Katie said...

is it just me, or do the ones in the round carrot cake look like they're having a few cold ones in a hot tub?

kerry said...

I *love* the nekkid carrot jockeys! Now I need an occasion worthy of carrot jockeys. :)

Sara said...

i don't think that they spelled "birthday" incorrectly. I think they spelled it the way they did because it's funny (old white ladies don't usually get a little bit of black humor).

Cupcakes Lady said...

Seen this before....weird and wonderful...i think! lol xx