Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"And in the Mornin', I'm Making WAFFLES."

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Today's Wreck is so unrecognizable I figured I better give you as many clues as possible before showing it to you.

Clue #1: He's big, green, and lives in a swamp.

Clue #2: He's a cartoon ogre.

Clue #3: His name is Shrek.

Clue #4: He looks like this:



Ok, have you guessed who it is yet? Here comes the Wreck! (Choo choo!)


AAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

Ahem.

Ok, so it's shiny, toothy, and has a homicidal glint in its dead, dead eyes.

On the other hand, now we know what would happen if the Incredible Hulk and Sloth from the Goonies ever had a love child. Right, Michelle Y.?
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

LOLOLOLOL!!! This is much more frightening than any of yesterday's cakes. Good thing we have your humor to soften the blow.

Bibi said...

That's so funny, just yesterday we were quoting our favorite talking donkey and the waffle line is the best!!

That cake is gross.

Jessie said...

This is why I don't decorate cakes. I fear they would all look like this.

jengersnap said...

Slimer! With teeth!

Who ya gonna call? Cakebusters!

Christina said...

The only way they could have made that less Shrek-ish would have been to make it red. I couldn't stop snickering.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Oddly enough, I had the exact same lovechild thought in my head.

milk and cookeez said...

I would have nightmares if I ate that cake.
He's coming to get me for eating him, AHHHH!

Tarri said...

I find the teeth most disturbing

JJ Sobey said...

I think I'm most disturbed by the shininess of it. Ick.

Anonymous said...

I love it! What a horrible shade of green, and what happened to his nose?! Sloth and the Incredible Hulk... bwaahhahahahahaa!!! I laughed so hard at that!

Carmen said...

I can only say .... EWWWWWWWW.

Arlynn said...

One of my favorites! Shreck, the movie that is. NOT the cake! What a complete disaster, an absolute atrosity - but at least something to make me laugh on a Tuesday morning : - )

~ Arlynn from Fleur De Licious

Nathan Crook said...

I would expect to see this disembodied head on a pike on an English stone bridge as a warning to all the other ogree....

NC

Viewtiful_Justin said...

You know, I admire your way with words. Some days it's not so much the cakes that are funny as it is what you say about them.

And today? Holy wow!

Thanks for providing a laugh on a fairly bad morning.

Ace said...

Oh my gosh! I've had nightmares that look like that! I can't imagine getting that cake as a kid, I would've been traumatized for life.

Jim Todd said...

If I may draw a line from Star Trek to comment:

"What is it?"

"It's green..."

Jim Todd

intothethickofit said...

Are you sure the Green Goblin wasn't in on that love child action?

This cake is awesome in the worst way possible. Love it!

Megan said...

Now that's a Shwreck! ;)

Julie said...

Looks more like Disney's Quasimoto from Hunchback with food poisoning than Shrek.

RML said...

My four year old son looked at the cake and said " That´s a Shrek cake". Maybe you have to be four...

homeschool mamma said...

that thing lived under my bed when I was 5 years old. Bad memory to relive.
Bev

Nikki said...

Whoa! That's horrible! Talk about nightmare-inducing!

WV: horsup - what my pony made when he saw that cake. Quite a disgusting mess to clean up..

kara said...

Oh god, I hope that wasn't for a child.

Anonymous said...

It looks more like Dobby from Harry Potter......in green! Shiny green Shiny, toxic green...

RecoveringActor said...

You know.. I always read this (even if I've seen the wrecks earlier in the day) when I'm having a bad day at work... but it took everything in my power not to laugh out loud in my cube. Bad plan.

Dorci Harris said...

Holy smokes that's hideous.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

They should have stuck with a parfait.

April said...

Maybe the overhead view looks more like Shrek. Like, uh, about 5 miles overhead? Aerial, as it were? No, still not? Well, I tried.

She said...

Are you sure it's not a jello mold?

peewee said...

HAHA! I sloth! HA!

Michelle said...

HEY YOU GUUUUUYYYYYS!

Liz said...

I love the love child thing because that is SO DEAD ON!

Kat said...

Looks like an Orc on a really good day...

And hey, let's not judge this cake by its exterior. Donkey wisdom suggests that everything has layers...

Fluffy Cow said...

Is freaky.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

But...but...Shrek is actually cute. And this is a....monster.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Juds2323 said...

This is why these company's copyright their images and we're not suppose to make them in cake... to prevent stuff like this. LOL The decorator should have refused to make this for "copyright" reasons. This could have been avoided.....LOL.

Judy said...

I think the frilly doily was a nice touch.

Dana and the Boys said...

That is just scary and gross and just funny...LOL!!

Marie said...

I would have placed my bets that cake was Yoda. Eat this cake, you will.

Neen said...

That is bad, hideous even. I am sure Shrek would approve

Cole said...

I don't even want to know what you have to do to a cake to get it that SHINY!!!

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

Yike!

Sharon said...

Can't be Shrek.

It's a goblin from World of Warcraft game!

Take a look at this face and see if you don't see the similarity:
http://www.wowwiki.com/Image:Goblin_face.png

Well it would be if it had pointy ears.

lol

TooTiredToRide said...

oh dear! I cake should never, NEVER be that shiny!

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

The mouth and teeth on this cake are enough to give me nightmares for a longgggg time.

jess said...

is it a CCC on top of all this gross?

harmzie said...

It's probably closer to William Steig's original rendition of Shrek

And a rough quote - from (bad) memory: "his mother was ugly and his father was ugly, but Shrek was uglier than the two of them put together"

This is pretty much uglier than any two of anything put together!

utaduta said...

so...much...green....GAHHHH!!! how does one make such a shinny green color?! eww.

Josie said...

ba-by ruuuth?

Yikes.

alisaz said...

Baaaaaaaby Ruuuth. That's some awesome stuff and an extremely ugly cake, I would be seriously worried for my health if I ate that..

G33kGoddess said...

It's actually a rather good interpretation of the original Shrek from the book written by William Steig.

Google "shrek steig" to make your own comparison.

KritterBugg said...

Oh. My. Dear. LORD.

Laura Moffitt said...

I can't believe how horribly wrong that cake went!! It’s awesome!

..::Angel::.. said...

He slimed me.

Allergy Mom said...

Here's my homemade Shrek Wrek:

http://allergickid.blogspot.com/2008/04/shrek-cupcakes.html

Even worse, I'm afraid that "mud" look to the frosting was deliberate. At least I wasn't being paid for my lapse in judgement!

Skiprilla95 said...

Wow... this blog is so amazing! I don't really read blogs regularly, but this is just too hysterical to resist. I even blogged about it on my own site! (www.utterrandom.blogspot.com) Keep up the good, wrecky work!

Doublebanker said...

That wasn't even a college try there...horrible!

Daily Gif Blog

DB

Bella Bliss said...

are you sure it's not the toxic avenger?

sarah k. said...

Aww, come on! SCHWRECK!

ladycrim said...

I can't get over how shiny the Shwreck is. Is he actually made of molded plastic?

brown girl said...

i never thought Shrek could look sooo scary!

StuffCooksWant said...

Wonder how much those parents have spent on therapy so far...

AzĂșcar said...

I don't know, maybe the Wrecker is just extremely literate and decided to devote this cake to the original book by William Steig. It looks a lot like the original Shrek. Or maybe I'm just giving the Wrecker far too much credit...

SteveQ said...

You keep upping the ante on badness! Where will it end? The best still is the "We Love Freymot..."

I'll have to go bake something awful now.

Amy Ellen said...

OMG the cake is sooo bad, but your captions are so priceless!!! Thanks for the laugh
Hugs
Amy

Blalock said...

Oh Wow! That is really awful!!!

hoppytoad79 said...

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Mommy, make it go away! Thank you for the humor and build-up to soften the blow, because I could not have handled seeing the cake straight off w/o any warning. O_o *shuddertwitch* My vote is for Steig's Shreck, because that is *not* Movie!Shrek.

Meagan said...

Wow! Is that even edible!?
It appears to have been varnished!

FreedomFirst said...

HAHA! I have to assume that this decorator is either grossly untalented, or has never seen a picture of Shrek.

Carin said...

I am usually just a lurker but had to comment. that is so BAD! Yikes.

I love your blog, keep up the great work - it puts a smile on my face all the time =)

Kathryn H said...

I agree with the poster that said it looked more like William Steig's original illustrations. I thought the same thing when I first looked at it. He was pretty ugly.

Chic Runner said...

Wow, that doesn't even compare. Poor Shrek...

ChefBliss.com said...

AAAAHHH!!!! I love Shrek 2 as no adult should! I quote this line every weekend when I make waffles! I think I need serious help, but this cake may just scare it out of me!!! :)

Susan said...

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
IT LOOKS LIKE SMIEGEL FROM LORD OF THE RINGS ONLY IN GREEN~~~ AHHH i want one???? NOT!!!!!!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Jill said...

We don't know. The cake could be right on, if the instructions were "A Shrek cake, but I want it to look really Ogre-y."

Blizzanj said...

Well, if they were ugly ogre then they got it!!!

Trish said...

My son would be hard-pressed to identify this shiny, green monstrosity...and he's a hard-core Shrek fan! It looks like shaped puss. Mmmm, puss cake...

RobynNewt said...

So what exactly is the cake supposed to be??? Your clues, though funny, weren't helpful enough for me to decipher what the green slime is supposed to be.

*~*Lis*~* said...

Yikes! that's S-C-A-R-Y!!!

msyendor said...

Hey, well, you know, you're always prettier, handsomer, taller and wittier when they make a movie of you.

WV: picidis -- the director said, picidis guy to play the ogre.

meshealle said...

No. Just no. That is NOT Shrek. No.

Cheryl said...

That's insane. Someone take the airbrush away NOW!

Cindy said...

I feel sorry for the kid who had it for their birthday cake! SCARY!

Norkio said...

I just love to carefully, slowly, scroll down the page, savoring your commentary that primes me for the reveal of the latest wreck. You are a genius.

Word Ver = cookescr, the sound a customer makes when they see the wreck they have just paid too much money for

Jumpyham said...

I.....um.....
Okay, so, bottom line it looks like a frog and a demeon mixed with frosting.
When there's somethin' gross, at the birthday bash, who you gonna call?
Cakebusters!

Scritzy said...

That cake isn't Shrek. It's Mr. Yuk's brother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLsONa3gKIQ

Because I think that cake could make someone SICK, SICK, SICK!!

Great commentary, as always! :)

Aja Killian said...

He looks kind of like a green Gollum...I can just hear it whispering, "Precioussssss..."

Or something along those lines. xD
Aja

Rachie said...

I always expect to see something totally WRONG when I scroll down for the wreck, but this one made my jaw drop.

drgns4vr said...

Is this the way Shrek looks in the morning before he showers and shaves?

kalos_eidos said...

That cake is so horrifying that it's hilarious!

Kate said...

If it was a bit more brown it would look like Sid from the Ice Age movies.

DangGina said...

I'm laughing, but I probably ought not...it's really quite disturbing. I'm super grateful for the hints, because I just don't see Shrek in that wreck AT ALL.

What's funny is that it doesn't look like Shrek OR a cake. It looks like...a scary green jello...something...gone awry.

This one could've gone under yesterday's post of traumatizing the children too...

Breath of Insanity said...

OMG!! LOL!!! Do these wreckerators not believe in cake transfers? I would have demanded an apology along with my refund!

Michi said...

Looks like an alt I played in EQ a dozen years ago.

Anonymous said...

whats the meaning of this??

sendingtheclowns said...

"BRING me the HEAD of the CREATURE from the BLACK LAGOON!
On a PLATTER!!
Or your firstborn shall DIE!!!
And don't forget to use a doily!!!!
Now, GO--ChopChop! You have until the stroke of midnight!"

(...mission accomplished?)
>^??^<

SimplyEverything said...

OMG I don't even know what to say about that! That's just baaaad.

Anonymous said...

It looks like smegal D:.

Anonymous said...

kinda looks like a house elf from HP...

TornadoBaby said...

Oh god, it's a Shrek Wreck!

riftinsanity said...

This is very obviously a goblin, not an ogre. The chin is the marking.

Anonymous said...

AAHHH! as soon as i saw the name of this post, i freaked. 1 of my favorite movie quotes ever!!!!! we needed a shrek-wreck.....thanks jen!!!!!!!!!

khek said...

It looks more like one of the mean gremlins fed after midnight in the movie "Gremlins"! Only green.

Freezair said...

Something about his dead-eyed stare, combined with that ridiculous grin, sets off all my giggle triggers. Heeheeheehee!

Dermingl: What Shrek's skin does as it slowly dissolves and mixes with the acid gloop covering his face. Or at least, that's what it looks like.

SallyMae said...

Oh my God! That is the ugliest cake I've ever seen. I don't think I could eat that...the green...the black...the ugly face...UGH!

Anonymous said...

Seems Shrek paid a visit to the local nuclear plant. That probably explains the shine and the mutated face.

I don't know about you, but I'd take dead blue elephants, dead pig butts, and the headless bobby soxer anyday over this!

---Bree

Ellen C. said...

Hulk and Sloth love child??!? Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Princess Talula said...

Oh dear

C said...

Sloth love Chunnnnnnnk.

Joe said...

Are you sure that's not supposed to be a Vogon?

Jacqs said...

TOO FUNNY! It looks like those green things in The Secret World of Og!

Misha said...

Oh, my God...that is hilarious. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!

Teri said...

He looks like the "Green-head-on-the-wall" wizard on the Wizard of Oz!!!

Anonymous said...

*cringes* They expect you to actually eat that?! O_O

Maire said...

oh my..that cake looks like a galum (spelling) from lord of the rings....

Anna said...

Mother of God! That is horrifying!

Anonymous said...

It's Yoda's beatnik brother. See it, with the little thin beard? "Hey, all you Jedi cats and kittens..."

Moraelyn said...

Regarding the "Incredible hulk/Sloth" comment, I only have 3 words: "Hey You GUUUUUYS!"

Ryan P

Amy said...

Shrek got hit with something; just can't figure out what.
~Amy B

wondermart said...

I immediately thought "WoW goblin" too. Maybe I've been playing too much World of Warcraft.

Anonymous said...

OH MY! That is the most sick cake I ever seen!

I love to see that you get so many comments :) keep up the good work, and thanks for posting!

Michelle said...

I submitted this. It was just as grotesque in person. The eyes were very gelatinous and wiggly like jello and they were yellowish. It was for my three year old daughter's birthday. None of the kids seemed to care but we adults laughed (I even laughed after I got over being so annoyed about it).

And as gross as it looks it was actually REALLY tasty.

-Michelle

Ari said...

I didn't know Peas and Boogers was a Crayola color.

velocibadgergirl said...

HOLY CRAP!! This may be the worst wreck yet. For realz. :S

Steph-chan said...

Does anyone else see E.T.? I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, but I'm sure I see E.T. ... after too much space radiation.

slythwolf said...

It looks like the goblins from World of Warcraft.

Ellen Gormley said...

My kids always complain that I never laugh out loud... unless I'm reading your blog, then I just can't hold it in. Too funny.

Emma said...

That Shrek cake looks scary!

MrsEmbers said...

I showed my 3-year old (a HUGE Shrek fan) this cake.

Me: Who's this?

him: (blank stare)

Me: (scrolling up to picture of Shrek) Who's this?

him: Strek!

Me: (scrolling back down) OK, now who's this?

him: (blank stare)

There you have it. It's officially not "Strek"

Sophia Nightengale said...

Just don't feed it after midnight, get it wet, or leave it out in the sun.

Tags said...

Conjoined twin mutant turtles that just a minute ago were on top of the Empire State Building but are now on Shrek's head.

Hanny Banany!!! said...

That's just DISGUSTING!

Anonymous said...

omg, that's one demented shrek!