Monday, February 23, 2009

"Hey everybody, thish cake ish from Holland. Ishn't that veird?"

Monday, February 23, 2009

Brace yourself, my friends, for what you're about to see may haunt your dreams for the rest of your natural lives, and will most certainly turn you off of acrylic nails.


Ready?


Here it comes...


Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the baby shower, they went and added...

The DREADED MANICURED ALIEN HAND OF DOOM!!!

[drawn-out scream]

Ok, what's worse: the bone-white skin pallor, popped-out belly button that looks like the tied-off end of a balloon, or the fact that Thing-ette there seems to be sucking the life-force out of Octo-Mom Wraith-style?

Now, I have pudgy little Hobbit hands, so my basis of reference is off: tell me, is that hand as disproportionally gargantuan as I think it is?

Kevin V., you musht be toight like a toyger*. Schmoke and a pancake?

*Ok, so the pop-culture references got a little out of hand** in this post. Sorry.

**Get it? Out of
hand? Booyah!
«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 256   Newer›   Newest»
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

No, not an alien. My guess is a stripper's baby shower.

Tara said...

That had is freakin' huge, Jen!!!

joyce said...

Creepy indeed.

Melisa with one S said...

EEW!
It looks like a zombie hand.

And the belly button looks like a condom.

-Melisa

Hyena Overlord said...

That hand is creepy but well made. Acrylic nails, dirty dirty dirty.

Would you give the expectant mom a piece of cake? Or not, to save herself from herself. "Fazaa can you hear me?"


wv. shlopea...there's not shlopea vork der but is shtill wrekiness

Anonymous said...

That is just...disturbing.

Alexandra said...

Hey, remember that the Wraith suck life force from the chest area - not always the heart, but close enough.

But then it could be doing that to the baby inside, which would be very creepy.

yes, I'm thinking about this too hard, and yes, I'm also a geek!

Carrot Jello said...

Um...ew.

Vashti said...

HIDEOUS!!!!

Luvvie said...

LMAO! The title of the post made me cackle then reading the post made me chortle. You rock.

P.S. Having the hands of a toddler myself, seeing those cruella deville hands on that cake of terror have scarred me.

Michiel said...

On behalf of the Dutch everywhere I would like to state that thankfully I have never seen such a hand on any Dutch (or other) woman, nor does Austin Power's supposed persiflage of the Dutch hit in any way on the commonly understood stereotypes of the Dutch.

I mean 'schmoke and a pancake'? WTF is that about? Is it too much to ask that people make jokes about the Dutch which actually make sense? Dutch wife, yes, going Dutch, yes, Dutch courage, yes, pass the Dutch, thanks. All these things in some way relate to supposed Dutch culture and/or habits.

Schmoke and a pancake? What?

Yours truly,
A Confused Nederlander.

Kristin said...

started my morning with a good laugh!

I can not believe the nails on this cake!!!!

Mama B said...

The nipples, I can't believe you didn't mention the nipples!

Scarred for life.

Vix said...

OH MY GOSH AND IT HAS PERKY NIPPLES TOO!

So weird, I was watching an Outer Limits episode late last nite and it was about an alien baby...odd coincidence??? I think not...MUUHHWWHHAA!

Actually the fingernails creep me out more then anything...they dont match the shirt.

Colee R. said...

thats a very uh... unsettling cake.
Think anyone said " I CALL THE HAND!"

Anonymous said...

I've had your site bookmarked for a good three or four months now. I check it every day. In fact, it's one of the few sites I've bookmarked that warrant a daily visit.

Then you had to go and make an SGA reference, forcing me to comment just so I could say..."I SO todalie underneath that 'hart' U"!

Damn, that looked so much better in my head with the pink frosting and white roses...

HotHeaded said...

That is a freaky alien hand.

But really do you need to put nips on the boobs? I think everyone could have figured out what they were w/o the nips. I could never ever eat some baby belly or boobs. But that's just me.

NDL said...

oh.my.g-d.

mama4life said...

Let's not leave out those gargantuan nipples. ~tara

Alice said...

I also have hobbit hands, so this hand is also terrifying to me. But perhaps somebody with a more neutral frame of reference can enlighten us. I have a hunch, though, that those nails are enough to scare people of all hand sizes.

Jen H said...

*shudder* You're dead on in your analysis of the hand proportions. It's creepy and spider-esque

nikki said...

pipe and a crepe? no?
bong and a blitz? no?
shigar and a vaffle? no?
then there ish no pleashing you.

apparently the hand model has marfan's syndrome.

abc said...

nice party hats, too.

Sari Everna said...

*twitch*

I think what really gets me is the overall sense of creepy I get... this cake is messed up.

The hand itself is not so much out of proportion as the fingers are looong. And kind of bony looking. And pretty much alien.

But, seriously, WTFnails!?

Stacey said...

you didn't even mention the scary things going on underneath that green cloth thing.

So wrong.... on so many levels...

dark-sekretlove said...

also those nipples, eesh!

Welmoed said...

Are you sure it's from Holland? I think it looks more like a French flag. The Dutch flag has horizontal stripes; the French flag has vertical stripes.
(being Dutch myself, I'd rather see the French be responsible for such an awful cake).

RobynNewt said...

Oh. Mah. Gawd. OhMahGawd. OMG. Whaaaaa.... WHY??????

Christy said...

No words...

Ok, I have a few. Wow, that is just one of the weirdest things ever. I think I'd rather have the disembodied torso instead of the creepy skinny hand thing!

And also - it must be very cold in there... oO

write2sarah said...

Um, I think that cake should wear a bra. It's a little, um, exposed.

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

Baby womb cakes freak me out. The nails just make it a million times worse.

Galadriel said...

I have long, thin hands; that's definitely exaggerated way out of proportion.

It's also scary. Yikes.

I am finding Cake Wrecks to be one of the high points of the whole bleary-waking-up part of the morning, thanks!

Krystle said...

Wow, I did NOT look like that while pregnant!

Holland said...

You didn't even address the fact that the woman is nipping out. And yes, those fingers are scary weird.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Yikes. Yikes. Aaaaaand...yikes.

That's horrfying!

And it's made all the better by the fact that you said, "Booyah."

Fhtrkstr101 said...

God! So awkward! Creepy as hell.

Personally I find the freakin' nipples on these cakes to be weirder. but I might not be seeing right.

Anonymous said...

that is so white trash!!!!

Doublebanker said...

A very nice pregnant belly cake... a great baby shower ornament!

Don't forget to check out my Daily Gif Blog...just a few days left in my first giveaway.

DB

Anonymous said...

I think the fingers being long and thin are very elegant, pianist like fingers. The only problem I have are the freakishly long nails and the ugly manicure, oh and the color of the skin.

RecoveringActor said...

Were the nipples in there really necessary?

What I want to know is... what person gets their alien hands manicured in that way? It looks like a flag.

Beth said...

Maybe when the belly of the cake is cut the little tyke will come out, or milk will spurt when the top half is cut. Weird. The hand is gruesome too. Very weird.

Connie said...

The hand is creepy big, but the thing that is making me shudder is those bewbs. Real mama bewbs don't look that that!

Justfrosting said...

It looks like the hand is going to perform a c-section. OMGracious. That is terrifying.

Tim Burton's "The Nightmare before Delivery"

Miranda Y. said...

I love the fact that you referenced Wraiths. A connection to Stargate Atlantis is about the only redeeming quality this monstrosity has! Wow.

Anonymous said...

Uh-huh! Oh yeah! First comment!
That looks seriously creepy. WHAT WOULD POSESS A DECORATOR THAT TOLD THEM THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA???!!!!!!

Rob said...

Whoa.

Those are some big ole' hands, even for the Amazons.

I'm all for embracing a woman's body as she goes through pregnancy, but cakes of such things weird me out. I mean, who really wants to be the first to cut into that thing? And who would want the pieces with fingernails on them? Eek!

JennyKitten said...

disturbing. in. many. ways.

Jen, I think you're a little heavey handed with the puns :D

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

I feel ill.

Kashmir said...

There is nothing, absolutely nothing remotely correct, good or funny about this cake. I would have run screaming from the shower or at least barfed on the carpet. What were they thinking?

Ashley said...

It reminds me of Cruella DeVille... pale skin, freakishly long, thin, gaunt fingers...

Those are just the kind of fingernails Cruella would sport, too!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

And the breast implants! Bleah!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Dez said...

like the belly and boobage wasn't enough? wow, and no your are correct that's one gigantic hand i ever saw, she could hold that baby with just one!

Anonymous said...

The hand would be a bit small compared to mine, but I have "man hands".

Kelli said...

That belly button is disgusting!! And you are right...that hand is unusually large! The fingernails...all I can say is YUCK!

Anonymous said...

I think it's the fingers that are out of proportion and..........ewwwww, gah.

Gretchen

Kt said...

Is it just me or does the "belly button" for this cake look actually look like something that is designed to avoid this whole pregnancy situation in the first place?

Kate said...

I just love that the word "booyah" was used in this post! HI-larious.

Carrie said...

Wow - that's scary! But, I do have extremely large, long fingers myself so it doesn't look too disportionate to me. I have an almost 3 octave reach on the piano.

But still... that cake is SKEERY.

dani' said...

Despite the creepiness of the hand, my eyes were drawn to the nipples.
I wonder what they used for them. Skittles?

Shellie B said...

Actually, that's pretty much the proportions of my hand, minus the fake nails of tackiness and doom.

Vinca Leaf Quilts said...

Aliens have nipples....who knew?

Rebecca :D

peewee said...

I gotta HAND it to ya....

Talia said...

AAAAAEEEEEEEEK!

I can't decide if the freaky nails are the worst part, of if they draw attention away from the evil hand of doom. We won't even discuss the nipples. Shudder.

Well, you warned me...

Will Hull said...

Why are the nipples poking on this pregnancy cake as well? Creepy.

Missy said...

The only thing creepier about this cake is the fact that you have to cut into the belly to eat it. Yum...baby. *cringe*

Leah said...

and the nipples! it must get chilly with one's shirt pulled up like that

quinn said...

Who would want to cut into this???

Ewwww.

Jess said...

Can't you just see the shirt this one would make? A maternity shirt! It would be great.

Nicole said...

THE CAKE HAS NIPPLES! OH MY DEAR SWEET JESUS MY CORNEAS! THEY BURN!

sammik said...

Don't forget that one of her nipples is visible through her shirt. Sexy.

Budgyrl said...

Your totally right, the hand is super huge. I don't know anyone that could actually basketball grip an entire pregnant tummy.

My favorite part of this cake however is the nipples.

~Anne said...

Those fingers are about 11 feet long! Yikes!

WV: entens - the cake decorator actually entens for the cake to look like THAT???

Anonymous said...

That looks like a French manicure to me. :-)

~Ken

Christa said...

it's certainly rather goolish...and large in preportion to the belly

Jeanette "Frogster" said...

i have no words. . .

Kalika! said...

That hand does look weirdly disproportionate. Like there's an alien standing behind her, holding onto her balloon...I mean, belly. And what is with the extremely prominent nipples? Mom-to-be must be cold...

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

That is one seriously creepy cake.

Leslie said...

Yeah, I agree, those fingers are super long! I have short stubby ones too, so maybe I shouldn't judge. But they do seem really long and alien-like.

Plus..er, um....is it cold in there? Are cake-torsos just naturally cold or something?

Cheryl said...

Whoa! Those links need warnings! Way creepier than the creepy cake, which was totally creepy! =)

MarieA said...

Is it a July 4th Baby perhaps? that's gotta be the reason for the nails right?

Kate said...

can you imagine getting the piece with the nips?!? I'd lose my lunch.

erin said...

eww. just eww.

Devin said...

Wow. Is it just me or does that look like Mickey Mouse with a bloated face?

Skye said...

Yikes!!! I don't think I could bring myself to eat one of those terrifying fingers. You didn't even mention the lumpy boobs- what's going on there??

Anonymous said...

why does it seem like all these cakes with severed pregnant torsos are also a bit cold? they all have crazy nippleage...

Devin said...

Oh, and you have made a Dr. Who AND Atlantis reference on this site so far! I'm in love! =P

*James* said...

That is just awful

word verification: domentam
Domentam angry or they'll send the creepy hand of acrylic nail-land after you! Eek!

jill said...

wow....just wow

brainsurgerygirl said...

It's gwen stefani BEFORE the holy baby zuma!!

Misty said...

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!

sarraphim said...

I think you're correct. That hand definitely looks way bigger than it should... I don't think even my hand would look like that, and I've got super-big mannish hands.

Andy said...

Are we sure it's not an ice cream cake? She certainly looks cold...

k8lynr said...

and, this alien is quite... perky, to say the least.

oy vey.

Jen said...

Yeah, as if the alien freak hand and nails (shudder) weren't enough, the right nipple is disturbing! I'm just waiting for the sheet to fly off the top of the cake and those giant boobs to pop out! Do people not have any sense of decency? I don't know if it's a baby or just indigestion!

Cami said...

O.o Oh yikes, that is freaky! And lol - Wraith Queen was totally my first thought, too!

Olson said...

So much to love about this cake, really.
Seriously, the mom to be is wearing a belly shirt, has huge boobs, hard nips, and a scary manicure. Obviously, the expectant mom is a stripper.
As for the prominent nips....
you know they probably had the cake in the fridge at some point, so that probably explains that...

Kamity said...

I love, love, love what a nerd you are.

Stargate.

I want to be your neighbor. T_T

Anthrophile said...

LOL -- I love it! (My hand is the opposite of pale, since I am emphatically not white, but I am very tall and thus do have those long spider fingers. Of course, I do not emphasise them by putting my country's flag all over them on long-@$$ nails...)

Anonymous said...

This is just hideous. Looks like the results of a chance encounter between a pregnant lady and the T-virus


brainnns, brainnns...

Anonymous said...

Cigar and a waffle? Pipe and a crepe? Bong and a blintz?

No Jen, you aren't crazy - I was blessed with long fingers, and even if I had 4 inch acrylic nails of Doom, I still could never wrap my hand around my pregnant belly like that. Methinks they are some kind of Dutch tentacle-hands, come up from somewhere in the canals.

BTW, my family is Dutch :)

-Liesl

Laura [What I Like] said...

I think it is the freakishly long nails that are throwing the whole thing off. Which is not to say that it would be any better with normal length nails...

Anonymous said...

Yikes!


**Possible spoiler if you haven't read any/all of the Twilight series**











































Actually, to me, it kind of makes me think of Twilight..Bella. In the last book..pregnant..baby sucking the life out of her..though I don't think Bella would get her nails done like that! Plus, she wasn't a vampire yet when was pregnant, so wouldn't be that pale yet..

Yes, my mind is weird, lol! I wouldn't ever make a cake or eat a cake like this though!

Lisa said...

And why are the breasts always braless with large nipples?!?

Dani said...

My grandpa played basketball so I've got his huge hands, no seriously my fingers are as long as my husbands (thought still feminine). So I'm in a good position to say yep that is frekishly out of proportion.

Anonymous said...

After viewing the various maternity cakes on your blog, I am leaning toward the good old days when baby bumps were concealed by modest clothing, rather than clingy t-shirts and yoga pants! Also, breasts were harnessed in modest brassieres!This cake left me nauseous.
Blogless Mary Lou

Karen said...

That is a seriously gross cake.

But to tell the truth, I'm paler than THAT so the color doesn't bother me.

That hand and the nipples, though,...ew.

Nikki said...

As horrid as those hands and nails are, the fact that they STILL don't distract you from the nipples is even worse.

WV: hadeb - The nails were bad, but the nips hadeb be the worst.

Scritzy said...

Holy freakin' cow!

All I can think of is the many times I have heard pregnant women shriek, "Don't touch my belly!" And now you have someone with alien hands and a bad manicure sneaking up from behind.

But somebody had to lift the shirt and show off that condom-shaped belly-button. So where's the other creepy hand?

Word verification: nedede. I nedede a drink after I saw this cake.

Buffy said...

I get it! It's a pregnant vampire! You know, like Darla? From Angel? Okay, I'm a geek.

iceprincesskrs said...

Disturbing...

Allison Harris said...

I agree that the bellybutton looks like a condom, which adds all sorts of irony.

Persnickety Ticker said...

I am not sure which is more oooogie, the nipples or the wet-looking belly button. This thing is just wrong on so many levels.

Loved the wraith reference! That was exactly what came to my mind when I first looked at this!

Suzyhomemaker said...

Maybe the fact that a lot of food born illnesses can be harbored in acrylic nails, that's another reason to be turned off of them :) This picture, though, will turn me off of cakes with alien hands though :)

kacenka said...

Reading your today's post I am watching 'Arrival' with Charlie Sheen and tons of aliens in it! I am not eating cakes this week!

Pam said...

I have a sci-fi loving husband and I am embarrassed to say I knew what you were talking about when you mentioned the wraith...without having to click on the link. I thought the belly button looked like a tied off balloon also.

Amy said...

Gross. I think I'd pass on a piece of THAT cake.
The alien hath returned.
~Amy B.

drgns4vr said...

What is with people who think pregnant body parts make an attractive cake for a party? Come on, people. What ever happened to nice round or square cakes with pastel "baby" colors (or even spoingy primary colors). I'd even settle for the baby carriage or the umbrella--a cabbage patch or a stork shaped cake even, but leave the body parts to the hospital, please.
Yeah, I know, I'm old and cranky. But I still get invited to baby showers.

Josie said...

thank goodness they left out the stretchmarks....

HorribleLicensePlates said...

THO!!

Ticia said...

Ok yes the hand seems long and very thin. The belly button is yucky.
I don't understand the giant nipples showing through her shirt! I don't commonly see this on pregnant women. I can't say anything about the skin color because I am actually that color.

The Mama said...

Aaaauuuughhhhhh! Like Mama B said, The NIPPLES! Is it cold in here? HELLO!

wolfmom said...

It's so scary on so many levels...I just want know, did they used real acrylic nails? That would really raise the ICK factor.

SarahAB said...

I thought it was an octopus wearing snazzy sneakers, and frankly, I prefer to keep thinking that.

Cancemini4 said...

I'm so glad someone finally noticed the nipples. I mean, maybe this says more about me, but those were definitely the first and scariest things I noticed. Eew. Could you imagine being the bakery assistant that had to roll out fondant nipples? I'd definitely be looking for a new job.

Brandi said...

I just wanted to comment that to me the nipples are perhaps the most WTF thing on here. :)

Anonymous said...

From a dutchie..

wow thats awful.. luckily some people can bake and decorate decently here.. too bad that doesn't go for the person who made this cake!!!
The nails are gross.. and it looks like a man hand then with the acrylics stuck on haha.
I at least hope it tasted better than it looked!!!
and to michiel the other dutchie.. the schmoke and a pancake is something dutch to tourists.. everyone knows amsterdam for drugs.. and no matter where you are in the world there are dutch pancake houses.

TeDiouS said...

I am so relieved I wasn't the only one who thought the belly button looked like a condom...

lisha said...

The hand is huge but never mind that, what is up with the bumpy breasts? I think I would have been too traumatized to even eat that cake. AND I LOVE CAKE!

Char said...

I am strangely torn between wondering "why the nipples" and "how did they make the nipples"?

Becky said...

The nipples are definitely the worst part. Though the thought of a Wraith with a 4th-of-July manicure is making me all giggly and helping to ease the pain.

Juf Astrid en juf Tanja said...

Yup, it's creepy!
But what's also pretty creepy is that we Dutch suddenly seem to speak English with a Hollywood-made German filmaccent!
Yikes!

Kathryn said...

An SGA reference! My day is complete.

And that's one creepy hand - it does look like a wraith with acrylic nails trying to kill someone. This was meant for human consumption?

Fluffy Cow said...

After reading all the comments, I see there really is nothing else to be said. Really.

Miranda said...

Well, I'm that pale. But the hand is too big for the belly. Still, damned if I could make a hand that well.

Anonymous said...

Ok, this is nasty. Me thinks this cake needs some pasties too!

Chrissie said...

The scariest thing to me on this cake are the nipples of steel! Why would you put obscene nipples on a cake? But then again, this whole cake begs the questions "Why??? Why??? WHY???"

j.cro said...

I rather think the belly button looks more like a freshly un-packaged condom. But who am I to judge?

Stephanie S. said...

Hmm, could it be a pregnant wraith? Is that even possible? Love the SG Atlantis reference, by the way. That was definitely the best part about this cake!

BigMomma said...

Um...yeah...

Thanks for the nightmares for the next ten years.

Dorci Harris said...

Okay, that whole thing just freaks me right out. And what is up with the temperature presumption, ya know?

Anna said...

This wreck is fantastically funny, as is your commentary (which is always hilarious), so I'll keep the nit-picking short: this is the French flag, not the Dutch one. They both contain the same colours but the way they are arranged on the nails for someone looking at it from our perspective (and even if you go towards the wrist), meaning vertically and in the order blue, white, red, is French. Still, I love the Austin Power reference, being a huge freakin' filmgeek myself.

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

The Dutch lady is right . . . it is the flag of France on the background as well as on the nails of that ginormous hand! What really creeps me out is the notion of performing a baby shower cake c-section. Do you want that piece or a chunk of breast (with or without nipple)? Eeeeewwww!

Eliana said...

my questions is why do they always feel the need to put little nipple bumps on the breasts of these cakes. do the women they are modeling these cakes after (aside from having ridiculously large stomachs and out of proportion appendages) not ever wear bras??

Robin said...

Well, that certainly is... uh... patriotic?

Or possibly gross. Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with gross. This trend in simulated cannibalism just weirds me the heck out.

Also? Woo, SGA reference! Booyah!

Danielle said...

Bwahaha! I love your geeky pop culture references!

The Ferber Family said...

the hand is, indeed, HUGE. speaking of huge and disturbing.. what gets me is how, um, COLD it seems to be in there... if you know what i mean...

spacedcowgirl said...

@ Anonymous 11:12: I actually think the "severed" part of the pregnant torso cakes is by far the creepiest part. The original purple one was actually kind of pretty IMO, but YOU ARE STILL EATING WOMEN'S BODY PARTS. Ick. I love cake and will usually eat even the crappiest most artificial supermarket variety (on the theory that some cake is better than no cake), but I would be hard pressed to actually consume any part of the torso shower cakes.

Anonymous said...

Eh, just a Wilton Mickey pan changed a bit. My wife decorated cakes for many, many years so I've seen a lot of adaptation.

That is not to say this is a great cake. I find it bizarre, simply as a total theme type cake, and the fingers are proportionate to the hand, *but* the hand is friggin huge compared to the body size.

That said, though, I have no problem with eating it. It's a cake. "yeah, I'll have the left boob, minus the nipple (wouldn't want to be a glutton) and the middle finger". Mmmmm

KimboSue said...

How about the fact that there appear to be NIPPLES on the boobies? BLECH!

punxxi said...

heheheeh I have such a warped sense of humour,as do most of my friends that we would all love this cake. I would want the condom belly button. Yeah those hands look kinda gigantic...and what kinda mum that's ready to pop would want claws to stab bay with?

Rachel L said...

I have been reading your blogs for months loving the mix of bad cakes, good sarcasm and a little geek.
Thanks for the austin powers reference. Everytime anyone says the word "weird", I immediately flash on the quote from Goldmember. I'm glad somebody else does too.
Please keep up the AWESOME work!

Mrs. T said...

Did anyone else notice that the cake is nippin'?

Anonymous said...

that is massive!!! :-)

http://worldnewsforums.com

A Mother's Story said...

Um...yeah, very creepy. And apparently cold wherever this cake monstrosity was stored...

Chic Runner said...

no words. no words to describe the disappointment in this cake.

Rebecca Rodgers said...

I am so going to have nightmares...
Wrong on SO many levels.

Sorsha said...

It reminds me of the other mother's hand from Coraline.

Brrr...

apparentlyjessy said...

I adore you used a Stargate reference! Cakes + Stargate = AWESOME!!!
This cake creeps me out!

Conniefirechick said...

I'm going to have to say the creepiest part of this is the fact that not only are Lee press-on nails heavily featured in this cake... the baker felt the need to give this a true "hoochie-mama" feel by giving it nipples.

why do they feel that's necessary? are we not going to understand they are supposed to be breasts without the nipples trying to contact nasa???

Jodi said...

There are no words lol
just....odd

Maaike said...

I'm astounded, I've never heard of a baby shower here in Holland before!

Maaike said...

Oh, and I'm rather thrilled that on my birthday you
a) have a Dutch cake
b) refer SGA!

Bryna said...

Is it cold in here, or is it just the cake. I think I'm most disturbed by the nipple action that's going on those large bazoombas. Gross!

And isn't that France's flag, not Holland?

Julia said...

It's the Other Mother from "Coraline"! Now she's after the unborn!

(I love this website sooooooooo much. Keep up the good work!)

Word Verification: reshle. Yesterday at the library we were laughing so hard at Cake Wrecks we forgot to reshle any books.

bigspoonbakery said...

My god that's awful.... I now vow to never do a hand-over-the-pregnant-belly cake. AWFUL!

Snackrifices said...

Not gargantuan. This person has Marfan syndrome!
-Ashley

alcoLOLz!1!! said...

the creepiest part would be cutting into it! gross! that, or when your creepy uncle at the party requests one of the breasts and then eats it without a fork and knife.

Anonymous said...

SGA! SGA! SGA! SGA!

...and now we will never get the movie and all i will have to look forward to are weird connections. Picturing that hand as Todd's, well, that is creepy. thanks so much for that image. must go now and destroy those brain cells.

Anonymous said...

Sooo... you can see her nipples. Ew.

FreedomFirst said...

That hand looks to me like the Other Mother's right hand from Coraline. I mean the story, not the movie. The movie looks really stupid. The story is awesome.

Pumpkin Spice said...

I wonder who the fazha is...

Anonymous said...

Looks like the alien's hand from Signs that comes under the door...*shudder*

kalos_eidos said...

I think any pregnant belly cakes are tacky to begin with, but that just takes it to a new level of gargantuan tackiness! Gargantuan, like that malformed mutant alien hand.

Jenn said...

Are the nails a Pepsi Commercial??

Allison said...

The belly button looks like a condom.

Robin said...

That is just icky. How can anyone eat it?? *shudders*

Anonymous said...

i'm waiting for one of these cakes to have something inside the huge bump - like jelly (which would be gross) or frosting... or an EDIBLE BABY... >shudder< creepy

Morrigana said...

This is the first time I've felt compelled to comment.

Yes, that hand is all out of proportion. The index finger is longer than the middle finger, and it's almost like there's an extra knuckle in them all. There are a few things wrong with that hand.

Now, I have a vague guess why the belly button looks like a balloon, and that's because my mom (only a semi-professional cake decorator) made a baby shower cake with a big pregnant lady once. We actually stuffed a little toy animal inside a balloon, and blew it up, then iced over it to be the belly. That way the mom-to-be got to "deliver" the baby. Mom used the neck of the balloon for the belly button, but she iced it a lot better, made it look more natural.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else see the nipples?!

Lola said...

Why is the belly button so... shiny?

I hope there's one of those baby cakes on the inside. Wouldn't that be a fun surprise for the person cutting the cake? Cutting a cake or a c-section, you decide.

Kirsten said...

OMG that hand is rediculous!!! When I have a baby, I'll make sure they make some outrageously stupid cake so I can send it in here...but seriously, what can top this one?? Other then, of course, the anotomically correct "Giving Birth" fondent cake--LMAO!!!!!

Emily said...

My hand fits on my belly about like that... but I'm not pregnant.

And the nails and the nipples and the white skin WTF. As if these cakes weren't awful to being with.

verification... o unpro is right!

SciFi Mama said...

Definitely a wraith hand. Maybe Michael in disguise? I don't know what I like more about your blog, the cakes or all the scifi references I get!

Angie, SciFiMama

norby said...

Okay, I had to scroll down a bit, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the huge nipples on that thing.

Though the hand is definitely alien-caliber creepy...

Sims said...

Oh god, it look's like the Other Mother got knocked up...

Anonymous said...

.. and it looks like the bakery was very cold that day as well know what I mean?

Camille said...

Someone commented that the cake reminded them of Bella's pregnancy from Twilight. I thought of the same thing when I first saw this cake...

But really, it is frighteningly beyond unappetizing!

Tammy said...

Was it cold in the bakery when they frosted the cake???

Pam Fillin said...

is it me or does that hand have two thumbs? on on the belly and one in her shirt?

wingedfaerie said...

Just once I'd like to see the "carnage" (as my hubby refers to what's left on the plate/table, etc from any gathering) from one of these wrecks.

You think that was red velvet cake in there? i might have a problem if I was the recipient of a cake as freakishly *shudder*...words escape me.

Ang

wv-orkult...looks like demon handed mama was dealing in the orkult. ;)

Chris said...

That is a very patriotic cake... except it is the French flag, not the Dutch flag (which is horizontal, the red on top and the blue on the bottom).

Anonymous said...

i have freakishly long fingers which look even more freakishly long in photos :/

The Five Nomads said...

I have seen the model for this cake! The Labor and delivery nurse I had for my first delivery -she scratched me to bits! I am a nurse now and strong believer that RNs should not have acrylics! lol

Amy said...

I have what people might call "freakishly long" fingers, so to me....that hand *almost* looks normal! LOL The nails...nasty! The nipples...come on! All in all........I think I'll pass on this cake!

*Kristyn*Maia*Mekai* said...

The only thing that would make this cake more wrecktacular would be if it was a red velvet cake....

**snickering**

:)

Hyena Overlord said...

I forgot to mention. I have size 9 hands. A nine inch span from the tip of my thumb to the tip of my pinkie. That's not counting my artificial nails (clean unpolished ones). Big bewbs too. Normal inney belly button though. I empathize with the cake but it's still weird.

Big hands will come in handy (no pun intended) when FHOTD takes it's show on the road with the "Whack an Asshat" road trip.

wv. sating...just checking in before work, sating my appetite for cake wrecks.

dracothelizard said...

*is Dutch*

What's up with the Sean Connery impression?

And, oh God, there is just no good way to incorporate pregnancy in a cake. rew

Kelly said...

I have long fingers. But I don't add giant acrylic nails to extend them. I have a friend who has really long fingers, longer than mine. Even so, I think this hand is disproportionately long in comparison to the torso. Just sayin'.

This is the craziest cake. I would NEVER want a piece!

pika23 said...

Hahaha Gold Member!!! The best part is when John Travolata portrayed him for a few minutes!

vivaELvino said...

brings those R Crumb cartoons to mind- the ones about his fantasy for a voluptous woman without a head. The best part- the wet t-shirt contest nipples LOL.

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