Friday, December 26, 2008

Kwanzaa Will Not Be Spared

Friday, December 26, 2008

I made an exception before to include a Sandra Lee creation here on Wrecks, and I'm afraid I have to do so again. How could I not share this bit of holiday cheer with you all?

Yes, those are corn nuts on the edges, although Lee calls them "acorns". There's also canned apple pie filling, cinnamon chocolate icing, pumpkin seeds, and of course the giant taper candles. Here's a handy diagram courtesy of One Horse Shy (which offers it as a poster or on t-shirts) in case you didn't catch all that:
If you want to watch Sandra work her magic you'll find the official video (with commercials) here, or watch a low-quality Youtube version here.

But wait, there's more! While I was digging around looking for more Kwanzaa Wreckage online (note: there is none) I uncovered a hilarious photo-documentary by Flickr user Kitty LaRoux of her and a friend (aided by an indeterminate amount of bourbon) attempting to recreate the cake. (Her blog post on it is hilarious, too.) The official recipe online includes popcorn in addition to the corn nuts and pumpkin seeds, so the end result - sans candles - ends up looking something like this:

The title of this photo is "We have to eat it?", and the reaction shot after she tries it is pretty priceless. I'm guessing it tastes as bad as it looks, Kitty?

Now, before you guys start complaining that this is not technically a Wreck, let me just say I can only work with what I'm given, alright? I haven't found ANY other Kwanzaa wreckage out there. In fact, I'm starting to think that this African festival of First Fruits is somehow anti-cake; that, or they're being made extremely well and kept in strict seclusion. Here's hoping that next year wreckerators will step it up. ;)
stewbert said...

oh gosh, i saw that episode and wondered what the heck the acorns were ... thanks for the enlightenment?

All Adither said...

That looks like something Snoopy would whip up.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

tigerleo said...

Really seriously??? This woman has her own show??? I know children who can "bake" better than that!!!

And those candles are pretty much a crime against ... well, everything.

littlebirdbigcity said...

Oh god, the horror! Sandra Lee should never have been allowed in the kitchen!

Amie said...

Sandra Lee is the scourge of all things baking and cooking!

Cube said...

Is it weird of me to think that the first cake kind of looks like it's made of processed meat. O_o I mean, meat isn't usually paired with apples and corn nuts... but you never know.

And the Photostream... I sincerely hope that I am never served a cake with corn nuts. Especially not corn nuts that are green. X_X

Kimmy said...

Haha, I think pretty much anything Sandra Lee makes can be included here. She's completely insane. And drunk.

Athy said...

Wow, I'm actually the 1st! This is just awesomely wrecktastic. Sandra Lee is a joke to the culinary world, imo. Who ever would even think to put CORN NUTS on a cake needs to be whomped upside the head.. lol.

April said...

She can't be sane. She got a mining stake through the head at some point in her life, right? I mean...right?

delaney55 said...

Those look and sound, horrible. Why bother? Bake a pie or something already.

Justin N said...

The first one looks like a cake from the TV show Firefly. Though the cake on the show was made by a spaceship mechanic using protein. Here is the best picture I could find. http://www.moviemistakes.com/picture68902

Spooneroonie said...

Sandra Lee isn't a professional by any stretch of anyone's imagination (except hers, perhaps) so I think she's perfectly admissible for a CakeWreck.

By the way, it's rumored that FN no longer is calling it a Kwanzaa Cake, it's now an Autumn Cake or some such nonsense.

singdown said...

What IS it about winter holidays and the gross fruity cakes they bring us? Christmas has fruitcake (just Ew), Chanukah has sufganiyot (otherwise known as jelly-filled donuts fried in oil. Bleh.) Now there is Kwanzaa, new to many of us, and with it comes a new taste treat: slimy apple-filled pumpkinseed-popcorn-cornnut abomination. I vote we start a new holiday (Winter Cakefest, maybe?) and designate an appropriately delicious (and hard to wreck) cake to go with it. NO FRUIT! NONE!

word verification: rerspr: the involuntary noise you make while trying not to vomit on your keyboard while viewing the Kwanzaa cake.

writtenwyrdd said...

popcorn, corn nuts and pumpkin seeds on a cake? That's just anti-cake.

And the Lee woman is a menace.

Emily said...

Oh, that is HORRIFYING. Cinnamon? Apple-pie filling? CORN NUTS??? It boggles the mind. It's way too early to read a recipe like this. I'm dry-heaving.

Anonymous said...

That thing looks like a mud hut. Probably tastes like one too.

Bibi said...

I don't know too much about Kwanzaa, but maybe the meal before the cake is so large, plentiful and delicious there's no room for cake?

Amy said...

O.K. I like Sandra Lee, but that has got to be one of the worst things she's ever made! The candles alone are enough to be a wreck...

Josh said...

Maybe it's all on purpose. Maybe Semi-Homemade is a kind of propaganda engine that is intended to convince people that if you want good food you'll have to do some real work and not just cobble together things you got at the supermarket. In that way it acts as a kind of advertising for other Food Network shows, which all advocate actually putting some effort into cooking.

It's like when you're mom tells you that, sure, you can go out in the snow with no coat on if you want to catch pneumonia and freeze to death. Sandra Lee just wants everyone to know that it's perfectly okay to buy a bunch of ready-made stuff at the last second and slap it together in an attempt to look like something homemade, as long as you don't care that it won't taste any better than store-bought and everybody will know what you did anyway.

sendingtheclowns said...

First of all, canned apple pie filling should be made illegal.
Second of all, what, exactly, IS that slab of crap on the top, anchoring the candles in place so that they don't topple over? The diagram points this out to be the pie filling, and yet it looks like some weird colored Play-Doh, and is completely unappetizing.
Corn nuts are not acorns (acorns are way cuter). Might as well have used actual acorns; no one's going to want to actually eat that abomination, anyway.
Last, but not least, Lee is a bad joke; I have a suggestion as to what she can do with those candles, but I won't say it in polite company.
=^()()^=

Jessie said...

Corn nuts are cake decoration of '09. She's just ahead of the game a little bit.


That's what I hear anyways.

Yikes.

Emily said...

I actually got to watch this episode when I was home sick last week. I have been talking about this cake to my friends for days. If this woman can have a cooking show on TV, then certainly I could have one. Please... using canned icing on a store-bought cake? Genius.

In the spirit of laziness, let me delight you with one of my favorite recipes:

Wash and trim 5 stalks of celery
Cut celery into 3 inch-long pieces.
Arrange celery on a plate
Pour ranch dressing into small bowl
Put bowl of dressing on plate with celery

Dip celery into ranch dressing and enjoy!

Jeanne said...

Holy Smokes. That thing looked disgusting! How on earth do canned frosting, cocoa, cinnamon, angelfood cake, friggin' corn nuts, and canned apple pie filling end up on the same plate? There is no way this "cake" could have passed muster in any kind of recipe testing. And don't get me started on canned frosting. No excuse for it whatsoever! People--frosting is the easiest thing to make in the kitchen, with the exception of boiled water!

Kerry said...

How Sandra Lee even got on TV is a question in and of itself. That woman should not be allowed to do anything.

Lulubelle B said...

Eeww! Gross! (And she doesn't know the difference between frosting and icing.) We've got two apple cake recipes we make every Fall. They have real ingredients and people actually EAT them.

Lily said...

Its actually painful to watch

sara said...

i just looked her up, and turns out she's from my hometown! good old sumner, washington... whoops

Sherri said...

Kwanzaa is supposed to celebrate the harvest, so I never really understood why the hell it's in December and not October(this is only one reason why I don't celebrate it). I mean, WTF?

I remember the first time I saw this cake on Semi-Homemade. I think I wanted to go thru the screen and strangle her! It was(and still is) such a travesty that I considered her the bane of Food Network's existence.

Then I made her gingerbread cookies this year and I had to shut up. *lol*

But I think this totally counts as a wreck. It's wrong to the nth degree!

Mari said...

They look like one of those balls covered in seeds that you hang out for the birds!

Lauren said...

It's the Kwanzaa Kake of Kultural Insensitivity!

Every time I describe this cake to people, their jaws drop. Its horror needs to spread as far and wide as possible. (By the way, it's no longer a Kwanzaa Cake on the Food Network website; it's now a "Harvest Cake" so it can nauseate everyone all autumn long!)

blckbtch said...

How is it this woman, who I'm assuming (and most likely correctly) doesn't now SQUAT about Kwanzaa be allowed to make a "cake" commemorating it?? This woman needs to keep the frack out of the kitchen. I've seen her show a total of twice and the only thing she does semi-correctly was the cocktails. She seems to have left out the Valium that usually accompanies it though...What a douche

AC said...

Is it possible to classify this cake as a hate crime?

Aviatrix said...

When you said that you were making an "exception" to include the cake, at first I thought you were referring to the Sunday exception where you feature non-wreck cakes, so I scrolled down to see the non-Wreck Kwanzaa cake.

I blinked at it, thinking as charitably as I could, "Well, it doesn't have the ... style, and uh, smooth perfection that the non-wreck cakes usually do, but I don't know anything about Kwanzaa nor much about cake decorating. Maybe I'm missing something that makes this cake great." I carefully examined the anatomical diagram, the trimming and the list of ingredients before it dawned on me that you weren't trying desperately to be culturally sensitive, and that when you said that you couldn't find any Kwanzaa wrecks, you meant by commercial bakeries.

debbiearnn said...

oh i saw this episode, too. my husband was gagging at thought of apple pie filling/chocolate-cinnamon frosting...all on top of angel food cake. UGH!

Sport's Mom said...

OH. MY. GOD. (yes I used the Big G Word so shoot me okay!)

Calantha said...

They both look like they'd taste horrible! Sandra had to have come up with that idea when she was a bit too tipsy, right? Right? I can't imagine that anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa would think it was a good idea.

wv: podere - misspelling of "poder"

four little blessings said...

Seriously, the title of the show might as well be.... "Leftovers and pantry scraps".... whoever watches that for good ideas needs more help than the Food Network can offer.... just stop and buy a dozen donuts... your guests would appreciate them more! :)

Tammy

Anonymous said...

Gag me! I think Sandra was hitting the cocktails too hard when she came up with this one. Gross!

Kristina

maggie said...

That is the worst thing I have ever heard of. That makes me want to cry.

Alix said...

No Kwanza Wreckage? Oh, I think not. In fact, that Sandra Lee monstrosity is about as wrecky as it gets. Now, I must disclaim because I think she does fine with her niche area (sorry, but there IS an audience out there for shortcut meal ideas), but her desserts are almost entirely gag-worthy. Case-in-point this Kwanza thing. Does mud pie come to anyone else's mind here? Gross.

wolfmom said...

I'm still trying to "taste" that chocolate/cinnamon thing in my head...and WHY would you add vanilla to vanilla frosting? Isn't that a given? I can't imagine where she came up the idea of yukky canned apple filling. The candles alone are horrific!!! This is an unimaginable and totally disgusting(urp)WRECK.

Thanks for this. You are my new favorite blogspot.
Kathleen

Deborah Godin said...

Oh my tummy hurts just looking at it! If you serve this cake at a gathering of friends or family, be sure to check all your flower pots and wastebaskets after - people didn't really gobble it up that fast. Oh, and keep the number of the vet handy, too.

Kira Petersson-Martin said...

What about Hanukkah? We must have loads of wrecked cakes yet... It's still not over!

The Happiest Girl Alive said...

I watched the video and the sight of her dumping that pie filling into the - uh - gorge actually triggered my gag reflex. Day-um. I thought I was made of sterner stuff.

jen bryner said...

ok, even though other cakes have looked truly hideous with their spelling, choice of colors, and lack of decorating talent...THIS cake actually made my nauseous. the idea of eating popcorn and corn nuts on a cake...*shiver*...is just wrong. it's right up there with the meat "cake"!!

wedschilde said...

How about a picture of the cake someone actually MADE ?

flickr link to album:
http://flickr.com/photos/leslieannsf/tags/kwanzaacake/

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2153/2050848415_b92ac42665.jpg

ksaldria said...

D: How is that even remotely edible?

cadylee said...

That looks effing disgusting. I cannot believe someone would even try to eat that.

SweetyPie! said...

Sad.......soo soo sad....... ( *sniffle*)

thisbagisnotatoy said...

Cocoa, sweet spices, and grated apples combine nicely in one of the only cakes I bother to make entirely from scratch. (I think combining may be the concept this cake is missing.) Maybe there would be more Kwanzaa wrecks if it were a festival of First Cakes rather than First Fruits.

Anonymous said...

This cake is embarrassing, darn near insulting. How was she allowed to name this after Kwanzaa? Have I missed something? Shame Cake is better. And I really liked Sandra Lee with all her shortcomings, I mean, short cutting recipes.

Tori said...

I thought of this blog when I saw that awful cake on TV.
Makes me wonder if Sandra Lee huffs gas in between takes.

Princess Poochie said...

I watched that video and it has to be one of the most vile taste combinations I can think of.

Gross!

Why the heck is she still on the air???

rebekah said...

thank you, thank you, thank you for including this!!! i saw that awful cake a few years ago when she debuted it and i could not believe my eyes!!!

Anonymous said...

Of course, when I think of harvest festivals, I think of wealthy white women.

To be fair, I liked the idea with the sheetcake on the sheetcake only for having children at a party decorate a cake (Certainly not to substitute for a wedding cake or for anything other then having kids help decorate).

But this is horrendous. It's like she wanted to combine the ingredients with the least amount of effort possible.

asillylittlegirl said...

That is just gross-ness-ning!
Sandra Lee prolly said that it was a llllovely, delllicious, cake. She holds onto those l's too much when commenting on her foodstuffs.

Liz said...

The absolute best part of that cake is reading the reviews of the recipe on the Food Network site. Seriously, go there now and sample a few because: hilarity.

Nicole said...

I think this monstrosity is appropriately wrecktastic! Who said a wreck had to "look" wreck-y? The combos thrown together for this doozy make me think she took darts into her pantry and just started throwing randomly. "Hm, Corn Nuts on a cake? Well, if the darts say so..."

Charlene said...

It looks like a fat old bald guy wearing a Technicolor St. Lucia's Day crown as seen from behind.

marveen said...

Cinnamon and chocolate are good together. Cinnamon and apples are good together. Vanilla and chocolate are good together.

The trouble arises when the corn nuts arrive at the party, and it's exacerbated by the fact that neither canned frosting nor canned apple-pie filling are really edible.

And whatever possessed her to put it on an ANGEL food cake? (Not that corn nuts and pepitas are going to go over like anything but a lead balloon as cake decor, no matter what kind of cake/frosting you sprinkle them over.)

Scritzy said...

I had an uncle who used to fill his plate with food, slop mayonnaise on top, stir it all together and eat it.

I thought of him when I saw this cake.

I cry for those corn nuts.

blade girl said...

AC: It should be...but intent may be difficult to prove w/ her "altered" state of alcohol and valium...

fourlittleblessings:
I could do better w/ a show *actually* called "leftovers and pantry scraps" and my stuff would be edible! Oh wait, b/c I'd do actual cooking w/ the leftovers and pantry scraps.

Josh: what's also extra-special about this "semi-homemade" cake is that it will taste WORSE than the individual ingredients on their own. Talk about an endorsement for the *cooking* shows on FN.

Thanks, Jen, for posting this! I've been waiting for this ever since the "watch SL decorate w/ Mario!" post.

Jena the yarn harpy said...

Oh yes, that was from the episode where she made a festive angel food cake for each of the three major December holidays - Kwanzaa, Hannukah and winter. (She left out Christmas.)
The Hannukah cake was frosted with blue icing and she made a star of David out of a wire strung with pearls. The winter cake was just coated with canned frosting and coconut.
It was a seriously painful episode - I can remember watching it with my old roommate and the two of us screaming in disbelief at the screen at what she was going to do next... and then being sadly correct.

That woman needs to be kicked. Hard.

Heather said...

What, exactly does this have to do with Kwanzaa? I'm pretty sure canned apple pie filling, angel food cake and store bought frosting are not traditional foods anywhere in Africa.

Wait a minute. Kwanzaa is a uniquely American holiday, although it's founder would suggest it has African roots. These foods are pretty typically used in the U.S. But not just by black people.

Why am I trying to make sense out of something Sandra Lee does?

Anonymous said...

The grandkids made something like this last year in school. Then they hung it on a tree for the birds.

nadoine: Sister planet to Tatooine

Dusty

vixen said...

Sandra Lee scares me! She is like some sort of "everything must be the same color scheme"Stepford Wife drone. NO offense, but GEEZ, would it hurt to NOT blend into your background. LOL

I always wondered how much they spend to redecorate/color- coordinate that set for every episode.

jamoche said...

Corn nuts were the ammunition of choice in food fights when I was in high school because they stuck in your hair. I've never been convinced they were actually meant to be edible.

Willow Tree said...

The last one reminded me of Rachel's "English Triffle" on Friends.... bwaaahahahaha!

Blessings, Carolynn

Anonymous said...

I think they've deleted the recipe from the Food Network Website because I kept trying to search it and got several links to it but it's been taken down...

I WONDER WHY???

Jenn said...

Justin N, you are awesome! This wreck is reminiscent of the cake in Firefly. I'm sure Kaylee's cake tasted better though. ;-)

shoppista said...

Terrifying. I can't decide whether to be more put off by the weird fruits and seeds, or by the enormous, rocket-booster-like candles.

Dea said...

Yeah, because there are SO many angel food cakes in Africa....and Corn Nuts, too...

Special Sauce said...

That cake is vile. As for Sandra Lee, I keep waiting for her to catch on fire, because she never pushes back her billowing sleeves in the kitchen. (Mind you, I won't WATCH for her to catch on fire, but I wait for the news report.) I figure she's pickled in enough ETOH she should go up like a Roman Candle. THAT will be punishment enough for all the travesties she's inflicted on the culinary world...

Anonymous said...

Is that for real?

I also like how the skinny blonde WASP chick is making the Kwanzaa cake.

might as well just continue the stereotypes and add some fried chicken and watermelon on top of that "harvest cake."

Anonymous said...

I just have to say that the only time I've ever eaten corn nuts was when they were served with ceviche (raw fish or other seafood "cooked" in lemon, for those of you who don't know). So their presence on this cake is uber confusing - and even more icky - to me...

Word verification: fulfpe, the sound of the bile at the back of my throat upon reading the ingredients list for this Kwanzaa treasure

Jules Noctambule said...

Sandra Lee stands against everything good and right about food. She doesn't cook food so much as she assembles it!

Martin said...

My SO looked and said, "Looks like a horseshoe crab shell with candles stuck on."

DangGina said...

OH. MY. HELL. I watched the little video. I thought certainly it couldn't be true. But there you have it. First off, I'm appalled she had the audacity to call it "gorgeous." It really is an eye sore, isn't it? And "DELICIOUS"? Really? With all those flavors together, I'd think it'd taste more like...umm...vomit? Honestly, corn nuts with cinnamon-chocolate icing and apple pie filling?! HOY! (That's my dry-heaving sound.)

The ONLY positive thing about this cake is that it's easy to decorate. Although I'd be embarrassed to show it to anybody.

Kudos to Sandra Lee for...no, wait. Somebody actually PRODUCES this show. I think that's the real crime.

joeshida said...

Dear...God. This is disgusting. As an African American I'm offended that this woman thinks that this is what passes for traditional cooking. Corn nuts?! On a cake?! Really?!?

Sarah said...

Okay, do you know how horrifying this was to me? I didn't even -know- you could buy canned apple pie filling. Ugh, my teeth hurt just thinking about the amount of sugar they dump in with them. This is obviously a "food device" created by the same fiends who concocted canned "frosting".

joeshida said...

Ummm... and something tells me that she hasn't been invited to too many actual Kwazaa celebreations

Anonymous said...

This has got to be the biggest wreck yet. And ahe is a professional, since she gets paid to assemble ingredients to make "food" and "desserts."

Emily, you should pitch that celery recipe to Food Network!

Besides all the comments already said...

My husband eats corn nuts, they are nearly inedible to me. They seriously hurt my teeth they are so hard. It makes my teeth hurt imagining biting into one amidst cake!!!
And what Idiot would call them acorns!?!?!? Acorns???
Who doesn't know what an acorn is? Acorns are too bitter to eat without some major processing efforts, and you would sprinkle whole acorns on a cake!

WHY is she calling them acorns? This is really bothering me. Does anyone have the video of the press conference she (should have) had to apologize for this travesty and to explain why she doesn't know the difference in an inedible squirrel treat and a convenience store husband treat??

Alex

M'Lynn said...

I've long held the belief that Sandra Lee has pictures of Food Network execs in compromising positions. It's the only thing that explains how long this madness been perpetrated upon the public.

The recipe is just plain gone from Food Network's site.

Oh, I really dislike her.

Passion Fruit said...

Good Golly Sandra!

bakatulip said...

Dude, that is disgusting. Worse than the christmas tree cake. She makes me want to CRY.

Fluffy Cow said...

Eew. Just eew.

DB said...

someone else made the cake and has a pretty funny post on it. seriously, sandra lee NEEDS to be stopped.

http://randomaccessbabble.com/2006/11/sandra-lee-is-foods-natural-enemy.html

Kitty said...

On the actual Food Network episodes, she uses real acorns--I believe they're hard enough to come by that corn nuts were thought of as sufficient substitute.

Kate said...

I see Cornnuts, I can't help but think of Heathers. This cake makes me want to kill myself!

Amy said...

In my quest to find a non-wrecky Kwanzaa cake, I found this:

http://flickr.com/photos/21758760@N02/2452093574/

Thank you google image search! You made my day...

Jim said...

THAT woman (not said in a sexist way) has a television show?! Was there nobody else involved with the show kind enough to say this cake is a bad idea, let's try something else. OR were they all as crazy as her?

Anonymous said...

She.. she...
she.. .....


RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD ANGEL FOOD CAKE!!

This cannot be forgiven!

judi said...

I love this site. There are so many ways to screw something up by accident. But what is really amazing is when a person makes something like the Kwanzaa cake which is just so wrong on so many levels and does not realize how bad it is.

Xavier said...

Kitty also has a blog post about this cake

http://ultrafineflair.blogspot.com/2006/11/kwanzaa-celebration-cakestravaganza.html

Anonymous said...

"Kwanzaa is supposed to celebrate the harvest, so I never really understood why the hell it's in December and not October(this is only one reason why I don't celebrate it). I mean, WTF?"

I remember reading (back in the 80's or early 90's) that Kwanzaa was placed after Christmas when created, to encourage black children (and adults) to stop focusing on the **materialism** of Christmas as celebrated by the white majority of that time--to lead them to develop a strong sense of ethnic identity as being part of a community, and understanding how they contribute to community. If you know the history of the Civil Rights movement in the 1960's you know that many black people were poor in the 1960s, and the kids were getting the idea that it was better to be white than black (see "The Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison) because, on TV and in the press, white people had beautiful homes and got all these great gifts at Christmas and so on, and could buy anything they wanted, and black people got little or nothing because that is what they could afford. So Kwanzaa focuses attention on community and ability.

Anyway, you could technically be harvesting till November, so this would be the time you rest from labors and make those homemade gifts and so on.

Anonymous said...

I despise this woman, but am compelled to watch her show...

Wendy said...

After showing the vid to my husband, I foolishly asked him what flavor combination could be worse - he suggested "What if she glazed it with maple syrup?" Never ask a husband a question you don't want to hear an answer to!

That woman is a menace, how did she get a show on FN? Cable access is probably too much exposure for her "recipes."

emmylou said...

oh my god! i actually updated my status on facebook while i was watching that episode to say "(I am)... horrified by what sandra lee is making right now." so glad to see that i wasn't the only one!

seriously, i only tune in to that woman's show to witness the ultimate in tackiness.

i hope to see more of her wrecks here in the future as she certainly supplies some good material.

Carrie said...

Disgusting! that's the only word for that.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you made it on Neatorama today.

http://www.neatorama.com/2008/12/30/nastiest-kwanzaa-cake-ever/

Amy said...

I've watched that video a few times for the sheer horror and ridiculousness of it! How can anyone take that seriously?! The gargantuan multicolored candles plopped in the top are priceless.

Chelsi said...

what. in. the. hell?!

Anonymous said...

Bahahaha. I JUST rushed over here to see if it was on this website, because it's so deserving of a place here.

Alex said...

Did you ever notice that the main ingredient in all of Sandra Lee's recipes, whether it be roast beef or an apple pie is "whipped topping". B***h must have stock in cool whip.

Anonymous said...

Um, I think this cake officially qualifies as a hate crime.

Eve said...

Some of what she does is ok, but the cakes need to stop. My wrecky favorite is her "Noel Cake." It is hideous and can be seen here, make sure to click on the enlarge button:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/noel-cake-recipe/index.html

suz said...

thank you for the lovely stills and diagrams. didn't think this could be possible.

project mogul said...

Wow. I just found this site and have been thus far amused, but when I arrived at this monstrosity, well, I about fell out of my chair. What a spectacular trainwreck of a dessert! I am in awe...

Andy said...

i would like to note, that when cakes look like that, they only take a tiny bite
andy

HJS said...

I do believe in certain circles that has been dubbed the 'poop cake.' Eminently fitting, I think.

Emily said...

I saw this awful cake around holiday time and forgot about this gem until just now. That thing is an internet good legend!

Here's it's twin sister, the Hanukkah cake: http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/hannukah-cake/3201.html

Note, the Star of David is the wrong shape, and I don't believe those are Kosher marshmallows she shoved into the middle of that poor innocent cake.

And why would you FROST an angle food cake? Blech!

The Denny Family said...

I agree that anything Sandra Lee does is a qualified wreck- even if its not a cake! Have you featured the "Christmas Tree" cake she made? I haven't looked around your entire site- but that one is a gem.

frankandcathy said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce40YCHysVM&NR=1

Seen this little Sandra Lee nightmare? EGADS!

Jenn said...

Can you believe this? The caption on the foodNetwork video said "Semi-Homemade makes a most amazingly beautiful cake for Kwanza."
Love your blog,
didn't get mad about EPCOT,
Your fan,
Jenn

Kelly said...

Corn-nuts? As in "I'm-driving-along-and-feeling-a-little-peckish-rest-stop" corn nuts?

DJ said...

Gotta keep this recipe away from granny or it will become a holiday tradition! Anything with canned apples is good in her book!

Anonymous said...

...So, what's Sandra Lee up to today? Let's pop over to the Food Network website and... No.

NO! The first cake for today (12/24/09) is "Angel Food Cake with Mixed Berries". Guess how you make it? Take a store-bought angel-food cake, take some berries and sugar, mash berries and sugar together, then pour them on the cake. Genius! Innovative! --Huh? Oh yes, I guess she is a generous dab of whipped cream short of a strawberry shortcake.

I understand if FN tries to attract non-cooks, but I didn't realize that combining ingredients in a bowl was so radical. By golly, I could do a half-hour show on the caramelized pairing of pancake syrup and peanut butter! I must be in the wrong biz.

Rosanna said...

Umm, yes, it is a wreck. That woman is vile and she must be destroyed.

Kendra said...

CORN NUTS!


And Sandra Lee makes me want to punch kittens.

Julie said...

Oddly enough, I remember her doing a similar cake years ago. It also involved a store-bought angel food cake. And pale blue icing. The kind of pale blue you might get if you mixed Drano with pure white icing. Yeah. That covered the cake. It was a Hanukkah cake. It's in the same episode as the Kwanzaa cake. I think my favorite part is when she forcefully stuffs marshmallows into the center of the cake with the frosting laden knife. *Shudder*

Cupcakes Lady said...

This is ..a little scary. It would have made a good halloween cake! lol Suzanne xx