Here's what Jennifer S. wanted for her sister-in-law's baby shower:
So you know this is going to be good, right? [snicker] Here's how I imagine the conversation in the bakery went:
"So Lee, you gonna need a tracing for that cake design?"
[scoffing] "Puh-lease! Me? Don't you remember how I took that art class in night school last fall? I'm golden! Pass me the airbrush, will ya?"
"Wow, are you sure? It looks pretty complicated..."
"Only to the untrained eye, my friend. Now stand back and let the master work."
15 minutes later:
[staring]"Gosh, Lee, I don't know...""Yeah, it's a little bare in the corners, huh? I better add some roses. Let's see, what color goes best with purple, orange, and yellow?"
"Maybe a light pur..."
[interrupting] "OH! I know: teal!"
(Note: The crazy names and question marks were actually requested, since the baby's name was still undisclosed. I'm guessing the damaged area was a result of Jennifer doing a face-plant after fainting in disgust at the sight of it. Am I right, Jen?)
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Love the spaceship theme. I never would have thought of that for a baby shower. I guess I'm just not that creative.
Is it just me, or is that cake design out of focus? But then, I have the same problem with my high definition TV... without hi-def eyes, what's the point?
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Based on how fuzzy the design looks, my guess is that the 'oops' on the bottom was done by the decorator trying to get in close to do the detail work on those teal roses. When you see the original, you just KNEW a wreck was on the way. The mind reels at the possibilities. Would Dr. Seuss find it amusing or insulting?
oh my wow ummm. Yeah Im sure somewhere those colors really go together and Im sure if you squint really hard and tilt your head to the left ok well maybe the right. hmmm I think I can kind of see the resemblance to the picture.
This is horrible!!! What are they thinking honestly when they had over a monstrosity like this to a paying customer!
Spew-coffee-on-my-keyboard-pee-my-pants-snort-out-loud-funny as hell!
This is my absolute favorite wreck!
I can't stop staring at the purple snail, it's got me in a trance....
aww cute! baby first snail ride!
this one cracks me up! it looks like geese pulling an alien in a spaceship. hilarious!
It looks like a snail shaped alien space craft transporting a baby.
Yikes.
That is such a complicated design - I'd never go into a bakery and ask for that. She was just asking for a cake-wreck when she chose that picture.
Now, expecting a design like that to be translated by a grocery store deli/bakery worker is asking for trouble!
Holy moly, even in the home decorating department that would be a big fat fail.
It looks like a spaceship.
It looks like a spaceship! Holy Moley, your baby is coming from outer space!
Hmm...we always assumed that alien technology would be better, but this cake seems to imply that their flying saucers are actually pulled by teams of space-birds.
I'm not the only one seeing a flying saucer with an alien in it, am I?
That's pretty Wreck-tastic! Although, part of me wonders if the people ordering complicated cakes like this from a grocery store bakery aren't setting themselves up for a Wreck-tastrophe. Walmart bakery does not equal Mike's Amazing Cakes.
Nothing says "Welcome to the World" like an alien in a strange spacecraft powered by pterodactyls.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
*complete silence*
No words can express the horror I felt when I saw this.
I had a similar experience 7 years ago (way pre-CW) and had a family friend copy a picture of bears on clouds. It was no way close and I promptly hauled to my nearest grocer for a replacement. Gosh, now I wish I took a picture of it!
terrifying.
i think the poor kid looks like flubber but in yellow.
:-\
also i think think the " ropes" are the best part. the way they curl around the....necks of the.....
welll you know what i mean.
I'm mesmerized....in a sick and twisted sort of way!
www.doodlebunz.com/blog
Ummmm...this is a Dr. Suess reference.
Good grief!!!
You know there is a printer you can buy and use eatible ink. If you have no talent, at least get the right tools!!! I can't believe that they let that go out of the store.
Validation word regearr.... my point exactly!!!
Add me to "I see a fuzzy purple snail" group. Oh boy.
The horrors! Such shame.
...I am referring, of course, to the potential baby names. FritzPatrick? McTovish? Benton???
Has the cake decorator never heard of the edible rice paper??? Print the picture on the rice paper and stick it on the cake. Grrr it looks like a spaceship!
YOUCH!
Aw, c'mon, if you're not paying a gazillion dollars for a professional baker, you have no business requesting such a complicated design.
And, on the other hand, if you're not a professional baker who can command a gazillion dollars with your artistry & skill, you have no business accepting such an assignment. This decorator doesn't even have the ability to write levelly. What a waste of frosting.
Holy hell..that is pretty awful! I, for one, would not have taken that order. I wonder if the bakery purchased thee rights to reproduce a copyrighted image..oh well, never mind..that doesn't even come close to a reproduction of a licensed image...Oh, come on you decorators!! You need to know when to say "NO we can't do that!!"
word verification.first time...
eggrump
they deserve a thrown egg-to-the-rump for that monstrosity!
Lovely. My favorite thing about this cake has got to be the baby-alien's eyes and smile. (It looks like it's actually made by stray spatters from the purple alien airship.) Anyone else see this?
I think the baby-alien is looking to the left at its alien space-monitor (that orange square that's meant to be *choke* a flower), and smiling to itself over its evil plan.
New reader... I just found this blog the other day. I've already read the entire thing, though. Snarking, or reading someone else snarking (not to mention seeing other people FAIL so badly), really relieves stress.
Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow
Missed Marks may be my favorite category! Is it just me, or by not leaving some white space for the baby's diaper... have we all witnessed the first naked-babyblob/purple-snail flight? No amount of blue flowers and poor penmanship can detract from this historic occasion. This looks like a job for an edible image-transfer.
I believe the original picture is from Dr. Suess. The cake is from hell.
the initial design was a bit much for a cake, wouldn't you say?
The real question is, what name did that poor baby end up with?
Poor Dr. Seuss...little did he know something of his would be used to...umm...signal the mothership's return to earth? I really don't know what to say about that cake other than "wow".
I'd like to point out that purple, green and gold are the Mardi Gras colors. Not that that helps the cake any. :D
It's a damned shame to see Dr. Seuss abused that way.
I totally agree - no business taking such a complicated design to a regular bakery, nor did the decorator have any business agreeing to this one....
Do people really PAY for these cakes?? I'm pretty sure I would refuse to. Of course, then you don't have the fantastic picture and story for Cake Wrecks...
Poor Dr. Seuss! I hope the baby didn't end up being an alien...
I guess I'm the only one who thinks the designer did a rather decent job with it, for being by hand. A printing would have made more sense/looked the best, but it's a good attempt at a complicated drawing.
Oh girl...what in the world is that? Hehe...
"Has the cake decorator never heard of the edible rice paper??? Print the picture on the rice paper and stick it on the cake."
Beth - I couldn't agree with you more. I have a feeling that is what the customer expected them to do. You see it in grocery stores all the time.
Its sad to think that Seuss could be insulted so badly!
Why would the bakery agree to copy this design in the first place? Its one thing to request black and white kittens or a baby with balloons, but to ask for an exact Dr. Seuss image if they don't don't have a license right for it...well who knows what you're going to get. There's a reason for those books of screen prints at Dairy Queen and plastic bits that you can order from Deco Pak. People own those images and you pay a fee to use them.
Or maybe that's why its a blurry after image, but the bakery should have explained that's what they would do if that's all the closer they would do...
haha priceless.
Someone else said it...legally you can't put a copyrighted image on a cake and sell it. THese bakers would be better off refusing to do it for legal reasons rather than their inablility to reproduce the image effictively. Sooooooo....what's the best thing for a baker to do? Either refuse the order....or do something unrecognizable and when the people who ordered it come to pick it up, give them a big wink.
I personally think that the cake requester, being a fan of this blog, asked Walmart to make something complicated on purpose, just to get a wreck to send in. I just don't think she ever expected this level of wreckiness.
By the way, I just know they went with FritzPatrick. I can just feel it in my bones.
Scottish/Irish Alien babies arriving in a spaceship pulled by strange yellow birds...
Gotta love it!
Okay, all other wreckiness aside, I really hope they didn't pick Renton as a name. Really. What better start in life than to be named after a fictional Scottish junkie with a penchant for toilet-diving?
It looks like one of those Magie Eye pictures!
I also see a flying purple snail.
Maybe Mork would have been an appropriate baby name after seeing this cake...
wvotd: quenest. Must be the planet the slug is from.
That is...I'm speechless...forget the stork...bring in the aliens!
For all those who think the design is too complicated....edible images is a pretty simple process. They can churn those suckers out to look like anything or anybody...they do photos of people all the time. All they need is for the original to be in soft copy. And if the baker really needed to frost it or whatever, they could have just traced the edible image.
So that is just a horrible, out of focus, wrecktastic design that we can now all use to brighten our day :)
~Bonnie B~
A spaceship that looks like a purple snail. Interesting.
I see a chess piece on a devil ray fish chained to birds. What kind of fiendish torture is this??? Are the birds under water, or is the fish in the air? And what does the pawn have to do with anything??? If I'm reading this cake right, the poor child is going to be used heedlessly by parents who had no right to breed in the first place!
That there is the best airbrushed snail & butterflies cake ever!
This is absolutely hilarious.
Dr. Suess would be rolling over in his grave if he saw that one. YIKES!
~Amy B
Fritzpatrick? McTavish? --Renton? Jabba the Hutt Jr? Slug Blob?
Oh, the amazing "Click to Enlarge" I love seeing these failures blown up in their full glory!
But, I have to know - is it a gril?
I see people saying she was asking for a wreck by asking for a complicated design. I say, the baker's shouldn't except a design they know they can't handle. They're be less wrecks if people would just admit that they have no idea what they're doing when it comes to cakes.
sure, life would be less boring that way but they're also be fewer frustrated costumers.
E for effort, F for FAIL
Putting aside the legal question for the moment...
even my supermarkets have one of those scanner/printers that creates an edible image that could just be plopped on top of a cake
and who would walk out with a cake with that booboo on the edge?
What happened to the days of reverse transfers? Colored Gel anyone?
OK, is it just me, or do those names sound more like LAST names than FIRST? I mean, if the baby's last name (thus and therefore, baby's DADDY) is as-of-yet undisclosed, perhaps next time they should look for a cake wreck/ paternity test package deal. In mean, come on, Walmart's gotta have something like that, right? *snicker*
Amazing commentary!!
Why is the baby just a shadow of a person, a yellow shadowy person?
Someday, one CW reader is going to meet a kid named FritzPatrick and just know this was his cake.
First time commenting.... but I just had too.
I read CW everyday and this is by far my favorite.
Honestly. Who knew that snails could fly if you hooked their....eyes? to flying yellow lizards with pompoms on their tails? Much less that you could ride in them.
VW: route. A planet, star and slime studded route to life.
http://www.mainelyclare.blogspot.com
OK, after this, the Mowhawk carrot-riding babies starts to look good. At least you could tell what everything was!!! Wrecks like this make some previous wrecks not seem so bad. Still funny, of course, but maybe not as bad as we first thought. OH, NO!!!!! New category needed, When Wrecks Go Right.....
Let's be honest: she didn't go to ace of cakes. She probably went to a local bakery and paid local bakery prices.
You get what you pay for.
Um....why are those flying monkey hauling a snail carcass wrapped ameoba? Please tell me WHY?
I was rather charmed with the idea of telling the child, when it came time for the famous birds and bees talk, "Yes, the purple snail brought you...you're too special for a stork." But then I noticed that the snail is actually hauling a (gasp)giant baby bottle nipple. There's no baby there at all.
Yikes. word verification is copul.
Someone definitely did some airbrush damage with that cake. Poor McTovish.
For those commenting that the design is too complex, a friend of mine has had cakes for her birthday that recreated a) the battle of Thermopylae (sp?), b) scenes from anime, and c) a famous portrait of Mme. de Pompadour. The bakers did it by making an edible print for the cake top, which is what these bakers should have done.
Re. the image being copyrighted, I think it would only be a problem if the bakery were illegally using a copyrighted image as a regular design. I could be mistaken, but I think a single commission, not for resale but for a private party, would be considered fair use.
Word verification: luoutonc. Lunatic or luau tonic? Take your pick; either is appropriate.
Whoa.
I think "decorators" (and I am using that term loosely) should be licensed in airbrush usage. And get re-tested yearly. And if (ha! When!) you fail the test, your airbrush will be taken away from you.
Hehehe - my WV is aphall. As in "I am totally aphalled by this wreck"!!!!
Oh my...
what a tragedy.
Spaceships? Geese?
Even THATS too crazy for Dr Suess' standards.
Love your Blog, Jen! Thanks for the wrecks!
word verification: oppoingl: as in OPPOINGL! that's one awful wrecktastrophe!
That is awful! Even the handwriting sucks.
Garret
They definitely should have copied this image. Did the original requester specify the airbrush technique? Terrible!!! I would be so disappointed to have space themed baby shower.
This cake it is a horrid wreck!
Poor Dr. Seuss, to inspire such dreck!
His innocence is clear to all,
'Tis the decorator must take the fall!
I would not serve this on a plane,
I would not serve it on a train.
I would not serve it on a caboose,
I would not serve it to a moose.
I would not serve it here or there,
I would not serve it anywhere!
verification word: promoa: being in favor of moas.
I'm HOWLING !!!!!!!!!! This ALMOST surpasses the mohawk babies on veggies... ALMOST...!!!!!!!
Someone puhleeze pass the tissues! Major ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!
You know, everyone is seeing spaceships, but all I see is a pile of orange jell-o being toted by yellow griffins.
Pssst, Twisty...
Just a heads up from one friend to another... be careful what you say about moas on this site. wink
Re. the image being copyrighted, I think it would only be a problem if the bakery were illegally using a copyrighted image as a regular design.
Not to beat a nearly dead horse, but once they accept money for it, it's illegal whether they make it once or a hundred times. I worked for a large copy store chain that got sued for copyright violation - so I learned more than I ever want to know about that kind of thing :)
I've known for years that the Mother Ship was going to return for some people (including my Jerkoid Nephew), but I never knew she delivered them, too. I always thought they came in pods.
Word verification: rerine. Let's hope we never see this cake in rerines.
This is a horrible wreck. But am I the only one who thinks the writing was done with Colgate Cool Mint Gel toothpaste?
I'm just amazed how many people don't know their Dr. Seuss well enough.
I agree that it's a very complicated design; but I seem to remember watching Food Network and nowadays they have fancy edible icing sheets, upon which can be printed (with edible ink) any manner of neat designs. With that technology this design would have been a cakewalk (snicker--I couldn't help myself!).
An upscale cake place would have been able to do this...WalMart or Kroger, not so much. I would never have asked a supermarket place to do this--it makes me wonder what kind of bakery was asked to reproduce the design in question.
The colors are really unfortunate, though. No excuse for that!
I have done a few projects that I wish I'd let a professional do....but then I didn't actually sell them to anyone!
Wow. Looks like a giant purple slug.
Word verification: Sunpo. Like a depot, only for the sun.
Those birds have balls and chains attached to them, but they still manage to keep flying. Even with hauling that chariot-slug behind them.
Ok, yes, it is a "complicated" design. But it isn't SO complicated that ALL the dimensions are off, the colours wonky and the flying creatures (can't call them birds) look like they're involved in some bondage game. Uncool.
Who decided, 'yep! I can so do that!'
Shame on you Lee.
Brianna McCarthy@Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.carbonmade.com
Oh wow - now that's BAD!!
Oh I don't think any copyright was infringed here. There's not even the slightest resemblance to Seuss' original image, so....
That said, I'm fairly certain this was served at the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes baby shower. Aliens, snails, pterodactyls... Perfect for a Scientology get-together.
I see a snail! He's arriving via snail-coach (must be quite overdue) with ducks tethered alongside to hurry him along.
The question marks? Did "Welcome Baby" not cross anyones mind?
IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! IT'S A WTF?
oh. wow.
ouch.
Oh, Jen, you have such a way with words (as if the wreck weren't enough!). Thanks for the [literal] laugh. :)
HOLY HOLES IN A DONUT BATMAN! I just saw a flyin turd steal our bat saucer...
Having worked in several bakeries over the years I must say there are other methods of making a viable copy of that picture. One is an projector. Even the DQ I decorated cakes at had one. They didnt need to copy it perfectly but a simple line drawing over the smudgy airbrush would have worked just fine. I am totally offended at the HORRID printing. If you dont have nice handwriting leave the print work for someone that does.
I'm sort of hoping the choices are last or middle names. This cake wreck only lasted a few hours but to go through life as McTovish or FriztPatrick... poor kid, I can hear the taunting now.
As nasty as the cake is, those names are pretty awful as well!
So in failing so miserably at the design and execution this is actually a legal win? Whodathunkit?
I, personally, would LOVE to see how much each of these bakeries are asking for their wrecks. and how many of the wreck victims got their money back.
As soon as I saw the design I said, "Uh oh!" I recently painted a bunch of Dr. Seuss characters on my childrens' bedroom walls ...(photos are buried on my blog http://subrosa-rosamundi.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
if you wanna see them....scroll to the bottom ) and THAT was a huge undertaking. To ask it of a cheap cake decorator would be asking a LOT!
But I honestly expected a better attempt. It looks like this cake decorator threw in the towel after 5 minutes.
wait. was that our craft today in kindergarten???
I just had a Seuss/ Oh, Baby, The Places You'll Go-themed shower. I also did not have a name chosen at the time of the shower, either! I am so sad at this point that my hostesses did not request THAT cake.
Maybe next baby...
Holy. Hell.
It looks like the little msn messenger guy got eaten by a snail. The the evil msn little guy eating snail had his flying bird thingys, (Fritzpatrick, McTovish and Brenton), from the movie Heavy Metal, carry him away to his lair in the rafters of Mount Doom.
wvotd is geollm..."the sun, shinig through the shell of the snail revealed a silohuette of the noshed msn guy trapped in the snails stomach. This is known as the geollm effect."
or it's Middle Earth gel insoles. "I'm geollm like gollum."
Or they were using up the last of the teal icing from the Bules Cleuless cake. Nice recycling bakerpeoples.
---
It was a long day at work today.
You could not make this stuff up.
It looks like a snail being pulled along by the flying monkeys.
that is so cute.
I agree that the bakery never should've accepted this design because of the complexity and copyright issues. I also agree that you're asking for trouble asking a standard grocery store bakery (which is where I assume she took it) to do a design like this.
Maggie
this is one of the wreckiest wrecks you've posted in a while. i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but dang.
I'm more horrified at the possible name choices, myself.
I love it! I'm looking at CakeWrecks while my 4 year old son is eating breakfast with me (I know, there goes the mom of the year award for me). My son immediately said, "Mom, that cake looks wierd- is that right?" Ha!!!!
WOW. I agree - I think this is the wreckiest wreck to date!
Is that a 'Lost In Space' episode that I missed??
Peopl who decorate cakes simply MUST MUST MUST learn piping skills! Argh, my eyes hurt!
This may have been a design picked out from the decorator book... so maybe we should all stop commenting about the copyright thing.
Jen just said that was what they wanted and gee.. if it's in the darn book, you'd think someone would be skilled enough to make it.
As far as names... hmm... I think it's cute... as far as joking and that's what they were calling it. My cousin and his wife were calling their last child, Vladimir Nickel Iputin... they re not russian... name has absolutely nothing to do with their son... just drove his mom - my aunt- crazy for 7 months. ;o) I could see them putting that on their cake. lol
(Renton is a city near the Seattle airport... perhaps there was a hotel stay on a cancelled flight?)
wow... that's such a jaw dropper... I'm still gaping
the names!! I actually know a young man named Benton, not SO bad...but McTavish? OK, maybe they are Irish on both sides...but shouldn't that be FITZpatrick, not FRITZ...?
awesome. i love the missed marks!
ohhh...i'm laughing so hard that it physically hurts.
BaaaaaaaaaHAHAAAA! That is the most pathetic "art" I have ever seen. Well, maybe not considering I hang around here, but still...
Verification: monmens = my dudes = the guys in my life = my homies
I love this! Esp. the orange-blob baby.. aww!
What is the worst thing of all, to me, is that this cake could be salvageable with a few more steps. Using the airbrush for basic color and shape and then going in with darker icing to create the outlines and detail.
Instead, it just looks like the baker got tired half way through and figured that teal roses would make up for the complete lack of effort they put into the rest.
"Oh, I know! Teal!" I love it. :)
Hey, nothing says "baby shower" like an orange bowling pin inside a flying purple snail, am I right?
I just see a purple snail. If they weren't sure of the name, why not just say Welcome Baby boy? The person requesting the cake certainly had a hand in wrecking it.
To me, it looks like a nipple from a baby bottle, inside of a "Jetsons" car, being pulled by yellow Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.
Oh, and airbrushed by a severely nearsighted 5 year old.
Any way you look at it, I can't believe they actually let a customer see it!
Poor Theodore Geisel,
spinning in his grave
As this baker turned knave
botched his character
beyond any recognition of Mr Richter
and his shaky scale.
Oh such attempts that pale!
That we must be made to see
such baked debauchery!
The people that keep saying "it's such a complicated design" are morons. Have you never ordered a cak before? Most professional bakeries have the picture scanned onto edible paper/ink and place it on the cake. That's how you get photo cakes with the person's picture on it too. DUH. When the person went into the bakery and handed them this picture, obviously they expected that result. Who would purposely get a wreck for their sister's baby shower? How embarrassing!
Also, I highly doubt a guest at the baby shower would turn them in for using a copyrighted image... Everything seems to be some legal issue these days- it's a baby shower cake that will be EATEN, for god's sake! It's not like they are making a billboard or something...
*tilts head*
I guess this is what Mulder was really looking for all the time...
SK
It looks kinda like an alien landing.
My local supermarket bakers don't know what devil's food cake is. No, seriously--I asked for a devil's food sheet cake and got a blank stare. I tried to explain what it was and got another blank stare. All this about 50 feet away from the aisle that sold devil's food cake mix.
I would never ever ask for something this complicated from a supermarket bakery. You're just asking for grief.
I have a theory on the names: I think the actual name choices were Tavish and Patrick, and the shower hostess decided they were *so* Irish they must have a Mc or Fitz (or Fritz as the case may be) in front of them. I bet that under the smoosh was an O' or something (O'Renton).
Also, did nobody else notice that the poor snail is *bleeding*?? Oh the humanity.
wv: whianul whianot?
I hope no one had to pay for that.
Actually, no. I would have paid for it and then promptly thrown it at the decorator's head.
Hmmmmm....is it the Marlin or the Swordfish that looks like a stork?
IF storks were purple.
No matter.
But wait! Why is the Marlin /Swordfish trying to catch chickens on the wing?
Maybe it's a graphic for a new carnival ride, hence the bubble thingie bearing a little (uneasy) rider.
Ya THINK?
Now, about those NAMES...my heart says, "No!!" --but my mind is saying, "That'll be left up to the results of the multiple paternity tests..."
This is just an ugly cake no matter how much you stare at it. I'm more mystified regarding the possible names of the baby.
In Jen's defense, I think Dr. Seuss mentions a kid named "Fitz Patrick McTavish McBreem" in one of his books. If so, then it would make perfect sense, had the picture turned out correctly
I... there are no words.
there are some horrible cakes that get posted here, but I think this one is by far the worst. I just... damn.
I am honored at all the attention my submission received. The baby's name is Nolan Matthew. It was not a Walmart bakery but an EAL (English as Another Language) bakery in Federal Way, Wa. I've taken Wilton Courses I-III and could have done a better job if I wasn't planning the rest of the shower. Thank you all for your hilarious comments.
Congrats! The lucky boy has a charming name :) May his birthday cakes be Sunday Sweets and never wrecktastic!
Dude, please tell me they didn't pay for that cake!
My 4 year old son think it's awesome. The second he saw it, he said, "A dinosaur in a submarine! Cool!"
It looks like the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz have a side business of delivering babies...or stealing them...who knows?
I'm father in law of the mother. The cake was pre-paid at $59 for a quarter sheet. The bakery assured us it was no problem. The names were a joke take on a Dr. seuss theme. I picked it up the day of the shower. What could I do at that point?