Monday, November 10, 2008

Watch a Cake Being Wrecked

Monday, November 10, 2008

Lots of you are sending this in, so I figured I'd share. A few caveats first, though:

1) No, it's not professionally made.
2) Yes, I'm bending the rules by including it here on Wrecks.

Why?

A) Like the CCC, this "technique" must be stopped for the greater good.
B) It's really funny.
C) Mario Lopez in an apron! Hellooo, eye candy!




$500?!? Really? I think Wreckporter Gemma L. said it best: "If you'll fall for that then I know a Nigerian Prince who wants to talk to you."
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Anonymous said...

and I used to like Sandra Lee..WTF!?! was she thinking that is just nasty. I'd trade her places and decorate that nasty cake any day *wink,wink*

Craig said...

To be fair, pretty much any technique from Sandra Lee needs to be stopped.

Also, is it even possible to spend $400 or $500 on a cake at the grocery store?

Nicole said...

Oh my goodness. That is so tacky lookin!

Emily said...

Ugh. She makes my eyes twitch.

All Adither said...

Oh my. The WalMart smiley face would've been right at home on that cake.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Trifioso said...

omg, that was so funny! The very idea that people all over the country are running out to "discount grocery stores" to stock up on supplies to breed more of these monsters is just way too frightening. Ick.

alanna rose said...

Whoa.
Sandra Lee is her own special brand of wreck-fabulous. Have you seen the other cakes she's done? I think you may have a new category!!

Kate said...

That was horrible. I can't believe that was allowed to be aired.

Alix said...

LOL!! Did you see how Sandra Lee snatched that smiley face cookie right out of poor Mario's hand? Geez Louise, and then she says "this isn't a Wal-Mart commercial..." Could have fooled me. I usually like Sandra, but that cake is a disaster. Bleeech.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I love how she thinks that the smiley face cookie is when the cake gets over the top. I think when I heard "fancy-dancy" I knew it was pretty much over.

Deb said...

I dont think I could pay $3 for that. And poor Mario didnt even get to put his smiley face on it!

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

I've had many a fantasy that involved Mario Lopez and frosting.

Sandra Lee must be stopped, put to sleep, deported...whatever!

Meri said...

Ummm, I am pretty sure I wouldn't even pay $40 for that cake! lol

What were they thinking?!

Karyn said...

Ew. Ew, ew, ew. I think I'd almost rather talk to the Nigerian Prince.

Braeden said...

Oh, the horror! The horror!

How could the DO that?!? Much less advocate others doing it?!?

Plegh.

Kate said...

Holy EFF that is one UGLY cake!

Mel said...

How Sandra Lee. Ugh.

It seems to me, though, that Mario Lopez in an apron would be better if he were also shirtless.

Little Missy Homemaker said...

Ayyy, I wish I had something funny to say about this one but this is seriously not funny! I like to watch Semi Homemade occasionally and I've always thought she made her sweets looks elegant or cute, fun, whatever. This is just horrible, seriously horrible. To compare that mess to a $500 professional cake is just wrong! Sheesh...

Lisa said...

I've heard that Sandra Lee has an "excuses everything" poignant life-story, but this takes the cake and tosses it out the window. I DESPISE her show concept. I want to rack up Neilsen anti-points to get it off the air before something terrible hap... oh crud. Too late.

Tammy said...

I want to sell cakes to her...I could really make a profit!

Heidi Renée said...

Sandra Lee: "It looks fantastic!"

Um, no. And WHY, oh WHY, was Mario Lopez on her show?

*shaking head*

Zoe said...

"Its made with love!"

Oh. My. Gosh.

Are you suuuuuure?


Its the UGLIEST cake i've ever seen. I'd even prefer to eat that baby cake!

Anonymous said...

she's just awful

webbith said...

That's so wrong. So so SO wrong.

I guess the theory is okay, but the execution... oy.

Kimberly ~.0 said...

It could count as "techinically" professionally made. That is Sandra Lee, she does cooking for a living, and that includes cakes, right?

Ophelia said...

Oh the pain, the pain of it all! My friend is a cake decorator and would never, under any circumstances, sell a cake like this for $500, not even if she'd made the cakes from scratch. And the cookies from scratch.

Well, for all that, she'd never make a cake like this in the first place, much less sell it.

Ali said...

This is like a lesson in over-kill! Things never to do with a cake also fits...$500? I wouldn't even pay $40 for that one!

Steph said...

WOW. I think it may have ended up so horribly wrecked because she couldn't stop thinking about how a miniature Mario Lopez cookie may have looked jammed onto one of the cupcakes.

Let me know when the petition to end this alongside CCC's comes out! :)

tkangaroo said...

Wow. It is so awful, and yet I can't look away. I am stunned.

beverly hudson green said...

I think having Sandra Lee do this on a TV show can be called "professional" enough to get by your rules. I really question her sanity if she thinks that is what $500 cakes look like. Still looks like a grocery store cake to me!

Holly said...

If I have asked it once, I have asked it a thousand times, but... What the heck is Sandra Lee smoking...and where can I get some?

Sherry said...

Ha! I love "This isn't a WalMart commercial".

Courtney said...

Really $500...really??? My 3 year old could do better than that and has lol. I have created some major wrecks in my attempts to get my business going but wow oh wow i have never attempted that right there. But yummy on Mario!!!

tammy said...

I love that the smiley face was too tacky for her!

Kris said...

That, my friends, is one UGLY cake.

Anonymous said...

holy hell. i've never seen anyone so proud of their wreck.


kill it with fire!!

Etiquette Bitch said...

oh-so-ugly indeed. yecch. it looks fairly crappy, and, honestly, i wouldn't want to be the host who then has to disassemble that mess and serve up 30 pieces.

and, jen, i adore you, but Mario Lopez *eye candy*? oh, no no no.

Rachel said...

Oh wow imagine my shock... Sandra Lee makes a cake wreck! *gasp*

Everything she makes is a big food wreck. I saw her make that awful cake on her Food network show. I also saw her 'teach' us all how to make a boxed mix cake. Thanks, S.L.! The detailed instructions on the back of the box were really throwing me off, glad you cleared it up!

But dude Slater is still totally hot.

Cathy Davis said...

Wow...I'm speechless...

seeree, phd (jan 09) said...

The beauty of Semi-Homemade is all the laughing it provides because it is SO bad.

Mrs. Comet Hunter said...

Wow - that is horrible!! Who in their right mind would pay $500 for a cake that looked like that??

Anonymous said...

I like the parting comment of "..it 's made with love" kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer rebuilds Flanders house and calls it "the house that love built"

Anonymous said...

all i can picture in my head by the end of this video is the weekend update segment w/ amy poehler and seth meyers going on and on about the federal bailout; "really? are you serious? really?"

nobody does it like sandra lee.

Emily said...

I don't know what's more disturbing: the cake, or the fact that a large percentage of your blog followers watch "Extra."

Arlynn said...

This is an amazing monstrosity - I can't believe this was aired on national TV.

I'll occasionally watch Sandra Lee on FN's "Semi-Homemade Cooking" but this is a real mess. I've actually seen her create halfway decent looking deserts on her show, but this is a whole new breed of disgusting...

And poor Mario, he doesn't know any better, he isn't the professional, TV chef.

At least they didn't try to do anything crazy with fondant :)

~ Arlynn
from FleurDe-licious.blogspot.com

Kevin said...

As my daughter said, "She took $40 worth of cake and turned it into $10 worth of CRAP!"

Sasha Souza said...

I'm a wedding planner and let me tell you if my client spent $500 on a cake that looked like THAT, I'd tell them to sue. It looks like my 8 month old made it -- she should be embarassed.

rnwannabe said...

I don't know...I think my kids would absolutely adore this! And I am a fan of a well-placed sprinkle, myself. (The edible, sugar kind, that is.)

But I liked when she called Mario a big kid..."you've been a naughty boy. Birthday spanks, anyone?"

Smoochiefrog said...

And that right there is why I can't stand Sandra Lee. My God would someone please tell this woman to stay out of the kitchen?

Sarah said...

Oh Sandra Lee... is there no food you can't wreck?

Anonymous said...

As scary as the whole wreck is, possibly the scariest thing is that she said she's done this cake for weddings. Did the brides cry?

Brandon & Aimee said...

Not that I'm in love with this cake, but $40?? I'm pretty sure I could get all the supplies and do it for $20.

Space Oddities said...

hahahaha. thank you for sharing this.

April said...

"you ARE a messy little boy"

OMG, that sounded SO DIRTY!!! haha :-)

Robyn said...

Oh. Oh my. Et tu, Mario????

Justfrosting said...

My favorite line "We don't want the doggy to go POTTY on the cake"

Mmmmm. That is a nice visual.

Leslie said...

OK, I have to come clean. After watching that, I thought, that attempt wasn't very good, BUT the concept isn't so bad. I am not very good at decorating cakes. Not horrible, good enough for family, but I'm not about to offer my talents to the mass public (except for that castle cake I made, I think I did an awesome job!). But, if I took some time to plan the theme and such, a cake "technique" like that might be pretty cute. IMOHO, of course!

But I would never pay $500 for a cake like that. Heck, I'm not sure my wedding cake cost much more than that! I'm not even sure if I've paid $40 for a birthday cake from the grocery store! Maybe I'm just cheap and need to get out more.

Lesley said...

Oh my...#1: is she drunk? #2: why is this on tv? why is she trying to spread the word of making cheap cakes uglier? and #3: why would WANT to take credit for something that looks like this?? very strange indeed!

Anonymous said...

Well, I actually like some of the recipes Sandra Lee puts together...but she needs to stay away from cakes...or course she had some help in destroying that cake...wonder what it would have looked like if she did it by herself...oh well! I think she should stick to dinner recipes and stay away from cakes...oh and her "table scapes"--yuck!

Rufus Opus said...

Oh man, I am ashamed. Embarrassed. Dude. I totally thought it was a cool idea. Except for the dog. And the ladybug.

And the icing. Maybe if it was green trimmed instead of blue? I don't know. Maybe I'm... oh no. Maybe I'm... tacky.

our3qtgirlz said...

Apparently Slater has his own show now called "Extra"...who knew?...and Sandra Lee was the guest. From the Extra Website it looks like she is a regular guest--so now she is sharing her "creations" on 2 networks.

Actually, I like to watch Sandra Lee's show, but mostly because I like her decorating (home NOT cake). I like to see how she coordinates her kitchen with her cooking. :)

yousuckatcraigslist said...

That's craptacular.

tari said...

Ugh. I have a hard time just getting icing smooth sometimes, but that's just wrong. I also have difficulty seeing a circle on a rectangle like that as good to begin with. Not to mention the cupcakes sproutig fro the bottom layer...

Amy said...

omg wtf?! i can't stand sandra lee and that cake looks like a bakery threw up. and the sprinkles at the end just made it worse

check out the cake i just made for my 1year olds birthday on my blog

Shmoo said...

lol that is one fugly cake! why is she still allowed to show us her evil ways???

yellemama said...

I just don't know which was more nauseating...the final product (which was completely nauseating) or her throwing herself at Mario Lopez i.e. "You are a messy little boy!"

Renee said...

oh, that was horrible! i would be so embarrassed to "make" something like that. and forget about getting one of those.... i'd ask for new parents.

Ashley said...

What frightens me is the idea that there are probably masses of people out there who saw this and thought, "Oh my gosh! What a FABULOUS idea! I'll go get the two cakes RIGHT NOW!"

It's just comforting to know that the poor five year old whose cake massacre this will be will someday be showing birthday photos to their fiancee and saying "Yeah, I know, my mom has this thing for cupcake cakes, so I was just glad to have an actual CAKE under the cupcakes."

jj said...

I love that Mario couldn't even say "$500" at the end- he just stuck with "priceless". Kudos, Mario. Tell the truth.

Hi Kooky said...

Mr. Lopez, please step away from the cake. NOW!!

Harry's Wand Hand said...

That cake sure is 'priceless'.

OMG.

Were they being serious??!!

Kris said...

Yeah, I've seen her make that exact same cake as a wedding cake on her show.

*shudder*

Kitty said...

I would have rather they put NOTHING on that cake!! OMG how ugly does that turn out!? *puts face in hands* and they were serious which makes it even more scary....

JordanBaker said...

I'm choosing to believe that AC Slater was in on the joke; knew how horrid that cake couldn't help but be; and suggested the smiley face just to goad awful, awful Aunt Sandy.

CakeEater said...

"This isn't a Wal-mart commercial." --Well, at least she draws the Wreck-fabulous line somewhere albeit a little late!

Anonymous said...

Anything Sandra Lee does MUST BE STOPPED. This was tacky and condescending. At least she didn't say "tablescape"

Anonymous said...

In WHAT universe does that cake look like it was made by a professional? It looks like it was made by kids!

And grocery store cakes taste bad to begin with. This was a wreck from the beginning. ugh.

Melinda said...

WoW!! I could not believe that she told that dog cookie not to go potty on the cake!! Seriously?!!

I hope she was lying when she said she has done those cakes for weddings!

Man! I guess I better raise my prices on my cakes!

kansas girl said...

The cookies, in theory, could be ok. But the cupcakes? If they were iced and piped and stuck on the way the round cake is, it might be borderline ok. But as it is... are those... is that... did she LEAVE THE PAPER on them before STICKING THEM ON ANOTHER CAKE? I'm not even gonna say it. I'll just observe that of all the ways cupcakes should not be served with paper on, this is the worst yet.

Mon said...

Ughguughgugh!

How drunk does one have to be to believe THAT could be mistaken for a $400 cake?

I'm Australian - so this is first I've heard of this Sandra Lee woman, so I did a bit of googling - and it looks like any cake she's made has the right to end up here! She's insane!

sweet_firefly said...

On a positive note, I'm really liking the cookie-on-the-cupcake idea. Maybe we could promote this instead of the cup of frosting technique that's been in effect for much too long.

waxwing said...

When Cake Wrecks is funny, I love it. When it's just plain mean, it's a little sad. That's far from the ugliest cake ever, and for some people it's probably a great option. Stick to the pro cakes, please! The interaction you'd get from doing it with a child, especially if you had no skills, would indeed be "priceless".

Waxwing

Kameron said...

I'm so sad. The picture won't show up for me. I'll just have to imagine. {sigh}

stephanie said...

Now that the cake's finished, isn't it cocktail time?

Amy said...

'Twas a nice cake 'till they added those darn cupcakes.
~Amy B

Emily said...

I love how Mario didn't dare to say the cake was worth $500 like Sandra tries to claim. It sure is
"priceless"- no one would dare pay money for that.

And did my ears decieve me- does she claim to have made cakes like that for weddings????? The poor bride and groom. :(

April said...

Aw, it's made with love. And crazy.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

Wow, that is horrifying. And I agree with etiquettebitch, eye candy? I don't think so. Mario is the single most annoying (and anti-cute) man on tv for me.

I've never liked the concept of 'semi-homemade'. Either buy it, or take the time to make it! Semi homemade makes me feel sullied somehow.

Corinne said...

This wasn't semi homemade. It's not even a semi cake. The only "semi" that should be involved is a semi running over.

grey said...

The awesome thing is that it's only going to be MORE of a wreck in a few hours. When you just take one soft, spongy grocery-store cake and "plop it right on top" of another with no structural support(no, a cake board by itself will not prevent collapse), guess what?

In a couple of hours you're going to have a cake with bulging sides, a lumpy top and a giant crater where that round cake is sitting... and those cupcakes, tacky cookies and cereal 'sprinkles' will STILL BE THERE to add to the mess.

I too have seen her use this 'technique' on Food Network. This woman must be stopped!

iz said...

At first I thought she said "This is 40-dollar cake and we're going to make it look like a 5-dollar cake!".

I thought she was doing a good job of it, until I read the comments and went back to the beginnig to hear it again! a $500 cake?? WTF?

Deborah Godin said...

I see someone else also thinks that Mario in his apron sans shirt would have been better - oh yeah. As for the cake, I wouldn't want it if someone paid ME the $500 - gak!

Anonymous said...

The thing I hate most about Sandra Lee is how she instructs like her viewers are in kindergarten. She makes the easiest things, like lipton onion soup mix dip and packaged pudding. But she talks down to us like we won't get it unless she talks slowly. Her show is the biggest disappointment from the Food Network. Also, has anyone caught the end of her show? She features a cocktail in ever show, I think she is a big lush. It would explain this cake, thats for sure.

This cake is ridiculous. Made with love? I would never serve that to anyone I love. I guess this is the cake for the raging alcoholic who spent the afternoon boozing and needs to look like she still has it together before the kids' party begins.

~Angela (mommylawyer) said...

Not $500. More like two $10 cakes stuck together with cupcakes, cookies and sprinkles scattered about. I'm sure it tastes about as good as it looks. Yuck!

Landry said...

It's like a car accident on the highway: So terrible and devastating, but you can't look away.

Dea said...

Not to mention - who that "has so little time" can get the basic icing for the first 2 layers can get them to even remotely look like that? And $500? WTF is she smoking?? Seriously - for $40 I could go to the little bakery down the street, and have a REALLY tasty cake, done nicely, that would feed 15 people....she's spent too much time either on Mars, or in Hollywood....

I think Mario was like, this is so tacky, let's just go ALL the way, let's jump in with both feet and go hog wild with the tacky! LOL!

Hyperbole Girl said...

Holyyy cowwww. That cake is so ugly! Exactly how does that look anything like an expensive or professionally done cake? Very tacky.

I agree with her that it would be a fun project to do with kids. Her cake LOOKS like it was made by children.

Amie said...

1) Drawing the line at the smiley face = awesome.

2) Renaming sprinkles "embellishments" *really* classes it up.

Anonymous said...

"It's made with love."

That is some ugly love, Sandra Lee.

Rachel

*~*Lis*~* said...

While it looks like fun for my 2 year old I don't think I'd pay $500 for it! On second thought I don't think I'd pay $5 for it!

outspokenandunderpaid said...

I am so disappointed. After reading the title for today's post I thought we were going to witness the actual wrecking a.k.a. smashing/destroying/demolishing of a cake. Wait, I got it...can we witness the destruction of the cake you featured? That would be fun! And literally wrecktastic!!

-Tanzie

Susanna said...

Sandra Lee is sort of technically a professional, since she does get paid to show people how to make hideous, ridiculous cakes on her TV show.

Have you seen her infamous Kwanzaa cake? Now there's a wreck!

Heather said...

Oh Sandra, Sandra, Sandra.... *shakes head*.

Although, I do think kids (girls mostly) would have fun doing that. But I wouldn't start with a $40 cake....

Mom O'Teens said...

And the fourth reason it had to be shared - it's Sandra Lee! The Queen of Cake Wreck Hell.

The Fabulous Ms. Beth said...

priceless in deed.. :)

Doody Mac said...

It's Sandra Lee... need we say anymore? Very fitting that she's on a site dedicated to "wrecks." Hahaha!

Gooberfishbowl said...

Love = not bothering to cook, icing, spend money, or spend time.

I do not want your love, sister.

I'm not watching that video again, but did she say she's made this cake for weddings?

Kat said...

Doesn't she know the grocery store stocks ready made flowers and other fun already made icing decorations that would look way better then those cookies?

The cupcakes....I'm still speechless on that one.

LeMira said...

Priceless?! Of course, because no one would buy it!

Briana said...

that woman is in love with mario "you are a messy little boy, arent you? you are a dirty little boy, yeah! and you need to be punished!"

that cake looks mentally ill...

Mary said...

Wow. It's hard for me to believe they actually aired that. But then again Mario Lopez was nice and distracting (but still not enough for that monster!)

Denise said...

That TOTALLY looks like a $500 cake now!..........


Bwahahahahah! Even I can't say it with a straight face.

joyce said...

Oh, goodie. Now that there is a video, I can submit it to Brietbart TV !! Whoo-who ! Thanks, Joyce from Texas

Anonymous said...

That is butt ugly! Are they serious, they HAVE to know that's tacky, right?!

Rana said...

Semi-Homemade (or "Semi-Ho") is one of those trainwreck shows you watch peeking out between your fingers, and feeling faintly dirty afterwards.

So I'm not at all surprised at this cake - it's perfect for the show. I think the basic concept works... but then she kept going. It's like her "tablescapes" - why stop at some nice plates and glasses when you can add flowers AND candles AND glass beads AND fruit AND ribbons AND....

A lot of her stuff also involves far more work and money than making it from scratch would.

Cirrus said...

I can't stand Sandra Lee as it is....and ewww. Just plain ewwww. Even with Mario in an apron, still ewwwww.

Kerry said...

Oh, what do you expect from Sandra Lee? Everything she does is f'ing ridiculous.

Etiquette Bitch said...

"Not that I'm in love with this cake, but $40?? I'm pretty sure I could get all the supplies and do it for $20."


...I agree. I sense a name-that-tune-esque challenge coming up -- I'd like to see fellow wreckporters re-create this disaster, and who can do it the cheapest? "I can wreck that cake in $20..." "I can wreck that cake in $15...." etc. "Wreck that cake!"

Trevor said...

Someone posted this on another site recently, and I was appalled I've always hated Sandra Lee, and now I have even more reason to do so. Hell, I"M more deserving a show on Food Network than she is.

Twistie said...

Did anyone else see that Christmas special Sandra Lee did a while back where she did the dipsomaniac's Christmas tree entirely decorated in barware with the giant martini glass full of Tidy-Bowl blue cocktail?

I think she's been drinking the tree topper again.

Poetikat said...

I amazed she actually did that bit with a straight face. She must be on some serious antidepressants to think anyone would be "lucky" to have that cake. Mario - give this to your girlfriend and mark my words, she won't be for very long.

I'm hoping he and his lady got "busy" in the kitchen and didn't bother to move the cake.

Kat

sues2u2 said...

So I'll agree w/ the priceless part. Who'd want to have a cake that is so bad as to be "priceless"?!

Cindy said...

Funny thing is, it uses some of the ideas of the Strawberry Shortcake cake in yesterday's Sunday Sweets entry... and yet, the Strawberry cake is about 1000 times cuter. Perhaps it comes from knowing that less is more?

For a kids' party, I could see letting the birthday girl or boy do something similar... but just one cake, no extraneous cupcakes, and a small number of cookies (and perhaps sprinkles) that actually look like they belong together, y'know? That could be cute. This is not cute.

Brittany said...

To be fair, at the end of the video she said that this particular cake would be 90 dollars in the grocery store, not 500. The 500 dollars was just to point out that you could spend that much on a cake... even if it wasn't really relevant to the cake she was "making."

Although 90 dollars would still be outrageous for this cake - I wouldn't compare it to saving money like she's doing.. it would be better to only emphasize it as being fun for kids.

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

I CAN'T STAND Sandra Lee. Homemade is usually much cheaper, and easier, and more nutricious! Seriously, how much is a cake mix. 88 cents? Really. Somebody stop her!

Derek said...

Hurrrrrl. If someone gave me that cake, I'd either cry, or smash it violently, depending on my mood. Possibly both, actually.

Anonymous said...

That was hideous! $500 where. I'm moving there and dh can be the stay at home parent. wow!

I'm Losing It! said...

Who in their right mind would pay $40 for that cake, let alone $400?

Did she say she does this for wedding cakes??? If you're going to spend the money to buy all that crap to decorate your own cake...STOP and let a professional do the cake for you.

Nancy D. said...

I don't think we paid $500 for our wedding cake. So no. I wouldn't pay $500 for that cake. Or any other cake that didn't have to feed 500 guests.

But for something HOMEMADE? That is fun for the kids to make and YEA... it's made with love?

It's fine.

It isn't something that is being sold to others. It's something you do for your kid's birthday party or something. You have to have a bunch of cake and you get two plain cakes and ELIMINATE the possibility of a wreck and it's more than just the frosting flowers and "Happy Birthday" type cake.

My family would love it. My teens would enjoy the making.

And I'll just have a cookie, thanks.

The Barnes Crew said...

Sandra Lee is a wreck in and of itself...most of the stuff she comes up with is out of control and in your words "wrecktastic"!!

Anonymous said...

Enough has been said about the wrecktastic looks of this monstrosity. Can we please move on to the taste? Those cookies are nasty and inedible and as hard as a goat's knee...if you served that cake at a kid's birthday party, they'd be flinging those cookies like Chinese stars. You could put an eye out with those things.

Anonymous said...

YES!! Add more to the anti-SL team! One of the best of her wrecks is her "Kwanzaa Celebration Cake." I would say it epitomizes all that Ms. Lee is. I was "lucky" enough to catch that episode - I had a visceral reaction of disbelief. I can't seem to find it on the FN site now...(wonder why) but here's another who can give you a pretty good account of the disaster:
http://randomaccessbabble.com/2006/11/sandra-lee-is-foods-natural-enemy.html

and as previously posted, semi-homemade shouldn't be 90% store-bought and 100% slopped together.

yuck

-bg

Carey said...

Can I just point out that by the time you pay for a sheet cake, a round cake, sprinkles, cupcakes, and professionally decorated cookies...you could buy a NICELY decorated bakery cake for the same price if not less. She's so clueless...she should stick with making cocktails. And quit drinking them before trying to come up with cake decorating ideas...

thephrog said...

All I can say after watching that is Oh. My. God. (!!)

I think the idea was good, the execution - not so much. A cake like that, the rectangle and round only, with fresh flowers on it might be nice. Maybe a figurine on top or something. I think that's the best you could get out of it, though. Anyone wanna prove me wrong? lol

HuianaSukari said...

I don't hate it, its what I have planned for my sons 8th birthday. Granted, I figured he and his friends would decorate it, and it would likely look like that.

What's Her Face said...

The worst part for me was that the first cupcake on the left (my left their right) never got a flower cookie. It bugged me the whole time and I barely had time to be disturbed by the sprinkles because I kept waiting for the last flower cookie!

Lauren said...

I love Sandra Lee...but that is the worst cake ever. A great idea if you're going to let your kids decorate it (something for the guests to do at the party maybe?) But never would I make that cake and take credit for it...

Molly said...

I already disliked Sandra Lee - She always finds time to make an elaborate cocktail and 'tablescape', but then throws together meals similar to this cake - Ok, take a rotisserie chicken, cut it up, put it on a pre-made salad. That's an ok meal, but that -isn't- cooking. Sheesh.

Ryan Owens said...

I always knew Sandra Lee was the anti-christ...

Jules Someone said...

That was just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Marissa said...

Talk about a tacky cake!

RooManda said...

What the crap?
She made a $10 cake look like a candy factory war, and it made my teeth hurt! How sad for the birthday girl!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I may have nightmares.

Robin said...

::twitch::

I... I just...

There are no words for how awful that is.

I haven't been able to stand Sandra Lee ever since I saw her claim that putting frozen berries inside a pre-made pie crust with a cookie cutter "lattice top" (not strips of dough, packaged crust that she stamped with a plastic thing) was in any way "homemade".

I may have an unhealthy loathing for packaged pie crust.

But this "beautiful" cake? No.

::twitch::

MaryO said...

This is the FIRST time I've felt sorry for the CAKE !!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Never knew who she was until today, never heard of her and probably will never watch her so I can't say I 'hate' her as so many here seem to do. But the concept is skewed, if it's to save time. Driving to the store and buying the cakes alone - by then I could have made even from-scratch cake at home. Never mind what the cake supports & cookies cost.

But were those...Fruity Pebbles...they sprinkled on the cake....?

The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...

Mario Lopez is like the stale candy corn of eye candy. Only a few people will admit to actually eating it. Oh, snap.

Anonymous said...

Grocery store cakes being tasty? FAIL.
Grocery store iced cookies? FAIL.

Put them together, DOUBLE FAIL.

Hollee said...

If that is the future of cake decorating...heavens help us.

Femaleclaws said...

I think the cake UNdecorated looked better. Sticking tacky cookies (I believe I saw green flowers. wth.) on anything isn't going to make it look fabulous.

Emily said...

Oh my god...
That was the worst semi-homemade creation I've ever seen

j. applebee said...

"It's made with love."

Er, no. It's made with awful, crappy plastic-looking edibles.

If anyone wants to copy this cake, I suggest you take your money and spend it on anti-depressants instead -- you know, something that will alter your mood so you won't be completely hyperactive about a pathetic cake.

Missie said...

OMG this is by far one of the most ugly monstrosities to ever hit cake wrecks, not to mention it was aired on National TV? Do they not screen the content before airing these shows? Mario or no Mario, you can't make this cake look any better than the mess it is. An the "embellishments"?! YIKES.

JHE said...

OK..This is something I might have my Girl Scout Daisies do for themselves, but to serve it to guests...I'd rather serve one of my sloppy looking homemade wrecks. At least it would taste better then discount store cake and those icky frosted cookies.

Colleen said...

This is so disturbing for so many reasons. Thanks for making me smile and convulse in the same post...

Karin said...

okay, my kids would LOVE that cake and have so much fun making it but there's no way that I would ever spend $500 on it (heck, I wouldn't spend $50 on it). I only spent $350 on my {very yummy} 3 tier wedding cake that was personalized and delivered and I thought that was extravagant.

Skittl1321 said...

Which technique needs to go away- the stacking cupcakes onto cakes, or the using cookies to decorate cakes? Because the cake in the Sunday post as a "good" example- used cookies to decorate it (though it was truly "good" while this was a wreck, without a doubt)

As for professional- Sandra Lee bills herself as one, though not a professional baker- but it's most definetly not a "made at home" cake- so I don't think you are breaking your own rules at all

Tracey said...

Wha???? I am almost as confused as Mario looked. Poor guy. Can you imagine having to endorse an idea like that?

Either buy a cake or make your own. Do not buy cheap cakes and then take the time to make a huge mess of them and then? When you're done? Have an ugly cake wreck to show for it.

Oy.

lynne said...

That's craptastic.

Can't stand Sandra Lee! If THAT looks like a $500 cake, I need to go into the cake biz.

Threeundertwo said...

I love this site, not only for the horrors on display, but for the witty commenters.

Totally entertaining.

DotC said...

we call her semi-half assed. and you dont even get to see Mario with his shirt off. just a bunch of fail

Tabitha said...

The bf and I played Guess The Drug. We're betting on Xanax or some other prescription blackjack. And seriously, she didn't want to shill for Walmart, but didn't mind paraphrasing a Mastercard advert? Yecch.

Leslie said...

@yellemama - Glad I wasn't the only one that was creeped out by her obvious attempts at flirtation.
And she should've let the poor guy put that smiley face cookie on there! It think it may have improved on things.

Leslie said...

That as a wedding cake?! You've got to be kidding me.

Karin said...

okay, I've never heard of Sandra Lee before so this was new. I have to admit that *I* do 80% of my meals "semi-homemade" (parties are closer to 100%) but that's just me doing it. If I knew I could make money out of it, I would have pitched it to Food Network 7 years ago when I quit my job to stay at home with my daughter (today is actually the anniversary of my first jobless day - my daughter was born Monday, Nov 12, 2001 and my last day was Nov 9 - so this is timely).

Knitty said...

While I don't find the cake at all attractive, I don't understand the hateful remarks about Sandra Lee. If you don't like her, don't watch her show. For people who have no idea how to put a meal together, and there are plenty today who eat predominantly from drive through fast food or pizza delivery, she shows them a way of putting meals together that aren't intimidating.

I'd love to know how many of the holier-than-thou foodies on some of the food forums really cook from scratch and how many only turn up the heat on their hateful posts.

alicia said...

lol @ the sandra lee cake wreck category!

Ms. Findlay-Lampkin said...

Klassy! No, this isn't a Wal-Mart ad...Wal-Mart is too high-end for that monstrosity.

Nicole said...

That cake does NOT look fantastic.. and I would not even pay $40 for it!! What are they thinking?!?

But Mario Lopez IS great eye candy..

Roxy said...

Oh, God...that was just painful to watch, all around. And I wouldn't spend a cent on that cake, let alone the $40 that Sandra thinks necessary to make it.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if anyone has said this already (there are too many comments to read), but if you type &rel=0 twice in the embed code (after the number 1, before the quotation marks) from YouTube videos, those thumbnails won't come up. Just an FYI. You can look it up on YouTube help if you want.

Kim in saratoga said...

Because of course, the SMILEY FACE would have wrecked it.

Lucy said...

Okay, really?? Meep.

Admittedly, the Sunday Sweets from this week does feature cookies on a cake, but they look CLASSY.

Talia Davis - PR Director said...

Okay A#1 - Mario Lopez is not a busy mom

B#2 - He is HOT eye candy.

C#3 - Mario will NEVER be making a cake for me or any party I am throwing (but he can show up in an apron... only an apron...)

and finally

D#4 - EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! That is the tackiest, ugliest cake. I would rather have the x-rated mom birthing a body-less baby cake... At least people wouldn't think you were uber tacky, just an exhibitionist.

Cake Wrecks makes my day compelete

Peachy said...

I feel dumber

Scritzy said...

It looks like the sprinkle fairy threw up on it. Yikes.

Jolly Johnstons said...

Mmm, tackylicious.

heartafire said...

Scary scary scary....
Especially hooted at her comment to the little cookie dog: "Now, don't you go potty on my cake."

I don't see how she could have stopped him.

Kierra said...

that has to be one of the ugliest cakes ever

Anonymous said...

I wonder - do you give out "worst cake" awards? This one would be the very worst I've ever ever seen.

Brian said...

That was pretty painful to watch....

I need to go flush my eyes now, I think.

Amy said...

Ok that cake has to be the ugliest thing I have seen in a long time. I do think it could be turned in to a fun idea for a kids party. But not just plopping a round cake in the middle of a sheet cake. I am thinking like my girls make their own cake so the wreck would be kid-made and fun. Not a grownup with no taste disaster.

lauren said...

As soon as I saw the still I knew it was Sandra Lee of Semi-Ho infamy. I don't understand how this is cheap in anything but concept: two store-bought cakes, a bunch of store-bought cupcakes and a case of store-bought cookies? That adds up.

And would you believe she's made several incarnations of this travesty--including one she tried to pass off as a wedding cake?! That's classy with a capital K.

ros said...

Semi-Homemade is the reason I left America.

Kind of.

Tara MacDonald said...

If I spent $500 and the cake ended up looking like that, i'd be PISSED! My beautiful 4-tiered wedding cake was delicious and came from a reputable baker and I didn't even spend $250 on it. This woman must be on meds...

Chandler said...

semi-homemade! simply horrid

Tanya said...

Okay, if you're making this for your 5-year old's birthday, then fine. This could be a good option.

However, to compare this to a $500 professionally made cake is just wrong.

I absolutely LOVE though how she goes on about how you can buy the cakes/cupcakes at a discount supermarket and then tells Mario when he picks up the smiley face cookie that "this isn't a Wal-Mart commercial."

And please...the smiley-face cookie is where you draw the line? Before bringing out the huge plate of multi-colored sprinkles?

Anonymous said...

Poor Sandra was drunk-again. Mario knew it wasn't worth $500, too. He kept saying "priceless". LOL He knew that cake was a burning hot MESS!

Anonymous said...

HILARIOUS!! If you thought this sandra lee wreck was the worst, three words:
Kwanzaa Celebration Cake.
Imagine: angel food cake + taupe brown icing + *apple pie filling!!* in the center (wait, there's more) + corn nuts(yes, corn nuts!) + pumpkin seeds (yes, angel food cake, corn nuts, *and* pumpkin seeds!) + finally, HUGE taper candles. No, not normal sized candles that would fit in or on a cake, but HUGE candles that need real candlestick holders to stand up for safety sake!
Google for pics!

Minnie

Anonymous said...

http://heartsfordinner.wordpress.com/2008/09/20/heart-nibblers-top-10-sandra-lee-cake-wrecks/

Alexis said...

Oh Sandra Lee you are so letting me down! You do these beautiful tablescapes and make dinners so fast and easy. Plus your from WA state so I totally loved you. But today is the day that I think we must part ways, this is just too much for me to handle. I'm sorry Sandra today you get a Dear Jane letter :).

Achillies' mom said...

If I made that cake, I don't think I'd "take the credit". I'd let everyone think my 3 year old did it because it looks like it was done by a preschooler.

rhymeswithcori said...

This lends to the theory that Sandra Lee is an alcoholic.

That, and how her eyes light up like it's Christmas morning when she says that it's "cocktail time!"

Donna said...

OMW, she said she does this for weddings?

As my pastor says...."Hyelp us!" (yes, include the 'y' in pronouncing help)

Anonymous said...

I love how she's trying to do her best to stick to a "theme" cake and is sort of rolling with the first couple of "garden" choices, and he's all "a dog! a smiley-face!"

Le chat bleue said...

I love your blog. This is the iceing on the cake. Help that there a nice guy next to her.

Keep up the great work

Nadia

Darla said...

Technique? Travesty, more like.

Anonymous said...

That really was "priceless."

Brandi said...

Alarming yes, but I feel bad to see everyone dissing Sandra Lee. I don't like her show, I find it pretty boring, but if you ever watch her biography that they played on Food Network, she is a very inspiring person. I have the utmost respect for her because she has worked hard to literally come from nothing in life to make herself a well known personality. So, while I think that is horrible, and definitely a self made wreck, don't diss Sandra Lee.. she appeals to a certain demographic and she's worked hard to have the success she has. :(

It's okay, I still like you Sandra Lee!

lawnajo said...

It looks to me like the icing on the cupcakes is a different color than the icing on the other cakes.
This was hilarious, thanks!

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