Saturday, November 22, 2008

Turkey Turkey GOOSE

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Anytime you see something vaguely bird-like in a bakery this time of year, I guess you have to assume it's supposed to be a turkey. These guys found by Shelley L., however, are plopped somewhere along the line between a bat and a melting chicken:


Now, I must admit: at first glance I thought they were kind of cute. Then I realized that the 4 guys in the middle are smoking cigarettes - now what kind of an example is that? Plus, they're all being goosed by what must be uncommonly sharp candy corns: hellooo! cruelty to batty bird creatures! Not cool, man. Not cool.

Here are some other cupcake creations riding that cute/wtf? line:


Ok, yes, they're round and have googly eyes, and therefore I must love them. However, what the heck are they made of? Is that really solid icing? Please, Michele L., tell me that's not solid icing! What'd they do, ice the things with an ice cream scoop?
Anonymous said...

Today's post gave me a major sugar rush! That's a lot of icing and candy corn...

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Obviously, Jen, you are not a Food Network devotee...how do you think we get smoked turkey?

and...

Please, Michele L., tell me that IS solid icing!!!

Maria said...

i kinda wanna take the first ones home and nurse them back to health or rehabilitate them or something. they have obviously been huffing the fumes from the post-pumpkin-pie empty reddi whip cans, and could still be properly reintroduced to society after a long, hard detox. and a few chantix for the smokers in the middle.

the others... i thought they were nilla wafers at first glance and thought "well, that's kind of oroginal, i suppose", then upon clicking saw the spherical icing. now i can only hear homer simpson saying "mmmmm... brown balls of frosssstiiinng *drool sound*" when i look at them.

Karin said...

are those BAT wings left over from Halloween??

Anonymous said...

I think those are upright cookies on the second photo. I think those are cuter than the little piles o' poop with eyes in the first pic.

Vashti said...

amazing! the first ones look like flying dog poop with eyes, and yet are kinda cute, whats up with that?

mickiecake said...

Yup. Ice cream scoop. My favorite icing tool.

babs said...

I would love to serve demented looking turkey cupcakes at my Thanksgiving feast!

BTW - just discovered this blog last night and laughed so hard I had to walk away from the computer!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I knew eventually someone would make a turducken cake.

Mandee said...

I do think todays turkeys are much cuter than yesterdays!!! The first ones are pretty sad, but do not resemble electrified squirrils!! tee hee

Alix said...

Could the "icing" in the bottom photo be some kind of chocolate mousse type situation? It definitely looks scooped, I'll give you that.

Keep the cute/wtf's coming, or I'll have to go back on Prozac.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com

Deborah Godin said...

I hate to sound like a party-pooper but - I don't think every holiday is necessarily cake-worthy...

All Adither said...

I'd eat 'em!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Persnickety Ticker said...

Let's hope on that last one that those are scoops of a mousse or something. It definitely isn't an upright cookie.

My sugary senses are tingling and telling me that is precisely a scoop of icing on that cupcake.

I think I am going into a diabetic coma just looking at it.

Nissa said...

I think the second ones look more like turkey butts than turkey fronts. Big, smiling turkey butts.

Again with the drooling Homer Simpson, "Mmmm, Turkey Butts...."

Anonymous said...

the second ones would make really cute ice cream cupcakes! must experiment today!

A Paperback Writer said...

I believe the turkey cupcakes in photo #2 are a fine example of what happens when you make frosting out of Crisco and cocoa powder......

mizzie said...

I know it's not, I HOPE it's not, but I think it looks like a meatball. Yuck! :-P

It doesn't LOOK yummy, in any case...

sophanne said...

I'm saying that the bat wings are actually moose antlers preparing to disguise themselves during hunting season

Could have been a moose and mousse post dontchya know.

Alexander said...

The first ones all look okay, except for that poor guy in the front on the left. Looks like he ate too much stuffing.

And in the bottom one, I'd agree that it looks like a scoop mousse. It can't be a cookie because the candy corn is sticking into it.

They look magically delicious, though. But seriously, between all the pie, who the hell would have room for cupcakes or cake at Thanksgiving?

Becky B said...

I think that is exactly how it happened--chocolate buttercream icing scooped right on those suckers. Unfortunately for my waistline, however, I have no issues with large amts of chocolate icing. The thicker the better. :)

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha those DO look like turkey butts!! Maybe they're wearing smiling bloomers.

Anirudh said...

Awesome blog ! Thats why it's become a blog of note!

Amy said...

I thought this was so funny. I saw your link on another blog and thought I'd start reading it. I read the latest post and thought it was funny. Thanks for sharing.

fenrislorsrai said...

I believe thosse first ones are actually tiny little Cthulhus.

Don't be fooled by their brown coloring. They're little tiny Great Old Ones.

Julianne said...

Awww, I kinda like the first ones, in a big brown blob kinda way :P

The second ones .. wow. I mean, I looooove me some icing, but just .. wow!

April said...

The ones in the first picture look like Mister Potatohead. Does the one on the left have a mustache?

violanut said...

This is Michele, and yes, yes that IS solid icing...just ups the ick factor doesn't it?

curdiemer said...

note to self: never check cake wrecks while holding a sleeping baby unless one wants to wake said baby with laughter

An Apron Straitjacket said...

Those little bat-chickens are proof that we should not be messing around with genetics! It's a signs folks, take heed! :)

jackie31337 said...

A Paperback Writer said I believe the turkey cupcakes in photo #2 are a fine example of what happens when you make frosting out of Crisco and cocoa powder......

Wait, you mean you don't make your frosting that way?

Word verification: stoplogi. I don't know who logi is (perhaps one of these decorators?), but he or she must be stopped.

ksaldria said...

I like the first batch. They're all plumped up for Thanksgiving.

RooManda said...

It's called "Quick, use up all the leftover Halloween candy on these Thanksgiving cupcakes before Santa sees it!"

Some bakery counters should have a local dentists business card taped right on the cake box.

kcsmom76 said...

The second one looks like the turkeys neck is being pulled out of it behind!!! EEK!!!

Marji said...

I'm with Nissa, those are turkey butts smiling at me.

May said...

i can always count on your blog to give me a laugh or pick me up. that's exactly what i thought today, "i need a good laugh. let's go check Cake Wrecks now." THANK YOU!

Cindy said...

My husband insists the back one in the left column of the first picture is a walrus. A winged walrus.

Kenya Starflight said...

I'm going into a sugar coma just looking at those things... *shakes head*

Flartus said...

TURKEY BUTTS!

TURKEY BUTTS!

TURKEY BUTTS!

TURKEY BUTTS!

I have so much fun here on Cakewrecks! :)

KayƩ said...

Those look like truffles at the bottom. Lol! Maybe even mousse.

J. said...

While I agree with you on the second batch featured (where did the turkeys' heads go?!), I thought the first set/photo of turkey cupcakes to be downright cute. (And I loved the "smoked turkey" comment.)

And the candy corns, wiseguys, as you well know, are turkey feathers. All in all, I found the first turkey cupcakes to be a Cake Success, not a Wreck.

Melissa said...

It's my birthday today and I've been waiting to check to see what cake wreck was on my birthday :D Thanks! lol

Calantha said...

What the heck are those yellow things hanging from the turkeys' beaks in picture #1 supposed to be anyway?

#2 is what happens when you drop a plump, farm-bred turkey onto concrete from the top of a 5-story building. No idea why they'd all be smiling about it though.

And, SOLID icing? I can feel my teeth rotting just thinking about it!

Amanda Mitchell said...

The second ones look like a scoop of tuna salad to me - I 'd rather it be the icing!

Hall Monitor said...

I think those cupcakes would scare the crap out of little kids.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

cute....if it were a kindergarten lets decorate a cupcake project.... not so much for something being sold by a "professional"

Liz said...

Actually, it looks like someone drew faces on turkey bottoms....

mangaeater said...

Curse of the melting bat chickens! Makes me feel bad for them.....tell me that stuff is NOT icing!

Nichole said...

I so agree with Nissa! I thought the second picture looked like turkey butts too!

Jennifer said...

I love those cupcakes! WOW!
Candy Corn is one of my favorites :) I am a brand new reader of your blog and can't wait to check out more...

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else consider that the "feathers" on the second batch look like rotten, yellowed teeth? Teeth, in fact, that fell out of previous customers' mouths when they attempted to eat a solid ball of icing?

- Cheryl

Havocec said...

Mmmmm solid icing... my favorite. The cakes are kinda cute, even the turds with wings.

wvotd..bersing "after I eat a whole can of Betty Crocker icing I'll be bersing at the seams"

Anonymous said...

According to my 4 year old, and I quote, "Those turkeys have faces on their bums!"

Casey said...

WHAT ARE THEY!?

Meghan said...

Is it just me, or are turkeys a prime target for Cupcake Cakes?

Tobias said...

This aren't too bad... but next to the electrified squrriels how can melting chicken-bats hope to compare? I'm hoping to make a couple of extra dollars in the next fews weeks and I can only hope I'll manage to pick of some of my local store's newest wrecks... they've got something that looks like two brown blobs with gunshot splatter coming out of the back that is suppose to be a turkey... and they've gotten really into making these bizzare cyclops cupcake creations that I can't even explain.

Crazy Raven Productions said...

You say "tell me that's not solid icing" like it's a bad thing. Yay for solid buttercream turkeys!!! Mmmmsugarbuzzzzzz

Glory von Hathor said...

We don't have candy corn, or Thanksgiving for that matter, in the UK.

The smoking bat cakes get extra points for trying to reproduce in icing that disgusting piece of flappy red flesh hanging off the Turkey's beak, which I believe is called a snood.

asillylittlegirl said...

Turkey cupcakes from the funny farm!

If in the top pic the four guys in the middle are smoking cigarettes, the guy on the front left side has a big old stogie in his beak. They look like whole turkey lettuce wraps.

Sleepwalker said...

At about the same time my eyeballs were registering greasy spheres of industrial shortening-based frosting, my brain processed your text. Yep! I'd say your guess was spot on. I'm horrified at the same time imagining exactly how it would feel/taste. And *hides face* liking it.

word verification: unruc

'Eating those cupcakes would cause me to need to unruc my pants'

writtenwyrdd said...

That first batch looks like it has moose antlers!

One Crazy Mom said...

My husband says the first ones look like vampires. hahahaha,

2bootz2slipperz12pawz said...

I'd be all over that scoop of icing. Srsly.

Last night we hit the grocery store for emergency supplies (cat litter and wine) and I had to peruse the cake case. My husband snarked that I just had Tiramisu at dinner and I barked back that I wasn't buying a cake I was looking for something for Cake Wreck! Nothing too wrecktastic except everything was really pastel overload considering it's fall and all.

Oh and a TIP for wreckporters. Most grocery bakeries don't have staff after certain hours for the night. Easy peasy photo timez!

Flaim said...

Please tell me that IS solid icing. Yummy!

T. said...

Plus. If you had a kid who likes to pick off all the eyes, candy parts first, you'd be left... with what looks like a steaming pile of poop.

Ms Ashley said...

What's the with eyes!? Are they Turkeys with the Bird Flu or something?

Syndi said...

perhaps a "cake ball", the latest trend for showers, etc.

heather said...

in the interest of fully understanding what, exactly, we're looking at...i think the ones in the first photo are NOT smoking, i think they've got candy corn for beaks, and the white tip makes it LOOK like smoking. plus the flappy snood thing mentioned already.

bernthis said...

I'm so much of cake lover that i'd eat any of these. Now, I might have my eyes closed when I do it, but I'm still eating my piece.

Ali said...

I'm just convincing myself it isn't solid icing but chocolate-chocolate ice cream.

DK said...

Personally, I would love an ice cream scoop of icing. With or without the candy corn. :-)

mommadog said...

I must see to much poop (I have several dogs) because just about all of them look like poo to me..LOL.. and yep, that was done with an ice cream scoop..disgusting... Also, I have never heard of a CCC before now, and i have never seen one here at any store..shrug

Noah said...

Vampire Turkeys, attack!!

Cupcakes Lady said...

Ha it does look like someone drew faces on turkey bottoms. ;) xx