Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

What is it with monkey cupcake cakes? Bad enough that it's a cupcake cake, but then to try and make a monkey out of it? (Heh: "make a monkey out of it". I guess that's not so hard, eh? Eh?) Asking for a cute monkey CCC seems destined to failure, if you ask me.

Case in point: here's what reader Alexis P. wanted for her son Caden's 1st birthday:


Which is sort of cute, but not really; the swirl cupcakes make it look like Mr. Monkey has see-through arms and legs. That isn't the Wreck, though...

This is:


Yikes.

I can't decide if this is a monkey at a stick-up who just soiled himself (an unfortunate effect of not outlining the "tail"), or if he's another steamroller victim. Or, given that expression, I suppose he could be on some Amazon torture rack - I mean, those arms and legs are rather long...

But wait! There's more!

Aren't you curious what the birthday boy thought of his cake? Because fortunately for us Alexis captured little Caden's reaction for posterity:

Ah, I can almost hear the little shrieks of terror from here. Kinda reminds me of my own family gatherings...

Think of it this way, Alexis: without experiences like this, what will Caden talk about later in therapy? Oh, and Caden, there's always our young Wreckporter's intern program for next year.


NOTE: I've been getting some complaints about the proliferation of CCCs here on Cake Wrecks - which is kind of like complaining about all the sick people in hospitals, if you think about it. Still, I'll do my best to space them out between "real" cakes for y'all. Remember, though: if we let these silent menaces go unmentioned, bakeries might start thinking they're acceptable! We can't have that, now can we?
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

You know, I looked just like the second monkey one fateful night after dinner at our local Chinese buffet...

Also...his feet are on backwards.

Craig said...

Thanks to the awkward positioning of the tail, see-through arms and legs are not the only thing it makes it appear that Mr. Monkey has. I'm trying to remain kid friendly here, but the top cake is getting awfully close to balloon cake and firehose cake territory.

ad said...

It's like an angry, angry gremlin...

Cyndi said...

That's scary! Poor kid!

Alix said...

Oh. Dear. God.

I was about to chastise you ,Jen, for picking on the top monkey, when I realized that was supposed to be the template.

I think we all agree that the CCC concept is a travesty to cakedom, but why are they typically so pooly done? The second monkey is horrid. And that TAIL! Kind of puts all into perspective right there. Case closed.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blosgspot.com

Scraplin said...

OMG that monkey wreck is really wrecked! although that "tail" could possibly be mistaken for something else....LOL
I can't stand CCC's and I refuse to take an order for one in our bakery, no matter how many people want one! They are a pain to make, and I'm sure they are a mess to serve. Keep the wrecks coming...CCC's or not.. I love this blog!

Kathy Skomer said...

I like seeing the CCC. Customers want these cakes. Most of our decorators hate making them.

Leslie said...

No I think it's definitely a steamroller victim. That's one flat and dead looking monkey right there.

It also looks a bit like me by the time Friday rolls around and I haven't yet had my weekend beer.

Lori said...

When I first saw the post, I thought you were going to comment on the unfortunate placement of the "tail" on Monkey Cake #1. I don't know what you've done to me because it seems I now see genitalia on ALL cakes. Really...I used to be a very nice lady.

Dea said...

It's so ANGRY! Find a happy place!

Piper said...

a wreck's a wreck. REPORT IT ALL! who cares if it's CCC's. it's a wreck! that's all that matters :)

Robyn said...

WOW. That poor little boy.

I will say though, they are similar. They're both brown. Right?

fluffy cow said...

I'm laughing so hard!!! I thought the first one was the wreck... then I scrolled! Number one is the colon.. and number two is... well.... number 2!!!!

Puck said...

I think he looks like he's rather upset at having crapped himself not just the lack of tail outline; but because if you look at the orginal template cake, his tail is actual cupcakes, if you look at the super wreck it's really just blobs of brown icing...which leads very easily to the above mention effect.

Which means the decorator extra cheaped out. Bravo!

Goblue562 said...

It always amazes me that people have the audacity to complain about the content in YOUR blog! If they don't want to see the CCC, they can always go elsewhere or start their own blog where they can control the content. Sheesh already, people, it's HER blog!

Anonymous said...

I agree...cupcake cakes are wrecky, but more tragic wrecky than funny wrecky. I need my daily dose of misspellings, misunderstandings and unintentional inuendos!

Janice in GA said...

That face... I'd scream and cry too! Jeezopete.

Women on the Verge said...

Don't be offended, I am a grammar stickler. It should say "effect" not "affect" in your post.

Love your site.

Passion Fruit said...

I smiled when I saw the first one. I saw the little tuft of chest hair and the toes and thought "how cute!".

I scrolled down and...*blink blink*. I actually gasped.

O my.

It also looks, aside from looking like "an angry, angry gremlin", like a squashed, four legged spider.

Gag inducing yet so, so funny!

I want a cake wreck to happen to me! Except not on my wedding day!

--Brianna @ Passion.Fruit

Jen said...

Lori,

My evil plan to turn you all into gutter-minded deviants is working! Mwu-ha-ha-haaaa!!

Hada said...

I'm not sure why the flat monkey has human-like hands and cat-like feet...

And I enjoy all your wrecks! It's your blog - post what YOU want.

*James* said...

i pulled up your page and was starting to wonder what was so wrong with the first monkey...and then i scrolled down. All I can say is: Poor Caden :(

word verification: cylighea

The poor monkey was born with a bad case of cylighea.

Mari said...

Thank goodness I ate breakfast already!

Anonymous said...

think the first one is bad as well. that 'tail' looks like his privates. both are unfortunate. the second one looks like a wookie.

Becky said...

I'm new here and I have no clue what a CCC cake. Anyone care to enlighten me? Thanks!!

Oh and the monkey is really creeping me out.....

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Ew! That monkey has chest hair. Also, that "tail" could be confused for all sorts of things.

Becky B said...

Holy monkeys! To me they kind of look like they are pinned down on a science table, and that is what freaks me out about them!

Helen Highwater said...

He's young, he'll get over it. So many more horrific cake wrecks to come in all our lives! Yippee!

Bodell Family said...

Who keeps complaining about the ccc's? If you don't like reading about them, then don't read this blog. Personally, I LOVE reading about all the cake wrecks no matter which kind. I don't think I've laughed as hard as I have reading about them, my husband too! Please, keep up the GREAT wrecks!

alisaz said...

I love seeing CCC wrecks, keep 'em coming.. And I would agree, these monkeys look a bit too anatomically correct for my taste..

Redd said...

The good news is that Caden won't remember this cake. Except perhaps in his deepest, darkest nightmares.

All Adither said...

That second monkey looks like something I'd pull off.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Michael said...

Wait, she ordered a CCC? what did she expect would happen? the line between happy and nightmarishly scary is apparently pretty slim when it comes to monkeys.

Sara Lou said...

Wow - i can't believe some people would complain about the content on YOUR blog...

Let them make their own blog if they want it done their way. Exactly - they won't...

It is like complaining about how your husband does dishes... or the laundry... if you don't like it - do it yourself.

Thank you for ALL of your wrecks. I enjoy each & everyone of them - they brighten my day (& cause me to stare into the bakery cases at the grocery stores).

Missy said...

Oh poor Caden! I feel bad for him just by looking at his picture. Alexis, I hope you took that picture to the bakery and showed them his reaction, so they'd feel bad!

The Caked Crusader said...

You must continue with exposing the CCCs. I can't word it any better than Edmund Burke (although he possibly wasn't talking about CCCs):
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"

Lauren said...

Keep posting them all!!! I love this site. A wreck is a wreck and ALL should be shown to the world.
Your site brings me loads of laughs every day. Keep up the great work!

Susan B. said...

Yeah, Jen. You succeeded. My first thought at the first cake was the fire hose. Ironic considering most people see me as so innocent. If they only knew what you've done to me. :-P LOL!

Poor kid! What a crappy first birthday cake!

Jessie said...

At least these cupcakes appear to be individually iced.

Meg said...

I have to admit that when I scrolled down to see the second monkey it actually scared me... I though what the HE** is that thing.. I crossed my eyes then squinted and I saw it... I saw the monkey it should have been... No wonder that poor little guy is crying... If my Mom made that cake for the whole world to see I would be crying too... I wonder how it tasted...was it good or did it taste like the crap coming out from it's bum!!

BTW... I personally like some CCC's. They are great for a crowd of teenagers at a ball game... take one and run... no plates, not fork... just napkins for serving!! Took me a few minutes to figure out what the CCC stood for... I HATE ACRONYMNS!!

Donna said...

Oh dear...I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a cold, thought to check what was new on Cake Wrecks to cheer me up...and it only got worse.

Why oh Why do decorators say "Sure, I can duplicate that", when they can't?

I think I'm still recuperating from Sandra Lee's mess yesterday.

Amy said...

Omg.
Monkey Autopsy! Arms/legs spread eagle, and apparently a mess made on the table there, too. All we need is the Y incision.
No wonder the poor kid's screaming. I'd scream too if someone served me a dead monkey cake.

The top cake, while better made, looks VERY happy to see everyone.:o)
~Amy B.

Donna said...

I just noticed something that may have contributed to the wreck...I counted 36 cupcakes on the first one, but only 24 on the wreck?

GreenEggsandSam said...

hahhaha...sick people in hospitals!??! hilarious!

Please don't let any reader dissuade you posting reality in a timely matter (ie. don't space out the CCC reality)...if the people make CCC then let's see the CCC wrecks.

No need to withhold the goodness from the rest of us, simply because some readers complained about the direction the world is going.

Seriously, I love everything you post because of your commentary. Your commentary takes it from 'oh, that's weird.' to AHAHAHAHAHAHA, that's incredibly freakin' hilarious!

thanx...I love clicking on your posts in my google reader.

PS-ex. 'I can't decide if this is a monkey at a stick-up who just soiled himself (an unfortunate affect of not outlining the "tail"), or if he's another steamroller victim. Or, given that expression, I suppose he could be on some Amazon torture rack - I mean, those arms and legs are rather long...'
SO worth my time!

Danica said...

People who are complaning need to just stop reading your blog! :) Those monkey CCC are just bad in general, and CCC are bad, get the word out!

Becky said...

Wow. That second one really scares me.
And I have a question - isn't this YOUR blog? Can't you write about those darn CCC things as much as you want on YOUR blog? I can't stand for people to complain about something they have no right to complain about. Geez.
Ok, I'm better.

tony a.k.a. isweatbutter said...

in my opinion, BOTH of those monkeys look like they are... well... "pinching a loaf."

Laura ~Peach~ said...

OH MYYYYYYYYYYY Poor caden ... Monkey DOO DOO LMAO have mercy ... KEEP THE CCC's comeing maybe people will learn!

coupdecoeur said...

Hello
a small mark at the time of my passage on your very beautiful blog!
congratulations!
thanks for making us share your moments
you have a translation of my English space!
cordially from France
¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* ~ Chris ~ -:¦:-
http://SweetMelody.bloguez.com

DoodleBunz said...

I do believe that YIKES is all I can manage on this one...I'm not a huge fan of the first one, but I'd surely be content with it if the 2nd CCC was my only other option...how horrid!

Catherine said...

Becky- a CCC is a CupCake Cake. Took me a few to realize that one.

Also, just what was the decorator thinking?!

Anonymous said...

That first cake was hideous in the first place - she deserved what she got for ordering what was already a wreck! Of course - the second one is beyond words...

Debbi said...

But, Jen, CCC's are just so *wrong* ...

Melody said...

New reader here -- I love this blog! I read the whole thing yesterday.

As someone who just made her first casserole at age 29 and who cannot bake at all, I understand the necessity of the CCC. However, how freaking difficult would it be to cut some of the cupcakes so the entire CCC has a better shape? Surely someone wouldn't mind (or would prefer, even) half a cup cake?

It just seems like if you're going to go through the trouble of frosting 30 cupcakes, you'd want the end result to be semi-satisfactory.

Anyway, great blog, thanks. I love the Super Mario cakes!!

Anonymous said...

Caden? I'm surprised the bakery didn't write "Jaden" or "Aiden" or "Braeden" or some other variation of that name.

Honi said...

Ya know I gotta quit reading you at work.. all this silent laughter is going to make my eyeballs pop out...

CaliGirl9 said...

The second CCC looks like a veterinary school specimen in a primate anatomy class.

Or a drug company clinical trials victim.

Either way don't let PETA see those CCCs!

robyn said...

Keep talkin' about the CCC's--they are truly butt-ugly "cakes"!

Alexis said...

Thanks Jen for showing my CCC wreck. Poor Caden has recovered but now has pictures in his 1st year scrapbook that will help with those therapy sessions. Many more items to come, maybe the pink bunny costume for Easter might have been a bad idea … HMMM

What I thought would be a cute easy cake turned into something very scary. The fun part was when you took the cupcakes off it looked like a legless monkey that pooped. Thankfully it was very tasty and the older kids thought it was hilarious.

Note for next year Wal-Mart not the best decorating place, but hey it’s a kids birthday and the cake usually goes so fast they don’t even look at it.

Thanks Anonymous for thinking I deserved it :).

Anonymous said...

I just don't get CCCs...I mean, really people, is it actually that difficult to cut a cake???

Deborah Godin said...

Since I discovered your blog, just a mere couple of weeks ago, I have been working on a new theory. Now I think I have it. Frosting should be a controlled substance. It's obvious that careless handling and consumption of it warps the brains of otherwise normal (or so we hope) people, and destroys their ability to determine what is cute and what is horrendous. Just say No to fondant!

Amy said...

I feel it is completely necessary that I comment in defense of the decorator- there is a huge complication with cupcake cakes that people overlook. When a customer orders a CCC, they are already taking risks, but most people who order CCCs are uncompromising tyrants! they want a specific number of cupcakes on the cake, no more, no less! heaven forbid they have to pay for an extra three cupcakes so that the monkey they just "have to have" can have a proper tail, or that a few extra cupcakes be made separate from the cake so the monkey's head isn't disproportionately huge... I think the fault behind most if not all CCC wrecks is that of the person ordering, not the person creating.

Anonymous said...

Please please don't stop posting the CCC!!! They are some of the FUNNIEST things we have ever seen! I LOVE SEEING ALLLLLL the cake wrecks!

Julie said...

Ya know.... I'm really starting to wonder about the general mental health of the "decorators" who churn out these awful creations.

How mentally unstable does one have to be to not realize that most of these cake concepts are FAR beyond her abilities?

Anonymous said...

Just for the record, I believe the hands, feet, face, and yes, the chest and little poof of hair are plastic lay-ons. The rest is frosting on CC's. So see what happens when you don't have the **alls to tell a customer that you can't offer then the exact cake that they have found somewhere on the internet. Sometimes, some of the wrecks, are because a customer can't take NO for an answer. Now...as for CCC, I hate to make them but once again some customers will not take NO for an answer.

hollyml said...

EFFECT, Jen, not affect. (Pet peeve.) Affect is an emotion, like affection. Effect is a result; as in something effective getting good results.

As for the monkey CCC: WHY?!

It's just not that hard to do a monkey as a single cake. Turns out way cuter too. I say this from personal experience!

Anonymous said...

No wonder the poor child is crying, I might too! If you're going to make a CCC at least make it a decent one.

Julie
http://www.cakesandkids.com

Adele said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA that poor monkey looks like it escaped from the Monkey asylum. Poor, Poor Caden,this could warp him for life. I don't think a visit to the zoo anytime soon would be in order.
Adele

Chris said...

Poor kid ... scarred for life ...

The Mistress of Cakes said...

First of all I wouldn't pay for such a thing. Being a mommy of two little girls and a lover a cakes myself I don't feel the CCC is a bad concept but just poorly done usually. I have seen several that you wouldn't know were CCC's. I think a pull apart cake is a great idea during birthday's with children under five. I agree however with this sites fodant strike. It is crap..but I have come across a recipe for candy clay that is a great substitution and easier to work with than fondant as well it compliments buttercream instead just using buttercream as glue.

I think the biggest travesty in the cake industry are the prefab gingerbread houses that taste and look like crap. I can at least stomach something if it tastes good but if it neither looks appetizing or tastes like it should...please take it off the market!

Jon said...

It looks like a an awful insect of some kind...

Kimberly said...

I'm with Caden.. this terrified me and I'm 44.. he'll be scarred for life.. totally therapy bound!

Anonymous said...

Mistress of Cakes -- Could you provide a link to the candy clay recipe you like?

*~*Lis*~* said...

Ugh - these are nasty!

I just yesterday ordered cakes for my twins 1st birthday - and spelled every word and made sure the order-taker didn't write anything like "underneath" on it, I didn't want any confusion!

mrs. q. said...

At least the tail (poop, stick, flotsam) isn't made of cupcakes, so some unfortunate guest doesn't have to eat from "there"...

CCC are just sad. But so wrecktasticly fun to witness!

FreedomFirst said...

I, for one, totally agree with you. CCCs are the new digital photography; everyone thinks they too can be a professional. They are a disgrace to the real bakers out there.

writtenwyrdd said...

I thought the original was kinda cute, actually, but the wannabe was just awful. Pooping himself indeed.

Sari said...

I just can't understand why regular cupcakes aren't enough for people who want hassle free cake goodness? Why smush them together and decorate as one? I think we can all appreciate the simplicity of the CC (cupcake). But it's the third C that will get you everytime...

blade girl said...

I second every word of greeneggsandsam's post. Jen, your blog totally rocks as is. Your commentary (and posters' comments) make entries **HILARIOUS!!!**
Not just LOL, or LMAO, or LOFL-blahblahblah, but tears-inducing, hilarious.
Keep fighting the good fight against CCCs, Jen!

And about today's CCC...did anyone else see a tortured monkey salad? Correction, tortured monkey, who soiled himself, salad?

Poooooor Caden! But thanks for contributing - your mom has started you on the right track early.

Havocec said...

I hate monkeys...all of them...cake or otherwise. I don't know why because I never got a ccc monkey cake for my birthday ever.

I think the second monkey is angry because he's crapped himself and doesn't have hands to throw the crap with.

But I do hate monkeys.

Wendy said...

I love seeing the cake wrecks.
I love seeing the ccc wrecks.
I love seeing the Sunday eye candy.
I love you.

Word Verification: gootain.
Must try to somehow include gootain in conversation tomorrow....

Kookaburra said...

Dude! They didn't even put cupcakes in the tail! Just the frosting directly onto the cake board - how cheap!

Ally said...

Oh the nightmares!

And who cares if it's cupcakes?!
A wreck's a wreck!

Bring 'em on!

heartafire said...

Jen,
I'm with all the commenters who say: LET HER BLOG IN PEACE, ON HER OWN BLOG !!

You do such a terrific job, with all of your screamingly funny commentary....don't change one thing!
And keep the CCC coming---they're a hootfest.


P.S. And you may have noticed I didn't say anything about the affect/effect issue.....

You see, I wasn't really affected by it. Its only effect, obviously, was to rile up others, who may have quirky affectations about such things as proper word usage. Yeesh.

Luckily, I have nothing but affection for you, and wouldn't dream of affecting your psyche with the effects of a pointless tirade about effectual use of language.

Oh well.....my affect is unchanged. I am still going to blithely go about my blog reading, singing a merry tune.

heartafire said...

"Monkey See, Monkey Doo-doo" has to be one of your funniest titles yet!

Anonymous said...

I love this blog. It just makes my day.....and I don't care what kind of "cake" it is. They are ALL funny!

Jane from Australia

Viktor said...

I have to weigh in on the side of those who want you to cut down on the number of CCCs in the blog. Not because I like them or anything, but because there's no challenge. CCCs are automatically bad, so it's not as horrid when they're wrecked. Real cakes are much more fun to see destroyed.

holly said...

I'm sorry but you post whatever-the-h#ll you want to on YOUR blog. No one HAS to read it. Tell the whiners to get a life.

Misha said...

I can't wrap my mind around CCC supporters. I just can't.

Jill said...

Oh look at the cute little fuzzy monkey buttcheeks. ROFL!!!

Love your blog!!! Don't change a thing.

pitchersbakery said...

ccc stand for CupCake Cakes...

the moneys tail looks like poop...

i have seen some awesome cupcake cakes... but this really is sad, if i made that i would have turned around and tried again and done a better job how can you even sell such a ccc? sad...

Gobsmacked said...

People are complaining about too many Cupcake-cake wrecks?

You actually get complaints about what you choose to post in your OWN blog??????? Wow. And then you try to be accomodating (kudos on that). You're much nicer than I.

Jaime said...

I can not stop laughing.

That is the most messed up monkey face ever.

Wow.

yousuckatcraigslist said...

I love how there's no clear delineation between the arms and legs coming out of the torso -- it's just one big amorphous monkey blob.

Women on the Verge said...

Thanks for fixing the grammar, Jen. I feel much better.

I have no problem with cupcakes alone - they serve the purpose. They are handy when taking somewhere for kids because no utensils are needed. It's the idea that someone, somewhere decided that it made sense to clump a bunch of little individual paper wrapped cakes together to make a monstrosity that puzzles me. If you want cupcakes, have cupcakes. Want cake? Get cake? This is apparently for those spoiled brats who want their cake and their cupcakes too?

Etiquette Bitch said...

i thought the "original" was barf-a-licious as well. I'm with you, Jen, a ban on all CCCs! (in the baking world, not on this site) although, i suppose if CCCs cease to exist, that might thin your submission pile a bit, eh?

rookie bebe said...

The "better" top monkey's tail almost looks like an umbilical cord. Maybe if they'd made room to put the tail to the side it would look better.

NotABaker said...

Best. Headline. Ever.

Amy said...

Question: if the decorator had to draw the tail in icing on the board without cupcakes anyway, why did he bother to make it look like the tops of cupcakes? did he think he would "fool" somebody? why not just draw a tail?

Anonymous said...

Jeez, I showed this to my daughter who found it hysterical beyond words and now wants this cake for her 6th birthday. It's the poop that did it. Now where am I ever going to find one to re-create this monkey monstrosity with poo for her?

Aviatrix said...

The disparity between what was evidently a catalogue picture and the delivered product suddenly made me wonder about an area in which I order custom work based on catalogue pictures: floral bouquets.

Recipients of flower arrangements I have ordered off te internet always TELL me they are beautiful, but now I'm frightened to wonder how many measured up as poorly as that poor, poor monkey.

aingeleag said...

Hey everyone!! I just wanted to comment on this on two different points. I AM the decorator that made the first cupcake cake in the post.. I know the tail looks like a... well *cough*.. and the icing isn't flat. Believe it or not, the lady who ordered it told me she didn't like the smoothed-out iced ones. Also, she had to draw me out a picture on how she wanted it positioned. Go figure people order some atrocious things. I just tried to make it look decent for what I had to work with. And yes, there's 36 cupcakes vs. the normal 24. And yes, I almost gagged on the "replica"...

Josephine said...

I think I'll stick with vanilla...