Now, Mike doesn't usually concern himself with our "professional-only" rule, but for this feature he did obtain permissions from the bakers in question - just so you can have all the guilt-free chuckles you like. So, enjoy!
In cakery--as in many things--good intentions and earnestness can only get you so far. And then you need good looks. Right? Imagine a world where Ross Perot has his own reality dating show on Fox and then tell me I'm wrong.
So when I swing a callous word or ten at these cakes based on the, uh... "likeness" of Daleks (mechanical mutant aliens) from the BBC TV series Dr. Who, remember that I'm a shallow, shallow man fixated merely on appearances. My words do not reflect upon the care, goodwill, and love that went into these cakes.
(Although, for my money, "love" means giving someone at least a halfway-decent-looking cake. C'mon, people.)
For the record, this is what an actual, honest-to-goodness Dalek looks like, for you non-adherents of esoteric British sci-fi TV shows:
And now... won't you join me in my callousness? (Or in my shallowness. Reader's choice.)
This bloated bastard is the Dalek cake that ate the Dalek cake that had been recently chastised by its doctor for its dangerously unhealthy weight gain.
Kind of a sad little guy, isn't he? I look at this and think, "The perfect 40th birthday cake for the man who's given up on his dreams."
This started down the road for "Dalek cake," but took an unexpected detour at "Nah, let's just cover a banana with whipped cream and stick some chocolate balls on it, because I've got a wicked case of the munchies after that bong hit I just had."
I'm sad to report this Dalek looked perfectly respectable before an ugly incident with an angry, runaway microwave.
Is it just me, or does the top half of this "Dalek" remind you of the giant, asteroid-dwelling creature from The Empire Strikes Back that tried to eat the Millennium Falcon?
Bad space snake. Bad.
Find more awful geeky cakes (and awesome geeky cakes!) at Great White Snark.