Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A Barry Booty-full Cake

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I've often said I want to be just like Dave Barry, only with ovaries. And as much as that statement may disturb my husband, the sentiment remains: DB is one of those writers who inspires stalker-like affection from yours truly. So, when Wreckporter Joyce W. alerted me to Dave's latest blog entry containing - oh yes - a cake, I put away my telephoto zoom lenses and super-spy microphones to do a little happy dance. Because this isn't just any cake: it's a wreckalicious confection rife with pun possibilities - or in other words, my favorite kind.

Behold the Behind!

According to Dave, this was for his son's birthday. According to this cake, Dave's son is something of an 'A' man, if ya knowuddamean. (And if not, don't ask.) Dave's readers seem to share my penchant for puns, too: the comments include cracks (oh! that one was unintentional!) about butt-cream frosting and speculation over whether the cake was Duncan Hiney, Betty Cracker, or perhaps purchased at Derriere Queen.

Personally, I'm kind of curious about the librarian heels, Monica Lewinsky hair, and anatomically impossible angle of the right ankle. I mean, I know strippers are supposed to be flexible, but rotating a knee cap 180 degrees? That's gotta be a rare talent.

What say you, readers? Do we give the buns a bum rap, or is all well that ends well in the end?
The Wade's said...

Now that's classy!!

There really is no accounting for good taste!

ad said...

I'm still wondering about the strange bulge in the left thigh...

Jen said...

I can't comment on the cake because all I can think about is Dave Barry has a blog?!!

But I think Drum said it best in Steel Magnolias, "There's nothin' like a good piece of ass"

MeilingM said...

Um... if he's an "A" man... I see no strap or other indicator that she's wearing anything to cover "B".

And yes, flexibility (of ankles or other areas) is a must in scantily clad, butt cake models!

Alex said...

If you're like me, with bad knees, you can do that with your feet. Of course, bad knees keep me from doing all those other stripper things, but cest la vie!

I'm wondering what a GOOD stripper cake would look like. Until I see that, I'll have to say that this ain't too bad.

M K Glass said...

I stand behind this cake 100%! If you ass me, some people will rear their ugly heads and butt in with their own crack comments. It bums me out to no end, as I am a big fanny of your site.

Oh, and think the cake is spank-tacular. Thanks for sharing.

lois said...

I share the joy and laughter of Cake Wrecks with my kids, so: No, I don't like this post.

Justfrosting said...

OH MY FREAKIN HECK!!!--It looks just like my mom!

the rabbi's wife said...

ick. I hope he gave the crack to his worst enemy.

Carol said...

Am I the only one fairly impressed by the shading of the frosting to mimic shadows that would be created by the natural form of a body? I wonder if the decorator is one of those Hollywood special effects people. Hmm.

And I cringed when you said this was for Dave's son and then I realized that his son might actually be of age and not, oh, say... four.

wantkitty2008 said...

I particularly like the oddly angled arm disappearing into the mass of crazy bouffant hair - unless she's a hunchback and severely deformed!

Jen said...

I think she needs to have the huge tumor on her right shoulder/back of her head looked at.

Trevor said...

That really is a bizzare angle for the foot. There's no way it can do that. And yes, it's wrecktastic!

Ophelia said...

As is the norm for A-men, the face is so unimportant that it's reduced to dots for the eyes. Of course the bum is the focal point and you shouldn't be paying attention to her broken right ankle.

I am, I will admit, somewhat impressed that the sculptor attempted perspective, with her top half fading away into the distance.

Gage Herrmann said...

I say, "ew". And, "scary"!

la-princesa-di said...

I personally love the swirls on the ....mirror? Oy.

Natalie said...

Well, I am trying to get a leg up on this one, and I calf to say, she's a bit wonky.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the model for the cake was double-jointed? At any rate, if I had to have a piece (excuse me), I'd want it from the back or shoulder..or something.
No matter how hard I try, that just doesn't sound right!
~Amy B

kiminthekitchen said...

Where did her knees go? It looks like her calves go almost all the way up her leg and then straight into her thigh... Yikes!

And I would hate to have been the model for this one... Would I be happy or sad about it? She's just not proportional...

SolaMommy said...

Her calf and thigh are one, and she has no knees. If she's a stripper, it's to supplement her Medicaid.

That's for his son? How old is his son? Is this another "Happy 14th Birthday" repeat?

Jane said...

Naughty cakes make me a little nauseous since I witnessed my father-in-law being forced to lick the icing off a boob cake on his fiftieth birthday. Poor, gentle man...

trash talk said...

I don't want to rump-le anyone's feathers, butt this could get a little hairy and asinine. It's just a great reminder to take life with a little tongue in cheek. I can't believe I just wrote that. Deb

KirstyB said...

Hahaha....I've been a little behind in reading and what do I come back to?? The Great Behind!! What a sight to see!!

Olga said...

oh my! I just hope his son is at least 18!!!!!

Carrie said...

Next time I'm hankering for a piece of a** I'll know where to go. Fann-tastic!
C.C.

Kenya Starflight said...

That girl's also got a rather painful wedgie there... ouch...

Chezza said...

I thought it was Betty Boot!

Hyla Waldron said...

I am hoping his son is old enough for a cake like this.

Maybe her ankle is broken???

Anonymous said...

Ew...is it just the angle, or does it look like Dora the Explorer on top, and J-Lo on the bottom? Regardless...it's wrecky.

Michael said...

Wow. I hadn't even noticed the right foot until you said something. That's just freaky!

awriterswindow said...

All caboose jokes aside...did anyone notice that she has cankles? At least on her right ankle.

Liz said...

I think my biggest concern would be the green, foggy swirls eminating from this poor cake woman... what on earth did she have for lunch? And will it impact the taste of the cake??

LizC

Torra said...

As scarry as the hair is, the leg this is actualy quite easy. Any woman in my family can do it...then again, we're all kinda freeks...

Winona said...

For the record, as a librarian, I do wear sensible heels. But not usually with just a g-string... at least at work. HA! That cake is just... well, I'm not even sure which part I'd like to eat, if at all.

Ami said...

::snort::

You've 'cracked' me up again.
I'm assuming ( ha!! ASSuming.. very punny) that Dave's son is an adult?

Dana said...

Unlike a lot of cakes here, you can at least tell what its TRYING to be, and its still a lot better than creepy super realistic babies :/

I'd have to say let it slide.

horriblelicenseplates said...

Is there a cake decorating school you go to where you learn how to ice thongs? Truly amazing buttercream cheeks!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. Not to mention that even the more "normal" leg is missing the femur! It goes directly from calf to booty. Awkward.

Katie said...

Of all the comments, the one most obvious to me would be asking if someone would "like a piece of a**."

Abbie said...

Ohhh this one had me cackling like a fool! HAHAHAHA!

JAMIE'S CREW said...

OMG! That is the best - the comments you shared in the post are hilarious! Betty Cracker, Duncan Hiney.....ROFLMAO.

So, if I forward you a pic of a cake wreck can I remain anonymous?

Anonymous said...

Does this mean that cutting it was a pain in the ass?

jen shikami said...

... HOW old is this son? O_O

Anonymous said...

i think my favorite (and possible most distrubing) part is that she is spewing yellow swirls pig pen style...

Leslie said...

I just can't help thinking it looks like Holly Hobby: the stripper years...

Krysta said...

Accoring to a 1999 Bio of Dave Barry, Rob had recently gotten his drivers license. It is safe to say that the son is at least 25.

*Michelle said...

Is it just me.. or does she look like a 70's stripper doing the "gettin jiggy with it" dance?

Teagan Blackthorne said...

Woo, they mentioned your blog on Mark & Mercedes this morning in Vegas. The station is Mix 94.1 and the reason was Mercedes ordered a cake for a friend that did not turn out the way it was ordered. ;) I tried to call the blog in but was told several other people had already called it. So you are famous in Vegas.

Larissa Holland said...

I've tagged you as a favorite blog. If you haven't already been tagged a million times and you'd like to play along, here are the rules.
http://mmmcrafts.blogspot.com/2008/10/ive-been-tagged.html
Thank you so much for the biggest laughs I've had a in a long time. You are a genius comic writer.

Stephanie said...

Don't know if you are already aware of this but you are featured on the Very Short List email newsletter today! I subscribe to this newsletter and I was thrilled to see how very cool they think your blog is. Here see for yourself:

http://www.veryshortlist.com/vsl/daily.cfm/
review/654/Website/cake-wrecks/?tp

Enjoy!

christi said...

Relax folks! Checking Dave Barry's wikipedia entry shows that is son is 28 this year. This cake was not for a young child or teenager. No "Happy 14th Birthday" repeat here.

Juliet said...

The whole right leg is disturbing. It's rubbery, as though she only exercised the left leg (which is nice and beefy) and left the right leg to atrophy.

This is a cake for an A-man indeed, so it doesn't matter that the face looks like Dora the Explorer. I guess.

Mary said...

Bottoms down on that one.

Yvonne Perry said...

You actually noticed the ankles and knees? LOL!

becca said...

For all of you worried about a traumatized kid, IIRC Robert Barry is about my age, which would put him at least in his late twenties/early thirties.

Anonymous said...

Tacky tacky!!!!

kristin said...

I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type!!!

My first thought was that this was for another child, but thankfully not! There really is no end to bad taste.
Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!

Stacey said...

This really cracks me up!!!
My kids too are in love with cakewrecks and they thought this was hilarious. they could not believe any one would want a piece of butt cake on their plate... ooohhh gross!

DotC said...

The hair and the shoes indicate that someone from Jackie O's era decorated this.

Chelsea said...

I know this is being rather nit-picky, but as a dancer (ballet...not THAT kind...yeesh) I must say that you actually CAN get your feet turned out like that...it takes a lot of turning from the hip and really strong butt muscles, but it can be done...

And that cake is one of the tackiest things I've ever seen.

Real Live Lesbian said...

That's some sexy cake! She'd never be able to hold onto a stripper pole with that ankle!

Femaleclaws said...

Wrecktastic - but I'm sure Rob found the cake to be... bootylicious.

Melanie and/or Braden said...

Dave's son Rob was born in 1980... so yeah, I'd say he's "of age"... :)

Kari Ann said...

Well, at least the stripper's ON the cake instead of popping OUT of it!

I hafta say though, my "yea-or-nay" feelings on this particular confection depend on the age of said birthday boy. If he's around college age, then no problem; this is truly a crack-tacular culinary confection.

However, if he's younger than jr. high, that's just wrong (much like the Grand Theft Auto cake for 4-year-old "Lil Derrick").

MetalNoir said...

With the big butt aqnd all the swirlies going on, I thought the "artist" was decorating a cake in the style of Austrian nouveau artist Gustav Klimt (see this example ).

Which brings to mind how incredibly well Klimt's work would adapt to a cake (like this one

and this one).

Unfortunately, this wreck isn't it. This is just hilarious. Two things: (1) THE SHOES!!!! and (2, and someone else mentioned this) the girl's disturbing resemblance to Dora the Explorer.

clueuin said...

To Stephanie: Cool 411 Steph, (May I call you Steph?)
Hey Jen your famous now!Maybe even as famous as your hero Dave Barry?

So I guess there is no excuse not to make those calendars now, eh, Jen?

Anywho! That cake looks like a well- defined cookie to me. It's not thick enough. (Yes, even for a cake that feature the female posteria.) As for the rest....

There were legs bent crooked? Sorry didn't notice, must be behind the rest in seeing the legs. LOL

Peace,
Clueuin

Calantha said...

Is that woman wearing a wig or her hair just teased to Tower of Babel-like heights? Hard to tell from the angle, butt I must say this cheeky image could have been worse than what was asspired to - it could have turned into a NSFW redo of those baby-butt cakes.

Crazy McWife said...

Wow, she's only got one calf! But it's a great looking left-calf. Too bad about her gimp broken right leg. :(

Cyberhippien said...

But what about the thong? it doesn't get into the crack, but it's as if it was... painted onto the skin, and she has nothing between the legs at all... kinky!

Beckster said...

I can't help but wonder if maybe J.Lo, Jenny from the Block posed for this???

UGH! I wouldn't touch it!

acute_disaster said...

Definitely a no.

Her hair and face reminds me of Cathy, from the Sunday newspaper comics. And I don't want to picture a comic character nude.
Haha.
:]

-acute_disaster

Ev said...

Having gone to school with Rob Barry (but I won't say when), I can safely say that he's in his late 20s, so the cake is completely aboveboard. As for his, um, predilections, I don't have any evidence for or against. He is, however, an uncommonly sweet and funny guy, and I like him a lot. Happy Birthday, Rob! I hope it's all it's cracked up to be...*snerk* :-P

Denise said...

I will forever think of this cake when I hear a man say "I'd like to slice me off a piece of that!"

I was always the kid who wanted the slice with the rose on it. What do I ask for here - the femur?

joyce said...

Wow---thanks for using my "find" on Dave Barry's website. But, you forgot to show the results of when they started cutting and eating it...

Needless to say, they went for her behind. Or, as my sister calls, it, boo-hiney.

I am so honored. I can't believe I was the first to send it to you. Wow.

Dea said...

Gotta love where they started cutting - I want a piece of a$$!!!! Bwahahaha!

TornadoBaby said...

Lol... you can tell it's been a long day for me. I looked at the Duncan Hiney part and thought "isn't is supposed to be Hines...?"

Then...

"Oh... haha, I get it now..."

Angie said...

And his son was how old? That must have been one clASSy party.

Lose That Girl said...

First day that I've visited your site. I love it! I've already passed the link on to several friends. Wonderful idea, so much fun!

Anonymous said...

Wow, her knees are mere inches below her hips. That, combined with the problems she's having with her right foot, must make it really hard to walk.

I can only imagine what it would look like... it brings to mind a Terry Pratchett quote: "It wasn't so much a walk as a collapse, indefinitely postponed."

becky said...

That foot looks like a club foot... so that would explain the weird angle...

Jim Gerl said...

Hi,

I just voted for your excellent blog for the Bloggers Choice Awards.

Could you please return the favor at:
http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620

Thanks,

SpEdLaw2
http://specialeducationlawblog.blogspot.com

joyce said...

Silly me---you did include the cutting of the, uh, "cake" by letting us click on the words "blog entry". Thanks, your wreckporter

DWF said...

Back that c@ke up!!

Nancy Folsom said...

Did he say if he regretted his purchase in hindsight?

Anonymous said...

When I finally figured out whay an "A" man was I had to laugh. I am a little slow. Personally I am a face man. Got to have a pretty face. Don't initial that it doesn't work. But I digress. An appropriate song for this cake would be Queen, Fat-bottomed girls.

thenewsarahsundae said...

My husband would like this cake...

Jennifer Foster said...

I think it's pretty funny and all in good humor!

Morgan said...

This is like a Photoshop Disaster and Cake Wreck all rolled into one!

mousekemom said...

Say no to crack!!!! LOL

Viper said...

lol too funny
beautiful lady!

fifikins said...

My main worry would be where to put the candle!

Gifted Designs said...

Now she's got herself some special calves and very little thigh! At least she can't be complaining they are fat...XD

Anonymous said...

This cake is assinine. <---extra s added. Webster can kiss mine

Anonymous said...

Wipe that cake off your face!!!

JoUK said...

I have absolutely no idea who Dave Barry is but hey, I digress . . . I'm just hoping that they didn't get his son's girlfriend to model for this cake! Now *that* would have been embarrassing . . . .

Kioran said...

THAT CAKE IS SO HOT

NOM NOM NOM NOM

TB Tabby said...

It's not as bad as the "Macho Man" cake that looks like Operation.

Anonymous said...

It would appear that this is the ultimate "cupcake" cake!!!

Julie said...

I guess it was either that or moon pies.

I can't believe that sucker was over 4 feet long! (I mean the cake, gutter brains.)

Beth said...

I thought that I pretty much dug you based on the cakes and commentary, but the Dave Barry reference sealed the deal. I heart Dave.

Anna said...

Et tu, Dave? Sigh.

halfgk said...

So... Dave Barry bought his son a cake with a nearly naked lady on it? And Dave Barry knows his son favors the caboose?

Anyone else think this is TMI for a father-son relationship?

Hello?

Amy said...

Saw this book at B&N last night:

http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Cakes-Debbie-Brown/dp/1847731805/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223670340&sr=8-2

Maybe that's where this cake came from?

slythwolf said...

I...don't understand the question. How could this not be a wreck? It's a woman intended to be dismembered in effigy. Not cool.

Anonymous said...

Sure, Dave has a blog. I've heard he has a couple of books out, too.

Angela said...

you're hilarious! I LOVE DAVE BARRY. and butt cakes. well this is the first one i've seen, but so far so good.

Wendy said...

It's a total wreck, from the giant-calf-as-leg to the gimpy club foot to the dislocated arm!

Anonymous said...

FROSTED BUTTS

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I am usually behind (that was not an intentional pun) you 100% in your opinion of these wrecks. but in this case, I would probably be fine with paying for this from a decorator if it was for my hubby. He would definitly think this was a masterpiece.

I wouldn't say that this was the worlds greatest example of art or even the best representation of the female body, but to an "A" man this cake is heavenly!

Amanda said...

They even put it on a mirror for that extra stripper bar touch.

kerry said...

As far as cakes go, I kind of like it! Slicing it could get a bit creepy, and the artist has some perspective issues and whatnot, but as a concept I like it.

I love your blog! Thank you, thank you. I had tears streaming down my cheeks, I was laughing so hard, and my husband was worried I'd forget to breathe....