Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Going to the Dogs, Continued

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

As promised, today's parade of cakey canines features the icing-drowned cupcake pups, which in my opinion ride dangerously close to the whole cupcake-cake-concept, and are therefore worthy of all the condemnation we can heap on them. But, I digress.

First up, a creation that looks more like a doggy end-product than a dog:


That's the side view. If you're thinking it will be more recognizable from the front...


Think again. Oh, and don't you love all the effort put into decorating the cake board? Somebody's shootin' for the stars.



This one's not bad, other than the fact that it's neon pink, worried-looking, and apparently vomiting sprinkles. Huh. Come to think of it, that last bit might explain the first two issues (although then neon green would be more appropriate).


Here's my favorite: the pooch's face has slid completely off his head and onto the board! I'm guessing the decorator added those paw prints after a few customers asked why the store was selling misshapen icing ploops on a board. (Yes, "ploops". I find it to be an apt description.)

Now there's a face only a mother could love. (And only a decorator could recognize, for that matter. Seriously, would you know this thing was supposed to be a dog?)


Thanks to Wreck-Wranglers Megan S., P.R., and Kristin!
Maque said...

...I can barely tell that they're dogs after you say so.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Glarrrggg....those neon cakes actually made my bowels gurgle.

Oh, and I think puppy paw prints have four "fingers".

Princeton McKinney said...

Not the thing I should be looking at this early in the a.m., ha! At first I thought the decorator did a mighty fine job of smoothing out the icing on the cake, until I realized what I thought was the cake was actually just a plain cake board (those scallops will fool me into thinking it is a cupcake cake every time).

Were these ordered, or were they created on spec, and on the bakery shelf waiting for someone to adopt them?

Sleepwalker said...

'Ploops', indeed. Add that term to the Cake Wreck dictionary. These are just plain gross.

Flartus said...

See, this is what people get for obsessing over those overly precious miniature breeds. If you can actually see the legs on your dog, maybe you'd be less inclined to try to make a cake out of it. And would thereby avoid the risk of trying to reproduce long fur in edible form.

By the way, are there any wrecky kitty cakes out there?

Jamie said...

I suspect the pink one is supposed to be Clifford, the Big Red Dog.

Kati said...

OK, that is like my 3-year-old niece's dream come true: a cupcake so slathered in frosting you can't even tell it's a cupcake. gross.

joyce said...

When my boys were little, we had a dog named, "spicy" and whenever the food was declared spicy, they'd run check to see if we still had a dog. I cannot imagine eating a cake dog, either.

Kris said...

I just found your blog and I love it. It's the perfect start to my day. :-)

Anonymous said...

I love the one that's vomiting sprinkles. Hilarious.

Ang said...

That last one looks like it was decorated with a can of Cheez Whiz. Eww!

Morgan said...

Wait... which one is a cupcake?

James ~n~ Amber said...

I think I'm more in shock over how many people actually WANT a cake like this...I guess dogs are really popular !

Fluffy Cow said...

Why is the red one vomiting confetti?? Or is that the wrong end... *sigh*

Trevor said...

Yeah, these's are pretty bad. though the neon pink one isn't bad, except for the things you list. So maybe that person has some talent but no taste?

Stacey said...

Cracks me up!!!
I particularly like the vomitting sprinkles part....lol

So walmart sells these little cakes and I did purchase one for my mother in law, she is a dog lover all the way to the extreme... however ours was so cute we could not eat it, she just showed it off and then let it sit until it was petrified.

aMuse said...

I can't even imagine what the party would be like after the kids ate all that frosting. Talk about being jacked up on sugar!

Amber said...

the only good thing about those (and by "those" I mean the chocolate icing one) is that if you really liked icing waaayyyyyyy more than cake, that's the cake for you!

dimloep-suum said...

Well, minus the sparkles, I actually really like the pink dog. The big brown lump and the yellow ploop of frosting make me twitch, though

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Bleh. Can you imagine eating all that frosting? I'll say it again: Bleh.

Anonymous said...

These are cupcakes? Not that it matters. They are uglier than sin.

Thistledew Farm said...

Hilarious! I personnally hate the dog cakes because they have taken over the spot where the single slice of cake were. Confessions of a sneaky eater...I would get a single slice when I had a craving They were great because all evidence would be gone by the time I got home! I am the only one who likes white cake, everyone else is a chocolate fan, so I'd have to sneak cake to get the kind I wanted.

Katie said...

I love this post about cupcake pups because my kids call cupcakes "pupcakes".

beth said...

These are cupcake cakes? Why did they bother with the cake at all? Why not just sculpt some frosting and call it a day? (I love frosting, but this might be beyond my tolerance...)

Sarah Rosales said...

Thanks for the laughs. Those are horrible!

Michelle said...

That second puppy is the color of pepto bismol, which apparently he either desperately needs or has overdosed on. Either way the situation is bad!!!

debbiearnn said...

Seriously now, I think my dog has left something like that first one on my carpet before...GROSS!

The 2nd one looks like clifford ate the party favors.

And the 3rd one is just plain sad. I really want to scoop up the face and put it back on his body.

slf said...

Yuck! Just imagine trying to eat this. Disgusting....no more puppy cakes, please! :)

SkippyMom said...

The last one? OMG! it is so funny [well they all are] but the way the face just.....slid.

The first two appear to be photographed at the bakery, so those don't look as tho' purchased, but the last one?

Who would buy, serve & consume?

It boggles

Rose said...

Uh...are we sure there actually *is* cake under there somewhere? These all appear to just be giant blobs of frosting. Ick. I may vomit up some sprinkles myself.

Anonymous said...

I agree- the red one is supposed to be Clifford. And I think he is vacuuming up the sprinkles.

Clifford the Big Red Hoover.

(Oh, and congratulations on the book deal, Jen! Hope you might also consider the calendar too.)

nancy b said...

Awwwww. I have feelings for the yellow one. It just needs some lovin' and it'll be as good as the other wrecks some day. Poor little guy.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

nny i thought the first was a turd, and the last I flet needed a caption in the board... sorry I ran over your critters face~ so sad yet so funny!

April said...

Wow. So is there actually CAKE under all that icing?

Anonymous said...

I've always wondered if people actually eat these monstrosities -- it makes my pancreas ache just looking at them!

Twistie said...

Just when you think it might be safe to visit Cake Wrecks with a hot cut of java in your hand...I should know better by now.

That bottom 'dog' looks like acid trips people have described to me. Only worse, because it isn't an hallucination.

J Rob said...

AaaahhHaHaHa!

Double-yew
Tea
Eff

dnlandes said...

"This one's not bad, other than the fact that it's neon pink, worried-looking, and apparently vomiting sprinkles."

You never fail to make me laugh audibility with each new wreck. I do not remember exactly how I stumbled upon this blog but I am glad I did. Your humor brightens my day. Thank you.

cannongirl said...

And why, oh WHY, is the brown dog so SHINY..... ploop ploop ploop!

clueuin said...

Belive it or not this is all I have to say....

O.kaaaaaaa!

Peace,
Clueuin

Ophelia said...

Oh dear, the footprints around the little yellow mush-puppy look like poo :(

Shadow Shaivya said...

*shudders*

The pink one was scary.

I'm not getting any sleep tonight.

Poetikat said...

It just gets better and better!

The second shot of the brown terrier does look like an end-product (with a few raisins, or black beads, that may have been swallowed).

The neon orange doggie makes me think of "The Scream" - you know, the Munch painting.

Kat

Alli said...

I think the neon pink/red one is clifford the big red dog. Can't explain why he is vomitting sprinkles, though!

Donna said...

The "worried" look on the pink dog's face cracks me up!

Thanks for my my day brighter--I love your blog!

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

This one really made me laugh! Sprinkles have totally made me throw up before! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Random Ambulance said...

...is the first one dog poo?

Anonymous said...

The hot pink dog reminded me... my neice and nephew are twins... they turned 2 on Sept. 19th. Their party was "Clifford" themed... they got them each a RED dog, 2 cupcake cake, to "eat"... as cute as it is to see them eat it and have icing from head to toe... RED wasn't the best choice... it dyes your skin... and your blonde hair... LOL

Wild Child said...

I didn't even read any description for the first "dog," I just saw the picture and said, "Oh, no, that looks like poop." Nuff said.

Sarah+2girls said...

The last one looks like his face was run over by a car

docgrumbles said...

Oh my! I am nauseous just looking at all those globs of icing!

Adele said...

That last yellow one looks like some kind of girl/boy Star Wars charachter taking a sunbath nekkid! What are these people thinking??? And yes I think when the first one was ordered the person taking the order only understood Brown Poo and didn't hear the -dle at the end so the people got what they asked for brown poo, not brown poodle. OMG, I need help, I am starting to think like the wreckmeisters.

Rachael M. said...

Hm...they definitely need to check their icing consistency before trying to create dog cakes!

cinnarose said...

I'm sitting at my desk with tears coming out of my eyes. "Vomiting sprinkles" is what got me. Oh how I love your blog, keep up the good work!

Miranda said...

I believe you when you say these are cupcake cakes ... but it's pretty disturbing that you can't see the cupcakes *at all*. Imagine trying to eat this, and getting all that gross icing all over your hands ... yuck. (I like icing, frosting, whatever you call it, but there are limits.)

Izabell said...

ok that is too funny, gross I made my daughter better cupcake dogs cakes for her bday and I am not a baker decorator!! wow the first one looks like diapers I have changed! seriously people paid money for these? i would be so upset if I ordered a cake and they looked like this! I like your blog so much it is funny and your writing is fun!

Poetry Sue said...

gag...

These are beyond words. The first one can't be a dog. maybe a dog by-product but not a dog....

Mandy said...

Okay, that first brown one looks like poop! Yuck!! I love your blog. Thanks for making me laugh on a regular basis!

Anonymous said...

The second one is Clifford. I recongnized him immediately and think it is a pretty good job. The other two look like wrecks.

Anonymous said...

Cruelty towards animals is bad enough, but cruelty towards pastry pets is a whole new level of sickness.

Anonymous said...

And I thought the argument for cupcake cakes is how neat and tidy they are. Apparently not; how could anyone eat something like these without a soup spoon and a poncho?

gastronomeuse said...

Poor puppies. I'm a cat-lover, and I still feel for dogs world-wide who have to suffer this kind of representation in the bakery world. I actually saw some at the grocery store this afternoon on my lunch break and considered sending them to you - but someone beat me to it!

It would make sense if these were jellyroll cakes - and that might make them a little cuter, but cupcakes? That's just absurd.

My boyfriend's name is Clifford (Cliff), and I've considered making him a cake shaped like his namesake, but after this, I'll stick with Clifford-the-Dog-shaped cookies painted red with Royal icing!

Thanks, Jen!

Ophelia said...

My problem with the pink dog attempting to be Clifford is that Clifford, big as he was, was a short-haired dog, and this design inherently implies a long-haired (or at least medium-haired) dog. If that really was trying to be Clifford, then somewhere in the world, Emily Elizabeth is crying.

Jenni said...

You're making me want more of these awful dog cakes!

frostingluver! said...

All you frosting haters are on notice. Frosting is the staff of life! Cake is merely a mechanism to get the frosting to ones mouth without plooping frosting all over the place!
The doggie cakes are awful as cake "art" but yummy as frosting delivering devices.

monster said...

Are you sure there are cupcakes underneath all that icing? These would be perfect for one of my friends. All she does is eat the icing and leave the cake on her plate!

topaz29 said...

I have a question about cupcake cakes. I've never had one and after reading your blog, I never want to! However, I don't understand how these are supposed to be served. Isn't there icing everywhere? How can you tell where to cut into it? And how can you tell today's doggy cakes were ccc? They look like there could be anything under all that frosting! Just asking because I honestly don't know! :)

diddlesgirl said...

for some reason that last one made me laugh so hard! for a moment i imagined an alligator in the water with a mop wig for a disguise. i just start laughing if i even think about that picture! thanks for the laughs!

diddlesgirl said...

i hate to say this as it shows that i watch too many kids shows, but, the last one makes me think of the doodlebops ... shudder!

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

Even knowing it is a dog I am having a tough time translating that blog into a dog. The eyes and nose look like raisins.

Am I the only one that thinks they are really small. How many servings can you get out of that blob...I mean dog?

Manders said...

My stomach is turning at the thought of all that icing! It is a lot of icing!! YUCK!!

Amy said...

That pink one looks like a character out of the book "Go, Dog. Go!"

Sara said...

I think this is worse than your standard cupcake cake. Why? Because I cannot fathom a way you could possibly hold the cupcake without getting icing all over your hands. Blech.

Unless there's no wrappers on the cupcakes. In which case... why bother with cupcakes at all??

Cece said...

I thought the pink "dog" was imitating a vacuum cleaner. But vomiting appers more accurate. Maybe he got into the kids Playdoh & is puking Playdoh kibble!

TornadoBaby said...

I think the pinky one is supposed to be Clifford... maybe those are balloons he's spitting up or something.

stringy-cow said...

You always crack me up XD
If I've ever feeling down about my work or how I'm performing, this will definitely pick me up haha.
I love the vomiting sprinkles part, great stuff.

As another note, this is one of those "cake trends"(as I'd like to call it) that I really hate. If it's done right, it's cute, but it still gets annoying to see it. What's worse is, people will see dog cakes JUST like you posted and will go squealing like "OMG IT"S SO CUTE!! YOU DID GREAT!" DX ahhh it makes me wonder about some people...

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the time the dog produced a big ball of slime that slowly oozed out into a big puddle - it was the same colour as the dog (white and brown) but had no discernible form or features... to this day we don't know which end of the dog it came out of, but not once have I ever thought that would make a great cake

Jen said...

Just looking at all that icing makes my teeth hurt. Sugar and fugly overload!

JenP said...

My just turned 3 daughter looked at the ploops and said: Mama, someone put poop on a cake!

Then she burst out laughing.

I pointed out they were, indeed, dogs not poop and she said very flatly: No. Not dogs, Mama. Poop. Poooop.

So there you go. Hardly dog at all.

I wonder what ploop tastes like? And I wonder if it leaves your own ploop full of radioactive colour.

lar2001 said...

there is SERIOUSLY only TWO cupcakes under that mound of frosting. I think I'm going to be sick.

Dana said...

I can tell they are dogs. But I'm a big fan of Salvador Dali, so that may explain it..........

Angie said...

I just found your blog... hilarious!!! I'll be back often.

www.theamericanhomemaker.blogspot.com

makeupandpearls said...

oh dear god is that clifford the big red dog puking sprinkles?!

Tayia said...

LOL! I love the last "dog". The ear ploops are great.

Moose Nuggets said...

My son asked if the first was a caterpillar.

Miz Dinah said...

Is there anything even UNDER all that icing? It appears to be all icing! Unless...is there a lonely cupcake under all that mess? ;)

Tracye said...

That thing looks like Mr. Incredible's baby Jack-Jack after he discovers his superpower is turning into a blazing ball of fire.

TheHorseGirl said...

wow... i must say though, that first 'dog' looked like one tasty glob of icing!
www.trialsofahorsegirl.blogspot.com

Lindsey said...

Jen, I'm a huge fan and daily reader. Your site is so much fun.

I can't sit by and not comment today--what are these people thinking?! I mean, some of the grammar stuff I understand. If you're working for a grocery store at barely minimum wage, I guess the customer gets what they pay for.

But these monstrosities are obviously supposed to have been decorated by actual cake artists and it's just so sad! They are so obviously bad that I can't believe anyone would put them out for sale. Can they not see how poorly they've done their job?!

People have serious blinders on when it comes to their own "talent" sometimes. It's the same as those yahoos on American Idol who really think they're the best. Yikes.

Beth said...

LOL our local grocery store has those, too!! They just look like playdoh or a buttload of frosting on a cakeboard!

RubySeesAll said...

I worked in a grocery store bakery with a lady who would make these cakes all the time. People would go buck wild over them as if they were the cutest things ever. What has this world come to? Pure ugly filth I tell you.

tfk429 said...

i love you web page. I found out about you in the recent issue of details and i must say you made my work day go by a little faster. Thanks.

Tyler

Anonymous said...

All I could think of with the yellow dog, was that he got into a hazardous material leak, and that's causing his face to slide off and the horrible yellow cast to his body. LOL

Thanks for the laughs first thing every morning!
~Amy B

The Southern Family said...

I totally have a post about one of these infamous dogs on my blog too!
http://thesouthernfamily.blogspot.com/2008/04/on-grayces-actual-birthday-i-got-her.html

It is pure weirdness. Yummy though.

Baya said...

This has got to be the funniest blog I've ever run across. Thanks for the hilarity!

WendyB said...

Hilarious.

Sara H said...

I think that last yellow and orange one is a flashback from the game "Hungry Hungry Hippos"... don't ya think?

Yénifer said...

The first one brings a stench to mind.

Also, maybe Clifford there (the red one) is supposed to be CONSUMING the sprinkles. I can also see it looking like he's vacuuming them up. Then again, maybe I am just charitably trying to find an explanation for the unusual sprinkle distribution.

And the last one is hilarious, I too thought it looked like the dog's face has melted off.

corrin said...

I just bought one of these dog abominations two days ago from the super walmart in Casslebury Florida.

They had a ton of them in diffrent styles (dogs, cats, bears exct.) I can attest to the fact that its two cupckaes in a line with forty pounds of icing thrown on top.

The cupcakes were actually very good. The icing formed a moisture locking tent around them. Then I think I passed into a diabetic coma for a while.

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

There are HILLARIOUS! After seeing them here on your blog, I found one at Walmart and brought it home. It actually looks much better than all the ones here, nonetheless, when my daughter saw the paw prints on the paper she said "what's that supposed to be mom? Terds?". HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Michelle Kemper Brownlow said...

We just ATE one of these cakes...got it at WalMart...I thought it was cute - my kids were a little freaked when we cut its head off! LMAO!

Kitti said...

These cakes are hilarious! And to my surprise what did I see in a woman's cart today at Walmart? A cake that looked just like the chocolate one! I got a picture of it on my iPhone!
Kristi

Anna said...

I am at work, just finished eating, and your commentary is making me laugh so hard, I am about to throw up. But I doubt I will be throwing up neon sprinkles...

carrie said...

I just saw a red one of these at our church festival tonight. It had gone through several markdowns. $15, no $12, no $9, no $6, how about $3, will somebody please take this frightening thing?!

lisa said...

i saw one tonight that looked a LOT like this dog, but it was supposed to be a Razorback (arkansas razorbacks.) oh MAN, was it ugly. i was so, so sad that i didn't have my camera with me.

Mandee said...

I've just discovered your hilarious blog. This post made me laugh, a lot!

Anonymous said...

i just laughed till i cried 'doggy ploops' i am loving your blog btw!

Ellie

ek3. said...

'ploops' is amazing. thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

I loved making the little doggie cupcakes! And they SOLD all the time.

JR

Shell said...

My 10 year old has just said to me - "mum, that's just wrong!! It looks like a big poop!"

Danielle said...

I think the one puking sprinkle is Clifford. Just a thought

Cupcakes Lady said...

Oh dear, the footprints around the little yellow mush-puppy look like poo lol...oh dear oh dear. Disaster. xx