Friday, September 19, 2008

Dead Men May Tell No Tales, But Wrecked Cakes Sure Do.

Friday, September 19, 2008



Avast, ye lily livered lubbers! Did ye not know it's Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Now raise yer mugs to winsome wench Kia M., whose bilge-water Wreck here is evidence of some focsal swab drinking up and yo-ho'ing a bit too much while on duty. Mayhaps this is why the rum is always gone, eh, maties?

That sea-sick writing and algae-ridden muck creeping up the sides should earn some scurvy swabbie a one-way ticket to Davy Jones' locker - and seriously, what self-respecting pirate keeps giant yellow inflatable flotation devices onboard? It's totally messing with the color scheme, and don't get me started on that neon "rave" ladder...er...wait, I mean...Arrrr! Yellow bad!

Shiver me soul, I'm running out of pirate lingo, me 'arties. I best be gettin' back to the Pirate ride over at Disney for a refresher course.
Vlad said...

Wow...talk about a 'Poop' Deck....

Anonymous said...

I think sweetie is a bit old for a pirate cake.

gayle said...

There are much better confectionary ways to celebrate talk like a pirate day. Linked are the cupcakes I made for work today :-)

Snigger Fam said...

ditto... If this was my "20" cake, I think I'd shoot myself, er, walk the plank.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Yer doom be at hand, ye scurvy bucko...now, where's my bottle of rum?

Lisa said...

I agree that a 20 year old might be a bit too old for a pirate cake AND to be called sweetie.

What is up with the "H" in Happy? Was the ship rocking when she decorated it?

Natalie said...

amused: I posted about TLAPD and Cake Wreck today!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

ewwww poop deck indeed! i can't help but wonder is SWEETY 20 months or 20 years old?

monster said...

Arrrrrgh...did they decorate that during an earthquake?

Jennifer said...

Cap'n Madd Jenny Kidd says, the scallywag who made that one needs to be keelhauled!

fluffy cow said...

Aaarrrgh me pirate friends... looks like they thought they needed to BLOB the deck instead of SWAB the deck! Ick!

Hyla Waldron said...

LMAO, that is horrible!

~Hyla
http://earthyfinds.blogspot.com

Princeton McKinney said...

Oh my. OH OH My. That cake has already been pillaged.

Glad you celebrated Talk Like A Pirate Day! http://blackwordswhitepaper.blogspot.com/2008/09/aaaaaargh-ten-things-you-need-to-know.html

Anonymous said...

I got a Miffy-cake, when I turned 20...however, that was on request.

This is a silly exuse for a cake, imho...
Arkarian-Kamui

Funnelcloud Rachel said...

Um, that brown border looks like it's straight from the butt. Hopefully, it's just frosting...

Kerri. said...

Oh, that is horribly awesome. :)

Clare K. R. Miller said...

The people saying a 20-year-old is too old for a pirate cake are clearly not anywhere close to 20 themselves. Pirates are quite popular these days, especially with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies--at my college (I just graduated), there's a thriving pirate club! I would love to have a pirate cake for my 22nd birthday... though, er, not one that looks like that.

P.S. I'm not sure fo'c's'le is an adjective.

CaliGirl9 said...

Yarrr! At least "sweetie" was spelled correctly!
That be one fugly poopdeck though with all that poop posing as decoration! Methinks even Captain Jack Sparrow would not make do with that decor scheme.
Methinks the "algae" coming up the sides of the "ship" look like meconium that should be in the baby's diaper in the previous blog entry.
Avast! Hope the cake was edible!

Annette said...

WOW! That is amazing! I work at a restaurant that does this cake quite often, but here's what it's supposed to look like!

http://www.decopac.com/detail_16499__1-1-14.html

Sheri in Rehoboth said...

Avast, ye mateys! Our ship has been attacked by the dreaded Goo Monster! Run for ye lives!

Just what IS the black goo supposed to represent, anyway? Everything else seems pretty clear but that poo goo has me stumped.

kas said...

What is that black stuff supposed to be? It looks like the "presents" my chihuahua left in the floor when I was a kid.

Kansas girl said...

"Arrrr, matey, watch yer back! There be a monstrous huge number twenty behind ye! Those scurvy beasts'll rip yer head clean off!"

(In other words... wrong cake for a number candle.)

ehudwill said...

Arrrrr! This be the funniest blog on the net. I be checking from sunup to sundown. yarrrrgh!

Anonymous said...

Judging by the link that hyla posted, the gobs of...algae stuff...are the Krakken's tentacles.

Looks pretty believable to me.

[/sarcasm]

skellington7d said...

I think those black blobby things are supposed to be the Krakken's tentacles, lol.

Angie said...

yes that is a sad excuse for what that cake was supposed to look like, thanks for the link annette. I made a pirate ship cake last year FOR MY 4 YEAR OLD! It looked WAAAAAY better and I'm definately no professional!
--Angie

Anonymous said...

whoops! Annette posted the link. My bad.

Zelmarific said...

What's with all the poop?

I mean, uh, shiver me timbers. That deficatin' 'as got me hurlin'!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting what the actual cake is supposed to look like, Annette. It really doesn't look half-bad if you let a TRUE professional do it.

Anonymous said...

thanks annette for finding what this cake is supposed to look like.
Holy crap, it should have looked GOOD!
The disgusting black smears are apparently supposed to be octopus tentacles. Ooops.

Anonymous said...

ugh, we offer this cake where i work...

trust me, no matter how hard you try, it ALWAYS looks bad.

Rachel said...

Oh..my...
I used to work in a grocery store bakery that carried these cakes (thanks Annette for posting what it "should" look like).
And not only did the cake kit come with every plastic item (the characters, helm, etc.) but it also came with a detailed card for the decorators on how this cake is made. I mean, these cards had everything from what size icing tip to the exact formula for making the colors!
How this cake got so off course is anyone's guess.

Anonymous said...

Just a friendly note: "who's" should be "whose." :)

Phil said...

I find something about this cake very endearing. yes, it's a wreck, but i'm sure the mom who made it put a lot of love and effort into it. i'm not sure why i'm having this reaction to it. but i think the consideration behind the pirate theme, and the fact that mom went out of her way to make it for her son that is most likely a little ungrateful and angsty, is really innocent and cute. i don't know what has come over me.

azam mansha said...

Wow, that's amazing and i like this

Needless To Say said...

Nothing says Happy Birthday like a lot of brown & yellow!

V. Nicharico said...

...20??? Hahahahaha!
I wonder if she invited all his freinds over for cake and pirate party games too!

KIM :-) said...

We used this for my sons Pirate birthday party a few months ago (he's 3). I hated it, but it sure tasted good! HAHA

fug estate said...

What on earth is the black stuff oozing down the side? Combined with the doody-brown "walls" built up along the edge, I see an Ex-Lax inspired moment that I don't want to be a part of. Poor Sweetie.

~ Keara said...

We had this same cake from a grocery store and they did a MUCH better job on it. That "algae" supposed to be grayish-blue Kracken tentacles with little black spots on them, wrapping around the ship. This example was certainly poorly executed, for sure!!!

Anonymous said...

Er..that looks like algae or mold (?) growing up the side of the ship. Perchance it's just been dredged from the bottom of the sea, and the two on it are actually members of a pirate reenactment club?
It could happen! LOL

~Amy B

janet said...

Uh, is it just me, or does that "Happy 20th" at the top look more like "hHpasdy pf20d"? than anything else?

Poetikat said...

I sincerely hope Sweetie told him to "Walk the plank"!

Kat

The Vintage Anarchist said...

Oh my God, I discovered your blog today and I nearly had a cardiac arrest. Of course I had to go back and read every one of your posts from the beginning... what can I say? Thank you so much for this hilarious, disturbing, worrying and nauseating site!!! LOVE YOU!! :D

xXx
(Bethany Dean)

Anonymous said...

There used to be a Saturday morning cartoon when I was growing up called The Pirates of Dark Water. Black globs of water would attack their ship and try to kill them and such. I thought this was just an old picture of a cake made for that cartoon. But nope, those are tentacles. This cake would have made perfect sense to me growing up believe it or not.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

I think that someone just threw up all over the cake and someone else tried to arrange the nuclear waste nicely to make it look like a presentable "poop deck." However everyone in this scenario failed to win. Especially sweetie...poor poor sweetie. I can still hear her sobs now!

Juliet said...

Shiver me timbers! When I saw what the cake was supposed to look like, I was quite impressed at the execution of this cake. Maybe there are octopus tentacles that colour... it was like the decorator didn't have all the materials he/she needed and had to make do.

One thing I have learned from this blog is how easy it is to make icing realistically resemble poo. The colours, the texture... it seems so easy you almost have to try *not* to make it look like poo. :-)

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

My kids could have made that cake.

Why the heck does Sweetie get so many bad cakes anyway?

Anonymous said...

Phil: what's come over you is that you forgot Cake Wrecks is about professional cakes, not Mom cakes. I'd cut a Mom a break too, but someone paid for this.

Janet: until you said that, I actually had not realized there was an icing "20" in there. I just thought the "H" was REALLY out of control.

Everyone: go look at the link Annette posted, for the company that makes the plastic pieces. There are two sample pictures. I kept looking at the second one, wondering what was up with it. Why did it have scalloped edges? Ships usually do not have scalloped edges. (Ok, they usually aren't rectangular, either, but you know what I mean.) Then I looked again.
... The second picture is a cupcake cake. These people are encouraging cupcake cakes. They must be stopped.

Threeundertwo said...

mmmmm - I wouldn't mind licking the frosting off Capt. Jack Sparrow's boots though. . .

(did I say that out loud?)

Debster said...

Why are they called pirates?

Because they ARR!

hennhouse said...

I just love your site! So, I left you an award over at the HennHouse!

Dea said...

EEEK! I've seen that topper set/decoration setup done WAY WAY better than that!!! :O Not to mention it being for a 20 year old....:{

Corinne said...

wait wait wait! my friend catie just got this cake friday for her 24th - http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v336/225/71/114501824/n114501824_30958027_7951.jpg

my mind is blown

Yerba Buena said...

Man, I'd love a pirate cake for my 23rd birthday. Just, you know. A good one.

holly said...

Nothing with Jack Sparrow on it is bad. Nothing. And I am 43 and would welcome a POTC cake any year!!! I'm a'thinkin' though, that those black...things...creeping up the side are tentacles of the Kraken.

Anonymous said...

I feel compelled to comment that this is a poorly done version of an already tacky cake design available in grocery stores- the greenish poop is supposed to be the tentacles of the craigon as it attempts to climb on board and eat orlando bloom or Johnny Depp. and perhaps this picture's a little old and Sweetie was planning to celebrate his 20th by seeing the newest POTC movie....

Youji said...

I know I'm necroing the heck out of this but I just have to say that you're NEVER too old for a pirate cake.