Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Believe the Children are Our Future

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


"Teach them well and LET them lead the way,
Show them all the [juvenile delinquency] they possess insiiiiide"


Because every four-year-old is searching for a hero, that’s why. And if that hero can bus’ a cap with his 9 mil (check the photo), so much the better.

Play on, Lil’ Derrick: play on.



Thanks to Mary B. for pointing this one out over on Photo Basement.
blackic said...

*is speechless*

Heather said...

Oh man, that is AWEsome!

Lauren said...

What is with the $$ rolled up and stuck in it? That is just too much. Great blog!

Liz C said...

Ah, but at least the cake was well-executed! (ha! I kill me!)

Geez, could that possibly be in poorer taste? I think not.

Chris K. said...

Are the dollar bills edible? Or can Lil Derrick use them to pay for ho's?

Anonymous said...

I especially love the money around the cake. I guess even a 4 year old needs to afford his bling, yo.

Lildonbro said...

Ha-Ha!! ...now I have the song stuck in my head though :(

Anonymous said...

OMG - what kind of loser parent is letting a 4 year old play GTA?

Sam said...

Cool looking cake... but not exactly kid friendly...

Chris said...

I'm sorry... did that say "Lil Derrick" or "Lil Derelict"?

NOW GET OUTA THE DAMN CAR BEFORE I BLAST YOUR HEAD OFF!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday.

K. said...

I weep for our future.

Suzy said...

What, no hot coffee?! Not a true GTA cake; )

Maybe...just maybe the kid was born on a leap year and is actually like 16?

Amy said...

Oh man some people are just nuts! What 4 year old is into those things? My 4 year old likes Thomas, Elmo, and Lightning McQueen, etc (you know... happy things). I couldn't imagine rolling up bills and sticking it on his cake with some dude holding a glock or whatever kind of gun that is.

I have to say you are so funny and creative when it comes to these cake descriptions. I laugh out loud constantly. I love your blog. Even my husband is hooked.

stac said...

OMG, where are the words? There is NO WAY my child would even know what GTA was at the AGE OF 4!!! Sheesh...nothing says 'here's hoping you can out run the cops when you grow up, Lil Derrick!' like a GTA cake! Whoo hoo!

Anonymous said...

Oh, yep, it's the 4 that makes this freaky. 14, sad, but 4, FREAKY.

kate said...

Hey, a kid's gotta have goals, right? So what if some four years are looking forward to kindergarten or getting a new bike for their birthday - this kid can STEAL one!

I often wave fake bling in front of my four year old's face and tell him if he cleans his room he can buy a gat. Gotta keep him motivated, you know?

---

My poor four year old is stuck playing Playhouse Disney computer games. I'm CLEARLY not up on what's cool for four year olds!

Erica said...

Has anyone called Child Protective Services yet?

Seeryus Mama said...

OMG, I just don't know what to say.


However, this is my new favorite blog. I love it!

MaryO said...

Tacky, tacky, tacky!

So bad and sooooooo sad. I can't believe a parent would order a cake with a picture of a dude with a 9 mm., not to mention the stolen cars and "cash". Ay carumba.

In the immortal words of Dylan, "The times they are a-changin'" Although I don't think this is what Dylan had in mind!

*Amber* said...

I'm really hoping that the disaster here is that the cake should have read Happy 14th Birthday!

KayƩ said...

^.^

V. Nicharico said...

at FOUR?! I don't even let my son play that at 14! :p Way to give your kid a role model!

Us said...

This cake says way more about the parents than the cake creator. And it isn't saying anything good.

whywouldyouknitthat said...

OMG! I am speechless. I saw the "Grand Theft Auto" first and thought "OK whatever" but THEN I saw "Happy 4th". I don't even like my husband playing Grand Theft Auto! LOL

jenn said...

The bills are so Derrick can snort the icing.

Richard said...

To be fair, they may have gotten it because it had toy cars on it - chances are no four-year-old knows really what GTA is.

evil cake lady said...

Chris K. said...Are the dollar bills edible? Or can Lil Derrick use them to pay for ho's?

Terribly funny, Chris K. Unlike this cake, which is just plain terrible.

veng said...

...and he's a fan of the worst of the series to boot...

dlyn said...

Unbelievable - and yet, there it is!

phillygirl64 said...

not sure I would have labeled this one 'Just Funny'...

I can only hope the decorator missed a number on the age

TheCourteousChihuahua said...

Something tells me I'm glad I'm not Lil' Derrick's preschool teacher...

kristin said...

I'm so in awe of this cake. My jaw has dropped completely to the floor. How can this be? A FOUR year old's cake?!!? Are you kidding me?

This one has got to be the worst that I've seen thus far. The parents themselves must be 16 years old to commission a cake like this for a child!

Cynthia A. said...

You just *know* that those cars are totally going to blow off those traffic lights and stop signs to get to that cash. They are already heading the wrong way down that one way street!

Guess what daddy's favourite video game is...um...nice that he is spending time with his son...? Oy.

Rachael M. said...

Ok, if this was an 18th birthday cake, that'd be one thing, but OMG!!!!!!!!! Four-year-olds are really SHOULD NOT be acting out beating hookers in the backs of vans...

All I am hoping is that someone explains the difference between reality and video games to Li'l Derrick before he pistolwhips someone at pre-school...

Kat said...

I'm hoping "Lil Derrick" was born on Fenruary 29th.

Trevor said...

Wow, if the dollar bills are edible, they actually appear to be well-done. But, yeah, talk about inappropriate!

amyd said...

I'll bet Lil Derrick has some interesting playdates.

Anonymous said...

If I was the bakery, I would have refused the business and call Child Protective Services. That is awful.

Ashley said...

But if Lil' Derrik is playing GTA, at least one should admit he's got pretty good hand-eye coordination, which will come in handy for those drive-bys.

Anonymous said...

This is a photoshop. The original said Happy 14th Birthday. You can tell by the gap between Happy and 4th.

That being said, 14 is still a little young for Grand Theft Auto.

Anonymous said...

This cake is...horrid. My daughter is 4 & I can't even comprehend a parent getting this cake made for their child. Wow.

Trillian said...

I have to agree that it looks changed. 14 is young but plausible because there are some moronic parents out there.

And if it isn't changed, I always assumed that it was bought as a joke to post on the Internet and not for an actual 4 year old (I've seen this cake around the web for a while now).

Anonymous said...

Ghetto much? Oy. It shouldn't even be made for a 14 year old! Try 34 year old is more like it!

Jodi said...

Photoshop or not.. I still wouldn't let my 14 yr old play this game!

*shakes head*

MaryO said...

jenn said...
The bills are so Derrick can snort the icing.

OMG ------ I'm ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

PamperingBeki said...

Bahahaha!!! Hysterical!!

Jen said...

There are no words. I can't. Oh my. 4 years old. I fear for his future. Seriously. Seriously dude.

Jen said...

Wow. Even photoshopped. Wow.

ClunyCapull said...

aww, come on people, prison guards gots ta make a livin' too!

lil' delilict is jes the next generation

job securitay

PerfectPear said...

Holy Cow! How do you top that for the big FIVE? Buy him a hooker? Or a police scanner?

MadWoman said...

Oh my...that's just wrong in so many ways. At least the cake is well done. I think the parent of that child should be given an award. Not sure for what, but there's got to be something.

RATSAWGOD said...

OW.

My soul.

I think it just died.

Anonymous said...

Maybe this cake is for a 16 year old, how is born on February 29th, and therefore has only had 4 birthdays.

Canaduck said...

Oh my goodness, I am so glad I've found this blog. It's so funny. Thank you for making it!!!

Mag's Nags said...

Some kids have a college fund. Lil Derrick has a bail fund starter kit on his cake!

TcH said...

two words....

white trash

Melissa said...

I cant decide whether I should laugh or be disgusted with the parents.

Allison said...

*shaking head in disbelief*

Anonymous said...

His twin sister probably got the "Li'l Ho" cake to match.

Manders said...

Perhaps they did get it because it had cars on it....BUT it also has a guy holding a gun....

K. Inez said...

HAHAHA!!

I just love all the indignant hand-wringing going on here.

explorer0713 said...

I choose to believe the cake is in commemoration of and adults' 4 years of sobriety. Or maybe his fours years out of prison after that unfortuanate misunderstanding over the camaro's ownership. And, I further choose to believe he is called Lil Derrick because his dad is Derrick, too.

Wait, these mushrooms on the pizza taste funny......

Anna said...

"Honey, bring me and Lil Derrick another beer! Son, watch and learn. Daddy's gonna teach you how to beat up a hooker...okay, it's your turn. That's right, oh wow boy, you make Daddy proud. HONEY, MORE BEER BEFORE I GET THE BELT! Oh, Derrick dun beat up his first hooker *tear* Here son, happy birthday! Let me hold your controller while you blow out the candles so you don't spill your beer."

alittlefruity said...

This is just SAD! 4 year olds should be playing with Trucks and Tractors.

Tristan said...

what a wonderful role model...ugh

Kat said...

This is proof that video games do not cause violence, cakes do. Just ask Marie Antoinette...

Misster Kitty said...

only thing missing from this getting the gold medal is a line of coke and a bottle of malt liquor

Anonymous said...

Ahhh..."Thug Life"

gollier said...

I'm going to pretend Lil' Derrick cake came from a deadbeat-but-loving uncle in the middle of the night, after learning only 3 nights ago about his birthday. The parents are shocked to discover the cake on the kitchen cabinet, understanding that someone broke in and left it there, but not having a clue who could be responsible. Lil' Derrick enjoys his frosty treat while mom and pop are busy calling people up for answers.

Sunshine said...

OMG, that's horrible. That's a pretty interesting cake, for a 21 year old maybe for a 4 year old? Just horrible.

Sarah said...

So much laughter, have read the whole thing... Now I am late for a dinner and I need to pick up a cake on the way. Please let there be a cake with something hilariously inappropriate iced on it.

bionelly said...

Anonymous said...

This is a photoshop. The original said Happy 14th Birthday. You can tell by the gap between Happy and 4th.

I'm not so sure. It looks like there's about the same amount of space between Happy and 4th as there is between Lil and Derrick, and what self-respecting 14-year-old would put up with being called "Lil" Derrick anyway?

Pam Power said...

i love this website with all my heart.

DaniFae said...

First post, and I'm breaking out my myth busting skills from Snopes, and Worth1000, I'm sorry.

I was having trouble believing this, so I checked it out in a graphics editor. It looks like the GTA stuff was shopped in. The first thing I noticed was that the background from the cover of the game was still behind the logo. With a little bit of zoom, there's some sloppy spots where someone used a blur or soften tool on the A and T at the begining of "Theft" and "Auto." And there's a line missing off of the last "S" in San Andreas"

Also, the pixelation's inconsistant with the rest of the picture around the guy with the gun, the Rockstar "R" the edges of that whole picture, AND the GTA logo. You can see if you look close.

So I'm pretty sure, it's a shop, a pretty good one, but still fake.

In all fairness though, I do love this blog, and don't want to come off as trolling. Just wanted to point out WHY I was doubting that this one was real.

Anonymous said...

Now, to be fair, a lot of parents just have party themes that appeal to them for the first few birthdays, because really young kids don't remember this shit at all. Four is a bit old for that, but maybe they just have an older sibling who didn't want to hang around for his little brother's party. I doubt Lil' Derrick is even capable of playing GTA.

STILL, a hilarious cake, no matter who it's for.

Anonymous said...

OMG! There is no way I would let my child have that cake.

Leslie said...

I haven't laughed that hard in while...his name is says it all for me. Here's to many ho filled birthdays Lil Derek!

Dea said...

EEEEEEEK!!! Anyone else hoping their kid isn't in Lil Derrick's class????? DOH! Parenting - FAIL!

Sarah said...

Just wow. There's no way a 4 y.o. (or even worse, 3 y.o.-- he just turned 4) should even be playing that game!

~*~K.A.T~*~ said...

Seriously WTF is wrong with people? Have they all lost it? And people think I'm crazy, at least I'm raising my kids right.

Sleepwalker said...

No offense to poor Lil Derrick, who's already been a member of this big old happy world family for 4 years(and had no chance pick out different doting parents), but maybe this is more proof that just because one CAN reproduce doesn't mean one SHOULD.

Joey said...

I'm hyperventilating because of this cake. The levels of inappropriateness is ridiculous. Sheer, glorious ignorance.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Danifae, but that's not photoshopping, it's just bad graphic icing. The graphics are probably blurry because the parent printed out a picture and gave it to the baker, who then made an edible transfer.

You gave me faith, but it's probably a real cake.

Joe Reaves said...

My first reaction was to email my best friend and say 'can't you just see your inlaws buying that?'. And she agreed.

You know your inlaws are trashy when you're planning to emigrate to another continent to avoid them ...

Cheri-Beri said...

I can say this because I'm white . . .

That cake is truly a low in white trash history.

Jo said...

I didn't even notice the money until someone pointed that out. I can't imagine how many germs that money must carry. On top of giving a 4-year-old an adult's cake.

Anonymous said...

Danifae you merely pointed out that the artist who did the cake did a poor job with the airbrush transfer or the edible logo printout. Nothing more. I use photoshop daily for work. You can trust me, it's not shopped. or you can keep trolling.

Dedicated_Dad said...

Sweet, Merciful Jesus.

These people are reproducing, and (perhaps worse) their vote counts the same as yours.

On the bright side, no doubt this was bought with food stamps, so at least we can all sleep well knowing we helped makeLil' Derrick's birthday a happy one.

It's funny, really: I saw and saved a copy of this ( http://www.forumammo.com/cpg/displayimage.php?pos=-1774 ) yesterday, thinking it was especially ironic. No parent is that stupid.

Actually, now I know the name of the poor child in the photo.

I too weep for our future.

G*d help us...

DD

Anonymous said...

Awww...Tupac would be proud. "THUG LIFE". Geez this is a bad rendition.

Nakia said...

I found a bigger/clearer version of the photo here: http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/140831.html

It really does not appear shopped to me. I think the GTA label was something scanned into a computer and then put on the cake.. kinda like you can get a photo put on a cake in the icing.

Scary.

Anonymous said...

After seeing this cake and the Eeyore/Eagles cake, I think a new parent of the year category is in order.

Anonymous said...

That cake would've been awesome if not for the fact that... it's for a four-year-old. PARENTS, YOU FAIL.

The Baroness said...

Aaaah, parenting. I just discovered your blog today, and i think it's awesome!

Eugene Sung said...

Hahaha I love it. In fact, I liked it enough that I featured this cake in my blog and added you to my blogroll.

ya ya's mom said...

OMG unbelievable!

Anonymous said...

I imagine a scenario: Doting but desperately un-hip granny goes to the baker.
"What do the children like these days?"
"Er... Grand Theft Auto is pretty popular."
"Oh, yes, little Derrick loves playing with cars. We'll have that cake, then."

PopcornBytes said...

Uh...

...is this for real? Has anyone noticed that "Lil Derrick" is only four years old? Woooowww.

Anonymous said...

My dears--
I am 54 and I'M too young for GTA!

MsKate said...

OMG-are those really dollar bills rolled up and stuck in the side of the cake? For a 4 year old? Oh no....

Master Smasher (tm) said...

100th Comment!

D said...

Having a DH who does play GTA and a 4 year old who is not allowed to watch the game (but is allowed to watch other console games), I do wonder if there is a missing digit (rather than 14 I was thinking 40) in the age.

Anonymous said...

Hey, at least his parents KNOW what he is playing. That is probably more than most of the "offended" people on this site.

Also, FAKE!

:-)

Destiny said...

Looks pretty authentic to me. I'm not surprised. Worked in a grocery store bakery. I've seen some weird stuff...

Awesome but maybe for a 14 year old?
Can a four year old comprehend what they're doing? I doubt they're doing missions. Probably in it for the car driving and running over pedestrians.

A slim chance but I hope hope hope that if it is a 4 year old the parent is explaining that you can't do that IRL...

Anonymous said...

People! Y'all need to chill! A four year old is probably only driving around. I let my 12 year old play this game and I am not ashamed. He just likes to drive things. In fact, he rides a bike around a lot.

Apache1228 said...

Yo moms, I better gets a GTA cake for ma birfday or I'll bust a cap in ya!

Ethan795 said...

Tsk stupid parents.

webRat said...

Everyone is missing something. Let me clue you in. How about... oh, I don't know perhaps Context?

GTA: San Andreas is the 4th in the GTA series.

We may be looking at a cake for a GTA developer for all we know.

zack said...

I find that depressing.

pea & pear said...

What were they thinking???
This is the most fun ever!!!
Ali

colourtheworld said...

how did you made that???
wonderful~!

Kristen said...

*jaw drop*


THAT was for a FOUR YEAR OLD???

X___x I cry...

terri'steasers said...

I am from Australia and just wanted to ask...is that REAL money on a 4 yr olds cake???

Mauri said...

chris k- any true fan of the GTA series knows you just beat the hos down after they're done.

webrat- It says happy 4th Birthday, not "Congratulations on finishing the 4th installment of GTA"

But seriously, this is terrible! I bet the cake artist said to him/herself-

"I really should just write 'Make it relate to Grand Theft Auto' like I've seen on Cakewrecks. This is a waste of my talent and I am truly ASHAMED of myself. Oh well, at least I sold myself out for real money, not the fake stuff I'm gonna stick oh so carefully around the cake. Lil' Derrick deserves some bling for putting up with his parents"

Jason said...

I don't know about you guys but my first reaction was "WTH, I'm 27 and nobody ever got *me* a cake this awesome..." followed by running through a list of possible ways to steal an entire cake from a 4 year old at his birthday party.

Maybe grab the cake out of the car on the way to the party, GTA style!

Alennia said...

Is that rolled up money on the cake? Sweet scam for the parents. Make the kid believe he's rich, then 'repossess' the money- either for the college fund or to post bail, your choice.

Anonymous said...

Its a photoshop. There's a 1 beside the 4.

Yes. There are some people who go "OH NO! A 14 YEAR OLD PLAYING A M RATED GAME SHOULDN'T BE!"

but believe it or not people, some people *do* mature faster than others.

Its the parents choice, and unfortunately, its not anyone else's choice but theirs. And complaining about it, or judging them for it, Is not going to do anything except get yourselves all riled up over something that, quite frankly, you can't do anything about. Legally, or otherwise.

You may disagree. You may be morally outraged. But its not your decision and its not your right to judge others because they made a decision that you wouldn't. Maybe your child isn't mature enough. Maybe you don't think their child is mature enough. Well guess what. You don't know their child so you don't really have a clue.

I do at least have to thank you for not blaming video games. Feels like its the latest 'new media' to blame for the world's woes. First it was comic books. Then it was Tadio. Then it was TV. Then was Rock and Roll. Now, it happens to be Video Games.

In conclusion. Its their choice, sadly. Not yours. Calm down. Getting angry will only serve to hurt you, and do nothing whatsoever against them. The rating system set forth by the ESRB is there for parents to learn about what content is in the video game, and what their child will experience in the game if they play it. Its ultimately up to the parent. If a four year old kid plays GTA...well, its the parents choice, and I doubt highly the kid really knows what hes doing.

And really, you've never ever played cops and robbers, and never been the robber?

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Dear last anonymous guy,

It's amazing to me that people always assume that something is photoshopped if it seems wrong. Maybe it's just wrong. I have it on good authority that it is 100% real the way it is.

What gets me is how indignant you seem to be over this whole thing. It may interest you to know that the beloved childhood game of cops and robbers did not involve beating up hookers, stealing cars or realistically shooting police in the head (at least not in my neighborhood.)

That said, you sound like you are young so here's a quick word of advice: Someday, when you're a dad, and your child starts exhibiting traits reminiscent of this game, perhaps you should consider taking it away.

And please note that, even though this is a comment with which I disagree, and comments are moderated, and it was anonymous, and it is regarding a ten month old post, I still put it through.

Chao!

john

Anonymous said...

Well, at least the cake doesn't look dreadful...

Cupcakes Lady said...

Unbelievable...and yet, there it is. No wonder the world is going to hell and back! lol xx