Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Celebrity Wrecks

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sure, they're rich, famous, and always get to fly first-class. But guess what? They get Wrecks, too.


These "olives" (in honor of Kristin's character Olive on Pushing Daisies) aren't too bad, but the bakery decided to make a nicely symmetrical pair instead of the single olive requested. I simply cannot imagine why. [wink]


This was made for the 10th anniversary of P Diddy's record label Bad Boys. Given the caliber of that lil' homeboy elephant-baby on top, though, I could have sworn it was for a baby shower.


"This cost me how much?"



The Hulk's family recently celebrated how "greatful" they were for their son Nick.


And the "Unbelievably Insensitive" award goes to...

...whoever thought it was a good idea to remind 10-year-old Bindi that she doesn't have a father anymore. On her birthday. (The most un-funny Wreck I have ever witnessed, folks.)


And last but not least, guess whose sweet sixteen cake this was?

That's right: it was for our very own crotch-grabbing soprano himself, Michael Jackson. Because every 16-year-old boy dreams of having a giant wicker basket of roses on his birthday cake. [shaking head] I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to feel a whole new sympathy for MJ. I mean, who knows what kind of cake trauma was inflicted here?

So, dear readers, the next time you bring home your misspelled and/or tragically decorated Wreck, be comforted by the fact that even fame and riches would not have spared you. Cakey wreckitude truly does unite us all. :)


Thanks to Annika W., Emily R., Holly Z., Hel E. for the pics, and to the many readers who sent me the Hogan link.

wilver-and-ecru said...

Oh, fail. Those are some weird-ass cakes, particularly MJ's one - you're right, who knows what cake-enduced trauma he's been enduring all these years? ;]

Morgan said...

Bindi looks thrilled!

TheCourteousChihuahua said...

Those green and red breastages go nicely with Kermie's va-jay-jay.

Miss Tia said...

in Bindi's cake defense, perhaps SHE picked that picture...

Jessica said...

Oh my goodness, the one for P. Diddy is simply scary to look at!

Archive of Awesome said...

As a former (rather decent) cake decorator - I LOVE this site! And ah... those cakes are sad.

emily said...

My problem with Bindi's cake isn't the picture choice, per se, but the fact that someone will be eating her dad. I mean, what will they do, serve up his face on a plate?

Dea said...

Yeah, even P.Diddy looks appalled at his scary-ass cake! LMAO!!!

I want a green boob cake for MY next birthday! YAY!!!

Trevor said...

Maybe it's just me, but don't those olives look like they aren't the same size? I mean, come ON, lopsided olives? It could just be the camera angle though.

And the P. Diddy cake? Wow, that's just, um, well, I did kind of expect some more bling on the cake. at least it was restrained in that sense.

Frank said...

The Crocodile Hunter cake appears to be photoshopped

Rebecca said...

I thought the same thing about Bindi's cake when I saw it in People...poor girl!
And the Michael Jackson cake explains o - so much.

The Broken Man said...

Oh, they are so funny - except the Irwin one, which was just sick!

The Broken Man

Anonymous said...

I thought the one which was supposed to say "Grateful" said "Guiltful", which is worse than "Greatful" ...

G. I. Poo said...

Forget about just seeing a cake with your dead father's face on it, how about CUTTING INTO IT!

yellemama said...

Have you seen Tori Spelling's son's first birthday cake? They call him Monkey, so they wanted to get a monkey cake. Unfortunately, Tori unknowingly picked a gorilla. Who gets a gorilla for a one year old? A well done gorilla, but still a gorilla. http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://bp2.blogger.com/_1IikE9_oKLg/R_D9KE905yI/AAAAAAAAJuI/s4v_SXwNuo4/s400/tori-033108-a.jpg&imgrefurl=http://celebrity-moms.blogspot.com/2008/03/tori-spelling-and-dean-mcdermott.html&h=400&w=300&sz=42&hl=en&start=1&sig2=S8_l0GYPCqh5eKDB6yApyQ&um=1&tbnid=gtJ_v_HPObo0GM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=93&ei=hsiqSJGrAafuigGr6r38Dw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtori%2Bspelling%2Bmonkey%2Bcake%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%25C3%25A6%25E2%2589%25A4%26sa%3DN

Shelli said...

and you completely forgot about the "new life," as opposed to the old life, apparently... (on the Hogan cake). Heh.

Anonymous said...

I think the pic of Bindi with her parents is kinda sweet. I'd be more concerned with the insensitivity of cutting through her dad's face with a giant knife!

mhb said...

Thanks for pointing out Bindi's cake. I thought that was just sick. "Happy 10th Birthday! You'll always live in the shadow of your dead father!"

Manders said...

I never thought I would say this, but poor P. Diddy & MJ...Look at what these cakes have done to me!!

Brenda said...

I think the saddest cakes are those that are well done by someone with obvious decorating talent, but the subject matter leaves a lot to be desired. :)

Sarah said...

Oh my.

I am at a loss for words.

GT said...

hooray for green boobies!!!

*Michelle said...

hahah - The Puff Daddy one cracks me up! The other two are inappropriate (in 2 very different ways) but the P Diddy one is terrible! And is it just me or smack dab in the middle of the melting baby's lags is a photo of Puffy?? I bet he was looking around for Ashton Kutcher wondering if he was getting punked.

Sleepwalker said...

Awesome! Big green wachungas!

Playin' Hookie said...

Beg to disagree about Bindi's cake. She has a father and will always have a father, he's just not living anymore. Also, that might've been her favorite family photo and she may have asked for a cake with her father's picture on it. Not a cake wreck, IMO.

As for the rest of the cakes...*sigh*.

A said...

Bindi has a series on Discovery Kids called Bindi the Jungle Girl, in which she introduces clips of her dad doing his thing. I think his mom has made him an active part of their lives even though he's dead. I think different families deal with this sort of thing in different ways.

Way More Homemade said...

I recently found you and am really enjoying your blog. I'm a home baker/decorator of sorts who has worked in the grocery store bakery and this is so much fun to see.

I agree witht the pp... Bindi may have wanted it that way.

gncurrier said...

CHENO!!!! Wow...

Helen Ann said...

Not to mention the picture of P-diddy placed strategically between the legs of the weird baby elephant person.

Helen Ann said...

I agree on the Bindi pic...It doesn't look like she is bothered by it at all...Though, actually cutting into and eating the picture may have later caused a second thought....

tanyetta said...

Hilarious!!!!!!!!!

MaryO said...

thecourteouschihuahua cracks me up!

Fame and fortune ain't everything and these "wrecks" explain a LOT!

LMAO as always!

Molly said...

Oh Cheno. I know you love your boobs, but really.

And my god, Bindi's birthday cake. That is a little unnerving. Though if there was ever any child who was ridiculously cheerful about her dead father (I mean, a child who actually liked said father), it's her. She seriously seems to be dealing with it better than anyone. Hell, maybe she asked for a cake like that (though I still don't get the appeal of wanting to eat your own face.) She's such a sweet little girl. I hope she had a good birthday.

Irishgirl said...

Ok....first I love this site. It's hilarious and I find myself checking it everyday.

As for the cakes, that P Diddy one is hideous! The MJ one.....um....I'm speechless. And the olive one, while funny, I'm more curious as to why they put number candles on the cake??? It was her 40th birthday. Why bother putting a 29 up there? Just leave the candles off, or put them on the sheet cake.

Elle said...

I was feeling bad for myself and my cakeless birthday this year, but not after seeing these cakes. LOL!

Juliet said...

Michael Jackson's sweet sixteen cake is really something else.

Mind you, I'd have loved that cake for my birthday when I was sixteen. However I am not a male.

Anonymous said...

what, when someone dies you just pretend they never existed?

this blog is great for photos, but the text isn't funny some of the time. you're trying too hard.

Karen (Pediascribe) said...

And mom Irwin is staring at her own picture as if she's thinking, "Does this cake make my butt look fat?" ;)

Anonymous said...

I got to your site from another's link and I'm so glad she mentioned it. You have made my day!!

I'm a 35 yr-old mom of 3 who is working on a degree and freaking out over assigments. I took a break to read blogs and after reading some of your posts, I've been laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing this stuff. My favorite is the pregnant belly with an interesting upper area! Yikes!

I still have plenty to catch up on and can't wait to share this site with my husband and sister. They will die!

Tisha said...

Bindi will be fine. My father died when I was 4, and everyone acted like he never existed. Much worse.

Anonymous said...

The P-Diddy cake is killing me! That strange mutant-homey looks like he's LITERALLY giving birth to Diddy.

Anonymous said...

My husband who is in Iraq just recently came across this blog and shared it with me. Thank you for making us both laugh during this year. Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I think the P Diddy one is supposed to be a hippo (get it? Hip hop?) not an elephant (no trunk anyway) but his picture between it's knees is just too much!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is really interesting! I'm only thirteen but have already taken some courses for cake decorating, and I have really enjoyed the run so far. I've made quite a few cakes myself that I've been told look really good(I really don't mean to sound full of myself), and I think your blog is just really fun to visit.

amyd said...

P Diddy's cake - what??? I just don't get it. And nothing says "Happy Birthday" better than a pair of breasts masquerading as olives.

These are hilarious - what's even funnier is those celebrity cake disasters probably cost WAY more than the average cake.

Eco Girl said...

I don't think that caused any trauma for Bindi. They talk about her dad often, watch videos, etc. I am willing to bet she picked the photo. She sure looks happy. People have different ways of mourning and remembering.

The olives are a hoot. I love that TV series and can't wait until it is back this Fall.

The PD cake was pretty bad though.

skatej said...

I find it strange that Kristin Chenoweth's cake has "29" in candles, when this year she turned 40. Perhaps it was a play on her age...

CutNJump said...

I too find the pic of Bindi laughing with Dad's face plastered on the cake a bit disturbing, but to each their own. If she is traumatized by people cutting into an eating the portion with Daddy's face on it, then her mother gets to deal with that too.

I am first time posting since finding this site from the Fugly Horse blog.

I enjoy the creepy bad humor some of these cakes present and have sent links to:

my sister- because her daughter is into decorating cakes,

my best friend- because she is an artist and can appreciate the humor of these things

and my Mom- so she can have a good clean laugh every day.

as well as a few others, just because.

Keep the great 'wrecks' coming. They are hilarious! But I don't want one for myself...

Mama Kalila said...

LOL - that is great... I love the olives...

Dea said...

Ok, um - people are reading WAY WAY into the commentary on Bindi's cake! It's a joke, people! And honestly, I hate the eat-a-person's-real-photo cakes to begin with - but if it's a deceased loved one that I must now cut up? CREEPY. Some people feel that way - others do not. Don't beat up on the messenger if you disagree with the message, eh?

Lisa said...

You have a fabulous blog going!! Love the BIG PAIR of olives.

lady jicky said...

I am with you on the Bindi cake.

RATSAWGOD said...

I've seen enough of Bindi on television to know she's very invested carrying on her father's interests and speaks lovingly of him often.

It's most definately not a cakewreck. And cutting into it is about the same as anyone who gets a cake with a personal photo on it- I'm sure they well-realize it's purpose is to be sliced and eaten. It's a cake, not a voodoo doll. What's morbid about that?

P-Diddy cakewas HILARIOUS, though.

Freezair said...

< sleezeball > Hey, baby, can I buy you a martini to go with those olives? < / sleezeball >

The figure on top of P. Diddy's cake looks like somebody threw one of those plastic "Homiez" figurines on a grill!

McBangle said...

Who took a bite out of Kristen's candles?

Apache1228 said...

I'm glad you pointed out what that thing on top of Diddy's cake was cuz I had absolutely no idea. I still can't really tell what it is.

MJ's cake just proves how disturbed that entire family is. Could have been worse though - could have been naked mohawk babies riding carrots - now THAT would explain a lot. Are you sure you don't have those two images mixed up?

Larisa said...

I just found you and I think I'm in love. :o) Thanks for the giggles.

Liz said...

Isn't Michael Jackson a Jehovah's witness? I've read before about how he doesn't celebrate birthdays...

elesa said...

"Cakey wreckitude truly does unite us all. :)"

I laughed so hard when I read this, but I know I was only laughing because it is so very true. This will be my new mantra. Thank you for your wisdom. Truer words were never spoke.

DaveX said...

The P-Diddy cake looks like someone is trying to resurrect the California Raisins, haha!

As for Bindi's, my guess is that this was a favorite photo, and it's just a good way of including her father in some sense. Look for video of her speaking at her dad's funeral-- she obviously has an incredibly courageous and positive outlook on life.

Anonymous said...

OMG. These are absolutly hilarious. I have to forward the link to your blog to my high school bakery teacher. (yes, I learned how to decorate cakes in high school)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

I followed someones link to this site and I have to say I have had the best hour and a half looking thought all the posts ... thank you so much for the laugh and after my birthday cake (no pictures available sorry) I am pleased to announce that my sperm looking balloons are not so bad after all LOL

Anonymous said...

i truly enjoy this blog! i have never laughed harder! thanks so much! i look forward to the next post!

Mackenzie said...

The idea of using the photo on Bindi's cake isn't disturbing, but the idea of then cutting and eating the face of her dad, um, not so much for me, thanks. If it were a picture of my dad being eaten, I'd definitely find it disturbing.

Anonymous said...

I saw the pic of Bindi's cake a couple of weeks ago and thought the exact same thing. Why oh why would she want a pic of her dead father on her cake????

Sharon said...

Thank you for this site and for providing me with countless laughs. You rock!

adozeneggs said...

Those olives are lopsided, I wouldn't have charged for that error alone. Never mind the candles rising from the pimentos.
That P Diddy cake looks like it was made by a 3rd grader gone wild with a star tip. Horribly executed cake,what a sloppy mess.
MJ's cake, so totally inappropriate.
And that Hogan cake, can't they afford something better than a Costco cake??

hooper said...

There are also unnecessary quotation marks about Nick's "New Life". I guess it will be the same as his old life.

http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

Melanie said...

Yeah I've found insensitivity with the Croc Hunter all the way round. Check out Bill Maher's costume I posted on my blog: http://costumecritic.blogspot.com/2008/08/somebodys-going-to-hell.html

Seriously, can you believe that? I don't know why people want to forget the feelings of his family and the fact that 2 young kids are going to grow up without a father. Ok rant over!

Virginia's Stupid Drivers said...

Those other two were horrid, but I don't see anything wrong with Bindi's cake. Some take loss better than others.

kottoncandie said...

I love how Kristin's cake says 29 on it when she's actually 40 ;P

E said...

Seriously, why is the Bindi cake posted here? That's just reaching. I'm fairly sure the dear girl hasn't *forgotten* she had a father, and she was *very* fond of him. Whatever is the matter with having him on her cake?! I'm sure she wanted him to be there to share in her special day, and since she believes he's still with her, I totally don't see how this is inappropriate in the *least*.

Ronnica said...

It's creapy enough to "eat" a person who is alive on a cake, but a picture of someone who is dead?

Jon H said...

" but the fact that someone will be eating her dad. I mean, what will they do, serve up his face on a plate?"

Well, not necessarily. When my 8 year old nephew was a baby we had a small photo cake made of him. It's still in my mom's freezer.

Then again, people eat bits of Jesus all the time.

Anonymous said...

the pregnancy cakes look like what the inspectors found washed up on the beach in JAWS I-X...

Evergrey said...

The twin olives are compensating for the lack of flesh on skeleton-lady there, I think.

katie said...

Why is the deformed elephant baby crapping a photo of Diddy's head?

And Bindi looks purely traumatized by that cake.

Wendy said...

Did you see the picture on the internet of the man who passed away and wanted to be standing for his wake? The guy on the top of Diddy's cake looks just like that guy. So disturbing!

Michelle said...

Not only is the Bindi cake tacky for her, but the little boy looks like he's going, "Daddy?"

Liz :) said...

and not to mention Diddy's face in the crotch of that elephant baby... WTF??? I'm assuming his assistant was FIRED!

Anonymous said...

Trevor and adozeneggs - most women's... olives... aren't exactly the same size on each side, so that doesn't necessarily make it inaccurate.

Mcbangle - I thought the same. Maybe it was obvious to you and you were just kidding, but I was genuinely puzzled until I saw the long drip of wax on the one on the right and realized the candles were just melted. I guess it didn't occur to me because I don't think I've ever been to a party where number candles were allowed to burn down that far. But then, I don't happen to hang out with anyone whose birthday is a publicity photo-op. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey now, I would've been thrilled to get as interesting a cake as MJ's for my 16th. Roses rule.

Nothing's wrong with boys who like flowers. We do exist.

If it's something someone wants? No real tragedy, unless it's executed poorly...

Of course, giving a cake like that to someone who -didn't- express a liking for things like that? That way lies madness. And colossal lack of tact.

Jenn said...

For my grandmother's 80th birthday we ordered her a cake that said "It's Good to be Queen". When the cake arrived at the party- there was a slight mistake. It instead said, "It's Good to be Queer". Oh dear!

SimplyEverything said...

Absolutely horrible! Michael J's cake doesn't surprise me though. It looks like the cake decorator knew it was for Michael Jackson and made the ugliest cake possible. Surprised it wasn't a Neverland Ranch replica. Silly M.J. Great site though, so random and funny!

Mauri said...

The P Diddy Cake is the worst one. The olives, while boobular (yep, that's a new word) would be cute if they stuck with the one. Bindi's cake isn't that bad, if you get a picture cake someone is bound to eat the face. MJ's cake... would've been a better wedding cake.

But Diddy's cake....

WHAT

THE

HELL?!?!?!?!?!

I'm not even talking about the deformed elephant baby or the fact that Diddy's pic is between his legs.

What's up with the frosting?!?!?!? It looks like the cake is so disgusted with itself that it's trying to self-destruct. That or it's vomiting. You decide.

And all the pictures around the bottom joined by the vomit/icing??? Who designed this cake???!!! And was anyone brave enough to eat it?

mica_lika_pi said...

not ONLY is Bindi's cake reminding her of her father who is no longer alive, but SHE isn't even in the picture on the cake--a family photo sans little Bindi.

What a tragedy.

And what a ridiculously insensitive cake, I agree.

Caz said...

This is an old post, but I just discovered this site; hilarious.

But have you ever seen Josh Hartnett's 30th bday cake? I'm a huge fan of his, but I've heard that his friends can be dweebs. They surprised him with a very interesting cake. Link: http://www.suprememanagement.com/being/?p=536

Miciah said...

what are you talking about bindi as if it were so bad? steve is still part of her life everyday life, and his videos are watched daily.
australian culture is not like U.S.A where they pretend the dead person never existed, until one day the person loses their mind and needs counselling.

Anonymous said...

Micia-
Americans don't pretend the dead never existed. And very few people lose their mind. Actually, scratch that-- last time I checked everyone was insane, (some, like the author of this blog, in a good way.) but whatever.

Rawley said...

Reading through some of your archives and I have to say -- I love your site! Very addictive :)

But had to post about Bindi. It's her father! On her birthday. Why on earth is it bad to want to have a family photo on your birthday cake? Why is is a "wreck" when someone wants to be reminded of their loving father on their birthday? I really don't see how this is a wreck and I definitely don't understand some of the comments labeling it as "disturbing"

So a little girl is laughing and smiling on HER BIRTHDAY. With a photo of her family on her cake. This to me shows a picture of a loving family who are celebrating the life of Bindi and Steve. I honestly can't see what's wrong with that.

Aunt of 14 said...

OH my, you know the Olives cake? And you know how lots of women have one boob slightly smaller than the other? This cake too! WHERE do you find this stuff?! :)

Anonymous said...

michael was a strict jehovah's witness at 16. he didn't celebrate birthdays. is that photo legit?

love your blog! been reading a long time. <3

housemdfan1 said...

I dunno...it doesn't seem any of them are upset about the cake. Though the idea of eating Steve Irwin's head is disturbing. Still...

LONG LIVE STEVE-O!

Riyoku said...

I think with the Bindi cake it's not so much the cake as the look on her face. That's not a look of sheer delight in my honest opinion so I somehow doubt she picked that one out. Her brother however seems to be far more thrilled. Lip licking action there.

Birthday cakes don't need huge pictures on them reminding you of what you don't have anymore. I think they should have given her a picture of her favorite animal with a "Happy Birthday" and called it a day. Not a family portrait that doesn't seem to even include her in it?

Anonymous said...

I totaly feel for Bindi. my dad died shortly before i turned 11
-Eva

Anonymous said...

I know this is old, but I just wanted to answer the questions about Michael Jackson's cake.

Just because he and his family were Jehovah's Witnesses, doesn't mean that maybe his publicist, manager, agent, or whoever wouldn't have ordered a cake, you know? That's what I think.

And probably explains the flowers.

Cupcakes Lady said...

Have to agree, the Diddy cake is killing me! That strange mutant-homey looks like he's literally giving birth to Diddy. Class! lol xx